Original subtitles

Alright, alright. Now, that's too much makeup.

I'm not trying to look like Latoria. Please.

Man, hey, man, I'm telling you, man.

You don't know who you sweatin'.

Me and Martin are boys. Now, go ahead and ask him.

I saw him sneak in through the back door.

- Should I call security? - Nah, he is cool.

Let him cheer. He's cool.

That's right. Now, back up off me, schlam.

Back up! Stay out that way.

- What's up? - Whoo! Hey, man.

He do take his job little too seriously, Martin man.

Come on! He act like he you's.

- He ain't no star. - Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Cole, he is doing his job like he is supposed to.

It's like you're supposed to be doing yours.

- So, wassup, man? - Ah, man, took the day off.

You know, came down here to support my boy.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Cool. Good looking out. You saw it as cool

'cause you can't afford to lose no job, Cole.

Man, please. I'm way smarter than my boss.

Look, I called in sick today, right.

Told him I had the 24-hour walking Ebola.

And if he believes that they should fire him, right?

So, wassup? What, you gonna kick it backstage with me?

- Or in the audience? - No.

I think I'm gonna kick it in the audience.

I saw a fig honey down front.

Wait a minute. I saw a baby, too.

She was so big, she was sitting next to everybody.

Wassup? Welcome to "Word On The Street."

I'm your host, Martin Payne.

And today's topic

"parents who are more down than the kids."

Let's meet the Duke family.

Hi, I am Daisy.

Hello, I'm Luke.

These are their parents. Ma and Pa Duke.

What up, money grip?

What's happening, home skillet?

Right on. Okay, well, look.

Y'all are more down than your kids.

I mean, wassup with that?

Well, it's like this, homie.

When me and ma had these kids

we didn't think they was gonna turn out

to be straight-up suckers.

Damn right, Snoop.

Wu-Tang, Biggie!

I love 'em, they straight busters.

Whoa! Wait a minute. Well, these are your kids.

Don't you think you're being a little hard on them?

Yeah! That's how we feel, Martin.

I mean, we think our parents

should be listening to Chubby Checker

or Johnny Mathis. People like that.

Ain't nobody trying to listen to them lyrics.

Word! I mean, come on! How you supposed

tootsie roll asking Johnny Mathis?

- You know what I'm saying? - 'Yes.'

Ma Duke, hey!

Hey! Ma Duke, go!

Cole! Get over there.

Sit down! Come on now.

My bad, my bad. I will be chilling right here

in the audience, Ma Duke.

Now you see there, Martin?

We can't take them anywhere

without them embarrassing us.

Y'all be embarrassing us, too.

Sitting over there, looking like you're straight

out of "Happy Days."

Wow! What about the way you were dancing all wild with that man?

Y'all bugging. I don't mind

if my G-pot is with somebody else.

Word up. 'Cause me and my shorty, we down like dibs.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Got a question.

We're not ready to go to the audience yet, Cole.

Martin, come on, man. I'm getting bored.

- Let me ask some question, man. - Man!

Alright, make it quick, man.

Alright, alright. This is for the parents.

Excuse me. Who your favorite rapper?

Well, you know, L.L. is hot as hell, QMoD is alright with me.

And Wu-Tang be doing their thing.

A'ight, a'ight. Too bad, too bad.

Let me, let me ask one other question.

Nah, no more questions, Cole.

Now we gotta go to the phones.

Caller, are you there?

Who do you wanna talk to, the parents or the kids?

'Neither. I wanna talk to the fool in the audience'

'asking all those stupid questions.'

What, fool? Oh, he mean me. He talking about me.

Aye, aye, yeah, yeah, go ahead. It's me, Cole. Go ahead.

'Cole, this is your boss, Mr. Practor.'

'I just called to tell you, you're fired.'

- Whoa! - Oh!

Y-you're breaking up. I can't hear you.

He said, "You're fired, Cole. You're fired."

Gina, look, I really appreciate

you giving me this odd job, you know.

Brother got bills to pay.

Oh, please. I'm just sorry you're fired, Cole.

Girl, shoot it. It ain't your fault, you know?

I'm just worried about my boss though.

I don't think he gonna give me no recommendation.

I was worried nobody else gonna hire me, you know?

Cole, somebody will hire you.

- I mean, you're kind of smart. - Yes.

And you are...you don't look for trouble

trouble just kinda finds you.

Yeah, well. Gina, I'm just glad that

I got friends like you that got my back.

You know what I'm saying? I mean, you, Tommy and Pam

y'all came through for a brother, you know

and I ain't gonna let y'all down, I promise.

Hey, hey. That's what friends are for, okay?

Okay, now look. You say you want the ceiling fan in the bathroom?

The bedroom, Cole.

The bedroom, left, left, Cole. Left, Cole! Left!

Where is Cole? I'mma kill him.

- Cole! - Pam, what is wrong with you?

I hired that fool to drain my water bed

and now I've got an indoor pool.

Well, maybe it wasn't his fault.

He used a knife, Gina.

You would not believe what Cole did to this time.

Yes, I would. You should see my water bed.

Where is this Forrest Chump?

Cole, Cole, Cole, Cole, I-I paid you, right?

- To wash my car. - Uh-huh.

You yank out my damn radio.

Let me see that, Tommy.

Oh, damn! My bad.

- I thought it was a pull-out. - Give me that.

No wonder it got all them wires hanging out and stuff.

Cole, come here. I'm sorry, y'all.

Hey, Cole, you put up my ceiling fan already?

Girl, I was, till the fire broke out.

You know, I'm serious. That's why I came out choking.

You know, sparks flying everywhere.

Wh-what fire, Cole?

Uh, girl, don't worry about it.

Your bed ain't burning no-no more.

- Hey! Whoa! Whoa! - Whoa!

What the hell is going on here?

I'm about to put your boy in a hospital.

He can't go in a hospital.

He doesn't have any benefits.

He got fired, remember?

Yeah, he been messing up ever since.

Oh, so, it's like that. That's cool.

That's cool. I thought y'all was my peeps.

Y'all ain't gonna have Cole to kick around no more.

- Man! - Ah!

You see how sad this is? Why'd y'all do a brother like that?

Martin, look. We have done the best we can

for that brother, to help him out.

Now, it's your turn.

Why are y'all looking at me like I owe him some?

I didn't get him fired.

- He was on your show. - 'Hm-hm'.

Hey, hey, don't be putting that on me, Tommy.

Ain't nobody told him to be tootsie rolling with Ma Duke.

I didn't tell him all that.

That's your boy. You gotta get that boy a job, Martin.

Something simple, somewhere where he won't be

tearing up stuff.

Plus, Martin. Didn't you say you needed

somebody to help you out down at the station?

I said help me out, Gina. Not put me out of business, baby.

Look, Martin. It doesn't take a genius to work in TV.

Now, be for real. I mean, look at you.

And it doesn't take a genius

to catch a Frisbee in your mouth now, does it?

Queenie, huh?

- Pam! No, Pam! - Ah!

Pam, let him go.

- Think about my water bed, yo. - Come on, Pam. Let him go.

Get off me, Pam. Get off me.

- Pam! Pam! Come on, Pam. - Get off. Get off.

- Say, please. - Get off me.

- Say, please. - Get off me.

I want you to look at my waterbed.

- Martin. - Get off me.

Now, come on now. The bottom line is

you gotta help that brother out, okay?

H-his heart is in the right places.

His mind is just somewhere else.

Gina, all y'all are crazy, okay?

It'll be a Cole dang hell before he Cole works for me.

Look, Cole. I know it's cold outside.

I want you to take these boxes to the dumpster.

- Check. - No, no, man.

All of 'em. Everyone of 'em, man.

Okay, got it. Got it. Look, man. Thanks a lot

for hooking me up with a job, okay?

I promise you, I will not let you down, man.

I'mma be your eyes, your ears, I got your back.

Just do your job like you're supposed to.

Use your best judgment.

- And, hey, it's all good. - Okay.

'Cause, Cole, when I blow up..

Baboom!

...you blow up.

- Alright, hey, hey, Cole. - 'Hmm?'

Get to that dumpster.

Okay.

"So, when I blow up, you blow up."

Excuse me. Yo, Gene.

Yeah, you, slam. Come here.

'Come on.'

Do you know who I am?

I'm Cole, Martin's new assistant.

Yeah. So, what I want you to do is take these bo..

Just put your hands up, come on, come on.

Take these boxes, thank you, and put 'em in the dumpster.

Yeah, and look here.

Do a good job, okay? 'Cause..

...when I blow up, baboom! You blow up.

A'ight?

You feel me? You feel me? Aye, man, aye.

Get to the dumpster. Go ahead!

Elvin, what is the hold up?

Why hasn't the show started yet, man?

I got big things riding on this.

'Come on, man. We gotta get the show moving.'

You looking for me?

What's happening, Sir Charles?

So glad you could make it on the show, man.

It's all good. I'm glad to be here.

- Yeah. - I think your show's fly.

Ah, thank you, man. Thank you. What did you bring me?

Autographed ball? A jersey?

Oh, I know. I know. The championship, right?

Oh, my bad. my bad. I'm gonna have to say

all starry, all starry!

- Hey, lemme ask you something. - Yeah.

We get on the air, you're not gonna

talk about my personal business, are you?

Oh, no, man. I don't get into all in all that.

I ain't messing with you on that.

But let me ask you about the Nike commercials.

How much they paying?

I was thinking about getting me one.

You know me?

I don't know if I can get you one

but I did bring you something.

Oh, snap!

To-to-to the-to the the All-Star game?

Oh, man. Front row seats, man.

Are you gonna be playing or you gonna be watching it with me?

Nah, nah. I'm just messing with you, bud.

- Oh! Oh! - I'm just messing with you too.

Those are the tickets to last year's game.

Hell no! Oh, ho!

Sir Charles got jokes in him.

You a comedian now, huh?

Look, I tell you what. My assistant Cole

he's gonna take care of you, whatever you need.

We gonna treat you like royalty, 'cause anything else

would be uncivilized. Alright?

Now I gotta make surey sure they get this show

running right now. Excuse me for a second, Charles.

Let's go, guys, are we wrapping it up?

- Let's move it. - Hey, dude. I said no pork.

Hey, watcha guys doing?

Hope you brothers looking through the Wanted Ads

'cause if Martin catches you lounging

you're gonna be unemployed!

Excuse me. Are you Cole? I'm Charles Barkley.

Great! Want a biscuit?

Look, if you're looking for somebody

to be all over your jock shows

I ain't the one. I work for Martin.

Excuse me, brother. I just want to get you

a clip from the movie.

Uh, ain't nobody wanna hear about no movie, Charles. Look.

People want scandal, dirt

the real Sir Charles. You know what I mean?

Martin said we're not gonna talk about my personal business.

He told you that?

Look, Charles. If you come on Martin's show

you're getting clammed.

- Oh, is that right? - Yep.

Well, you tell Martin to find himself another sucker.

Well, go on then, Charles.

Beat it. Fast break out of here.

Just write this. Yeah, baby.

- We gonna have a bomb show. - That's right, baby.

Guess what? Did you take care of Sir Charles?

Yeah, I took care of him and I told him get to steppin'.

You ain't stepping him, are you?

Hey, you ain't tell no Sir Charles to get to steppin'.

Man, please. I told him he had to roll.

Look, don't worry about it. I took care of it.

I still got us a guest.

I booked the Rapping Chihuahua's gig.

Love them.

You booked the Rapping Chihuahuas?

Man, all of them.

I'm about to wrap my foot around your neck.

That was Sir Charles.

Hey, look, you don't understand. This is an emergency.

Look, we had Charles Barkley booked on the show today

and I lost him.

Okay, well, look. Tell Stony Jackson I'll give

him anything he wants.

What do you mean he is not available?

What about the kid who played Michael on "Good Times?"

The boy was singing and everything.

Damn! Everybody is busy, man.

Found him, Martin.

- Where was he? - In the bathroom stall.

Brother was actually trying to flush himself down the toilet.

- It's cool. It's cool. - For real. Get your..

Come on. I bench-press too.

- I know you're mad at me. - Look, I'm beyond mad, Cole.

When the show is over, so is your job.

Look, look, Martin. I know I messed up, man.

- But things ain't that bad. - It ain't that bad?

Cole, man, this is a talk show.

I don't have nobody to talk to, Cole.

Who'd I talk to? Here? And here, here.

Shoot that, Martin, but look, please don't stress, man.

Please, alright, look. I got us into this. I can get us out.

If you really wanna make a difference, Cole..

Yeah. Yeah.

...step.

Well, I guess this be a bad time to talk about that raise, huh?

Man, how you gonna come at me about--

Oh, you better hope this is Stony Jackson

or that's your ass.

Hello!

- Stony! - Whoo!

Hey, whoo! Wassup, man?

Okay, uh.. We were just trying to get in touch--

You know, tell Stony to call--

Man, please! Yeah. Well..

I hope y'all enjoying the show.

I wanna thank the brother who just left the stage.

Please give it up for Stony Jackson.

One more time. I said, Stony Jackson.

Al-alright, Martin. You the man, baby.

You bigger than my tail, dawg.

Yeah, Martin. I know how the show got Stony.

Yeah, right on! Hey!

Well, if y'all like Stony, you gonna love my next guest.

How many of y'all like Ice Cube?

Well, Ice Cube ain't here.

- 'Yeah, yeah.' - Oh!

But it is all good. We got us somebody just as fly.

Look. I want y'all to give it up for the world renowned

Ice Pick, the rapping chihuahua.

Hustle man.

Nah, you talking about my Uncle Byron.

I'm a dog trainer, chief.

Look, Hustle man. We're on live TV, man.

Word, since this is live, let me get a shoutout

to the rest of the Hustle family.

What's up, Hustle mom? My little Hustle-lettes.

- Daddy love you.. - Alright, look, look.

I hear Ice Pick just got off tour.

Nah, yeah. We just did the hot new remix for

"Casey And The Sunshine Band."

He just droppin' in. Know what I'm sayin'?

We still ain't get paid for that yet.

You know what I'm saying? We want our money, Casey.

As you know, Pick just got out of lockdown here

a little domestic dispute.

Oh!

Oh, yeah. Little domestic dispute.

- What's up with that? - Well, you know how it is.

This little poodle he living with be bugging out on him.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Well, what's Ice Pick gonna do for us today?

Well, he's gonna do his latest release for y'all.

The way he's sniffing around stage

he better not release on stage. You know?

Okay, well, let's see what he got, see what he got.

Hey, Hustle man.

'The damn dog ain't doing nothing, man.'

I mean, don't panic, chief. Don't panic.

You know what I'm saying? We just flew in

from this Soul Train Awards.

He got a little pet lag.

I'm gonna.. Come on. Hold him for a minute.

Yeah, talk to the dog.

I know they're paying us no real money, but come on, baby.

You gotta do something, Pick.

It's either this or back to the dog pound, chief.

- Now, come on and rap, baby. - Man, please.

The damn dog couldn't rap a gif.

- Now, what's up with the dog? - Aye, man. He is fly.

You know what I'm saying, some time he do be flying.

But if you give me a minute, I gotta cockroach in the car

that can pop lop better than a rerun.

Just take your non-rapping Chihuahua, Hustle man.

And please, leave the stage.

How about I flee like a moon walk?

Please, take the non-rapping Chihuahua

and just roll, man. Step!

We still getting paid for this though, right?

Man, just step.

Man, step.

Well, that's our show for today.

Tune in tomorrow if we're still here.

I'm Martin Payne sayin'..

I don't know. Peace out, y'all.

Got me for 'em.. Dawg!

Hey! Wassup, y'all? You're just in time

to get one of my new business cards.

You take that one. You take that one.

- And you take that one. - "Cole Brown. The man."

"Assistant to Martin Payne."

- Yeah, yeah. - Cole!

I hope you didn't pay for these things yet.

Nope, and I'm glad I didn't need it.

'Cause I gotta change that to Cole, Super producer.

Wait, Cole. I don't know what you gonna be producing.

I just saw Martin backstage ripping

a payphone out the wall.

Yeah, he even surprised me.

I didn't know little man could reach that high.

Hey, Cole, if I were you, I'd get to packing, bro.

- Yup. Here you go. - Shoot.

I ain't worried about nothing, once Martin sees

the ratings, he'll calm down.

Cole, what show were you watching, baby?

The Chihuahua didn't do jack.

Obviously, you don't know Martin like I know him, a'ight?

Come on, man. When the man come through the door

he gots to give me my props, please.

Shoot.

Wassup, Marty Mar? Wassup?

Cole, what're you still doing here?

I'm just getting ready for tomorrow's show.

You should be getting ready for the meeting.

See, I told you he was gonna be cool.

What meeting you're talking about, partner?

The meeting between my foot and your ass.

Wait!

Babe. Wait a minute. Don't be a stupid.

Martin, wait a minute, wait, wait.

Now, maybe we should go.

Okay, look, look, look. Hey, Cole.

Don't worry about it, alright?

Man, look.

If you can't find any work

I'll put in a good word for you in my job, man.

You ain't got no job, man.

- I'll put in the word for you. - Okay.

You know, Cole. Outta everything you've done to me, man

this has gotta be the worst.

Can't believe how you're doing this to me, man.

I'm supposed to be your boy.

Look, Martin. Come on, man. Look, I know I messed up, man

but I got a surprise for you.

Only thing I'm surprised about Cole

is that I ain't hurt you yet, man.

That's the only thing I'm surprised about.

That's cool. Yeah, it's just like that, huh?

I'll just go ahead and pack my bags.

I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity

to get fired. I mean--

Now, now, Cole, Cole.

Don't try to soft talk your way outta this, man.

Okay, fine. I'm outta here.

I guess, I better call Charles Barkley back

and tell him not to come tomorrow.

Oh, there you go again, after everything you did

now you're gonna say that loud right in my face, man?

Martin, no, no. I'm serious. I got him back.

You got Charles Barkley back on the show?

Yeah.

Well, if you did it, how did you do it, Cole?

No big thing, I just made Sir Charles a little promise.

What kinda promise?

Welcome to "Word On The Street"

starring me, Charles Barkley.

Well my first guest is the regular host of the show.

Please welcome Martin Payne.

Why, y'all!

Wassup, man?

Wassup? Alright, alright.

Don't take this hosting thing too serious.

'Cause you ain't gonna be here that long.

It's only for a week, Charles.

That's cool, but right now, I got a show to do.

Anything you wanna say to your fans?

Yeah, I like to say something to my fans.

Especially the number one fan of mine. Cole!

Got four words for you.

Un-em-ploy-ment.

- Say, please, say, please. - Get off. Get off.

Hey, get off me.

Get off me.

I guess, it's not a good time.

- Get off him, Pam. - Get off me.

Get off me. Your breath!

- You don't know me. - Get off me. Get off me.

Oh, my!

- Martin, Martin. - Come on!

- Oh, my! - Martin!

- I got a skirt. - Pam has got..