All language subtitles for The.Middle.S01E05.HDTV.FEVER.en

here in the midwest,
fall is the best time of year

corn mazes,football booster club,
and in our neighborhood,

the birchwood avenue block party.

If you live between 321 and 452
birchwood avenue,you're more than welcome.

But if you don't,well,u're out of luck.

But the most exciting thing about
the block party is the birchwood 500--

three nail-biting laps around
the block on your riding mower.

The whole neighborhood looks
forward to it,

especially the kids.

Lawnmower races are lame.

Well,most of them,anyway.

Axl's in that phase right now where
everyone and everything is lame.

Birthdays are lame.

tv's lame.

Food is lame.

Hey,last yearwhen jack meenahan
won,you said,"don't worry,dad.

We'll get 'em next year. " We.

And for that reason alone,

I bet him thatthe loser this year has
to mowthe other guy's lawn for a year.

Yeah,well,that was lame.

you know what's lame?

Thinkingeverything's lame is lame!

- That's what's lame!
- whatever!

what I just yelled was lame,wasn't it?

Well,we're not allowed to
yellwhat we really want to.

I'm supposed to tell
yousomething. It's important.

important.

Well?

they wantto talk to you and
dadabout that testI had to take.

The waterman-ginsberg test? Yeah.

Why'd I have totake that
test anyway? No reason.

Then why'dthey only give itto me
and the kidwho sets things on fire?

Mom,throw this.

that w justthe day you took it.
They give that testto everyone.

They don'T.

Throw it again.

Wait. Why am I doing this?

Tryouts for tennis teamare next week.

You're trying out for tennis?

No.Coach saidthat's a long shot,

but he did say there
areopenings for ball girl.

And I'm the onewho needs testing.

The reason brick needed
testing was because...

well,the counselor explained
it so well,I'll let her tell it.

Brick's teachers referred
himfor waterman-ginsberg testing

because they observed that--although
very bright--your son struggles socially.

In layman's terms,he has
a hard timemaking friends.

We needed some $500 testto tell us that?

I could've told you thatfor free.

- Mike,let her finish.
- Thank you.

the test revealedthat
brickis slightly challenged

in his ability to
establishappropriate peer cnections.

I see.

He has a hard timemaking friends.

Exactly.

So there you have it.

I-I think what my husband
and iare wondering is,why?

Why does he havea hard
time making friends?

Oh,who can say why anyonedoes anything?

you're supposed to,for 500 bucks.

- mike,let her finish.
- Oh,I'm done.

Let me tell you something.

brick isthe happiest kid I know.

Sure,he whispers to himself.

Sure,he showers sitting down.

maybe he licked the caronce or twice.

Hey,don't write that down!

I-I guess whatwe were wondering is...
is there somethingwe should be doing?

Well,what do you do now
to help him socialize?

I think--

Oh,you know... the usual.

I'd do a little morethan that.

So... should we be concerned?

I guess what I'd adviseis that yobe
concerned,but not overly concerned.

do what you canand hope for the best.

- That's it?
- That's it.

Not so badnow doesn't it
feel goodto have a plan?

so how'd the kid wholights
things on fire do?

that stupid counselor meeting
left us more confused than ever.

Why is everyone always trying to convince
you something's wrong with your kids?

What is wrong with you?
That is for the block party.

I can read. I'm not stupid.

we'll be the judge ofwhether
you're stupid or not.

Now,I know you own pants.

I'veseen them draped over
the tv. Go put 'em on.

oh,mom,are you going tothe booster
club thingat school on friday?

Well,I will if you want me
to. You sound like you do.

You know,that means so
much to me. oh,I miss you!

Chill. Gross. Thought
wetalked about this.

What happened to him?

I mean,he used to be so sweet.

Remember when he was 6 and
hemade me that clay giraffe?

Thank you for beingthe best mom ever.

Should've kept that.

so what are we gonna do?

- About which one
- the small one.

I don't know. Maybe we
didn'tdo enough for brick.

He's a third kid.

He's luckywe remember to feed him.

looking good,sue!

She's trying outfor ball girl.

Oh,I can't help thinkingit's my fault.

She didn't make anything else.

That's her fault--not yours.

no. We're on brick now.

Hard to keep track,isn't it?

I just feel likeI've slacked off.

I used to try to set
upplaydates for him,

but I ran through every
boyin the neighborhood.

I like juice.

You do?

Well,brick likes
juice,too,don't you,brick?

Look at that!
two juice-loving boys!

Your move.

Brick's catching up.
Going up the ladder...

good fun,huh,boys?

I like juice,too.

I hope you likemint chocolate chip...

brick,what are you doing?
You have a friend over.

I just want a little privacy.
That kid is weird. weird.

look,if you want,I can
help brick make friends.

But you knowwhat I'm gonna say.

- Don't say it.
- Sports!

There,I said it.

Hey,brick,get in here.

This is brickwe're talking
about. He's gonna suck!

Of coursehe's gonna suck,but it's still
the best wayfor a boy to make friends.

Hey,we're signing you up fora team.

What sport you like?

I like basketball.

See? He likes basketball.

That oughta be goodfor some friends.

- Or get him beat up.
- By his friends.

Unfortunately,I couldn't
make it to brick's first game

because it was the same
day as booster club.

I knew how important it was
to axl for me to be there,

and that made it important to me.

I had to suck up every scrap of
affection from him I could get.

Oh,yay,you're here!

barely. My bossthinks
I'm on a doughnut run.

Remind meto steal some
doughnutsfrom the teachers' lounge.

Oh,you can't,though.

The boys want to thank usfor raising
the moneyfor their new jerseys.

It's a whole thing.

it's a thing?

Oh,that's why axl wanted me to come.

- Um,isn't thisaxl heck's locker?
- that one.

come on,guys! Come on!

Okay,now get out there,play some
balland make some friends! Hustle!

Dad,why are you yelling?

Because that's the way we talkin sports.

- Go get 'em!
- Okay,dad!

all right! Good start!

Spalding. It says "spalding,"brick.

Don't read the ball!

we're okay,dad!

What? What are you doing?

Can you take meto a book
signing this weekend?

My favorite writeris going to be there.

What? Yeah,sure,whatever.
Just get back out there.

Get your handsout of your pockets.

Ketchup packets?

They'remy security
condiments. They soothe me.

You're playinga basketball game.
You're not supposed to besoothed.

Give me those things.

Get back in the game.
And make a friend,would ya?

So,uh,the guys just wanted
tdo something nice for you.***

Especially since you raised the money
to get usthese killer new jerseys,right?

and,uh,I-I knowit's not much,but...

mom,I want you to havemy old jersey.

Yeah,mom,you rock!

I'd like to give my jersey to
a special lady

who might not knowjust how special she is.

There it was.

I complain it's hard to get out
of work for the boosting and all,

but it's these little moments
that make it all worthwhile.

sophie,I thinkyou're really hot.

Keep smiling.

You can cry in the car.

Okay,so axl didn't give me his jersey.

It was no big deal.

it was a huge!DEAL

where's the $500 test to tell me how
I ended up with a clueless bonehead

who doesn't even know
how to thank his mother?

so... how'it go?

Good. It was a little loud,but
I got some reading done.

I don't get it,brick. You
said you liked basketbl.

I do like basketball.

I like all words with three syllables--

pineapple...hypnotize... lacerate...
this is fun.

I'm gonna go put on my
pajamasand make a list.

That's it. I'm out.

What--what--what do
you mean,you're out?

It was a disaster. It's
not that he was even bad.

- He was just...weird.
- damn it.

I was hoping itwas gonna be like
the u2 video where the odd kid

who sat on the bench the
whole time makesthe basket

and saves the gameand
everybody loves him.

Yeah,it wasn't like that.

- so what do we do now?
- I told you,I'm out.

I'm gonna work on somethingI
can understand--the lawnmower.

- You don't get to be out.
- I'm out.

You don't get to be out!

He w out-- out
hiding in the garage,

while I spent the week
avoiding my other son

who had lacerated my heart...until...

sue,what happenedto your face?

she was born that way.

Axl.

I didn't make ball girl.

Oh,I'm sorry,honey.

I got hit in the facewith a racket.

- Stupid.
- Axl.

No,not her. Me.

Stupid for giving my jerseyto sophie.

Oh,really? What do you mean?

She doesn't like me.

Oh,that's terrible.

Oh,that's awesome! Here was my opening.

I was gonna get that jersey,and I
was gonna get axl to give it to me.

So what happened?

I got hit when I ranutonto
the court to get the ball,

buthe pointwas still going on.

Oh,honey.

No,to the jersey,I mean.
Did ya,you know,get it back?

No.

After the guy hit me withhis racket,

he smashed into meand
knocked me into the net.

Oh,honey,thas horrible.

Don't you think you
shouldask her to give it back?

- You know,for closure?
- Nah,not worth it.

And after he knocked meinto the net,

my braces got stuckin the strings.

The nurses had to cut
me outwith nail scissors.

Oh,sweetheart!

Gosh,it soundslike it
just wasn't meant to be.

I don't know. I think you
mightwant to get it back.

It's your jersey,and it's very valuable.

There could be someone out
there who wants it very badly.

Wait.

You thinkI could sell it?

I'm out.

Turns out,mike didn't understand the
lawnmower any more than he understood brick.

What are you doing?

I'm looking for the manualso I can
put this damn thingback together again.

- Can I help?
- Uh,no,not really,buddy.

Whydon't you just go back to bed?

Okay. But your brake
padis in the wrong place.

- Mm,how you know that?
- I read the manual.

It goes onthe jackshaft pulley.

Pull the brake pad awayfrom the
jackshaft pulleyto install the drive belt.

See diagram "b" on page 32.

It had a smooshed bug on it.

- How do you do that?
- I remember everything I read.

Do you need to fixthe margarita maker?

I read the manualfor that,too.

No. no,let's just work on this.

The block party was finally here,and
my worries were melting away.

I don't know if it was 'cause mike
and brick fixed e lawnmower together,

or mike and brick
fixed thmargarita maker.

Who am I kidding? I knew.

I wasn't sure I was gonna
getthe whole thing back together,

and then brick here came inand just...

brick,tell 'emthe first line on page 26.

"To adjust shift levers,

stop engine and disconnectthe
adjuster nut fromthe shifter yoke.

" shifter yoke.

how about that,huh?

What's the last lineon page 50?

"Attach the cotter pinand
brake spring to the locknut

before installing it in
the brake lever assembly.

I couldn't believe it.

Brick was actually having a
conversation with the harrison boy and--

dare I say it--
making a friend.

- What's on page
- okay,I'm donetalking to you now.

Baby sps.

look at 'em over there--all
shrouded in their sons' love.

here's the thing,sophie.

We both know you don't
care about that jersey,

so why don't you give it to me?

And there's no hard feelings.

I can't do that.

Look,you don't intimidate me.

I was a cheerleader once.

I had spirit,yes,I did.

And now I'm justa cranky,tired
momwith nothing to lose.

I already gave it backto axl.

****Give it to someone else.

well,then. Never mind.

It was so niceto have met you.

- You're gonna mow my yard.
- You're gonna mow my yard.

- You're gonna mow my yard.
- You're gonna mow my yard.

In orson,indiana,that's
some serious trash-talking.

Gentlemen,start your mowers!

hear you gotyour jersey back.

I also heard you wantto
give it to somebody else.

Uh,yeah. Well?

I already gave it to her.

What? Her? You gave itto another girl?

Yeah,whatever.

Are you kidding me? ! What
is the matterwith you? !

I keep telling myself thatyou're still
that same kidwho gave methat clay giraffe,

but I don't think that
boy'sin there anymore.

I mean,how can you beso insensitive? !

Do you have any ideahow much I do foyou?

And when you get the chanceto give
me a little shout-out,what do you do?

You embarrass meinstead,and that
oh,that,mister,is what i think is lame.

Did I missmuch of the race?

What are you doingwith that?

Axl gave it to me.

What? !

Yeah,he said heelt badabout
me not making ball girl.

This is whyI didn't tell you!

Oh,thank god.

He was the same sweet kid who
had given me the clay giraffe.

He was currently hiding in the
shell of a hideous teenager,

but there was a glimmer he'd be back.

Mom!

I love you,too,honey.

- Can I have a wine cooler?
- No.

this block party was shaping
up to be the best one ever--

even better than the one
wherethe kids werout of town.

Looked like mike was finally
gonna beat jack meenahan...

or so we thought.

Brick,what the hellare you doing?

Dad,we gotta
go--the book signing.

What? What are youtalking about?

You said you'd take meto the book
signing,remember? At basketball?

Can you take meto a book
signing this weekend?

My favorite writeris going to be there.

What? Yeahsure,whatever.

You said,"yeah,ure,whatever.

"The bookstore closesin a half hour.

uh,brick,I'm kind ofin
the middle of a race re.

That's okay.

later,loser!

- hop on.
- Really?

We're going to the bookstore!

Shouldn't we take the car?
Nah. I know a shortcut.

That's the thing
about brick--

he's always gonna go down his own path.

Instead of fighting it,mike
decided to meet brick on his terms

and just veered right off
the path there with him.

I guess that counselor
wasn't so wrong after all.

When icomes to your kids,

all you can really do is be
concerned,but not overly concerned.

Do what you can and hope for the best.

Dad,you're going
throughthe meenahans' yard.

It's okay. I'm gonnahave
to mow it anyway.

hey,maybe I could sneak
into her drawer later

when she's sleeping and get that jersey.

Eh,I don't know.