Original subtitles

Alright.

If you would like a transcript of the show

it will be posted up at the end of the show.

And, uh, please, remember, join us next week

where Chihuahuas take over Hollywood.

It's a very fine episode that you'll enjoy.

Alright, today on "Word On The Street"

we're talking with women..

...who, who have men jobs.

That's where you're wrong, Martin.

There's no such thing as a man's job.

So what you're tryin' to say, Rhoda Hooda?

That women could lay as much pipe as a man?

More. More, baby, more.

- More? - More.

More?

And, plus, we look better doin' it.

Well, I'll admit, baby got a little backdraft.

Can I put that out? Can I put that out?

But, fellows, tell the truth

come on, be honest with yourselves.

If you was in a real fire, who would you want to rescue you?

A pretty little young thang?

Little young tenders?

Or do you want a real fireman to rescue you?

Why can't you accept the fact

that a woman can do anything a man can do?

- That's right. - 'Cause it ain't true!

Now, get out of my face, sister soldier!

- Your face, soldier? - Shut up!

Get out of my face! Get out of my face!

This is my thing, "Word On The Street!"

Say, it is a man's world. You better recognize.

Get out of my face! Get out of my face!

- 'Hey..' - 'Hey, you.'

- Look at my boo. - Heh-heh-heh.

Looking just as fine as you wanna be.

- How are you? - Mm. What's up?

- What's up? - What's up, honey?

- How was your day? - Ah, baby, I was working hard.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

And I'm hungrier than a mug, Gina.

Me, too. So what you fixing?

- Me? - Yeah, you.

From what I hear, a woman can't do anything as good as a man

so I figured you get your butt in the kitchen and cook.

Oh, oh, I get it, Gina.

Oh, apparently, you done saw the show, Gina.

Come on, baby, alright, now that's real funny, okay?

Alright? Now where's my eats?

You want your eat, you better use your feet.

Oh, come on, Gina.

Baby you can't get mad at what I said.

It's show business, baby.

So, then, you really don't believe

that a man can do a better job than a woman?

Gina, baby.

Listen to me, listen to me good, okay?

I didn't make the rules.

If you got beef, take it up with Mother Nature, baby.

- Mother Nature.. - Mother Nature?

- 'Yeah.' - Mother Nature?

So then we do agree that nature was made by a woman?

I'll give you that.

But she works for God.

And everybody knows He's the man. Ha-ha.

- Everybody know that, Gina. - Martin..

I'm saying ain't no place to argue that, Gina.

No, no, no, Martin, this is ridiculous!

Women are just as good as men in politics, medicine, law..

- Sports. - Sports?

Did you say.. Don't you talk, girl. Sports?

Now, Gina, somebody done told you wrong.

Look, there ain't no woman that can beat a man at any sport.

- Not any sport that I know of. - Oh? Oh, really? Really?

Then, um, I would like to see you beat Dominique Dawes

in the balance beam.

Ain't, nah, uh, no thanks. Okay?

No, baby, men don't balance beam.

Come on, one wrong move, ba-waw, we singing like Philip Bailey.

Alright, Martin! Alright, Martin. Alright.

Then what about, um, basketball? What about? That's a good--

- Basketball? - Yeah.

Are you..

- Are you se-- - What?

Gina, look at my style, Gina. Look-look at my style, okay?

Look at my style, Gina. Are you serious?

Uh, bitchin' that, baby.

Some woman beating old Marty Mart in a game of ball.

Baby, uh-uh, don't do that to yourself.

Okay, then, why don't we play each other, Martin?

Let's-let's do that, your team against mine.

- How about that? - Gina..

- Would you.. - What? What? What?

Would you stop it?

You are killing me! Are you serious?

- Yes, I am serious, Martin. - Baby.

- My jump shot is like that! - Martin, I'm serious.

And just to make it a little bit more interesting, baby, uh-huh

while we do this, the loser has to wait on the winner

hand and foot, for a month.

That's how serious I am with mine.

Alright, Gina, it's on. Okay?

You know, because I can't wait to be treated like a king.

Baby, get in there and run my bath water.

And, remember, I like lots and lots of bubbles.

Bubble it up.

- What's up, y'all? - What's up, Martin?

- Hey, Martin, Martin. - Hey, hey.

- What's happening, baby? - What's up, Martin?

- Hey, hey, Martin, look here. - What's up?

I saw your show this afternoon, man, I got to tell you

for all the men in America, thank you, my brother.

- 'Yeah, that's right. Mm-hmm.' - 'Cause you is the man.

- You is the man. - I appreciate that, you know?

All I did was sell it like it is. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah, but, you know

I'mma tell you something, you weren't lying

about women getting men's jobs.

You know, I had a female barber once.

I told her she couldn't cut hair.

You know, she turned around cuttin' me?

- Ha-ha.. - That's right.

Ah, that reminds me, you better get

that restraining order renewed.

Now, look here, Martin, hey, check this out, man.

After I seen your show today, I went home and told moms

"Aye, I'm not greasing the scalp

no more." You know what I'm saying?

Got me getting sick over some sulphate, no!

- 'Right.' - You know I'm saying?

- And that's woman's work. - Heh-heh, that's right.

You-you know, that's funny, Cole, 'cause I didn't even know

you was going through that, man.

Man, put a brother through it, you know?

So what did she do?

Oh, she whupped my ass. I mean..

Aye, aye, aye, but I done my point.

- I talked. - Caught you.

And I'm proud of you, too, Cole. I just want you to know that.

Aye, you know, the-the question is, Martin

how's Gina taking all this?

- Tommy, trip this. - What?

It make me laugh when I think about it, but..

- What's so funny? - Alright, alright, trip this.

- Gina and her girls.. - Right.

Had the nerve, right

to challenge old Marty Mart at a game of basketball!

Oh, no!

- Know what I'm saying? - I don't believe it.

Wants to play Marty Mart. Yeah.

Hey, Martin, no, no, no, no, no. Let me get this straight now.

Gina and her girls is challenging

you and your boys to a game of basketball?

- That's what I'm saying-- - Ha-ha!

Lookie here, let me get a piece of that action. Ha-ha-ha!

Me, too. I got five dollars on.

- You got five? - Hold on, hold on, Martin.

- Who is on your team? - Tommy, it don't matter.

Man, I could play with the sorriest players in the world

on my team, and we'd still win.

- Alright. - So you and Cole playin'?

Straight the kiss pass to the hug

then the hug pass to the kiss.

No, we're on different teams.

This don't make no sense.

Pam! Come on.

- This is really hard! - Alright.

So what do you think about our uniforms?

That's not a uniform. That's a hoochie form.

- Don't let Martin see it. - I like--

- Oh.. - Oh..

- What's up, Pam? - What's up?

What you think of our uniforms?

Who you tryin' out for?

The New York Stankies?

Why don't you go bungee jump off a curb, shortling trailblazer?

Alright, alright, alright, y'all save it for the court.

- Save it for the court, girl! - Yo, whatever.

- Whatever, whatever. - Like you gonna ball.

- Alright, y'all, save it. - Alright, Gina.

I'll make it easy on you, if you back out now

I'll only make you wait on me for two weeks.

Oh, no, no, a bet's a bet.

Unless it's you that wants to back out.

Sound like somebody a little chicken--

I smell some chicken, too.

Alright, Gina, alright, Gina, I was gonna go easy on you

but now I'mma have to teach you a lesson.

Baby, let's double the bet. Make it two months.

Oh, I see your two and I raise you two more.

- Alright? - 'Ooh.'

- Oh, okay, fine. - Ah..

Alright, t-t-that's cool and all

but all I wanna know is how, uh, you and Pam Cassell

gonna stop Marty Mart's all-stars.

Huh? How you gonna do that?

How you gonna do that, huh? In your face.

- Does he think we're playing? - I think he thinks we're play--

- We're not playing, Martin. - No.

- I'm not playing either. - No.

No, no, we're not really playing in the game. We're coaching.

- We're the coaching staff. - Coaching!

Wait a minute, who's on your team?

- Dr-r-r.. - Martin.

I would like to introduce to you

the USA Women's Olympic Basketball Team.

- Yes, darling. - Darling!

Right here. What up, y'all?

Dawn in the house! That's right.

Rebecca in the house! Sheryl in the house!

Teresa in the house! Ha-ha!

- Ah ha, ah ha ha! - Ah-hah-ha.

What you gonna do now, Runty Stillskid?

Uh, l-let the games begin!

- Let the games begin. - We gonna win, y'all.

I don't believe Gina went out and got the Women's Olympic

Basketball Team! How the hell she know them?

Look, Tommy, they're her clients, man.

I-I can't believe Gina would stoop that low

to win a game, man.

She playing me, y'all.

Yeah, but, Martin, man, you said that can't no woman

beat a man at any sport. So what's the problem?

There ain't no problem, Cole.

The only problem is we got to come up with a game plan.

- Hm. - Yo, Tommy..

We may actually have to break a sweat with these girls, man.

Damn it, man! We-we ain't gonna go

out there and get clowned man, okay?

- We gotta come with a strategy. - I got a strategy.

- I got it, I got it, I got it. - Alright. What is it?

Martin, you get up on my shoulders, right

and we'd be, like, as tall as them. That'll work.

Cole, at least if I got on your shoulders, you have a brain.

Follow me? You have a thinking process there.

- We double.. By two legs. - That was your damn strategy?

We gonna lose, man! We losing!

- Tommy, now stop it, okay? - No.

Would you, would you stop panicking, man?

Alright? Now all we gotta do is get some brothers that can play.

Martin, I can play ball, man, trust me, dodgeball, kick ball.

Balls is me, I am balls.

Cole, youse about to catch a flagrant foul, man.

W-w-which fragrance you talking about? Like, that CK one?

- That's the bomb, right there. - Hey.

That's fragrant, fool!

That's it Martin, I'm serious. I quit. Call the game off.

- Tommy. - I'm done, man. Call it off!

I'm not calling no game off! Okay?

And damn now, I'm not calling no game off.

And I didn't wanna have to flex

but looks like I'mma have to call the man.

Don't, don't do that! Don't do that, man.

Every time something go wrong

people always wanna call the man.

The brothers can handle this one.

No, no, Cole!

I ain't talking about the other man.

I'm talking about the brother man.

I'm calling Michael Jordan, man.

Oh, man, please, Mike ain't gonna take your call.

That's where you're wrong, Domer Simpson.

Hey, you guys don't know my middle name. It's Tropicana.

- What the hell that mean? - Means I got juice.

Hello, Nike? Yeah, let me speak to Mikey.

Cool, I'll hold.

Let's go, come on, do this. Come on, do this.

- 'Come on, girl!' - Yeah!

Looking good, looking good! Let's go!

- Ah! - Come on, come on.

Whoo!

Damn, did you see that, man? They taller than I thought.

Word, 'cause on TV they like, they like this big, you know?

Aye, hey, it don't matter, man, alright?

We gonna beat 'em anyway. They girls.

- That's right, that's right. - You know what I mean?

Shoot. Alright.

- Big Mike gonna get here yet? - Hey, man, don't sweat that.

Don't worry about that. I-I got a All-American coming.

Yeah? Alright, good.

Because we gonna need somebody to pass the ball to it

all the scoring man Mike gonna be doing--

Hey, hey, yo, Martin, Martin

I think I see him coming right now.

Michael Jordan here? Michael Jordan here, y'all!

Uh, not exactly Michael Jordan. I got, I got a ringer, though.

Air Gordon. Come on, come on, man, come on.

Come on, man! Hurry up!

No! Oh..

Who the hell did you play for, man?

The Frederick Douglass all-stars?

Look here, young fellow.

I was an MVP in the final four.

Of course, there were only four colleges back then.

- 'Let's go, girls!' - Hey.

- Right there. - Come on.

Watch.

Damn! Damn! What's up huh? What's up? Huh?

Huh, y'all should call me daddy. Call me daddy.

I should've been the one with the gold medal, huh? What's up?

You know, I would give you mine

but I doubt that little neck could hold it up.

- Let's go. - Ah-ha! Ah-ha-ha!

Were you supposed to be defending me?

Or was that the famous matador defense?

- Ole! - Ha!

- Oh, go! - Let's go!

- Let's go. - I'm open.

Yeah, keep playing, keep playing.

- Check out, Tommy. - I got, I got it.

- 'Switch, switch, switch.' - Whoo!

The flies are out today.

- There we go! That's it! - Oh, no!

That's it, girl!

- I let you-- - That was you, man.

- No, it wasn't me. - That was you.

Okay, you left the man open--

- Come on, girl! - Let's go, let's go!

- 'Okay, yes!' - Yay!

- Time out, man! Time out! - Ah, Martin, Martin!

Martin, Martin, Martin, for my first meal I'd like

a rack of lamb, and please don't forget the horse radish.

- Don't forget the horse radish. - Why you're telling me, Gina?

You can get the radish from the horse you're standing next to.

Alright, this ain't no boxing match!

- Come on now. - Gina..

Alright, come, look, man. Now, check this out, man.

Alright, we can win if y'all stop playing like girls, man.

I wish we could play like girls.

- They killing us. - Hey, hey.

Martin, I'm thirsty, man. I need some soda.

Tommy man, we ain't got no soda.

That's cool, I got some at home. I'll see y'all later.

- No, Tommy, look. - What?

The game ain't over yet Moses Madame.

Ooh. Ooh. I love you.

Oh, you do?

Then tell me what's the next play gonna be

short, thick and handsome.

Ma-Martin's gonna, um, shoot the jump-off.

Tommy's pick.

You didn't have to yell at him like that.

- Whoo! Whoo! - You alright, dawg?

- Ah. - Whoa, whoa.

Alright, alright. Martin, you okay?

- What happened? - 'Sounds good.'

Tommy, it was almost like she knew the play, man.

Boy, hot damn, look at that, bwah!

She made me tell her, Martin. I mean, she was rubbin'.

And like this here, you know?

- Cole, you a sell-out, man. - Now.

Sit your ass down. You a sellout.

- Stupid. - 'You in, man.'

- Love that. Let's go. - 'Alright, play ball, baby.'

Come on, big daddy, give me the ball.

I ain't got no ball.

What's that under your shirt, baby?

Oh, come on, Nip!

- Oh! - Alright!

Time out! Time out!

What was that, man?

You come in, you pass the ball, Nip!

- This ain't hot wings. - Sorry. Sorry.

Nipsey, you're out, Air Gordon, you're in. Let's go, man.

Uh, Air Gordon, you're out.

Out, out. C-Cole, get back in.

- Shoot it! - Let's go, let's go.

- Right there. - Got it, got it, got it.

Play one, play one! Oh! Oh!

- Foul! Ah! Argh! - Foul?

- Martin. - Martin, get up!

- What are you talking about? - Why?

She was five feet away from you!

Foul! Ouch!

- Ah! - You really need to stop!

- You really need to-- - Respect my call.

- Respect my call. - I didn't touch him.

Hey, hey, ref, you saw it, didn't you?

- Didn't you see that? - Man, I ain't seen nothing.

Then maybe you need thicker glasses, man.

Look, Martin, you need to stop whining and play some ball.

Right. Really.

- Time out. I said time out. - What are you saying, man?

Time out. Hey, we ain't going out like that, right, y'all?

Just-just follow my lead.

Ah! My knees!

My knee!

- Follow my lead. I'm hurting. - Oh, my shoulder.

- Ah, my knees. - My shou.. Oh, my shoulder.

Cancel the game. Cancel the game. I'm hurt.

I'm not hurt. What the hell.. What y'all talking about?

- What are you.. - Ow! Ow!

Okay! Stop! Ow!

Martin, we won!

We win!

- Ooh.. Ah? - Martin..

You can stop faking now, nobody's watching.

Cool. Girl, I'm feeling a little better now, Gina.

Whatever, Martin. All I know is it's time to pay up.

And to start, I'd like a nice cool glass of orange juice

with a little ice in it, alright?

A couple of little rocks in there

'cause the winner's thirsty!

- 'Gina.' - Get up!

Gina, please, alright?

I don't recognize no winners up in here.

- Ah-ah-ah.. - Say what? No, no, no.

Just-just get over it, Martin. You lost. You lost.

No, Gina. Gina, okay, the game was till 50.

Alright, y'all only scored 48 points.

Technically, there was no winners, baby.

Oh, so I could just call the girls, but--

- No, no, no, no, baby. - Wha-what?

- W-what? - Besides I got it in my shoul--

I thought, I thought it was your knee.

It is the knee, baby, it's the spreadin' is..

Ah! Ah! It's-it's a spreadin' pain.

- Ah! Gina, now I got cramps. - Whatever, Martin.

- Please. - Martin.

- Cole, come up. Come, come. - Here, here, right there.

- Oh! Ow! - Now what, Tommy? Tommy!

- Stop it. Would you stop? - Okay.

Damn, Tommy!

- 'Yay!' - 'Yeah.'