Original subtitles

[opening theme music playing]

[loud sputtering]

What exactly is going on right now?

I'm whistle blowing.

My freedom of speech is being infringed upon.

Ms. Simeon refused to let me read

my poem at the recital tonight.

Well, for starters,

the superintendent will be present.

And knowing you, that poem is probably

as appropriate as chest hair on a newborn baby.

[inhales] It's about my butt.

[gasping]

[indistinct conversation]

[huffs] Have a good day, Watterson.

[gasps]

It's not just about butts.

It's also about self-love

and accepting yourself as you are, and--

-[panting] -[Gumball] Sir!

Sir. Principal Brown!

What are you doing?

People need to hear my message!

[dramatic music plays]

Oh, no!

-Yes! -[music stops]

Don't you dare, Watterson!

[thuds]

[panting, grunts]

-[Principal Brown] Watterson! -This poem is called "My Butt"

by Gumball Watterson.

Give me that!

-[gasping] -[screaming]

[Gumball] I'm not gonna lie.

For someone who looks like an anemic

shower drain cannelloni,

that was mad impressive.

[sighs] I'm sorry, Watterson.

It's just, I have a problem with butts.

My own, specifically.

I... I cover it up with--

I'm not gonna go into details, but mine is weird and gross.

Can you let this slide, please?

[whimpers]

-[exhaling] -Uh...

Don't make it a thing.

Please, I beg you.

[whimpers]

I can't let you suffer like this.

I swear to help you love yourself.

No. No. No!

Can't you see your own shame is putting your students

at risk of reliving the same misery?

[yelling] No!

It's for the good of the children!

No!

Oh, all right, then.

You know, sometimes all it takes

to feel better about a part of yourself

is to find a new way of framing it.

[camera flashes]

Well, feel free to frame my butt for homicide

of my self-esteem.

That butt is part of you.

You just need to see it in a new light

to learn to love it again. Look.

No, no, no.

Yo, this one kind of slays.

If you're talking about heretics

during the Crusades, maybe.

[Gumball] No, no, no.

Oh, that's kind of bold.

No future!

Yeah. For my work life.

Oh, this one feels very me.

Yeah, it's got that 1950s

I don't do feelings, Daddy realness.

Larry, you're up.

I don't get paid enough for this.

Okay, just relax now.

Everything's gonna be all right.

I'm an adult man, Watterson.

-I know how to handle my-- -[clippers buzzing]

[screaming]

-Stay back! Stay out! -[siren wailing]

-[gasps] -[explosion]

[high-pitched tone]

[both groaning]

What was that about?

It would appear my butt issues

are a little more deep-seated than I first assumed.

-[loud sigh] -[gasps]

Maybe I can help.

The people from my village

used to complain a lot about how they looked.

But they missed those parts they didn't like

once they were gone.

[both shriek]

Oh, hey, you guys.

So you want to press charges or anything?

No. No, I'm good.

Oh, great. Then you're free to go.

[grunts] Oh! [laughs]

Oh, you can go too, by the way.

No witness, no body, no crime.

Thank you, Officer.

I'll get back to my work.

Another case closed for Elmore's finest.

[door clangs]

Uh...

Want to know what I do

when things don't go exactly to plan?

I ask a responsible adult.

[chomping loudly]

But when Mom's not home, I ask him.

[microwave dings]

[chuckles sheepishly]

What to do when society

forces unrealistic beauty standards upon you,

and your body looks like a gas station burrito.

Make popcorn, I guess.

No.

You look at yourself with the kindness you deserve

and find the beauty within.

[pleasant music plays]

Oh! I see it too.

How can it be?

Is this some sort of delusional pathology?

No, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my friend.

I'd demonstrate too, but [sighs] unfortunately,

I was blessed with such a physique

that I just can't be improved upon.

-Anyway, you give it a try. -Uh... hmm. Uh.

[pleasant music plays]

-Oh. -Come on. Love yourself.

Ah!

[exclaims]

[gasping]

Wait, wait, wait! Stop! What are you doing?

[groaning]

[gasps] I can't stop!

[all screaming]

[gasps]

[screams]

[all screaming]

[all screaming]

What's up with that butt of yours, man?

Uh, I'm sorry.

Let me explain.

You see, I was born with a bald butt.

I never questioned its shape until that day...

with the local school bully.

Uh... [chuckles]

[laughing]

What's up with that?

[all laughing]

Why is your crack so short, bro?

Does it whistle when you toot?

[all laughing]

Guys, look at this.

It looks like an egg with a cleft chin.

[all laugh hysterically]

-[sobbing] -[gasping]

I resorted to wearing a butt wig

from that moment forward.

Huh. It's funny how a small, innocent comment

can affect the rest of your life. Hmm.

I don't know.

Sounds like that kid was a massive cuss word.

But that's why you have to let me read my poem tonight.

So we can right this wrong, and no student will ever

have to feel ashamed of their body again.

That kid went on to become the superintendent, Gumball.

He'll be at the recital tonight.

-[exclaims] -But--

This is the end of this discussion.

No ifs, no ands

and no, bu-- bu-- bu-bu--

[sobbing]

I'll heal you, Principal Brown,

with the power of spoken words,

no matter whether you want it or not.

Mark my words, Principal Brown!

I will--

[grunting]

Gray is the color of the gray sock.

Gray is the color...

I'm sorry, Watterson, but I couldn't let you rope me

-into further humiliation. -[student] Gray is the color...

Oh, I hope you're enjoying the evening, sir.

Oh, yeah, my taxi's coming. [groans]

I'm gonna have to cut it short.

[student] Gray is the color...

But not as short as you know what.

[gasping] I beg your pardon?

It is you, isn't it? [laughs]

What was your nickname again? Uh... uh... Badonkadonk?

Oh, wait. Uh... uh...

Benedict Plundercrack!

[laughs] Wait, wait!

It's coming.

Petite Cakes!

-[laughing] -[gasping]

[panting]

[muffled grunts]

Gray is also the color--

[crowd exclaims]

This one's called "My Butt" by Gumball Watterson.

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle When I pop a hip

Rocking from top to bottom As I do a dip

Pumping with adrenaline

[grunts]

Wobbling like gelatin--

[microphone feedback]

-[both grunting] -[Gumball] Whoa!

[microphone feedback]

[panting]

[crowd gasping]

[melancholy music plays]

Come on, do it for the children.

Uh...

Because that beautiful butt Was born to bounce to the beat

It's, um, gonna Rock the lights out

So, get off your seat

[scratching record]

-[electronic beat playing] -[indistinct singing]

[rapping] ♪ Got so much Junk in the trunk ♪

♪ That I can dunk On my haters, yo ♪

♪ But I don't mess with punks ♪

♪ Sorry, bro I'll see you later, though ♪

-♪ I got that meaty Mike ♪ -♪ What? ♪

-♪ The wiggly delight ♪ -♪ What? ♪

♪ I'm ready to ignite in spite Of guys who think ♪

♪ It's right to laugh at me Behind my back ♪

♪ But it's cool, though Because they're wack ♪

[singing] ♪ And I've got better Things to do in my life ♪

♪ Than to drag On my back cul-de-sac ♪

♪ That the goalies Are going through ♪

♪ Got visions in my mind Where they cry and they gag ♪

♪ And I laugh When they shake it about ♪

♪ And they see me go ♪

♪ Let me give it To you straight ♪

[rapping] ♪ Don't waste All that good cake ♪

♪ Forget the hate Just drop the weight ♪

♪ Turn it up make it vibrate ♪

♪ Just jiggle, jiggle Jiggle, jiggle ♪

♪ Shake all of that ♪

♪ Jiggle, jiggle Jiggle, jiggle ♪

♪ Shake all that ♪

♪ Yeah, you clap back At the naysayers ♪

♪ Shake the haters off Like a player ♪

♪ Jiggle, jiggle Jiggle, jiggle ♪

♪ Shake all of that ♪

♪ Jiggle, jiggle Jiggle, jiggle ♪

♪ Shake all of that ♪

[singing] ♪ We don't harm the one ♪

♪ Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle ♪

♪ We just have some fun ♪

-[thuds] -[crowd exclaims]

♪ I refuse to feel shame ♪

♪ For the way I was made ♪

[electrical buzzing]

[Principal Brown] ♪ Jiggle Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle ♪

♪ Shake all of that ♪

♪ Jiggle, jiggle Jiggle, jiggle ♪

♪ Shake all of that ♪

Shame on you. How do you sleep at night?

On my stomach so you can kiss it, Mr. White.

[grunts]

[crowd gasping]

[gagging]

[music continues]

That guy's time as principal

is gonna be shorter than his-- Uh...

Good evening, sir.

Uh... uh...

To the airport. Make it quick.

Hmm, perhaps a short cut.

[crowd cheering]

[music continues]

[blubbering]

[closing theme music playing]