Original subtitles

So what you wanna talk about, Nip?

Oh, man, I'm loosing customers to the Sugar Shack.

Yeah, what you gonna do about it?

Plan a new menu, put in some new games, upgrade the restaurant.

Yeah, yeah. True that! True that! You know what I mean.

Upgrade the restaurants, man.

Put a fan up in there. A ceiling fan.

Stick up or somethin' up..

- Exactly. You see what? - Right.

That's why I called you down here, man. I need your help.

Alright, well, you my road dawg. Anything, wassup?

Well, uh, I need five grand.

Okay, well, uh, good luck getting it!

Come on, man. I thought you was my road dawg.

Look, I am your road dawg, but that's a lot of chip-snip.

- When do you need to by, man? - Yesterday.

They're starting work today.

Well, wh-wh what's in it for me?

What you want?

I'll tell you what.

I want a piece of the rock!

Okay? Make me a silent partner.

How silent we talking?

You won't even know I'm here.

Whazzup? Whazzup? Whazzup?

Okay, let me get this straight.

You, uh, you a silent partner.

So that mean, you hollering at Nipsey in sign language

you hear with your..

No, no, Cole.

What it means, is I'mma be in the background.

And check it out, the first thing I'mma do

I'mma change the name from Nipsey to Marty-Mars.

- Wh-what you think? - I like "Nipsey's" better.

- Man, who aksed you, Cole? - You did. You just said to me--

Man, look, where-where is Tommy, anyway?

I thought he was coming by with his pops.

Tommy's pops is in town? Peace! I'm out.

What? I know you ain't afraid to Tommy's father, man.

Well, yes I am, man, last time I seen him, man

he hollered at me for having my natural too long

and he made me pee on myself. Excuse me!

It ain't like that no more, Cole.

Things have changed, man.

For real? Whatever, man.

Chins high!

Eyes front! Shoulders back! Chest down!

Oh, man!

I didn't say "At ease", soldier.

Lock your body like I taught you!

Why are you shaking, Cole?

Are you a little girl?

Yes, I am. I am a little girl.

I mean, no sir. I am not a little girl.

Then suck it up! And zip it up!

Yes, sir. Excuse me, sir.

Hey-hey Tommy man.

You gotta tell you pops don't be coming up in here

hollering like that, man.

You gonna have to bring that down, partner.

Oh! You feel little froggy, huh?

Well, come on you little grunt. Leap!

Uh, Pop, pop, pop, pop.

Dad?

T-t-tell him, Tommy, he don't want none of this, alright?

You know, call your father off, tell him, man.

Martin! Still crazy as ever, huh?

Still got more guts than you got height.

You know, you know my pop, Martin.

He still got that crazy sense of humor.

Uh-huh? Does he now? Huh?

Well, he's crazy alright.

- Good to see you again, Martin. - How you doing?

Say, it's good to see you, 'cause I tell you when you, uh..

Feeling! Feeling!

Oh, come on. Be a rock for me.

Hoo-yeah!

Come on, come on, come on, pop. You gonna break the man's hand.

What is wrong with you, man?

I thought all y'all would be a lot more

tougher than this by now.

I'm twice your age and still more man

than all of y'all put together.

Come on. Show me what you got!

Oh, here we go again.

Come on. Hit me!

Tommy, you know what?

It's time to, to get Rambo up outta here.

Okay, okay, I'll handle this. Hey pop, pop, pop. Now, look.

I-I know you're tired from your long

you know, flight from Bosdan.

Look, dad, you got to remember, man

it's peace time over here!

Alright, come on let's go get you in your hotel.

Uh, you young brothers don't know how to have any fun at all.

No fun.

- Shape up! - Okay, okay, pop.

Let's go, let's go.

Drop, gimme ten.

Let's go, pop. Let's go. let's go.

Make him gimme ten..

Okay, alright. Sorry.

Man. Damn!

Martin?

Got you too, huh?

If, uh, Tommy's pops is gonna be here all week

I'mma have to go and get me some Huggies, man.

- Hey, pop. - You are late, mister!

You promised me you'd meet me here at 2000 hours.

Dad, I'm only two minutes late.

Saddam got away because we were only two minutes late.

Look, dad, I-I want you to meet Pam. Pam come on.

- This is my father. - Hey.

So this is the pretty young thing I've heard so much about.

Nice to meet you, Sergeant Strawn.

- Please come in. - Ha-ha. Stop.

- What the hell is all this? - Pretty good, huh?

It only took me 15 minutes to set up camp.

Shoot! I wish I had known that. Could've saved me some money.

And found him a spot in my backyard.

So Pam's your girl, huh, son?

- Huh? - Umm.. Well, you know, pop..

I-I haven't got a chance to write you in a while.

- She-- - She dumped you, didn't she?

She dumped me.

- But we're still friends. - Uh-huh.

That's too bad. You see, if you had joined the corp

like I told you to, you'd know how to

keep a woman like that happy.

Can-can we have dinner? Can we go?

Hey, what's this funny little thing?

That funny little thing

happens to be a claymore landmine.

It has a killing radius of a 130 feet.

If I were you, I wouldn't move.

Well.. Ugh!

- Hey, you okay? - Umm..

Uh, I think I'mma freshen up a bit before we go to dinner.

- What the hell is he doing? - Just relax!

It's all under control.

Dad, what the hell are you doing with a landmine in here?

Always expect the unexpected.

Look, I'll tell you what, man.

When we get over to Nipsey's you got to chill

with those embarrassing stories, okay?

And, man, you can't have folks line up

doing squat thrusting formation.

There's nothing wrong with being in top physical condition.

Oh, man.

Well, don't worry, I-I won't embarrass you.

Thank you.

Okay, are you gentlemen ready?

Lady, I was born ready. I am a marine.

Especially, ready to escort a beautiful young thing like you.

Did Tommy ever tell you about the time

I had to suck a marble out of his nose with a vacuum cleaner.

Thank God for Hoovers. This thing was so..

Please don't tell her about..

Excuse me, pardon.

I don't mean to be rude, I know you're with the young lady here.

Uh, how you doing? You seem to be all empty there.

Want a, want a refill?

Yeah, I must've be thirsty than a dog.

I got a...wow.

That'll be $5.95.

It's supoosed to be happy hour, man.

Double.

- Wassup, partner? Alright. - What's up?

Look here, man. I made a few changes.

Changes? What kinda change you make?

Well, let's just say it's gonna fatten your wallet

instead your gut.

- Well, alright! - Alright.

Oh, whoa, whoa, waiter. Hold on.

What you got there?

Oh, it's the Meaty Burger Supreme.

Well, if Diana ain't here it ain't that supreme, man.

- Uh.. - Uh-huh.

Here. Take that.

Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin.

- Yeah, wassup? Wassup? - Red alert, man.

Eh, big happy dude at table two, he you wants some more nuts.

But he only had one drink.

- What? - That's right.

Tell him to put these nuts in his mouth.

He'll be thirsty than a mug.

- So, here I was, in the bush.. - Uh-huh.

My entire company had been taken out.

I was surrounded by Charlie.

So I just whipped out my BAND-IT

and started slicing and dicing.

Pop, pop, come on, man, we are about to eat.

Hmm, it doesn't matter, Tommy. I think I just lost my appetite.

- Tommy! Ha-ha! Wassup, dawg? - Wassup, Coley-Cole!

Yeah, man.

I declare, that boy acts like he been sniffin' napalm.

- How you been, Tommy? - Hey, Nip. Hey!

Let me introduce you to my pop. He is Sergeant Hamilton Strawn.

Pop, this is Nipsey. He owns the place.

How you doing, Mr. Strawn?

- Nice place. - Thank you, sir.

But I gotta ask you something, son.

Have you ever done a pushup in your entire life?

No, no. But I ate a gang of 'em, those things are the bomb.

How could you say that to that man!

Oh, watch your mouth, Tommy.

You ain't but a ham sandwich away

from looking like that yourself.

I'm in good shape. Tell him, Pam.

Hey, don't know about him, but I did my workout.

You know what, I think my appetite is coming back.

I'm ready to get my grub on now.

Yeah, me too. It's chow time!

Who wants a rocks and beef?

Pop, what you doing? Would you put sea rations away?

This is a restaurant!

Yeah, I know that.

But I've seen the food they're serving

if I can't identify it, I ain't eating it.

I-I need a drink.

Umm, me too. Could you get me a white wine spritzer?

Sure, sweetie. Pop, what are you having?

I'll get it for you. This one's on me.

No, man. I said I'll take care of it. So what--

Look son, I'm the senior officer here.

Plus, the word around the barracks is

you ain't got no job.

Ah, I do too have a job.

Give me big old bottle of whiskey

and a white wine spritzer.

I'll have a Virgin Pina Colada, please.

A virgin what?

No, you gonna have the same thing I'm drinking.

I'm gonna make a man out of you if it kills me.

- Hey! - Hi.

- How you doing? - Heh. I'm good.

You know, heaven must be missing an angel

because I am looking at one right now.

- I'm Tommy. - I'm Ladina.

Nice to meet you, Ladina. Can I buy you a drink?

Umm, I'm still working on this one. So maybe later.

- You promise? - We'll see.

- Okay, yeah. - We'll see. Ladina.

Oh, Ladina!

Boy, that was pitiful! Pitiful.

What? How else do you talk to 'em, pop?

Well, if that's the most fire power you can muster up

you better call for reinforcements.

Okay, ho-ho-hold, pop.

When it comes to the ladies, I don't need your advice, okay?

Oh, yeah? Is that why you and Pam over there

are still just friends?

Trust me, pop. I handles mine.

Not like mine. See, I'm still smooth as silk.

How do you think you got here?

Uh, uh, well, that was a long time ago, pop.

I mean, you try some of that smooth stuff now

you may hurt yourself, old man.

I'll tell you what, I bet you that I'll be locking lips

with that pretty young thing over there

before you will. Come on, bet me.

No, I ain't bet you, man. I'm not gonna peen over no woman.

- Well, Tommy. - 'Uh?'

I'm talking to my pops, man.

- Come here for me. - I'll-I'll be right back.

Look here, man.

Your pops been showing you up all your life, man.

You gonna let him show you up over a lady?

- Well, I-- - Just the ladies, man.

- Handle your business. - I can't do that--

Tommy, go, go, go, handle your business.

- This just disrespect-- - Handle your business, man.

- I'll handle it. - Handle it.

Alright.

Sergeant Strawn... you're on, bro.

We'll see who lockin' lips with Ladina by midnight.

- Bet. - Bet.

Handle my business. Ha-ha.

Wait, wait, wait..

So you're stepping up?

Daddy's little boy is finally

ready to wear some long pants, huh?

Well...first of all daddy's little boy

is a grown-damn-man now.

Secondly...let's quit talking and do this.

Alright, but we can't get started yet.

Your friend Martin over there is calling for you.

Wassup, man..

I don't see Ma..

I should have seen this one coming.

Listen, I have traveled all over the world

and I've had a lot of good times.

But I've never seen anybody quite as lovely as you.

Thank you, that's very sweet.

So tell me, what modeling agency are you in?

Well, I am not a model.

- I am a nurse. - A nurse?

Well, I just might need you out there

with me on that dance floor in case I pull somethin'.

Well, I don't know, you look like

you're in pretty good shape to me.

Anyway, I'm shipping out tomorrow.

And I sure love to dance with a beautiful woman before I leave.

Oh, well I think we can work that out.

- Alright. - Yeah.

Cole, what the heck is going on around here?

I mean, the drinks are watered down.

The snacks is whack.

And a potato skin is just...skin.

I mean, can't a sister get a

baking-bit of something around here?

You're gonna have to ask Martin about that one, sweetheart.

What was he got to do with it?

Okay, you're gonna have to keep this on the DL now, alright?

Right.

Martin's a silent partner. Shh!

Well, Lucci Bewond is about to

put Nipsey's out of business.

Excuse me? Ah, Sergeant Strawn there's a phone call for you.

A brother by the name of Colin Powell.

- Colin Powell? - Yes, sir.

- Where's the phone, private? - This way.

Be right back, beautiful.

Make a home!

- Ahh, Ladina. - Yes.

Here's that drink I promised you.

- Thank you. - Yeah, have a seat.

- Okay. - Alright.

You know what, maybe we can have some..

Oh, no, he did not!

- A pay toilet? - Oh, yes, he did.

Nipsey and his new tight white partner won't be gankin' me.

I'm going down to Sugar Shack where

a sister can pee for free.

Oh, handle your business. I can't believe Martin.

cheap behind, this is ridiculous. My last quarter.

Yoo-hoo! Exc-excuse me.

Miss, could you pass me some tissue paper, please?

Pam!

Pam, is that you?

Martin, what the hell are you doing in the ladies room?

I was gonna ask you the same thing.

You supposed to use to fire hydrant outside.

You let me on the sub..

Unh-unh! I have to pay to get out too?

Yeah, that's right, Seattle Slew. And watch yourself.

'Cause I know you used to the stalls down at the stable.

You know what, I can't wait out to get out

of this cheap-ass joint.

Oh, yeah. Well, here you might need this.

I'mma get out of here, as soon as I get a call..

Well, I'm serious, I can take you up

in a B52 Bomber and we could parachute down

hand in hand.

- Oh, that sounds like fun. - Fun?

No, no, no, no, sweetheart.

I-I-I got something that's lot more fun than that.

How would you like to go horseback riding on the beach?

- Yeah, under the moonlight? - Ooh, that sounds romantic.

- Yeah, it does. - It also sounds dangerous.

Maybe you should take me along just for protection.

Oh, no, no, no, no, I can protect her just fine.

Well, why don't we let Ladina be the judge on that, huh?

Come on, son, let's see what you've got.

Oh, it's no problem, pop. Anytime, anywhere.

Oh, my God!

- Oh! - Yeah! Yeah!

Who the man! Who the man! Who the man!

You're the man, yes.

Okay, pop, you check this out.

Pops! Pops! What happened? You okay?

Let me help, Tommy, I'm a nurse.

Oh, my God!

I think he having a problem breathing.

I know CPR, it's okay.

Yo, yo, Tommy, if-if your pops trying to catch a case

it ain't gonna happen. I cancelled the insurance.

That's it boy. I told you, I'd kiss that woman before you did.

I won it!

I don't believe you, pop.

I don't believe that you would stoop so low just to win a bet.

Well, believe it, boy. 'cause I won.

I don't believe it. This is all just a stupid bet?

- Uh.. - Oh, hell no.

See, I was only trying to be nice to you

because you said that you were shipping out.

And the only reason I was being nice to you is because

Father Tom over here was wearing your tired behind out.

I think you both need to grow up.

Oh, Ladina, I'm-I'm so..

Look, pop...can we just get along man, huh?

Why is it that we always have to compete with each other?

Tommy, I just been trying to make

a man out of you, that's all.

Pop, let me tell you something, brother

I may not be the man that you want me to be

but I'm the man that I wanna be.

To me, son, you will always be that little 12-year-old boy.

Pop, I'm ain't 12 since my 13th birthday.

- Yeah. - Look..

Can we call it a truce?

You got it. Cease fire.

- Alright, pop. - I love you, son.

I love you too, pop.

I love you too, man.

Oh, man, that's a beautiful Kodak moment.

Ah, who gonna take care of the tab?

- He is. - He is.

Now, that's hilarious.

That's a funny little jokey-joke.

But somebody better be digging in their pocket

and take care of this check.

- I'll get it, pop. - No.

- Thank you. - Thanks, pop.

- Sir. - Alright, Martin.

We'll see you little later, man.

Let's get out of here. You know, you're pretty strong, pops.

Speaking of checks, Martin.

You can have yours back, man.

- Have my check back? - 'Yeah.'

What, yo-you don't like the improvements I'm makin' around?

You might improve me right out of business.

Oh! Is it like that?

Trust me, Nips, your business won't be same without me.

Trust me!

Hey, everybody, Martin gone. Party time! Come on.