Original subtitles

You know what I'm saying, that's what she told me.

- Yeah, right. - That's what she told me.

Alright, now, Mr. Willie, go on ahead and hook a brother up.

Cole, how's he supposed to cut your hair with your hat on, man?

Shoot, man, Mr. Jim ain't never had no problem.

He just, he just hit that part right there that's showin'.

Well, you got a choice.

You can pull your hat off

or you wait for my brother Jimbo

to get back from the divorce court.

Alright, which way you want to do it?

Alright, man, shoot, I'm gonna take it off, but, look..

You just leave the spit-ends on the top. Don't touch that.

- Don't touch the top. - Leave that alone.

Alright, Samuel, what kind of shine do you want today?

You want the Michael Jordan or the Isaac Hayes?

What's the difference?

The Michael Jordan makes you look rich.

The Isaac Hayes makes you

look like you used to be rich.

Then give me the Jordan

'cause I'm steppin' out tonight, dawg!

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Cole, at what club you'll steppin' out?

Yeah, yeah, we're goin' out.

Listen, Cole, Cole, look.

At what time you gonna pick me up, dawg?

Ooh, can't do that, man. You gonna have to come and scoot me.

Yeah, I had to put the pay slip down for a little R and R.

Uh..

Cole, what the hell is R and R, man?

I had to relocate it before they repossessed it.

Hey, it ain't funny.

Alright, then, I'll be able to pick you up at30

but be ready, man, that place gonna be packed.

- Yeah, yeah. - What club you'll goin' to?

Oh, this is a new joint called the Sugar Shack.

- Cole! - Yeah.

- The Sugar Shack? - 'Yeah!'

Wait a minute, I don't, I know where that is.

That's down there, right off, uh..

Wh-where-where's that Sugar Shack at again?

That's at joint skid over down on 3rd street.

- Yeah, yeah. - Okay, cool.

Alright, so what's up?

Rollin' down there with y'all?

Well, uh, Martin, frankly

we didn't plan on you rollin' at all.

Yeah.

Okay..

- Taking a lead off. - Alright, well, I'mma go.

I'm-I'm-I'm head on down there, so I just thought

whatever, I'll meet y'all out there.

I'll meet y'all down there. Is that cool?

Whatever that, man, whatever that.

You gonna do that, man?

Come on, man. You know Gina ain't lettin' you out.

Oh, oh, okay. It's like that. That's what you sayin'.

Gina ain't lettin' me out of the house.

Here we go again, man. I told you, Cole.

Don't no woman be lettin' me out, man.

No woman let's him out. You remember that!

My bad. I apologize. You know. That's all.

Oh, you don't believe me?

Look, man, I'll call Gina right now.

Martin. Hey, hey, hey, Martin, Martin, Martin!

Come on, we got a front, bro!

Pam already told me, Gina's out of town

settin' up that new office in LA.

- 'Ooh!' - Yeah.

Ooh-phew!

Alright. But even if Gina was here, I'd still be down.

You know what I mean? 'Cause I go where I please.

I just tell her, you know, what I'm doin'

and she flows with it.

She flows with it.

What's up!

Yeah.

Look out, Sugar Shack.

Martin man, gonna be fly tonight.

Oh, man! That's the way it is, sometimes.

- Hi, Martin! - Oh! Oh-oh!

Miss Waters.

Hi, how you doin'? What you doin' here?

Oh, I came to visit you and Gina.

Oh, well, Miss Waters, Gina's not here right now.

She's away on business.

But I'll tell her you said, "Hey!"

Oh, I know that, silly.

I saw Gina before she left

and she made a great suggestion.

Hmm, and what suggestion was that?

Well, you know that

you're my favorite son-in-law.

Right?

Well, Ms. Waters, I'm the only son-in-law.

But, Marty, I don't feel like

we really know each other.

So, we're going to spend the whole weekend together.

The whole weekend?

Yeah, won't that be exciting?

Ah, yeah, Ms. Waters, that'd be exciting.

I'm delighted by that.

- Oh, good! - You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

Hangin' out with Ms. Waters.

Dominos! I win!

Come on, let's go again.

Nah, nah, Miss Waters, I don't play no more.

You done beat me 15 times or what..

Okay, then, let's play Monopoly.

Monopoly?

Oh, Marty, Marty, Marty!

I am so glad I get to spend

all this time with you.

Well, me, too, Ms. Waters.

Now, do you want to be the hat or the shoe?

Y-you know, Ms. Waters, I'm getting a little tired.

I don't play no more games.

You know let's-let's just watch, uh, let's watch..

Watch television!

Sure. Why not?

Well, look, Ms. Waters, I was thinking

more like a video, let's watch a video.

Um, Gina keeps them in the bedroom.

Why don't you go pick one out?

Oh, anything for my

favorite son-in-law.

Martin.

Uh, I-I didn't see

any videos in there.

Did you check under the bed?

Gina likes to keep-keep tapes under the bed.

Well, why would she keep the videos under the bed?

I don't know, Ms. Waters, she's your daughter.

Martin.

Yeah.

The only thing I found

under your bed

were these handcuffs.

Well, I guess Gina got a little freaky now.

You know, Cliff says the same thing about me.

Ms. Water's, here's the video right here.

Oh, wow, right here under the TV.

You gonna, you gonna like this, Ms. Waters.

What-what-what is it?

The "Fred Williamson" collection.

Ooh, I love me some Fred Williamson.

Do you remember "Black Caesar?" "Hell up in Harlem?"

- "Bucktown?" - Got 'em all. Got 'em all.

Good.

Yeah, yes.

- That.. - Come on, Marty.

Ooh-hoo!

Ah.

This one was always good..

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah.

You're gonna miss the good part.

I know that..

Ms. Waters, you know what..

I'm-I'm getting a little tired.

So, I'm-I'm gonna call it a night.

But, Martin, i-i-it's just30.

Well, Ms. Waters, if I don't get at least 14 hours of sleep

I ain't no good to nobody.

Alright, well, you go on and get your rest, honey.

- Goodnight, Martin. - Goodnight, Ms. Waters.

- Thank you. - You're welcome, sweetheart.

You know, it's so nice to have you here.

Oh, well, thank you.

I'm havin' a good time.

Well, goodnight, Ms. Waters.

- Sweet dreams. - Sweet dreams to you too.

Hey. Ms. Waters. How you doin'?

- Pam, how are you? I'm good. - Good to see you.

Um, Gina left some papers in her briefcase

and she needs me to fax them to her.

- Oh, well, come on in. - Cool. I just don't know..

Okay.

So, how's Jerkules treatin' you?

Oh, shh.

Martin's asleep.

- Lucky you. Be happy. - Oh, now, Pam.

You know it's good thing that Gina called before I left

'cause I was about to get my groove on.

Dancing.

Oh.

That sound like fun.

I haven't been dancing in years.

You dance, Ms. Waters?

Oh, girl, I used to do a whole lot of funky chicken in my day.

What do you think?

Oh..

I think you need to hang with me.

We got to get a little of that funk out of the chicken.

- Oh, oh, I couldn't do that. - I know, I understand.

Sometimes, age does get in the way, girl.

Oh, now, hold on a minute. I can hang.

Just give me a chance to-to change my clothes

write a note for Martin.

- And we'll be on our way. - Wonderful.

By the way, where are we goin' anyway?

Oh, yo, I hear this place is the bomb.

They call it the Sugar Shack.

- Sugar-Sugar shack. - Hurry up.

So we can get some sugar in our shack

and shake it up.

Boy, I'm goin' out with Gina's mother.

Yeah.

Hey, baby, where you goin'?

Oh, I know you ain't tired. Come on.

Well, sorry, sister

I ain't gonna show you all my, my moves, in one shot.

That's my jam, come on.

I'm sorry, but, darling

you gonna have to get your jam all by yourself

'cause I'm married.

You know what I mean? Excuse me.

Uh, I'm not married.

Hello, my name is Habib.

Is it like that?

Ooh.

Hey.

What's up, man? I saw you out there, dawg.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gettin' busy, gettin' busy.

You know I started doin' little somethin', somethin'.

Hey, hey, check this out, dawg.

All I know is by tomorrow morning

I'll be laid up with my new honey.

All I need is two more digits, 5-5-5-7-5.

What are you talking about, man?

The woman you was with just left.

- No, no she didn't. She didn't. - Yes, she did.

- Of course she just left-- - She-she didn't leave, Tommy.

She didn't leave.

She said she had to go to her car

to get the rest of the numbers.

Cole.

You have just fallen for the oldest

trick in the book, man.

She wasn't that old, Tommy.

You know what, Tommy, I need a drink, man.

Excuse me, excuse me, I'm waitin'--

Hold on, hold on, hold on

everybody have their ID's out and ready.

ID? I don't have an ID.

I'm sorry, I can't let you in then.

Oh, come on, man. Look how old she looks.

Excuse me.

No, I-I didn't mean it in that way, Ms. Waters.

Look, I can't let anybody in without an ID.

Alright, alright, alright, looks like I'mma have to flex

my power around here.

I do know the owner.

Look, I-I'll be right back. I just got look for him, okay?

Alright.

- Alright, watch-watch my butt. - Yeah.

Uh, no disrespect.

But you are wearin' a helluva dress.

Oh, well, thank you.

So, she said her name was Pootie Tang.

I asked her again, she said the same thing.

Hey, Martin, I thought you were gettin' a drink.

They're all out of drinks, man.

Hey-hey, look, with all this music being so loud

I can't, I can't even hear myself think.

Let's-let's go over here.

Hey, hey, what're you doin', man?

Excuse me.

What is goin' on, man?

Excuse me.

Now, ain't it quieter over here?

Hey, hey, look, there's Pam.

- Hey, Buddha. - Woah, woah, woah.

Last thing I need is Weird Al-Stinkovich.

And giving me the blues.

Okay, okay. Come on, alright, tell us, brother

what's up with you?

Yeah, man, you all.. Why you buggin'?

I just..

Gina's mother came into town to visit.

Gina ain't here.

You know what I'm saying, I had to sneak out

'cause she wants me to spend

all of my time with her.

So, I had to sneak out just to get this on.

Okay, alright.

There's nothing wrong with that. What's the problem?

What's the problem? There.

Oh, my, damn!

- Alright. - Ooh, you in trouble.

You know, she gonna tell Gina.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

Martin.. cool.

See, Martin, don't let no woman..

- Boss him around. - Boss him around.

Look, look, you'll got to help me get out of this club.

Okay, now-now you gotta distract Pam

uh, in case she picks up my scent.

- Okay. - Okay.

Hey, hey, alright. This what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna go get Mrs. Waters away

from-from the front door, okay?

Yeah, cool. So I start to sneak out, you know.

Right. No, no, no, in case it doesn't work..

Then, nice knowing you.

What's up, man?

Hey, hey. What's happening? Tone Loc.

Yeah, so you are right. What's up, dawg?

It's all good, man. You know. Yeah.

- Just hanging with.. - Same as everything.

This club is the wow thing, huh?

Oh, hey, no, it's alright, you know.

- I can't complain. - 'That's right. That's right.'

- Can you do me a favor? - What's that, hommie?

- Stand right here. - Woah, what's up, man?

- Yeah, right there. - Yeah.

Cool.

So check this out, man.

I'm gonna invite some of the fly honey's outta here

in Detroit to my grand opening.

So, what you doin' here standing here all by yourself?

Well, man, I'm just a little shy, you know.

- You're a little shy. - 'Uh-huh.'

Hold up, aren't you that same brother

that hosts the word on the street?

Yeah yeah, that-that would be me, Martin-Martin Payes.

Right, right, right.

- Yeah. - Look. Do me a favor.

- 'Yeah.' - Keep that on the down, Loc.

- 'Oh, yeah.' - Man down, huh?.

Creeping it, huh?

I understand, right. You badass.

- Enjoy the club, Martin. - No doubt, no doubt.

You're doin' the right thing.

Hey, girls, I'm serious, you look absolutely gorgeous.

Oh, thank you.

Tell me, what you been doin' since you been in town?

Well, you know, Tommy, tonight I'm just out tryin'

to get my groove up.

Hey, I don't know.

Oh, so, so, listen.

Um, why-why-why don't we get a drink, huh?

Oh, but they won't let me in without an ID.

They won't let us, but she..

Okay, then I guess we just go ahead and dance right here.

Come on, we gonna straighten your stuff.

Show us what you got, girl.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What to do, eh?

Come on, lady.

Look-look here, Habib or whatever your name is.

Look, y'all wanna-wanna meet some fly honeys?

Oh, yes, I'm most anxious to get my groove on.

Oh, yeah.

Follow me to this club.

I'll show you where all my honey's at.

Very good. Let us get it rolling.

Yeah.

Locked my keys in the car. I gotta walk all the way home.

Had to walk all the way home.

Hoo!

Oh, she did not lock the door.

Well, man.

Martin, you scared me.

What are you doing?

I'm just sleep-walkin', Ms. Waters.

I'm sleep-walkin'. That's all that is.

Do you always sleep walk in your suit?

Just because I'm sleeping

oh, man I can't be fly, you know what I mean?

Martin, what are you up to?

Ms. Waters, you tell me.

You don't want to rollin' up in here 2 o'clock in the morning

dressed like Josephine Baker.

Oh, Martin, I was just

out with Pam, you silly.

So, that ain't nothin' to be braggin' about.

Now, Martin, I am not the issue here.

But I'm sure Gina that will want to know

what you were doing dressed up

and sneaking into the house at this time of night.

Well-well, maybe I should call Dr. Waters

and tell him you have been hangin' out

with Sting Master Flash.

Dr. Waters.

Oh.

Hold on, Martin.

I thought you'd change your mind.

Hmm. Where did you get that wrist band?

Oh, this? Ah..

I got-got this from the hospital. Yeah.

Yeah, my mama told me to put this on

and-and vowed never to take it off.

Remember like Brue Lee

You know you had 'em..

I take it off, I got to hurt somebody.

Would that hospital happen

to be called The Sugar Shack?

Oh, damn.

Mrs. Waters, look

I know what it looks like

but I wasn't tryin' to cheat on Gina.

I was just tryin' to hang out with the fellas

you know, get some time out.

Oh, why did you lie, Martin?

Well, because Gina might not understand, Ms. Waters.

You know what I mean? Would, would, would

Dr. Waters understand?

The way you were pushin' up on that bouncer.

Excellent point.

I can forget about tonight if you can.

What's there to forget? You went to bed early.

And I spent the evening with Fred Williamson.

That's my favorite mother-in-law.

- Thank you. - Wanna play pachisi?

Hello. How you doin'?

Do you have a daughter?

Is her name Pootie Tang?

She's partyin' at the Sugar Shack.

Oh, ah-ah, my-my bad, reverend.

Yeah, Amen. Right.

Cole, where you been for the past three hours?

Oh, man, look, Tommy, I'm tryin' to figure out

uh, the last two digits in Pootie Tang's number.

- Who? - Pootie Tang.

Cole, come on, man. Lemme ask again.

I'mma gonna tell you the same.

- Okay. - C-C-Cole, you stupid.

Yeah, I know, but can you loan me about 40 dollars in dimes?

'Cause I'm gonna try to figure out every combination

that I can. Alright, you big..

Maybe I'll call collect.

Yeah, connect from Cole.

How ya doin'? Yeah, I'm looking for Pootie Tang.

Right. Was she partyin' at the Sugar Shack?

Ah. Alright, lady.

Don't bite my head off.

How am I suppose you a senior citizen?

Well, what-what you got on?

Line.

'Well, even if Gina was here'

'I'd still be down married and..'

You wanna write a book, man?

What were you doing at the Sugar Shack?

What was I doin'?

Why did you lie, Martin?

I didn't lie.

My line.

Took me somebody's shoes.