All language subtitles for 15.Things.You.Didnt.Know.About.Bigfoot.0000.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[journalist] Every journalist
is searching for that one story.

The one that defines them,
the one that actually makes a difference.

This is my story, and like
most of the good ones,

it's not the one
I set out to tell.

[hip-hop music]

So we're here outside of Lil
Soundcloud's place in Atlanta, Georgia.

He bought the house across the street
from his mother's, bulldozed it

and turned it into the biggest
house on the street.

I'm really just here to figure out what's
going on with the allegations against him,

and I'm starting to think
it won't happen.

[knocks]

Hey, I'm Brian,

we DM'd on Instagram?

I was the guy who reviewed
your very first mixtape.

Hey, what's going on?
I'm with Compound.

- We're here to do the interview.
- Oh, yeah, SoundCloud.

Okay. Yeah. That's... He's not
available at the moment.

He's not?

Yeah, let me
close the door and talk to you.

You can't talk about arrests,
you can't talk about his charges.

He's canceling?

He's a platinum
recording artist.

He cancels on God. You're the
fifth one he's canceled on today.

All right.

[cameraman] You shouldn't worry about
it, man. It's hard to get sit-down

interviews with rappers
anyway, dude.

Hey, hey, uh,
you know, it's... it's...

it's been a crazy couple
of months for you.

It's weird. It just seems like everyone
has a take on this except for you.

I think it's fucked up
that people

would judge something that
they don't know anything about.

Your fans don't know anything
either, which is weird because

I feel like they made you.

Look, man,
just give me five minutes.

You have to give someone
a chance to tell your story.

[cameraman]
It's not gonna happen, man.

- Forget it.
- [cameraman] It's not gonna happen, man.

Hey, hey, bro, come on.

[light dramatic music]

He wants to talk.

[Brian] And that was
it, my first exclusive.

[knocking on window]

[cameraman]
Hello?

Hey, guys?

[Brian]
And soon after,

I became
a featured correspondent.

We're here on the war-torn
Crimean Peninsula,

rebels and nationalists
are engaged in conflict

literally two blocks from us
at this very moment.

Compound sent us down here
for one reason

and one reason alone.

And that's to discover

what the craft beer scene
in Ukraine is all about.

Sure. It was clickbait.

But I was great at it.

So you've chosen
to leave society

and become homeless.

No, no,
it's called urban camping.

It's kind of like the tiny
house movement except...

Yeah, but it's like
so much more sustainable.

- Way more sustainable.
- Yeah.

[Brian] And I covered any
story they sent me on.

We're in the heart
of Williamsburg. And today,

I'm going to be learning how
to make artisanal antibiotics.

This wasn't journalism
as I'd imagined it,

but I was new
and making a name for myself.

Well, each of these pills
is handcrafted,

so they're different sizes.

It's their flaws
that make them beautiful.

But how many times could
I spin a story out of nothing?

So you are the world's
first CBD oil...

Cryptocurrency.

So, it's a CBD oil
cryptocurrency.

[cameraman]
Hey, Brian, Brian.

Yeah, and like we don't really
like need much more than this.

Like we have, like, each other.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- And drugs and like...

[cameraman]
Brian, come back.

Hey, Brian,
this is an active war zone.

Man, I hate learning shit.

I was stuck and my career
was going nowhere.

In recent years,
a controversial new figure

has emerged in the South
Appalachian Foothills.

Bigfoot.

And whether or not you believe
the creature exists,

what's undeniable is the impact
it has on local culture.

This week, I'll be joining
local Bigfoot enthusiasts

to examine the evidence,
explore recent sightings

and find out about
the Bigfoot community.

Because this is news.

[camera clicks]

That's Zach, my producer.

We've worked together for years
and he runs the camera,

even when I don't want him to.

what's going on, dude?

You ready to do this?

- Yeah, are you?
- Yeah.

I got you a coffee.

Are you excited
for the Bigfoot story?

Oh hell no.

Then why are you
in such a good mood?

All right.
Don't tell anyone this,

but I think Shane's considering
me for a broadcast position.

- Wait, really?
- Yeah.

I mean,
they've been developing that,

like, investigative show
for a while.

And now that Celeste is gone...

- Dude, do you think?
- Yeah.

I mean, nobody puts out
the level of content

that we do, even with the
garbage leads they send us on.

Dude, that would be awesome.

Do you remember how much we used
to love working here?

And now I'm just so glad to be
moving on to something else.

- Can I ask you something?
- What?

What do you think about calling the
show Uncovered with Brian Emond?

Oh hell yeah,
that would be sick.

Dude, if we got to go do a broadcast
show together, it'd be awesome.

- I mean we would be still.
- Yeah. Yes.

I... they have, like,
broadcast producers,

but I'd be able to get you over
there eventually.

- Oh.
- I would, I'm going to work to get you over there.

Of course.

[phone buzzes]

Oh, that's our ride.

Wait, Brian, dude.

- Don't ditch me.
- What?

[Brian] Zach was in
his own head again.

I wasn't ditching anybody,

and even if I had ditched him,
I wouldn't have noticed.

[Zach] By the way,
this is all of our schedule,

itinerary, background research,
everything that we're going to need.

Cool.

Hey, are we waiting on someone?

- We're taking more people to the airport.
- Who?

Some dirty money man
or something?

I don't know.
It's three or four people.

Oh, shit.

Oh, yeah, we in my hometown
Brooklyn, New York,

and this week
we trading the Big Apple

for the birthplace of poutine.

That's right.
We going to Canada, baby, on...

What up? It's your boy
Dirty Dolla $ign$.

And I got the whole
crew with me.

We got MC Slip-Slap,
Rawdog Nintendo

and of course, White Morpheus.

And oh s###, we got ourselves
a special guest.

- It's Compound's Brian Emond.
- Hey.

Just on my way to the airport.

Us too. But of course

not before we get a little
something-something

- on the way.
- [Brian] What? No.

♪ How the fuck do I feel? ♪

♪ Goddamn it I'm a savage ♪

♪ Oh, it's the moment
to blow every... ♪

See, this is how we do it.

Stick the McChicken
inside a McChicken.

That's Brooklyn style, baby.

You got to try this, my man,
I don't know if I want to be on the show.

I don't think you want to be
on your show either.

What? what...
why would you say that?

I can tell,
we watch Compound every day.

- You definitely slipping.
- And you know what else I noticed?

- What?
- We forgot fries.

Oh, man. So salty.

This tastes like a...
[bleep] in the summertime late in the day.

Acting like some yard work or
something, you know. [chuckles]

- But Brian as a guest in this segment...
- I'm not the guest.

...I need to know, you, me,
we both prolific journalists, you know.

- Technically.
- What do you look for in a story?

Well, I guess I try to find
something unconventional

- and then see if it's worthy of...
- Dope.

That's... that's dope.

You know what I'm looking for?

A... [bleeps] crack
after some yard work?

Yes. Always, my man.

- Yeah.
- And that makes for a good story?

Oh right, stories.

That's simple, my man.

I get in the s### deep.

You know,
people in this industry,

they think they always
know what the story is.

But truthfully, sometimes the real
story is right in front of you.

That's pretty insightful.

Yeah, and if you got a good
guest, all you got to do

- is be genuinely interested in the topic at hand.
- Totally.

Like one time I was interviewing
the Mayor of New York and...

And that's sometimes the cards
that you dealt, you know.

For example, take me, I have to
interview the Mayor of Canada,

- Justin Trudeau.
- Well, he's not a mayor.

- He's a prime minister.
- Right, but they on the metric system,

so it's basically like a mayor.

No, it's basically
like a president.

- Oh, s###, really?
- Oh, shit. [laughing]

Wait, hold on, I thought you did,
like, a show about food and weed,

why are you interviewing
someone like that?

Oh, this is for my new show.

Yeah, Shane got me doing some
new documentary series.

He want me getting into some
investigative journalism.

Wait so,
you got the broadcast spot?

Yeah, he said I was
the obvious choice.

They said I need a show
that gets in the s###.

But you know what I need?
I need.

I need...

- [retching]
- [Brian] Oh God.

Okay. All right,
excuse me, excuse me.

Wait, wait.

I thought you needed
a ride to the airport.

No, we're good.
We'll just, uh...

just walk.

So they gave my dream job
to some stoner moron...

I told you to stop rolling.

...and left me with Bigfoot.

[mellow music]

So we're here in Georgia at the largest
Bigfoot convention in the Southeast.

It's taking place on...

Smiling?

I'm not... I'm not pissed off.
I'm very serious.

Like, I'm... I'm grave.

No.

So, we're here in Georgia
where there's already been

1,000 opioid related deaths

this year alone,
which is actually true.

It's actually such a problem that criminal
organizations are moving into town and setting up

shop just to supply drug
addict communities, right?

That's interesting.

That's interesting stuff.

But not as interesting
as Bigfoot.

We're in Georgia, the largest
Bigfoot convention in the Southeast.

We're going to go around,
ask some locals what they have to say

about the big man himself.

Okay, we got it.

Okay. We'll do drone shots
or something.

I don't care.

[hip-hop music]

[Brian] It was a festival, tents,
people and a terrible band.

While I could be in Yemen reporting
on how humanity can be found

in the darkest of places,
I'd much rather be here,

shopping for novelty t-shirts.
And while it was truly a blast,

my producer demanded
we follow his itinerary

and meet a self-proclaimed
master of camouflage.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

What is that?

That is my secret.

See, what I do
is I use the urine

to mask my scent.
It's pretty subtle.

[retching] You think so?

See, we smell too good,

and that's why no one's ever
found him yet.

Okay, so you, like,
spray it all over yourself.

So, has that worked for you?

Hell yeah, it works for me.
I love it.

No, I mean,
have you found Bigfoot?

No.

[Brian] This was shaping
up to be a thrilling story.

- Next we talk to the cops.
- A bunch of crap.

Okay, locals just believe that
shit because of the internet.

Look, it's just
a bunch of bears.

Then where are the bear
attacks happening?

Okay. I'm going to tell you the
same thing I told the last reporter.

Okay, the only stories we have is of
hikers getting too close to wildlife.

Okay. So if you go in those woods,
you stay on those trails, you hear me?

A lot of
private property up there,

people start getting in trouble
when they lose their way.

- Wait, what does that mean?
- Ten-Four officer en route.

Means watch out for bears
on your own.

Woods aren't my precinct.

Cool, it's bears.

We flew out
from Brooklyn to cover bears.

[Brian] But things
were about to get lit.

Just 45 minutes outside of town

was a one-man
Bigfoot hunting Army.

Jeff Stevenson is a living
legend in the Bigfoot community.

Jeff rose to prominence in 2014 after
documenting one of the most controversial,

paranormal sightings
of our time.

Known as the Blue Ridge tape.

The video shows a shadowy figure
moving through the trees

at night, but what's most
notable about the incident

is what happened the next day
when Jeff returned to the site

and found what he claims as evidence
that Bigfoot is using tools.

Y'all, welcome
to the Cryptic Castle.

- How's it going?
- Good.

Wait a second.
Aren't you guys the ones

who made the little
SoundCloud piece?

Yeah.

Yeah, you know about our
hip-hop documentaries.

Oh hell yeah.

Oh man, all that
slow-mo hip-hop,

trap king, everybody's vaping.
It's my shit.

[Brian] It was a look I'd seen before.
GameStop Indiana Jones,

the brown jacket, the leather hat,
the magnetic cellphone holster.

Of all the people we met, Jeff somehow
seemed like the biggest waste of my time.

So I'll show you
around a little bit.

We've got the mega
futon right here.

Um, this is actually
my ex's idea to get this.

She said she needed
some more space.

I think what she really wanted was
just a space that didn't have me in it,

which is why she moved
two counties over.

- Anyways, what was your question?
- I hadn't asked one.

Okay, let's go. Here you can see

some of the samples we've
collected out in the field.

We do most of the testing
here in our own lab,

but sometimes we send them away
for further research.

It's what happens when you get
too close to the truth.

Uh, right here, you've got some of
my better photos of the Bigfoot.

Some of them taken by my crew, a lot of
the better ones taken by yours truly.

Now, where is Bigfoot
in these photos?

Oh, well, in this one,
he's right there.

- Right where?
- Right there.

You got to squint and get back
in there but he's right there.

Okay.

Oh, this is a great photo.

I actually won the lasso
competition in Raven County

- in 2006, I think.
- What's this one?

Oh, that's, um...

that was of me and my ex.

Uh, it's...
it's pretty complicated.

She, uh...

she doesn't want to be with me.

But like I... I very much
want to be with her.

So, like I said,
complicated, but y'all...

y'all don't need to know about that.
I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't...

mean to make it weird.

It's not.

- Let's move on. Move on.
- Okay.

And this right here is what I like
to call our display model cast.

We've done a lot more but that's
the one in the best condition.

- What about this?
- That's actually the crown jewel of my Bigfoot collection,

if you will. That's why I have
it twined up, to wear on

- expeditions for good luck.
- Okay.

So for many non-believers,
they submit that

these chance encounters are
actually a result of bear attacks.

It's completely natural for
people to question something

they don't fully understand.
The general public has done it

throughout scientific history.

But Bigfoot is the next step
in human evolution.

And if evolution
has taught us anything,

it's that life will not be
contained, life breaks free.

It expands through territories,
it crashes through barriers

painfully
or maybe even dangerously,

but, well, there it is,

- life finds a way.
- Life finds a way.

From Jurassic Park.

No, I just...

I just made that up.

This is our little staging area,

as you can see we use
topographical maps,

we... we go so far off trail,
we can't use any sort of conventional map.

Um, I'm really sorry
about the mess.

My cousin Sid is crashing with me right
now, his, uh, old lady kicked him out.

So he's here to take over
the family business.

- Oh, Sid! [laughing]
- [grunting] Come on. Come on, boy.

- Sid, Sid.
- Get down.

No, Sid, Sid.

What the fuck? Sid!

- Sid, hey!
- [Brian] As I watched two full grown men wrestle

each other to the floor,
I began to wonder...

[muffled yelling]

...was it too late
to go back to school?

Sid...

Sid?

[whispers] Okay,
so I think he passed out,

so let's just continue the tour.

But very quietly.

You know, I am really glad
y'all boys came out.

I don't get visitors much.
Well, here she is.

I know she looks kind of small
but she'll fit the two of you

- real comfortably.
- [Brian] Fit us for what?

This is your tent.

For the field
expedition tonight.

- The what?
- The field expedition?

- It was on the itinerary.
- What itinerary?

[Zach] Remember,
I gave you itinerary back in Brooklyn?

Jeff, would you
give us a moment?

Yeah, absolutely. No problem.

Did Shane approve this?

Yeah, dude.
Remember, I told you about this.

Okay, so we just got some rando though.
Like, who the hell is this guy?

- You don't know who the Cryptic Commander is?
- The what?

[fire whooshing]

[upbeat music]

What is up, YouTube?

Welcome back to another episode
of Paranormal Pursuits.

It's your boy,
the Cryptic Commander.

Now, I know what you all
are thinking,

"Cryptic Commander,
did you finally domesticate

the Jersey Devil,
and find out that it's lactation

is a good source of protein?"

Nah, but that would
be hella tight.

And besides,
I don't need anymore protein,

I get all that I need
from Alpha Snacks. [grunting]

[Brian] And again,
a bullshit assignment.

Shane. Hey, what's up?
What's going on?

I was looking over
the itinerary,

and I think there's been
a little bit of a mistake.

It says that we're
staying with the subject.

Okay. Yeah. Just typically we do
a hotel for something like this.

I get that, and I'm not trying
to be a diva here or anything,

but I just usually need
a little bit of space

to spread out
my notes and write.

Okay, so you want me to... Shane?

[phone beeps]

Shane! Shane, come...

[Sid] I heard the cops
gave you a hard time.

[Zach]
No. No, it was okay.

Oh that's how they fucking act,
make you feel like it's okay.

They don't got
no respect for anybody.

[Zach]
Yeah.

Yeah. My old lady
told me that she was

sick of me, she kicked me out.

I got one too many Dewey's.

I still remember
that cop look on his face.

He wrote me a ticket.

[bottle clatters]

Man, if I had a chance,
I'd take a swing at that cop.

Yep, I fucking hit
any cop I could, man.

I'll kill him.

[Zach]
Okay.

[chuckles]

Yeah, you all right.

You all right, boy,
you want something to drink?

[Zach]
No, I'm... I'm good, dude.

I'll get you a beer,
I'll get myself one too.

Fuck, I don't get
any reception out here.

What's going on?

I'm done.

I'm done with this
fucking story.

But our flight
isn't for three more days.

Which is why I'm gonna
buy one for tonight.

What's the problem?

The problem is they sent us
out here to do a story

with a Bigfoot whisperer
and his drunk fucking cousin.

They sent us out to Georgia
to do another non-story.

Man, what the fuck
has been up with you lately?

- What?
- We're supposed to be partners on this, okay.

This is my fucking job, Brian.

You're supposed to be
the host and I'm the producer,

and you are just not
giving a fuck about this.

You're just going to ditch me
like you always do.

[Brian] Tensions were high
and the story was trash,

but that wasn't a good reason
to piss off my producer.

Hey!

I'm sorry about earlier.

I don't mean
to get mad like that

and I recognize that I'm not the only
one working on something like this.

You know, it's too late to go
back to the city anyways, so...

I'll stay tonight.

Really? You'll take
this seriously.

Yeah, on one condition.

What?

I'm sleeping indoors.

And look at this,
technically it's indoors.

- Huh?
- [Jeff] You boys sure you want to put

your tent right on this path?

I mean you are basically asking

for unwanted animal attention
later tonight.

So, we should smash ours up
in the trees like that?

Oh, heck yeah. That's the safest
place to crash, Scout's honor.

Uh...

I think we'll take
our chances out here.

All right, suit yourself.

[whistles]

Where's he going?

[Brian] I was starting to lose
what little hope I had this trip

was worth our time.

But that night
something happened.

[cicadas chirping]

[distant bang]

- [Zach] Brian, are you awake?
- Sh.

[distant demonic shriek]

[Zach]
Brian...

What are you doing?

[whispering] I think there's
something out there.

The woods, Brian,
things make noise.

Yeah, but it's...
it's like it's a person walking.

Keep... keep the light
out of here.

[distant yelling]

- Dude, what the fuck was that?
- That's what I'm talking about.

[distant rustling]

Dude, give me the camera.

[cicadas continue chirping]

Do you think
it's still out there?

I don't know.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
turn the light off.

[tent unzipping]

[soft rustling]

Dude.

Did you see that?

Yeah, dude, that was...

- [camera beeping]
- Ah, shit, the battery.

Did you see that?

Yeah.

Here, give me the camera.

[soft rustling]

[Brian]
Something is watching us.

What?

- [soft rustling]
- [camera beeping]

[Zach] Shit, the battery,
it's the battery, here, give it to me,

- give it to me.
- Why don't you ever have

- any extra batteries on hand?
- I can't see anyth...

[camera clicking]

Okay, new battery,
let's do this.

Dude, he's not in here.
I don't know... Jeff!

[Zach] I guess someone
has trashed our campsite.

[Brian] The attack kept us up all
night, we heard noises for hours.

And even though we could hear a creature
moving towards us through the camp,

like so many Bigfoot hunters before us, we
fail to capture any substantial evidence.

[Zach]
Holy shit.

What? What?
Let's go check this out.

Okay, so whatever it was, it was big
enough to crack a skillet in half.

So our campsite has been trashed,
and last night my producer and I

heard someone or something
outside of our tent

going through the campsite.
And whatever it was,

it was large enough...
to do this.

Uh, it's pretty scary stuff.

Guess you could say we're
grateful to have... whoa!

- Good morning, everybody.
- Where were you?

Oh, well, I checked on y'all on your
tent earlier and you were still asleep.

So I just went
for a morning hike.

You left us
after all that happened?

Well, yeah.
I knew I was coming back.

- Dude, I was calling out your name, man.
- Look...

- I was taking a shit.
- With the camcorder.

Yeah.

[fire whooshing]

[upbeat music]

So, here we are
in the North Georgia mountains

hunting the Sasquatch himself.

And I already know
what you're thinking.

"But Jeff, you always hunt down
the spookiest apparitions

that the government
doesn't want us to know about."

Duh! Yeah?

Well, this episode's
a little bit different

'cause your boy, Jeff Boyardee,

is going to be the subject
of a Compound documentary.

Good on me!

[Brian]
Jeff, where are you?

- [upbeat music]
- [gun firing]

[Brian] He wasn't perfect.
But whatever we saw,

he was the only person
who could help us find it.

Jeff, we need you to show us
more of what we heard last night.

Really? Because I thought I was just a Sasquatch
whisperer with a drunk fucking cousin.

We heard something for sure.

I don't know if I believe everything I've
heard you say, but this is something,

and we need to use this documentary
to get to the bottom of it.

And the only way to do that
is by telling...

your story.

Really?

My story? Like Lil SoundCloud.

[hip-hop music]

Yeah.

[Brian] Welcome to North Georgia.
Two hours outside of the nearest city,

We're located in the dense forests
of the Appalachian Foothills.

If Atlanta
is where the players play,

then this is where
the players do meth.

And Jeffrey Stephenson
is its trap King.

A full-time Bigfoot investigator
and cryptozoologist,

Jeff has written five books
about paranormal research.

Three of which have been dedicated
solely to Bigfoot field work

and Sasquatch law, and he's even
a featured contributor

on several
paranormal news shows.

But today he's here to give me
the lowdown on Bigfoot.

I mean, I've been
writing and researching

Bigfoot for about
almost 20 years now.

I led my first Bigfoot
expedition when I was nine

as a part of the Webelo Scouts.

In that time, I've managed to
write some pretty successful books.

And that is of course...

before my marriage to Jen fell apart,
and you know, we lost the deposits

- on, like, the caterer and the vendors and...
- Whoa, whoa, stop, stop.

It's fine. Just like,
let's talk about Bigfoot.

All right, so the trick to a good
Bigfoot call is you really want to get it

down deep in your guts
from your diaphragm.

[loud humming]

[loud humming]

What we have is a piece
of authentic Bigfoot fur.

You can tell because of
the coloring and the markings.

You know, a lot of Bigfoot
hunters kind of hate this job

'cause all you're doing
is picking up little pieces,

but I mean, I'm really good
at picking up pieces,

you know, it's pretty similar when
I had to pick up all the pieces

of my life after Jen left.

Well, knocking's a lot like
a dolphin echolocation.

And it's also our greatest indication
that the Bigfoot uses tools.

It might say, "Hey...

[bangs stick]

...I'm in this area."

Or it could even be like
three Bigfoot hunters.

[low humming]

Some notes, you do sound a little
bit more like a lady Bigfoot.

Imagine from deep down
in your nether loins.

Feel free to ask me
any questions. I'm an open book.

Do you think that your obsession with
Bigfoot tore apart your relationship?

Shh...

[birds chirping]

[whispering]
Do you hear that?

- No.
- I don't.

- There's nothing, I'm sorry. Let's keep moving.
- Okay.

You know, all these
other Bigfoot hunters.

They're just out here
to make money, man.

You know, they came out here and
they collected their Bigfoot tracks,

before they knew what they had,
they had printed it,

packaged it and slapped it
on the side

of a lunch box,
and now they're selling it.

They're selling it.
And they were so preoccupied

with whether or not they could,
they never...

[both]
stopped to think if they should.

- Jurassic Park.
- Oh.

No, remember, I told you
I've never seen that movie.

[hip-hop music]

- Do you carry a firearm?
- No, never.

Never. I would never carry
any type of weapon

or... or any
sort of thing like that.

But especially not a gun.
Bigfeet hate guns.

So you'd say
Bigfoot is anti-gun.

Well, you know, don't go
putting words in my mouth.

The Squatch respects
the Second Amendment.

He just would never
own a gun personally.

This is probably
one of my favorite devices.

This is a personal water
filtration system.

I mean, you can filter
anything with that.

I've even filtered
and drank pee with it before.

- Drank pee with it?
- Yeah.

- With this one?
- Well, yeah, I don't need two water filters.

- All right, that's good. We'll move on.
- Okay.

Does everyone
out here drink piss?

- What was your question again?
- Oh, I was going to ask, do you think that

- the cause of your relationship...
- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

You hear that, right?

- No.
- Okay. Okay.

Let's keep moving. what's funny is
a lot of people get lost out here

when they try to
stay on the trail.

That's why I'm happy I'm an Eagle
Scout, I really never get lost.

Oh my god.
You're an Eagle Scout.

Yeah, like, haven't I told
you guys like five times?

[Brian] How would one communicate
with its family if it was, say,

- a domestic matter?
- Oh, okay, um...

[bangs stick]

[Brian] It sounded a
lot like three hunters.

Well, I mean,
who's the cryptozoologist here?

This is a glyph.

- [Brian] What is?
- This.

- This?
- Yeah, the... this

and that and the that.
A glyph is a way that

a Bigfoot communicates
with other Bigfoots.

So you think that this pile of sticks
that potentially could have fallen here...

- Yeah.
- ...is Bigfoots speaking to each other?

- Yeah. This is a glyph.
- [Brian] Our guide was a nice guy...

Okay, that's crazy 'cause I'm
seeing another one right there.

...but it was getting hard
not to call out his bullshit.

Do you want to hear knocking
for shut the fuck up?

So your relationship,
it was probably torn apart...

Shut up!

Because I'm pretty sure...

we're in the path of a Bigfoot right
now and we don't want to disturb it.

[Brian] While Jeff showed us some
pretty cool tricks of the trade,

we hadn't seen anything that explained
what had happened the night before.

And even though
the sun was setting,

our guide insisted
on taking us to a lake

that he had discovered.

Look. It's just so cool

and so beautiful, and I know
you guys are going to love it.

I promise, we're really close.

[Brian]
Cool being a relative term here.

So I wasn't holding my breath.

But just as our guide left
sight, the unexpected happened.

[mellow music]

Are you... do you see that?

Come here. You got this, right?

[Brian] And there it was.
Undeniable evidence

that we were
in Bigfoot's backyard.

I've seen a lot in my time as a journalist,
but nothing as unexpected as this.

This morning I had my doubts,
but now things were different.

I held in my hands,
Bigfoot's DNA.

This could be the sample
we needed to prove

that religion is wrong...

- Bryan, what are you doing?
- ...that we evol...

- Collecting some evidence.
- That's not evidence.

That's my shit
from this morning.

This isn't Bigfoot scat?

No, absolutely not. Brian, look.

There's my toilet paper
right there.

[Brian] To say it had been a
long day was an understatement.

Well, I'm gonna need
another pencil.

And we were losing light fast.

So Jeff's lake
would have to wait.

So I know your instinct
is to camp right here

in this clearing, but to avoid
another situation like last night,

why don't y'all go ahead and shove
that tent right in those vines.

[banging sticks]

[Brian] Jeff had gone to sleep
which finally gave my producer and I

a chance to catch up.

[Zach]
How do you think today went?

Went okay.
Got some pretty good footage.

I cannot get a read on this.

This guy though. I mean, like,
is he mad that someone caught him in a lie

or is he mad that
no one believes him...

I don't know.
It's just too much.

[mimics Jeff] "Uh, are you guys aware that
this is actually the spot where Bigfoot

first became an Eagle Scout."

If you make fun of Bigfoot again,
I'm going to tell Jeff's fiance.

[chuckles]

Hey, I'm sorry
I was such a prick yesterday.

It's okay.

I... I get it.

If anyone deserves
to work in broadcast...

it's you.

You do all the work,
you put everything together,

and I didn't even
read the itinerary.

Thanks.

I guess I just had this idea of the
sort of work that we should be doing,

and I think we deserve it.

But maybe it's, like,
on me, because I'm building up

this idea of some sort of
grand investigator.

Like I think I'm going to be
Carl Bernstein or something.

I just, I know I'd do anything
to be given a shot

at a real story.

And when I see other people
getting that shot, it just...

It just feels like we're
never going to make it.

Well... why don't
we just get over it?

I mean who gives a shit, we work
at a big New York media company

that just made a rapper their prime
time anchor, so maybe we don't know

what the fuck they want.

[chuckles]

Maybe we should just be happy.

I mean, like, it is kind
of fun, a little bit.

I mean, how many reporters from The Guardian
get to go out into the woods in Georgia

and follow around an Eagle Scout
Bigfoot weirdo for a week?

And it could be a lot worse.

I could be doing this alone.

So I'm glad you're
out here with me.

Me too.

[Jeff]
Hey, guys.

I'm also glad
you're out here with me.

I'm gonna go to bed.

[Brian]
Day three with my producer,

who, like I said,
rolls on everything.

Oh shit, man. Got to get some
B-roll of me waking up.

Hold on, let me focus it.
Hold on.

Yeah, man.

Got to make sure
this looks good.

Get some sweet B-roll
of me checking my texts.

Awesome, no reception. [sighs]

His tent's empty. Looks like
we're on our own again.

- Maybe he's up the trail.
- Yeah, probably taking another shit for me to find.

[light dramatic music]

Oh, here he is.

Jeff, it's that lake
you were talking about.

Yeah, see, I told you all
I wasn't lost.

[Brian]
Wow.

- This is really beautiful.
- [Jeff] It is, isn't it.

[Brian]
Wow.

[serene music]

[Jeff] So, um, most of the lakes
in Georgia are man-made reservoirs,

but this is actually one
of the natural ones.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

[Jeff] A lot of people don't know
this, but over time,

a lot of lakes just disappear.

You know, part of it's because
of global warming

but for the most part it's just
the natural order of things.

It's why when I come out and look
out over something like this,

I just want to breathe it all in
because, potentially,

I could be the last person
to see it.

- You know, one time back in the Boy Scouts we were...
- Jeff...

you know...

this is... this is a pretty chill
life you lead.

You live in a beautiful place,
you hike for a living,

you write books.

I mean,
it's not glamorous but...

you got a cool life.

Thanks.

You know, when
I'm out by the water like this,

I just feel so much more calm.

And that, like, I'm making all
the right decisions in life

and that this Bigfoot
hunting obsession

isn't just going
to be a waste of my time.

That video I took years ago,
it turned me from a nobody to a somebody,

but it completely ruined
my relationship with Jennie.

She just couldn't understand how a
grown man wanted to spend all his time

in the woods hunting
for a Sasquatch.

She said it was strange
and she said that I was a loser,

and then her mom called me
a loser too,

and then eventually my mom
joined their side as well.

Sure, I'm a single guy

living in a bachelor pad with
my semi violent, drunk cousin,

but it's all worth it.

It's all worth it because Bigfoot is real
and you guys are making this documentary

about me, and I'm not a loser.

Fuck you, Mom.

At least that's what I think about
when I look at a sunrise. [chuckles]

How about you?

Well, gonna go pack.

Do you think he realizes
how much he puts on people?

[Brian]
Jeff was just being honest,

which was something I hadn't
done with my producer, Zach.

[phone buzzes]

[Zach]
What? Job offer?

PBS?

Was it my phone?
Oh, shit, reception!

[chuckles]

Look at what
this piece of shit sent us.

Hey, do you think they got together and
he, like, ate out Justin Trudeau's asshole?

And my battery is dead. Awesome.

Just enough to get a photo
from that piece of shit.

If y'all need to make
a phone call, I got reception.

- [Brian] No, we're good.
- All right.

So, we're out in the woods,
day two, North Georgia Foothills.

We've seen some pretty
interesting stuff.

Our guide has decided
to take us to a spa...

[Zach] Hey, Jeff.
You're in the shot, Jeff.

You're in the shot.

- Sorry.
- [Brian] It's all good.

- [Jeff] Am I clear?
- Yeah.

So, we're out here in the woods,
day two, North Georgia.

We haven't seen Bigfoot, but we have seen
some things here that are somewhat...

Jeff, Jeff.

Oh my gosh,
are you guys still filming?

I'm sorry. I'll just...
I'll just get behind the camera.

[Brian]
Okay.

So we're out here in the woods,
day two, North Georgia.

- We're not seeing Bigfoot but...
- Hey, Zach, will you cut for just a second.

Brian, something's got to be done
about your hair. You just look crazy.

Let me just get that real quick.

There you go, much better.

- So we're out in the woods day two...
- [Jeff] And action.

So, we're in
the fucking Woods. Cut.

[Brian] While our
first day had been fun,

we were beginning to wonder
if our guide was reliable.

Jeff, are we going
the right way?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, it should just be...

this way? Yeah, it's this way.

[Zach] Does he know
which way he's going?

I mean, he knew
how to get to the lake.

Whatever. This is good footage.
Just keep rolling.

[Brian] While I thought we were
headed in the right direction,

I was about to find out
how lost we really were.

And while I was looking
for a figurative sign,

I didn't expect
to find a literal one.

What's that?

Jeff, what's that?

This... this isn't right.

Okay. So do we double back to the
trail that we were on earlier?

No. No, no, no, no.
The direction is right,

the compass has been
pointing north all day.

Wait. Have you been holding your
compass like that the entire time?

Yeah.

It's right next to your
magnetic belt clip.

- No wonder it always says north, dumbass.
- [Jeff] Shit.

- You seriously didn't realize that?
- Brian, I...

[Brian] Typically, situations like
this would cause other people to panic.

But as an experienced reporter,
I know how to keep a level head.

All the situation required was
some patience and some planning.

- ...Brian.
- What trail are we on?

[Jeff]
It's probably not listed.

- It's a map from a hotel lobby!
- [Brian] I don't care!

Tell me what trail we're on or we are
going to stay lost up here forever.

Your compass clearly
doesn't fucking work.

- Neither does your Eagle...
- [Zach] Hey, guys...

What's that thing up
in the brush there?

- What? What's what?
- [Zach] There's something up there.

[Brian] But no amount of planning could
have prepared us for what came next.

[light dramatic music]

After a day and a half
in the woods

with our incompetent guide,

my producer and I thought
we were going home empty-handed.

Now, we'd stumbled upon something
bigger than we'd ever anticipated,

and there was no going back.

Holy shit.

[Zach] Do you think this is one of
those, like, bear attacks?

You think a bear
is capable of this?

[Zach] Dude...
what, you think it's Bigfoot?

He's got a gun,
it's just like Jeff said.

Yeah, he does have a gun. Brian, sto...
stop getting so close to it.

[Brian] When we set out this morning,
none of us could've predicted a dead body.

And based on the lack
of decomposition here,

looks like whatever happened
just occurred.

- And just by chance, we have...
- [retching]

[Brian]
Oh. Oh, God!

- [spits]
- Oh my god.

- [Zach] Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

- [flies buzzing]
- I'm fine.

[Brian] This body could've
been out here for days,

and if we hadn't stumbled
across it,

- who knows how long it would have been...
- [retching]

Oh, god, dude. Jeff!

Oh, I'm not fine. I'm not fine.

[Jeff]
Oh, no.

- [groans]
- [Zach] Brian, I... I can't be near this thing, man.

- [Brian] Whoa, whoa, keep rolling on this.
- Dude,

I can't be near this, dude.

It's a body, man.

You have us in the woods
with a body, man.

Okay, but you remember
what we heard, right?

The other night?
Whatever that was,

clearly we are hot on its trail.

[Zach]
We have to call the cops, man.

W... why? What difference
would that make?

We're two days
out of town right now.

And besides, do you think
you're the first camera man

to see a dead body?

I don't think you get it.

We're in the shit.

- Dude, this isn't worth it, man, I'm turning the camera off.
- No, do not.

- I'm turning the camera off.
- Do not, leave it rolling!

- Leave it on!
- And for the first time ever,

Zach... stopped rolling.

We made the turn
right here, right?

Yeah, I... I think so. That should
be right, because this way is North.

Okay, okay,
so we can take this trail here

and we can hit
the ranger station.

They'll probably have a phone,
we can call back to town,

that'll be way faster
than going back.

Yeah, we... tha... that
might work, but I...

- Brian, I... That map is for tourists.
- It's all we got.

- [Jeff] Okay.
- [Brian] Let's go.

- Come on!
- [Zach] We're really doing this?

Yes.

Shit.

Shit!

So, we're two days
into our hike,

we have found a victim
of what we believe to be

a Bigfoot attack
or a bear attack.

Either way, our best hope is probably
to head to this hiking outpost

and radio back to town.

We have a pretty
hefty hike ahead of us,

and we are feeling it
in the heat of this afternoon.

According to our guide, we were only a
few hours away from the ranger station

and could soon
alert the authorities.

By radioing in,
we avoid going back to town,

and we can keep searching for
whatever stormed our campsite.

And whatever killed that man.

[crickets and birds chirping]

- Did we go the right way?
- Yeah, we...

we took the turn
that your map said to.

This is like, like an abandoned
hippie commune.

Yeah, that is
what it looks like.

- Are we lost?
- No! No, no, no, no, no, no, I... I know where to go from here.

We just need to keep going
southwest into town.

Man, Jeff. I pulled out the map, I asked you
if that's where we turned and you said yes!

Brian. How many times
do I have to tell you

that that map is for day hiking
hipster pieces of trash

from Brooklyn who just want
to come in for Instagram pics?

Wow, you know, I didn't realize the
guy who brags about never getting lost

would get us so fucking lost.

- Let me guess, you learn that shit in...
- Look, just give me

a couple minutes to get
my bearings straight, all right.

And I'll get us into town.
I think it's only, like,

a half a mile from that...
that ranger station.

[light tense music]

[Brian]
We'd been through a lot.

But after seeing firsthand what can
happen to hikers in these mountains...

I couldn't help but wonder,
were we next?

Jeff had gotten us this far,

and his training as an Eagle
Scout had come in handy

more than once. But I was
beginning to ask myself

if maybe an Eagle Scout
is just an adult

who stayed in Scouts too long.

But after insisting that we were
at least close to our outpost,

- our guide formulated a plan.
- So, look.

It's probably the best bet
for us to just go ahead

and set up camp here.

We're running out of daylight

and we know we have
a reliable water source.

But we have about two hours
until full sunset.

So I thought
maybe during that time

I could go
and scout out the area,

and maybe get a better
understanding of where we are.

And while I'm gone,
maybe we could, you know,

set up your tent...

and maybe deal with some of those anger
management issues we saw come out earlier?

You know, and then, like, think abou...
think about the things we said

and the way that we said them
when we were emotional

- that maybe we really...
- I'm not apologizing.

Nope, nope.

And... nor should you,
nor should you at all.

I just thought maybe it's better
to, you know, not hold a grudge.

All right, well...

I'm going to go.

[tense music]

[Brian] With only a few hours left in
the day and abandoned by our guide,

it was only me and my cameraman
left to fend for ourselves

or be prepared for nightfall.

[crickets chirping]

[fire whooshes]

[upbeat music]

Hey, guys, it's me,

your old reliable friend,
the Cryptic Commander.

I'm in way
over my fucking head right now.

We're... really lost.

This tree looks like that tree,

and that tree
looks like this tree.

We could be anywhere,
we are so turned around.

I've... I've got to come clean
about something.

A couple of years ago,
I got what's considered...

the best Bigfoot footage
in the world.

So I got a couple books
published because of it, but...

it also absolutely
ruined my life.

But then,

I started this YouTube channel
and I thought, "Oh, my...

my viewers can be my friends, my...
my subscribers, they can be my family."

But it was never enough.

So, when the Compound crew called and said
they wanted to put me in a documentary,

I... I jumped at the chance,

because I was so excited
to talk to someone

about something I cared about
in real life again.

And I wanted them to be so intrigued and
so obsessed with Bigfoot like I am that...

I faked it.

I faked their Bigfoot encounter
on the first night.

[deeply inhales and exhales]

I'll be able to get us
out of here, I know I will.

I've been on this mountain
multiple times.

Even when I do,
they're just going to leave.

Because that's
what they always do.

[soft rustling]

Hold on second,
did y'all hear that?

[soft rustling]

There it is again.

[birds chirping]

This could be a real sighting.

Oh my gosh!

There might be more
than one of them.

[soft rustling]

They're right on top of me.

[soft rustling]

[sharp thuds]

So, we're here
where our guide told us to stay.

We've been without water
for basically an entire day now

and we're beginning
to lose hope.

How we don't realize this?

Actually, more than one
boy scout on this trip.

I actually managed
to work my way up to tenderfoot.

[soft thuds and clicks]

F###! So the mosquito
net that our guy gave us

is apparently faulty, because I'm
still getting bit right through this.

Probably the worst part of this,
though, is realizing that...

we were better off
following a guy...

[hip-hop music]

...who thought
that Bigfoot was real.

[man]
Hello?

[crickets chirping]

[Brian]
Jeff?

[man]
Hello?

- Hello?
- [Brian] Hey!

[man]
Hey, anybody down there?

[Brian]
Hey! Have you seen Jeff?

Hey! Oh, boys! Hey there.

No, no Jeff. But how the hell
did you get up here?

You all right?

What happened?

- Okay. Well, well...
- [Zach] We saw something in the woods.

- ...we were doing a story, like, you know...
- Yeah.

- ...and then... yeah, the thing...
- [Zach]...saw something...

- Maybe...
- [Zach] Look, we don't know where our guide is.

- It was very hectic...
- Okay, okay. Lo... hey!

Hey, calm down, okay?
It's going to be okay.

What got you so spooked?

[Brian]
We saw a dead body.

We were trying to radio you.

Well, sounds like you boys have
been through a lot tonight.

Well, look, I'd love to give you
a ride back in town,

but, uh, unfortunately
you are trespassing.

- What?
- Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

- [cuffs clicking]
- Look, uh, just a formality,

but I am going to need you
to put these on.

- [Brian] What?
- Mm-hmm. Just protocol, just put them on.

I'll bring you back to town.

[Brian] But...
but we're lost out in the woods.

I know, and you won't be
real soon, okay?

- Go ahead.
- [Brian] Dude, I'm not putting on cuffs.

Please.

All right, we tried
to do things the easy way.

I think you better put these on.

He doesn't take kindly
to strangers.

It's about time
we turn this off.

[sharp rattling]

[Brian] We were caught in
something bigger than we expected.

And the monster we were chasing

was about to show its face.

[sharp clacks]

[man]
This thing recording?

Oh, hell yeah, what's up, world?

It's your boy, Trucknutz!

We out here in the dirty south
moving product.

You know how we do.
You heard of the Cali cartel?

Well, we're the Mountain Dew
Mafia, that's right.

Let me show you all around,
this is my boy, Stevie.

Man, what the fuck?
We said no names.

- I know that's why I used a fake name, Logan.
- What the fuck, Kyle?

- This is my beautiful wife.
- [sharp thud]

What the fuck? I'm trying
to flirt with you, bitch.

So this my man cave, y'all.

I got a big screen TV,
the flat kind,

I got an Xbox 360,

check me out, my gamertag
is countryroads1971,

that's the year John Denver
released the real national anthem.

And, uh, what else
I want to show y'all?

Oh, damn,
let me show you the warehouse.

All right, y'all,
welcome to the compound,

where the real action happens.

Yo, check that out.

Just when y'all thought
we were done, right?

We're contributing to the
motherfucking opioid epidemic.

That's right. This is a brick
of fentanyl right here,

it's all wrapped up
in Saran Wrap,

I guess they're going
to chop it up and...

and put it in these,
uh, stuffed animals.

Y'all seen Traffic, right?

- It's just like that.
- [man speaking Asian language]

Hey, What are you doing?

You can't be in here, man!

[men speaking Asian language]

These are my boys, right here.

Hey! Get the fuck
out of here now!

- All right, Jesus!
- You ain't supposed to be in here.

- Get out of here!
- Goddamn!

Let's go look at some guns.

Bam! This is my gun collection
right here.

I love these guns
like my family.

I know them like the back
of my fucking hand, dude.

This is my long gun.
This is my short gun.

These are all my baby girls right
there, all three of them.

Uh, this, of course,
is more fentanyl bricks.

We sell so much fucking
fentanyl bricks,

like, suck it, El Chapo.

[coughs]

- Let's check out my truck, y'all. I mean, fuck this.
- [soft thud]

So, this is it right here,
y'all, this is my baby.

I'mma drop a LS3 in this sucker.

I'mma be cruising on 22s, like,

she might not look
like much right now...

but check this out.

[horn plays music]

Dude! I already told you once.

Get out of the damn warehouse!

- We're working.
- All right, fine.

I'm going to the stable

where at least I get respect.

Haters, y'all!

Now we're in the stable,

where we got hella horses.

Just your regular, you know,
run-of-the-mill stable.

Psych! We got prisoners
up in here too!

Look at those bitches in there.

They're... they're our
real human captives.

Shut the fuck up. Shut up.

- Yeah, we just kind of do with them what we please.
- Carl, what are you doing?

You know,
I'm trying to go viral, cuz.

We got work to do
and you're fucking around.

[camera whirring]

[Brian] We had our camera back,
but without an escape plan,

it wasn't much good.

So, they just kidnapped
all three of us?

And me.

Oh, right. I forgot
to properly introduce you guys.

Jeff, this is Darren.
He's a Bigfoot hunter

who likes to gargle animal piss.

Darren, this is Jeff.

He's a Bigfoot hunter
who likes to drink his own piss.

Gross!

The first thing
you guys will hear, I, uh,

I faked that Bigfoot attack.

Bigfoot is real,
when we get out of here,

I promise I will take you guys
back out in the woods

and help you find
the real Bigfoot.

I am... I'm sorry I lied,
but I had to create

a false flag situation
to get you guys hooked.

We're not getting out of here.

Well, fine, but...

it felt nice to get that off
my chest, since we're friends.

We're not friends.

You're a liar.

And I get that most
Bigfoot hunters are liars.

But the most upsetting part
of all of this

is that I believed you.

I believed a Bigfoot hunter.

I'm going to die because I
trusted a fucking Bigfoot hunter.

Hey, but that's... that's alright,
because I must be the most trash

fucking journalist
on the whole planet.

Why do I even think
I could do something like

investigative journalism
when I can't even see

that I'm walking head first
into a drug cartel?

But it's no big deal,
because you know what?

I'll die doing what I'm best at

which is interviewing
a fucking shit...

- [audio distortion]
- I said shut up.

We're literally trapped
in a cage right now.

And the only person
you're worried about is you!

Yeah, you already left me
once in this trip.

How much longer till
you leave me for PBS?

Oh, yeah, you didn't think
I knew about that, did you?

You're literally
nothing without me too.

By the way, we've been
working together for five years

and you still haven't
learned how to hold the camera.

Give me that.

[Brian]
Oh, s###.

A familiar face.

And not in a good way.

Anyone familiar
with FBI's Most Wanted

would recognize
the face of Ma Pritchard.

Born in Macon, Georgia,
under the name Rose McCoy,

her first brush
with the law came early

while acting as her father's
look out during armed robberies.

Often referred
to as Dixie's last kingpin,

she started a criminal empire
out of a group of runaways

and foster children
that she raised herself.

Now, some of the Deep South's
most vicious criminals

affectionately
refer to her as "Ma."

Notoriously violent, they're
known for their savage murder

of anyone
who stands in their way.

Wanted for laundering,
kidnapping,

violent crimes
and felony murder.

It's long been suspected
that her criminal enterprise

has expanded
into drug smuggling.

Considered by authorities to be one
of the most violent criminals at large

in the United States,

Ma Pritchard
hasn't been seen in years,

and her whereabouts
are still unknown

until right now.

You keep rolling there, boy.

Trust me when I tell you,

I'll be the only one
that ever sees that.

We work for a news network.
I'm making a documentary.

It's a documentary
about Bigfoot.

[laughs]

Y'all think there are
Sasquatches up here, in Georgia?

- [laughs]
- Ma, it ain't that...

it ain't that ridiculous.
Like, Bigfoot's real.

You're not bringing
that up again, are you?

I'm just... I'm just saying,
you know, like, Sasquatch is real.

Alright? He's a Georgia boy.

You guys sound
like a Goddamn redneck,

and you gonna make the rest
of us look like hillbillies.

- Ma, I told you, I've seen him though. Remember?
- You've seen him?

I mean, I heard him at least,
but I done told you that, remember the...

- [slaps]
- [grunts]

That was us.

We're smuggling heroin
through the woods.

[Ma]
Oh, hey, this my lucky opener.

So, all this time,
all those Bigfoot occurrences,

it's just been you guys.

[laughs]

Well, you said you came up here
looking for Bigfoot,

and I guess you found him.

And now, we're going to find out
who you're really working for.

Get that one right there.

He looks ready to talk.

[Zach]
No! No, no, no! No! No!

[eerie music]

[Brian] Jeff,
what the fuck are we going to do?

Do you know what this means?

Yeah, if we don't
get out of here,

they're going to murder Zach.

It means Bigfoot isn't real.

Oh. What?

It means all those years
out in the field doing research,

I've just been chasing after
a group a hillbilly criminals.

Jeff, snap out of it.

This must be what I deserve
for pushing everyone away.

[Brian] I felt for him, but right
now I couldn't have him like this.

Uh, look, look, look.
They left the keys!

Okay, okay.
We can't reach through the bars.

- But...
- But you remember when you showed me your lasso trick?

- Oh.
- Great!

So we can use my belt

and form it into a lasso

and get the keys off the hook.

And then I'll use my arms,
my skinny arms

to reach through the cage
and I can reach down there

and I can grab the keys,
get out of these cuffs,

and then we can go
and save Zach.

Do you really want
to live in a world...

knowing that Bigfoot isn't real?

Well, I never thought...

- Yes. Yes, I would.
- Fine.

[sighs]

You had that the entire time?

Yeah. Brian,

how many times
do I have to tell you guys?

I am an Eagle Scout.

I always come prepared.

That was incredible.

[Jeff scoffs]
Who cares?

- You still think I'm an idiot.
- [Brian] No.

No, I'm sorry about what I said.

- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.

Jeff, you're a badass.
I couldn't have gotten out of these cuffs.

It was true, without Jeff,
we'd have been fertilizer.

Yeah, you're right,
you couldn't have.

Holy shit, did I just
break us out of handcuffs?

I'm a fucking badass.

I'm a badass
with or without Bigfoot.

Ye... Yeah!

You know what?
There's a man who needs saving.

And I'm going to be
the one to do it.

- Is it me?
- [Brian] Oh. Um...

- Shit. Uh...
- [Brian] Uh, we... we should...

- Um, yes. Yes.
- I mean, I guess.

[Brian] Now that Jeff
was back in action,

it was up to him, myself,

and the pee-pee guy from earlier

to hatch a plan
and save my best friend.

But standing directly in front
of Zach was an armed guard.

Okay, so I think our best bet
is to distract him.

- You come up from behind.
- Okay, and then what?

Then, Jeff, you'll grab him, and,
Darren, you'll come up and disarm him.

Wait. He has a gun?

Yeah, but with the three of us,
we can totally take them.

Okay, yeah, right.
So, we just ambush him, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So I'll come up from behind,

and once I'm in position,
you just come charging in from the front.

The front?
So, like, where the gun is?

- [Brian] Are you serious?
- Yeah, man, we just rescued you.

Yeah, and I appreciate that
and all, but...

- I'm kind of a coward.
- Darren, you got this.

This is our chance
for us to show the world

that Bigfoot hunters aren't just
a bunch of crybaby, sissy loonies.

Hell yeah!

- Okay. Yeah, let's do this.
- [Brian] Alright.

Okay, great. Awesome.
So here's the plan.

Jeff, you sneak
around the back, you get him,

you grab him, that's when Darren
and I... Darren, we come in, we...

- Oh, shit.
- Okay. I guess we're doing it ourselves.

Are you sure?

Jeff... you got this.

Thanks, Brian.

[suspenseful music]

[Brian] I wasn't sure what Jeff's plan
was, but it was now or never.

Hey!

What are you doing out here?

Uh, I, um... I'm...
it's me from earlier.

And I also do a show

and I was just wondering

what it's like being
a member of the cartel.

- Dude, you know...
- [neck snapping]

- Oh my god.
- What the fuck?

Oh my god! It was so easy.

Brian, I've only
ever seen that in movies.

I mean, his neck snapped
like it was made of candy.

[Brian]
Yeah, I meant knock him out.

Brian, don't you put this on me.
You said to take care of it.

- [Zach mumbling]
- [Jeff] Shit!

[Brian]
Grab his knife!

Brian, you didn't ditch me.

Guys, let's do this.

[suspenseful music]

- [gun fires]
- [man] All right, all right. Freeze.

[Jeff]
Please. Please, just let us go.

- Hey, Ma, they are here!
- [Jeff] Come on, we'll delete all the footage.

- We won't tell anyone, please, just let us go.
- No, no. I ain't fucking dumb.

Alright, come on, back
to the barn. Come on. Come on.

[animal howling]

Oh my god.
You all hear that? [chuckles]

That's the mighty Bigfoot.
[grunts]

You heard that, right?

You heard that? That was me.

I just did the Bigfoot call.
That was really me!

Yeah, you know, it was...
it was close, definitely an A for effort.

But you know what?
Congratulations, it worked.

[Brian]
And at that moment, it hit me.

Maybe we weren't hunting
Bigfoot the creature,

but the Bigfoot in ourselves.

[gun fires]

[Jeff] What are you guys doing?
Come on!

[Brian] It was dark and we lost
our guide almost instantly,

but he hadn't lost us.

- What the fuck?
- [Jeff whispering] Come here. Shh, shh!

[eerie music]

[Brian]
I was losing my shit.

But Jeff kept
a cool head the entire time.

Maybe his boy scout skills
would be enough

to get us
out of this mess alive.

[man]
Well, well, well.

Oh! Nice and easy now.
Hands up. Come on over.

Come on. Oh. Watch your step.

Yeah. There you go.

Alright. Now...

We were just
going to kill you...

but now we got to go straight up
Deliverance on your asses.

[Brian chuckles]

We're going to what?

We are going
to mess them up real good.

- Yeah.
- Right, but they do some, uh,

they do some, uh, kind of
fucked up shit in that movie.

- Yeah. Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
- Deliverance?

Oh, yeah. That right there.

- Mm.
- [Brian clears throat]

Hey, uh, is there anything
you want to tell me, like...

[man]
Hey, boss. Come on over here.

So, y'all think
your time here is up, huh?

Grab him, hold him down.

Hey, we're not doing
anything like,

specifically
from Deliverance, are we?

- Grab that one right there.
- [man] Okay, Ma.

- Come on.
- [Ma] I'm not going to give him a chance to escape again.

Down!

[Ma]
Hold still.

So, you claim to be a reporter?

Well, I don't know too much about
journalism, but I do know this,

you're not supposed to interfere
with what you've been reporting of,

you're supposed to observe.

Now, you had the opportunity
to turn around and go home,

but you didn't do it, because
you're bad at what you're doing.

You're so bad at this,
you're so bad at this

that you're going to die.

And ain't nobody
going to hear your story.

Oh, shit! Hey, guys!

Zach. Awesome. You made it out.

- Well, I'm just going to be leaving...
- [gunshots]

- Who is that guy?
- He's one of their friends.

Okay. Alright.

And now I'm going
to gut you like a fish

for what you did to my boy.

I'm sorry...

for everything.

[Brian]
So this was it.

We were going to die.

And how?

Chasing Bigfoot.

[upbeat music]

When you put it that way,

it sounds pretty stupid.

Being so desperate for a story

that you'd literally follow
a stranger into the woods

on a complete and total lie.

I have felt so hopelessly
stuck in my career

that I got myself, my cameraman

and an Eagle Scout killed.

And absolutely nothing
could save us now.

- [whimpering]
- [loud growling]

[man screams]

- What the hell is that?
- They're just trying to trick us again.

[man screaming]

What's that?

[gun firing]

[gasps] Oh, hell, no!

[gun firing]

[Brian]
Something had saved us,

but we weren't
out of the woods just yet.

[suspenseful music]

[gun firing]

It attacked our kidnappers,

providing us
enough cover to slip away,

and finally capture the first
clear footage of Bigfoot.

Stay completely still,
his vision detects no movement.

- [animal growling]
- [gun firing]

His vision's normal.

His vision's normal!

[Brian]
Well, his vision was normal,

his sights
were set on someone else...

[Jeff]
Oh my fucking God!

...Ma.

[Zach]
Oh my God.

[Jeff]
What the fuck?

- Shit, shit, shit, shit!
- [Zach] Oh my god.

[Jeff]
Come on, come on!

[Brian] We ran for as long
and as hard as we could.

Probably over a mile, and we
needed to catch our breath.

[panting]

Holy shit! Holy shit,
was that really Bigfoot?

I knew it. I knew it.
I knew he was real.

No, you didn't.

[Zach]
Why didn't he come after us?

Zach, I told you,
Bigfoot hates guns!

Bigfoot... hates... guns!

[animal growling]

Oh! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

[Brian] After running
for what felt like hours,

we discovered an old service
road that led back to town.

[Jeff]
Oh my god.

Oh my god. I know this road.
We're so close to town.

[Brian] And now we
were out of the woods,

our problems were far from over.

[police siren wails]

[officer]
Freeze!

Hands up, motherfuckers.

Heard a little bit of commotion.
What happened to my cousins?

Wait, you guys are related?

You don't look anything alike.

Let's just say
that we were close enough

that I'll kill you for whatever
the fuck you did to them.

So that's a no?

Fuck you!

Officer in Highway 41
requesting back-up.

I have three suspects
possibly armed.

- [Brian] We don't have a gun.
- Put your hands behind your fucking heads.

Ten-Four, please hurry, suspects
are approaching my vehicle.

Don't you fucking move!

Hmm?

This is Officer 544,
suspects confirmed armed.

Pick it up.

- Touch it, shithead.
- [Brian stammers] I... No.

- I said pick it up!
- [Brian] No!

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Shots fired. Shots fired!

Boom![mumbling]

Fuck. [chuckles]

Hey.

[officer groans]

It's Sid, I'm back!

You remember me?

- What the hell?
- Oh my god.

Sid, you saved us.
Hell yeah, man!

What the hell
are you doing out here?

Oh, Jeff.

- I'm going to get you.
- Back up. He's going to do it.

He will do it. Back up.

Back up. Sid,
it's going to be alright.

Okay, I think if we just keep walking
like this, it's going to be okay.

[Brian]
And that was it.

The end of an arduous journey

that proved the existence
of a mythological creature,

and would lead ultimately
to the uncovering

of one of the largest organized
crime rings of the last decade.

[reporter 1] A major drug raid
in Northern Habersham County,

law enforcements seized over 30
tons of fentanyl and opioids.

[reporter 2] Although several
arrests have been made, key members

of the criminal organization
have still not been located.

[reporter 3] An alarming video
evidence from a journalist on the scene

raises more questions
than answers.

Look, the video is great,
and I'm really happy with it.

But I've... I've put
a lot of that behind me.

The only thing I'm really concerned
with now is planning my wedding.

[Brian]
And as for me,

I was finally living my dream

as an international
correspondent.

Why are we... Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa! Whoa, guys, guys, guys.
It's just a regular...

Okay, okay. Alright, alright,
alright. Alright, okay.

[suspenseful music]

Brian... Emond.

I brought you here

for one reason
and one reason alone.

- What's that?
- To show you...

what the craft beer scene in
Venezuela is really all about!

Salud, Brian.

[Brian]
Sure, it was clickbait...

but I was great at it.

Salud!

We should sit down
and talk about

how you guys do this,

because this is something else.

Well, first you need
to get the house.

- Yes.
- And we...

Next to the cocaine,
we have the house.

We have all the journalists
that we trapped.

- Yeah.
- They're slaves. They work on the house.

- They pick it up...
- Are you telling me they work for free?

That's what a slave is.

So, hands on the stomach, make sure you're
getting the right amount of lift and...

♪ Oh! ♪

[all]
♪ Oh! ♪

[Brian] Every journalist is
searching for that one story,

the one that defines them.

But how many reporters
from The Guardian

get to chug beers
with a rebel faction

in the mountains of Venezuela?

And it could be worse,
I could be doing it alone.

[up-tempo Latin music]

["Gloria in D Major,
RV 589" by Vivaldi]

[Dirty Dolla $ign$]
Healthcare, maple syrup...

legal weed.

These are some of the crises

facing Canadians today.

Join me for this hour

for entirely new television
show from Compound.

Dirty Dolla $ign$
Serious F###### Issues.

[hip-hop music]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull