All language subtitles for Martin.S05E17.I.Martin.Take.Thee.Pam.1080p.HMAX.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:04,738 Check out his laugh, though. 2 00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:13,246 - Mr. Ed is wild. - Mr. Ed is the bomb, shoot! 3 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:14,414 Hey, but, you know-- 4 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,549 Horse is a horse is a horse of course. 5 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:21,588 Hey, but look, look for real man you know what I was wonderin' 6 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,923 but don't tell nobody, okay? 7 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,559 Was wonderin' if a horse can really talk like that. 8 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,661 You talk to Pam, don't you? 9 00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:31,231 - Yeah. - Case closed. 10 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:34,934 What you all talkin' about? 11 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,536 - Hey! - What up, Tommy? 12 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,104 Hey, 'sup, Big Tom? 13 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,774 Comin' up in here lookin' like a bald-head penguin. 14 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,842 Yeah, right. 15 00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:45,545 Oh, you know what, I need to borrow your gold cufflinks. 16 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:49,582 Pam and I are going to a black-tie dinner for my job. 17 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,452 Alright, so in other words 18 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,954 you're all dressed up with no place to go. 19 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,189 Aha-ha-ha. 20 00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,625 Come on, man. She's gon' be here in a minute. 21 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,126 Can I borrow the cufflinks or what? 22 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:03,029 Alright, I'mma let you borrow my cufflinks, but.. 23 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:04,697 ...y'all gotta close your eyes I.. 24 00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:06,966 ...can't show you where I keep my valuables. 25 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,568 Wait, what're you talkin' about? 26 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:09,969 Are you serious? Man! 27 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,771 Don't play us like a bunch of stick-up kids. 28 00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:15,475 - Come on. - No, man. We boys, man. 29 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,646 Close your eyes. 30 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:25,118 Alright. 31 00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:38,164 Alright, y'all seen that. 32 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,333 Alright, y'all seen my secret hiding place, huh? 33 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,168 - Now I'mma have to cut you. - Man, come on, hey, hey, hey. 34 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,070 Come on, give me the cufflinks, please. 35 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:45,505 Alright, man. 36 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:46,739 - Hey, Cole. - Huh? 37 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,675 - Hold this, alright? - Alright. 38 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,010 Hey, Tommy man. Take care of my cufflinks, man. 39 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,846 - Let me have these two. - Alright, but take care of 'em. 40 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,080 I'm tellin' you, they're valuable. 41 00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,448 - Thank you. - Hey, yo, yo, yo. 42 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:56,616 What's this? This looks important, man. 43 00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:57,951 What's this? 44 00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:00,854 Oh, that's, uh, my marriage license, Cole. 45 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,922 L-look, look, I know I didn't make it to your weddin', man 46 00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,692 but, uh, Gina was the bride, right? 47 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:10,663 You figure that all out by yourself? 48 00:02:10,763 --> 00:02:13,533 Yeah, um, and Pam was supposed to be the witness, right? 49 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,435 Cole, what is the problem, man? 50 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,370 Well, look, look, look, the problem is right here, man 51 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,039 Gina signed w-where the witness was supposed to sign 52 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:24,511 and Pam signed where the bride was supposed to sign. 53 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:27,380 Let me see this. 54 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,656 Alright. So-so-so they signed in the wrong place. 55 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:37,891 What's the big deal? 56 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,559 Well, Martin, the big deal is 57 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,361 according to this document 58 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:44,831 you and Pam are husband and wife. 59 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,065 Dawg. 60 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,942 Yo, this can't be right. There must be a typo. 61 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,844 No, no, Martin, man, it's right here in black and yellow, man 62 00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:34,948 you are legally married to Pam. 63 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,617 Congratulations, Martin. 64 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,887 Man, please. Can't no man be married to no donkey. 65 00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,289 Oh, that would be your donk.. 66 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,625 I mean y-your wife now. 67 00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,901 Ohh. 68 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,739 What are you fools laughin' at? 69 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:04,143 Hey, hey, Martin y-y-you want me to tell her? 70 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,113 Ain't nothin' to tell, Tommy. 71 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,915 I don't know, man, under these circumstances 72 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,550 I really think she should know. Excuse me. 73 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,219 Can I see this? Thank you. I'll give it back when done. 74 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:14,721 U-uh, Pam, this here.. 75 00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:17,490 i-is Martin and Gina's marriage license. 76 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,558 - Yeah? - Yeah. 77 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,327 But l-look where you signed. 78 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,263 Now look where Gina signed. 79 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,735 Ouch! 80 00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:30,069 Wait! 81 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:32,839 W-wh... i-i-it's just a simple mistake. 82 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,807 You know what I'm sayin'? It could easily be erased. 83 00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:36,409 - No, no, no. - Give me an eraser! 84 00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,077 - Pam, Pam, come on, now. - Just give me an eraser. 85 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,912 - I need an eraser. - Pam! Pamela! 86 00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,582 Hey, relax sweetheart. It is written in pen, okay? 87 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,951 Anyway, you can't mess with a legal document. 88 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,619 Oh, please, please don't tell me 89 00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:49,355 this means what I think it means. 90 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,124 Oh. 91 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,325 Please. 92 00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:56,429 Let me explain this to you in Ebonics. 93 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,364 You be married to Martin. 94 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,709 I wonder how Gina's gonna take this. 95 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,644 Probably the same way Pam took it. 96 00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:12,879 No she's not. 97 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,515 'Cause Gina ain't gon' know about it. 98 00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:19,952 Marin, she's bound to find out once Pam moves in. 99 00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:21,554 Shut up, Cole. 100 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,556 Alright, Gina's under enough pressure settin' up 101 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,558 the office in LA. 102 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:26,859 So, what you gon' do? 103 00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:28,628 I'mma get this marriage license changed 104 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,896 'cause if Gina finds out, man, 105 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,631 my baby might not never come back. 106 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,032 Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, come on. 107 00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:35,335 I-I just, I just wanna wish you luck, okay. 108 00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:38,204 No, no, I'mma go, I'mma go now 109 00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:39,972 and wake up your-your wife. 110 00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:42,475 Pam. Pam, baby, come on. 111 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:45,345 Pam. Oh, Pam! 112 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,513 Man, let me try. I'll wake her up. 113 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:51,384 Uh... Scooby? 114 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,022 Gravy train. 115 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,825 Uh, chuck wagon. 116 00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:02,428 Snausages. 117 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:06,432 'Oh, look, see, she's movin' on Snausages, see?' 118 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,067 - Hey, Cole? - Yeah. 119 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,269 Wanna go to a black-tie dinner? 120 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,206 Sure. But Tommy, I-I can't fit that dress. 121 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:19,846 Pam, I found you some aspirin, maybe.. 122 00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:22,081 Pam? 123 00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:23,616 Where'd she go? 124 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,618 Oh, my, oh, my God. 125 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:28,888 Hey, Pam! What're you doin' out here? 126 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,857 - I'mma jump, Tommy. - What? 127 00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:35,461 I can't live another second being Mrs. Martin Payne. 128 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,130 Come on, come on, Pam. Come on, sweetheart. 129 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,899 Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit? 130 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,100 No! 131 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,903 Imagine if you were married to Martin. 132 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,471 Tommy, forget it! 133 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,039 There's nothing that you can say to me 134 00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:49,976 that can make me change my mind. 135 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,611 Hey, Pam. 136 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:52,712 Denzel? 137 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:55,214 Huh? Ah, Denzel. 138 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,317 No, no, no. 139 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,585 It ain't gon' work this time. 140 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,821 'Cause this situation is critical. 141 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:06,492 Okay, okay, okay, come on, Pam, you can't jump, alright? 142 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,895 Pam. Look, hey, hey, hey, hey, Pam. 143 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:10,496 What about that new hairpiece, huh? 144 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,999 You just bought that. The hairpiece, Pam, come on. 145 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,734 Huh? 146 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,335 Yeah.. 147 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,571 I-I-I did pay a grip for this sucker. 148 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,640 Yeah, you did. 149 00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,608 And you know, i-it's real authentic hair, too. 150 00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:25,311 I can tell that, Pam, and it's lovely, honey. 151 00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:26,813 It's absolutely beautiful, so come on in here 152 00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:28,114 so we can talk about it 153 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,349 and you can stop acting crazy, come on. 154 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,784 - Alright. - Alright? 155 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,519 - That's a girl. - But it's only for my hair. 156 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,354 I know. Now, now come on, you and your hair. 157 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,190 Come on in here. Oh, watch your hair. 158 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,759 There we go. There we go. There we go. 159 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:41,427 - Watch my stockings. - I got you, baby. 160 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,196 - Don't rip 'em. - You're fine. 161 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,198 Lord knows you're fine. Oh, come on. 162 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,532 - Over here. Sit down. - I think I'm sick. 163 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,100 No, no, no. You're gonna be okay. 164 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,602 You're gonna be okay. Just sit over here and relax. 165 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:50,937 - Okay. Okay. - Get comfortable. 166 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,638 - There you go. Don't worry. - Okay. 167 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:54,874 Alright, good. Martin went down for the license viewer. 168 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,642 He's gonna get all this mess all straightened out 169 00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:58,978 and it'll be over before you know it, okay? 170 00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,880 You sure everything's gonna be okay, Tommy? 171 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,682 No, no, big daddy's positive. 172 00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:03,716 - Okay? - Okay. 173 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,885 Everything's gonna be just fine. 174 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,187 Just fine...unless of course, you know 175 00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:10,623 Martin wants you to perform your wifely duties. 176 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,725 - I'm out! I'm out! - No, no, no, no. 177 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,665 Come on, Pam. Hey, hey, relax! 178 00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,001 Alright? 179 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,871 Look, Pam... Come on, now. 180 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,539 You gonna have to cut this out and just relax 181 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:29,008 and calm down, alright? 182 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:31,377 Tommy, just imagine. 183 00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:34,413 Me, Pamela James 184 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,216 being married to... to.. 185 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,085 Hey, come on, come on, come on. 186 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,653 - What? - Come on, you're gonna choke. 187 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,424 It's alright. It's okay. 188 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,926 It's alright. 189 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,262 You know, Pam.. 190 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,364 ...I really don't have to imagine 191 00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:54,100 you being married to Martin, 'cause.. 192 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,402 ...you are married to Martin. 193 00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:57,770 No, no, I didn't mean that. 194 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,242 This don't make no damn sense. 195 00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:05,444 Six weeks to change a marriage license? 196 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:09,849 Man, I got the draws faster than that. 197 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,417 Well, that's what you get for gettin' married 198 00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,286 on that island in the first place, man. 199 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,921 But six weeks, Cole? 200 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:18,457 Man, Pam could've had 101 Dalmatians by then, man. 201 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,126 Alright, Martin, look, just stop, just stop, alright? 202 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,796 Just chill out and try not to think about it, okay? 203 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,464 Oh, I'm trying, Cole. 204 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,801 But I'm married to Pam. I can't believe it! 205 00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,439 As I dream on.. 206 00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:42,882 - Martin, is that you? - Yeah, Pam. 207 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:46,152 Oh, I'm so happy my husband is home. 208 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,987 I'm happy to be home. 209 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,089 - Hi, baby. - Hey. 210 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:53,326 Can you do me a little favor and give me a hand? 211 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,962 Yeah, anything for you, baby. What's that? 212 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,496 Thank you, boo. 213 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,166 Could you help me shave my back? 214 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,109 - Martin. - Cole. 215 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,280 Pa-pack your stuff. We're gettin' out of here. 216 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,015 Uh, okay, well where are we goin'? 217 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,185 Back to the island. I'm gettin' out of this marriage now. 218 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,657 'Tommy, are you sure this is the island where Martin and Gina 219 00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,359 'got married, 'cause it don't look familiar.' 220 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,793 'That's cause you were never here, fool.' 221 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,862 'You missed the wedding.' 222 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,302 'Alright, watch yourself. Be careful.' 223 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,971 - Girl, go put some clothes on. - How you doin', sweetheart? 224 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,373 Aloha. 225 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:42,775 Wait a minute, wait a minute 226 00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,377 this don't hardly look like no courthouse. 227 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,112 Wait a minute, according to the map, this is.. 228 00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:47,546 Yeah, this is definitely the place. 229 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,148 Yeah, well, let's hurry up and find this judge 230 00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,716 so we can get outta here. 231 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,818 And I could free Willy May. 232 00:10:58,190 --> 00:11:00,059 - Hello, ladies. - Hi, how are you doin'? 233 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,329 - Gesundheit. Yeah. - Mm-mm-mm! 234 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,398 Nothin' like a couple of healthy island girls. 235 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,833 - Excuse me, y'all. - Oh, I'mma go with Cole. 236 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,368 Keep him out of trouble, you know? 237 00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:10,369 Just relax. 238 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,904 You tell him to watch himself. 239 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,806 - You watch yourself, okay? - No, you watch yourself. 240 00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,809 I'm tryin' to get this marriage annulled. 241 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,912 All rise. 242 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:23,482 For the right Reverend Justice 243 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:28,187 Leon Lonnie Love. 244 00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,662 Here comes the judge. 245 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:39,265 Pam, ain't that your crooked back-slidin' 246 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,600 go sell it on the mountain cousin? 247 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,703 'Yeah, but he ain't no judge.' 248 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,838 - He's a Reverend. - No, I got news for you. 249 00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:47,907 He ain't no Reverend either. 250 00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:50,943 Yeah, the last time I saw Lonnie was when county jail 251 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,079 accidentally let him out. 252 00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,614 Accidentally let him out? He escaped. 253 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,350 - I saw it on "Cops." - Really? 254 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:02,888 - Who's first? - Mr. and Mrs. Ho, Your Honor. 255 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:06,459 Now, it says here 256 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,528 that you think that Mrs. Ho has been unfaithful. 257 00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:11,731 What makes you say that? 258 00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:16,435 Because she said, "Harry, I've been unfaithful." 259 00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:19,238 I see. Do you still love your husband? 260 00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,207 Oh, with all my heart, Your Honor. 261 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,543 Oh, excuse me. 262 00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:28,881 Hello. 263 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,783 Hi, baby. 264 00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:33,753 Oh, later tonight is good. 265 00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:37,456 Okay, see you then, boo-boo. 266 00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:41,327 What? That was my sister. 267 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,296 Sister my ass! That's another one of her boyfriends. 268 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:46,999 Wait, wait, wait hold on, now. Hold on, Mr. Ho. 269 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,668 Now, although she may have dipped her toe 270 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,971 in the river of sin, there's no reason 271 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,839 to throw the baby out with the bath water. 272 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,241 Divorce denied. 273 00:12:55,307 --> 00:13:00,112 You can pay my girl your court cost as you leave. 274 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,348 Oh, my, my, my, my, my. 275 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:06,118 That Ho sure look good to me. 276 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:09,822 Get thee behind me, Satan! 277 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,959 Next case. 278 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:16,762 - Over with it, please. - Leon Lonnie Love. 279 00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,864 You ain't changed a bit, man. 280 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:23,202 Is that my kissin' cousin on my mama's side thrice removed? 281 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,205 Yes, it's me. What're you up to this time, Lonnie? 282 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,875 Girl, all I know is that the Lord done grabbed ahold of me 283 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,710 and shook me like a tree. 284 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:36,282 And the Reverend Leon Lonnie Love turned over a new leaf. 285 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:39,451 Besides, they ain't got no expedition law. 286 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:46,292 And the native let me be a judge. Ha! 287 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,160 Look here, Lonnie, we got a little problem, 288 00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:50,729 a little situation we need you to help us get out of, alright? 289 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,565 Oh, whoa, wait, wait, you decided not to marry 290 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,567 that big-headed girl? 291 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,869 Nah, man, I did marry the big-headed girl. 292 00:13:56,969 --> 00:14:01,407 Oh, no, no, no, no, see, it say here that you're married to Pam. 293 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,176 - That's the problem, man. - Oh, ain't no problem. 294 00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:07,913 - Welcome to the family, cuz. - Whoa, hey! Hold up, no! 295 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,916 Slow your roll, Lonnie. See the marriage license is wrong. 296 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,052 See, me and Gina signed in the wrong places. 297 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,854 All we need you to do is change it. 298 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,089 Oh, I'm sorry, cousin, I can't do nothin' for you there. 299 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:20,092 See, what the Lord has brought together 300 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,327 can no man put aside. 301 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:22,761 - Martin tell him. - Man, man. 302 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,363 Man, you don't change this marriage license 303 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,065 I'mma put you six feet under, man. 304 00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,566 Well, I'm sorry, my brother 305 00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:31,403 but I answer to a higher power. 306 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:33,706 Okay. Alright, alright. Okay. 307 00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:36,775 How high are we talkin, huh? 308 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,378 Huh, Leon Lonnie Love, huh? 309 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,714 Talking Grant, Franklin. 310 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,082 Huh, what we talkin'? 311 00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:46,418 Well, now, if I was still livin' that foul life 312 00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:49,955 I'd be talkin' Franklin. But I'm not. 313 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,523 Oh, now, come on, cuz. 314 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,926 This is... You gotta help us out, this was all a mistake. 315 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:57,062 Oh, no, no, no. Lord don't make no mistakes. 316 00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:59,131 - Request denied. - What? 317 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,799 Lunch time. 318 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,568 You better do somethin' about this. 319 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,203 Man, man.. 320 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,772 Can you bring me over the baby back ribs 321 00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:09,608 mustard greens on the side, Harry on hot sauce? 322 00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:15,147 Man, lunch time, man? Man, man, you're gonna solve this case. 323 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,482 - Really. - Mr. Payne! 324 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,818 - You are out of order! - No, no, no, no, no. 325 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,954 You're out of order 326 00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:26,125 this whole court is out of order! 327 00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:28,160 - Get off me man! - Bailiff, bailiff, bailiff! 328 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,762 - All you need to do is sign. - Pay for these coconut! 329 00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:31,430 - I ain't signin'. - All you need to do is sign. 330 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:37,770 This is crazy. This is really, really crazy. 331 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:41,840 I fly all this way with Harold Muppet and the Bluenotes 332 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,177 and I still can't get out of this marriage. 333 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:48,514 Needn't worry. We gettin' out of this marriage, alright? 334 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,517 'Cause when Lonnie gets back, I'mma whoop his happy ass. 335 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,652 Okay, violence is not gonna solve the problem. 336 00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:56,455 Yeah, yeah, don't do that, man, why don't you just beat him up? 337 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,691 Cole, you just shut up, please? 338 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,859 'You make no sense at all.' 339 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,196 Well, well, well. Aloha! 340 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,798 Excuse me, y'all. 341 00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:08,934 I'mma go have myself Kahlua with Kalani. 342 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,038 Yeah, that fool keep followin' them women around 343 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,607 they gonna throw his butt in the volcano. 344 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:20,279 You know what? This is all your fault. 345 00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:22,314 If you hadn't signed your paw print 346 00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:25,684 in the wrong place, we wouldn't be in this mess. 347 00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,053 Well, if Gina would've listened to me in the first place 348 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,156 and never married you, we wouldn't be in this mess either. 349 00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:34,226 Hey.. Aw, damn! 350 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,895 Well, at least we not married anymore. 351 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,398 Yeah, but I ain't married to Gina no more either. 352 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:43,569 You got yourself to blame, Strawberry shortcake. 353 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,204 Give me. Give me this, Martin. 354 00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:48,040 - Playin' all the time. - See this? 355 00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,975 - Tommy, what are you doin'? - What the hell are you doin'? 356 00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,077 Hey, hey, hey, think about it, Martin. Think about it, man. 357 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,412 If you tell the judge 358 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,214 that your marriage license was destroyed 359 00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:56,582 and give you another one, but this time 360 00:16:56,682 --> 00:17:00,252 Pam, make sure you sign on the witness line. 361 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,324 I get it, then I won't be married 362 00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,892 to Dick Van Tyke anymore. 363 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:08,360 Yeah, yeah, I get it, too. 364 00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:12,531 Then I won't be married to the notorious P-I-G anymore. 365 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,276 Oh, you again? Now look, I dine told you. 366 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,780 I can't let you out this marriage now. 367 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,116 Now, just what part of "No" don't you understand? 368 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,519 No, no, no. You got it wrong, Lonnie. 369 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,455 Uh, w-w-we're happy being married. 370 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,725 Look, we had a little accident man, alright? 371 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,628 Pammy goat here got hungry and ate the license. 372 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,563 - Why do you always have to-- - So, we need another license. 373 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:45,864 That's right, we need another one. 374 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,299 - Oh, is that all? - Yeah. 375 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,535 Well, here you go. 376 00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:50,636 Oh, no, no, no, no wait. 377 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,204 Don't forget to sign it, Lonnie. 378 00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,407 Oh, no. I can't sign it unless I actually marry y'all. 379 00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:58,143 Oh, hell no! 380 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,548 Wait a minute, guys. 381 00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,050 Listen, the ceremony doesn't mean anything. 382 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:07,886 As long as Pam signs on the witness line 383 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,155 you two are not married. 384 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,623 - Okay? - This better work. 385 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:16,128 - This better work. - I do. But make it quick. 386 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:19,631 No, somethin' funky up in here. 387 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,336 No, no, that's just Pam's breath, alright? 388 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,904 - Why don't you shut up? - Okay alright, alright. 389 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,310 You know what, I ain't convinced that y'all really in love. 390 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:34,113 And if I'm not convinced, I know the Lord ain't convinced. 391 00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:37,916 which means, this is a union born of Beelzebub. 392 00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:40,686 Oh, no, no, no. Not at all, Your Honor. 393 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,020 They-they're very much in love 394 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,857 in fact, they're crazy about one another. 395 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,693 Well, y'all gonna have to prove it to me. 396 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,094 - Prove it to you? - Mm-hmm. 397 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,462 See, let me demonstrate. 398 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,431 When you're in love with a beautiful woman 399 00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:57,035 like this here, you gotta put your arms around her. 400 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,606 So you can be fruitful and multiply. 401 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:05,310 If you don't back off your stinkin' behind off of me 402 00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:08,814 you're gonna see the Lord and savior personally. 403 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,016 That's right, that's right. We are cousins. 404 00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:14,887 which, by the way, don't mean a damn thing on this island. 405 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,321 So you can get it, girl. 406 00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:17,856 If you're not gonna show me the love 407 00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:20,492 at least you can show your man some. 408 00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:27,633 Alright. See? See! 409 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:34,306 Now, Martin, tell your woman she beautiful. 410 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:38,911 I would, if I could get past the fur. 411 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,078 - Okay, okay. - See? 412 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:43,248 No, no, no, no. 413 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:44,583 No, Your Honor, they ain't fighting, you know 414 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,585 they joke like this all the time. 415 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,086 Now, you know a sense of humor 416 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,355 is very important in any marriage. 417 00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:53,392 But I'm still not feelin' the fire. 418 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:56,828 Martin, go on and bust some slobs. 419 00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:59,231 Give her some sugar, man! 420 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,433 I gotta bust some slob with her, Leon? 421 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,602 Go on, man. Give her some sugar. 422 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,671 Give her a little sugar. 423 00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,105 Alright. 424 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,175 I was saving these for the ducky ride back to the airport 425 00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,077 but, uh.. 426 00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:14,613 In this case, in this situation, you can have them now. 427 00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,415 You're so stupid. 428 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:20,018 I'm still waitin' for that kiss. 429 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:26,391 - Okay. - You can do it, you can do it. 430 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:32,397 - Here we go. - Hail Mary! 431 00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:38,303 'That's beautiful, man.' 432 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,738 See what I'm tellin' you. 433 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,774 - Love will do that to you. - Oh! 434 00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:45,277 That's all I was lookin' for. 435 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:46,712 Now, come on, you young people 436 00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:49,748 let's kick this ceremony off correct. 437 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:52,918 Pam, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? 438 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,086 I do. 439 00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:55,821 Martin, do you take this woman 440 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,656 to be your lawfully wedded wife? 441 00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:58,757 I do. 442 00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:01,126 By the powers vested in me 443 00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:03,328 by the island of Quackahowa 444 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,665 I now pronounce you man and wife. 445 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,667 - There we go. - Sign the thing. 446 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,269 Sign the thing. Alright. 447 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,638 Now have I mentioned that it's normal 448 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,506 to make a little contribution 449 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:17,009 to the Reverend Love Scholarship Fund 450 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,311 for wayward island girls? 451 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:22,514 Yeah. Yeah, I'mma make a nice donation. 452 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:25,317 And it's, uh, it's a size nine! 453 00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:38,997 - Hey, hey, Martin. - The watch. Get the watch. 454 00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:40,832 Get the watch. 455 00:21:44,102 --> 00:21:45,337 - Wait. - What, what, what, what. 456 00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:47,372 I think this is the part where I faint. 457 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:50,142 What? No. Come on, Pam, walk, baby. 458 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:52,611 Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. 459 00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:53,845 Come on, come on. 460 00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:55,380 Pam, come on. Wake up, girl. 461 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,815 Hold on. Come here, come here. 462 00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:59,217 - Let me try that line again. - Okay. 463 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:01,353 I hated the actin' on that one. 34569

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.