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1
00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:15,890
You guys are so dramatic.
2
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:27,990
I heard you were sneaking around our
gate.
3
00:00:29,170 --> 00:00:30,470
Trying to find a way out, eh?
4
00:00:31,550 --> 00:00:32,549
Cute.
5
00:00:34,130 --> 00:00:35,130
Everything.
6
00:00:35,490 --> 00:00:36,490
I insist.
7
00:00:38,770 --> 00:00:39,770
Fuck Kate!
8
00:00:42,270 --> 00:00:43,330
You know...
9
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:49,880
This gun was handcrafted in 1862 during
the American Civil War, designed
10
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:55,840
specifically for dueling, when things
get up close and personal when you're at
11
00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,960
war with your neighbor.
12
00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,620
The bullets are tiny. Don't do shit.
13
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,440
I could say the same about you.
14
00:01:02,580 --> 00:01:05,180
And I'm surprised you'd leave us.
15
00:01:05,459 --> 00:01:08,180
I thought for sure you'd want to watch
your friends in the final round.
16
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,280
Those losers aren't my friends.
17
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,660
Fuck them. And fuck you, you weirdo. I
just want to get out of here.
18
00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:16,300
You are delightful.
19
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,460
And I would wish you bon voyage.
20
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:26,020
But you've got to peek at something you
shouldn't have.
21
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,740
I didn't see anything.
22
00:01:29,180 --> 00:01:31,720
Good. There is nothing to see.
23
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:33,500
Maybe that's why I didn't see it.
24
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:34,419
See what?
25
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:35,420
Exactly.
26
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,640
Oh, and if it's all the same, I'd like
to have you as my guest for the final
27
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:43,640
round.
28
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,520
Just to be safe.
29
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:51,100
It'd be my fucking pleasure.
30
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,380
Thunderbolt!
31
00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:58,760
Rise and shine!
32
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:03,880
The final round of the tournament is
here. In honor of your last morning as
33
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,320
guest, I've arranged a special treat.
34
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,280
Who loves breakfast?
35
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,260
All righty, let's do bacon and cheddar
on the first one. On the second one,
36
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,060
let's go a little more intercontinental.
37
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:22,980
So let's do mushy, feta, and... Oh, is
that pesto? Oh, yeah, let's do that.
38
00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:25,440
And for you, cheese.
39
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,540
Not so much to say now that all your
little buddies are gone, huh? I can make
40
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:31,540
new buddies.
41
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,020
But you only had one, and now it's gone.
42
00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:44,930
would want me to kill you and i will in
his honor god you're a
43
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:51,270
fool you've had it in for me ever since
i came to blackfield blackfield was my
44
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:56,010
asylum i was the most popular murderer
and then you show up like king shit of
45
00:02:56,010 --> 00:03:01,390
fuck mountain nobody steals my spotlight
oh i'm gonna be stealing a lot more
46
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:02,950
than that when this is all said and done
47
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,320
It's going to be a pleasure to finally
put you in the ground.
48
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,980
Yeah, I bet you think you're going to
suck me inside of you. And I'm telling
49
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:13,920
right now, it ain't happening. I don't
want you inside of me. I want you dead.
50
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:15,900
Your omelet, sir.
51
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,260
Oh, is that a salsa bar?
52
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:20,960
Me, I'm a hundred.
53
00:03:35,150 --> 00:03:36,590
how much better sex in a bed is.
54
00:03:37,270 --> 00:03:38,390
Should we tell them?
55
00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:41,550
All I know is you couldn't hit that
angle in roadkill.
56
00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:47,448
Hey,
57
00:03:47,450 --> 00:03:55,410
where
58
00:03:55,410 --> 00:03:56,410
are you going?
59
00:03:57,930 --> 00:03:58,930
Come back.
60
00:03:59,130 --> 00:04:01,090
That's all we know. The tournament can
start tomorrow.
61
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,930
You should try and relax.
62
00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:04,390
I just...
63
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,410
I need to be ready.
64
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:09,330
I feel like I'm standing at the edge of
a cliff.
65
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,670
Yeah, my stomach is all twisted, too.
66
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,810
Look, if you worry we're not going to
win... It's not that.
67
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,230
I'm worried what it'll take to win.
68
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:26,150
We knew Calypso wasn't going to make it
easy on us.
69
00:04:27,570 --> 00:04:31,970
That's what makes your wish, our wish,
worth it.
70
00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:39,960
But if we both make it through this...
John, if we both make it, that means we
71
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:45,060
each gotta get through Raven and Sweet
Tooth and Grimm. I know it sounds
72
00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,880
impossible. That's putting it lightly.
The odds are against us.
73
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,100
Fuck the odds.
74
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:53,220
We keep fighting until we don't have to
anymore.
75
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,580
That's all we can do.
76
00:04:57,740 --> 00:04:58,740
Right?
77
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,640
We keep fighting.
78
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:06,000
Huh. I noticed you didn't mention Mike
or Stu.
79
00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:08,040
Oh, yeah. Maybe we can win.
80
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,800
We're almost at the finish line.
81
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,480
This is it.
82
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,360
That's all I got left of Dave.
83
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:08,780
It was simple, but also complex, you
know?
84
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,900
Anyway, made a full rest as he lived.
85
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:14,900
Chill as hell.
86
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:19,580
Are you sure?
87
00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:21,220
Yes.
88
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:22,500
It's the only way.
89
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:24,640
You do it.
90
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:26,420
Not strong enough.
91
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:32,980
It's done now.
92
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,820
I know Dave was an eater of man.
93
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,760
He probably would have eaten my ass,
too.
94
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:57,540
When I was alone out there, man, he...
He had my back.
95
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,720
I should have come back for you.
96
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,220
I was a coward.
97
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,820
My best friend was probably murdered,
and I just sat there and let it happen.
98
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:10,980
Never again, dude.
99
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,200
I'd fucking die for you, Mike.
100
00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:16,530
I won't lose you again.
101
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,430
We ain't dying today.
102
00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:21,750
Go get that wish.
103
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:23,250
Hell yeah, we are.
104
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:27,510
Fuck you. Bring it here, man.
105
00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:33,690
I'm sorry. It's okay. Love you, bud. I
love you, too.
106
00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:35,930
We need to let May down easy.
107
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:39,570
She assumes she's coming with us. Right,
that's what I'm saying. If you break it
108
00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:41,290
to her easy, she might be more chill.
109
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,500
Okay, she won't, but she'll listen to
you. She looks up to you. Yes, I know.
110
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,600
That's because I'm a cool friend. You're
more of like an authority figure.
111
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:49,820
Like a dad.
112
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,960
I do not give off dad vibes.
113
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,900
Says the man who grunts when he stands
up.
114
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:57,260
Okay,
115
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:58,800
all right. Rochambeau for it.
116
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,300
Ready?
117
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,300
What the hell is that? It's a gun.
118
00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:07,760
Gun beats tire, tire beats road.
119
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:10,440
No, that's not how you play.
120
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,460
Also, rock, crack, gun. I win.
121
00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:16,340
Damn it, I never thought about a rock.
122
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,000
Mayhem? Where the hell is she?
123
00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:50,050
Oh, fine. Thanks for the hand, dude.
124
00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:54,770
So, uh, does anybody else have a bag on
their head?
125
00:08:55,190 --> 00:08:56,190
DRIVERS!
126
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:44,540
These six drivers compete round after
round, destroying anyone and everyone
127
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:45,620
stands in their way.
128
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:53,260
They've been watching us the entire
time?
129
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:54,640
Come on, Stuart.
130
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,720
Let's scoot out of here.
131
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:57,620
Listen to them.
132
00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,300
They love me.
133
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,600
Yes!
134
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,000
Fucking sheep.
135
00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:08,150
I've never seen this many people in one
place before.
136
00:10:08,370 --> 00:10:09,249
I know.
137
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:10,250
So many.
138
00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:12,750
And half of them hate us.
139
00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:14,550
Oh, shit. There's mayhem.
140
00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:15,930
She's got good seats.
141
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:17,270
You think she's okay?
142
00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:20,230
She seems fine.
143
00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:23,770
It's better up there with him than she
would be down here with us.
144
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:31,670
Today, insiders and outsiders join each
other
145
00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:32,670
in celebration.
146
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:38,880
And is there a day more appropriate for
unity than Christmas?
147
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,720
This time of year was always about hope.
148
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:51,560
And my drivers have shown you that if
you work hard enough and pull yourself
149
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,840
by your hubcaps, you too can achieve
miracles.
150
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,360
You can have your greatest wish granted.
151
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,940
Think I'm missing some here, Stu. What's
with all the wish talk?
152
00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:06,040
It's the entire reason we're here. First
I'm hearing of it.
153
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:10,100
Dude, we talked about the wish in the
weird well room place. You wanted to
154
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:10,659
the coin.
155
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:11,660
I thought he was joshing.
156
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,720
Joshing? Why would he be joshing?
157
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:16,440
I don't know. I mean, he seems like a
josher. You know, sneaky.
158
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,140
The type of guy to make you throw away a
perfectly good coin in some dirty water
159
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:21,660
and then laugh about it with his friends
afterwards.
160
00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:23,220
I'm no asshole still.
161
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,600
But you are a moron.
162
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,920
I wish for all the walls to come down.
163
00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:44,830
wish. You simply must be the last
contestant driving.
164
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:52,770
This day shall henceforth be known as a
new holiday.
165
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:57,390
The day of Twisted Metal!
166
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:34,540
I'm not alone, cause the TV's on, yeah.
167
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:36,340
Hey, hey!
168
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,420
Dude, what are you doing? Sorry, of
course I have it. Get in!
169
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:42,220
Ha ha ha!
170
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:44,620
Ha ha ha!
171
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,380
Ha ha ha!
172
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,920
Ha ha ha!
173
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:55,180
Which one of you motherfuckers is first?
174
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,120
Woo! This feels right, baby!
175
00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:00,340
Ha ha ha!
176
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,020
I can't do it, man. You're going to have
to drive, too.
177
00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:09,380
With what? Calypso combined my thigh.
You're going to have to steer with it.
178
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:11,460
I'll take the pedal. Are you kidding me?
179
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:16,660
Farewell, my son.
180
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,320
Take time.
181
00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:04,590
Looks like your friends are already on
the ropes
182
00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:11,770
Interesting. And here I thought these
two were making you soft.
183
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:17,510
I've always said that family, friends,
they make you weak.
184
00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:21,310
Strength comes from standing on your
own.
185
00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:26,150
I see that strength in you.
186
00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:30,390
Can I interest you in some elk cheese?
187
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:32,670
It's delightfully gamey.
188
00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:02,670
I always liked you quiet. Gosh, not too
long ago, you were a little fishy in my
189
00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:06,850
tank. I'm glad you got out, because
chasing you down is way more fun.
190
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:08,790
How? You're so goddamn fast!
191
00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:13,010
Oh, there you are.
192
00:15:13,690 --> 00:15:14,870
Kill you later, quiet.
193
00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:16,550
You're mine.
194
00:15:18,590 --> 00:15:19,590
John,
195
00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:21,890
where are you coming with me?
196
00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:09,410
One car down, and five to go.
197
00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:17,510
Where you going, Grim?
198
00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:21,370
Oh, what have we here?
199
00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:28,070
Grim's my main course, but your nasty
little ass can be my appetizer.
200
00:16:30,330 --> 00:16:31,830
Stop trying to fuck me!
201
00:16:32,270 --> 00:16:33,650
Good thing I brought protection.
202
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,240
Here comes the pain.
203
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,980
A shield?
204
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,640
That's not the spirit of the game.
Fucking cheater!
205
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,000
Ha ha, kiss me and I'll kiss you back.
206
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:17,490
you doing honestly it's pretty badass
cheat codes pathetic
207
00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:23,250
who wants it next i want carnage not
trickery
208
00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:41,690
All I need is four.
209
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,230
There.
210
00:17:45,590 --> 00:17:46,590
Balance restored.
211
00:17:47,350 --> 00:17:48,430
Are you enjoying the show?
212
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:55,270
Come on, John.
213
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:56,490
Come on, quiet.
214
00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,310
Hey, could you help get them off my ass,
please?
215
00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:13,929
All right, Raven.
216
00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:15,270
Now sit. You and me.
217
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:22,310
I had you all set up to win, but you
threw it all away.
218
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:11,820
You didn't drive for me. You suck at
this. Hey, Raven.
219
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:14,580
Get fucked.
220
00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:27,620
Kiss my ass, Raven.
221
00:20:31,409 --> 00:20:34,450
Okay, dummy, you go left, I go right. I
mean, mix it up a little.
222
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:38,069
Raven's out.
223
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,070
We're almost there.
224
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:41,350
He's trying to line up Grim, but he's
squirrely.
225
00:20:43,650 --> 00:20:44,650
Hey,
226
00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:46,030
that killer's mine.
227
00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:48,510
Does dibs mean nothing to you people?
228
00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:55,050
Wait, does your roadkill have the red
lever?
229
00:20:58,170 --> 00:20:59,190
Fuck yeah, it does.
230
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:00,630
Line him up.
231
00:21:00,670 --> 00:21:01,770
Uh,
232
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:04,230
predictable.
233
00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:07,570
Right.
234
00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:10,070
Now!
235
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:12,350
Oh,
236
00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:25,790
yeah,
237
00:21:26,090 --> 00:21:27,310
that's the stuff.
238
00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:13,940
Hands and dozies now.
239
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:16,300
Hey!
240
00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:18,740
Hey! This doesn't concern you.
241
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:26,340
You can kill me.
242
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:30,280
But at the end of the day, you'll still
be a sad, pathetic clown.
243
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,560
Mark it!
244
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:36,900
But everyone will know my name.
245
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:39,760
Satan!
246
00:22:55,370 --> 00:22:56,690
Oh wait, I can.
247
00:23:02,610 --> 00:23:09,010
Now, time for the real fun to begin.
248
00:23:11,410 --> 00:23:15,370
We're close to the end, folks, but I
have a feeling some of you out there
249
00:23:15,370 --> 00:23:17,190
love a little twist.
250
00:23:22,430 --> 00:23:23,630
What's the final round?
251
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,960
without a final boss.
252
00:24:36,110 --> 00:24:39,630
It's wonderful, isn't it? I mean, yes,
you could have worn them, but it's
253
00:24:39,630 --> 00:24:41,750
this way. They'll never hold you back
again.
254
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:47,110
Now,
255
00:24:50,770 --> 00:24:57,790
who's
256
00:24:57,790 --> 00:24:58,790
that thing?
257
00:24:59,430 --> 00:25:01,330
A robot or a monster.
258
00:25:02,110 --> 00:25:03,370
A robot monster?
259
00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:07,940
Okay tough guy, game on.
260
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,480
Here we go.
261
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,980
God dammit!
262
00:25:31,060 --> 00:25:33,640
Well, guess we gotta do this the old
fashioned way.
263
00:25:43,820 --> 00:25:45,060
Kiss this motherfucker's ass.
264
00:27:21,929 --> 00:27:26,350
I have no idea, but I'm starting to
think Calypso might not want anybody to
265
00:27:26,350 --> 00:27:27,329
this tournament.
266
00:27:27,330 --> 00:27:30,630
Why go through all this trouble?
Question for another day. Right now I'm
267
00:27:30,630 --> 00:27:32,090
wondering how to beat this son of a
bitch.
268
00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:14,740
Hey,
269
00:28:20,380 --> 00:28:22,920
John, remind me. How's Roadkill's
turning radius?
270
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:25,840
Fucking awesome!
271
00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:32,060
Now let's show this big red motherfucker
what roadkill has made him. You got it.
272
00:28:32,060 --> 00:28:33,060
Lock him on.
273
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:43,500
Found a weak spot on his back.
274
00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:47,420
Okay, I take left, you take right. We'll
outflank them together.
275
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:48,740
Wouldn't want it any other way.
276
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,080
Game over.
277
00:30:58,030 --> 00:30:59,030
Wake up, dude!
278
00:30:59,170 --> 00:31:00,170
Mike!
279
00:31:04,330 --> 00:31:05,730
I'm so sorry, man.
280
00:31:07,910 --> 00:31:09,090
You didn't deserve this.
281
00:31:09,310 --> 00:31:10,310
I love you, man.
282
00:31:10,810 --> 00:31:11,810
Wake up!
283
00:31:15,270 --> 00:31:16,270
I'll avenge you.
284
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:18,750
I promise.
285
00:31:35,850 --> 00:31:36,850
All right, you crazy fuck.
286
00:31:36,890 --> 00:31:38,330
Time to feel the wrath of...
287
00:31:38,330 --> 00:31:44,430
Wait a minute.
288
00:31:44,830 --> 00:31:45,830
Where is everyone?
289
00:31:55,550 --> 00:31:56,550
Ah.
290
00:31:58,210 --> 00:31:59,210
Okay.
291
00:32:00,410 --> 00:32:04,750
Ladies and gentlemen, please
congratulate the victors.
292
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:06,660
Mike and Stu!
293
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,840
Oh wait, Mike's dead.
294
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,300
Uh, just Stu!
295
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,200
I won?
296
00:32:41,580 --> 00:32:44,420
I will be leaving now, you greasy
-haired little bitch.
297
00:32:45,020 --> 00:32:46,020
I tried.
298
00:32:46,780 --> 00:32:48,080
Go on. Go to them.
299
00:32:50,140 --> 00:32:51,640
Not going to batter soon anyway.
300
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:55,680
We did it, Mike.
20152
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