Original subtitles

- Bills...bills. - Oh, no..

I got another damn bill.

Gina, why does this bill have a picture of a naked lady on?

Baby, it's not a bill. I think it's a invitation.

Oh, baby, it's from Michael Angelo Jones.

This guy I went to college with. He is a painter.

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.

Well, maybe, uh, you can get him to give us

a estimate on painting the bedroom.

You know what I mean?

You know, brother be right here on the wall.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Martin.

He's not that kind of painter. He's an artist.

In fact, they have an exhibit of his work done

at the "Round The Way Art Gallery."

I ain't impressed.

Now, if he can paint this face..

...and make her look human..

...then I gotta give the brother props!

Yo, what up, mate!

What up, mate?

Why don't you prop yourself up on a milk crate?

Now, get out of my way, please.

Oh, is it like that!

Gina, I got a toothache.

Oh! Well, that's interesting.

'Cause ever since you walked in here..

...I got a eye ache.

Whazzup? Whazzup? Whazzup?

Yeah, Michael, we'll be glad to come to the opening.

Aha, she'll be there, too.

Pam is just going to enjoy meeting you, okay, bye, bye.

No way, Gina.

You know, I can't go on a blind date.

Those things never work out for me.

Pam, stop it. He is a good brother.

And he has a nice personality.

- Aw...a nice personality? - 'Yeah.'

That means, he is ugly.

Forget it, I'm not going.

Pam, he's not ugly. He's cute.

And he needs a date for his art gallery opening, here.

Oh, how come he just don't invite

the hoochie that's on the invite?

Because I told him I had a better hoochie for him, you.

- I ain't no hoo-hooo...ou.. - See, shouldn't get mad at me.

Hey. Hey, hey..

Pam?

What's all that damn howling about?

Ain't no full moon out, woman?

Martin, stop it. Her tooth is still bothering her.

Oh! What the tooth's still bothering you?

Alright-alright, well, cool, look.

Let me put on CD alright.

Because they say, uh, "Music calms the savage beast."

Oh, Martin, I-I-I will-I will crush you out

with a bad tooth, you know that, don't you.

Look, don't go on spoiling your mouth like that.

Don't even do that to yourself.

If your tooth is rotten you gonna spoil your mouth.

Now, hold on.

- Yeah, dawg. - What's up, dawg?

What's up? What y'all about to get into?

Uh, your apartment, definitely, the fridge in there

and then, all up in your business, yeah.

You want to be in people business..

Hey, Pam, how you doing, swee..

Oh, no-no-no, Tommy.

Well, excuse me. It's like that, uh?

No-no, I just have a toothache and my jaw hurts like hell.

- Oh! - Hey, Pam.

D-does your face hurt, too?

Because, it's killing-g me.

Enough of that.

You know what, Pam, that might be your wisdom teeth.

Ooh. Yo, I had a wisdom tooth pulled once.

Well, they might have taken out the "Wis"

but they're damn sure, left the "Dumb."

- You get it? - I get it.

Wis-dumb.

- Oh.. - Pam.

You better hurry up and get yourself together

Michael Angelo will be here any moment.

No, you didn't. No, you didn't, Gina!

I told you, I don't go on blind dates.

Pam, you're always talking about how a good man is hard to find

and it's not like you're getting any young, girl.

- Did I say that? - I'll leave it alone.

- Okay. - Gina..

Well, you know before I, before I go on a date

with a guy, I-I-I got to put on makeup

I got to rotate my wee pieces.

Pam, would you stop it.

He's not going to trip. He is an artist.

He is more interested in your inner beauty, anyway.

- That's him, girl. - What am I going to do?

- You better... - What do I do?

Act like you're chilling. Act like you're chilling.

Would you act like you're chilling?

There you go.

- Michael Angelo! - Hey, Gina.

- How are you? - It is so good to see you.

You too, you look good.

Pam, this is Michael Angelo

the artist, I was telling you about.

So, you're Michael Angelo?

Nice to meet you, Pam.

Gina said you were attractive, but that was an understatement.

Yeah, Gina also said you were

an artist, but...damn!

You're a masterpiece.

Now, that I've met you

I'm sorry your toothache will keep you

from coming to my opening.

Unh-unh! I mean, no-no..

My tooth will be fine, you know what, in fact

I'm gonna go to the dentist and get it worked on.

You know why? 'Cause I'm gonna see you at the opening.

Oh, trust me, Michael Angelo

I'm gonna see you at that opening.

Pam! Would you stop it?

Alright, alright, Cole

I'm telling you, this dentist better be painless.

You know what, it really doesn't matter, Pam

'cause he is the only dentist around town

who will take you at the last minute.

C'mon, Pam, don't worry about that. Alright? He the bomb!

I've been coming here for years.

Plus, he's got the best toys.

Hello, Gina.

Cole, did you bring Pam to a kid dentist?

No, Gina, alright.

Duh? He's not a kid.

He's an adult that takes care of kids.

Why did I listen to him! I'm out of here.

Pam! Hey-hey! You know what? You don't have a choice!

'Cause you're gonna have to see this dentist.

Don't you want to see Michael Angelo tonight?

- Michael Angelo, he said.. - Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah.

- Michael Angelo. Ha-ha-ha! - Shut up!

So, just sit down. There are no more seats around.

Just have a seat.

Ooh! Y'all! Look..

- Oh, my God. - Told you!

Oh, I used to have this toy.

I used to play with this all the time.

Yeah! You.. These used to be the bombs back in the day.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I know that sound. Gimme that-gimme that.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, let me think.

No. Oh, ye.. No.

P-pass. It's all you, Pam.

Gimme that. That's a cow, jackass.

Well, make up your mind. Is it a cow or a jackass..

'cause I'm helping you out. Right, mouth?

Hey, you're too big to be playing with that.

Give it to me.

- She's a kid. - She-she talking to me?

She's a kid.

Alright, it's a kid.

I'll give it to you as soon as I'm done with it, okay, honey?

Mommy, the lady with the fake hair

won't give me the BuleJar!

- Did she say I have fake hair? - Pam, that's..

I ain't scared to fight no kid..

- Pam! - I hope she not scared..

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hey. Hey. Hey

Hi. Hi.

I'm Dr. Friendly.

Are you little Pamela James.

- No, man. That's me. - It's this one.

Now, c'mon let's get on with this.

My-my-my-my, Bill did do a mighty good

didn't it, little lady?

I'm a grown woman.

Great then..

What I'm thinking isn't illegal.

Man, just cut the yada-yada

and fix my tooth, okay? I got a date tonight.

Whatever you say. Just follow, Dr. Friendly.

Yeah. You just make sure you ain't too friendly

or you going to be needing a dentist.

Don't let me catch you on the street.

Now, c'mon, Pam, I can't help you unless I can see your teeth.

Unh-unh!

C'mon, help the doctor out.

Just give Dr. Friendly a little smile..

I can't help it, I'm scared.

Well..

I see we're going to have to use a little

different approach with you, huh?

You do that.

- Hypnosis! - Hypnosis, man?

Please, what you think this is? Psychic Friends Network, man?

I don't believe in stuff like this.

My mother told me that-that hypnosis is not the..

- Follow the watch. - Okay.

You're getting sleepy.

Very sleepy.

That's right, Pam, sleepy.

Sleepy..

In a moment, you'll have no fear of the dentist

and you will feel no pain.

Feel no pain.

That's right.

Now, when I clap my hands you'll be totally under.

Damn, I'm good.

- Hey. Is she ready yet? - Hey. Yep, I'm all done.

I'm just about to wake her up.

What a.. Damn! What did you do?

Shoot her with a tranquilizer gun?

No, I had to put her under hypnosis

so, she wouldn't be afraid.

See, I told her, there was nothing to fear.

Yeah.

Subal reflection.

See, I ain't afraid of jack.

You know, you need to be more like, Martin.

"Be like Martin. Be like Martin."

Okay, Pam, now when I clap my hands

you'll be relaxed, refreshed and wide awake.

Whazzup?

Whazzup?

- Hey, Pam.. Pam.. Pam? - Whazzup?

- Whazzup? - Pam?

- I just... - Whazzup?

Pam, stop playing around, okay?

We gotta go. Let's get out of here.

- Let's go, right. - Alright, let's go.

- C'mon, Pam. - Pam.

Oh, man. Thanks, Dr. Friendly.

I don't know what you did, but it sure feels better.

]

Doc, uh-huh.. Phew. Uh.. Well, thank you, man.

- You're welcome. - You did a good job.

- Thank you. - Well, uh..

You could have do something about her breath, man.

You really could have did something about her breath.

Oh, this is nice.

Welcome to my exhibit.

- Hey, how you doing, Michael? - Hey.

We're glad to be here. We're so proud of you.

Yeah, yeah, man.

We big fans of-of-of your artwork, you know.

You know-you know the, um, the-the-the paint

with the dogs playing Polka?

- That's the bomb, man. - No-no, baby.

I want to tell you, it sounds more..

- It's alright, it's alright. - Shut him up.

Pam. Michael, you remember Pam, right?

Of course, who could forget such beauty.

How's your tooth?

Oh, much better. Thank you.

Ooh! Baby, maybe we should go.

I'm sure, Michael wants to show Pam some of his work.

Alright, well, cool. Well, show me the buffet.

- 'Cause brother hungry than a.. - I know.

You want some champagne?

Oh, I would love some, thank you.

Sash, two glasses of champagne, please.

Whazzup? Whazzup?

Whazzup?

Uh, what's up with you?

Nothin'. Just chilling.

Laying here in the cut.

I-I like the cut of that dress.

It's-it's very stunning. Oh, this?

Ah, just a little somethin' somethin' I put together.

You know I had to!

I'm a bad girl.

On the other hand, maybe, you don't need any champagne.

Sash, never mind.

Are you alright?

I'm fine. So, tell me Michael Angelo

where did you learn how to paint?

Well, I studied at the School of The Art Institute

in Chicago, then, I spent some time in Paris.

Michael? Michael? One of your paintings just sold for $5000.

Congratulations!

$5000?

$5000?

Whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa!

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

Yo, Michael Angelo! Youse about to blow up!

You know, I never really thought of it like that.

Yo, Gina. Michael Angelo is about to get broke up.

He gonna be stomping with the big dawg.

Hey, Pam. Pam, are you alright?

You know, I don't know how to say this

but you're starting to remind me of Martin.

- What? Did I shrink? - Very funny.

I'm gonna go find Martin, okay.

You better do that 'cause there is a lot of people

walkin' around and somebody might step on him.

- Pam? Pam? Pam? - Hi.

Let me show you one of my favorite pieces.

Oh. Ooh, it's nice. What is it?

This one reminds me of you.

I call this on, "Tig Ol' Bitties."

Oh, Mike..

Look man, there's this lady in the back

with this ugly dress, but she wants to

buy one of your paintings, man.

Handle your business, Picasso.

Damn, yeah.

Whazzup?

Whazzup?

Where is Gina?

What's wrong, partner?

You can't keep your woman in check?

At least, I got somebody to check.

Alright, alright, alright, alright.

- You got me. You got me. - Yeah, yeah.

I know I did.

I know you did.

- Alright. - Alright, you know..

What's this supposed to be?

Well, I don't know.

But it's straight up..

But keep down on the DL.

You-you know what I'm saying, Marty boy?

That's right, keep it on the hush-hush.

- Hush. - Right.

- Hush. Sh. Right. - Hush. Sh-sh.

- Right. We here? We here? - Yeah.

- You know what? - What?

I don't know how the hell we got here.

We never been here before.

Chew dat. Chew dat. Chew dat.

All I know, youse a wild boy.

Oh-ho!

Yo, c'mon man, let's roll.

You know, a sister hungry than a..

Uh!

So, whazzup? You wanna go play some pool?

Hell yeah!

Let's be up outta here.

Martin, baby.

I've been looking all over for you.

- What? - Damn, Gina!

You ain't gotta be sweating the brother know all of that.

- You're.. - All up in here.

- On the real, on the real? - You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, baby, why you had to play me so tight, baby?

- So tight. So tight. - Yeah. Yeah..

We, we about to go down to Nipsey and play some pool.

Yeah-yeah, I'm about to open up a can of whup-ass on you, boy.

Oh, no, it ain't like that, you'd only try.

- You ain't gonna open up.. - Hell!

So, you mean to tell me that

you two, uh, actually, you want to hang out together?

Who? Me and Sydney Shortiac? Hell, no.

Oh. Oh, that's..

You were just saying that we were..

- We were cool, like-- - Okay, Martin.

- Pam? - What?

Ever since you came from the dentist

it seems like you have a split personality or something.

Baby. Baby?

She does have a split personality.

She's half woman and half horse.

Buck 'em..

I said, buck 'em..

Shut up.

No! That's not it.

It's something else, baby.

And I think I know what it is.

Whazzup?

Yo, yo, y'all ready to roll? Sister hungrier than a..

Martin, she's still hypnotized. Baby, she is you.

Whoa-whoa-whoa! Can't no be anybody be me but me, Gina.

So-so-so what you sayin'..

Pa-Pam stealing my steelo?

I'm stealing your steelo.

- Oh, damn! - Damn!

- Oh. - Oh..

- Oh. Oh, my God! - Oh. Oh, my God!

- You livin' fun, man. - You livin' fun, man.

Pam! Pam! Pam! Pam?

Pam, I'm going to have to ask you to keep it down.

Uh, you don't know me like that, partner, to be shushing me.

You know what I mean?

Not unless you ready to get a beat down.

Gina, I don't know what you were thinking

trying to set me up with someone like her.

No, see, you don't understand, she just came from the dentist.

I don't need to understand.

I thought you and your friends had class.

Maybe, you should be leaving.

- No, no, no, baby, slide. - Baby..

Whoa-whoa-whoa, baby, trust me on this.

Now, partner, Michael Picasso, whoever the hell you are..

I know you not talking to my wife like that!

No, that's-that's-that's alright, Marty-Mar.

- What? - Just slide.

- What? - Just slide.

I'm gonna talk to Picasso..

Yo, uh, partner, uh..

I know you think you the bomb and all that

you know, with the art exhibit and everything

but, uh...you can let the door knob hit you

where the dog should've bit you! Now step!

You can't throw me out of my own exhibit?

- Somebody done told him wrong. - Somebody done told him wrong.

- Get the step it! - Step!

- I got one here! - Get up!

Like you still looking at the painting!

And out the damn exhibit!

All up in the place.

- Yo, man, we run this. - With Gina up in here.

You know what I mean? Only taking her through that?

You know what I mean, ain't nobody-nobody.

- You Pam, I Martin.. - You know, what I'm saying.

- And you Gina. - It's all that.

- You know, it's all love. - It's all love.

- One love. - One love. One love.

Now, Pam, when you wake up, you'll be relaxed, refreshed

and you won't remember anything that happened to you yesterday.

And you won't sue your dentist for malpractice.

Now, Pam, wake up.

- Pam, how do you feel? - Hey, sweetie, you alright?

- Hey-hey? - Damn, why y'all on me?

I'm fine.

Yeah, but you still look bad.

And you still look short.

Thank God. Everything is back to normal.

Okay, okay, wait, wait-wait-wait-wait.

I think we need to check to make sure

it worked this time, right?

See, nothing happened.

Whazzup? Whazzup? Whazzup?

Yeah-yeah, that's right. This is my house.

And, uh, get the step! Get the step out.

Now, Cole is hypnotized.

See, what you done started, Angelo Basset Hound.

Shut up.

Cole, sit down there. Sit down.

- Hey, get off. - Get in and sit.

Alright, no language, no cussing with it now..

Alright, do it, uh, clean? Okay.

I'mma do it clean this time, audience

and it's gonna be nothing, but acting.

Roll 'em.

And it matches and the two lines they go together.

So, all you have to do is say eye-ache.

- You say toothache-- - No, but if I say--

- Eye-ache. - You just say..

- You say eye-ache. - It's written--

That's why I said toothache.

- Eye-ache, toothache-- - My tooth hurts.