Original subtitles

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I'm here for the princess.

Without weapons?

Bitch, I am the weapon.

Is that right?

Oh, Robertico.

Robertico!

Sorry, hon.

I'll be black.

Bro, how long do you plan to stay in that wet country? Come to Curaçao.

That with Noella is over and done. In the past, water under the bridge.

Hey, I'm alone on the beach here with 54 lovely ladies.

And I have only two hands, so get over here. You're going to thank me.

So I told that Turkish butcher:

'Should give me a discount on that shitty meat of yours.

Can't imagine why I'm still buying here, you filthy freeloader.

Maybe this goes in Afghanistan or whatever the capital of Turkey is.

But if we're honest, this entire bloody shop of yours...

is all paid for with my tax money.'

Started moaning, this guy. Called his son over.

Bleating on about halal meat.

So I said: 'I know you nicked it. Won't have come by it honestly.

And yet you have the gall to charge these prices? Daylight robbery.'

Good day to you, ladies.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Just jump over that railing. Put an end to your misery. And ours.

Sorry, I need to get to work. - Hear that? Work?

You've never done any honest work. Community service doesn't count.

I've never seen you go anywhere.

I need to keep an eye on you.

If it wasn't for us, you'd have stolen the lot here.

Career criminal. - Have a nice day.

The whole country's going down the drain. Wankhammer.

Holy shit. - What, what?

Calm down. - What?

Holy, I'd almost topped you.

You gave me such a fright.

Hang on. We haven't...? - We certainly have.

Donny, we did it all.

I knew white boys were naughty.

But you? You are downright dirty.

I gave you my black rose yesterday and you humped it hard, 7 times.

That's impossible. - I couldn't believe it either.

It was your dream come true: To be in bed with Judeska.

My worst nightmare. - What was that?

Hello, you were not that good. Vexatious.

Not good? I'm Tony. Tony fuckin' Junior.

And every woman knows: Mi piace la figa rasata.

Coño, what are you blabbing about? Cut the crap, Berlusconi.

My lips down below don't want Italian. They want Arabic.

I'm taking a shower and after that I'm expecting my main dish. So scoot.

Your main dish? - Did no one tell you?

You're just my starter. My main dish is John Williams.

My desert is also a blast. Badr Hari.

Bye now. When I'm done, you're gone.

Double Date Deal.

Double Date Deal. - No thanks.

Double Date...

Double Date Deal. Super yummy.

Double Date Deal. - Weirdo.

Double Date Deal. Double...

Double Date Deal. Double Date, for you.

Oh, Ram Ram. How can you already be here?

Where are the flyers? You threw them away?

Now nobody is going to come to see my pretty heart.

You want to destroy my reputation. Afraid to put in the work.

Hello, this spot is just for people with handicaps.

What kind of an opportunist are you? Shame on you.

One thing I really can't stand is people with antisocialism.

I'm so sorry.

Auntie? - Shh.

You want to destroy me, but I shall overcome.

You're all going back to jungle jungle land, the lot of you.

Why, I ask you. Why?

Always the same faces at the NY Fashion Show.

Don't they get tired of Kim Kardashian, or Kylie Jenner?

You know what there's missing? - Ma'am?

Judeska. 'Ladies and gentlemens, here is Judeska!'

And the crowd goes 'whaaaaaahhhh!!!' - Ma'am?

What do you want?

We'd like the Double Date Deal.

But with tofu instead of chicken.

And quinoa instead of fries.

And can you do the milkshake with soy milk?

Listen Frodo, you're in a chicken restaurant.

We have chicken that's chicken and milkshakes that are milkshakes.

Soy milk! Ever seen a soy bean with udders?

Ever seen a soybean that looked at you and said: Mooooooh?

Did you?

Vexatious!

What about the rolls? Do they have gluten?

What about the rolls? What about the rolls?

Read the menu. We have pickles, we have tomato and we have onions.

Kofi, this scarecrow here wants to know if we have...

Gluten. - Glutin.

Gluten. - Right. Don't mumble.

So. A roll with gluten.

We don't serve gluten with our rolls. - Told you. We're out.

What's up, Robertico? You seem sad.

It's nothing. Is my order done so I can go?

You're still thinking about her, right? You should stop that.

You have to let go of things.

Judeska.

Judeska.

Hey, hello. Coño, wake up. Where are the Double Date napkins?

The head office forgot to send them.

Do I really need to do everything myself around here?

Ma'am, I sincerely hope your chickens are not battery chickens...

but good free-range chickens.

People like you must realise that you cannot go on taking from our planet.

People like me?

Do you realise your clothes are made by little kids in India?

And the lipstick you put on so lavishly...

is most likely tested on monkeys?

What did you say? My lipstick is for monkeys?

No. No, that's not what he meant.

We are woke.

How would you explain? - Awake.

We see the world for what it is.

So you see the world?

Now you see birdies.

Here I come, with eco chickens.

What's this? These are live chickens. We ordered veggie burgers.

You know, this is vegetarian chicken. They only eat glass.

Glass? - Gleen glass.

They're vegetarian chickens.

Get them out of here. If the RSPCA sees this, we're in trouble.

Before you know it, I'll be deported.

Kofi, no problem. Look, I have everything you need.

Passport, credit card. Certificate of good conduct.

Hey Nolti, you like Marco?

You like Marco? - What?

Marco Borsato?

He has a major concert today.

A big show at the Gelredome.

He's back with Leontien.

Tickets for you: 200 euros. - 150.

250. - 225.

300. - Sold.

Deal.

Hot off the press.

Hey, Autumn. Hello?

When you're done fluttering, could you close the door?

My pussy's catching a cold.

Vexatious.

A very good afternoon to you. Can you get us the Double Date Deal?

Kofi, do me a Double Date Deal for Sjors and Sjimmie here.

Do you know where we might reach the owner?

Why? Are you looking for a job?

We sell chicks here, we don't hire them.

Let me take some pictures.

That'll be 49.95. - Sorry, but isn't that a bit much?

9.95 for the Double Date and 40 euros for the photos.

But if you make it 100, I will send you a few extra pics.

Via Snapchat.

Don't bother. Here's 50 euros. Have a nice day.

Let's go.

Already picked your coffin? - Why? It's just a cold.

Just a cold, he says. Just a cold.

You sound like you only have three months left.

I'll have seven cartons. - Seven?

I'm cutting down. Don't want to end up like you.

I'm down to one carton a day.

What's that shit there?

Cruise Scratch. - What?

You can win a cruise. For 5 euro.

Why not? Maybe I'll get my money's worth.

Taxman's bleeding me dry. Here we go. Fingers crossed.

Nothing. - No, of course not.

Nothing. - No.

And...You don't say! Flippin' hell. I've won a cruise.

Good afternoon. How may I help you?

I'm here to see Zoë van Straalen. Is she in?

How may I help you? - Good afternoon.

Is Zoë van Straalen in?

Mr de Vries has a Daddy day. He's back tomorrow.

No, I'm here to see Zoë...

Best to email him. Do you have his address?

But... This is... - How may I help you?

How may I help you? - I see...

How may I help you? Sir? Hello.

Zoë! Ms Van Straalen.

I found your folder. You left it. - How did you get this?

I thought it might be important, so I brought it over.

You have no idea. This is three weeks of due diligence.

Yeah, do... - Saves me a lot of work.

Zoë, we have a meeting now. - Daniel, this is...

Oh, Robertico. Robertico Florentina. - Daniel Zuyderwijck.

Mr Florentina found my folder and brought it back.

Thanks for that.

Do you work at F.C. Kip?

Yeah, I do all due things there. So that everything runs smoothly.

Do you happen to know who owns F.C. Kip?

Sure. I know him very well. We are super close.

We've been looking for him for some time.

It's a complex legal construct.

The due diligence shows the holding operates via Jersey and the Caymans

and offshore on Curaçao.

So if you know how we can get in touch with who owns it...

that would make me super happy.

I think the owner is super glad you found him.

How do you know? - It's you.

Excuse me? - You're the owner of F.C. Kip.

You guys are sharp. - Are you the owner?

Sure. I am the owner of F.C. Kip. - Guys!

We found him. Right here. We found him.

The owner of F.C. Kip.

Me. The owner of F.C. Kip.

Bro, what should I do? I said I was the owner.

Bro, relax. You are who you are.

You should have seen her. So pretty. A lawyer. I got carried away.

Just stick to the story that you're the boss.

Rich and pretty lawyers don't do it with low-life delivery boys. Come on.

Do as I do.

You know? - Hey.

What are you doing with my daughter?

He's the guy who rents out those fake bungalows.

Bungalows? I thought you were a film producer.

I'll see you tonight, dushi. You have the part.

Dad! I have the part!

Norwin? Shit.

Let me guess. She was even uglier up close.

Auntie... - She is mental anyway.

She was cross-eyed. Cyclops, cyclops.

Good riddance. Too ugly.

It's Zoë.

Hey, that's quick.

Sure. I can make it.

What's the address?

Hilligersberg? Sure I do.

I know where it is. I go there all the time with deliveries.

I have stuff delivered there to my customers.

Okay, I'll see you there. Excellent.

Coño, talk to me. What did she say?

She's having a BBQ. She invited me. To her parents' house.

She wants to get to know me. - I told you. Mental.

It's tonight. What should I wear? She's a lawyer.

She's a lawyer called Zoë and she lives at Hilligersberg?

Coño, she's 100% adopted.

Better bring something white people like to eat.

Russian salad

Hello?

Hello?

Hello, Mrs Van Straalen. Nice to meet you.

Robertico Florentina. Thank you for inviting me to your home for the BBQ.

The first time I saw Zoë, I said to myself:

She's so charming. Wonder where she gets it from.

And I walk in here and I look at you...

and I'm thinking, yes, that's where she gets it from.

Oh, here you go. Could you take that to the kitchen, please? Thank you.

Did I say how lovely your home is?

That can only be achieved by someone with good taste.

This is Martha. Our housekeeper.

She only speaks Polish. No Dutch.

She is Polish?

So then you are the mother.

Of course you are.

Mama. You can tell.

You are Zoë's mother. I knew instantly.

Because Zoë is not a....

Can you take this to the kitchen?

Put it on the plate. Don't plaster the walls with it.

They plaster everything...

That's a Polish joke.

Is Zoë in?

Hey, Robertico. You've already met my mum, I see.

So glad you could come. - Thanks for having me. Nice house.

Dad? This is the owner of F.C. Kip.

Hello, sir. - So you're the chicken king.

I am.

Joachim van Straalen. - Robertico Florentina. How do you do?

What?

Robertico Florentina, sir.

Florentina? From Curaçao? - Yes, sir.

Really?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have an Anitllean here who is on time.

Dad! - You're all right, son.

But how can you think...

Antilleans know more about chicken than the Surinamese?

We're fed chicken in our baby bottles.

Sir, with all due respect: We already eat chicken in the womb.

Our sperm is made of chicken.

I didn't know your dad was so funny. - Here, taste this.

That's really good. - Told you so.

Wait, sir. Listen. - What now?

You can't go out without a coat. This needs a coat.

There. Coat's ready. Go ahead and taste it.

You don't understand Surinamese? - No. Sorry, sir.

I went to market and saw a chicken with seven children.

One with long legs.

One with a big beak.

One with a fat butt and that's the one I grabbed.

Your parents are great. Especially your dad.

That man is just... He's so funny.

He won't let up about how good your sauce is.

Sorry.

It's nice to see how proud he is of you.

And rightly so.

I may become a partner in the firm.

Imagine what he'll say. - Partner? You don't say. Really?

Wow. Look at you go.

Playing with the big boys. - Yup.

You know all about that, of course.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I am. One of the big boys.

Big fat chickens, all day long.

I'll see you soon.

Really?

Why don't you stop by the office tomorrow?

Sure.

See you tomorrow.

Hello, are you camping out here? Let me pass.

Is she mad?

It's like a bloody market place. - Here comes the witch.

Hello, baklava.

If you speak Dutch, we can all have a laugh.

And laugh we will.

I'm going on a trip and I understand you can sew this together?

Ma'am, we can sew anything.

I sew. My brother sews.

Big sewer, me.

People always asking, please. Please Ahmet, you sew me.

Sometimes I dead tired.

But I sew. Customer is king, ma'am.

When I sew, everybody very happy.

I sew quick and fast.

So people say, Ahmet...

How long will you jabber on?

Do I have to listen to all episodes of Lord of the Turks? Bloody hell.

It's a simple question. Can you sew this or not?

What is this? - Listen, Ataturk.

Use your eyes. It's a bikini, isn't that obvious?

Ma'am. No can do, ma'am. This is too revealing. It's haram.

Oh, I get it. It's too revealing. Giving you funny thoughts, is it?

Squirting your garlic sauce on my döner meat.

That's what you want? 1001-nighting with me?

Ain't gonna happen. Keep on dreaming in that sandcastle of yours.

Just get a move on. - But how? How, ma'am?

Get a move on. On your flying carpet.

Done. Feast your eyes.

You won't get this from Fatima or Khadija Arib.

I'm having a heart attack.

Call an ambulance, I'm dying. I'm dying.

How may I help you?

Sir? Hello, sir? How may I help you?

Robertico Florentina. You shouldn't have. How sweet.

But... - No, I get who they're for.

Good to see you. Let me show you round.

That's Litigations, that's Civil Law and we're through there.

Look who's there. I'll be right back.

Hey. - Hey.

Are those for me? - To thank you for a great night.

Yes, it was great. And good of you to come in today.

Sure.

I think it's important to be honest with you.

I invited you yesterday for a reason. - Okay.

We want to buy F.C. Kip.

From whom? - From you.

You're joking. You don't really want to buy F.C. Kip from me. Right?

Welcome to the big boys. Make yourself comfortable.

Just a minute. Time out, all right? Just to be clear.

Who wants to buy what from whom?

Our client Wicked Chicken wants to buy F.C. Kip from you.

Robertico, that you just walked in after all this time was a miracle.

Wicked Chicken wants to make F.C. Kip its first European franchise.

So what do we do? Do we close the deal or not?

Robertico? - Yes. Let's do it.

Let's just close the deal.

Now we're talking. Who is your representative?

Sorry, what? - Who's your lawyer?

Norwin. Of Norwin. And Norwin & Norwin. And sons.

They're in Curaçao. - Funny. I have a house there.

Mail me their contact details and I'll draw up the forms.

Also, I'll set up a meeting with the owner.

Plus, your crew gets a tour of the Wicked Chicken training facility.

And I'll book us two rooms in The Grand.

Wait. Do I need to come with?

This is going so fast. I don't think that's good.

Wicked Chicken insists we all come. The tickets have been bought.

Tickets?

Where is this facility exactly?

Don't touch. It's kangaroo leather, from Turkey.

I need help. A business class ticket to New York.

That's very expensive.

You have to help me. I have no money.

You so funny. You want business class ticket, but no money.

I also need a hotel suite. I really need you.

Right. Business class ticket, hotel suite. But no money.

They think I'm the boss. You must help me. It's important.

Important? - Really important.

My friend, listen. Ping Ping is going to help you.

You do small thing for me, I do big thing for you.

Free. For big boss.

Wicked Chicken.

Here we go. Wicked Chicken.

Is that your stuff? Are you alone in the world?

I swear, I really hate people who have no consideration for others.

I swear. - Hey.

Here we go. Wicked Chicken.

A dream come true. I'm going to the promised land.

And maybe meet the president. He'll say, 'Hello, Rajesh.'

And I'll say, 'Hello, Mr President.' We'll say hello.

He'll say, 'Rajesh, I need a manager for my kitchen in the White House.'

He'll say, 'The job is yours.' - What job?

The only job you'll get is that of cab driver.

Cab driver? You talking to me? - Nobody talks to you. Vexatious.

I'm talking to you. - Don't know what's up with you.

The only one getting a manager today is me.

Judeska is going to make it big in New York.

a week earlier

I'm going to New York to be the star of the Fashion Show.

See that mug?

Her face. Looks like a donkey's arse.

You, Ibrahim Tatlises. Shut your trap, dickface.

Focus. I need a dress for the catwalk.

Catcall?

Bro, what's with this country?

All these catcalls.

Ankara, no catcalls. Istanbul, no catcalls.

Bodrum, no catcalls.

Wat my brother says. No catcalls.

But lots of couscous and kebab.

I don't know what your point is, but focus on my lips:

I need a dress for the catwalk.

No problem. I will make for you very pretty dress...

for catcalls.

Waterproof.

Take a picture. Here I come.

Ma'am, could you please stop walking up and down the aisle?

Who are you talking to?

I want to write in my diary in peace.

Listen, Anne Frank. I'm warning you.

I'm on holiday and I want some peace.

You want peace? - Yes.

I want peace.

Rest in peace. Vexatious.

Robertico, where are you? We're about to leave.

I'm sorry, but I'm really ill. My temperature is 298.

That sounds like you're dying, Robertico.

Go to the hospital. - Gimme, gimme.

Listen, I don't trust you in my house.

Touch nothing. If you move a hair, I'll stab you in the neck. Twice.

And stay away from my nightstand. - Why?

Why? Just do it, and you'll know why. Do it and smell your fingers.

Sir, we watch things using our...?

That's right.

Hey, waiter. Come here.

Ma'am? - This thing is broken.

It's broken? - It won't slide back.

It won't slide back? - Are you on repeat?

The chair won't go flat.

That's right. Only the chairs in business class go full flat.

Like at the dentist's, without the dentist.

You can do it too. Just press the buttons and you can go flat out.

Your first time in business class?

Me? No, not at all.

I fly... I fly business all the time.

I thought, for you. You don't seem like someone who flies business...

Hello, sir. What can I get you?

A toastie. Do you have a toastie?

A toastie? I'm afraid that's not on our menu.

I can, however, recommend the caviar blinis.

Caviar?

Did you hear what the conductor just said?

What's next? Champagne?

Pretending they have them Michel stars?

We have a choice of three champaigns.

Hi, Robertico. - Hey.

Bring me your most expensive champaign.

Hold the bubbles.

Christ, shiver me nipples. Look at that. It's the bleedin' Titanic.

You should count yourself so lucky I'm paying for you.

No need to mention it.

This is going to be great. Free of foreigners for a few days.

Oh, hello. - Ma'am?

Gerrie van Vliet. And I'm bringing my neighbour.

I'm paying for her. So no need to charge her.

All expenses are on me. - How nice.

Treat yourselves to a drink at the bar.

Naturally. Paid enough for it.

Away, neighbour. We must get out of here.

Code black. - Excuse me?

Code black! - Sorry, I don't understand?

They inflected the organisation.

I don't know what you mean.

The Pirates of the Caribbean.

Johnny Depp.

Hello? Them pirates?

Oh, for crying out loud, man. Are you blind?

Get on the phone and call the police.

Look! They'll hurt us. - No, ma'am. That's the captain.

What did he just say? The captain?

Good afternoon, ladies. Welcome aboard my ship.

On my ship, he says.

Listen here, Captain Iglo. - Ma'am!

You're not sailing me to Paramaribo on this here boat.

Luring me to a cabin and trying funny stuff with me.

What are you talking about?

You're not getting any of my roast beef.

This one here's a different story. She's been involved with lover boys.

Try it on with her and you'll get a tsunami. But not from me.

Let's go before he tries anything.

You had a hip operation. You're too fragile. Come on.

Sir?

Oh, right. Of course.

Just a moment. Let me...

I only have a fifty.

You don't have to pay here.

No, of course not.

But when I fly business, which I do all the time...

I always like to tip. Although I don't need to.

It's not needed. - It isn't.

But it is very kind of you.

Thank you. - Hello.

What are you doing here? - Hello, I'm Ling Ling.

I'm Robertico's secretary. - I didn't know you were bringing her?

Nice to meet you, Beyoncé.

This is my big boss. He's always busy.

So tense. He shouldn't stress so much.

Nice to have someone who looks out for you.

He makes mess. I have to suck it all up.

With my vacuum cleaner.

I'm going back to my seat. See you later.

See you. I need to have a chat with my secretary.

What are you doing here?

Robertico. It is me. Ping Ping. - I can see that. Why are you here?

My friend, we're doing a job. Quid pro quo. Remember?

Hey, girlie. Do we have the same hairdresser?

I have everything. I'm out of here. - Judeska, where are you going?

Hello, I need to get my nails done. And buy new heels.

Why in the name of Shiva do you need heels?

For the Fashion Show. Hello, why do you think we're here?

Oh, no. No, no. We're here to work.

We're off to work at Wicked Chicken.

Hey Mango Chutney, you're off to work for Wicked Chicken.

You really think I flew eight hours to go and fry chicken?

I don't think so. Kawasaki to you.

Judeska, wait for us.

Sure, just leave. You always run away from difficulties.

Amidar Badjar always says:

You won't cross the sea by staring at the water.

So bad. Running off like that. So mean.

Oh, look. It's that green woman with the torch.

Cool. I'm taking pictures of everything.

This is the seventh dick pic he sent. What does Tony want from me?

Show me? Wow, that's one big cobra.

I didn't know white men could be so...

Give me that. Rude.

Are you comfy? You too, girl?

Big boss likes limousines.

Always limos. Isn't that right, big boss?

I say. - Yeah, that's me. Always.

Won't travel unless there's a limo.

That's right. Big boss has very big limousine.

Let me get a whiff of New York.

Hello, New York.

I need to eat. I'm starting to hear things.

Thank you, hotdog boy.

See that ugly giraffe? That's Robin Hollister.

Do you know her? - No.

But I do know her bodyguard.

Better than you think.

Thanks. I'll tell him.

Wicked Chicken only collected one person at the airport.

Weren't you bringing four?

Uhm... I'll get it sorted. I'll make a call.

Something must have gone wrong.

Maybe they were hungry and went shopping. That must be it.

When you fly economy, they barely feed you.

I wouldn't know, because I always fly business.

But people who fly economy always tell me...

that they barely get any food.

Welcome, Mr Florentina, in the building.

Who's in the building? Florentina.

What's up, New York?

I'm coming, I'm coming. I was just...

I mean, hey. Hey, Zoë.

I was just lathering on some soap.

I came to say they're expecting us tonight. In the Sky Bar.

The Sky Bar?

Colonel Parker invited us for drinks at his hotel.

Oh! I mean, nice. Okay.

Would you have preferred a pool party?

No, no pool party.

I'll see you later. - Yeah, see you.

Pardon me. Move aside.

Gargamel, out of my way. Scoot, ma'am.

You've had more than your share.

Right. People always say you have to mind your weight.

That's why I only take small portions. Not too much.

Watch out. Hey, you. Own people first.

Hey ladies, why so hostile?

What's your problem? I'll get it sorted.

You're not sorting shit. Get your face out of here, you wankhammer.

Is that right? You know what? We should blow off some steam.

This black choo choo train is on a roll.

Ready to plough your track.

Pull my lever and I'll change track, too.

Tell me, which of you lovely ladies would like to board first?

Hey Stevie Wonder, we're trying to get some grub here...

and your nattering is a big distraction.

Ay ay ay, ladies. I understand your disappointment.

The sausages here are very much on the small side

But if you follow me down to room 112...

you'll find a very different kind of buffet.

With much fatter and juicier sausages, if you know what I mean.

Let's go. I've lost my appetite. - That's a shame.

No chugga-chugga. What a pity.

Judeska, you'll never get in.

They might even call the FBI or the CIA.

Or the NBA?

Bingo. There he is.

He's going to let us in. I know it.

Guys, the cases. Let's go.

Isn't this a wonderful place? - Yes, it's amazing.

Are you ready to meet one of the richest men in America?

Colonel Parker.

Your name.

Move aside. Come on.

Julius!

I'm here for Julius.

Julius, talk to Kung Fu Panda here. He won't let me in.

What are you doing here? I have a restraining order against you.

Hello, that was the Netherlands. We're in New York now.

You should be saying, 'Hello, how are you, Judeska?'

Julius? What's going on?

Judeska, pleased to meet you. Holland's next top model.

Are you in plus sizes? I've not seen you around.

Julius has seen me loads of times. On film. Loads.

Films I still have. So let me in. - Absolutely not.

Okay, then I'll put everything on Instagram Stories.

And I mean everything. So go on inside. Just go.

I'll get in anyhow.

You mean bread.

He's talking about our rolls. About bread.

We use rolls and we cut them down the middle.

He means: What kind of chickens do you use?

What kind of chickens do you breed? - Oh.

I'll explain.

No, Daniel knows something is amiss.

Bro, I can see it in his eyes. How he looks at me. What do I do?

When do you sign the contract? - Tomorrow.

I'm going to tell Zoë the truth. - No, don't. You'll lose her for sure.

Then what do I do? What? - No worries, bro. I'll come to you.

It's time for Norwin, Norwin & Norwin to come pay a visit.

I already told you, Mr CSI.

A very nice guy let me in through the backdoor.

Madam, you have to get out of here. - Shut up. Vexatious!

Everybody was super nice.

Wouldn't you like to know, detective Nick?

With your giant...

Everybody loved Judeska.

Yes, I am. But Robin was jealous.

Listen. You wanna know the truth, Dirty Nick?

Everyone, literally everyone, wants to taste these juicy lips.

Are you sure?

You don't want more? - No, I don't.

Are you sure? - Very sure.

Do you guys know stomach speaker?

Help.

Nice piece of ass. - I could be your mother, you idiot.

You can stop making friends. Let them go. We're off.

Call me, detective Nick.

Oh, what's keeping them?

Oh, I'm so nervous, I can't stand it.

That'll be them now.

Oh, come on. Handle it.

Hello, what kept you so long?

You almost ruined my American Dream.

We're starting. Get changed. Chop, chop. Inside, quick.

Hey. - Hey.

I've come to go over things once more before our the meeting.

Okay. Here, you mean? - Yes.

Okay. Fine.

Uhm... Zoë, I... - Here. The draft contract.

You haven't got it from me, but they'll offer you two million.

Two million?

I thought it was a bit meagre. Daniel says they'll go up to four.

Four million? - Too little?

Zoë, I have a confession to make.

I... - I like you, too.

A lot. Too much.

Sorry, I shouldn't have. You're a client.

I can't fall in love with you. - Love?

Are you in love with me?

But, Zoë... - No, wait.

Me first, or I'll lose my courage. - Zoë, I have to tell you. I'm not...

Good morning, big boss. Are you ready to go? Hurry, hurry.

Sorry, where to?

Did you forget? A deal's a deal. Small job.

A job? We're meeting Wicked Chicken.

Yes, I know. No worries. I'll be back in time.

Hello? Hurry. - I'm coming.

How long will this job take? I need to talk to Zoë.

As long as my arm. So not so long.

It'll be over in no time. Pop, pop.

Norwin. - Robertico.

How much are they offering you? - Four million. Why?

We'll ask for double that.

Double that? And then what? - Then what?

Then they'll back out and you can calmly tell Zoë what the deal is.

Bro, I hope this works. I'll see you at the signing.

Yeah. Thanks, man.

What are we doing here? - You ready for business? Let's go.

Look at him. Completely brainstormed. Idiot.

Oh, you see that cap? I want that cap, I'll get that cap.

You won't stop me getting that cap. You won't ruin my reputation.

I'll get that cap, if it's the last thing I do.

What's keeping that chicken farmer? - I can't reach him.

Maybe something happened? Why don't we get started?

I promised Parker to have F.C. Kip's owner here.

With his legal advisor. I've seen neither.

Without them, no deal.

I thought you had it under control. I was wrong.

Robertico, are you ready for the show?

What exactly are we performing here?

We're putting on a show for the big boss.

Yeah! Are you ready to rumble, my brother? Let's go.

That guy looks like me. - He's black, too. No worries.

Maybe he's family? No time to stop now.

Look here, a fantastic stage awaits you.

Oh, no. I'm leaving. - You're staying.

I gave you everything: Business class ticket, a limo.

All for free.

See that guy over there?

He'll shoot a free bullet in your head.

I never agreed to this.

A deal is a deal. Or do you have a death wish?

I don't even know how to fight. - Sure you do. You're Muhammad Ali.

Eight million?

Are those chicken burgers studded with blood diamonds?

No? - No.

Not interested?

Daudi.

Give him hell. - He's Russian. Is he Russian?

Bonjour.

Hey Daudi, you must hit him.

Hit him! - Come on, let's go.

Oww.

I want out. - No, you must keep going.

Hi, I'm Zoë van Straalen. One of the lawyers on the F.C. Kip deal.

You're in New York, right?

Currently, I'm in hell. What do you want?

Have you heard from your boss? - I don't know who that is.

If I find out, I'll stab him in the neck. Twice. Vexatious.

Surely you know the boss? Robertico Florentina. That nice young man.

The boss? Robertico? He's our delivery boy. The boss? You wish.

Your delivery boy?

One hundred, two hundred, three hundred...

Hello, Auntie. - Don't you 'hello, Auntie' me.

I sure hope you have good insurance.

Next time I see you, I'll break all your bones.

Mr Bossman.

Oh, and that lawyer girl is looking for you. Loser.

Zoë?

Zoë?

You're a delivery boy? - No.

Yes, I am.

Why couldn't you have been honest?

Zoë, I meant to tell you.

I don't listen to liars.

Zoë...

Zoë?

You're all fired. - He grabbed me.

Don't you touch my body, mister.

Vexatious.

Just wait till I... - Stay calm.

No worries. I'm cool.

All my life I've had to fight.

I've had to fight in secondary school.

I've had to fight in kindergarten.

But I never thought I'd have to fight in my own workplace.

I will never forgive you lot for what you did to me.

Because of you, I can no longer become...

the manager of the President's kitchen.

Rajesh, you're giving me a headache. We can do this ourselves, man.

We always did it all at F.C. Kip.

Orders? Did them ourselves.

Administration? Did it ourselves.

Cleaning? Did it our... No, that was more you.

But you get my point.

We don't need Wicked Chicken. Screw them.

We're doing it ourselves. Let's go home.

Wait. Are you trying to say that I, Rajesh...

may become kitchen manager somewhere?

What? With that face? Not a chance.

Kofi, give me my tablets.

I hope there's some cash left, because I want to play.

What's up today? - This table is by invitation only.

Please find another one.

Leave me the flippin' hell alone, Ebola face.

By invitation? Rubbish.

If I want to sit next to the captain, I will sit next to the captain.

It's my Dutch human right. Bugger off.

Ma'am. - That's no way to treat our guests.

Piss off. With your fuckface.

Ma'am? - Yes, what?

On behalf of myself and my entire staff...

I offer you sincere apologies for how you've been treated.

See? They are able to think.

I'm finally getting what I deserve.

There you go. This fully reimburses you.

What's this? - For your scratch card.

What... What scratch card?

The scratch card that won you this entire trip.

You nasty piece of work.

So you paid for nothing. You won it all.

Neighbour, listen.

Neighbour, they're lying. They're lying.

They're pirates. They...

I... I had...

I'm sorry, Daniel.

For what?

That the deal's now off.

That I jeopardised our partnership.

I really developed a blind spot. So stupid.

As far as I'm concerned, you can still become partner.

I'd planned a short stay on Curaçao after signing the contract.

Might be good for us: A few days rest before we go back to work.

We can discuss your partnership there. What do you say?

Enjoying the weather, the food. Some swimming.

Coming back to yourself. How does that sound?

Hey Zoë, I want to explain.

Two years ago, the love of my life left me.

For two years, I went through life as a zombie.

I was lost. Delivering chicken? I didn't care what I did.

All that changed when you walked in and left your papers.

I saw you and I thought: I have just one chance to impress her.

And I ruined it by lying.

By pretending to be someone I'm not.

I really wanted to own up, but things kept getting in the way.

Maybe I just didn't dare.

I can't tell you how sorry I am.

I hope that, in spite of everything, when we see each other, we can talk.

That you'll give me a second chance.

Maybe you won't even hear this, but if you do: I'm sorry.

Here. Still working?

Just my messages.

I think you would do well to just be rid of that phone.

To enjoy the here and now.

The view, the sunshine, your cocktail.

To us.

Oh, no.

Oh, Ram Ram. We've all been fired.

Because we all left. We're all bankrupt now.

This wasn't mean to happen.

Shiva, why did I have to lose this, too?

Who do you think you are? Thinking you can boss me around.

Thinking you can boss me around?

You're so lucky we're family.

Else I would have stabbed you in the neck 17 times. At least.

I was trying to impress her.

I swear, I knew you were retarded.

But I honestly think only abortion can save you now.

Hey, listen to me. You should always choose love.

Amidar Badjar always chooses love in his films.

I can still hear him sing.

Oh bugger off, Chimichurri.

Listen, about proposing you as a partner...

Yes. How will we go about that?

Well, of course you messed up badly with that Wicked Chicken deal.

I'm not sure I can retain them as a client. So...

So, what?

So, Zoë, I figured you'd understand that I won't simply make you partner.

You can make it up to me.

By doing me some favours, with that pretty face of yours.

It's Zoë.

Robertico, you must help me. I'm on Curaçao.

What are you doing on Curaçao?

I went with Daniel, but he's acting super creepy.

Hang up the phone.

Zoë...?

Zoë?

Zoë, what the...

My phone's almost dead.

Zoë!

Hey, little lady. I've got a job for you.

Zoë's on Curaçao. Daniel kidnapped her. I must go save her.

Can one of you lend me money for a ticket?

Just you wait. I'll call the bank. We need to look out for each other.

Hello? Yes. Judeska speaking.

I have them on the phone now.

I'd like to withdraw 100,000 euros from my account.

What?

They're saying it's gone. Because I was fired.

With your grave digger face.

Ping Ping's here. But oh my, why are you looking so sad?

Did someone die? Erectile problems?

Ping Ping, listen. Daniel kidnapped Zoë.

I must go to Curaçao. Can I please borrow money for a ticket?

You want to borrow money from Ping Ping? For a ticket?

I'll give you a plane. - A plane?

A plane. Ping Ping Airlines.

Ping Ping? - What's up?

How much did you bet on me? - How much money?

I put all my money on you losing. So I won big time.

How could you be so sure I'd lose?

Robertico, you are so funny, my man. You should be in comedy.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen.

30 seconds till jumping time.

Okay babies, are you ready to fly?

I'm the man up in this piece! I run this shit. You just live here.

King Kong ain't got shit on me. - Oh no, Nolti.

Don't so this, Nolti. - I'm winning anyway!

Curaçao, here we come.

If I jump, I might end up on the wrong border.

You're not getting any uglier. Jump!

Come to Daddy.

Oh, flippin' bloody hell. My back. My back.

We'll flatten you. You're going down.

Ping Ping, how did you manage this?

There's nothing I can't do, my friend.

Auntie! - Speed it up, Robertico.

We're going to get him.

You guys always get me into trouble.

Everyone's mother!

I'm taking you out, dumdum.

Oh, don't shoot.

I'll shoot you to pieces.

Hey, anyone know how this thing works?

Don't, Nolti. It's dangerous.

Guys, shouldn't we tone it down a little?

My ear is ringing. I can't hear a thing.

Noooooo! Zoë!

I'm so sorry, darling. Zoë, why?

Robertico. - I can hear her in my head.

Robertico, I'm right behind you.

I'm right behind you, too. I will always have your back.

For ever? - For ever and ever, Zoë.

Couldn't you have said so sooner?

Zoë! What...?

Guys! Zoë!

Zoë!

You're alive.

Look, there goes Daniel.

No, please. Help me.

Now he really is mine.

Help. - What was that?

You want help?

Please, I'll do anything. I'll make you rich.

Anything you want. You can be rid of those losers.

What did you say? What? I'll help you.

Because those losers happen to be my losers.

Vexatious. Fuckface.

two months later

I'm not singing, but I've got something else for you.

People, today's the day.

Today is the day we officially became our own bosses.

For real! I can hardly believe it.

Kofi, Nolti, Robertico.

Rajesh. Where's Rajesh? - I'm right here.

We are our own bosses.

Also thanks to our financier Ping Ping.

I'm so emotional. F.C. Kip Curaçao is a fact.

Robertico, are you integrating here, too?

Sure. We all need to learn Papiamento.

Rajesh.

From today, you are our floor manager.

I can feel it.

I can feel the power of the red cap.

You're a plumber, right? - Sure am, lady.

I have a leaky pipe.

No worries, I'll plug it up for you.