Original subtitles

- Good morning, Gina. - 'Hey.'

Put the cap up, it's time to go to work.

Alright, girl, let me get my stuff.

'Okay.'

- Oh, baby.. Yeah. - Hey, baby.

Baby, we just got this insurance brochure in the mail.

And I really think we should get some now that we're married.

Now, what we need is laundry insurance.

What the hell happen to my white shirt, Gina? Huh?

I ain't trying to get caught out there looking like Gumby.

What happened, baby?

No, no, Martin, you look more like a Ghetto Smurf.

See, I wasn't even talking to you.

Since it's time to eat why don't you hatch a few eggs?

You know how you do.

I didn't know there were so many different types of insurance.

Rest assured. Our policies cover everything.

From loss of limb..

...to an untimely demise.

Leaving the bereaved, shall we say..

...paid.

'...you get $50,000.'

Um, I hate to ask this, but..

...how much do we get if one of us should--

Die?

Yeah. You don't have to sound so happy about it.

- Whoa, that's a lot of money. - Yes, it is.

Unfortunately, we all have to go sometime.

But if it's an accident, you get paid double.

That Gina plotting to kill my boy?

You!

Get up!

Get your lil' naughty ass..

Y-you know you're a little up in age yourself

you might wanna take my card.

Ah-choo! Take this..

Ah!

Mrs. Payne, what is this all about?

Oh, don't play dumb with me, Gina.

You know damn well what this is all about.

You got too much head to be stupid.

Oh.

I get it. Oh, you're mad at me

because I don't know how to do Martin's laundry like you do?

You know, don't get flip with me, Gina.

I'll knock them damn teeth out your mouth.

Have you looking like a Halloween pumpkin. Pow!

Just stall it, Gina!

Look, I am doin' the best I can

to take care of Martin, okay?

What? Let me tell you something.

'Cause that's my boy, and when it comes down to my boy..

...you take care of him!

And you remember this!

Every move you make

every breath...you take

I'll be watching you!

Didn't even have the damn nerve to invite me to the wedding.

I'm still pissed about that!

Pam, I can't take it no more.

Martin's mother tries to run our lives and he just sits there.

He's not sitting, he's just short.

I'm serious, Pam.

You know, she, she makes him biscuits

she does his laundry.

She changes our sheets!

She tucks the corners there so tight

I rolled over and almost broke a toe.

Girl, I would love it if somebody did my laundry.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't mind it so much.

But she keeps throwing out my cute little underwear..

...giving me these.

Wh-wh-what I'm supposed to do with this?

She says stuff like, "Bikini underwear are skeezers."

And does Martin take up for me?

He just.. No. No.

You know how brothers are, man. You and me..

They love mothers like they love cooked food.

Yeah, well, what am I supposed to do, Pam?

Well, you can do like his mother does.

Girl, you know I can't grow no mustache. Ha!

That was a good one, you gotta give it up.

That was dope. No, no, G, you gotta take control.

I mean, beat his mother at her own game.

Kill him with kindness, girl.

- You know what I'm saying? - Ooh.

Make him forget his mama biscuits.

Oh, I could do that. I could make him forget it.

Girl, you so stank I'm loving it.

- Hey, hey, alright, alright. - Ah! Hey, baby.

Why y'all in here looking like a couple of stanks?

- Okay, wh-what's going on? - Baby.. Baby, look.

We-we really need to talk, honey.

Well, should we go outside?

You know how deputy dog got them highly sensitive ears.

Half our business all in the street.

Move outta my way. As much as I can't stand him.

- Sorry. - Just kill him with kindness.

- Lay it on him. Alright? - Alright, girl, thanks.

- Appreciate it. - Alright.

Baby..

Martin, baby, we really gotta talk.

Your mother busted in here with the laundry

alright, then she came back with some biscuits, right--

Whoa! Whoa! My mama came back with some biscuits?

Gina, where are my mama biscuits?

Where are my mama biscuits?

- Right there, Martin! - Ooh, boo!

You didn't want mama.. You didn't want

none of mama biscuits, baby?

I can't. She said, if I touch one

she'll make my eyes even tighter.

Then you gotta leave them alone.

Whatever. I'm gonna go change.

Okay, you do that. But how are you gonna turn down..

...a mama biscuit? Damn!

Oh.

Damn, mama's slipping.

What?

A note in the damn..

...biscuit.

Marty? Psst, psst. I said, Martin.

Look, get outta there as fast as you can.

Apple head is tryin' to..

Turn over now.

Boy, I said turn over now! I mean it.

Apple head is tryin' to set you up..

...for an insurance money.

Oh. Oh, damn, mama's losing it.

Yeah, but I ain't losing it! I ain't losing.

I overheard her and the insurance man

planning it...this morning.

Now, look, hurry up and-and-and swallow the note.

Swallow it before apple head come out and catch me and..

'Martin.'

- 'Martin, baby?' - Uh, yeah, baby?

'Baby, we really need to talk about this'

'insurance policy soon.'

Uh, yeah, yeah. I mean let's talk

about this insurance policy, baby.

- But, wh-wh-what's the hurry? - 'Oh, none.'

'You know I just wanna get some'

'in case, you know, something might happen.'

'Hey, baby, can you get me a drink of water, please?'

Yeah, sure, I..

That sound like mama. That sound like mama.

Yeah, sure, baby, I'll get you something to drink.

What the hell is going on?

Uh, baby, do you want a big glass or a little glass?

'You know what, at this point it really doesn't matter.'

Oh.

Oh!

Ah!

Either one of you got insurance, man?

Oh, shoot, I was thinkin' about getting some for the pacer

until I realized the payments cost more than the cardinal.

Wait, wait, wait, Cole.

You bricking like that and still paying on that pacer?

That pacer must be, what, 18 years old, man.

Yeah, I know, 22 more payments and she all mine, Tommy boy.

I'm talking about life insurance.

Yeah, Gina got some for me, right?

But something about it ain't right.

What do you mean, "Something about it ain't right?"

That's what people do when they planning family.

True. True.

So, you mean Gina's just being responsible.

That's it.

My baby Gina would never ever..

...set me up for the loot.

Gina set you up for the loot?

Come on, man, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Not me. I've heard some stupidest things in my time.

Yeah, most of them came right out of your mouth, Cole.

No. Tommy, some things have been happening.

Some strange things have been happening.

What things, Martin?

Okay, well, look, I go, I go to eat

one of my mama biscuits, right?

And there lies a note in the middle of the biscuit

that say, "Watch your back about Gina."

- Word.. - Yeah.

Yo, yo, mom's is always right, man.

They got that, uh, women's intermission.

Yeah.

Martin, your mama.. She.. Was she tensed..

- My mama tensed or what, Tommy? - What?

My mama tensed or what?

Because don't go talking about my mama, man.

- 'I wouldn't.' - Alright?

'Cause I'd kick you so hard

you'd grow a shag. Bam!

Alright, alright, alright, look, j-just tell us

what else happened, man.

Well, what happened was

I'm standing out there right after

the biscuit thing happened.

Okay? She hollers out, "Martin can you give me some water?"

This is Gina I'm talking about.

- 'Okay.' - Right. So I say..

I say, "Yeah, baby, I get you some water."

- Right? - Right.

At that point, I go to open the cabinet..

Ka-doom!

Three cans, man, damn near fell on my head.

I could've been outta hear, man.

But the only thing that saved me was the ears, man.

The ears broke the fall, man.

Martin, brother, I'm sure it's just an accident. That's it.

There were three cans of pork and beans, Tommy.

Three identical cans.

Yo, trip this.

Big Shirley tried to kill me once too, man.

- What? - Yup.

Over a pork chop.

I can't even talk about it, man. I just..

Okay, now I'm gonna ask you a question

now you be serious with me now.

And this is about my baby.

You think, uh..

...Gina living fine?

Let me put it to you like this, brah.

She probably at home right now.

Back at your crib. Setting you up.

Make it look like an accident, alright?

- Right. - Now, look, remember..

Gina went to college, man.

She know how to get broke off.

Something wrong with you, Cole.

No, I'm serious. Something really wrong with you.

You know that Gina would never do anything to hurt Martin

for any amount of money, I don't care how much it is.

Two million dollars?!

I'd kill you for two million dollars!

For two million dollars I'd kill myself.

Why, Gina, why?

Didn't I give you everything?

Everything but two million dollars

see there?

Hey..

- What? - Do you smell that?

Yeah, I smell that. What the hell is that?

That would be me. Yeah. Um..

My bad. Moms had made chili for lunch.

You nasty man! My mouth was open.

No, it's more than a chili thing.

- It's more than a chili thing. - What?

Oh, damn, the stove.

She left the gas on. Oh, this ain't no joke, man.

Now you believe in what I'm saying?

Okay, now I could be taken out any minute.

Now this is not no joke, y'all.

- 'Uh-oh. No, no, no.' - Oh..

Oh, damn the clock is ticking on it.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Hey, wait.

Okay, Martin, Martin..

Martin, Martin, hold on. Hold on, man!

Martin, it's just an alarm clock!

Well, now it's a broke alarm clock, Tommy.

Oh!

Whiplash.

Whiplash.

Uh, somebody waxed the hell outta that floor!

Wait a minute. You know what?

I just saw Gina earlier with a-a full bucket of mopping glow.

Man, the fall was for me.

Well, he's right.

You know what.. Oh, look.

It's t-time for me to go to work. I gotta go.

You ain't got no job, man!

Tonight's the night, Pam.

Oh, yeah, girl.

When I'm done with him, he won't know what hit him.

Trust.. Uh-huh.

Pam. A Doberman will always turn on you.

Okay. Girl, I gotta go. Alright. Bye.

- Hey. How you doin'? - 'Hey. Hey, how you doin'?'

- Alright, I'm cool. - Good.

Baby, dinner will be ready soon

so why don't you go over there and have a seat, okay?

Okay, well, why you.. W-why can't you put down the fork?

Why you got to swing the fork like that?

- Oh, alright, whatever. - Well, whatever.

Martin baby, I made all your favorites

and to top it off..

...chocolate cake.

It's to die for.

- It's to die for? - 'Oh, yeah.'

Right on. Ha-ha-ha!

Hello, 911.

Yeah, how long y'all stay open?

Martin, who are you calling?

Oh, that was nobody, baby. That was the wrong number.

Well, doesn't matter anyway.

Dinner's ready.

Oh, baby, I made you...a st--

I-I-I don't want no steak.

- What? - No, I don't want no steak.

I'm a vegetarian.

Martin, stop playing.

Look, let's have a toast, alright.

Hold this. Take it.

- This is to us. - Yeah.

And for us to be together for ever and ever.

- Till death do us part. - Oh, um, ouch, yeah.

- I got an itch. - What?

I got an itch on the back, yeah.

Yeah, right up.. Oh..

Go down a little. Bring it over.

To the under.. Yeah. Right. Go right up under the blade.

- Yes, right up under the blade. - Up here? Up here?

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's right there, baby.

- Why don't you drink? - Okay.

- Drink. Sip on. Sip on.. - You know, what, Martin.

- You.. - Ugh!

You gotta taste this, babe.

Got to taste this!

I worked on this all day.

- Uh.. - Have some.

- Uh.. - Open up, baby.

Ah, baby, your hair look..

- Who did your hair? - Me. I--

Girl, your look.. Your ha..

Your hair looking like bomb!

I say your hair looking like the bomb!

- Really! Thank you! - Yeah!

- Who did it? - Me.

The stylist? Turn around let me see.

Girl, give me.. Give me that.

Mm..

Mm-mm-mm.

That steak was the bomb.

I'm telling you, you put just the right amount

of season on that, girl.

I'm telling you. And see, that's why I knew we can marry.

- I knew that. I knew that. - Martin.

You know what, you seem a little tense.

Let me give you a massage.

No, baby, I'm not tensed at all.

No, will you just relax, baby?!

Sit back. Don't make me come after you now.

Baby, it's been a long weekend.

How does that feel, baby?

What do you mean, "How does that feel?"

- You got your.. - Come on. Would you relax?

Let go. How does that feel?

- It feel like you're.. - Come on..

It feel like you're too damn close to my Adam's Apple, Gina.

- You tryin' to choke me? - What is your problem?

Two million dollars, Gina.

The policy. Yeah, that's my problem.

You know what? I ain't goin' out like that.

If I got to fight you like you a man, I'll fight you, Gina.

Bounce with you. Bounce with it, Gina.

Martin, do you think that I'm tryin' to kill you?

Where would you get an idea like that?

- Well, mama-- - Oh, jeez.

Well, no, mama has said she heard

you and the insurance man over talking about

what y'all gonna do to me

and how you'd take a limo, a lake..

You know, I mean, you could get 75 Gs

and 25 Gs for a ear and--

Martin!

Martin!

If your mother would have stayed for the whole story

she would have gotten it straight.

You mean, my mama didn't get to the story straight?

No!

Well, what's up with up with the

the insurance policy. What was all that about?

'Cause I know mama wouldn't lie.

Martin, the thing isn't even signed.

Alright? Look.

It's not signed.

I just want to talk to you about it.

Oh, wow. Uh..

Briat..

- Sabuau.. - What..

What is wrong with you now?

Nauseous.

Nauseous once a..

Baby, at the plank.. The stomach's bubblin'.

I'm feeling a little traumatization right now.

Martin, just go into the bathroom

don't get it on my floor!

Where's my Martin?

I said, where's my Martin?

Where is he? Where's the body?

I said, Gina, where's the body or the whole place is going.

The whole place is blowing, Gina.

I'm taking you here and I'm taking you there..

Put it in your mouth. Boom!

You're blowing outta here!

- Where is my Martin? - Hold up!

Martin is in the bathroom, he's fine.

Would you calm down, Mrs. Payne?

Ooh. Oh, boy.

Okay, now.

You're overstepping your boundaries.

Are you strapped?!

You can threaten me, but I'm standing up

for what's mine, okay?

- What's yours? - That's right.

Well, let me tell you something, Martin's my boy--

Yeah, well, he's my husband!

Okay? I am good to that man.

Well, I overheard you and the insurance man--

I am not done yet.

That's right.

You heard wrong.

See, I may not wait on Martin like you do

but I love him more than anything else in this world.

And you're just gonna have to realize

that there are two Mrs. Paynes in this world now.

This is my house. I run this.

You got me..

Girl, I'm playin' with you.

You know I liked the way you stepped up.

- Oh, really? - Been a woman for a change.

You keep that up..

...mama might learn to respect you.

- Oh. - But, but, wait, wait.

Do you, do you think that maybe one day

you-you might learn to like me?

Hell no!

- Baby. - Yeah?

Was that, was that mama's voice I heard?

Yeah, she was here, now she's back out

terrorizing the streets.

Is she alright? Is she okay?

Martin, you know what? I really think

you should worry less about your mama

and a little bit more about me.

I mean, baby, correct me if I'm wrong.

But I thought I was the number one woman in your life.

You are the number one woman in my life.

And you're my wife.

- And I love you. - I love you.

That's what I love doing here.

- Let's toast it out, baby. - Yeah?

- Yeah. Ooh. - Alright, we get a lil' toast.

- We get a lil' toast. Oh. - Love you.

- Let me get you. - Okay.

- You got the lips, alright. - Yup.

Here's to, uh.. Well, first of all marriage.

- But, here's to love.. - Yes.

- Honor, respect. - Yeah. Yes.

Most of all..

...let it be heard..

Most of all..

...trust!

Well..

- Hear, hear. - Hear, hear.

Mm.

- Baby? - 'Yeah, baby?'

You know what?

Yeah, baby, talk to me. I mean I'm home, don't waste my--

We need some food!

Damn!

Now, we are there.

Myra, can you just give him the story point?

I'm not gonna try to top that.