Original subtitles

No, no, no, I don't want the same old show on a new set.

Look, I want a classy show.

Book the Rappin' Chihuahuas.

Get them down here, okay?

Book them for me, alright?

Shoot!

'I heard you was runnin' things.'

'I see you're still running your mouth.'

Man, say what?

Oh man!

Biggie Smalls in the house.

What's happening, baby-baby?

What's up, dawg? Long time. What's up?

- Man, what's goin' on? - Oh, man. You're the man.

You're the man. If I had your hands, I'd cut mines off.

Then you wouldn't be able to count all that money.

That loot you makin', man.

And if you don't know, now you know.

That's right, that's right. Grab a seat, man.

- Let's talk. - What's up?

So, wha-what brings you to town, man?

I'm looking for a background singer

to go on the road with me.

That ain't gonna be no problem, man.

Mo-town!

The only problem is, tryin' to find

a whole tongue when nobody don't know me.

You know, I be havin' that same problem, man

when I go places, man.

People be, knowin' me like, come on.

Last joint I was in, honey snuck up in my spot

with a demo tape while I was on the toilet.

Oh, isn't that why you hit it like that?

Oh, man.

You know, come on, let him move that, let him move that!

You know, look man, I tell you. You shouldn't have

no more problems, so, why don't you come and stay

with me and my wife, Gina.

- Your wife? - Yeah.

You got married and didn't invite me to the weddin'?

Oh, well, shoot! That's a long story.

But, since you makin' loot

you could still give us a gift, alright? Come on.

Yeah, I'll see if I can find some woman--

I ain't tryin' to impose on y'all like that. It's cool.

Man, you ain't gonna be imposing.

You're like family, man. It's cool.

You sure Gina ain't gonna be trippin'?

Look, Gina don't trip.

I tell her, Gina, "Hey, hey, hey, hey!"

You know, "Hush all that, hush all that."

'Cause I'm Big Papa in my house!

Thank you man.

'Ah, ha ha.'

Yo, I know you said Gina ain't gonna be trippin'.

At least let me take you out on a dinner

or somethin', it's cool.

Oh, no, man, I won't hear of it.

Look, Biggie, what you need is a home cooked meal, man.

Okay, look I got this. Let, let me just go in

and make sure my wife is decent.

Make sure she got on her drawers, you know.

And everything's cool, everything is cool.

Boo-boo, are you home?

Hey. Hey, baby. I was just in the back taking a nap.

Well, girl, wipe that crust out your mouth

and gimme the luscious, gimme the luscious.

- Hey. - Wow, hey.

- What's for dinner? - Oh, baby, I had a long day.

I was hoping we could go out to eat.

Gina, restaurant food, girl, that stuff will kill you.

No, no, baby, I was hopin' maybe you could

cook up a lil' somethin' for me and a partner

who gonna be staying here with us for about a week.

Wait, what? Whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute, Martin. Rewind that.

- What? - Wh-what are you talkin' about?

Somebody's gonna stay here with us for a week?

- So you cool with that? - What?

Baby, I never thought you would be so cool with that.

- Martin! - Yeah, what?

- Martin? - What?

You just can't invite any old body up in here.

You just can't invite anybody in..

Hey!

Why, you didn't tell me you knew Biggie Smalls!

Come on in here, man. You know what? I was just about to cook.

Gina, what happened to goin' out to eat?

Oh, man. Restaurant food will kill you, man!

Y'all want some Spaghetti O's, put some shrimp in?

I could hook it up!

That's my baby, man, that's my baby.

Well, ain't nothin' like a home cooked meal, man.

Them shrimps was bangin'. Thanks for all that.

That's right and you ate all

the shrimps that we had, Biggie.

- Baby! - What?

Don't be rude to our guest, give me that.

It's cool, Gina. Me and Dumbo over here

we've been doing this since we were kids.

Oh, he flowed on my ears.

It's okay, baby. Where'd y'all meet, anyway?

Well, you know, babe, I used to be on a wrestling team, yeah.

- Yeah - What?

Ah-ha, a lot of people don't know that. Just slam.

Bam. Yeah, you know being on the wrestling team.

But one day, I looked Across the mat.

Saw Biggie.

So, basketball's been my sport ever since.

Yeah, if that's not good, we can take it to the court right now.

I think I could take you on with

the street clothes on, baby.

Man, you ain't sayin' nothin about the thing.

- Let's make it happen. - Let me get the ball.

Gina, that's a nice little voice you've got there.

What's that, a little Anita Baker right there?

What? You're just sayin' that

'cause you like my cookin'. Boy, stop.

No, you should do somethin' with your singing, you could blow.

- What? - No doubt.

- Hold that thought. Baby? - 'Yeah.'

Honey, did you hear what Biggie said about my voice?

He said that I sound like the next Anita Baker.

And you do.

Especially last night when you hit that high note.

Yeah, you don't remember that high note?

Especially, when I was giving you the best that I got?

Nasty!

- Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey! - Hey, what's up?

- Oh, snap! - Yeah, yeah. Hey..

- Oh, my goodness! - Biggie.

This is my best friend here, Tommy.

And this is man's best friend, Pam.

Whatever, Air Jordan. Step to the rear, step to the rear.

How you doin'? Nice to meet you.

Wait, what should I call you?

I love it when they call me "Big Papa."

- Oh. - You know, you know what?

I love your work, brother.

I mean, I love that you just, you just changed

that whole rap thing, man.

Can't touch this!

- No! - What?

- No, man! - What?

No, that's Biggie Smalls, man.

- That's Hammer. - Oh.

We had Hammer on the show last year.

My bad, bro.

Uh, excuse me, Biggie.

Uh, anyway, we was about to go out, play some basketball.

You wanna go roll, you wanna hoop, what?

Hey, I'm down, dawg, I might get the car.

- Alright. - Let's roll, man.

- Alright, man - Hey.

Baby, we're gonna go out shoot couple of hoops.

You know, shoot around, whatever.

Uh, Pam? You wanna roll with us?

We can use a mascot.

- Baby, love you. - You know what, brother.

I really, really enjoyed you in that film..

Krush Groove! Whatever happened to them other two fat boys?

No!

The one that three of 'em were fat.

That was the...no!

That's Biggie Smalls!

Yo, what was Biggie Smalls just doin' in your livin' room?

Chillin', girl. He's in town lookin'

for a new background singer.

Word? Well, how can I be down in one of 'em auditions?

Don't even go there, Pam.

Martin already told me not to bother him.

Since when did I start listening to Martin, Gina?

He's only lookin' for professionals.

Although, he did say that I had a great singin' voice.

- Oh, really? - Yes.

Oh, that's because he never heard me sing.

Well, he did say that I was the next Anita Baker!

Well, maybe Anita Faker.

Excuse me, I'm sorry. I didn't quite hear that.

- What was that? - No, I'm, I was just sayin'.

You know, you got a cute little voice for

nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh around the house.

But we both know who's the real undiscovered diva here.

Well, if you call Nipsey's tootsie roll champ a diva

then go ahead with your bad self!

- You know, that's not fair. - Whatever!

That was a great triumph for me!

Whatever, Pam. You know..

Okay, okay.

What're we doin' here? We're best friends.

Why are we arguing like this?

Yeah, we are, I mean, that's right.

We are two mature adults

and we should not be actin' like kids.

Right. Come on.

Mm.

Anyway..

...Pam, you know, don't tell anybody.

I mean, anybody that Biggie's stayin' up here.

Oh, please, child. I ain't gonna tell nobody.

I'm serious.

Now, you know, there'll be all kinds of people

tryin' to get up in our house!

Gina, how long have we known each other?

You can trust me.

And besides, who am I gonna tell?

Girl, you gotta promise not to say nothin'!

But I'm about to go on tour with Biggie Smalls!

- Ah! The Notorious B-I-G? - Mm-hmm, yeah!

Ooh, he's stayin' at Martin and Gina's house?

- He sure is, girl. - Wait, where the auditions at?

Biggie Smalls? Man, why don't you stop frontin'?

Say what? Biggie's at Martin's?

Well, alright.

...Biggie Smalls in his house?

And he's lookin' for a white rapper?

Oh, I gets to call all my homies!

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yo, there got to be like 3000 people out there, man.

Yeah, they finally figured out where I live.

Oh, man.

Now, now I know what Michael Jackson goes through, man.

Yeah, I wonder how the word got out, man.

Everybody and their mother out there trying to audition.

How's everybody doin' in there?

Okay. Alright, Gina, that dress is fly.

Oh, this ol' thing? Stop.

Old thing, my ass, Gina.

I'm still payin' on this dress.

And where are you goin' with it on?

Nowhere, Martin. This is just my, um, dustin' dress.

Well, if-if ya'll need me, I'll be right over here.

Dustin'.

So, Biggie, h-how are your auditions comin'?

Why you wanna know, Gina? You are not auditionin'.

No, I'm not. I did not say that. No.

Um, I was just makin' conversation.

I'll be right over here dustin'.

Everybody wants to be a star.

Yo, there's a lot more to it than just singin' though.

You gotta have the moves, the stamina--

Ain't that the truth!

You know what?

I just hate it when people..

...stand there all stiff. You gotta be able to work it.

- Gina, Gina! - What?

What the hell is all of this?

What is all of this?

- Nothing, baby. - Have you been drinkin'?

- No! - Let me see you in the back.

- Alright. I'm comin'. - You, all of this.

Biggie, excuse us.

We're gonna slow it down just a taste right now.

But don't you worry, we'll be right back. Alright.

What's up, baby, baby?

What's up, man. I'm Coley Cole, one of Martin's partners, yeah.

Oh, man, alright. It's cool.

I thought you was somebody runnin' up here

for another audition, man.

Auditions?

No, man. Come on.

But..

...since you did bring it up

I do have a little act.

And it goes...a little of somethin' like this. Hit it!

Oh, yeah. Hahaha.

I'm gonna take you back, baby. Watch it, watch it now.

Ha ha!

And I'm Marty Martin and I like to say

get your ass up outta here.

Cole, man!

Man, we're supposed to be partners here.

Partner, what you doin' on the audition?

Oh, man!

Biggie, everybody's buggin' 'cause you're here, man.

Yo, I don't think I'm gonna be able to find a place

to hold these auditions, man.

Man, please, this is Detroit.

- Home of the Motown sound. - That was like 30 years ago.

Oh. Oh, oh, okay. You got me. Right.

Well, anyway, man, uh, you..

I'm sure you'll find who you're lookin' for.

Why don't you have the auditions on my show?

Thought you had a talk show.

Yeah, yeah, but what I'm sayin' is, I turn

my talk show into like a club kinda thing.

We hold all the baddest auditions there.

You get your singer, boom! My show will be slammed!

- I'm with it. - You in?

Now, how are we gettin' up out of here

with all the people outside?

Bam, bam, there it is.

We just saddle up Pam and just gallop right through..

Gallop right through the crowd.

- Right through there. - Whatever!

Arsenio Small.

- Get out my way! - Yeah, I'm--

- Get out of my way! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- What's up, Biggie? - What's up.

You know, I just came over to say hello

to my girlfriend, Gina.

How about I call her?

What's up, girl?

I heard you the first time, Phony Braxton.

What?

Hold up, ya'll. Cut it now. Stop with the--

Yo, you all do your business out here.

I'm going to handle my business in the bathroom.

Alright, well there's a couple of magazines in there..

- I know what you're doin'. - Excuse me!

- My man is talking! Shut up! - I know what you're doin'.

I know what ya'll are doin'

and it ain't goin' down like that.

Baby, she called me Anita Faker.

Well, you called me Phony Braxton!

Well, you can get one more girl

and you'll be phony, phony, phony.

- But, Martin-- - No, Gina. No, Gina.

Ain't no ands, ifs or buts about it.

Now, we're gonna have the auditions on my show

and you and Pam will not be there.

Am I straight on that?

I'd say, am I straight on that?

Yeah!

- Whatever! Whatever! - Yep.

It's open!

Would you go ask the man if I got the part?

You're gonna a have part of my foot in your ass!

Hey, get your..

What the hell is "She'll be comin' around the mountain

when she come, man?"

We were lookin' for backup singers

for the Biggie Smalls thing.

Give him another round of applause

with the apples.

'Okay, well, he'll be coming down the mountain when we come.'

Well, anyway, we wanna keep this show goin'.

We want you to keep that energy goin'.

Coming to the stage, I don't know this young lady

and so I doubt it if you know her yourself.

Give it up, for a young lady.

They said she's a bad vocalist.

Give it up for Jontina..

...Turner!

Get out of my way!

You know the song that I'm about to do

for you reminds me of a place..

...where I grew up.

Yo, what's up with that, man?

Don't ya'll look at me!

Why not? You left the cage open.

Yo, bro, what is wrong with Gina, man?

I don't know, you went and told her

she was Anita Baker, man.

Let's give it up for--

Jontina Turner and--

Jontina Turner and the artist formerly known as my wife.

- You-- - What you--

Yeah!

Everyone wants to be a star.

Cole.

Would you ask Gina to hand me the remote, please?

Martin, come on.

I know we went overboard on your show.

But, baby, it's been a whole week.

Cole..

...remind Gina that I don't care

if it's been a whole week.

I still ain't saying nothing to her

or her little scoop-ball haired buddy..

...next to her.

Well, uh, I'm not talking to Gina or Pam.

So, uh, Tommy, would you please remind Gina

that, uh, he don't care if it's been over a whole week.

And that he ain't..

What-what'd you call her?

- Scoop? - Scoop-ball.

Scoopball. He ain't speaking to Scoopball.

Okay, wait, wait, wait. Cole, why aren't you speaking

to-to Gina or Scoopball?

Pam!

I'm sorry.

I don't know. Um, I was just flowing with y'all.

You know, the whole..

- Shut up, shut up! - ...not speaking thing..

You know, Martin, this is really stupid.

You get one. You get two.

Okay, I don't wanna hear it.

You clowned me in front of my boy, Biggie.

And you should know better. You done been to obedience school.

- ...jab one more time. - Chill, chill, chill.

Chill, whoever's not talking to each other

I can't even hear the TV, alright? Biggie's on.

'Thanks, Donnie. It was a tough decision'

'but I finally found a lady I needed.'

'Her voice is the bomb.'

'Introduce yourself to the world, Baby-baby.'

'Oh, my God!'

- No. - 'Oh, my God.'

I'm headed to the big town.

Oh! Oh, Biggie-Biggie, thank..

I wanna thank all the people that's involved.

Biggie-Biggie, baby-baby. Oh.

You was trying to step in..

- She's doing my song. - Um, um.

- She.. - No.

She did it better than you, though.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up.

Oh, my goodness.

First thing we need to do is, everybody get up off their seats

'cause we're about to flip this for real.

Yeah, check it out.