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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,003
Alright, okay..
2
00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:05,405
- Alright.
- There it is.
3
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:06,406
It's all fixed.
4
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:07,841
Martin, if this all fixed
5
00:00:07,907 --> 00:00:09,576
what're all these
parts doing on the floor?
6
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:10,877
Gina, we don't need 'em.
7
00:00:10,977 --> 00:00:13,913
Baby, they always give you
extra pieces.
8
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,217
I don't know about this, Martin.
9
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:18,885
I'm calling the maintenance man
on this one.
10
00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,254
No, no. Louis takes too long.
11
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:23,757
Plus, I can't wait six months
to use the toilet.
12
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,092
- Alright, Martin, you're right.
- Check it out.
13
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,496
See, it's all good, baby.
14
00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:31,831
Oh, excuse me.
15
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,566
- Oh!
- Oh.
16
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:34,701
Oh..
17
00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,039
What is that?
18
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,240
Look at me.
19
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:41,741
Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
20
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:46,613
- Martin!
- What?
21
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,349
That wasn't me.
You know that's the toilet
22
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:51,785
it sounds like it's about to
hurl something.
23
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,019
- Oh..
- Ah!
24
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,756
Oh, damn!
25
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:31,658
Hello? Is Louis there?
26
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,993
We need to get our toilet fixed.
27
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,462
Oh, you don't speak English?
28
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,397
Um, well, can you tell Louis
29
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:40,166
that there's aqua everywhere?
30
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:42,502
And, that, uh,
we need our toilet fixed
31
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,671
el...fasto.
32
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:49,509
Bye-bye.
That didn't work at all.
33
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:50,677
Coming.
34
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,245
- Hey, good girl.
- Hey, good girl.
35
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,013
You know what?
I need a big favor.
36
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,448
What's up? What you need?
37
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:58,084
Well, can you borrow some candy
bars from me?
38
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:00,854
They're only a dollar each
and it's for a good cause.
39
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,021
Sure, Pam.
40
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,090
You're doing charity work,
now, girl?
41
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:05,358
That's nice.
42
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,460
What you need?
How many you need me to buy?
43
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:08,695
5,000.
44
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:11,364
5,000?
45
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,433
You're kidding me, right?
46
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,302
No, Gina, I'm serious.
47
00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:18,872
If I don't get this money
by next week
48
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,874
they gonna take
everything I got.
49
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,811
Everything.
50
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,514
What, who do you owe?
Pam, the mob?
51
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,115
No, worse, Gina.
52
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:30,717
The IRS.
53
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:31,985
I just got a letter this week
54
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,653
saying that
I owe them five grand.
55
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,988
And I don't know
where I'mma get it.
56
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:36,856
Oh, Pam!
57
00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:39,392
Aye, Gina, where's Louis?
58
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,729
The water in the bathroom
is knee deep, baby.
59
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,397
You better be careful, shorty.
60
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,965
You might drown.
61
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:47,734
- I'm trying to fix the toilet--
- I'm in a bad mood.
62
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,169
Sweetie, sweetie, not now.
63
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:51,204
She, she, she got problems,
baby.
64
00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:53,406
She needs $5,000.
65
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,674
Five thou..
66
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,210
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
67
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:58,511
What did you do?
68
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,413
You getting sued
for bitin' somebody?
69
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,683
Very funny.
70
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,252
The IRS says that
I'm behind in taxes.
71
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:09,055
Well, how far behind
are you, Pam?
72
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:10,890
Let me see, um..
73
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,525
When did Papa Rain come out?
74
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:16,896
Pam! That was 1984.
75
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,565
You haven't paid taxes
since then?
76
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:21,201
Well, Gina, look. How am I
supposed to pay the government
77
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,902
if I'm gonna keep my hair tight?
78
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,339
Well, I hope they do
weaves in the joint.
79
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,041
'Cause that's where you going.
80
00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:29,876
A-weav-a-derci.
81
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,411
- Shh..
- Pam.
82
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:34,113
- Martin, now she has problems.
- You know you've to pay taxes.
83
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,683
You've been actin' like
you don't know.
84
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:37,850
I got your message.
85
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:39,852
I heard you got a broken stove?
86
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:41,721
Man, that was three months ago.
87
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,089
We fixed that.
88
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:44,524
Now, my toilet's broke.
89
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:45,959
Broken toilet.
90
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,895
I'm gonna have to put you to the
bottom of our waiting list.
91
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,430
Man, you're gonna be
waiting for an avalanche
92
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,966
if you don't get in there
and fix my toilet.
93
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,701
I might as well fix it,
since it's the last thing
94
00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:55,868
I'll be able to do for you.
95
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:58,137
Why?
Are you getting fired?
96
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,541
I wish. I got a letter
from immigration today.
97
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,476
They can't verify
my citizenship
98
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,479
so it looks like I'll be making
a run for the border.
99
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,548
Well, damn!
Well, since you're going
100
00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,317
bring me back a taco,
a burrito supreme..
101
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,653
- Baby, you want somethin'?
- Um, no thank you.
102
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,422
No, I'm talking about
a real run for the border.
103
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:17,991
I'm being deported.
104
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,459
I know these people are serious.
105
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,394
They just deported a friend
of mine to Mexico.
106
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,596
- Wow.
- Dang, that's jacked up.
107
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,465
Especially, since
he was from Canada.
108
00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,501
I'm gonna miss all of you.
109
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:29,836
- Damn!
- Oh..
110
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,272
- Everybody's got problems, huh?
- Hmm-hmm.
111
00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,641
- Louis, you being deported.
- Hmm.
112
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:36,476
Pam-E-coyote.
113
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:39,012
You about to go to jail.
114
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:43,016
Congratulations, I hear jail
is a very good college.
115
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:46,019
Oh, Louis, not Yale.
116
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,487
Jail.
117
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:48,488
Prison.
118
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,356
The big house.
119
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,693
I owe $5,000 in back taxes.
120
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,296
$5,000?
121
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:57,997
I might be able
to give you that.
122
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,833
You can?
123
00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:03,870
- What's the catch?
- Me. I'm the catch.
124
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,105
I need you to marry me.
125
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,340
Me marry you?
126
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,976
You must El Pollo Loco.
127
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,345
Y'all hear him over here
talking his best?
128
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,714
No.
I'm serious.
129
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,550
I need to marry an American
to stay in the country.
130
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,951
Woah, woah!
131
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,354
Wait a minute, Louis.
132
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:22,789
You can't marry a donkey.
133
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,691
What the kids gonna look like?
134
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,896
They'll look like you,
only taller.
135
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,864
- I'm about two minutes--
- Yo, I'm trying to--
136
00:05:31,964 --> 00:05:33,733
- And go right there.
- Hey.
137
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,368
Louis, Pam is my best friend.
138
00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,470
I knew she wouldn't even go
for anything like that, okay?
139
00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:39,072
Pam, would you get over here
and tell the man..
140
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,741
How soon can you
get the cash, amigo?
141
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:42,875
Pam!
142
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:44,711
Come on, Gina,
what's the big deal?
143
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,579
The marriage will
just be on paper,
144
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,414
I get to pay back the IRS.
145
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:49,549
I get to stay in the country.
146
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,384
Hey, and I get rid of Pam
147
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,853
and get my toilet fixed,
so y'all work it out.
148
00:05:58,324 --> 00:05:59,892
- Alright. Excuse me.
- Hola.
149
00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:02,328
- Yeah.
- Hola.
150
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,763
You know what, man?
I always thought
151
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,264
Pam was gonna end up with Tommy.
152
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,533
Cole, they ain't getting
married for real, man.
153
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,436
I mean, it's real,
but it ain't real.
154
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,840
Right, right, okay, kinda
like Michael and Lisa Marie.
155
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,274
- Right?
- Yeah, yeah.
156
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,243
Something like that, okay?
Something like that.
157
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,883
Oh, Louis, my nephew
is getting married.
158
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:27,620
That woman better be good to him
because he's a very good man.
159
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,857
Yes, he is.
And so is Pam.
160
00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:33,025
Go right down that way.
161
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,260
Wipe your tears.
162
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,728
Wipe your tears.
163
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:39,632
Look, Pam, I know your wedding
is a scam and all
164
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,067
but what if you meet somebody
165
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,069
that you really wanna be with
tomorrow?
166
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,971
What about that, Pam?
Tell me.
167
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,206
Gina, just because I'm married
168
00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,642
doesn't mean that I can't date.
169
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:53,646
That last comment, I'm not gonna
even talk about it.
170
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,549
Excuse me?
171
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:04,724
I want to talk to my future wife
about our honeymoon.
172
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,463
Uh, come here for a second.
Listen.
173
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:13,132
There ain't gonna be no foolin'
around between you and me.
174
00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:15,001
So, stop worryin'
about the honeymoon
175
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,836
and get me money, soon.
176
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,940
Ah, yes, I have your
money right here.
177
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:22,508
Thank you.
178
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,510
Wait a minute.
This is only half of it.
179
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,145
Where-where's the rest
of my money, man?
180
00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:28,681
You get the rest after
the marriage is official.
181
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,283
- Ah!
- You know what?
182
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:32,785
I'm gonna let you two love birds
handle your business secrets.
183
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:35,688
I can't take this,
I can't take it!
184
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,791
So, Pam, how about a little,
little good luck kiss?
185
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:41,294
How do you say "no" in Spanish?
186
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,462
No.
187
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,197
Whoop, there it is.
188
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,433
- Hey.
- Oh, hola.
189
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,101
- Hola.
- What's happenin' there?
190
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:50,670
- Alright.
- What's up, Martin?
191
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,104
Nipsey, what you doin'
in here, man?
192
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:53,706
Oh, Cole, hired me to
cater at the reception
193
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,541
where should I set up
the buffet?
194
00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:00,813
I know damn well that ain't all
the food you brought, man.
195
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,482
Where's the rest of the food?
196
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,517
Oh, I ate some of them
on the way over here.
197
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:09,522
Man, just set up over there on
the counter, Thick Van Axel.
198
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:14,060
Where's the minister?
I wanna get this over with.
199
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,128
Okay, calm down, he'll be here
in a minute, alright?
200
00:08:16,195 --> 00:08:19,165
Alright, alright, I'm here,
let's get this charade started.
201
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,033
Tommy is performing
the ceremony?
202
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:23,469
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah,
he's an ordained minister.
203
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:25,304
See, he took classes at the Y.
204
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:27,507
He can marry people
and do the back stroke.
205
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,641
Go ahead, Tommy.
206
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,711
He seems upset.
207
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,913
Well, he used to be Pam's owner,
before you.
208
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,884
Alright, somebody start
the music, go.
209
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:50,263
Which reminds me..
210
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,031
...y'all got some white wine?
211
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,038
- Go ahead, Gina.
- What, no.
212
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,009
- Hey, Nips, what's up, baby?
- What's up, Pam?
213
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:04,210
So, how's it goin'?
214
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,278
- Oh, it's alright, Pam.
- This is alright?
215
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,846
- Yeah, ma'am.
- Hmm.
216
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,284
Hey, girl, I've seen you before.
217
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,920
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey,
Pam, you wanna hurry up?
218
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,388
We gotta do this thing.
I ain't got all day.
219
00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:17,690
Well, I like to talk to people,
this is my day.
220
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:18,791
This is my day!
221
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,726
- My day!
- Alright, now.
222
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,130
We are gathered here today..
223
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,633
...dearly deported..
224
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,872
I mean, beloved.
225
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,808
We are gathered here to join
these two phonies
226
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,810
in holy matrimony.
227
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,412
Watch yourself, Tommy.
228
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:40,980
Right.
229
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,815
Louis
230
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,885
you take Pam to be your
lawfully wedded wife?
231
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,588
Si.
232
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:51,257
- See what?
- That means yes.
233
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,959
Why the hell didn't
you just say yes?
234
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:55,461
- 'Cause I didn't ask you--
- Why the hell you a minister?
235
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:56,996
Aye, fellas, aye!
236
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,068
Tommy, you a minister.
237
00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:04,770
Yeah, I know, I was about to lay
hands on him, too.
238
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,107
Tommy, calm down.
239
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,343
Alright, I'm cool, I'm cool,
I'm cool.
240
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,444
Amen.
241
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:15,514
Pam
242
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,618
do you take Louis here
243
00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:21,654
to be your unlawfully
wedded husband?
244
00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,956
As long as he got that check,
I do.
245
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,492
Anybody here, like me
246
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,861
agree that, you know, they
shouldn't be getting married?
247
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:34,266
Oh, they look so beautiful
together.
248
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:37,336
But I sure hope the children
don't get her D's.
249
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:43,542
I still can't believe Pam is
marryin' a man for $5000.
250
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,979
Now $5500, I can understand.
251
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:49,982
Damn!
252
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,618
I should have asked for an
extra $500.
253
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:02,361
The thought you have reached is
not in service, at this time.
254
00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:07,233
And there is no
new thought available.
255
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,372
I can't wait till this is over.
256
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:16,375
I'm gonna knock her boots
from here to Albuquerque.
257
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,814
This is amazing.
258
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,983
I can't believe..
259
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:27,086
...how good Pam looks
in that wedding dress.
260
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,754
Man, please.
261
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:34,326
Hey, hey, hey,
so what's up, y'all?
262
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,696
Ain't nobody gonna
speak their mind in here?
263
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:39,432
Damn!
264
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,368
I don't think y'all
should be doin' this.
265
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,437
By the power..
266
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,373
...invested in me by the YMCA..
267
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:52,278
...I know pronounce you..
268
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,513
Well, I-I now pronounce you--
269
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,116
Chico and the man, come on.
270
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,400
That'll be $5.
271
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,235
$5?
I thought this was a open bar.
272
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,637
It is a open bar.
If you got $5, it's open.
273
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:21,307
Yeah!
274
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,610
Woo-hoo!
Whoo!
275
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,045
Whoo!
276
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,446
Ah!
277
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:30,483
- Ah. Hey. Whoo!
- Hey, baby.
278
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,384
Baby, don't you think you should
make a toast or something?
279
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:34,153
- You're right, Boo, you right.
- I got it.
280
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,823
Okay, uh, can I have everybody's
attention, please?
281
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,325
I'd like to propose a toast.
282
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,826
Well, alright.
Well, alright.
283
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,561
Some toast, now, that's
what I'm talking about.
284
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:44,296
Some real food up in here.
285
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,431
You know..
286
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:50,336
To...the bride and the groom.
287
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,305
And for those of you
who are confused
288
00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:55,174
Pam is the bride.
289
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,308
What, baby?
290
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,643
Martin, would you
please be nice?
291
00:12:57,743 --> 00:12:59,345
Oh, don't even worry about it,
Gina.
292
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,181
I mean, Martin climbed down all
the way down that wedding cake
293
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,516
to make this toast.
294
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,419
Ah-ha, ah-ha.
You wild.
295
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:09,522
You wild.
296
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,956
Ah..
297
00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:12,491
Now, uh.. Ahem.
298
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:13,826
I gotta say, uh..
299
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:17,429
I've, uh, I've known
Pam for a long time.
300
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,532
You know, we always haven't seen
eye to eye.
301
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,934
That's because I couldn't bend
down that low.
302
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,037
I'm tryin' to be nice.
303
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,874
- Okay?
- I don't care. I'm ready to go!
304
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,177
So, let me be the first to say..
305
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,681
Pam...Louis..
306
00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:37,449
...may y'all have a happy life.
307
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:38,717
- Yeah.
- Whoo!
308
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,822
And one big litter.
309
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,658
- Martin.
- I said it.
310
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:46,826
I said it.
311
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,494
At a weddin', I said it!
312
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,695
Pam..
313
00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:51,897
Hey, Gina, look.
314
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,699
It's gettin' late, baby.
These people got to roll.
315
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,301
Come on, Martin,
it's Pam's wedding.
316
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,403
Everybody's having a great time.
Come on, baby.
317
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,505
Alright, look, don't worry,
I'll be nice about it, okay?
318
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:00,573
I-I won't offend nobody.
319
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,141
- Alright, Martin.
- Okay?
320
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,410
- Alright, that's my baby.
- Mwah. Okay. Here you go.
321
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,845
- Thank you.
- Hold that for me. Mwah.
322
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,246
Excuse me.
323
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,682
I need everybody's
attention once again.
324
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,752
I need everybody on this
side of the apartment
325
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,222
to move to the outside
of the apartment.
326
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:18,524
You ain't got to go home
327
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:19,992
but you got to get the hell out
of here.
328
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,894
- Peace.
- You know, that was offensive.
329
00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,262
- Martin--
- Peace.
330
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,930
- I'm sorry.
- Good day.
331
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,666
Bye-bye, everybody,
thanks for coming.
332
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,767
Alright.
333
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:29,835
Bye-bye.
334
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:30,870
Thank you, mwah.
335
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,071
Congratulations.
336
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:35,574
Louis, it was
a beautiful wedding.
337
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,444
Alright, I'll see y'all later.
338
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,778
Wait a minute, where you goin'?
339
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,247
I got a date.
340
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,349
You can't go out on a date
in your wedding dress.
341
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,050
Oh, no, don't worry,
I got that covered.
342
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,222
Oh, you know what,
since I'm leaving
343
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,624
you might as well give me
rest of my cash.
344
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,926
Pam, you can't go out on a date.
345
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,629
What do you mean? I did my part.
I got married, didn't I?
346
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,530
It's not official yet.
This is not over.
347
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,766
Immigration is coming over
tomorrow morning
348
00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:03,802
to make sure this marriage is
legit. Once all of that is over
349
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,372
I'll give you the rest
of your money. I promise.
350
00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:07,973
See, now, this is gonna
cost you extra.
351
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,376
- I gave you 5--
- Come up off the dough!
352
00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:15,915
Uh, Louis...don't you think
353
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:17,650
you brought enough stuff
up in here?
354
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,553
I just want the investigator to
believe I really live with Pam.
355
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,722
Well, I don't know if he gonna
believe it, but
356
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:26,792
damn sure don't look like a cave
no more, I'll tell you that.
357
00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,260
Martin.
358
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:29,728
Pam, come on out, now.
359
00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,664
The investigator will be
here any minute.
360
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:35,067
'Forget it! I'm not coming out
in this outfit.'
361
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,669
Girl, you better come out here
362
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,905
as much money as he's invested,
now, girl, get on out here.
363
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,411
- Gina.
- What?
364
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,849
$5,000 ain't worth
me lookin' ridiculous.
365
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,118
You're right.
Lose the sombrero.
366
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,189
Pam, it's only gonna take
a few minutes.
367
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,191
So, just do it
and get it over with.
368
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,859
That's right, Pam.
Then we gonna set you
369
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,861
free in the wild, girl.
Let you just go wild.
370
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,198
- That's our officer, Martin.
- That's him, the investigator.
371
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,866
- Come on, let's go.
- Alright, look.
372
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,769
Remember, okay, if you run into
trouble, we got your back.
373
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:12,671
- We got your back.
- Is the picture straight?
374
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,306
- Okay.
- Alright, that'll look tight.
375
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:15,507
Okay.
376
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,979
Welcome to mi casa,
Me crib es su crib.
377
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,382
Muchos gracias.
378
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,351
I'm Wayne Philips,
department of Immigration.
379
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,386
- You must be Louis?
- Yes.
380
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,788
And this is my lovely
American wife, Pam.
381
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:31,824
We're happily married.
Thank you very much for coming.
382
00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:33,225
- Adios.
- Hold on.
383
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,795
I have a few questions
I'd like to ask first.
384
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,731
- Who are they?
- Oh, they?
385
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,199
Um, they are friends,
the Payne's.
386
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:41,734
They were witnesses
at our wedding
387
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,370
and Louis and I have known them
since we first met.
388
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:45,704
- Yeah.
- Hmm-hmm.
389
00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:47,539
Now, where exactly
was it that you met?
390
00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:50,909
Ah, they met at the
Million man march.
391
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,044
Sorry.
392
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:54,747
- Oh, no. No.
- Stupid.
393
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,582
I'm sorry.
He's-he's joking.
394
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,751
He meant they met in March.
395
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,419
Alright, well,
thanks for coming.
396
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,054
Ah, here's the door right here,
so..
397
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:05,491
I'll be leaving as soon
as I finish the investigation.
398
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,763
Now, uh, how long were you two
engaged before you got married?
399
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,265
- Five years.
- Six months.
400
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,934
I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
401
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,603
Well, we've known each other
for six months
402
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,039
but it feels like five years.
403
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:24,543
And, that's because, being with
Pam is like doin' hard time.
404
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:28,614
Nobody was talkin' to you,
shorty by nature.
405
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,416
Excuse me, uh, Mr. Philips,
I'm sorry.
406
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,284
I-I really don't understand
why you're even
407
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,919
doing this investigation.
408
00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:36,455
Actually, we found it
very coincidental
409
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,425
that you two got married
two days after we informed
410
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:40,859
Louis he was going
to be deported.
411
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:43,195
Oh, no, no, no.
Louis and I have been
412
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:44,797
planning out wedding for ages.
413
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,565
Yo, that's right.
I mean, all Pam
414
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,434
ever talked about
was getting married.
415
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:50,269
And getting a new leash on life.
416
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,941
Don't mind him, Mr. Philips.
He's just a little bitter.
417
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,876
He was too short
to be our ring-bearer!
418
00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:59,278
Shut up!
419
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,981
Speaking of rings, why aren't
you two wearing any?
420
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,386
You know,
that's a damn good question.
421
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,888
Excuse me for a minute.
Louis, sweetheart.
422
00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:11,824
Uh, you were supposed
to get the rings.
423
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,893
No, mi amor, you were supposed
to get the rings.
424
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,662
No, no, see that's where the
problem lies.
425
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,796
You don't pay attention to me.
426
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,265
No, no, don't be talking
that mess up here.
427
00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:21,934
I don't know
all that gala-gala.
428
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,469
No, this is an English house.
429
00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:25,304
I've seen all I need to see.
430
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:26,905
Alright, alright, look,
get to the point.
431
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:29,108
'Cause I got somewhere to be.
Did they pass or not?
432
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:31,176
You kidding?
The way these two argue?
433
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,411
They got to be married.
434
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:33,679
- Yes!
- Whoo!
435
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,848
- I'm so happy I--
- Whoo!
436
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:45,424
Damn, Louis.
437
00:18:47,659 --> 00:18:49,995
I didn't know you
had it like that, pumpy.
438
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,137
Me neither.
439
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:00,205
Oh, so, Mr. Philips, uh
440
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,807
thank you for coming, and, uh..
441
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,042
Oh-oh, Mr. Philips, uh-huh
442
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,044
it was nice to have met you.
443
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,313
Ah, the pleasure was all mine,
Miss, uh?
444
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:11,183
- James.
- No, that's your maiden name.
445
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:13,685
- What's your new last name?
- Oh, she knows it. It's--
446
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:16,522
Let your wife answer, Louis.
447
00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:20,025
Of course, I know my last name.
448
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,462
Um, Gonzales.
449
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:25,998
Garcia?
450
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,501
Ricardo?
451
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:33,972
Does that mean we failed?
452
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,374
Of course, you failed.
453
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:37,309
If you don't know
your husband's last name
454
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,744
the marriage can't be real.
455
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,213
Louis, I'm afraid you're gonna
have to be deported.
456
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:44,049
- Damn!
- Louis, I'm so sorry.
457
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:46,185
Damn, partner,
I'mma miss you, man.
458
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:49,254
Me, too, Louis.
I'mma miss you, too.
459
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,890
Does that mean you're gonna pay
me my money back in pesos?
460
00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:59,698
Louis, I promise to pay you
all your money back.
461
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:02,100
Forget it, Pam.
A deal's a deal.
462
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,936
I appreciate
what you did for me.
463
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,505
Mm.
Thanks.
464
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:09,875
Yeah, and I appreciate it if you
take it to Mexico with you.
465
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,044
- Shut up, Martin.
- Girl, I'm just playin'.
466
00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:13,545
Gimme a dollar.
467
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:21,086
Louis, I think this is a wedding
present that you forgot to open.
468
00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:23,055
- Oh, it's from my mom.
- Oh.
469
00:20:23,121 --> 00:20:25,557
"Dear son, this picture
is my gift to you
470
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:28,527
and your new bride.
Love, Mommy and Papi."
471
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,629
Oh, who's this one
with the baby?
472
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,966
- That's my ma, and that's me.
- Ooh.
473
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,867
But that's not Papi.
474
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:38,937
Oh, my mom was living foul.
475
00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:40,205
Woah, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
476
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:41,640
There's some writing
on the back.
477
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,109
"Louis Mama and Doctor Brady.
478
00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:48,280
New York Hospital,
one day after delivery."
479
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,249
New York Hospital?
480
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,484
Louis, do you know
what this means?
481
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:54,820
- Baby, it means he's one of us.
- Yeah!
482
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,922
You mean, I'm African-American?
483
00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:01,326
No, Louis, it means
you're a US citizen.
484
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:02,628
You don't have to be deported.
485
00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:03,929
Whoa!
Woo-hoo-ho!
486
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,764
- Oh, that's so good.
- Yay, Louis!
487
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,332
- Yes, how can I ever..
- Yeah.
488
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,434
Ever, ever show my appreciation?
489
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:11,336
Hey, how about taking
your wife out to dinner?
490
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,738
For real?
491
00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:14,506
Yeah, I thought maybe we could
go out once before
492
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,341
our marriage is annulled.
493
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,676
- I know just the place.
- Go.
494
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,144
- Let's go.
- Uh..
495
00:21:19,244 --> 00:21:20,946
Uh, Louis, let me holler at you
for a second.
496
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,314
Let me holler, second.
497
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,150
You better get separate checks.
498
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,519
Taking Pam out
could be very expensive.
499
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,855
You know she got
an extra roll of teeth?
500
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,323
You mean, she eats a lot, huh?
501
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:34,660
No, she clamp down on your ass,
man, you'll get Rabies.
36108
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