Original subtitles

Who is knocking at the door this early in the morning.

This building better be on fire.

What's up there, baby?

Roscoe, what are you doing here?

I-I should be the one with the bad attitude.

You-you know your hair look a lot bigger

when you ain't got on no makeup.

You know what?

When I moved in here, I thought I was getting away from you.

Why are you following me?

First of all, I'm not following you, okay?

My-my mother sent me here to live-to live with my daddy.

And I'm just glad that he lives in the building

so that I could get a look at you.

Aw.

After you put on your makeup.

I want you to put rouge, your blush

your little nippy lipsticks, all-all of that stuff.

I'm going back to bed. Good-bye. Good-bye.

You're not going back to bed. You're not going.

Yes, I am. Hey, boy, don't touch it. Hey.

I didn't touch it, I said wait. I wanna talk to you.

What do you want?

I see this delivery truck downstairs

and they was delivering this big old bed up here.

The bed was real big.

Yes, that's my new brass bed that I ordered.

Well, what happened to your old bed?

You wear it out doin' the grown up, huh?

Well, what you was doing, huh?

What you..

This is why I.. Do you wanna know why I never talk to you?

- That's why I don't talk to-- - Wait. Okay, wait there.

- Wait, okay, wait. - What? What?

- What do you want. - Wait, okay, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, your-your-your old bed, can I have it for my club house?

For what, lil' boy?

Well, I learned this new game.

It's called gynecologist. I can do a real check-up.

You little nasty..

Whazzup? Whazzup? Whazzup?

Druce, come on. Stop lolling there.

Hey, man, be careful with that one.

Man, why don't you just let me do my job.

Hey, look, man, if you put a dent in my headboard

I'mma put a dent in your damn wallet.

Relax, man, you've got the Nefertiti 2000.

It's made of solid brass from the hills of North Africa

and is virtually indestructible.

Oh, good, 'cause I'm virtually unstoppable.

My baby!

Martin, not in front of the mover, baby.

Alright, but look, as soon as they leave, girl, we..

Hey, no, hey.

Look, let me warn you about your new mattress.

Watch those springs.

You could bounce a coin

from here to New York on that bed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, look, just go in the back

and do what you do. Here, here.

- Oh, yeah. - Here's an extra dollar.

Phoop-de-doop, a whole dollar.

Yeah, use us for a down payment on a new attitude.

Now please, man, go do what you do.

Look, man, you two sure are in a hurry.

The little snapped-nosed kid down the hall told me

you was newlyweds.

If I were you, I would take advantage

of our extended warranty program.

Well, hell, put us down for the lifetime plan.

- Yeah. - That seem okay?

- There you go. - Alright.

'Right on.'

Alright, baby

start your engines, girl.

We about to take that new bed for a test drive, baby, huh?

Hey, hey, Martin, I-I still have work to do, Martin.

I got this big presentation today, okay?

If the client likes it, I'mma get this account.

- Now back up off me. - Hey, baby, look, come on.

Look, let's jump in that thing and make the bed springs sing

Gina, come on now.

Well, it did look a little springy.

And, Martin, I've never slept on a brass bed before, so..

So check it out.

If you feeling like extra

freaky tight like, you know..

I'll let you snatch the tags off the mattress.

- Ooh! - You wanna do that?

- You wanna snatch 'em all? - Alright.

We'll do this, Martin, but, uh, let's make this snappy, alright?

Baby, I'm happy to make it snappy.

I don't think the dump would take this one.

We gonna have to burn it.

Whoa!

Martin, how long have you had that old mattress, honey?

For a long time, baby.

Used to be mama's when she was a kid.

As evil as that woman is

I thought she slept on a bed of nails.

Now, you know, that's really funny.

Not as funny as me throwing your ass out, now step, man.

Step.

Come on, baby.

Let's ride the new bed back to Africa, baby.

Ah!

Ah. Oh, damn.

Ah!

Hello, can I speak to 911?

Yeah, this is emergency. Idaho. Damn.

'Martin, help me out!'

Okay, look, baby, don't panic, I got 911 on the line.

Hey, look here, uh, 911

my woman, she-she stuck in bed.

Well, what-what happened, right? We bought this new bed, right?

So we got to bounce and doing this

old friggy-diggy type thing, and then..

Oh, oh, damn, just look, use your imagination, alright?

- 'Martin?' - Yeah. Yeah.

- 'What are they saying.' - Oh, baby!

They're laughing at us, Gina.

Martin, will you please help me! I can't out!

Okay, I'm coming, baby. I'm coming, look.

Turn sideways. Turn..

Turn sideways, Gina.

Ouch! Ouch, Martin, it hurts.

- Pivot your head, baby. - Ouch, ouch!

I can't. Wait a minute, it's heavy.

Swivel your head. You gotta pivot, Gina.

Alright, alright.

I can't get out. I can't get out. I can't get out.

'Gina.'

Oh, my God. Oh.

Alright, Gina, look, I'm suing the hell out of that

bed company, Gina.

Martin, Martin, you gotta get me out of this thing.

You gotta get me out of this thing, Martin.

I've gotta get to work. I can't miss this meeting.

Alright, now, look. Gina, look. Now look.

Let's not-let's not lose our head on this one, okay?

Baby, you just got to think our way out of this, okay? Come on.

Okay, Martin, could you please hurry up

because I think my head is swelling. I think..

Damn, baby. I don't think your head can get no bigger.

Hey, boy, no stalling me I swear.

I'm just very serious.

Okay, look, I tell you what, Gina. I go..

I'mma go to kitchen, get some butter, butter you up, and bam!

- You outta there, baby. - No!

That's how I got into this mess.

Just hand me the phone. I can't reach it.

Please, just give it to me. I gotta make a call.

Who you're gonna call, Gina, Unsolved Mysteries?

Baby, even they can't solve this one, Gina.

No, Martin, I gotta call work to tell them

I'm gonna be a little late, okay?

Look, look, Gina, here, look.

Baby, I'll tell you what, let's go back in the bedroom

retrace our steps, and bam, free at last, baby.

Shh! Shh! Hello. Mr. Oaks, um, yeah, this is Gina Payne.

Excuse me. Um, listen..

Look, I'm gonna be a few minutes late, okay?

No, no, I'll make the meeting. Yes.

No.

No, I'll be there. Okay, it's no problem.

Okay, sir, yes, sir.

No, nothing's wrong, okay.

Yes, sir. Good-bye.

Oh, damn, Martin, get the phone.

- Alright, alright, alright. - Get the phone.

Alright, baby. Okay, look.

Gina, Gina. Okay, Gina. Alright..

'You look okay, baby.'

No, no, no. No, Marin, look at me.

I look like Bozo behind bars.

Alright, look, baby, look. It's not-it's not that bad, Gina.

I mean, look, I hear red teeth are in these days, baby.

You know what? This is all your fault.

Wait, wait. No, what do you.. What do you mean my fault?

Yeah, Martin. Yeah.

I told you I had a meeting to get to

but you just had to try out the new bed.

Man, I knew we was headed for trouble.

Hey, look, Gina, don't blame me, baby.

You're the one who went to try the double backflip.

Who is that?

- Uh, th-that's Tommy and Pam. - What?

Yeah, I asked them to come over help you get out of that, baby.

Damn, Martin, I don't want them to see me like this.

Come on. Keep it going. Keep it going.

Pam, turn off the video camera now.

Turn-turn off the video camera.

Wait. No, girl, I can't do that.

I'm sending this to America's Funniest Home Videos.

Girl, you're gonna win grand prize for this one.

Get away from me, Pam.

Look, Gina, Gina, Gina, Gina.

- Come on. Come on. That's okay. - Get off.

Gina, just one question..

How the hell this happened?

I be stroking.

That's what I've been doing. I've been stroking.

Hey! You are so nasty.

Look, that's how we got into this.

That's nasty.

Y'all wanna cut the chat and get this thing off me.

- Okay, alright. - Okay, what can I do to help.

Uh, okay, I'll tell you what you can do to help.

To help her get out of that, you can tell us how you sneak

out of your cage every night at the kennel.

I mean, how do you just get out?

Only if you can tell me how you can walk under a door with it

being closed, Inch High.

Look, look, just make yourself useful and start chewing

through the bars, alright, please.

Shut up. Look, I'mma try to call the company

and see if they could send somebody over.

Oh, stupid.

- Hey, hey, Martin. - Yeah.

I've got an idea, man.

You think the two of us can pull these bars apart, man?

You know, now you thinking, man. That's a good idea.

Now you-now you're thinking, Tommy.

Why you're thinking..

- Okay, here we go. - Alright.

Stop. Stop. Just stop, stop.

Look, I gotta sit down. I feel like I'm a little, y'all know..

I know you ain't feeling lightheaded, Gina.

Say, I know you ain't feeling woozy?

Look, just sit me on the couch, please.

- Alright. Alright. - You did it. There you go.

Okay, alright. Gina?

D-do you want me to get you a pillow?

Where am I gonna put it, man?

Where am I gonna put it?

- Tommy, get on away from me. - I'm going.

Okay.

The company is sending somebody over at noon to get you out.

Oh, that's perfect. Yeah.

My meeting doesn't start until 1 o'clock. Yes. Whoo!

Alright, Gina. You don't want to get a-head of yourself.

Y'all got one more head joke up in here, and.. Ugh! I swear!

Okay, alright. I also called work.

And the client has to leave early

so the meeting's been pushed up to00.

What? No, no.

That only leaves me to a half hour.

How can I make that, Pam?

Look, baby, listen. All you got to do is call in sick.

You tell them you got a headache this big, baby.

Come on, and it's just spinning on you.

- Just spinning. - Okay, guys, alright.

That only leaves us with one choice.

Man, here you go. Here.

What the.. What the hell, man?

You just-you just happen to have a blowtorch with you.

I need this for work, man.

You ain't got no job, man.

Alright, look, okay, just-just get her out of that damn thing.

Please, man.

I don't know about this.

Hey, hey, hey, don't worry, you know, just relax.

I know what I'm doing.

No!

There. Oh, good.

Damn thing is still around her neck.

Come on, Martin, I got as close as I could, man.

- I didn't wanna burn her. - Look..

Y'all got to get this thing off of me.

Come on, Gina, you can barely notice it.

Alright, or at least you can get through the damn door now.

To go where, Tommy?

I look like I'm wearing a car wreck.

Man, I'm gonna lose my job.

No, no, baby, look, it's not that bad.

Gina, baby, it kind of looks like designer jewelry, baby.

Don't it, Pam? Don't it look like it's flowing on her.

- Designer jewelry. - Yeah.

Yeah, designer jewelry, yeah.

I-I think I saw Jada Pinkett

rock in something like that at, um...

That's it.

'She did wear it.'

- S-she did it for real, y'all? - 'Hell yeah!'

Gina, she did, Yes.

Gina, you wear this with pride, baby.

Remember, you are a Nubian princess.

Remember this baby came from the hills of North Africa.

Bam! Right?

Maybe, maybe I can play this off.

You know, I mean, if it's good enough for Jada Pinkett

it's good enough for me.

Well, you bet.

You know what, Gina? I think I'mma get me one.

You know, personally, Gina.

Girl, all eyes are gonna be on you.

I do look good, don't I? I mean, what y'all think?

Oh, baby.

- Gina. - Yeah.

I think we lied, baby.

All this look torn up, Gina.

This is raggedy all around your neck.

And we can't let you go out like that, girl.

Why'd you hype up like that?

- What am I gonna do, y'all. - You know what, Gina?

Hey, maybe-maybe we can use something to cover it up, huh?

That's right! All you got to do, baby, hide it for the meeting.

Hey, try my scarf. That's a good idea.

- 'Try my scarf.' - Baby, be careful.

Shake the fleas out first, please.

Man, what have you got on her..

I don't want gnats on her neck just biting at her.

Okay, look at me, What do y'all think?

- No. - No!

You know, we need something bigger, man.

- Something that'll drape. - That's r.. Hey, hey, hey.

Let's try this Indian blanket.

- There we go. - Yes, I hope this works. Okay.

- Ha! There you go. - Oh!

What do y'all think? It kinda matches this maroon.

- Oh, baby! Baby. - Yeah.

Now you can tell 'em you got Indian in your family.

Well, unh-unh. Don't even try.

Y'all are stupid. She looks like choker harness.

Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. You know..

We're gonna need somethin' thick and dark to cover it.

Yeah, we're gonna need something thick and dark to cover it.

Yeah. Uh..

Give me a little bit of your back fur.

Snatch it off, so I can put it right around here.

Um, well, can I get anyone some more coffee

croissants, magazines?

Oaks, I thought you wanted my account.

Where's this Gina? Doesn't she know I've got money to spend?

Well, sir, she-she--

Oh, I'm-I'm sure Gina will be here any minute.

I believe she's in the ladies room

getting her head together.

Well, if she wants to get ahead in this business

she better learn how to be on time.

Now I've got a plane to catch. I'm outta here.

Oh, Mr. Whitaker, please, please. Just two minutes.

Two minutes. That's all.

I am so sorry I'm late.

You're looking great, you're looking great

you're looking darling. Your hair is a musk.

Darling, please, I will hook you up with my beautician later.

Mr. Oaks, so sorry I'm late.

Young lady, what do you want? There's a meeting going on here.

Yes, I-I know, Mr. Oaks, it's me, Gina Payne.

Gina?

Mr. Whitaker, just one minute please.

- Mr. Whitaker, I-- - Come, come. There.

Oh, is it a new hair fizz.

It's over. I love that hair, girl.

Gina, don't you realize that this is the most important

meeting of your career?

Yes, Mr. Oaks, I can handle that.

I'm giving you visual, darling.

- I'm giving you all of me. - I want it all!

Okay, okay, I'm gonna do this, okay?

- You better. - Let's do it. Okay.

- She's gonna do it. - After you.

Okay, let's get started, shall we?

But first, how's everybody doing?

Oaks, what are you running here?

Is this a presentation or a Diana Ross concert?

Sir, sir, excuse me, I heard that.

This is a presentation.

And by the way, since you mentioned Diana Ross, you know

you remind me a little bit of

Billy Dee Williams in "Mahogany."

Well, flattery will get you everywhere.

You go and do that presentation.

There you are, Billy, I mean, Mr. Whitaker.

So we feel a shift in your marketing strategies

will result in better sales and greater profits.

I'm sorry, your hair was in the way.

Can I see that last chart again?

Oh, sure. I'm so sorry.

What the hell?

So in conclusion, shifting your advertising from TV to radio

will double your sales, thank you.

Wonderful.

Ha! Strong J. Strong J!

You want me to help you clean out your office?

Yeah.

Mr. Whitaker, I assure you, I had nothing to do with this.

That's too bad, Oaks, 'cause I liked it.

- You did? - Yeah, I did.

- You liked my presentation? - Yeah!

But what I really liked was how you kept talking

like you didn't know you had that headboard around your neck.

Is that a Nefertiti 2000.

Yes, how did you know that?

Same thing happened to me and my wife a couple of years ago.

Oh, we was getting our freak on.

That is very interesting, sir. But did we get the account?

I'll tell you, anyone who's got enough gumption to stand here

talking with a headboard around their neck is someone

I wanna do business with.

- You've got our account. - Yes.

Thank you, thank you so much, Mr. Whitaker.

I always said she had a good head on her shoulders.

Mr. Whitaker, can I talk you for a minute?

Um, your wife, how'd she this thing off?

Get it off?

I'm just kidding.

I'll give you the number of our welder.

- Thank you so much. - Pleasure..

- Oh, I'm proud of you, Gina. - Thank you.

Baby, it took guts to go out there like that.

'Cause, baby, you was a wreck up from the neck up.

I know, Martin, but I'm just glad

it's all over and it worked out.

Girl, I'm just glad we got that extended warranty.

Yeah, who you telling.

I set up your new headboard.

Now sign these papers and let me get out of here.

Well, you and your attitude, man.

- I know. - ...I tell you, did you?

Did you hook it up the way we wanted it, man?

Yeah, this one is thickly padded and we bolted it to the wall

and even you two can't break it.

Eh, on second thought, maybe I better go to the shop

and get some more bolts.

Man.

Man, just step, okay, just step.

Yeah, please. Step, please.

Alright, look.

Now let's go back in the bedroom

and pick up...where we left off.

Oh, no, Martin, forget that. Unh-unh.

Come on, Gina. Baby, the same thing can't happen twice.

That's right, Martin. We're not even gonna go there.

Your head wasn't the one stuck in a bed, alright?

Alright, look, don't worry, okay.

I got us some protectionister.

Ba-da!

I'm about to tackle you, you little..

Alright, y'all.