Original subtitles

Brought to you by Guodong Subs Translator&Timer: NiHao Proofreader: Raliath

Falling out of control, being full of setbacks, my life is filled with failure

Being laughed by fate, being full of decadence, I can only be a hillbilly

The absurd plot will be staged at any time

Clench the hands and ring the bell of fate

Live in warped space-time and fight against the doomed curse

I use evasion to hide lies and fight against all deceit

I use justice against pity and triumph over evil

I am brave enough to go

with persistent belief

I bite the bullet

and protect everything

For more than a hundred years, we have guarded peace.

But one day, they appeared suddenly

and ate the our fragile selves inexorably.

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

#02 Eggs for breakfast

Well, thanks for taking me in.

In fact,

I...

I'm...

Humph. I thought you were weird from the beginning.

That's great. You are indeed my neighbor!

Answer my question.

OK. Please.

You're so smart to use this way.

An egg or two for breakfast?

I'm wrong.

We've been neighbors for years, but I shouldn't expect anything from you.

Then, two.

I knew you were thinking of my eggs. OK, no problem.

Hey, I don't rare your eggs at all.

As the saying goes, east, west, Wang is worst.

Can I use my super power to wipe out this evil?

Have a try.

Hallelujah oh my god! That's the fucking atom bomb!

This... this... this is rare.

From the supermarket downstairs. Hurry up and eat.

I graduated college. Don't lie to me!

What are you thinking? Skipping breakfast isn't good.

OK, OK.

Beggars can't be choosers.

It's hatching a bird!!!

Damn. Not ripe yet.

It's well done this time. Eat it.

Oh, I have to go to the toilet. You eat first.

Are you okay? Do you have a cold?

I have Glycerine Enema, Imodium and Hemorrhoids ointment.

Next door is so lively.

Did his family come to see him?

Well.

Only my dad is interested in that kind of gossip.

By the way, how long will that damn man disappear for?

What to do?

If I go home, Xiao Min will punch me until I die. If I stay here, Lao Wang will toy with me until I die. I will sure die if I can't turn back.

Xiao Min!

Xiao Min, this is daddy.

I'm next door.

Girl, do you need pimp?

I'll wait for you next door.

What the hell!

Dad must have left his cellphone in the red light district.

Hello?

Xiao Min! Help me!

Hello?

Girl. Come find me!

Pervert!

Hm?

Why are there more and more weirdos in the neighborhood?

Ah!

General Letgoofshit is close to the target.

WTF?

He's General Shibolego!

I'd like to see

how the superhero of earth killed the undead Letgoofshit.

His name is Shibolego.

Damn!

I can't find any way to turn back.

Hey.

Blood will focus in the hemorrhoids if you sit too long which causes blood clogging.

Your brain will be starved of blood and you'll become ugly.

Stupid.

The blood accumulates in the buttocks.

When you raise your butt,

This pressure is like a pump, which makes lots of blood rushes to the brain.

So I can improve my thinking ability in a short time.

It's time to go now.

Thinking about how to turn back,

raise my butt.

I've got it!

Quick come out.

You're still ugly no matter what you do.

I'm saved!

Where are you going?

Come back! Don't leave me alone.

My son, come back!

I know I'm ugly and useless.

I can't give you money to pick up hot chicks. I can't give you a house for a wedding.

But I love you more than anyone!

Dad, those aren't the problems.

Is this it right here?

You're just human,

how dare you challenge my king!

Xiao Min, wait for me! I'm coming home!

I'll use my indestructible Adamantium

to cut your heart out.

Xiao Min!

Go to hell!

Ah?

Oh?

Who are you?

My parents aren't home.

Wait. Are you a bad man?

Sorry sorry. I'm not a bad man. I knocked on the wrong door.

NO.3 General Shibolego

Ah?

Are you okay?

Luckily, I have the key.

Ah!!!!!!!

I feel strange after going out.

It turns out today's Sunday.

Humans are too cunning.

They cracked Letgoofshit's undead body.

Who will try next?

Me.

You?

They're just some boorish fellow.

Intelligence is their shortcoming.

I'll use my most terrible death spells

to send that hero to the hell.

Apparate!

We're finally fighting with spells.

Can WMDs really work?

And... who is he?

Right here. Going to the wrong door was a foolish mistake.

What are you sighing about? Look carefully!

Those are wings?

Could it be he is that insidious black magic sorcerer?

He ever used voodoo to kill all the inhabitants of a planet!

Everyone calls him

NO.4 King BirdieBird

King Birdie-Bird

Xiao Min?

Xiao Min?

Great.

See you again, my friend.

Go where I come from.

Hey Mario! Can you hear me? Let me in.

I need to talk to you.

Why so serious~

Don't ignore me. Aren't you supposed to come out after I rub you?

Damn! I'll call the police!

I'm not kidding!

I'll use the plunger to suck you out!

Bro. I grovel before you.

I know!

No offering.

Xiao Min.

Hm?

Trump Jr? Why are you here?

That's also my question.

There's no class today, why are you carrying a schoolbag?

Ah.

I got the day wrong.

I thought it was Friday.

You're so cute.

Come on!

I can't give up!

No.

I have no strength left.

But,

if I give up here,

I'll have lost everything!

And Xiao Min

will lose her only father.

I can't!

I can't let a little lump stop the happiness of Xiao Min's life.

I... I must let it out!

I know! That's it!

The place being empty gives me a big chance.

This superhero is just so so.

He's so careless

and nobody defends the house.

Great!

This gives me a chance to use my spells.

I'll use Unforgivable Curses in your room!

Why does this look familiar?

What! Isn't this my kindred that was lost in the universe?

I thought I was the only one left.

Unexpectedly, they're on the earth

and have become human's food!

Could it be the reason why they failed

is that humans are cruel and deceitful?

Wait! Is this house also a trap?

Oh, you're back.

Wow such a big one!

You look delicious!

Odd species?

Don't eat me!

Hey hey!

Where are you going?

Come back! Don't leave me alone.

Come back, darling.

I know I'm ugly and useless.

But I love you more than anyone!

Don't lie.

Son's head is small. It's you that betrayed me.

The earth is terrible. I should go back quick!

I forget to eat breakfast!

Breakfast!

Why did breakfast run out?

Break..

Breakfast?

Don't... don't come over!

I'll use Unforgivable Curses if you get close!

It's too much!

Go to hell!

Die......

What kind of birds are you?

You're not scientific at all.

Oi Oi

An alien again?

Help yourself to attacking earth.

But could you help me to find

that Union Hero Committee?

Xiao Min?

Xiao Min...

She...

Daddy~

Hold me~

Dad~

Hey,

damn old dad.

Ignore that old guy,

live at my home tonight.

Humph.

That movie is such nonsense.

So

you like that movie too?

What about watching that movie next time?

Come and live at my house. Hey playboy!

What are you talking about?

OK?

Get away from her!

Live at my house.

You're still alive?

I'll turn up the volume.

Shut up!

You're noisy.

Seckill?

Your royal highness, we'd better give up capturing earth

Yes yes.

Please think carefully, your royal highness.

OK, stop.

Xiao Min has already entered adolescence?

I

will surely protect you!

I already found that superhero's weakness.

Dad...

My dad...

is protecting the earth

Dad...

Silly dad...

is protecting the earth

To...

Going forward and yearning for calm

I wanna give a little more to you

I miss your warm smile every day

I can't see you but I know you're by my side

Dad...

My dad...

is protecting the earth

Dad...

My dad is protecting the earth

Papa...

protects the earth