Original subtitles

Oh.

- Yes! - Hey.

So, what did y'all think about the movie?

- I liked it. - Oh, liked it.

I loved it, the way Wesley jumped out of that plane

and then onto the blimp, then jumped over to that other plane.

- That was dope. - Yeah.

I never saw anything like that.

- That's right. - Oh, Pam, please.

Just last night I saw you jump over the moon, didn't I?

Baby, I got her good on that one.

I got her good on that one.

You know, Martin, your little smart remarks used to upset me

but it's obvious that you're obsessed with me

and that's how you express it.

- Obsessed with you? - Yes.

Pam, please.

Oh, yeah? Okay. Alright.

Well, put your money where your big mouth is, okay?

I bet you $20 you can't go

five minutes without cracking on me.

Let me tell you somethin'.

As long as I ain't gotta look in your face, I'm stray. Chips.

Well, l-let me in on that bet.

Me too. I'm in on that.

Oh, you want an in on the bet?

Baby, that's what I'm talking about.

Look out for your man. See?

Um, actually, I'm betting on Pam. Sorry.

- Got to go with the odds. - Oh.

- So you in this too? - That's right.

Okay. Well, uh, go ahead. Do it. Do it.

Here we go. We gonna start right now.

So Pam.

Hey, girl, how ya doing?

- Alright. - Alright.

So what are you going to do tomorrow?

Well, tomorrow I was gonna get my hair done

but you know, I changed my mind

because it looks so good.

Don't you all agree?

Okay.

Excuse me.

Was there something that you had to say, popcorn trip?

- Uh.. - I didn't think so.

And you know what, then I got to go get my workout.

You know, keep my, my, my figure looking...tight.

Hey! Argh, I..

Aah!

- You know what, Gina? - Yes, girl.

I got to have my apartment fumigated.

What?

Somebody in my buildin' has fleas.

I don't know how they got there. I mean, could you tell me?

Alright, Alright. I'll tell you!

It's you, Muttley. You the one with the damn fleas.

Give me my money!

Martin, I don't want

your funky bounced checks, man.

Give me the kizzash.

Hey, woman, I'm good for it. It's only money.

I just win it back by betting on you at the track.

Y'all tripping. I'm serious.

Hello.

Yeah.

Who?

Um, excuse me. Could you please hold? Yeah. Thank you.

Martin, it's the district attorney's office for you.

Oh, damn!

I-I'm in trouble.

Somebody call Johnnie Cochran..

Would you take this phone?

- Yo-- - Oh, take the phone.

Okay, well, what did they say?

Let me think. Let me think. Let me think.

- Let me think, baby. - Martin.

They make you wait for them.

Sometimes you got to make them wait.

Hello?

Yeah. Yeah.

Right. I understand. Right.

Hey, but well, I-I ain't tripping.

Real. Okay, later.

Ah-ha!

What did they want?

Baby, they just called to let me know that, uh

Mad Dog is up for parole.

Mad Dog No Good's up for parole already?

I thought they sentenced him to 20 years.

Who's Mad Dog No Good?

One of the most notorious gangsters

that Detroit has ever seen.

Martin helped put him away about what, five years ago.

For what?

Oh, baby, he ran into my Yugo.

Well, just so happen he was running away

from a bank robbery at the time.

- Martin. - 'Yeah.'

You put a bank robber in prison?

Gina, I-I didn't put him in jail, okay?

I-I was trying to get my car fixed.

I mean, It wasn't because of me, baby!

I know that and you know that, Martin.

The problem is does Mad Dog know that?

- And now he's getting out? - No.

No, no, baby. He, he's just up for parole.

Shoot, as bad as he is

they're not, they're not about to let Mad Dog out.

I-I don't believe they would do that.

Not-not-not the judicial system.

Dag. Mad Dog No Good.

I remember seeing his picture up in the post office

when I was younger.

- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.

What were you doing there, McGruff?

What were you, taking a bite out of crime?

Thank you. I tell you, thank you.

Welcome back to "Word on the street."

And, uh, w-we're talkin' with two female body builders

who say there, there ain't no more good men in the world.

We say it, and we mean it.

Pa-da!

Heh! She says, "We say it, and we mean it. Pa-da!"

Well, Let me ask you a question.

Besides looking like Karl Malone

what-what seems to be the problem?

We don't have a problem.

Okay?

Phew. Alright, well, uh..

Whoo, don't-don't break me up. L-let..

You know, let's take it to the audience.

Okay, uh, women who can whoop your ass.

What are your thoughts?

Yeah, what we're just saying is that

maybe y'all could get a man if you didn't look like one.

I mean, you're probably packing more than I am.

Come on, now, you could tell us.

What size cup do y'all really wear?

It wouldn't take much to pack more than you.

'You tell them. You tell them. You tell them.'

And you.

You don't even know what it takes to be a man.

Slow your rolls, Smokin' Joe.

Okay, don't get me to flexing out here, okay?

Now, I'll tell you what it takes to be a man.

It takes standin' up for justice.

Now, uh..

Y'all know Mad Dog No Good?

Yeah, y'all know him, don't you? Huh?

- Say it! You know him! - 'Yeah, yeah!'

Well, I went head-up with him. That's right.

You went head-up with Mad Dog No Good?

Think I didn't?

The Mad Dog No Good?

See ya.

Well, then run, you little punks.

I ain't afraid.

Not only did I take him down

but I took him on.

Now, I'm gonna bring it down for a minute

and we're gonna go to the caller.

Caller, are you there?

'Martin.'

'Guess who this is.'

'It's your boy Mad Dog No Good'

'just watching your show.'

'You remember me? Heh-heh!'

Yeah, I-I sure do.

Um, yeah, I-I remember you, Mad Dog.

Um, Mad Dog, let me ask you a question.

You still locked up, right?

'Yeah.'

Oh, shoot. Hey, no problem.

What do you wanna wrap about?

'I called to let you know I'm getting out..'

'...today.'

'And I'll be coming to see you.'

- Oh, damn. - 'Real soon.'

Okay, alright, uh..

Well, as y'all know that's Mad Dog, uh..

He just wanted to call and let y'all know he was in town

and anybody wanna buy him a slurpy or anything.

Um..

Well, y'all know Martin Payne. I-I ain't afraid of nothin'.

- Yeah! - That's right.

Y'all know, y'all know. No.

I don't run from nothing, right?

Hey, now boy, you got to stop moving now.

You gotta be still or I'mma mess your hair.

Uh, you're right, Mr. Jim.

Crime in Detroit ain't no joke.

Ain't nobody talking about no crime.

Uh, you're distracted, Martin. What's on your mind?

You-you know, it's funny how

the mysteries of life just unravel.

You-you come in the world butt-naked and alone

and you liable to leave out that way.

What are you talking about, Martin?

Nothing, binoculars.

- Look, I put a man in jail. - 'Mm-hmm.'

And today he's getting out for parole.

Well, how long has he been in?

Five years.

Five years without a woman?

That man ain't thinking about you, man.

Shoot. You probably won't see him for another five years.

You know what? You're right, man.

What the hell am I tripping about?

He locked down, he ain't thinking about me.

- Ain't nobody.. - You right. You right.

You ain't got nothin' to be afraid of, you know.

Besides, you ain't no punk.

Somebody done told you right.

'Cause you know what there's gonna be a lot of slow

singin' and flower bringin'

if my burglar alarm starts ringin'.

You know what I'm sayin'?

- Talk about it, Martin. - That's right.

Look, any man who just got out of prison

ain't looking to go back in.

You know, 'cause I mean, ain't nobody that crazy. You know?

Word is bond.

Alright.

Hey, buck white, you ain't lyin', man.

I don't even care even if it is

you know, Mad Dog No Good.

Mad Dog No Good?

Well, wait..

Yo, Martin, you ain't said nothing about no Mad Dog.

- Mad Dog is out? - Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, but he's only up for parole, Mr. Jim.

He's not gonna come looking for me. Ain't that right?

Oh, he's coming.

Hey, Mad Dog don't forget a thing.

Now, that's the same guy who went back and got the doctor

who smacked him when he was born.

Oh, damn, but ain't nothing gonna happen to me

as long as I stay close to my friends, right?

Yeah, if you can find some.

Yeah, lock up, will you?

I don't know what they all afraid of?

- You don't? - Huh?

Man, I say you don't?

Uh, hell no!

No reason to be scared of a sad dog.

No, man. I didn't say sad dog.

I said Mad Dog.

- Mad Dog? - Mad.

Mad Dog coming?

Got to go.

I might need this.

Oh, man. That's it. I'm out.

- C'mon, baby. I'm ready to go. - Me too.

Hey, hey, y'all-y'all don't have to leave now, do you?

Uh, uh, baby, let's put on a movie.

Put on "House Party 6" or something, baby, please?

Bye-bye.

Uh, alright-alright, fine. Fine. Fine.

Uh, we-we don't have to watch a movie.

Uh, we-we can just sit and talk.

Yeah, come on, y'all. Let's just talk.

- Can we talk, please? Come on. - Can we get..

- Oh, I got it, I got it. - Okay.

- You gotta rest, sit and talk.. - Come on, y'all.

Have a seat, please?

Uh-uh..

Yeah, so, uh..

You know, a lot going on in the world.

Oh, yeah. Sure is.

So what y'all been up to?

Well, let's see.

We were here last night watching

"The First Five House Parties."

And then we came over early this morning

to eat your nasty little breakfast.

Please, don't blame me for it, huh?

You-you the one that laid the rotten egg.

You ain't fooling nobody, Martin.

You just scared that Mad Dog is coming to get you.

Well, alright, fine.

Maybe I am a little scared, Pam, okay?

Everybody's not like Tommy.

I don't have a Pit Bull to protect me.

- That's it. I'm leaving, Martin - Come on, come on.

Can't believe y'all just going to run out on us.

- Yeah. - Let 'em go! Damn!

Let 'em go, baby! Alright?

We ain't afraid of nothing. Let 'em go.

Aah! Aah!

Down! Down! Down!

- Baby, baby, go see what it is. - Baby, down!

I know, baby. Keep your head down, okay?

Just stay there.

- Oh. Get off my moon. - What, what, what?

Get off. I say get off.

But I'm gettin' off.

I'm using you as a protective shield. Let's go.

Martin, get off of me!

Oh. My bad. It's just my popcorn.

- Boy! - You telling me..

What the hell you popping popcorn for, man?

Man, it's my dinner. We been here all night.

C'mon, baby. Let's just get outta here.

I can't believe y'all just gonna leave Martin like this.

Martin's always been there for you.

Well, I'm sorry, Gina, okay?

I didn't know you needed our help.

I thought mighty mouse had special powers.

Sit down!

Damn it! I said sit down!

- Don't touch me. Don't-- - Sit down.

Ain't nobody goin' nowhere.

- Get the stand. - That's right.

Y'all got to stay.

- What is.. - In my mind..

Baby, it could be Mad Dog.

Could be.

Well, get the phone, man.

What, are you scared?

No, I'm not scared.

Back up off me and stop breathing right here.

The number you have reached 5-5-5..

Hello, Mad Dog?

- Put him.. - What?

- Put him on the speaker. - On the speaker.

There.

- Yeah. Oh. - 'I'm coming over.'

'We've got some unfinished business.'

- Yeah, yeah. - 'I got to tell you something.'

Wait, Mad Dog.

You let me tell you something.

- 'Yeah.' - I'll meet.. Yeah, yeah.

I'll meet you down at Nipsey's.

- Twelve midnight. - Alright, good, good.

Would that be cool?

'Solid.'

Alright, well, it's solid.

You're only gonna get like, uh..

Like, five-five minutes of my time, and that's about it.

'That's all the time I need.'

- Oh, damn. - Baby!

Why are you meeting him at Nipsey's?

Baby, 'cause I don't want innocent people to get hurt.

Man, there's plenty of innocent people down at Nipsey's.

Damn it, Tommy! I'm talking about me!

I ain't done nothin' to nobody.

Guys, it is so sweet of you to come

down here, support Martin like this.

Pam, thank you for coming, girl.

Girl, please and miss a chance

to see Martin get his ass whooped? Huh!

I always wish I could see it on pay-per-view.

So where's Martin, anyway?

Knowing Martin, he probably paid somebody to be him.

Please. Martin would never do that.

He'll be here any minute.

Wassup? Wassup? Wassup?

Man, who are you?

Martin Payne, boydilocks. Ahh!

Now, which one of you broads be Gina?

I be.

Ahh! Excuse me.

Baby, give me that luscious!

- Eww! Get away from me! - Give me that luscious!

Give me that luscious!

What the hell you doing, man?

What you mean what the hell I'm doing?

I'm being you, man.

That's what you paid me to do. Now, poofball, be gone.

- Man, get-- - Give me that luscious!

Get your ass up out the thing.

What's wrong with him? Man, I don't know..

Oh, man. You know what?

What am I thinkin' about?

Have I forgotten who I am?

If I'm going out, I'm going out with these

'cause I'm a bad man.

I'm a bad man.

Look, Martin, you don't have anything to worry about, man.

He's not gonna try anything in front of all these people.

- Mad Dog's coming! - What?

I said Mad Dog's a-coming!

Run for your lives!

Look, we got your back, man, alright?

- That's right, baby. - Yeah.

That's right. That's right. I got this.

Yeah, good, good. Best of luck.

- Best of luck. - Yeah, yeah.

- You the man. - That's right. I'm the man.

'Martin!'

- Be out. - Got to go.

You need us, we'll be right back here. You just call us, okay?

Wassup?

'Martin, is that you?'

Damn right it's me, Mad Dog.

Ouch. Ouch.

So wassup, man?

I mean, what-what..

Wassup, Mad Dog? What you want to do, man?

Look, man.

- I waited a long time. - Yeah. Yeah.

To come here and thank you

for the five long

hard years in prison.

I waited a long time..

...to tell you I'm..

Look, I'm sorry about the five long

hard years of prison.

You did the crime, and I guess you had to do the damn time.

Go ahead, baby!

You right, baby. You right.

So wassup? What you wanna do?

Bring on the noise.

Bring on the noise.

Alright. Alright.

Ah! I go here.

Damn it. I said I go here.

I flip it around, I bring it back, I go here again.

Oh, damn.

For all you do, this bud's for you.

Look, I've got something to say to you.

A-alright. Let me say something to you, man.

Let me just break it down to you.

Now, you tell me what the hell

was I supposed to do, man?

You hit my car, man, and you ran my premium went sky-high.

The Insurance people don't wanna hear it, man.

And...don't you know that a hit-and-run in America

is illegal, man?

Yo, man, relax!

I can't relax, I'm trying to tell you something.

I said relax.

I'm chillin'.

Now, look, look. Just cool, okay?

I just got somethin' to say to you.

Now, when I was incarcerated

I had a lot of time to think about some things.

'Yeah, yeah.'

And well, because of you

I turned my whole life around, man.

And I owe it all to you.

Oh, man. Just..

Don't cry, man.

I get you crying like me and you get a little emotional

like me too, man, listen.

Hey, hey! Oh, oh. Okay.

I, I guess you ain't been out long enough

so you-you don't want no hugs.

Okay, well, uh, what-what you gonna

do now then, Mad Dog?

I'mma tell you, I'mma make some money the right way.

I'm a florist.

What you talking about, Mad Dog?

I'm talking about I specialize in tropical arrangements.

If you need something special around the holidays

just give me a call, Mother's Day

Valentine's Day, whatever.

Do you do weddings?

Of course I do weddings, baby.

- Here's my card. - Thank you.

- This is nice. - Oh, that is so..

You know what? Let me step back.

Mad Dog, I.. Brother, I just want to thank you.

Hey, man, I wanna thank you for listenin'.

- Thank you, brother. Thank you. - Alright.

Alright.

Oh, my, baby. I am so glad that's over.

Mm. Yeah, baby.

- You did good, Martin. - Oh. Phew.

Yeah, standing up to a florist

really took a lot of guts.

I'm just glad Mad Dog's

back on the right track.

- 'Get out of my way, shorty.' - 'Hey!'

'You watch where you are going? Who you calling shorty?'

'Oh, you better recognize where you stepping on.'

'I'm gonna beat your ass now. I'm gonna beat your ass.'

'Come on, Mad Dog, I didn't know it was you.'

'Hold still! Take your beating like a man!'

Let-let-let's..

'Martin. I need a witness!'

No, you don't, okay?

Let's jump out the back way.

I ain't testifying for nobody. Let's roll.

Now, hey, Martin, now, you ain't said

nothing about no Mad Dog now.

- Mad Dog is out? - Yeah.

Yeah, but he's only up for parole.

He ain't coming looking for me. Ain't that right, Mr. Jim?

- No, he's coming. - Mm-hmm.

Hey, he don't forget a thing, Martin.

That's the guy who went back and got his doctor.

He smacked his doctor when he was born.

He did something to his doctor.

Whatever it was, he did, he did it.

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

But anyway, that's the guy who went back

and got the doctor and smacked him.

Well, well, anyway, he went back, and he got..

I'mma get this line.

He went back and got the doctor..

Right. Who slapped him.

That's right. He did. Thank you.

- When he was born. - That's what he did.

Let's try that again.

He went back and got that doctor

who smacked him on the butt when he was born.