Original subtitles

When I was making Hedwig, I realized there was a lot of films coming out of

Europe that were using real sex.

But all of them were really negative. I wanted to use sex the way that I used

music and Hedwig.

So we had an audition website. We called the project the Sex Film Project.

We realized for the actress to feel safe, they really should help create the

film. So we cast the actress first, and then through workshop, improv, we

created the story.

It's a beautiful day today.

Woke up this morning with sunshine on my face.

And since dawn clouds have lifted.

I keep drifting back to you. Yeah, you.

You alone have the power to redeem me. I was lost and I'm still lost.

But I can't deny the feeling.

It'll be okay.

There's no return out here.

What do I feel like we're going to get?

That's right. And correct.

Well, I got an email from this one couple who said they want to

tape their thing today to generate enough orgasmic energy to save off the

Tomorrow's the big anti -war protest. Yeah.

So this guy's really interesting.

He's really ironic.

He's really pretty.

He's feminine.

He's, uh...

He sang the song and it was kind of unselfconscious.

But he cheated.

So, my name's Jay and I'm an alcoholic. Oops, wrong video.

My friend suggested that I send in a tape for this because I'm a whore.

I don't know, the website, it made it sound like that was sort of a plus.

Sam, I'm an equity actor.

I am an equity actor.

And I'm left?

No. Do you have anything else?

What's that?

Pam.

So, tell me about...

Can you name the best sex you've ever had?

No. No? No.

Some of? One of?

Oh, God.

It'd be hard for us to name the sex I had last night.

I lost my virginity in the back of a blue van.

I was 14 years old, and the person that I was having sex with, Paul, was 27.

I remember after we had sex, I got out of the car, was parked two blocks away

from my house, pouring rain outside.

The pain between my legs was so huge, I couldn't bend my legs, so there I was

walking very stiffly home.

My name is Peter.

I am 26 years old. I live here in Manhattan.

This whole city is running out of sex.

Everyone wants to have it. Everyone's having it.

And I want to see.

I want to be involved in that. I really want to be involved in everyone having

sex right now. Whoever's having it, I want to be there.

and take it in and fucking appreciate it, you know what I mean? I just want to

be part of this project in any way I can. It just seems like it's so perfect

me.

What's happening today is we're all going to have little seats and kind of

gauge our initial impressions about sort of attraction.

Well, it won't be this or this. It'll be this, this, this, and this.

There'll be four categories.

or never, like, couldn't possibly think about it, then curious, possibly,

need to know more.

Then, I think so.

And then, definitely.

Okay, next.

Raphael Barker.

Right here, everyone, ladies and gentlemen, from Boulder, Colorado.

And when my dad told me about the birds and the bees, it was like...

Like I felt like some moisture behind my testicles. I thought that was cum or

something.

So your nuts were sweating?

Yeah. Yeah, I was like, that's it?

That's it?

Yay. All right, this is Jonathan Coette, who's made tapes of himself since he

was like 10. He used to bait me.

So why don't you give your agent the tape, man?

I mean, uh...

I mean, didn't anybody ever give you a helping hand when you were starting out?

We have this big chart of sexual attraction.

I think we'll try to put the people who are most attracted to each other

together first. This is Jay Brannan.

It was a four for Raphael. Film or no film, straight or not, I will have

Raphael. Am I here okay?

Yeah, fine.

What did Raphael say? Nothing.

It's not happening, baby.

Jay Brannan.

He said he was energetic.

Sookie and Lee.

I mean, adorable, right?

Great to look at. Right?

Emotionally available.

Does he know yet?

No, we're calling him today. And remember I cast him thinking he was gay?

We call him back and I'm saying something about other guys and he's

know, I'm straight.

He really clinched it for me when he did that one thing with Du Bois, the phone

sex thing with Du Bois, where he just burst into tears like Goldie Hawn in

I just want to look into your eyes.

Yeah, I want to kiss you really slowly.

I want to taste your lips.

But I don't want a whole lot of tongue.

I like lips.

I got big lips, yeah.

Yeah.

Are you kind of like a thick guy?

Yeah. I fucking love thick guys.

Yeah. I'd like for someone to be a little more built to me, you know? Yeah.

need something to hold on to.

You can hold on to me.

Yeah? Yeah.

Thank you.

Stop. I'm so sorry.

I'm so good.

I'm back.

He's done everything.

He's been a literary agent.

I mean, he makes old films where he plays Gwyneth Paltrow accepting her

I'm wearing a wig, not because of Hedwig, but more.

I don't know, I just like to wear the wig. I think because I'm balding, I'm

starting to bald, which I should probably show you.

And when I'm wearing a band -aid, I wear the band -aid because I'm Chinese.

Lying in these bags is my job right now.

Peter Sickles was someone that, when he first came in, I thought, okay, he's

like a very, he's like a regular actor. He's probably uptight. No, no, you're

fucking with something very pivotal to them and to me.

Like a lot of the actors that we have seen that are more professional. And,

know, as we saw, many of them dropped out.

Remember, we called them back.

Three of them dropped out because of the sex part and the fear of their careers.

I'm here, bitch. What are you on?

Hi.

Sebastian.

From the beginning, we've all loved her.

There's no reason not to love her.

She keeps delivering more and more every time we saw her, right?

Anthony. Because he and Sebastian, I think, out of all the, most of the...

auditions elicited the most sort of sympathy. Like people wanted to be

out to individuals.

And it's interesting because they're also the two youngest, I think, of our

bunch. The two Pauls are kind of a couple now.

I think they're ready to go.

I'm ready for my close -up. That's the nine people.

Should we call them? Yeah, call them.

We're calling, honey, to invite you to the workshop.

Oh, my God.

Thank you. You're welcome.

That's so exciting.

It was kind of like, oh, well, this is official then.

You're going to be having sex with these people, and there's a chance that you

could be having the kind of sex where you'll be transmitting diseases to each

other. Like, this was getting pretty intense.

Thinking back now, I remember being very nervous.

and seeing all these people that I had no idea who they were and thinking, who

am I going to have sex with in any minute now?

But then after a while, like, oh, wait a minute, we're just hanging out and

we're just kind of making something.

Today really will be like a press conference about someone's life.

So anyone can ask any question, but I'd like it to be more fact -based rather

than...

How do you feel, or, you know, what are your dreams, or... We are hot people.

What's your name?

James Michael Basden.

Robert Epstein.

I'm not sure, I might change it to Schnell. My name is Caleb Richardson.

My name is Jamie Barnett.

My name is Sophia Lin.

Um, Blythe.

Siddhartha. That's what you see. I'm seeking to put away things that make me

happy. and welcoming things that I hate for personal growth.

At the end of 650, it's supposed to find me a husband.

I own a pair of night vision goggles.

I model because I hate it.

I avoid sex because I love it.

And you'll need my permission to touch me.

I get upset. I am upset.

Did I help you? No.

Period. Find out. He's avoiding.

Yeah. It seemed stupid. It seemed unfair.

It seemed selfish.

I really don't sort of need that from you.

I really feel that I've been given the opportunity to share whether it's a

idea or whether it's a fear. I had the opportunity to bounce it off of John and

the other actors.

I also realize I'm kind of trying to create a process, even more than a

So how can we do a theme and do it over and refine it, do it over and refine it?

Thank you.

Well, honey, thank you for not needing to have a hard -on with me. Oh, God,

was incredible.

Definitely.

I'm sorry.

That is so disgusting.

Michael Geith, Moby, Adam Magoyan. Then it got front page news in Canada because

he was well known and they ultimately backed him.

And actually right before it, Sukina was starting to feel getting a little cold

feet about the sex.

So I think now that the sex is actually approved by the Canadian government,

yeah, it probably feels more comfortable.

Or feels like she has to do it now for her country.

You know,

I don't know what the fuck's going on.

Sebastian and Anthony have dropped out independently almost on the same day.

On the same day we get an offer.

I was at first all scared to tell you guys because I thought you would all be

demoralized. But I've just been really happy that you guys have made me feel

better. But you know what, it's part of the process.

We know what we have and it's going to make it better in the end.

Some of the actors that we cast originally couldn't separate themselves

character.

In fact, one actor called the character by his own name,

which I begged him not to do. You know, it's like...

Just like I thought, he had major problems with how the character was

because he couldn't separate himself from it.

I mean, are you, is like part of the thing that you're subverting, does that

make it so that you're sort of using the like, I don't know how to put it, like

filmic...

tropes or whatever of pornography?

Is there a close -up of my pussy?

Pornography is something that there's no connection to in this film.

The way it's shot, the purpose of it, the repeating of it, it's not

anything to do with what we're doing.

Which is hard for people to understand because that's the only example of

American made language on film.

Hypothetically, does every woman need to experience an orgasm or... In there,

yeah. What is this place? This place. Is this like a women's club or a support

group? I was just going to say, like, when you come, do you feel like it's

hugely important thing that's happening, you know, in terms of you and the

universe?

Ah, it feels a little bit, ah, kind of like, um, like, uh, like somebody's

to kill me. I'm pre -orgasmic.

I've never met anyone like this. I don't know.

I'm actually post -orgasmic, just to clarify.

But in the first audition tape, you know, we all submitted personal stories

order to even be counted as a possible actor in this movie. And the one that I

was interested in telling was the, you know, sort of coming -of -age story of

myself and how I finally was able to have an orgasm.

I finally learned to orgasm, not with another man.

Not with a woman, but by myself with my beaver.

This is a mama beaver and a baby beaver and God.

And when you use the remote control, the mama beaver's tongue stimulates the

clit.

And when you do the other side, the God begins to move.

There are parts of me that I think is like with Sophia, not overt.

Things are the same, but what I do share with her is a sort of like battle

between following instinct and emotional instinct and then over -analysis and

neuroses. This is a battle that Sophia has that is waged during the movie, and

am constantly doing that in my own life, so it was very easy to draw upon.

Sidewalk is rushing at my head again.

I'm lying on the street in the rain and wind.

I'm doing forward rolls down Avenue A with my guitar.

The National

Anthem, we're taking the piss a little bit there.

But at the same time, we truly are talking about The optimism of the U .S.,

ingenuity, I mean, even the positions that the three of them are in is rather

ingenious. There's a resonance of the pursuit of happiness.

Working with Polly has been

a palette of emotions, you know? It's, like, beautiful and

lovely and challenging and rewarding.

She loved me.

You don't love me anymore.

What I became interested in exploring with this character was this

deep -seated feeling that a lot of gay people have that what they are is

wrong or bad.

You know, even in the most, you know, in the face of, you know, great love and

great beauty, that, you know, they can't feel the love.

Don't you say I don't...

Make a wish. Make a good wish. Make a good wish, John. Big wish.

Something selfish.

For everybody.

Yay!

It's a salon for the gifted and challenged.

Hiya!

I don't think I'm going to have trouble getting through. I've been getting

through crowds and bars my entire life.

We're trying to find a condom to look as close to not wearing a condom as

possible. Because here's the thing, John wants to see something.

Yeah. When he gets here. When's he supposed to be here, by the way? He's

from 3.

The building itself is...

I mean, in tone, it's almost like a really good Woody Allen movie from the

70s. How many people are going to be there? Are they going to be, how close,

up close? What if, you know, I'm put on the spot?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah,

I was thinking about that.

Then we met John.

His energy is so laid back and cool. It makes us feel really, really

comfortable. I've seen multisexual things going on just to make my

actors.

Realize that I'm not a hypocrite. So Keenan's like, well, if we're going to

it, you have to do it. So I'm probably going to be a sex journalist scene too.

Yeah.

I may even have sex with a woman for the first time in my life.

Either get it up in the air or you eat her out.

Well, I don't know. I might eat her out or something.

Oh, you don't want to start with that.

Why not?

Should I? I'll just tell him I'm a little nervous right now.

All right.

See how that, like, wrinkles up?

Right, totally.

I mean, there's nothing I can do with makeup.

Nothing you can do. I know.

So when she does that and you react, you go... Karen?

Yeah, and then you look at her. You put it right there. Right, that's it.

Action. Ow!

Sorry!

Something's in there. Something's in the bottom there.

Do you like it lower, way down, or do you like it... I like it kind of

a little down.

Here you go!

Help me!

Can you help me?

I feel like Justin's happy, but I don't know.

I feel like I should be pleasing you.

Okay,

well, you know what? As my friend Lotus Weinstock used to say, I used to want to

change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity.

Excuse me while I crawl out of here.

You are a genius.

Louis, shall I pay you the big bucks?

Hi, yeah, I wanted to inquire about the female condom. I just want to know, how

does that work and when do you actually put it on? So what happens, like, do you

know how this scene's going to be shot? Because it says that she shouldn't stand

up. to avoid the semen spilling out so she can't stand up. He's not going to

come. I thought about that last night, though. I was like, what if I actually

do? Yeah,

what if we're having sex? I'm like, oh, God.

Hold a second.

Whoa!

Got an orgasm. Sorry about that, folks.

I think that the sex, and particularly in my character's case, being

it's a moment of...

existential submission for James, if not divine.

His existence truly depends on it, because the character needs to access

this core of his strength that has been buried.

All the characters manifest this. You know, they all are trying to feel

something.

The hope is, of course, that they would feel love.

This is so multi -layered. It's not even... It's not... I might have been

excited by the prospect of having sex on film, like, as some sort of fetish for

me, but, like, this is so not about getting off at all.

Like, after a while, we realized it wasn't really about having sex with each

other. It was about, you know... It was...

Dispects became a metaphor for other stuff that our characters are doing.

A lot of pain there, Sean.

You were there once yourself.

I feel really kind of raw, you know, I feel kind of a little embarrassed and

like, you know, kind of almost whorish.

So it's kind of a mixed bag.

I know that there's, for me, karmically, I know that I'm in for this, for some

sort of healing for myself.

That I've tried.

And as your last breath begins.

I jumped into the thick of my bones from the pains. It's just your solidarity.

And I felt nothing.

But I was feeling really emotional like I couldn't really be part of the world

that I was creating so I just lay back and I Looked up and I saw all these

people having sex around me and then I thought Aaron and he saw me and he saw

look on my face and he reached out his hand and he held on to my hand for the

rest of the shot

Thank you, guys. Thank you, everybody.

Did you guys sleep on the plane? We slept on the beach.

Have you been?

It's crazy.

Yeah. Really? Why? What's going on?

It's just everything's starting.

It is.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's just like everyone's getting ready.

Angry.

Yeah.

Okay. John said that we should call him once we have a plan.

Oh, look at this.

It's like me.

Cloud position.

That's why they call it the cloud position. Wait, if I had to feed him?

you go.

Yeah, I could definitely do it.

Then I'd be like crying.

Crying.

When we started the process, none of us really knew what kind of film we were

making. And none of us really knew where we were headed.

Personally, I think everything's about love or the absence of love. And my

specifically Hedwig and Short Bus, are about the question we have to ask is

whether we're going to be alone or not alone.

And that can mean sexually and romantically, or it can mean

I felt less alone making this film.

The group that worked on Short Bus together are...

I think, probably bonded a lot.