Original subtitles

Brought to you by Guodong Subs Translator&Timer: NiHao Proofreader: Raliath

My life is in turmoil, like being changed totally

The ideal world seems to have drifted away from me

Looking back on those beautiful moments

I know the naive smiley face no longer exists

I'm bound and banished, but I'm also trying breaking them

I remember the freedom and break free from the chains

I break through the limits of the sky to let light shines on the world

The way to ideal world

is in front of me

Even if there is danger

I'll never give up

Ladies and gentlemen, the exciting moment is here.

The winner is about to be unveiled.

He will not only win honor but also a 1600k venture fund.

This will be the big income of a great company.

So tonight's Golden Horse Award winner is

Addictive Toilet Seat.

Let's give him and his team a big round of applause.

Now let's welcome the winner to share his acceptance speech.

Thank you.

Thank to the organizers, the first industrial technology institute and Big-baby group.

Thank you.

And, I would also like to thank my family,

my wife, and my daughter.

Are you coming back for dinner?

No.

I just got the investment and have to make a new design scheme quickly.

Are you coming back to sleep?

No.

My wife's cooking gives me energy.

And my daughter's smile gives me bravery.

OI. Speak.

You.

I...

Can you be serious for the meeting?

With their support, I created this landmark product -

- Internet + toilet seat.

With the development of phones,

more and more people play their phones on the toilet.

We have been in contact with the toilet longer and longer.

When will you be back?

Xiao Min is allergic to seafood

Don't play with your phone while eating. Haven't you played enough on the toilet?

Sorry.

So,

We have focused on the toilet market for 100 years.

and provided an ergonomic designs

It joints hips, besides massaging, an alarm,

and we also installed a 80 million pixel camera

to photograph your shit,

which also has skin care effects.

Ouch.

You're the seat prince?

So handsome.

Wow. This is the new project.

A wearable toilet seat, right? So awesome!

This is a collaboration with Hermes.

Give me one? OK?

OK. I'll give you. Both of you.

Hello?

What?

A repairman is enough

or buy a new one.

Don't bother me with such a trifle.

And it also provides a somatosensory system.

Connecting with bluetooth,

it can oscillate according to music and games.

Welcome to the toilet seat

2.0 age.

Reality is much more handsome.

Hello? I'm in a meeting. What's up this time?

Let's... divorce.

Eh? I'd like to ask are you done?

You've been choking me since last night.

Now a whole night's passed and nothing happened.

Drop it.

No wonder I had a R18 dream all night.

You unruly people, I froze. I didn't want to spend the night with you in this position at all!

The hell with the BGM.

Oi, Oi, Lao Wang.

Can you evict?

Did you transact a temporary residence permit for him?

Are you kidding me? You should be honored that I live with you.

Fatty, how about being my subordinate?

Be my mount and help me be emperor.

Maybe I'll give you the earth as a gift.

Lao Wang, why is his mandarin better than ours?

So many advanced phrases.

Hahahaha.

In order to win that female's heart, I learned a lot.

Wait. What did you say?

Hehehe.

Are you afraid?

Shut up! Stay away from Xiao Min!

Oh.

Her name is Xiao Min? Is she also the one you are chasing?

Hahaha.

It's pity that you met such a strong rival.

You idiot.

I'm not your rival. I'm not chasing her at all.

Why are you so nervous?

And I'm not Indian.

I'm the great universe conqueror.

I am...

OK. I know you both want to catch that super rare prey.

As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together.

After all you two were together last night.

Don't be mad.

Huh? Who?

Ah. Xiao Min.

How do you do?

Why are you so dressed up?

Well... Mr Wang,

The bathtub tap is broken again.

I washed halfway and don't know what to do.

So can you repair or ask someone to repair it?

I understand!

She said repair(xiu) twice. That must mean co-cultivate(xiu). I'm coming!

Oi Oi.

Don't rock the boat! I won't let you do that dirty...

thing.

Why must the superhero be beaten every episode?

Mr Wang.

Who are these two strange people?

Wait. Is this fatty the pervert who always showed up at my house?

Mr Wang. Call the police now?

No no no.

Wait wait wait.

You misunderstand.

Darling.

Can you be close to me and show me some beauty.

Ouch. Sorry. Xiao Min.

They're my relatives.

They're from the countryside and always make mischief. I'm sorry.

By the way, was it you who entered my room that night?

That's coincidental. It was the first day I came. I went to the wrong door because of the dark.

You're so foxy.

So you've been to her room already?

Dirty dog. Take me with you next time.

No way! I swear that I won't let you enter her room.

Ah! I see.

OK. Can you repair the tap?

Yes!

Humans use water to clean their bodies?

We already use coarse particulate matter to rub our bodies clean.

Oi. It's just a shower, where's your superiority coming from?

Anyway thank you.

That tap has been repaired many times.

You stay out of it.

A good emperor can't ignore his people's trouble.

Facing a great disaster, I should show my bravery.

Oi.

It's just a water pipe.

Look. What you said shows your ignorance.

We should use our heart to find out the root of the problem.

Treat the cause before the symptoms.

It looks like a plumbing problem, actually...

What is he doing?

Drinking out all of the water?

It's logically possible,

but the pipe connects to the city water system.

So he has to drink all the city's water.

And the waterworks connects to the river and sea

which means that he has to drink all of the sea.

Can an alien do that?

Wait. Drink water? Is this his real aggression plan that deplete the earth of its resources?

I should stop him before he does that.

Well. OK.

I think too much. He's just stupid.

He's drowning. Give him a life buoy.

I don't have any. I'll go buy one.

It seems that it's my fault.

Relax.

I can continue.

Holy shit.

You're alive after drinking that much water?

Your Majesty, the second prince sold his spacecraft and stayed on the earth.

What?

Why can such small planet attract him?

It seems that he was charmed by a female-sphereling.

Rubbish!

I commanded you to follow him to ensure that he could succeed.

And now you come back to complain?

Please don't be mad.

He is just on a whim.

When he calms down, he'll let us come back and help him.

Ah. He's calling me.

Hello?

OK OK OK.

I will.

What did he say?

He asked me to do something important.

Your highness. Is this what you wanted?

If you're not satisfied, say something.

It's not bad. Tap: In Chinese it can be translated as water dragon head word for word.

Dragon head

But why does it feel strange? Is it too small?

It's not the size! I needed a tap! Not a dinosaur head! Idiot.

It looks more comfortable.

Water dragon's head

Wise king!

Wise king!

Do you want to scare Xiao Min or be beaten to death by her?

Well, take it back, you can leave now.

I didn't expect that repairing a pipe could beat me.

Stop rocking the boat. Let me do it.

Don't be dazed. Help me.

Unexpectedly the superhero becomes a plumber.

I said that it was my fault.

I should have repaired it carefully before.

What? Have you been here long?

Of course.

This

is my home!

Hey. Quick come back. The tap is broken again.

Xiao Min washed herself halfway. She'll get sick!

A repairman is enough

or buy a new one.

Don't bother me with such a trifle.

Damn old dad. I asked you to repair it carefully.

Why did you put adhesive tape on it!?

Repair?

Repair?

You only know repair like your mother.

I asked her to replace it with a new one.

She did it

and replaced me.

She can be patient with a tap,

but why did she throw us away so easily?

What's the use of being a hero?

Something can't be repaired if it's already broken.

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Wait. You said this is your home?

That's to say Xiao Min...

Xiao Min

is my daughter.

Ah?

Wait.

Why did I have no issues saying that?

Aren't words about my identity forcibly blocked?

Oh. I see.

I can't tell any person.

He is alien so he isn't a "person"!

So that's it. Xiao Min is his daughter. No wonder he clung to protecting her.

So, I can't ignore him.

Well...

Do me a favor.

You say first.

You say first.

You say first.

Dad, I love her.

Fuck you!

I got a life buoy. Is he alive?

Huh?

Where are they?

It seems to have been fixed.

They looked strange but they were reliable.

What?

Water seepage?

Damn old dad. You used adhesive tape again.... Ah!?

Humph! That undeserving son.

He really is a disgrace to us.

Your Majesty. Please calm down.

He surely has a plan.

Chase a female-sphereling, reproduce with her,

and then occupy the earth step by step.

That must be his plan.

Enough!

Stop shielding him.

No...

No!

No... What are you two doing?

Yes.

He is a 12 inch mirror.

He is the ticket of a hamburger.

He is car parts.

He can't live in a funny quilt.

He is a pea princess.

He is a slippers road.

He is a tofu garbage bag.

What the hell are you saying?

Stop talking!

As you said, when talking about your identity, the words are blocked.

So now only you know my secret.

I'll help you! Father-in-law.

Yes.

That disgraceful son may not even know that he has made a big mistake.

Hahaha.

If you care so much father,

I'll bring him back before things get worse, keeping it to a minimum.

Xiao Min, may I help you?

How can he be this corrupted?

Has he forgetten that he's married?

Ducky. Who are you calling?

Dad...

My dad...

is protecting the earth

Dad...

Silly dad...

is protecting the earth

To...

Going forward and yearning for calm

I wanna give a little more to you

I miss your warm smile every day

I can't see you but I know you're by my side

Dad...

My dad...

is protecting the earth

Dad...

My dad is protecting the earth

Papa...

protects the earth