Original subtitles

Okay, Pam, let's try this scene one more time.

Okay.

"Beshrew your heart for sending me about

to catch my death with jaunting up and down!"

"Oh, sweet nurse

tell me what my love says about our marriage."

"It says, um, your.."

Your husband's short.

Aye..

And, so is your real hair, Pam.

- Shut up, shut up. - All this.

Okay, where is it at? Where did the pieces go?

- Hi, baby.. - Wassup?

Me and Pam were just goin' over

this play we're gettin' ready to do.

Why y'all ain't speaking in English, Gina?

We were speaking in English, baby.

It-it's Romeo and Juliet.

Shakespeare, you know, Shakespeare.

Shakespeare. Let me see that.

"Ha, who goes there?"

Gina, brothers don't be talkin' like that.

Brothers be like, "Who that?"

Babe.

What y'all doin' this play for, anyway?

Oh, baby, we're doin' this benefit

for the children's hospital.

- Oh, benefit? - Hmm.

Yeah, oh, baby, and guess.. Guess who's playing Juliet?

Wait a minute, oh..

Don't-don't-don't, don't tell, don't tell me.

- My baby Gina? - Yeah!

- You got the lead role? - Yes, I did!

- I'm-I'm proud of you, girl. - Thank you. Thank you.

And, uh..

who are you playin' Pam?

Romeo's horse?

I like to play Mike Tyson and

knock your teeth out!

- Now, you might-- - Dare me.

You might wanna use your right claw.

- Okay, okay, wait. - You better get away from me.

- Aye aye. - You might wanna claw.

- You come in, talking to me-- - Claw and learn.

She's rehearsing, Martin.

- Well, I rehearse out a claw. - Pam is, marking down.

Pam is playing my nurse, baby. Now, stop.

Oh, baby, and guess who's, who's playing Romeo?

- Who? - James Earl Jackson.

No, Gina, you mean, James Earl Jones.

No, James Earl Jackson. He-he-he's famous.

Famous in the black theater circuit.

Hmm, nah, I ain't never heard of him.

What he done, done?

Um, Pam, what-what, what has he done?

Oh, what did he do? He did uh..

He did Lord Mama's tired..

And he also did, uh

uh, Mama, the Lord's tired too.

- That was a good play. - That was good. I saw that.

Okay, yeah, well, enough, enough about mama.

Right now, big papa's home.

Don't worry, Martin, it's on the stove, go ahead.

Alright.

Dino.

I say, Dino.

Do you want me to get you a doggy bag?

'"Romeo!"'

"Romeo

"wherefore art thou, Romeo?"

- "Romeo!" - Gina, Gina, Gina!

Can y'all please go find Romeo?

So, Martin can watch TV?

Come on, baby, please, gimme that.

All he watches is "School Days," you've seen it a 100 times.

Shh!

Girl, this is the part where

where their sister

licks big brother Almighty's head.

Right down the part. She-she-she fine.

- It's not that skank. - Straight skank.

Hmm.

Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying.

- Hey. What's up, y'all? - Hey.

- You'll jolly in the rehearse? - What's up, y'all?

Tommy, not you too.

No, no, man, I'm just helpin' out.

See, I played Romeo

back when I was in high school.

- Cole. - Huh?

I know you ain't down with no Romeo and Juliet.

- Nope, not no more. - Huh.

I just seen them robin' a liquor store

you think they stop to speak to a brother?

Huh?

That was Ramona Jamaica, fool.

See, Romeo and Juliet are about two lovers

whose families hated one another.

Why?

I don't know why they didn't just go on "Family Feud"

at least they would've got paid.

- You know what I mean? - Ah-ha.

You wow, you wow, boy.

Survey says "Ding."

Shut the hell up, Cole.

- Well, what I, what-what-- - You just shut up, boy.

I just wanna know, what part am I gonna play?

Oh, Cole, we got a good role for you.

- What's that? - Yeah, Cole.

Look, your job is gonna be a boy!

- Tell him Pam! Tell him! - Yeah!

- Come on, give it to me, baby. - Check it out, check it out.

You get to open and close the curtains!

- Aeow! Ha-ha-aeow! - Oh, oh, oh! Two things.

- Two things. - Two things.

- Cool, cool, cool, babe. - Get in there. Yeah.

My pay's five dollars a day, plus gas money, yeah.

- Yeah. - What?

Wait a minute, baby. Ain't nobody gettin' paid.

- Not even James Earl Jackson. - Like he need to get paid.

Everybody know the Jacksons got money, even Randy.

- Pshh. - Pshh.

Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.

You sure you don't wanna be in the play, it might be fun, now.

No, no no. Not me, Gina.

- That play too corny for me. - Right.

Gina, he can't be in it.

I mean, this is Romeo and Juliet.

Not "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure."

Well, you can't be in it either, Pam.

'Why?'

Because, we're not doing "101 Dalmatians."

Nurse, why look'st thou sad?

'Stop!'

Stop!

Why do I put up with amateurs?

I can't do this.

But-but-but but, Mr. Jackson

it-it's, it's for the kids, remember?

Oh, yes, of course, the children.

People, the performance is tomorrow.

I beg you, pick up your energy.

- Okay. Hey, Gina. - Okay.

Now, let's take it from all good notes.

- Oh, Tommy, Big Tom. Cole. - What's up, now?

Marty Martin's is in the house!

- S-shhhh! - Wassup?

Baby, baby, we're still rehearsing.

- Still rehearsing? - Yeah.

Gina, y'all should've been finished.

I'm ready to get my grub on, baby.

Who is this man?

Gina, go on, talk to him. Tell him, baby.

Tell him who's the real Romeo in your world.

- Oh, okay. Okay, baby. - Huh?

Um, Mr. Jackson, this is my husband Martin

he just came to watch the rehearsal, that's it.

Then he should watch with his eyes, and not with his mouth!

Yeah, whatever..

...whatever.

It's James Earl.

In case you didn't know

I'm an award winning thespian.

Excuse me, baby.

Slide, baby, slide to the side.

Slide to the side.

Now, look here, Earl.

Now, I know this is the 90's.

And the thespian thing is in

but my wife

ain't down with the freaky dicky.

I know, bubba, just chill. We almost finished, alright?

Yeah, I wish you would act your age and not your height.

At least, I can act

whoopy golden retriever.

You got to stop this.

Silence. Silence!

I won't put up with noise in my theater.

- Hey, you spit on me. - On my eye.

Yo, I got that handled. I got that handled.

Baby, make one more slide.

Baby make one more slide, go there.

Excuse me, partner.

I said, partner!

You might wanna take that base out your voice.

Or else, I'm put my foot, square in the crack of your--

Ah-ah!

- Hey! Martin! - In your--

Don't, come on.

Come on, y'all, too much drama, now, I can't concentrate.

- Pull curtain. Pull curtain. - Alright.

- Just go, please, . - Alright, alright, alright.

Alright, well, look, I'ma just be over here

in the cut, chillin', alright? But, Gina, hurry up.

- Brother hungry, Gina. - Alright, Martin.

- I'm hungry! Soon. - Okay!

Now, let's it pick it up where

Romeo's outside of Juliet's window.

Trying to convince her to elope.

And, remember, Gina

this is supposed to be a tragedy.

What you mean, a tragedy?

Man, it, man, man this ain't no tragedy, man.

"Cooley High" was a tragedy.

Man, word is bond. Man, word is bond.

You-you you remember, Cochise, ha-had a scholarship, right?

To go to college.

And then they killed him, man!

They killed Cochise.

Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

Damn!

Damn! You ain't gotta get no attitude.

Gina, either he goes, or I go!

Okay, uh, no, Mr. Jackson, I'm really really sorry.

I'm sure there won't be no more interruptions, Martin!

Alright.

Places, please!

- Now, Gina. - Uh-huh?

This is the part where Romeo, played by me

would come up and give you a kiss.

- Man, you little thespian-- - Martin, come on.

Alright, alright, quiet. It's okay.

Alright, alright, alright, I'll be over here.

But, I ain't watchin' it. I ain't watchin'.

Finally!

Have not saints lips

and holy palmers too?

Aye

lips that they must use in prayer.

Then, dear saint

let lips do what hands do.

Yo, man!

If you do not..

- Ah. - Ah!

Oops.

Now, look what you've done!

Hey, look, play or no play

don't nobody kiss my woman.

- Cole. - Yeah?

You see James Earl?

Nah.

But I see a sister in the third row.

Baby's healthy. After the show.

- After the show. - Man, don't you start!

Where is James Earl?

He was supposed to be here, half hour ago, Pam.

Don't worry, Gina. He should be here any minute.

He just had to take some pain pills.

I know, I know, does everybody know

what they're supposed to do around here?

Yup, yup, I got it. Ahem!

When the play starts, close the curtain

when the play ends, open the curtain.

Nah, man!

It's the other way around.

You know what?

Y'all are not payin' me enough to remember this

so, write it down!

Hey, Juliet, Juliet, baby.

I brought you some flowers.

Have a good show, baby.

How am I supposed to have a good show, Martin?

We don't have a Romeo, man!

I thought you said, the brother was gonna be alright, Gina.

Oh! Oh, Mr. Jackson.

Oh, thank God you're here. How are you feeling?

I feel marvelous since I took all these pain pills.

Hey, wait a minute.

This-this bottle is empty.

You were only supposed to take one tablet

every six hours.

Whoops, my bad.

I thought it was six every one hour.

No wonder I feel so light on my feet.

I feel as though, as if I can fly!

Damn!

Brother high as a kite, eh?

Is he dead?

Oh, my God! He can't perform like this.

Tommy, you're gonna have to be Romeo.

Huh?

No-no, you, I mean, I can't..

What you mean, you can't, Tommy?

You played Romeo in high school, didn't you?

No, man, what I said, I was like a Romeo, I had all the honey.

Okay, okay.

I got stage fright.

Stage, uh, ahem.

I'll do it.

Hell, no!

Alright.

What're we gonna do? The house is packed.

We don't have a Romeo, y'all!

Alright, alright. Look, look.

Gina, I'll get you, your Romeo.

Okay? Look, I just gotta make a few calls.

Just stall 'em, okay? Just stall the audience.

Wait, stall 'em how?

I don't know, Tommy.

Go out there, and do some magic.

Pull Pam out the hat, alright?

No more deep will I endart mine eye

than your consent gives strength to make it fly.

Oh, Romeo.

Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Juliet, Juliet.

Romeo is in the house!

Hey, hey, hey, girl.

You should get your pots out.

'Cause, uh, word is..

PP buggin'.

Martin, what're you doin' here?

No, no, girl, it's Homeo.

Juliet, just flow with it, just flow with it.

Hey! What the hell is goin' on out here?

Wa-watch out, Juliet.

There's a grizzly bear behind you.

Nah, Homeo, that's just my nurse.

Well, she look more like your patient.

Just for that, I'm tellin' Juliet's pops

that out here, tryin' to get your mack on!

- Pop! - 'Girl.'

- Pop. - Come on, now.

Homeo, see what you did!

Plea-girl-the girl, she started with me.

Now, wassup? You comin' out with me

or you gonna stay here hang with Witchy Poo?

Oh, I'm not going anywhere

unless you marry me.

- Marry you? - Hell, yeah!

Girl, you tryin' to put a brother on lockdown, already?

I just came by here to see if you wanted to go to

the Jodeci concert.

Well, the concert sounds dope.

But, um, I'm still lookin' for that ring.

You know what I'm saying?

- A ring? - Eh-huh.

Jesus! Lo-look here, Juliet.

I ain't got that kind of loop, baby.

Alright? And, plus your father don't like me, anyway.

That's why I brought C-lo and T-lo.

Who?

- Yo, wassup, Homeo? - What's up, man?

What's up, man?

Yeah, dawg, her pop's still trippin' man?

Oh, it's all good, it's all good.

I'ma-I'ma see y'all at the concert, right?

- That's right. - Alright, I'll tell you, man.

Heard as someone was sayin', her brother's tryin' to jump you.

- Right, right. - You know what I'm sayin'?

- Word is bond. Okay? - I know.

- One love. - Straight up.

Straight up.

Bye, bye.

Bye, you know what I mean?

You know what I mean?

So, wassup, Juliet?

You rollin' with the brother or not?

What, wassup?

I still don't see no ring on this finger.

And, then, now, now, look here.

I can't just roll out with just any ol' body.

- Juliet. - Wassup?

I'm not just any ol' body, baby.

I got a record deal.

I'm about to blow up!

What, you got a deal?

So, you're about to be large, then, huh?

Since, you don't know

now you know.

Hit it!

- Yeah! - Right on!

Right on!

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

- Whoo! Congratulations, Martin. - Thank you.

I'm Kelly Garrett, I promote plays.

And that was quite an interesting spin

that you put on Romeo and Juliet.

Well, you know, I do a little somethin' somethin'.

I do that, occasionally, you know..

I have never seen Romeo and Juliet

done quite that way before.

- I-I tried to keep it real. - Really? Keep it real.

Yeah-yeah, we-we-we try to keep it real.

Yeah.

Yeah, that sure is nice. Anyway, Martin, I..

I just, excuse me.

I suppose you love that-that

hip-hop flavor that you added to Shakespeare.

You-you, you done that all yourself?

- Well, you know I-- - Wait a minute.

How you gonna take all the credit?

We've been the ones rehearsing for weeks.

- That's right. - Yeah, Martin.

Well, when you as good as I am

you don't need to rehearse.

Come on, now, dawg, you weren't the only one on the stage

C-lo, T-lo.

Martin. Us.

Alright, uh, alright, alright.

Y'all right. Y'all right.

You know, we're like a family act.

Check it out, we're like the Jacksons.

- Jacksons. - You know what I mean?

- I was Michael Jackson. - Hmm.

The star.

Gina, baby..

- You were Janet. - Ah-ha-ha!

- If you're nasty. - Ha-ha-ha.

- Tommy, Cole. - Hmm?

- You were Jermaine and Jack. - Alright.

- Yeah, and Pam. - Huh.

You is Todo.

Uh, you mean, Tedo.

No, no. I mean Todo.

- The family pitbull. - Alright.

Hey, hey, hey, let go.

Any-anyway man, I'm gonna cut right to the chase.

You-you know, I think your show was slammin'.

And I'd like to take it on the road.

- Whoa! - You all heard that?

We're going on the road.

- You serious, man? - Pss, am I serious?

Am I serious? Man this could be huge.

It could be large, it could be as big as uh

uh..

Mama done burnt up the chicken!

Holy smack! Holy smack, yo!

Yo, that was large man, me and mom saw that three times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, um..

Look, uh, uh, Mr. Garrett Kelly, whatever..

Thanks for the offer, man.

But we ain't got the time to be goin' on the road.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, think about it, Martin.

Mama done burnt up the chicken made 25 million dollars.

- What time the plane leave? - Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Uh, excuse me, but um..

Yeah, I-I'm just interested in Martin.

I, psh..

Psh, ka..

- Baby. - No, it's okay.

- Yeah, I'm sure. - Baby, it's alright.

- I won't go anywhere. - Hey, baby.

Now, now Mr. Garrett you don't hurt my baby's heart.

Yeah, no, you don't hurt the heart. You don't hurt the heart.

Let me tell you something, man.

You don't want my people

then you don't want me.

Oh, well, you know..

Think about it, Martin.

Gimme a call. Okay?

Whoa whoa whoa, hol-hol-hold hold on, partner.

Ain't nothing to think about.

Ol' Marty Mart ain't sellin' out.

You see, before I sell out

I gets the hell out.

Wait, Mr. Garrett.

- I'll sell out. - Oh, damn.

We can take the play to Japan.

Mama san done burn up the sushi!

- Sell out, thespian! - Yeah!

Now, that brother is a real sell-out.

Hey, thanks for having our backs, dawg.

- Yeah. - Word up, man.

25 million? It's a lot of money.

- Yeah. - This is all good.

Y'all would have done the same thing for me.

Pffh! Not me.

I would've ran with that cash

and been like, "Peace!"

- Martin.. - Yes.

You know what, you made a lot of money for those kids today

and they loved you.

Well, you know Marty Mart..

...loves the kids.

And Gina Gin loves her Marty Mart.

Can I get what I need?

Oh, God!

I think I'm gonna be sick.