All language subtitles for Underworld (1996)

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Original subtitles

You look into the water.

See the self you would deny.

You let a tear fall.

All you love to die.

Watch it flow down.

Silent flow.

It's a velvet water.

I'm smiling.

Because it is vengeance that makes the heart burn.

The bells have our blue, ruby, black.

Available in white, black, and French vanilla.

You pack your bags,

dressed for sleeping.

You're a man now.

Let them go.

Try to kill your body, son.

Available on pale blue.

From Frank Gavilan and all the rest of us here at Packingheap, happy Father's

Day.

This is gonna be the best motherfucking Father's Day I ever had.

Sure beats the hell out of getting all that aftershave shit.

Frank, Frank.

Later tonight, Frank?

Yes.

Happy Father's Day, fellas.

I got a message to meet a certain Johnny Crown here at 9 o 'clock sharp.

How you doing?

Swell.

Who are you?

Excuse me. Did you ask how am I or who am I? Who.

Not how.

Don't want to know how. Just the who.

Right.

Just who.

Forget how.

My name is Mitch Reed.

Where's Johnny Crown?

Excuse me.

Are you Frank Gavilan? Yes.

You sure?

Not everybody knows who they are. I'm Frank Gavilan.

Then in that case, I got another message for you from Johnny Crown.

Tom Ault and Will Cassidy want you to be the Grand Marshal in their Happy

Father's Day Massacre Parade.

He killed my father, you fuck.

Howdy, Frank.

Johnny Crown.

Remember me?

Hello.

Remember this?

Wow.

You will.

You know, Frank, the mind is a funny thing.

Sometimes things get repressed and they need a little

jarring to loosen them up from the subconscious.

I'm the guy who jars things loose.

Anything yet?

Nothing yet.

How long does it usually take?

Sometimes these things are buried deep.

How about now?

Pilch.

You got a little schmutz in your cheek.

You know...

I've been thinking about you a lot lately.

Oh, that's nice.

I had a lot of time to think over the last seven years. What did you come up

with? Well, you want to hear the whole thing, or a shortened version of the

whole thing, or the net result of the whole thing? How's about a shortened

version of the net result?

Okay.

Eros.

Thanatos.

Thanatos.

Eros. How long does it take for that to make any fucking sense?

Maybe I ought to whack myself on the back of the head to jar things loose.

Maybe that's the secret.

You'll understand everything by 1 .57 tonight.

Everything on top, everything underneath.

There's a whole world underneath, Frank.

A whole underworld.

Had the opportunity to do a lot of reading over the last seven years.

A lot of thinking about what I read and a lot of analyzing about what I thought

about what I read.

I've gone beyond Freud. Way, way beyond. Beyond any motherfucking thinker you

can think of. Good for you.

Thinking comes in handy.

Don't think I'm not proud to be buddies with a big thinker.

Well, 30 years is a long time, my friend. I mean, that's why I'm going to

you. That's what buddies do. They help each other.

I got a degree while I was in the joint.

I'm a psychotherapist now.

And the best kind of psychotherapist for you, because I happen to specialize in

psychopaths. And given my own nature, I consider myself the only working

psychopathic psychotherapist in all psychopathology.

Frank, can I be frank?

Well, as long as I can be frank about your frankness.

Frankly, I don't give a damn.

Then listen.

Being a psycho is nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm going to help you break down that facade of yours.

That front.

Break down that wall.

Get back to the real you, to the real Frank.

Get you to stop running away from yourself.

Make you into a better psychopath, a more productive psychopath.

Together, me at your side, we're going to get behind that front, break down

front, and get back to your real front.

But if the fake you should die in the process of us getting back to the real

you, I don't want you to feel like a failure, because believe me, Dying is

nothing to be ashamed of. As a matter of fact, it's the aim of all living

things, eventually to kiss the dust.

So, it's not the end of the world if you should die tonight.

Well, it's not the end of my world anyways.

Should I be jotting any of this shit down? Nope, no need to jot.

First hand experience is always the best thing.

I popped off some guys over at the Essex warehouse tonight.

Then I popped off some more guys at the Villa Essex.

I'm going to keep killing anybody who had anything to do with it.

Ned Lynch is a dead man.

Richard Essex is a dead man.

You want a belt?

No.

Be honest.

I know it sounds good, you know.

Giant crown.

But... It sounds like I made it up, right?

It doesn't sound real.

Mine sounds real.

Only, um... A little bit better than real.

That's what makes it so good.

Yours sounds...

Worse than real. Sounds like you're trying to impress somebody with it.

Sounds fake.

Fakey.

There is a fakiness to it.

Oh, yeah?

Just a fakiness to yours, too, pal.

But it goes along with your facade.

The fakiness and the facade go together. It's like two negatives make a

positive. Two fake things make a real thing. Right.

Only you've got just one fake thing.

The fakey name you made up. You don't have a facade.

That's why the name is so, um... jarring.

It jars the ears when you hear it. Maybe I want it to jar the ears when people

hear it. Maybe that's the point.

Maybe I want them to take notice of it. I want it to cause attention.

Well, if that's the point, you made up a good name.

The only attention you're gonna cause is everybody talking about what a fakey,

made -up name you gave yourself.

We're here.

She's in room 1856.

We're here where? And who's in room 1856?

Preliminary shrink. Give me one of those, will you?

My what?

The psychiatrist who's going to do some of the groundwork on you for me because

I can't start from scratch with you. You're too fucked up. So let her get the

ball rolling and then I'll come in later. I'll come in in the later

I'm more of a relief therapist.

Her name's Leah.

Dr. Leah.

You remember your estranged Dr. Leah, don't you?

Thanks, Dr.

Crone.

No problemo, my friend.

So why don't you... Why don't you be down here around 10 .55? I'll pick you

okay?

But be down here at 10 .55. Don't make me wait. Otherwise, I'll come upstairs

and fucking blow your brains out and get my money back. I mean, I don't mind

helping you. I don't mind spending a lot of money to do it, which I am, by the

way. She's very expensive.

Okay? But it's worth it to me if we can get rid of some of your neurotic

behavior and replace it with some good old -fashioned psychotic behavior that

I'm not gonna rearrange my whole fucking schedule just because you need fucking

therapy. Okay?

By the way, Richard Essex is a fakey made -up name, too.

Frank, close the door.

Frank.

You're a sicko.

You know that?

Sound of you walking to a new hotel.

Sound of you falling under a new cloud of sand.

The sound of you changing... Howdy, stranger.

Hello, Dr. Leon.

It was Johnny's idea.

He thinks we can help.

He wants to make his best friend happy.

He wants his best friend's wife to be happy.

He thinks we should give our relationship our last shot.

Johnny.

You need some weight?

A little bit.

Where'd you get this car? Man.

Thanks a million for everything. I couldn't have set up the whole night

you. Ah, come on. Hey, I was paid a lot of dough to do a job, and I did it. And

I was glad to do it. Anything else you need me to do, consider it done. Let's

not get all gooey about this, okay?

All six of those fuckers confirmed for the Blue Daniel?

Yep. All six fuckers.

What about Ned Lynch? You confirmed for later? Yep. Ned's confirmed.

Meetings at the Underworld, just like you wanted.

157. What about Essex?

You know, I couldn't find him. I couldn't get the guy. The guy's

get to.

Todd Strebe was the best I could do. That's his business rep, Essex's

rep. He's the only guy that's actually ever seen this Essex.

Really?

You look good.

Thanks.

Stan.

Let me be frank with you.

I don't think I'm going to make it through tonight.

What are you... Come on. No, no, just listen to me. I don't have a hell of a

of time left, and I got a whole slew of things to wrap up in the next few hours.

Lifetime of things.

Seven years worth of things.

Lifetime.

This is the dope in the 84 heist. I want you to take 15 % for yourself as a

bonus. Oh, Johnny, come on. No, no, no, you like it. You deserve it, okay? And

then I want you to divvy up the rest exactly according to my wishes, okay?

Whatever you say.

You got a piece of paper and a pen?

Here.

Now, I know you're probably going to think this is a big fakey thing.

Maybe it's too little too late, but I want to help out some charity stuff.

You know what I mean? I want to do something good with the money, you know?

Make up for my life a little bit.

Get off this big ego crap, you know?

So, let's give 20 % to a medical thing.

and 20 % to a library thing.

And let's give 20 % to that kids thing with the Hans Christian Andersen guy.

What kids thing with the Hans Christian Andersen? The kids thing that helps kids

from all around the world.

UNICEF? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, with the guy who played Hans Christian Andersen. Oh, you mean Danny

Kaye? Yeah, yeah, Danny Kaye. I love him. Danny's dead.

What?

Danny's dead. He died quite a few years ago.

He's dead?

Danny Kaye? Yeah, Danny, yeah.

What do you call, uh, what's her name? Uh, Katharine Hepburn's in charge now.

Fuck.

Wow, I like Danny. Boy, I liked him, too. He was good as that fucking Hans

Christian Hansen guy, I'll tell you.

Hey. Huh, with the skates and everything?

Katharine Hepburn, what the fuck?

All right, well, anyways.

Give him 20 % anyways.

All right. What are we up to?

20 % medical, 20 % librarian, 20 % Catherine.

And 10 % Stan.

Actually, you said 15%. No, I'm just kidding. Go ahead.

Wait, what is that? No, you don't have to. All right.

So that's 75.

Okay, give the rest to continents.

Continents?

Continents, you know, like Africa and Asia.

Any other continents wouldn't mind having a little extra change thing

their pockets.

Oh, and give some to India, sir.

India's not a continent.

Don't go crazy with the continent thing, okay? Don't be so rigid.

Use your best judgment.

And give some to a bone thing.

A bone thing?

Yeah, a bone thing. You know, a thing that helps.

People with brittly bones and stuff. All right, well, who do you want me to take

away from for the, you know, brittly bone thing?

Take a little away from India.

India? Yeah.

Good choice.

All right, that's it.

My last will and testament. Ah, come on.

I guess, uh, this is the last time we see each other, you know?

Things go the way I think they're gonna go.

Unless, you know, you want to sit in on the Ned Lynch, Todd Streep concepts.

Maybe I will.

Yeah?

No.

No, you won't, you fat fuck.

Look at my old man, you fuck.

You should have been ambushed.

He's lying brain dead in a fucking hospital because of you. You fuck. Oh,

India's giving you 15%, pal.

Oh, John.

That was my dream.

Was this your gang?

So that only leaves Stan, Mitch, Leo, and Vince.

And me, Ned.

I got a bad taste in my mouth from all this. Do you have, like, a mint or

something?

How about one of these?

What color's up?

Green. I hate green.

What's the one after that?

Two fucking greens in a row?

Give me that fucking thing.

Ned Lynch is back to nothing again.

Everything I worked for these last two years is back to nothing again. My plans

for the Ned Lynch gang have shot to shit.

I'm back to nothing again. You're not back to nothing, Ned.

Come on.

Baby, these last two days have been the best two days of my life.

I love you.

Does that feel like nothing?

How about this?

Am I... Right there?

I love that.

I think I got some gum in the glove compartment.

Would you mind taking a peek and cutting it out for me?

Back to nothing I'm gonna meet

Johnny

right now

Well, I mean,

it was great seeing you tonight, Leah.

Okay.

Looks fine.

You know how I am.

Inhibited about jumping right into these things. I mean... I think we should

take our time and just talk things through.

Okay?

Oh, it's you.

I thought you might be one of those crazy limo chasers.

You can never tell these days.

Get in.

Two.

Belt?

Yeah.

How'd the therapy go, Mr. Private Person? Any breakthroughs yet?

What the fuck?

You're sick, old Frank.

You know that? You should just stop fucking denying it.

Huh?

I mean, what the fuck do you have to be so angry about?

Tell me. What the fuck is bugging you?

I mean, don't get me wrong. I mean, angry can't be healthy.

The first step on the road to recovery, but I... She always told me she was your

all -time favorite.

She was the one. She was the best.

She wasn't that easy to find, let me tell you. You know, but... You know, I

wanted to make you happy. It's my new thing in life. I want to make other

happy. Mr. Fucking Make Fucking People Happy, that's me.

Face the facts, pal. I'm like the greatest fucking friend who ever

I'm like you.

You're like the...

I think he's the friend that ever existed.

Anyways, I've been thinking that I'm not really a psychopath.

You know?

I'm too social to be a psychopath.

I'm really a sociopath.

Yeah.

It's the same thing.

A psychopath and a sociopath are the same exact thing.

Yeah, okay.

But what sounds better?

Huh?

Sociopath.

Sociopath sounds nicer, you know?

Friendlier. And that's me.

That's the new Johnny.

Yep, I'm even thinking about settling down and having some...

sociopaths of my own. I want to hear the pitter -patter of little sociopaths

running around the house, you know?

So what do you say about setting me up with some of your lady friends, huh?

Stay away from my lady friends.

Captain fucking selfish.

See, I'm thinking of you, and you're thinking of you.

That's the problem.

Oh, you are?

Second consultation, Frankie.

I don't think you're fixed yet. I think you still need some help.

You're misusing sex.

You're using it like an escape, you know?

So I had to bring in an expert, you know? Like a sexpert.

Dr. Leah. She's... She's gonna cure you, I think. She's gonna take care of this

compulsive attitude you have towards sex.

Everything else that goes with it. The whole nine yards.

Then I'll take you and we can, uh...

Take care of Tommy Alton and Bill Cassidy.

Leave my lady friends alone.

Okay.

Do we end?

Door's open.

Hi. Hi.

You must be Mr.

Call me Johnny, please.

Compliments of Frank Davalin. He wanted me to tell you he's very sorry he can't

be with you tonight, but he promised that he'll call you tomorrow, and he

me to hand -deliver this gifts and the apology, or else he'd say he'd kill me.

Well, you know Frank, so... Yeah, I know Frank.

But I don't know, Frank.

We don't spend too much time talking.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I... Anyways, he's not so easy to get to know, you know?

He's like the sphinx.

Yeah, I know.

I'm this Richard Essex guy with the two biggest riddles of all time.

Okay, um, well, I hope you enjoy the gifts and, uh...

Nice meeting you, and I guess I'll see you around.

Um, so how long have you known Frank?

Oh, jeez, I couldn't say exactly. It's definitely over 30 years.

30 years? No. Oh, yeah, yeah. Gave me his score on my 20th birthday. Oh, God.

Yeah.

So, um, who is he?

Fill me in.

So, Johnny, why should I tell you anything about Fran?

I'm here.

The night is young.

All right.

The only thing I know for sure about him is that he loves

making love.

Really? I mean,

I already know more about you than I know about him.

It's like a riddle.

Yeah. Yeah, I know. I think his sphinx thing stinks.

Ever say anything to you about this Richard Essex?

No. That Essex guy?

He's another riddle.

You ever meet him?

No.

He's a very private person.

guys. I just thought, you know, you could use a little therapy break, you

kind of a seventh inning stretch for the subconscious type of thing. I mean,

take it easy on that couch. It's a rental.

Oh, look at me.

I'm turning red over here.

You decent?

Yeah.

Sorry, I'm just in a great fucking mood. I'm happy as a goddamn lark.

I'm sweet.

I'm a joie de vivre person. That's me.

There is nothing like a thing, a thing in this world.

There is nothing you can name that is anything like a thing.

I was in Hammerstein with some great songs, didn't I?

Huh?

I mean, those two guys come up with such great stuff.

Richard Rogers, Oscar Hammerstein II were the two greatest songwriters of all

time, period.

Anything you can do, I can do better.

I can do anything better than you.

No. Yes, I can.

I mean, no.

That's not Rodgers and Hammerstein.

That's Irving Berlin.

Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Irving Berlin.

No. Yes.

It's Irving Berlin.

guy was great, too, wasn't he? I mean, he really made you feel glad to be

too, didn't he?

The three of you should have teamed up for a tune, you know?

You want to live forever after you heard that tune, huh?

Raindrops and roses and whiskers.

It's not easy to find words that end in it. Let me tell you.

To things that make you want to live forever.

To short of Eve.

Moon is busting out all over.

He's busting out all over.

I can't think of the rest.

Walk through a storm, hold your head up high.

And don't be afraid of the dark.

They must have been in some bad mood when they wrote that song, huh?

mountain, forward every stream, follow every

rainbow.

No. Okay.

I'll be back in an hour and a half.

Ask him before I get back.

You think it was going to be all fun and games tonight, my friend?

Life ain't like that.

It ain't going to be all Rodgers and Hammerstein tonight.

Getting to know you.

Getting to know what about you.

Before tonight is through...

Everything on my things -to -do -tonight list is gonna get done.

You're on my things -to -do -tonight list, and you can bet my mother's life

that.

This is really going to screw up the order of my things to do tonight list,

let me be frank. I don't think I'm going to make it through the night.

I got a footlocker full of loot down in the limo.

If I'm not back in an hour and a half, I want you two guys to have it.

Frank, no arguments, please.

I don't have a whole hell of a lot of time left, and I got a slew of things I

got to wrap up in the next few hours.

Lifetime of things.

Seven years with the things.

Actually, that footlocker's pretty heavy. You want to give me a hand?

Look, I, uh... I know you probably just think I'm a big phony, but, uh...

I may be too late to do any good, but I was hoping you could do me a favor if

anything happens to me tonight and, um... take care of donating my

organs for me.

You got a pen and a piece of paper?

My kidneys.

What? I want to donate my kidneys right now.

My liver.

They want it, they got it.

And throw my heart to them.

Can you donate things like gallbladder?

I'll look into it.

What about like the pancreas? You know, spleen, the colon, shit like that. Do

they need stuff like that?

They need stuff like eyes.

Fuck that.

Nobody's touching my eyes.

I don't want them touching anything on the outside, okay? They can take

they want from the inside, but leave the outside alone.

Well, they gotta come from the outside to get to the inside.

Hey, it's a moot point as far as I'm concerned, my friend, okay?

I don't mind them using the outside to get to the inside, but nobody's taking

anything from the outside, okay? You tell them that.

Tell them, as far as the inside's concerned, they're welcome to the

can transplant to their heart's content, but when it comes to the outside, hands

off. I don't want anybody getting near my dick either. Write that down.

No one was interested in getting near your dick when you were alive. What

you think anyone would be interested when you're dead?

Write it down, okay?

What else can you transplant?

Well, transplant hair.

But they don't need you dead for it.

Bone marrow.

Get me down for bone marrow.

Well, that's it.

Restful intestines.

Huh?

You think it was going to be all fun and games tonight, my friend? Is that what

you thought?

Huh?

You think it was going to be some fucking Hans Christian Andersen story

It's not.

Let's go finish off what happened once and for all.

Here, finish him off.

I got a message to meet a certain Johnny Crown at 1255 Shop.

Hello, Mr. Cassidy.

Hello, Johnny.

Forget that Johnny Crown thing.

I'm just using that as an attention getter to get people to notice what a

made -up name I gave myself.

I haven't lost my identity.

I'm still Johnny Alt.

You remember your estranged son, Frank?

Frankie, I'm sure you remember your estranged dad, Will.

Will, this is Frank.

Frank, this is Will.

Here you go, Will.

Why don't you just finish Frank off once and for all?

Why not?

You guys have been killing each other for years with this incommunicado crap.

Look, I don't even know what started, not that I give a flying fuck.

Not that you two could even remember what started, even if I did give a

fuck, but all I'm saying is there are easier ways of killing each other if

that's what you really want.

Well, I got a lot of things left to do on my things to do tonight list.

But staring at you two, staring at each other isn't one of them. So, Will, why

don't you say goodnight, Frank?

Goodnight, Frank.

Frank, why don't you say goodnight?

am the best friend that ever existed.

My heart was always there for me.

Next song up this joyous Father's Day is Oh My Papa by Eddie Fisher. Fuck

Father's Day.

Boys.

Oh, Simone.

That's Joyce, you idiot.

Joyce Holt.

She's my wife.

I had her keep the tabs on you these last couple years, ever since my dad got

that scar on his throat.

Julianne, Ava, and Jeanette don't know any more about this guy than we do.

It's a fucking enigma.

Honey, what was the name of that course that you got the degree in to self

-help, then?

How to Find Your Real Self.

Right.

Just exactly who is your real self?

I know who I am, Frank.

I'm Joyce Alt.

Johnny Alt's wife.

Who only really found herself when I got in touch with my real feelings.

That's right.

She's been through the mill.

Anorexia, bulimia, panic attacks, breakdowns. Yeah, you name the nervous

disorder, she's had it in buckets.

Did you arrange for us to do that bunny hop thing?

Mm -hmm.

All right.

Cancel. Sometimes you gotta give up the things you liked as a kid.

Sometimes you gotta let go of limbo dancing and ice cream sundaes and the

hop. Sometimes you have to kill off, put to rest, the things you liked as a kid

in order to move on with the rest of your life.

we don't know if I have to.

Nobody keeps me fucking waiting.

That lynch is a dead man.

Let's check out the things I did already on my things to do tonight list.

Frank meets my wife.

What's next?

Make people happy.

Give it a check.

As a matter of fact, give that one a double check.

What's next?

Ask Frank about Frank and Richard Essex.

Don't check that one. Leave that one unchecked.

What's next?

Rogers Hospital.

Check my pop's life support system.

Time for your medicine.

Merry Father's Day.

Little something from your son, John.

Howdy, Johnny.

Hey, Ned.

How was prison life?

It was good. It was fine.

Did South Pacific.

Great show. Which part?

The Mid -Tagana Row.

Nellie Forbush? That's a hell of a part. I bet you stole the show. How were the

reviews? They were good.

People said they'd never seen a part play with such balls before.

Ballsier even than Mitzi? Oh, yeah.

You got a little, uh, something on your...

Yeah. Yeah, they wanted me to take it on the road, you know.

Attica, Leavenworth, you know, the Sing Sing circuit, but they couldn't pay me

to sing at Sing Sing, you know.

Hey, Johnny?

Johnny?

Do you... Do you remember who played the Rosano Brasi role in your

production?

Yeah.

Tony Canino.

Tony Canino.

Good cast.

I heard he always gets the top billing.

Yeah.

Well, it was good running into you again, Johnny.

See you later, Ned. Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Hey, Ned.

Let's join them.

So, Ned, you want a lift to your car?

Oh, thanks.

I'm walking these days. I gave away my role to a group.

Really?

Quite a gift, Ned.

I gave away all my money, too, to another group. Now I got groups hounding

It's on the phone, so I had to... I had to give away the phone, too.

Gee, you're going crazy with the giving away thing, huh?

Conscience shit is what got to me, I think.

What do you think got me off to such a bad start?

Well, geez, Ned.

I'm no psychiatrist, but I would say that that thing when you were a kid, the

thing where you killed your dad,

Yeah, I think the thing where you killed your dad I think that's probably what

you fucked up to see I think I think popping your pop is something that will

screw you up for a long time I think that's probably you get off to them.

He took the wrong exit off them You think that when you killed Betty Lynch?

That's where you really fucked up big time and that I think you probably just

been in denial like you never since then I'm in denial. That's where I've been

all these years. Yeah, that was denial.

I'm that's where I'm at.

Yeah It's a defense mechanism. You mean you got a defense mechanism?

Everybody's got them. Everybody's got a ton of them. It's, you know, it's to

protect ourselves from ourselves, you know.

Oh, shit. The defense mechanisms sort of protect ourselves from ourselves?

Oh, yeah. Yep.

That doesn't beat all.

Depression, regression, projection, sublimation, rationalization,

intellectualization. Do you hear yourself talk?

This is fucking amazing, except for that damn denial thing. All defense

mechanisms end with a shun sound.

No, I never really thought about that. Well, then, thank you for putting this

into focus for me. I mean, you know, I don't have any money because I gave it

the group, but do you have a jacket like this? You keep the jacket. It's not my

color anyway. It's a maroon thing.

But I'll tell you, Ned, I am a little concerned for you because you're walking

around here, you know, with no money, and it's a bad neighborhood. It's

dangerous as hell. Let me give you some money. Thanks, Johnny, but no thanks.

I'm back to nothing.

This is when I'm at my best, when I'm back to nothing.

I'm so good at it that when things start going sour, I try to get back to

nothing as quickly as possible.

It's when I really shine.

It's your call.

Mitch and Stan, Leo and Vince, they helped me set up everything tonight.

And now, they're dead.

Pop, it turned on you the same way you and them

turned on my pop exactly two years ago tonight.

The underworld.

Exactly.

157.

Let me ask you something. You know who, uh, slit my pop's throat two and a half

years ago?

That slit on his throat that made him go brain dead?

Yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. Richard Essex.

Sure. Todd Strebe told me.

You ever meet this Essex guy?

No, only, uh...

Only Todd Strebe talks to him. I get my orders through Todd Strebe.

So, uh... You think you know who, uh... Who the ethics guy is?

Frankly, I do.

I swear on my mother's grave, I do.

Johnny...

We've both known Frank Cassidy for over 30 years.

He's a complete mystery.

So is this Richard Essex.

All right.

Let's hit the underworld.

I'm confirmed.

Johnny?

Be careful with that guy.

I had a dream when I was in prison.

And in the dream, you killed my father.

What do you think the dream means?

What do you think it symbolizes?

Do you know who I think you symbolize in the dream?

Who?

You.

And do you know who I think my father symbolizes in the dream?

I think in the dream, my father symbolizes my father.

And do you know what I think the whole dream means in a symbolic kind of way?

I think it means the you symbolizing...

You killed my father, who was a symbol for my father.

What haven't we checked off yet?

Come on. I'm on a tight schedule. Let's go.

Blue Danube.

All right.

Well, they should all be dead by now.

When I was in the joint, I asked my pop if there's anybody he still had it in

for.

He sent me back a list of six names.

Yeah.

Slim Crawford, Billy Dax, Wildman Palmer, Buster Powell.

Walt Clinton and Danny Iceberg Egan.

He said these guys should be in the who's who of assholes.

But he could never find them.

I found them.

I located all six of those scumbags.

I told Stan to tell Ned that we needed him.

For a big job.

The robbery of all robberies. The mother of all heists.

Check it off, my friend.

They're all dead by now.

I knew Buster Powell and Wild Man Palmer.

I knew Billy Dax, Walt Clanton, and Slim Crawford.

But just who the fuck are you?

Phil Fox.

They call me Smiling Phil Fox about 80 miles east of here, but hell, I'm small

potatoes compared to you, Dan.

I mean, everybody, everywhere.

Now stand the iceberg, Egan.

Smiling Phil Fox.

I'm not going to mind you putting a mess of slugs in Ned Lynch's body, but stay

away from his head.

Because I'm taking Ned Lynch's head home with me.

Taking his head home with you.

Goddamn dandy, Dan.

What's left of my things to do tonight list and forget about that thing where I

asked you about you and that Richard fakie Essex I'm getting to the bottom of

things in that front of yours without asking you What's left on the list?

I think there's something on the bottom of the list It's the bottom line on the

list Wow

You're no help.

You know that? You're just no fucking help.

30 years, all I got from you was a scar on my throat, Mr.

Dinky Friend.

Okay?

Do I have to spell everything out for you? Is that it?

Huh? Can't you read into anything?

Can't you see my whole world's been turned upside down?

Huh?

Can't you analyze the situation?

What's going on with your brain? Anything?

Can't you see I need to yak to somebody?

Can't you see underneath anything?

Forget about the therapy.

Your hubby doesn't need therapy.

He needs a lobotomy. So, send back the couch.

Give me a refund for the remaining sessions.

And then, let's get Frank a new brain.

He definitely needs a new brain.

I bet my father's life on that.

Johnny, do you know what the original Oedipal crime was?

In primitive times, the younger males would kill off their father because he

hoarding all the females.

Their guilt over this killing was the dawn of our civilization.

Johnny, it's okay to feel guilty about your dad dying.

brain is no good it's of no non -therapeutic value he needs an entire

transplant forget what i said about that one last shot shit with him i want to

give him one last shot get a gun give him one last shot to the head that'll do

it i bet my father's life and my mother's life on that

johnny your mother and your

father

Are dead.

Ned Lynch is a dead man.

Richard Essex is a dead man.

Hello Todd.

Hi, Frank.

Hi, Mitzi.

Johnny Crown.

Johnny Orr.

Nellie Torquist.

Frank Cassidy. Frank Gavilan.

Richard Essex. You know, you two guys got a fucking identity problem.

Me? I'm just Ned.

I'm just plain old Ned.

Plain old Ned Lynch.

I'm not having an identity crisis like you two fucking guys. I'm not confused

about my identity.

I'm Ned who killed his pop when he was a kid.

I'm Ned who killed Ed.

I don't deny that. I accept that.

Out of the three of us, I'm the only one who isn't hiding from himself.

I don't need to protect me from me.

I mean, let's face it. I'm a goddamn fucking picture of mental health.

Out of the three of us, I'm the only one who turns out normal.

I'm planning on donating my personality to charity.

We're all very proud of you, Ned.

You've turned out swell.

Thanks, Richard, but can I be frank?

You two turned out shitty. Your mothers must be turning over in their graves

right now over how shitty the two of you turned out.

Linnea Cassidy and Joy, all they're tossing and turning right now is

over the shittiness of their own two sons. They can't believe it. They're

there.

But Marilee Lynch, on the other hand, she's laying there nice and calm. She's

thrilled to death over how I turned out. Very unshitty, not like the two of you.

Johnny, this Richard Essex guy.

ordered Todd Streep to put out a hit on your pop.

Now, I'd be denying the truth if I didn't tell you that I... I helped

out a little bit with the set -up, you know, and I helped out a little bit with

the ambush, you know, but... he's the mother who gave the order,

and he is the mother who made your pop rain dead.

Tell him the truth.

Tell him the truth for once in your life. Tell him.

Hello, Todd.

Hello, Richard.

Todd Streep.

Johnny Crump.

Everybody's bitten the dust at the Blue Danube.

Well, that's goddamn dandy.

I heard tell that those six guys could have been elected to the Cooperstown

of Schmucks.

I put Todd in there to make sure that everybody was taken care of.

Now Todd's waiting to see which way the wind is going to blow.

Now, two years back, Todd, did you tell Ned and all the rest of the boys that I

wanted Tommy Alt dead?

Or did Ned order Tommy Alt's death all by himself?

Todd,

it's time for you to confess.

Ned wanted him retired forever.

Richard, you just can't let a guy like Tommy Gunnwald retire.

It was the only smart thing. My favorite name is Smiling Phil Fox.

Did I ever tell you you've got a beautiful smile?

This is no way to build a relationship.

Don't you get it?

Frank left this calling card on your pop's throat.

He's the fucker you got to beef with, not me.

I mean, I'm starting to get a bad taste in my mouth from this whole thing.

Do you ever like a mint or something?

Breath? Some gum?

Fuck, motherfucker, what?

Now you got a bad taste in your ear.

You need help, Richard.

Ned, you're a 24 -carat solid gold narcissistic motherfucking mood swinger,

ain't you? But you know what?

I'm gonna try my darndest to cure you of your fucking destructive tendencies

using a radical new technique I've been working on. Kind of a...

experimental treatment i've been tinkering with be my guest nelly tinker

your leading lady days are over i'll write tony canedo a letter explaining

everything technically i murdered your pop pop twice i could murder you

once easy did it with your death too pal you know i'm two for three with dead

dads i'm do you know where your father is tonight richard it's very late Two

three with the dead dads.

Do you know what the original Oedipal crime was that led to the start of

civilization?

Fuck civilization.

Totally frank.

Did Richard Essex have anything to do with my pop's death?

No. Richard Essex is now a dead man.

Okay.

Did you, symbolizing you, have anything, anything at all,

do with my pop's death?

I swear.

On your mother's grave, my mother's grave, your father's soon -to -be grave,

my father's one -day -it's -going -to -happen grave, no.

I cut a deal with your pop to take over the operation.

I ran things.

He got a healthy percentage.

Can I continue to be totally frank with you?

It ain't so easy coping with your parents' deaths.

Do you think it's going to be easy for me when my father dies?

Is that what's underneath everything tonight?

Is that what's going on in the underworld of that fucking brain of

The mind is a funny thing.

Sometimes it needs a good whack on the side of the head to jar things loose.

the mind unrepressed.

Now let's give it a few seconds.

Sometimes these things are buried very deep.

Any luck?

Sometimes dads come in fucking handy, I'll tell you that much.

I want you guys to start.

Really start talking to each other without my help.

Okay?

I want you to stop acting like your son's already dead.

And you, stop acting like your old man ain't around.

Or I swear to God in my parents' graves, I'll kill the two of yous right now. I

don't care.

Lunch next week?

Sounds good.

Let's talk about it tomorrow.

So long, Mr. Cassidy.

Happy Father's Day.

My pop went brain dead a couple years ago.

Brought back.

The memories of my mom dying when I was a kid.

The last two years in that prison, that's all I could think about, you

Like my mind was in a prison in that prison.

I couldn't really act anybody about it.

sit around that sort of trapped in my own mind kind of a feeling

i don't know

like when she

died that goddamn disease it's like somebody you know turned my world upside

down you know i feel like somebody robbed me or something

It's like somebody pulled a big heist on me.

And that feels like two goddamn big heists, you know?

I don't know.

It's the last couple of days since I got out of the hoose cow.

Everything seems to be moving so fast, you know?

What do you think? You think life's just a roundabout way to death?

You know what I think?

I think we're going for a drive, and we're going to keep yakking about

you want to yak about.

Hey, remember that time when you were a kid and my mom and pop took us to the

beach? You got the... The jellyfish. Yeah.

I'm like a bastard. You were crying in the meeting room for like, what?

50 years.

gonna reconcile your fate if the

outstretched hand comes too late

and if you gonna have to find someone to

confide is that you lie awake and wait for the

planets to collide

Just you, the lonely flower

And it's you who's gonna have to reconcile

your fate If the abstract name

comes too late And it fucks you

To keep yourself from yourself so you can keep on living.

You plan to see You watch it through

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