Original subtitles

Oh, yeah, diggity dog, oh!

Welcome home, Mrs. Payne.

Oh, baby, I love the way that sounds.

Hmm-ha, alright, alright.

Hey, yo, yo, wait, wait.

Aren't you supposed to carry me over the

threshold? It's not, you know.

Baby, I carried the suitcase up the stairs.

You should be carrying me.

You should be carrying me over the threshold in there.

What's the matter Martin? Can't hang.

As a matter of fact, I can't Gina.

I don't know what happens after you all ladies get married.

I think y'all throw it better some, yeah.

Man.

You know, I'm trying to give you a little something

you gonna think about, you know.

Oh, you damn sure gave me something to think about.

- Hey, baby. - What?

Check the machine and see if my mama called?

See if my mama called?

'Mad apple headed hussy..'

'...stoled my baby into it.'

'When I see your thick face, I'm gonna get the slices.'

'Oh, your apple head is around?'

- 'Ah!' - Ha-ha, ha-ha.

Whoa baby, mama sound little better than I thought..

I was expecting to hear gun shots.

- Paw paw! - Me too, Martin.

And look, there's a gift she brought us.

We might as well let the bomb squad open that one.

Oh, baby!

I'm just glad to be home anyway.

Oh, baby, I got a whole first night together all planned out.

First we're gonna open up all our wedding gifts.

Then we're going to, I don't know.

Write our thank you notes, our apologies.

Sorry, sorry baby, sorry.

What are you sorry about, Martin?

Well, Gina, see I had told Tommy and Cole

that I'll going to come on down to the pool.

- Playing the pool with them. - What?

Are you trying to tell me that on our first night home

you're gonna go play pool with your boys?

Why do you think we cut the honeymoon early, baby?

Martin!

You told me that you had business to take care of.

I do have business to take care, Gina.

I got to get down to the pool and open up

a cane of whoop ass on Tommy and Cole.

Baby, you know, I really think we're starting off on the wrong

foot here. I mean, really?

Marriage is supposed to be about

communication, compromise, you know?

I am compromising.

I was supposed to be there to be there half an hour ago, baby.

You're holding me home.

- Alright, fine, Martin. - Thank you. I love you.

Well, if you have to go..

...can you at least be home by eight o'clock?

Girl, I'll be home by59.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Aren't you forgetting something.

Oh, you want me to place the luscious on you

the way I want you to place the luscious on me.

That's quite silly.

Gina, what the hell is this?

Isn't it, cutest little beeper?

What you trying to do, Gina? Put electronic leash on me?

Next, what you going to have a curfew, baby?

Martin, please, it is only for emergencies, okay.

And besides this way we can always be connected.

Well, I'll tell you what? I'll tell you what?

If your number is 48, I damn sure won't be late.

Wassup.

They don't know me up in here.

Over.

Wazzup! Wazzup! Wazzup!

Yes, right, pool school is in the session now.

Who wants the first lesson?

Oh-ho!

The bride's groom is back dog!

wait, wait, hold on, Martin.

You-you look a couple of coats low man.

What do you mean? I was with my wife.

You know, how I do it.

Look at it, look at it.

Hey, look man, um, I'm sorry I missed your wedding, yeah.

- Yes. - I took the wrong plane.

- Ended up in Samoa. - Hmm.

They've got some more big woman in Samoa! Yeah!

Cole, just rack up man.

Congratulations, Martin.

You got bottle of champagne or such?

Oh, you know what happened with that Nipsey.

Mama busted Gina's father over the head with that man.

Well, alright.

You know what, Martin, I'm a little surprised

Gina let you out tonight.

What do you mean let me out?

What do you mean let me out? I'm a grown damn man.

- I let myself out. - Alright.

Man, you playing?

You got to let them know early who the man.

That's what I'm talking about.

Why you got the beeper now?

Yeah, did Gina get you that?

Man, Just move out the way.

- Let me break the ball, man. - Alright, come on, come on.

Oh, show you right.

Oh, so look at you, boy, now that you a married man.

Do you think you still got it?

Ain't no reason to trip.

I'm still a pool hustler clocking my grizzle.

Damn! I'm good.

I don't know, I don't know why I'm this good?

It's a great shot.

How did you do that?

It's called skills.

Martin-Martin, got the skills to pay the bills.

Yeah, yeah. Now, you have a lot of talent too.

My name is Cole and you are..

- Not interested. - Right on.

- What's up? I'm Vanessa. - Hey.

Can I play? Because, you know I could

pick up some pointers playing pool from a hustler like you.

Sure, sure, you could but right now I'm playing with my nukkas.

So, that wouldn't be right.

Oh, oh-oh I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I was interrupting your game.

No, no, no, no, no. You-you're not

interrupting anything, sweetheart.

- There you go, you be my guest. - Oh, thank you.

Well, I guess I got to be a gentleman.

So, I'm gonna let you take the first shot.

Have fun, 'cause you might not get another one.

It's her first shot man.

Well, look, ah...back up a little bit.

I'm gonna try to make this as Martin painless as possible.

Alright, I'm coming.

Alright, alright, alright, alright.

Hey, miss married lady.

Oh!, good, good. You got to tell me all about this honeymoon

and don't leave out a single thing.

Except for the parts with your little husband.

Where's bush wick?

Oh, um..

He had to go out and take care of some business..

...down at Nipsey's

Hold up, you mean to tell me that your brand new husband

is at the pool hall, playing pool on his first night back?

Pam, please, please. Stay out of married people's business.

He'll be home by eight.

I'm not in your business, Gina.

But if I was in your business

I would tell you that it's15.

Don't you think I know that?

Anyway, it's not a problem, Pam

because I got him a beeper and I'll just page him.

Girl, you should have brought him some platform shoes.

Hi, hello, yeah, I like to I'd like to leave a message

for Mr. Payne, please, Martin Payne.

Yes, could you please tell him to call his wife--

Uh-uh, better yet, better yet.

Tell him to get his raggedy ass home now.

Now, please--

Ah, yeah!

I'm a bad man.

I'm a bad man. Three "P", three "P".

Let me get home. Get on out of here.

- I gotta admit, you're good. - Thank you.

That I am. That I am.

Look, look, Martin, brother

you beat her like she stole something.

Oh, what's that?

Oh, that's just Martin's beeper.

Mrs. Payne must want him to get his butt home.

You're just mad, cause Pamda bear

can't dial a phone with her claws, man.

Back off.

Let me get ready to get up out of here.

Oh, Martin, I-I know you're not leaving yet.

I gotta role, ain't no competition around here.

Well, then I guess you wouldn't have a problem playing me

for, say, ah...20 bucks a ball?

First of all, sister, Marty-Mart don't gamble.

so you can save your money, honey.

Now I understand um, your wife gave you a curfew.

Hey, didn't you hear what I had said earlier?

No, nobody be giving me no curfew.

I come and go as a very damn will...please.

So you don't get.

What did you say we play for... your watch?

- You wanna play for my watch? - Hmm-hmm.

You know what? I tell you what?

I play you for nothing.

If I lose, you can have the damn watch.

Okay, it's on then.

- Is it still ladies first? - On you.

Damn! wh-what time you say it was?

Well, it looks like this is my last shot.

I don't know, uh..

...what table you looking at, but you still got

four balls left on the table.

- Really? - Yeah.

Eight ball, corner pocket.

Oh, ho-ho!

- Oh! - Oh!

How you like me now?

Ah!

You-you ain't gonna give me a chance to win my things back.

What you gonna bet some skin?

- Ah! No, no, I got collateral. - Uh-huh?

I got collateral. Hold on for a second.

Tommy.

Hey man.

Come on, man.

Let a brother borrow the car keys man.

What?

Man, I never lost 13 in a row.

I'm on a roll now, Tommy.

No, I can't do that, man. That's a company car.

You ain't got no company, man.

Cole, Cole, let me borrow your wallet, man.

You can hold it, my mom's already took what's in it.

Oh, damn, Nipsey.

Let me borrow few man.

You better quit while you're behind

that girl gonna beat you silly.

Come on. Let's go man. It's time to go, let's go.

Get off me, man.

Get off me, look man, I could win man.

I know I'm taking you home to your wife.

- Let's go. - Oh, damn.

Oh, damn!

Oh!

I forgot about my wife, Gina.

What time is it? What time is it?

No, you ain't asking us. 'You went and lost

both of our watches.

Well, according to Martin's watch it's22.

Y'all have a good night.

Ha-ha-ha!

Hell man, it's cold. Woo!

I must have been crazy to give her my jacket.

If I was thinking I'd have gave up my pants.

Wooo! Now look, remember alright.

Y'all better have my back on this.

- Just stick to the story, okay? - 'Okay.'

- Now we got Jacked. - 'Alright.'

That's that.

- Should you-- - Oh!

Ouch! Ah!

Ah! Hey, baby, we were just talking about you.

What you doing up?

Waiting on you?

What are you doing damned naked?

- What? - Ah! I got jacked!

Martin.

Do you have any idea what time it is?

Time, Gina. What about me, look at me.

...naked ass out!

- What about me? - You know what?

This better be good, this better be...woo!

No, na, na, na.

See, I can't tell you that it was good.

Because it wasn't good, Gina.

But I was out there handling my business with them.

Right know, y'all?

How many, how many of them was it?

- Twelve. - One.

- One? - Twelve?

No, no!

That was not the story.

- I thought it was 12. - Argh!

Baby, what they meant to say is it was between twelve and one.

Alright, look, look, look.

Stop playing games and please tell me what happened.

Oh, Gina.

Gina, I'm a little traumatized.

Tommy tell her the story 'cause I'm still

going back from a traumatization.

Huh? Oh, well...alright.

You, you, you, you know how Martin is when

injustice, it is been done.

Well, you see when we saw that poor little old lady being

beat down, you see.

He couldn't help him to jump in and start swinging.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's what he was doing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, then what happened was we went through

this-this burning house.

Yeah, yeah. Then ah..

...then we came out and got in the mothership.

Haha, my baby, yeah.

Woo!

- Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Right.

And ah..

And ah, baby, that's-that's just the way it went down baby.

Ba-ba.

Goodnight, Tommy. Goodnight, Cole.

What about that mothership?

In the mothership, baby.

Alright, Gina, I'm gonna be real with you, baby.

Alright, there was this huh

there was this pool shark down at the pool hall.

Hustling everybody out of their money, baby.

What does it have to do with you?

I'm the only one that could beat him.

You should have seen this pool hustle guy.

And then when I beat him, all his boys got mad.

And jumped me, Gina.

That's right, Gina. They jumped me.

And I'm just glad that the bleed is internal.

So, you won't have to see all that blood girl.

Come on, Martin, you got jacked.

And then you ran through a burning building.

Yes. And don't forget the mothership, baby. Ba-ba.

Stop, stop the lies, okay.

Please, it is so obvious.

A pool hustler beat the pants off you and you came home late.

Just admit it, Martin, please.

Okay, okay, Gina, Gina, sit down here alright.

Alright, now listen, baby...I apologize, okay?

It's my bad, Gina. I should've called. Okay.

But Gina, I ain't used to being married.

So I didn't, you know I didn't know baby.

Me either, Martin.

But, baby, when you don't call me

when you don't return my page, I worry.

I mean, put yourself in my position.

How would you feel?

Well, I wouldn't let you out.

What? Shut up?

What? No, I'm just playing with you baby.

- We cool now? - Hell no.

Sorry, baby, I was just playing with you.

Okay, baby, give me the luscious.

- I was mad at you. - You was mad at me?

Don't be mad at me.

Who the hell?

Knocking on the door one in the morning, baby.

I'm gonna knock Tommy cold out.

- Say Martin-- - Oh!

What?

Say it in my ear. Say it. What?

I didn't come here to get you any problems.

I got your dress and your driver's license.

I just wanted to return these

because your little shoes don't fit my man.

Oh!

My shoes don't fit your man

but I bet my..

I bet my damn watch does.

Damn it.

- Oh, Gina. - Yeah?

Yo-you won't open the door baby?

Martin, who was that?

What? Who just came?

Yeah, who just came over. Who was that?

Umm..

Oh, that was the shoe salesman person.

No, baby. I don't think that was a shoes man salesman person.

I think that was a woman who hustled your money.

- Mm-mm. No, no. - And..

- Had your ass out. - No, no, Gina.

Okay, that woman did not hustled me on my money.

Now open the door. It's getting real chill out here.

No.

No, she-she may not have hustled you out of your

money, but she took everything else.

You know what, Pam is gonna love it?

Oh, Gina!

'Gina, don't you call Pam.'

Gina, don't you call Pam.

I don't want the whole zoo know my business.

- Pam! - Gina, open the door.

- Pam! Wake up, girl. - Gina, open the door.

Wazzup!

Oh, no!

Dragonfly.

I have to give you all my money.

Can at least let me have some bus fare?

Give me my money.

Give me my money, old lady.

Give me my money.

Had you been playing bingo, you wouldn't had this problem.

You'd be somewhere riding down bus.

You'd have bus fare lady.

Yo, look here, Dragonfly.

They outside repossessing my car right now.

I need my money.

What that got to do with me punk?

What that got to do with me? I ain't got no money.

So you better break out like the chicken pork punk.

It's on, like Donkey Kong now punk.

Oh!

Ah-ha!

Alright.

Alright, alright, oh!

Alright.

Alright.

Take it back, you punk.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Thanks Punks!