Original subtitles

Previously on BH90210.

They start shooting in three days. This whole show is in the brink of imploding

before we even film it. I care about Jason Priestley.

Wow. You son of a bitch slept with my wife and got her pregnant. It's all my

fault your wife wasn't being satisfied at home.

I'm the new head writer.

We need to fix the script. You make me want to draw a warm bath and split my

wrist. Why are you helping me? I'm trying this new thing where I don't make

all about me.

This doesn't change how I feel about you. How could it not, Cam?

You say you're into women now and I'm not a woman. I can't get involved with a

client. I want to call Fox. I don't know how to be refined.

You believe that you don't measure up. I think you do. I'm starting to have

feelings for Brian again.

Zach, you're a stalker. You're a thief.

I'm your son.

There's still a stalker out there. It's scary.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Back from a sold -out world tour.

The one and only... David Silver!

Thank you, thank you. It's nice being back here in the Peach Pit after dark.

Let's do this.

Baby, if you, girl... Got

together...

Every time I look at you, all I see is forever.

High drama on the set of 90210. The original writer fired and replaced by a

writer with zero credits.

Rumor has it she might be cozying up to newly single Ian Ziering.

The hottest reboot in town got hotter when a massive fire destroyed most of

set, which has director Jason Priestley working day and night desperately trying

to figure out how to get the show back on the road.

Sources say the production is millions of dollars over budget, yet so far has

failed to suit a single scene.

And of course, there are the usual reports of diva -like behavior from

ladies Jenny Garth and Shannon Doherty.

Perhaps the always dependable Gabrielle Carteris will help them weather this

storm.

Which will be sorely needed with reports of financially troubled Tori Spelling

unraveling. Tori says so much reality. I forgot she used to ask.

You guys feel nervous?

I mean, the fact that we're actually shooting today? As long as someone

burn down the rest of our sets, we're good.

Yeah, I'm nervous, but I'm excited to work with you guys.

Good morning!

Morning! Hey! I found this sweet little angel wandering the lot all by himself.

He could get hit by a truck.

Isn't he sweet?

Oh, yeah. Cute little put -em. I guess I'm rescuing yet another dog, because

could say no to that face? He's like a gremlin.

Hey. Oh.

Sham? Yeah. That's Muso.

What is? That dog? That's actually my dog, Musso. I guess the kids let him out

of my trailer.

Are you sure?

Yep. This is your dog?

Yep. Is he microchipped?

Yes. Are you sure?

Yeah, definitely.

Will you give me the dog? Give her the dog already.

Poor thing, you know? Thanks, Jan.

You guys, I can't believe that we're really doing this. I know. No turning

now, bitches. Nope.

The cameras are rolling.

I should have gotten more Botox. Remember when we used to not be so self

-conscious about the way we looked?

No. I think at a certain point we should just sort of, you know, embrace the

fact that we're aging. Because it's beautiful, kind of. At least you guys

have to do a sex scene. I was self -conscious about those when I was 20.

Right? They were always a little awkward.

Thanks, that's helping.

Do you think the guys get awkward?

No, I think they like it. They did seem to get a little excited sometimes,

right? Yeah, they're acting like they get a little... Stiff. A little wooden.

Just saying.

But it's embarrassing for them, too, right?

I don't know. Why don't you ask Brian when you do your love scene with him?

if he's got a stiffy. Ooh, yeah. What if that happens?

I don't know what's worse, if it does happen or if it doesn't happen.

Why does my first scene up have to be a love scene with Brian?

Who cares? It's going to be easy. I mean, he has so much experience from the

past with him in my house. Oh, my God. Always your house.

Come on, Tor.

You guys are married. You have kids.

I'm not like your teenagers anymore.

Yeah, it's just Brian.

Yeah, it's just Brian.

It's just Brian.

Hey,

Brian.

Hey.

I am so sorry that I've been radio silent for the past couple days. I need

time to process all this, you know?

Finding out who you were, who you are. It's completely my fault. Not your

I don't know if there's a right way to do all this, you know?

I hope not.

Hey, the good news is, I've got a son.

Yeah, I guess so. If you're cool with that.

Of course I'm cool with that.

Is Shay pissed?

I didn't tell her yet.

You don't want to tell her?

No, no, no. I totally want to tell her. I just want to make sure it's the right

time.

Okay.

So given the circumstances of you being my assistant, it's a little weird now.

Yeah, I kind of saw this coming. I was thinking maybe instead of that, you

work here at the show.

For real? Yeah, that would be amazing.

Like doing what?

Like a PA kind of thing.

Okay. I think I can pull some strings around the zip code. All right, sign me

up.

Greens are pretty fast today.

Oh! Hi!

Why is golf on this early in the morning?

It's the golf channel.

Well, why don't I give you something more interesting to watch than golf?

Oh, yeah?

You're not even supposed to be in here. You know that, right? I thought you were

getting reassigned.

They're having a hard time finding a replacement.

Why? All the other guys are scared of you.

Well, I guess you're stuck with me then.

That's okay, because I've decided to waive my no -dating -a -client policy.

You know, I was thinking, maybe tonight we could drive over to Sherman Oaks.

Oh. Play a little game of putt -putt.

Oh.

That sounds great.

At least no one will see us.

I hope my rewrite works.

They change their mind every five minutes. What sets the rebuilding?

Well, that's nothing new.

Are you nervous?

Nervous? Heck no.

Playing Steve Sanders is like falling off a bike.

Look, Anna, your rewrite is great.

You worked hard on it. Own it. I worked hard on it the first time, too, and I

got smacked down. We all get smacked down. But you honored the struggle and

brought the work that excellence requires.

Geez, Ian, you're starting to sound like a life coach.

You deserve to celebrate the success and share in the joy.

I'll try and keep that in mind. No, you won't.

But I'll keep reminding you.

We should Netflix and chill sometime.

Totally. Need you on set.

They need all the actors on the Peach Pit set.

I gotta go.

Me too.

Clear the set. Everybody except

actors. Clear the set, please.

What's up?

We're the set. What's going on? What's going on is that no one will insure this

production as long as there's an active threat out there. We don't need

insurance. Yes, we do.

This is one of the only sets that didn't burn down in the fire.

Who's the insurance company? Let's give them a call.

You guys are delusional.

On a good day, it's helpful.

Maybe, but today's a bad day.

We're getting shut down. No!

I just told Jason.

He took it pretty well.

Unbelievable. Yeah, it's so easy to believe.

And on top of everything else, We have an HR investigation.

Oh, that sucks.

You can't say that.

It bites.

You can't say that. It blows.

Nothing with a mouth.

What they want to know is that this deranged loon is a disgruntled employee.

It's 2019.

Zero tolerance toward any inappropriate behavior.

I miss the 90s. Me too. Me too.

I'm good. So be on your best behavior and pray these investigators come up

something. We can't keep getting shut down. How do we continue to film?

I don't know. Go find a lunatic. Let's find a lunatic. Oh, I found a lunatic.

have professionals on this. Yeah, because they've been doing such a great

Okay, well, if you can do better, Scooby -Doo, have at it. But until then, be

ready to clean out your trailers by the end of the day.

Hey, Chris, I'm sorry. Are you avoiding me? I mean, you haven't talked to me

since, you know. No, no, it's not that. It's just, given all this HR stuff,

things have gotten really complicated.

What are you talking about?

In terms of our business relationship, you're an employee, and that puts me at

risk. Oh, wait, but everything that's going on, you're telling me that the

network cares who you sleep with?

Hashtag me too.

And I need you to sign a consent form.

What? Consent form saying that you consent to have a sexual relationship

me.

If you did me a solid and backdated it, it would really help me out.

This can't be happening. No, it is happening, Tor. Screw him. We're family

we're staying together whether they like it or not. You're right. We're not

giving up. We're going to have to take action then.

Planning and teamwork.

Gabrielle's right.

I mean, if we quit now, this lunatic wins. Well, then we just got to find

creep and get our show back.

Well, then let's go.

Come on, let's go.

Got work to do.

Bring your sandwich.

Okay,

everyone, come on. We need more names. People who have it out for us. We only

have 125 so far, and we need more. I might have accidentally given Christina

Aguilera a side eye when she played The Peach Pit After Dark. You might have.

Accidentally. I thought this was just people we intentionally offended. Now we

have to add accidental? I knew people were holding back, so come on, let's go.

Ivanka Trump.

She headed out for me when I did The Apprentice.

Wayne Newton, very sore loser.

Dancing with the Stars, right? That girl that I dance with, Cheryl... Burke.

Cheryl Burke.

Spelled B -E -R -Z -E -R -K.

Okay. Vanilla Ice.

Why? He knows.

I've really learned to love the people that hate me, like those I -hate -Brenda

-newsletter bitches.

They're very inspirational and so convincing.

Thank you. The prop guy from the first two seasons. How many exes do I have?

Kenobi. Jerry Seinfeld.

Because I stalked him for a really long time. He's hot. I still stalk him, to be

truthful. Cole Hauser hates me. He hates you. Why? Who is Cole Hauser? Exactly.

All the people on Saved by the Bell. Mike Myers.

Paris Hilton. She was nice to me. I'm sure she was. You had sex with Paris

Hilton? You could paint this picture, but I'm not going to frame it. Anakin

Skywalker. He didn't like me.

You know what? This is pointless, guys. Yeah, this is quantity over quality. We

need one name of a person that really hates us.

I gotta get home. Before you do, you guys, I need you to text me at least 25

more names by tomorrow morning. 25? I had trouble coming up with four.

Ooh, Corey Feldman's real life.

Hey, B, if a girl asks you to Netflix and chill, is that a date?

Uh, I don't know.

But if it is, it sounds like a cheap one.

You know what?

Let's get our steps in.

Let's take the stairs. The stairs?

Yes.

What is wrong with you?

Everything.

Well,

even if T was wrong, this place is pretty cool.

Yeah, and only a two -hour drive from L .A. At least it was a comfortable ride.

How would you know? You were sleeping.

Yeah, because there's all this space in the third row.

Hey, you guys made it. Hey, yeah, we did.

Still need to secure the perimeter, check out ingress and egress in case

something goes down. You know that when you talk dirty.

Hey, Costner, you allowed to date the clients?

Gone rogue.

Besides, I'll be the one laughing when you're barbecued and chopped into little

bits. Take it easy. Pretty dark, Jen.

Tori, you sure you want to do this?

Absolutely. Let's go.

Grab at it.

Want to get a beer?

Unfortunately, I'm the designated driver tonight. I would like a beer, please.

Holy crap.

Man,

is that really him? Yes, it is.

Wait, wait. You know that guy? He was on 90210. Jamie Walters.

Ray Pruitt. Still nothing.

Season six. There was a season six, did they say?

So Ray dated Donna and then Ray pushed Donna down the stairs. It got a little

dark. Yeah, and he took the blame for it in real life.

The actor. Yeah, isn't that crazy?

The fans started hating him because he pushed Donna down the stairs.

Totally messed up his career. Poor guy. Couldn't get arrested after that.

The graffiti that was on our stage door. Stop acting like I'm not even here.

That is exactly what Ray said to Donna before he pushed her down the stairs.

He's the stalker. Mystery solved.

This makes sense. He knows about the reboot. This is triggering him.

It's amazing the things that people hold on to.

Siri, how many seasons of 90210 were there?

Hey, look who's here, everyone.

It's the original cast of 90210.

I love you, Jamie. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming out.

So it was you all along. You're a psycho.

Psycho. Whoa, whoa. What? Stop acting like I'm not even here.

I'm calling the authorities.

Nice to see you guys, too. What are we talking about?

Oh, come on. Like you don't know. Dude, Jamie, you cut my head off. You severed

my limbs.

You sliced my arms.

Jamie, we understand you're mad.

I am not mad.

You're not mad. You're obsessed with us.

Why couldn't nobody answer 911?

Will somebody please tell me what we're talking about here? You threatened us

and stalked us so much that I got freaked out and I had to have a

follow me around.

Listen, whatever you guys think I did... We think you burned down our sets.

What are you talking about? And also, who are you? Who am I? Who are you?

Ray Pruitt?

1T? Season 6?

Yeah, still nothing.

Look, someone burned down our sound stages.

You guys know I quit acting and became a firefighter, right?

I put out fires. I don't start them.

Why are you guys accusing me of this stuff? Because you pushed me down the

stairs. Well, my character.

Remember all the hate mail you got over that?

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much ruined my acting career. You don't think maybe it had

anything to do with that song?

Which was great because I ended up doing something so much better with my life.

A lot more important than being an actor.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, look, I try to help people and save lives.

Oh, my God.

Me too.

Nice. Guys, this is Jason. He says he wants to tell us something. Hey, Jason.

What's up? Long time.

Hey, Jamie. Guys, good news.

They caught the guy who set fire to the stage. We're back.

Never a dull moment for the 90210 reboot.

This evening, Johnson Dietz was arrested in Downey on suspicion of arson and

stalking.

Sources say he's an obsessive 90210 fan who owns a red dress recently stolen by

Tori Spelling at a fan convention.

At this point, we have to wonder, will this reboot ever get off the ground?

Oh, this reboot is totally getting off the ground.

Jamie, I'm so sorry.

For what, ruining my acting career or falsely accusing me of arson and

terrorism?

How can we make it up to you?

I have an idea.

How do you talk to an angel?

How do you hold it close to where you are?

How do you talk to an angel?

It's like trying to catch a falling star.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey, Tori.

What are you guys doing?

Watching golf.

It's the playoff. Masters.

Right. Jen, I have a problem.

They scheduled my sex scene with Brian first up again. Oh, this is the hard

shot. Oh, it's so exciting. I hope he makes it. No, we don't like this guy.

okay. Well, I hope he doesn't. You hate golf.

You hate golf.

I like golf.

She likes golf. You threw your ex -husband's golf clubs out the window.

I don't remember doing that.

Hey, Tori, you should come by after you wrap. We're going to be having a

barbecue. My friend's coming over with this amazing craft brew from his

microbrewery. I love crafting.

Okay.

Um, can I talk to you outside for a second?

Okay.

Who are you?

Come on, I'm having fun.

Look at him, and he's crazy about me.

And the sex.

I forgot it could be so mind -blowing. And I have endorphins again.

Endorphins. Oh, please. You have six kids. It's not like you're not getting

And if you are, stop.

Honestly, the only sex I'm thinking about right now is the scene with Brian.

Okay, why are you so freaked out by this? I don't know.

No, I do know.

Because he was my first.

Now I'm having feelings for him again.

And I have to kiss him under hot lights in front of a crew and act like I'm not

enjoying acting like I'm enjoying it. So enjoy it.

Or don't. It doesn't matter.

Okay? It's just a little sex scene. It's not real.

Like these.

Now go have fun.

How long have you been skating?

Just about a year. That's awesome.

You know what's funny? I was thinking about it. I, uh...

I think I was younger than you when I met your mom.

Yeah, I can do basic math.

Fair enough.

I'm just saying I was young.

Your mom didn't talk about much.

Yeah, she didn't want to.

She didn't even want to tell me about anything.

It's a part of her life she just kind of closed off.

Why? I don't know. I guess...

She came to L .A. thinking she was going to be Julia Roberts or something, and

then she was an extra on 90210, and that's as good as it got.

I totally remember.

We had this small group of extras that worked all the time, and we were kids,

we used to all party together pretty hard. She really doesn't like to talk

that. There you go. She raised a good kid.

Thanks, Brian.

If you want to. I mean, I don't expect you to, but you can totally

call me dad.

Oh. I mean, that's... That was weird.

I forget that I said that.

It's nice of you.

It's just mom has been my mom because she raised me. No, yeah, I don't... I

got to know you. Totally. I don't want this to be weird at all.

Have you told anyone?

I don't think you should.

Why not?

I don't want them to think I pulled any strings getting this PA job.

And I don't think you're ready.

And maybe the ship has sailed on you being dad.

I mean, I'm 20.

I gotta get back to work.

Hey, Brian.

Got some pages here for you. Oh, right on. Cool. Thanks, man.

Yeah. You're welcome, man.

Morning. Hey.

So, I see they have our scene scheduled first up.

Finally got that sex scene you wanted. Yep.

It's been like, oh my God, 20 years since we've done one of these.

Are you feeling nervous?

I am not.

Okay.

So, deep thoughts. Donna and David, how do they maintain such an amazing

marriage after all these years?

Well, Donna and David are an imaginary relationship, so there's that.

I have to work on these lines. I'll see you later, okay?

Good talk.

Thank you for coming in.

Wow. So serious all of a sudden.

Sorry, this whole HR thing has got me really spooked.

I don't think I'm ever going to have sex again.

It's way too risky.

So is this your way of saying... It's not my way of saying anything.

Granted, I'm more of a player than a sayer, but I like you.

A lot.

I think we're kindred spirits. All right, let's not get crazy.

Are you saying if I sign this, you'll date me? Because I am very confused. I

know you are, Gab.

What's the issue? Do you regret having sex with me? Not at all. I just don't

feel like recording it on some gratuitous legal document.

Is it something you're ashamed of? No, but I've only told two other people,

though. Well, I guess you're not ready. See, that's it.

Ready for what? I don't even know what I'm not ready for. Until I figure that

out, why would I go and put it on a piece of paper?

All right, everybody, let's do this. The all -new 90210.

Oh, great.

Now I feel really hot. Let's rehearse, guys.

Nah, these guys don't need to rehearse. You know how to do it, right, guys? Just

like old times.

Well, except it's not just like old times, because it's 20 years later.

All right, we're ready to shoot.

Red light and bell.

Ready? Mm -hmm.

All right.

Okay. Come on in.

Yep. Here I come.

All right, you ready, guys? Here we go.

Scene 28, take one.

And... action.

Donna, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you, David.

Um, wait, can you see this?

What? Jay, are you sure this is a good angle? Should the camera be a little

higher for me?

Tori, you look great, just like you did when you were 19.

Oh, my God.

Jay, shut up. Now I know you're lying.

Are you getting my right side?

Actually, more your left side. No, you know that my right side is my right

Go ahead and cut it.

Let's cut. Jason, can you come here, please? Tori, what are you talking about

your good side, your bad side?

I can barely even see your face in this shot. We're panning across the bed.

Panning? Across what?

Let's not worry about that.

Well, I am worried about it because I'm the one that's half naked in a bed here

and everyone is looking.

And I'm not feeling like I look good. Tori, I don't have time to shoot around

your insecurities. Okay, well, then you're going to have to reschedule when

can find the time.

Sorry, Bri.

Sorry, guys.

So is that lunch?

Hey, how's it going?

It's a little stressful.

Sorry to hear that.

What do you say we grab a drink and unwind after we wrap?

Well, I, uh... Maybe we could Netflix and chill.

That's funny.

You say that like it has quotation marks around it. Those are your words.

Sure.

Let's hang.

Cool, great.

We can go to the often house.

Jason, call me a membership.

Gotta love Jay. He's always working those angles.

I'd offer to pick you up, but... Let's meet there.

Right.

Hey. Sorry about earlier. I just wanted it to be right.

What? Our sex scene. Well, the one that wasn't. I'm not worried about it.

Of course you aren't. Guys never are.

Are you okay?

Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?

I don't know. You just seem distant.

Is it something I did, or...? No, no, no. It's all right. It has nothing to do

with you.

Okay.

Well, I'm here if you want to talk.

All right. All right. I'll let you know.

Hi. Hey.

You okay?

I'm such an idiot.

Why would he possibly want to call me dad?

Because you're his father and he came here looking for you?

20. He's 20 years old. I missed all that. I wasn't there for him.

Brian, I mean, you just met him. You just found out. He asked me if I told

anybody and I had to tell him no because I was embarrassed.

I don't know how to tell people. I don't know how to tell Shay. I don't know how

to tell my other kids.

Okay, let me ask you something. When you asked him to call you dad, did you ask

because it's what you wanted or because you thought it's what he wanted?

Both.

There you have it.

Look, you're father and son. Just focus on Zach right now, and you'll tell

people when the time is right.

Hey, everyone.

Was this a coincidence?

Oh, I think we all needed a drink after today.

I know. We haven't shot a single scene.

It's brutal.

But I have a glass of wine and a tall drink of water, so I'm good.

And I've got a gorgeous woman and a bottle of beer, so I'm good.

You guys are such a cute couple.

Thanks. Yeah, he's a good guy.

Yeah, she's incredible.

She lets me watch golf, pretends that she likes it.

No, I do. I'm not pretending. I do like it.

Yes, there's... Ian, how about a couple of the bourbon apple sangrias? They are

amazing. Sounds interesting.

Excuse me? Yeah. Can we have a couple of the bourbon apple sangrias, please?

Mm -hmm.

You're going to love them. Can't wait.

Hey, how about that new draft? It was great, wasn't it? Anna's worked so hard.

Yeah, it was better.

A lot of rewrites, so it's coming along, I think. Well, rewrites are good.

It works out your writing muscle, which is very strong, by the way. My writing

muscle? This guy is like a one -man support system.

Do what I can to help.

Yes, I am very helpful.

It's like having your own Tony Robbins right there with you all the time. I

the same thing.

What? I didn't say anything.

That grin did.

It's just really adorable seeing you so head over heels.

You're like girlish.

It's really very sweet, Jen.

Almost as sweet as your bourbon apple sangria over there.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm just seeing a lot of life coaching, mentoring.

You know, I'm seeing a lot of spectator sports that I know you have zero

interest in.

I'm trying new things.

Maybe falling into old patterns?

Maybe we both are.

Yeah.

Anna is a lucky girl, but you focus on you.

Thanks. Right back at you.

Love you, Jen.

I love you.

Good night.

I can't believe Jason scheduled my love scene with Brian first thing in the

morning again. It's like he's not even being sensitive to the fact that I want

to feel...

comfortable and look good during it. Otherwise, what's the point of shooting

Did you talk to Brian about it? Yeah, and he says nothing. Like, he literally

saying nothing. I don't know if he's not comfortable with it or if it's me or

what, but it's not working.

Why don't you have him hire an intimacy coordinator?

A what?

That is a good idea, Shannon. An intimacy coordinator. They're like sex

choreographers. They make sure that boundaries are clear and everybody's

comfortable on set.

I'll ask Jason, but I'm sure he won't listen to me like usual.

Well, he needs to listen to us. I mean, I've told him five times I want Kyler's

wardrobe changed.

It's bad enough she has one line in the show. I don't want her saying it in a

bikini. You have me waiting on set for two hours for a scene that we never even

shot. I mean, I could have saved like five pitfalls within that time period.

Give him a break. He's having a hard time at home. He's got a lot of problems

going on. He's just trying to avoid them. Well, he needs to stop avoiding

start listening. I'm not sure he's capable of that right now. Well, he's

to listen to me.

Go grab them, Jen. I'm gonna.

Yeah.

Mr. Director.

Not now, Jenny. I don't have time for you.

Don't call me that.

It's your name.

I don't like it when you say it.

You have no idea the amount of pressure I'm under.

Here or at home?

Don't you worry about what's going on in my home. I will worry about it. It's

affecting me.

Because you're a narcissist.

I'm an actor. We're all narcissists.

It's not just me. It's the whole cast, the whole crew. Everybody is feeling

energy. So whatever your little problem is, you need to fix it and step it up.

Fine.

Great.

I'm thinking about leaving Camille.

Okay, look, don't be dramatic.

You are tired.

It's been a stressful week.

I just... I don't think I can raise another man's kid.

Even for you, that sounds prehistoric.

Ben, I'm a caveman.

You're not evolved enough to be a caveman.

That's funny.

I like to make you laugh.

Okay.

Camille needs you.

Get some sleep.

Don't close my door. Don't close my...

Hey, mate. Yes, sir. Could someone come and open my door? Right away.

Priestley?

Dude, these are the small sides. They need the big ones. I've told you that

five times already.

Jim, why don't you take it easy on the kids? Just learning.

No, I need people here who already know how to do their job, Brian.

I understand that, but don't bring your personal crap or your stress to what,

you know, there's...

to people that are just trying to do their job.

Let's just get back to work.

Don't worry about him.

Thanks, Brian.

You're welcome.

Hey, Jay.

What? Tori, hey, look, I've made some adjustments, but we really need to get

this scene shot today, so if you're having any issues... No, actually, I

because I have hired an intimacy coordinator.

A what?

This is Melanie.

She's going to coach me through the scene.

Ah, Melanie.

Just what I need in another time suck.

She's just going to make me feel confident and not rushed.

Not rushed?

Great.

Hurry up and get in there. Brian's waiting.

Scene 28, take two.

Are you ready, guys? Here we go. And action.

Donna, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I love you, David.

Excuse me?

Yes, Melanie?

It's just that that's not the exact touching that you rehearsed. And I just

to make sure that you feel comfortable.

Yeah, I'm comfortable.

With them brushing against your breath?

Uh, well, Brian's an old friend, so he's brushed against my breath many times.

Brian, are you comfortable brushing against your breasts? Totally

Okay. Okay, are we all comfortable now?

Great. Okay, let's go back to one.

And action.

Donna, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Love you, David.

Excuse me. What now, Melanie? What now, Melanie?

Tori, you just... don't look comfortable. I don't care about looking

comfortable. I want to look good. The two go hand in hand.

Let's try something.

Scene 28, take three. Here we go. And action.

Tony, you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

I love you, David.

You are doing so good. I can't do this. It's like the Handmaid's Tale. And cut.

Cutting. Well, I guess that's lunch.

Yeah, come in.

Hey, what's up?

Jason is impossible.

All he does is he gets me to do these unnecessary rewrites when the network

doesn't even give permission to shoot because we can't afford the sets or the

locations.

We haven't even filmed a single thing today. God, it was like the epitome of

indulgence and arrogance and incompetence. That's my boy.

But do you really think that it's his fault we haven't gotten one shot off

100%. It's a little more complicated than that. He's got some problems at

Well, he should probably try and fix them.

It's not that easy.

Actually, it is.

You face it, and you deal with it. Oh, yeah?

Talk to me in 20 years about that. Maybe I will.

I, um, weirdly like hanging out with you.

You'll probably get over it.

I hope not.

Was that okay?

Yeah. That was okay.

Um, before we go any further, one thing.

What's that?

We better sign this consent form.

Consent form?

It's 2019.

2019 is such a trip. Have any of you ever been asked to sign a love contract?

Yes, I got married.

No, no, this is a consent form to date someone you're working with. It's

Apparently it's a thing now. Wait, is it a thing?

Do I need to sign one with Wyatt?

It's a thing.

It actually is a thing. I was just asked who signed one.

You had to sign one? Wait, what? With who? Who is he?

Hey, it's not a he.

What?

She asked me to disclose it in a legal document, and you guys, it's not fair. I

haven't even told anybody yet. You're gay.

Tell anybody what?

She's gay. So you're gay.

No, no, not gay, not bi. I have no idea what I am, and as of now, I am coming

out undeclared to you.

Yeah, I think that's really brave.

Thank you.

Very inspirational.

You know what? I think I want to come out too.

Thank God. Now it makes sense. That's why you were uncomfortable during the

scene. I thought it was me.

Zach.

I would like to introduce for the first time to everyone, Zach, my son.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Very lucky to have Brian as your father.

Welcome to the family.

Thanks, Tor.

All right, you guys want to go shoot this?

Let's do it.

All right, you ready, guys?

Let's try this one more time.

Action. Donna, you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

I love you, David.

Let's cut it. All right.

That's great. Ladies and gentlemen, we just completed our first scene of the

90210. Not a moment too soon. 46 more and we got ourselves a complete show.

Next thing's next. What are we going to do now?

Let's get moving, okay? Let's open up the elephant doors. We're going to bring

in the super techno crane.

That's a very good question. We're going to do a shot through the door that's

starting in there. Camille, are you okay?

I'll get him. Hey, Jay. I don't have time, Jay.

Not now, Jenny. No, you need to take this call. Camille, she's in an

What?

Camille?

Yeah, honey, I'll be right there.

Yeah, okay, I'm on my way.

Is he leaving?

Yeah, he is.

How about a drive out to the beach for a nice dinner?

I like that.

Night, ladies.

Night.

Good night.

I'm sorry, I don't... Are you a part of the crew?

Oh, you're here to investigate the fire.

Just wrapping up.

Okay, well, good night. Good night.

Yeah, today's actually my first day.

Hey,

what time's the call tomorrow?

Miracles never cease. Sources say the 90210 reboot finally started shooting.

The old gang is back in action.

Uh, okay.

Okay,

fine. Get in.

I hope you're microchipped.

Whoopee -tie -eye -yay, I go my way back in the saddle

again.