Original subtitles

Congratulations, one and all, and welcome to Twisted Metal.

There are rules here.

No killing outside of an official round.

But they're also perfect.

I provided delightful accommodations for you. Great. High school.

It's bringing back, like, so many memories.

Crazy. I've seen the way you're acting with mine, and I don't like it. I

freaking love it.

The last driver behind the wheel gets their wish granted.

One wish per car.

I wish for all the walls to come down in every city, everywhere.

Matt, I wish to bring Krista back to life.

I did something about a quiet back.

I don't know what I'm going to do about it, man. I never lied to him.

I can't afford another day like this. John! I'm black and black.

I've never seen you like this. What's going on?

I lied to you, quiet.

I made my own way.

Morning.

What can I get you?

I need an anniversary cake.

Feeds eight.

Express delivery.

That's a big -ass cake.

It's a special occasion.

Where are my tap?

You got it.

Looks like someone had a wet dream.

The fuck?

Can I kiss?

I'm not being selfish. You made your own wish and didn't tell me. You put our

lives, the mission, all of us in danger. This is why I didn't want to tell you.

And that's pretty fucking selfish.

What the hell are you looking at?

A lonely soul.

But you could always join us.

Fuck off, rim job.

Looks like that hot potato's back on the market.

Really? No more, John.

Good.

It's easier to pick off if they're weak.

Like little fishies.

wish for a million fucking things, but this is bigger than us, and you are

an asshole for not getting that. Fuck, I can't even look at you right now.

No problem.

I'm leaving.

Trying to wash the odor of betrayal off your hot little body?

That's right, stinky titties. Everyone in here knows what happened.

Because the walls are paper thin.

I didn't betray anybody.

Oh, okay.

Keep telling yourself that, tough guy.

Berman knows the truth.

Actually, I have to go this way.

Somebody's got to fix these lights.

When I took the Hippocratic Oath, I swore that I would uphold the best

of all my patients.

I appreciate the concern, Doc.

I'm in the best shape of my life.

Actually, that's why I wanted to speak with you. I received the results of your

physical exam.

And, well, there's no easy way to say this, but I found something.

Wait. Are you serious, Doc?

Yes.

I thought I'd have more time.

Life is so incredibly precious, isn't it?

All right.

Go check her code and hit me straight.

I can take it.

You're sterile.

Oh. Well, that explains the wheel crash.

No, no.

That's psoriasis. Being sterile means that you can't have children.

I can have as many children as I want.

I mean, uh, kidnapping.

I mean biologically.

Let me explain.

You see, the testicles, they make the sperm.

I got plenty of testicles. What seems to be the problem?

Actually, you have too many testicles. And unfortunately, none of them work.

Yours can't make sperm.

Do you understand?

No.

No, I do not.

I can tell by your grunting you and the chatty man are at war.

Unfortunate.

A good cock is a terrible thing to waste.

If you no longer have use, shall I have him? You don't need to ask me.

John does what he wants.

Fuck you, make his own wish, jump off a fucking building. I don't care anymore.

Excellent.

I'm glad you approve.

For even in the Arctic wasteland I call home, to violate the girl code would

be...

Now nobody's getting in.

I can't get my gas.

We're all gonna die.

I'm sorry!

That was a waste of a shower.

You saved me.

For now.

I plan on eviscerating you in the next round, but first we need to take care of

these fuckers.

Get your ass up.

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, well, I don't know. I thought you were like an evil basketball dude or

something. Evil basketball dude? What the fuck is that?

We've been living with the abominable snow tits and a bug fucker. How am I the

asshole here?

Where are you going?

To find Quiet.

I have to make sure she's okay.

Yikes. Do you want to do that?

You don't know the full story. I know you screwed up.

Relationships are built on trust, John. These are complicated emotions and you

wouldn't understand.

Oh, I wouldn't? I'm a divorcee.

Is that fucking Freddy Krueger?

You think they were going to die?

Because if the dude with metal arms is scared, we're fucked.

Hey. Hey there, Gilbert Grape.

What's eating you?

I can't fight without the gas, man.

If I can't fight, I can't kill. We're all fucking dead.

Eat it, man. I need the gas.

I need that shit. Hey, man, it's cool. Nobody has their wheels this round. I

don't need it for my wheels, dumbass.

I need it for me.

I drink it.

I'm a killing machine powered by pure premium unleaded.

Okay, that's very different.

Let's leave the opinions outside, Stewart.

There's a judgment -free zone up in here.

He said he drank the gas up in here.

You're saying you need the gas in here.

Is it what you need in here?

Dave, Dave, Dave.

I think we both know what time it is.

I'm picking up what you're putting down, Michael.

Grab some chairs.

You got it, bud.

Uh, what time is it? It's time for Dave to turn this shit around.

That's what time it is.

Didn't you hear Calypso? There's a group of psychos trying to kill us. If Axel's

our best fighter, let's just get him the gas.

Axel's most important fight is the one from within.

Gentlemen, we're having an intervention.

What?

You're gonna love it.

Any idea who these bottom feeders are? The Apocalypse Nine. They're fucking

nuts. You know why their skin is yellow?

They burn their nerve endings so they don't feel shit.

So where's John? I thought you assholes couldn't go anywhere alone.

None of your business.

So it's true then. You made a different wish.

Please, you don't think these gossipy bitches talk?

I'm out here thinking about the greater good of all humanity. You potentially

fucking had all up just thinking about yourself.

So what did he wish for?

To bring his sister back to life.

Oh, interesting.

What is that supposed to mean?

I don't know. It seems like the type of guy to wish for an elephant -sized dong

or a house made of candy.

A psychopath would do something like that.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the popular girls.

God, I'm going to shit my fucking shorts.

Surprised? I guess I'm not as prim and proper as you thought I was.

Well, it looks like you've got this covered. Yeah, we're going to go snuff

the rest of these fuckers. Wait.

Oh, I just can say good luck.

With wherever you're going.

I'll just... I'll just be here.

By myself.

Not by myself.

With you, of course.

Do you want to come with us?

Looks like these worker ants just became a colony.

We need weapons Quit

playing around I'm trying to figure out a way out of this don't hurt yourself

I've been surviving out here since I was a kid. I know what I'm doing. Oh, yeah

Twelve. Seven.

Well, it was the start of the apocalypse when shit was really hard. Oh, yeah, I

bet it was so hard to have tons of supplies and food to loot.

Everything was picked over by the time my generation got to them. See, you want

everything handed to you.

When I was a kid, you had to get a car and go buy this. A car?

What car? None of them were left after the old -timers like you took them all.

God, I bet back in your day, you could trip, fall, and smack your head into a

car.

No. Yeah, well, you should have joined a group or something.

You don't think that I tried?

Everyone that I found out there was a weirdo sex pest or a lunatic. I never

found people who wanted me around.

Who actually got me.

I know that feeling.

All right, come on. What happened between you guys?

We got in a fight.

A big one.

She told me she couldn't stand the sight of me.

So?

So I left.

So you took the easy way out.

Classic bitch move.

So?

You have any ideas?

One.

Good haul today.

Save me the heads. I like to suck the eyes.

The hell?

Let me try.

It's locked.

Be noticed.

Where the hell did they come from?

Hello?

Holy shit!

These guys are fast!

Look, man, I know that talking about the past isn't easy, but we don't judge.

This is a safe space.

I feel like this is actually a dangerous space.

Do we really have time for this? One of those vents probably leads to the garage

where the gas is. Hey, Stu, trust the process.

Go ahead, Axel.

My life started out fine enough.

But things got harder until my dad left.

That's tough.

It's okay.

If I'm being honest, losing my wife was harder.

Goddamn. She cheated on me with my dad.

Wow. Wow.

Well, I'm sure karma came for those two.

It didn't.

They got married and moved to Napa.

Me, I stayed in Louisiana.

Work was hard to come by.

Took on a lot of debt from... Wrong people.

So you started drinking gas?

No.

I had to work off what I owed.

Oh. Not killing.

Oh.

Then one day I got a job.

It's a usual assignment.

Eliminate everyone.

But they forgot to mention one thing.

A baby.

So you're haunted by killing a baby. Bitch, I didn't kill no baby.

I'd never kill a kid.

Of course not.

But I got the child out of there.

And we went on the run.

For a long time, it was just the two of us on the road.

Those were good days.

Some of the best in my life.

You know what I mean? You did save the kid.

Frank, you should be proud of yourself, brother.

One night.

Vultures raided my camp.

I fought as hard as I could, but they knocked me out.

The last thing I remember is that baby screaming.

When I came to, the kid was gone.

So I went looking for her.

Then I met the scientist, Zimu.

He said he helped me find her.

Instead, he trapped me, tortured me, did experiments.

He took away my hands.

Put me in the wheels.

And that's when the gas came in.

That's when you started drinking the gas. All I had were my wheels and that

can. So to forget, I took it straight to the dome.

Look, guys, I know what's going on here.

You think the gas controls you.

But you were murdering people before the gas.

Look, man, on the real, I used to eat human flesh.

It's fucking gross.

And it turned me into a different person. But eventually, I learned to

myself, and I moved the fuck on.

With a little help from a friend.

It's easy for you to say.

It's just me and my wheels.

Then lean on us.

You're not alone anymore.

We believe in you even if you don't right now.

We know that you could murder anyone you put your mind to murdering.

Stone cold soaps. I couldn't have done it better.

Beautiful stuff, Stu.

You want action?

Here I am, motherfucker!

So he wished for his sister to come back? How is that selfish exactly?

Yeah, it's not like he wished for, like, a bug body or beetle wings or, like, a

bigger dick or something.

Fine. What he wished for wasn't exactly selfish.

But he still risked the mission.

He risked your mission.

Guess he thought saving one person was more important. I agree.

That doesn't change the fact that he kept it a secret from me. We're supposed

have each other's backs.

Are you really that fucking dense?

Do you know how many times John tried to escape my city to get back to you?

Fifteen times!

The dumbass even cracked his head open falling from a hang glider made of pizza

boxes. He's not a thinker.

God, you two morons are made for each other.

Excuse me.

Here comes the boo.

Did I ever tell you girlies about Ronald?

Ronald Hinckley. He was the love of my life.

He had a shiny little pony hair, and he was a soprano in the ninth grade choir.

Oh, yeah. I used to get such a snail trail when he'd sing, No

one cares!

One summer, he was at Camp Finch, and I was all the way, a mile away,

at Camp Skodak.

So you know what we did?

We snuck out at night so that we could see each other.

We made it work.

You know why?

Because despite our differences, we win love.

What happened to Ronald?

Oh, I dumped his ass when he wouldn't put out.

You guys know what I'm talking about, huh? Only so much second base you can do

before you need to slide into home.

Shit.

Do you have anything for us, John?

I mean, it might have been to do. I don't know. Should we go check?

Oh, should we go check?

Maybe we could do it more.

You good?

Yeah. Yeah, why? I guess I'm on me.

Holy shit, that was crazy. How'd you come up with that? I hid out in a

blockbuster for a month.

Survived off nothing but stale candy and horror movies.

Horror movies? Hell no. That's too scary.

Oh, pussy.

Come on, horror movies are great. Although I refuse to watch Deep Blue

not fuck with the ocean or the shit that lives in it. It's way too scary.

Finally, someone understanding that the ocean sucks.

The way we took that guy down. If we stick together, we can... Shit!

Don't!

Run!

Thank God you're alive.

Well, I'm a dumb jinx, Ed.

Out of my way.

There was this kid who got into an accident and caught it coming

to school. But when he finally came back, his

hair had turned from black into bright white.

He said that it was from when the guns were smashing so...

God, he's on our side.

Yeah, for now.

I did it.

I killed without the gas.

You did so good, bro.

Hey, you swatted those 12 steps.

Awesome. Awesome stuff, Axel.

Uh, real talk, I don't know if taking away this guy's one weakness was the

idea.

Sue! Oh, there you are.

I don't know about you, but I have had quite the day.

Long story short, the doctor said my nuts are broken, so I won't be shitting

a baby anytime soon.

And it made me think and reevaluate my life for what I want.

I'm adopting you, son.

Oh, wow.

Uh, what?

All right, squirt.

Not too old to play catch with your old man, are you?

Yeah. Come on, champ.

Gotta keep your eye on the head.

as a team.

Too bad, because next round is every man for himself.

Can we talk?

Yeah.

I messed up real bad.

You did.

I made a snap decision.

I regret it.

When Chris died, we didn't really have time to process it.

I'm sorry for that.

It's happened so fast.

If you ever want to talk about her, just ask.

I think you should have it.

We can fix this.