Original subtitles

Hey, baby, why you looking out the window?

Baby, shh.

Waiting on my satellite dish to get here, nosy.

Well, what do you need with a satellite dish, Martin?

Gina, I've got to see Mike Tyson

whoop some ass on Friday night.

That's right. And with the dish

we get to see it free, baby.

"We?" Martin, I don't even like boxing that much.

Gina, don't worry, I ain't forgot you.

'Cause that's why I bought the Ecstasy channel.

Yeah. Yeah, they say it's educational.

"Educational?"

Remember that..

That move I put on you last night?

That! Remember that?

I caught you and spinned you, you know?

- Oh, yeah the ride. - Ride. Yeah, right, right.

I remember that.

I learned that on the Ecstasy channel.

You're so crazy.

- And check this out. - What?

It's only gonna set a brother back $75.

- Whoa. That's a good price. - Yeah.

How'd you get such a good deal?

Gina, your man has connections, baby.

Don't question it.

- What's up, Gina. - Hey.

Satellite dish you was asking me about.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Martin.

Nah, no, Cole is not your connection.

Baby, his brain isn't even connected

to the rest of his body.

See? Look, look at him. Look at him, you know.

But you're saying that right in front of the man

of course, he's gonna have an out-of-body experience.

- Cole? Come on. - What?

- Think he talkin' to.. - Come on. I'm sorry.

Don't be so hard on Cole, Gina.

I mean, he knew what I wanted, and the man came through.

- That's all. - That's right, Gina.

You know..

Alright, alright, alright

I'll let you guys handle your mess.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Yo, Hustle Man was havin' a going-outta-business sale.

- Where's Hustle Man goin'? - Shorty, I don't know.

But he was in the back of a police car.

Oh, damn!

Give me my satellite dish.

You ain't finished hooking that box up, yet?

Sliding the family, Dome.

Martin, these are not the instructions

for the satellite dish, man.

They instructions for the dishwasher.

I thought you knew some of that, man.

You want somethin' done, you gotta do it yourself.

- Excuse me, baby. Excuse me. - Alright.

Alright, Martin

I've hooked the satellite dish up on the roof.

That's good. Now did you bolt it down?

Shoot!

Psych!

What y'all think, I am stupid?

Nah.. Yeah.

Martin, plug this into it, alright?

- Yeah. - Alright.

Oh, excuse me, baby.

I need that. Excuse me, baby.

Do you have to sit right there, Gina?

Baby, no offence

but your head ain't the easiest thing

to get around.

Alright, alright, Martin.

I just need to finish putting the final touches

on my Kalvin Kani underwear presentation.

What? Yo, girl, I love them drawers.

Really? Cole, you wear Kalvin Kanis?

Yeah, I think I got a pair on right now.

Oh, damn.

Moms must have the last clean pair on.

Don't worry, Cole, 'cause when I get this account

I will be able to get you and your mother a pair free.

- Girl, can you remember.. - Yes, I can.

- The black with the.. - Gina.

Baby, excuse me.

- We're tryin' to work here. - Alright, Martin.

I'm just tryin' to talk to Cole about his Kalvin Kanis.

Well, can I...lift up the box?

Alright, just so testy with a box and mess.

Okay, alright, guys, look here. I think the box is ready.

All we have to do now is plug it in.

- Ooh, I can do that! - I can do that. I got it.

- Cole.. Watch, cord, you just.. - Careful, man.

Alright. Alright, alright, alright.

Where's it? Where's.. Y'all got too many plugs in this one.

- I might have to take one out. - No, not that one!

Cole! You just unplugged my computer

and erased my entire presentation!

Oh, man.

Lemme see what's happened here.

Gina..

...there's no presentation on the screen.

It's blank.

Your brain is blank!

Cole! It took me three weeks to..

- You know, I will kill him! - Get out. Move out.

- I will kill him. - Get out.

Gina. Baby.

- Gina! Gina! - I will kill him, Martin.

Baby!

Now, you calm down.

Now, don't hurt him till after he hooks up the box, baby.

Then you can have your ass-whooping party.

Just forget it, Martin.

That's it, I'm going to Pam's.

And, boy, you better pray

you better pray she got it on her back-up disk.

You better pray, Cole!

- I'll get the door for you. - Get out of my way!

Yes, ma'am.

God, please let her have it on the back-up disk.

God, please let her have it on the back-up disk.

You diss about a bitch!

Yeah, I know. It's gonna take Gina all night

to get that presentation back together.

Oh, man, I'm talkin' about the satellite dish.

It still ain't workin', man.

Pam, I wanted to say thank you for helping me last night.

I'm glad you had that back-up disk, girl.

And I'm sorry I had to break-up that date.

Oh, that's alright, Gina.

Morning, ladies.

Hi.

Kalvin

I'd like to introduce you to Miss Gina Payne.

She's my shining star.

And, oh

that's Pamela James.

Yeah, see, I-I..

I likes this.

Two young sisters doing your thing.

And I bet y'all can give me the flavor that I'm lookin' for.

So, whatcha got?

Well, Mr. Kani

our goal is to expand your market

beyond its core consumers.

Let me direct your attention to the graph.

Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do we gotta do the graph thing?

Bell-bottoms, why don't you break it down for a brother?

O-okay, well, it's like this, Kalvin..

Oh, you don't mind if I call you Kalvin, do you?

Oh, not at all.

Oh, okay. See, what Gina was trying to say

is that we plan on putting

every available onion in a pair of Kalvin Kanis.

- And that's all the brief. - Now, I'm with that.

Really? Okay, okay, well, tell me what you think

about this slogan.

"A booty damn sure looks fly

in a pair of Kalvin Kanis."

- No, that's not.. - Now, that's a slogan.

That's okay. That's okay.

No, but the slogan that I came up with

the one that I did was "Gentlemen prefer Kalvin Kanis

gentlemen do."

That's, I like..

That sounds kinda..

Help me, Pam.

Corny.

- Yeah, it's wack. - Yeah, wack.

It's wack.

What else you got for me, bell-bottoms?

Well, see, baby, you should be making

your drawers for everybody. You know what I'm sayin'?

For the overweight lover, chunky trunks.

For the hip-hop brother

funky trunks.

And for the brother blessed with a little bit

of somethin' extra

donkey trunks.

Oh, snap!

A commercial with everyday brothers

looking fly in a Kalvin Kani's.

Exactly.

Yo, Whitaker

I want her incharge of my account.

You read my mind, Kalvin.

Excuse me, Mr. Whitaker

well, uh..

wasn't I your shining star?

- What about me? - Oh, what about you?

Oh, you gonna be assisting Pam.

Yo, yo, Kalvin, man.

Oh, snap!

I'm incharge!

I'm incharge!

Tommy, there ain't nothing but snow, man.

Okay, okay, okay.

So, what do you suggest we do about the dish?

Somebody gonna have to get up on the roof and turn it.

Obviously, it's in the wrong direction.

Somebody gotta get up on the roof and turn it.

Yeah, yeah, somebody gotta..

Man, please, don't even look at me

I went up there last time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

you're probably right, Cole.

Wouldn't be fair to ask you.

- No, wouldn't be fair. - Yeah.

Ge-get on up that roof and turn it.

No, no, no, no, no, bro your hands ain't broke.

Why don't you get up there and turn it?

Because I'm the owner of the dish Head-win Moses.

Besides...I'm afraid of heights.

- You afraid of who? - I said, I'm afraid of heights.

He afraid of heights!

That's why he stopped growin'.

Oh, what, so y'all wanna make jokes, huh?

Well, ain't nobody gonna see the fight then, huh?

I ca-ca, caca on that.

- Well, fine. - Fine. Good. No problem.

- Fine. - Damn, Cole.

Boy, get up there. I wanna see the fight, man!

I wanna see. Come on, bruh.

- Alright. - Can you hurry up?

'Watch yourself goin' up this thing.'

- You up there yet, man? - 'Yeah, I'm up here.'

Alright.

Okay. Now, take your time.

Start turnin' the dish, Cole.

'Can you see anything?'

- Just a little.. - Fine. Turn a little more.

- Turn a little more. - 'Man, it won't go no more.'

Oh, man.

- Push harder, man. - Push, Cole!

Just push, man, hard.

Your turn.

Hey, Gina-Weena.

Hey.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

You're not still trippin' about what happened earlier are you?

Pam, why should I be tripping

just because you stole my account.

Oh, now, come on, Gina.

We're a team.

Ain't nothin' gonna change between us

just because I'm incharge.

Pam, I am so glad you said that.

Because, for a minute there, I thought that you were..

I don't even wanna say it

power trippin' or somethin'.

Gina, come on, now, you're my girl. We dawgs.

Now, be a sweetie and get me some coffee.

Excuse me?

Coffee. Behind you, I'm a little thirsty.

Oh, yeah, I am kinda close to it.

Yeah.

You know what, Gina, I wanna hear all your thoughts

on our print campaign.

Oh, yes, well, I have some really great ideas.

- I thought that we could.. - No, that ain't gonna work.

That ain't gonna work.

See, we need to see big

good-looking, buff brothers on billboards

wearing nothing but Kalvin Kanis.

Excuse me. Did you happen to notice

that I was in the middle of a sentence, Pam?

Pam!

Oh, I'm sorry. Were you saying somethin'?

Obviously not.

Ooh, Gina, I have got the best idea.

Be a lamb and run down and get some flowers for Kalvin.

Flowers? Pam, come on, forget the flowers.

We have to go over these numbers.

They might wanna know how much

this campaign is gonna cost them.

Gina, numbers don't matter. Okay?

Image is everything.

Damn, that sounded good.

You know what, I need to make that a slogan.

Write that down, will you?

Is there anything else I can do for you, Pam?

Hey, Pam. Kalvin just called.

He wants to meet again tomorrow morning at00.

If everything goes well, we've got the account.

- Yes. - Don't you worry, Mr. Whitaker.

We will be ready.

Oh, Gina, um..

We won't exactly be needin' you tomorrow

at the meetin'. I think Ms. James

can handle this one all by herself.

- I got it. - Get it, baby.

See, this is what I'm talkin' about.

We're finally seeing something clear.

- You know what I mean? - Yup.

Cole, turn it up.

Cole, what the hell is this, man?

Not one channel in English?

What is this, "The Fresh Prince of Beirut?"

You know what, man, we would've been better off

using up the satellite dishes on the side of your head.

Gimme the remote, Cole.

Hey. Hey, don't.. Hey, don't blame me, partner.

Cole is the one who had us waiting

in the emergency room for two hours.

I fell through the roof of my car, man.

What you complainin' about?

Now, you got the convertible you always wanted.

True. True.

Hypertense, man, 'cause there ain't be a subtitle

and that won't give you enough time..

She ain't gonna..

Stop it, man.

Hello!

- Hey, hey, Gina. - Hey, Gina, what's up, baby?

When did you get in, hon?

Martin, can I talk to you for a second, please?

Yeah, sure, go ahead. Talk, babe.

Over here!

'Over here.'

Alright.

Martin?

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, baby.

Martin, you will not believe

what happened to me at work today.

Pam threw me under the bus.

Alright.

Alright.

Tommy, what's on the screen?

Oh, I don't know. It's not quite clear.

It looked like "I Dream of Buddha."

Martin, would you please listen to me?

Gina, baby, I'm listenin'.

Thank you!

Martin, Pam stole

my Kalvin Kani underwear account.

And now, my boss won't even let me attend the meeting.

I really gotta attend that meeting, Martin.

I wanna attend that meeting

because I have to show him that I know this campaign

better than anybody else.

Alright.

You-you-you sure do, baby. You sure do.

Look, don't let Scooby dog you.

If it was me, I would fight Pam man-to-man.

- Man-to-man? - Yeah, we put it..

Oh, Martin, you're a genius.

- What? - Baby..

- What? - You are a genius!

What up, dawg?

What's up, man?

Yeah..

Oh, my bad. My bad.

You must be a swirl baby.

No, just Creole

got a little Indian in my family, you know.

So, are you one of Whitaker's boys?

Yeah. Yeah, man, I am. Yeah.

Well, I'm Kalvin.

This here is my accountant, Poindexter.

- What's up, Poindexter? - Hey, how are you doing?

You.. Did you see that Lions game last night?

That Sanders, man. He's somethin' else, huh?

Oh, Sanders..

Colonel Sanders. Yeah, man, you know, but he..

He put up some chicken, man.

But, you know I like Original myself.

- You know, they'll be goin'.. - Yo..

- Distributing nuggets. - That's funny.

That's funny.

Hey, y-you want a cigar?

I'm sorry, brother, I didn't get your name.

Gi-na.. Gene Natay.

- Last name Natay. - Right, right, okay.

Yeah, you.. Look.

Ain't nothin' like a smooth filling.

- You know.. - Well, alright.

Let's spark one..

- Spark one? - ...before the meeting starts.

Just spark.. Spark one.

Yeah.

- Alright. - Mm-hm.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I see..

I see you like the malt ones.

Hey, good morning, Kalvin.

I see you got your whole crew with ya.

Right, we might as well get right down to this.

- Pam. - Good morning, everybody.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Damn!

Look at the swing on that back porch.

Man, she a hottie.

You know, if you like a big ol' back porch

with dimples.

It's just nasty, man.

Okay, fellas.

Sit back and check out the biggest ad campaign

of the year.

'Cause quite frankly, gentlemen

Kalvin Kani underwear is about to blow up!

Okay, Terry, let's start the presentation.

Okay, for the kids.

We've got Baby Kani.

'Come on, bonbon.'

'Show 'em what you've got. Alright.'

'There you go, baby. Give him a hand.'

'Alright.'

Okay, and for the man who never met a cheeseburger

he didn't like.

Big boy Kani! Come on, Nev!

Alright, Nev, show your stuff.

You got it, Nev.

Alright..

Thank you, Nev.

Thank you, Nev.

Hey, y'all can chill. Y'all can chill.

I've seen enough.

I love it.

I thought you would.

So all you got to do is run your numbers

by my money man here

and we'll be in business.

Well, I'm sure that Ms. James has everything under control.

Pam.

What are your projections for the cost in this campaign?

Projections? Um..

I project that it won't cost that much.

Well, could you be a little more specific? Just a little.

Well, you see, if-i-if you have enough money, yo-you can..

Whitaker. Whitaker, if she doesn't have any numbers

we're gonna have to find another agency.

Oh, no, man. Shut up, man.

- Yeah, shut up. - I mean, shut up.

I mean, I'll handle it. You old indignant.

I got the numbers for you right here.

- Right here, man. - Alright.

Wait a minute. You do?

Yes, I do.

What the..

Girl, is that..

Gina..

Gene Natay.

Who is he?

She's my.. I mean, uh, uh..

He's my..

I brought him over from the research department.

- Research department. - That's what I did.

Yeah, that is right. That's right. You did. Yeah.

Look, if you look right there at the bottom line

you see how cost-effective

that this campaign really is, boy.

Yeah.

I've been wanting some of you, Urkel.

- Alright, Gi. - Oh, now, I'm Urkel huh?

Well, I'll be the judge of that, buddy.

Alright, buddy.

- Buddy, you did it. - Yo, you owe me.

- You owe me. - I know I owe you. Right.

Well, I ain't manning nobody. Except you.

But the.. these numbers, they're on point.

- They're on tip. - They are.

- See, they are on point. - They're good.

Alright, Whitaker.

- We got a deal. - Alright.

Well, thanks, Kalvin. You know, we won't let you down.

You guys are very lucky to have that brother on your squad.

- Oh, very lucky. - Thank you, partner.

Very lucky. Good brother here.

Good brother.

Excellent work, young man.

Oh, God, Gina!

- What? Yes, I did. - You saved my life.

You know what, I'm gonna make sure

that Mr. Whitaker knows that it was you

that came through with those numbers, girl.

Well, Pam, I couldn't leave you hanging.

But you did kick me to the curb, Pam.

I'm sorry, Gi.

You know, it's just that when Kalvin liked my idea

it kinda went to my head.

Yeah.

It did. It did.

- But you're the man, girl. - I'm the man.

- You are the man. - Do not mock the suit.

You workin' that suit.

Well, I'm glad to see that baldy mowing wack

finally got the dish fixed in time for the fight.

Even you can't bother me, Muhammad Ugly.

Martin.

We about to see the fight of the decade, girl.

- Oh, here we go. Here we go. - Alright, y'all.

'First team out of their corners.'

'Tyson throws a left.'

'It's over. Tyson knocked him out.'

Oh, no, no, man.

Three days of work for a ten-second fight?

- Hey, come on. Come on. - He sure did.

This about bitchin', man.

- Look at this. - I just blinked, and he..

- It's.. Oh, wait, wait. - Hey, hey, hey!

Martin, why did you do that?

I lost my temper.

Well, I'm gonna lose my temper

if Cole don't take his hand off my thigh!

Well, whoop his ass, 'cause I'mma see a fight

up in here tonight.

I'm on it. Give me a fight!

Hey, baby, what are you looking out the window for?

I'm waiting for my satellite to get here.

Hey, baby, what are you looking out this window for?

Karen, how would you react to it, man?

Baby, I'm just waiting on my satellite dish to get here.

- He did! He really did! - I'm tryin'! I'mma get it out.