Original subtitles

What's up y'all? How you doing?

- Mr. Jim, how you feeling? - Hey, Tommy.

You got the best hand, big boy.

Hey, Martin, you remember Mr. Mackey, don't you?

You mean, Mr. Mackey who owns the old Mackey Theater?

Ohhh!

- Hey, he is I and I is he. - What's happenin'?

You know we grew up in your theater, right?

That's where I first learned the meaning of bump n' grind.

And that's the first place I saw the rear of Pam Grier.

Now how you gonna see somethin'? You blind.

Got the order.

Well, I'm so glad you fellas enjoyed the theater.

And, uh, I'm inviting you down for the closing show tonight.

Woah, woah.. What'd you.. What'd you mean closin' show?

Well, you see I took out a loan, uh, to remodel the place

and got a little bit behind on the payments

and so now the man is puttin' me out.

We're sorry to hear that, Mr. Mackey

Oh, no, no, no. Don't need no pity now.

Y'all just have your asses down there and help me out tonight.

Yeah, yeah, we-we-we down with you.

We there. We there.

Oh, man!

Y'all see the man how sad he looked?

I almost saw a tear, man.

We can't let him go out like that. No.

You know why, because that's where we grew up

on all the old '70s flicks.

Remember? What was it? "Blackula."

Uh-uh, "The Return of Blackula."

The Bride of Blackula. All of 'em.

- That's right. - Right.

You know, back in the '70s..

...now, that's when they had real movie stars.

Hell, I'm the first one to comb Isaac Hayes' beard.

Bet you broke up many a pick too, didn't you?

- Ahh, yeah, yeah. - It was good.

Alright ya'll, what's everybody looking so sad for?

We got to see Black Caesar, Foxy Brown

and Sparkle for only two dollars.

Yeah, but I'm kind of feeling sorry for Mr. Mackey, you know?

Oh, don't worry about it, he'll be alright.

I know he's gonna be alright.

'Cause I got a plan to save the theater.

Check it out, I'm organizing a fund-raiser.

Go ahead, dawg. Like Lou Rawls.

No, baby, in Martin's case that's Lou Smalls.

She's so crazy.

I wasn't even talking to you, Scary J. Blige.

I'm goin' down. 'Cause you ain't around, huh? Huh?

Now, come on over here. Peep this. Let me talk with y'all.

- Tell you what's happening. - What's up, baby?

Would you join us, Hershey Bar? Come on. Now!

'Now, check it out.'

Alright, alright, now peep this, yeah.

Alright, you with me?

What I'mma do is throw a Player's Ball down at Nipseys.

- Oh, that's sounds fun. - Right.

What this is gonna do is honor the people

who paved the way for us.

Cool, cool, so who you gonna get to be in it?

Ah, cool, cool, you asked me that.

Uh-uh, let me see, you might know him.

Uh, Antonio Fargas anybody?

- Fargas! - Yeah!

Okay, uh, uh, shoot

let's see, uh, we got Rudy Ray Moore.

Dolemite! Dolemite!

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah..

And, uh, for the fellas, Pam Grier.

And you know, whoever else comes by there or stop by, whatever.

Baby, what do you want us to do then?

Hmm.. Ah, baby, damn.

You almost pose a dilemma when you asked me that.

Hey, got it. Got it. Okay.

Baby, you cool. You ain't got to do much.

- Okay, u-uh, Cole, Tommy. - Yeah.

What I'm gonna need y'all to do, right, i-is get some volunteers

from the neighborhood to help us kinda decorate the place.

You know, I want it to look player style.

You know, go back, take it back.

- Okay, Pam-- - Ah! Don't even skip my way.

As bad as you talk to me I ain't helping you with jack!

I was just gonna see if you can get Cujo down here.

That's all.

Hey, yo, yo, I heard everybody

and their mamma gonna be at the ball.

Man, this benefit'll bring all the players on down.

Hey, you know, back in the day, see, getting ready to go out

was an event in itself.

That's right. Ain't that right, brah?

Yeah, you ain't said nothing, baby.

Since ya'll forced me to come out of retirement

I wonder who my competition tonight goin' be.

I know it ain't gonna be nobody up in here.

Oh! Oh!

I say, um, oh, oh.

Jerome's in the house.

I say Jerome's in the house. Oh, ha, ho!

Watch yo' mouth!

What's happenin'? Alright I came down to get my lil' ya-ya.

What's up? I saw you down that little road last night.

That little girl with somethin'

What's happenin'?

The Player of the Year is in it to win it.

'Cause I'm gonna take the crown

in just about a minute.

Man, you better get outta here with that fake ass

Bootsy Collins process.

- Ooh! - Ooh!

Hey, man, let me tell you something.

You fake, and a fraud, and part-time broad.

Check yourself.

Lookie here, you jive-time turkey.

Are you challenging me? Me! For Player of the Year?

Wa-Wa-What? Wait, let me tell you something.

I'm the Mayor of Debonair.

And I'm about to be player..

...extraordinaire.

So, there!

Well, you ain't said nothing but a word, chump.

See you ain't got no new lines, Huggy!

And I can see you ain't got no new teefus neither

yuck mouth!

- Ooh! - Ooh!

Yuck mouth? Yuck mouth?

That's the second time somebody done called me yuck mouth.

Damn it! The dentist done messed up my grill.

I'mma go get my teeth fixed.

I'll see you at the Player's Ball.

It's on!

You're bad, man! You're bad, man!

Okay. Alright.

Whoo, yeah!

Oh, we're gonna be back in just one second.

Keep that thing going.

Oh, Coolio, what's happening? Welcome, man. Welcome!

- I just thought I'd...slide. - Huh!

- Slide. - Right.

Slip and slide on down to check out Player's Ball with you.

Well, alright, man. Well, take a fantastic voyage to your seat.

You know? Welcome, ladies. Welcome.

- Alright. Uh! Ah! - Baby!

Look at all these people. They really turned out.

Well, it's a Player's Ball, baby, it's a player thing.

Oh, my good.. Oh, man! Oh my goodness.

My, my.. Man, I don't know how to thank you, man.

I-I never thought that this many folks would show up

for the, fot the old theater.

Oh, man, well I told you it was gonna work.

Well, look, we gon' keep the show going

so let's get you to your seat

so yu can enjoy that.

Oh, oh, oh, it's Pam.

Man, I've seen Pam already, alright.

She rolled up here with us. Where was you at?

No, I'm not talking about Pam. I'm talking about Pam Grier.

Foxy round, dawg.

Excuse me? Where do the judges sit?

- Uh, right this way. - Oh!

You know I-I've been a fan of yours for an awful long time.

- You know that now-- - Yeah, how long?

Well, I wish Willona from "Good Times" was here.

Excuse me, handsome. Would you show me my seat?

There's your seat, right there. Yeah.

Never mind, honey. I'll find it myself.

Oh, Ja'net, come on, girl.

You know I was just jivin' you, right?

Come on, look, I hope you have a good time.

Okay. Come on. Come on.

Ah!

Well, look, we gonna keep this show rollin'

please keep it going Detroit.

A big round of applause for your M.C.

Dick Anthony Williams.

But you know him as..

...Ready Tony.

Now, you all know the rules. You all know the rules.

Everything is everythings.. Let's come on with the come on.

Get down with the get down.

But before we get down I got to introduce you to our judges.

We got two local player arrested

'Gina Waters and Pam James.'

'Give it up.'

And I know you all know Willona from "Good Times."

Give it up for Ja'net Dubois.

And you all better watch yourself

because I know a fake player when I see one.

This next lady was Foxy Brown.

Well, she's still brown and she's still foxy.

Give it up for Pam Grier.

How you doin', sweet babies?

Now, I like to introduce you to our players.

The first contestant tonight

is Mr. Dolemite himself

Rudy Ray Moore.

Give it up. Give it up!

Love, peace

and hair grease y'all!

Alright, now, our next player is know as Huggy Bear.

Give it up for Antonio Fargas.

Hold up!

Hold up. Wait a minute. Stop it.

Now, that's just wrong.

How y'all gonna let him steal my song?

Everybody knows I'm the regional player..

...from the Himalaya!

What's happening, baby? Alright, okay.

It's all about you.

Now!

Since me and you can't get along..

...let's get it on!

Our first competition for tonight

is Best Player's Call.

Players! Let's hear you call!

Yes, I'm Dolemite.

Fine and uptight and out of sight.

Yes, I'm divine

and guaranteed to blow your mind.

And I ain't lyin', baby.

Hey, uh, chica-baby, chica-baby.

Hey, girl..

...you know what to do.

Bring it on home.

Suki, suki, suki, su.

Ah!

Y'all wanna hear my black call?

I said, do you wanna hear the black call?

Yeah. What's happenin'?

Can I speak to Sonya?

What's happening?

What's the matter?

You can't call nobody?

Alright, now, I want you to get ready

for the player

with the coolest player struts.

Listen, since you don't recognize a real player

why don't you strut your stuff off stage.

Boy, you better shut your mouth

when you hear grown folks talking here. Sit down!

Alright, now, I want you to get ready

for the talent portion of our show.

Thank you, baby.

Trixie...who's the man?

You is the man.

And baby...who's Player of the Year?

You is, cat-daddy.

Antonio.

I wanna dedicate this song

to a special lady in my life.

Pammy.

Oh, you are so sweet, Jerome.

Not you, Jock.

I'm talking about Sheba baby.

This one goes out to you, girl.

All my years and fears and my tears.

You can't do that! Oh, no, no, no, no.

Get on back, get on back in there, bro.

You can't do that with the judge.

- Okay, hey! Hey, y'all. Hey! - Alright.

Okay, we have our two finalists.

Finalist number one.

Antonio Fargas.

And finalist number two.

Jerome.

Alright, now, whoever gives the best response

to this next question will be Player of the Year.

- Okay, alright. - Yeah.

Antonio..

...what would you do to change the world?

Well...since this world is mine

I wouldn't change nothin'.

You see, y'all just some squirrels up in the trees

trying to get these chestnuts.

Alright, J-Jerome? Same question.

You ain't got to get sarcastic.

Okay, well apologies to you.

Okay, let me think for a second.

Okay.

If this world were mine

all Cadillacs

would be 27 feet long.

With a diamond in the back.

Sunroof top.

Diggin' the scene with a gangsta lean.

Hoo! Hoo!

Hold it, hold it. Hold it, everybody.

We want you to know this little gala has raised

enough money to save the Mackey Theater.

Oh, wow! Hey-hey, y'all.

See, I mean, I can't thank you enough.

And the next time you at the Mackey Theater

if you order yourself some popcorn

the butter's on me.

Well, you're all players to us.

But tonight there can only be one Player of the Year.

And he is..

...Jerome!

I've got to give it to you, Romey.

You're a true player.

Well, I gots to give it to you, Antonio.

You're a true player yourself.

Now give me pound on the side that's brown.

See you 'round town.

Hold it, hold it. Hold it! Hold it!

This, this party is not over!

Let's put our hands together one more time

for Outkast.