Original subtitles

You still trying to fix that hot water pipe?

No, I got this, baby.

Ah. It's a rough one, but you wanna dig on it.

- Honey. - Yeah.

What do you know about plumbing, baby?

What do you mean what I know about plumbing?

I know I got to fix this 'cause the landlord won't.

Gina, I asked the man to fix this over three weeks ago.

And he ain't fixed jack, baby.

Why are you always sweating Mr. Lopez?

He's a nice man. He's probably busy with all his other tenants.

Just chill, my brother.

I'm gonna go take my shower, alright?

If somebody call me..

See, why you gon' play me?

You know, good and damn well there are no

regular-sized shower cap fit that head.

You know that.

No, no, no, girl. Go on with this.

Put that, put that on your head.

Put that around like that.

You got all, all your aura up in here.

Try that, huh?

- Very funny, Martin. - What?

It can't so fit.

Girl, I'm trying to help you so that

you don't have to stretch it, Gina.

Whatever!

Alright, well, hey, if the landlord did his job

I wouldn't have to be doing this stuff.

'Martin, you are overreacting, Martin.'

- 'Just leave Mr. Lopez alone.' - Alright.

'Martin are you messing with the water? It's cold.'

- No, that ain't me. - 'Alright. Ooh!'

What's that, Gina, the remix?

Okay, but you gotta go gently, baby.

No, look, Gina, you got to press your tape on there, baby.

- Martin, would you be careful? - I am being careful.

But you got to press your tape, see?

Martin, you are pushing too hard.

Girl, I'm tryin' keep the hawk from coming in here.

If the hawk come in here all the cold

gonna be all up in your neck. Okay?

- Martin, be careful. - Nah, I'm tryin'.. Oh!

- Martin! - Ah.

You done let the hawk up in here.

- Martin! - Okay, give me that thing.

Give me, give me that thing. Imma stuff it, Imma stuff it.

Don't be trying to turn the tables, Martin.

- You did it. - You did it.

- Oh. Yo, wassup, girl? - Hey! Cole, wassup?

- Ooh, wassup, man? - Wassup?

There's a storm coming out there, man. It's freezing!

- Whoo! - You got some hot chocolate?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gina went shopping. It's in there.

- Go on. Make yourself at home. - No. I didn't.

This is your week to shop.

You were supposed to go shopping after you got off work, baby.

No, Martin, you were supposed to go, this was your week.

Remember, we had discussed alternating weeks.

We had discussed this.

Okay, okay, what-whatever.

So basically, what you're sayin' is you ain't got no food.

Yeah, Gina didn't go shopping

and she's breaking windows, man.

Oh, look. I guess I got to get the door, huh?

Trying to make me feel like I'm Mr. Belvedere! Huh?

- Wassup? Hey, hey. - Hey, man.

Whoo! We barely made it here, man.

They're starting to close down the streets.

Well, we're going to have to order a pizza

because Martin forgot to go shopping.

- I did not forget to shopping-- - Yeah.

Yo-you know, that's not the only thing Martin forgot.

Ahh!

- What's that? - It's an eviction notice.

It was tacked to your door...loser.

Aah!

Where I'mma live?

I knew it.

This is all your fault, Pam.

They don't want me having pets up in my place!

- Get the leash. You got to go. - Martin.

Why, why, why are they gonna evict us?

Didn't you pay the rent?

No. I ain't pay no rent.

Not last month. Not this month.

And they be lucky if they get something next month.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Not until the landlord

does what the landlord supposed to do.

Martin, you haven't paid the rent in two months? Why?

Because he's raising our rent

and he don't do nothin' around here, Gina.

I mean, I ain't paying no rent increase.

I'm on a rent strike.

I ain't paying the five.

Well, there are a lot of things that need to be fixed.

- I'm with you on that. - Word.

I went on a rent struck once against mom.

I just told her, "I ain't payin'."

Well, then what happened?

A-after the doctors took the shoe out of me

we came to an understanding and I paid her

but I'd damn if I'mma give that shoe back.

Yo, Gina, please turn up the heater somethin'.

- It's freezin'. - Ooh.

Baby, there is no heat comin' out of the heater.

Oh, man.

Look, Martin, Mr. Lopez turned off your heat

'cause you didn't pay your rent.

Alright. Look, everybody, stay calm.

Alright?

Now, we're all men around here.

There's only one woman up in here, and that's my baby.

You better be quiet, Frosty the Shortman.

- Oh, my God!! W-what was that? - Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry. That's my stomach.

Look, I'm too hungry to play

so I-Imma just, Imma just watch, you know, go ahead..

Oh, damn! Ooh!

Oh! It smell like ravioli!

Cole, Cole, don't be lettin'

no hungry aromas off up in here, man.

Next time that happens you gon' have to roll!

Man, that's just despicable, man!

That-that's nasty, man!

Look, just shuffle the deck, jackass of spades.

That's it, you got to go! Roll!

Martin, Martin, that wasn't me.

Excuse me.

I'm-I'm hungry, Martin. I'm a little hungry!

- You my woman! - I'm sorry!

Baby, my mouth was open! My mouth was open!

Stop making a big deal.

I'm-I'm-I'm hungry too, man!

I mean, I can't play no cards!

Okay, alright, everybody, alright.

Since we're stuck here, let's just order somethin', okay?

Okay, uh, now, there's a, a pizza place

about four blocks from here

but the only person I know that can make it in this blizzard

is the abominable Snow-Pam.

Why can't you go, Martin?

I mean, we could just get a big rubber band

and fling your little ass right over there.

What we need is some poor soul who doesn't know any better.

- I-I-I mean.. - Say what you say--

I-I-I mean some, some brave soul

who's used to working in this rugged kind of weather

to go get our pizzas.

Yeah.

Uh-uh! No! No! Get out! Get out!

I ain't going. You ain't gettin' me to go out there in the cold.

T-tell him about what's gonna go be on it.

- Pizza, Cole! I mean anchovies. - Ooh!

- Pepperoni. - Yo!

- No! No! No! Come on, y'all. - Don't forget the onion!

Y'all ain't gonna be able to make me do this. I'm sorry.

- Uh-uh-uh, bell peppers. - Yes!

- Uh, uh, extra cheese. - Mushroom! Mushroom!

You ain't gonna make me do it!

Hey, C-Carl, Carl, y-you don't even have

to use your own money, man, look at it.

You hear him, Cole, y-you don't

even have to use your own money, Cole.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Come on, man.

Time to roll, Cole.

- I'll go! - Alright!

That's my boy! That's my boy!

- Yeah! Go get it! - Okay. Okay.

So what you want, tell me what you want.

We want a large pepperoni pizza.

- With-with extra cheese. - Okay, okay.

Get move on it 'cause they close in 15 minutes.

- Alright, alright. - Hey, hey, hey.

So you-you're, you're really

depending on me for this, huh?

Hey, man!

- Are we dependin' on you? - Yeah.

Man, it's been about you for the longest..

- Hey, who's it about? - It's about you, Cole!

- You are the man! - Hey! Yo!

Why don't you go get that pizza? Why don't you just go get it?

- Go get it. - I'm the man, huh?

- Yeah! - Is the man?

- You're the man! - You're the man!

That's what they say! I'm goin'!

- Go, Cole! - Go on, Cole!

It's about you, Cole! Boy!

Y'all think he gonna make it?

In this blizzard? Please!

Ain't no way in hell.

I'm hungry. Where's Cole with these pizzas?

Oh, baby, baby, that might be Cole right here.

Be Cole now. Hold on, man! Yeah?

What's happenin', chief?

What's happenin', James? What's up?

You know my sales slogan.

You want it, I got it. If I ain't got 'em, Imma get it.

So get it while it's gettin' is...good.

Hustle man's out here in this kinda weather.

What you, what you sellin', hustle man, what you--

I got somethin' I know you gonna dig.

I got a special on some free range chicken.

What the hell is free range chicken, man?

It means for me, it was free.

For you, it's gonna cost in the range of $15.

Man got damn hens on a branch.

What the hell is..

Uh, w-what, I mean, w-what..

I mean, we're not buyin' no damn barbecued pigeons, man!

We don't want none!

- I'm starving! - Just one, please?

- That smells so good! - Of course, puddin'.

That's my special sauce.

I made it with pork and bean juice.

See, what it is, you got to marinate it

for three to two days.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Marinate it for-- - Yeah, you marinate.. Yeah.

So-so-so do you use honey?

- No. - In you pork and bean sauce?

Oh, that's passe. We use molasses now.

- Molasses? - Yeah, 'cause it's thicker.

Man, man, you, man you gonna get your seagull-sellin' ass

on up outta here, man!

Stop, man! Ain't no tryin' to buy. Step!

It's your loss, chief!

Your loss! It's cold in here.

What, you ain't pay your rent?

Martin!

Y'all sittin' there tryin' to buy three them damn chickens

uh, pigeons on a branch, man!

Y'all don't know where he got that!

Stuck it right through the pigeons!

And y'all tryin' to buy it.

Martin, look, Cole's been gone for over an hour now, man.

Pam, take, take your claw out of the glove please

and turn on the radio, just take it out--

- I got it, pam. - Stop startin' with me, Martin.

'Snow drifts are up to 20 feet high.'

'All major roads are closed.'

'In other words, if your ass ain't home'

'you better get there 'cause I'm out.'

Hey-hey, Gina, Gina, why don't you look out the window

see if you see Cole comin'.

I don't believe this.

Oh, my God! Yo, look!

The snow's all the way up to the fourth floor!

How could the snow gonna be up till the fourth floor?

- That's what it is! - Yo, I am goin' out there!

I-Imma find my boy Cole!

He put his life on the line for us, man!

- I'm gonna get him. - Martin, be careful.

- I'm in the snow. Listen, girl! - Yes.

- If I don't come back. - Yes.

I'm somewhere in the damn snow! Alright?

- The pizza! The pizza! - He got the pizza!

- Get the pizza! - Come on.

Don't worry about him.

Oh! We're gettin' ready to munch!

- Oh! - Aah!

Okay, okay, we got to be smart about this

'cause we gonna be here a minute, okay?

Now, uh, we got one bottle of water.

- Got it. - Okay. One can of creamed corn.

We got half a tube of toothpaste.

Tommy, whatcha got, bro? Whatcha got?

I-I found a peanut in the coat.

Okay, 'cause we're gonna need that peanut.

Bring the peanut right here.

Now we gettin' somewhere. Okay.

Pam, how much food you got stored up in your cheeks?

Lok, I know she got food 'cause--

That's very funny, Martin.

I'm sure you have some lucky charms

somewhere hidden on you, little leprechaun.

Yeah. They're magically delicious!

I'mma tell you. I'mma tell you, girl.

- Alright? - Don't tell her, Martin!

It's all your fault, man!

Why don't you just pay your rent like anybody else?

What did I say to you, man?

Alright? Don't show off 'cause that's your lady.

I am not payin' the five!

I ain't payin' no rent increase!

Now, if y'all don't like it

you know, now, you can two can match up and leave!

- You know, that's it. - Oh, trust me.

We would if we could, but we can't

because we're snowed in, Jiminy Cricket!

We gotta ration the water.

Everybody gets a capful.

- Okay. - Okay?

Alright, hold on. Hold on. Got your cap there.

Blaow! Got a splash there. Splaaw!.

Okay, Gina, come on, get your water.

Don't forget about the brothers who ain't here.

Cole, Cole, Cole, stop. What are doin', man?

We are about to be the brothers who ain't here!

Gimme the water. Gimme the water!

Gina, come on, baby, come get your capful.

- Come on. - Mm-hmm.

What you mean uh-uh? You gotta drink water, baby. Come on.

- Yeah. - Mm-mmm.

You gonna get dehydrated. Now, come on.

- I need you to drink. - Oh, Martin!

Martin, she ain't right. Look at her, man.

She's hidin' some food in her mouth.

What? Wait a minute. Mm-hmm, my ass.

You got crumbs on your cheek. Crumbs on your cheek.

Whistle, Gina?

Your man needs you to whistle.

Blow out.

Blow it.

- Oh. - That's..

I can't help it. I gotta eat!

- I'm feelin' lightheaded. - Feelin' lightheaded.

Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!

Alright, hold on!

Back up off my baby! Y'all hold on.

- Okay? Alright, now hold on! - Did not!

Now, ain't nobody puttin' my baby out in the cold.

That's right!

Unless she don't give up on the crackers.

- Here. - Hello?

Hold on. Lopez! It's Lopez!

- Tell him we're gonna pay him. - Okay. Right. Right.

'Cause that would be best. Right? Okay.

Lopez!

- We ain't payin' ya jack! - What?

Get your fingertips in. Get your fingertips.

Fingertips in, alright?

- Ah-choo! - Aah!

- Damn it, Cole! - Nasty.

Man, that was the last match, and you got snot on me, man!

- Well, I'm sorry, alright? - Man!

What do you want me to do, Martin?

What do you expect? It's 20 below out there.

- All I can do is catch a cold! - You know what?

- I'm sick of all of y'all. - Just gimme my space!

- Gimme my space! That's it. - I don't need you, either!

I'm fine.

Look at that head on Tommy.

Lookin' like a big old milk dud.

He better not go to sleep or Imma get my grub on.

These clowns thought they had me.

I got three Tic Tacs and a packet of soy sauce

stashed in the bottom of my purse.

That'll teach them to make fun of my head.

Truth be told, I don't have a big head.

Head, head, head.

Tommy sure is crazy about me.

Look at him. He can't stop lookin' at me.

Hmm, hmm, hmm!

Lord, Pam sure got a big rump roast on her.

Phew! It's big, alright.

But I don't eat no damn swine.

Y'all that maybe some-somebody, some..

Hold on.

Sorry, brother couldn't come through the window, Martin.

There's a few snow flurries out there.

Brother man, we-we ain't got no food

if that's what you came down for, bro.

Well, wait a minute, we got us some, some fuzzy bread

with some nasty green mold on it.

Shucks.

Y'all just don't know how to eat.

I'll scrape the mold right off it.

Sho'nuff have me a wish sammich.

W-what's a wish sandwich, brother man?

Wish I had some meat to go up on it.

I'm out.

Catch y'all on payday.

Damn. Sho wish I had me some milk duds.

I ain't gonna make it, y'all! This ain't happennin'!

Look, look, I got somethin' to tell you.

If y'all have to eat me

just save some pieces for my mother to recognize me, alright?

We ain't tryin' to have no damn filet of Cole!

'You know what.'

Martin just go up there and talk to Mr. Lopez

and pay the rent, I got a few extra dollars, just do--

Oh, baby, look, keep your money.

No, Imma go talk to him, alright?

I'll go handle it, Imma go

see if I can negotiate with him.

See if I could talk to the man eye to eye.

Eye to eye?

Aren't you gonna need a stool?

Yeah, I'm gonna use the same stool I used

when I milked you, Elsie.

- Oh, y'all. - Hey, what?

- Y'all. - What's that?

I think that's.. It's the heat!

- The heat's comin out! - Hey, the water's on!

- And look, it's hot! - Yes.

Martin must've paid the rent.

Hey! Baby! Did you pay the rent?

- No. - Well, did you see, Mr. Lopez?

Oh, I saw all of him.

He's down in Mrs. Jackson's apartment

but Mr. Jackson ain't home.

- Ooh! Ha ha! - I don't..

- Mr. Lopez, how you doin'? - Hey!

Papi, Martin, papi, mi amigo.

- Hey! Hey! - Martin, look, mira, papi.

Uh, I know what it looked like

but don't let your eyes fool you, okay?

I was only fixing Mrs. Jackson's pipes, okay?

Oh, well, I'm guessin' Mr. Jackson's

gonna be glad to hear about the pipework you been laying.

Mira, Martin, mira, now that we're here

talking man-to-man, aqui, como hombre, okay?

I would like Mr. Jackson to stay out of this.

Well, maybe you should stay out of Mrs. Jackson.

Mira, mira Martin, I turned everything on like you wanted.

- Comfortable! - Oh, whoa! Okay. Alright.

Well. Cool. Then, I'll tell you what.

Alright, Imma pay the back rent

but I'm not payin' the increase.

I can't pay the five. I ain't payin' it.

- Well, I was thinking four. - Well, I was thinking three.

Hmm, Estamos aqui. Me and you, baby.

Bam! Huh, what did you say? Aqui?

Aqui! Hey!

Ric-ki-ki!

Wait till Mr. Jackson get home. Alright.

Baby, I guess it was worth it.

We didn't even have to pay the whole increase.

I'm glad you got your stuff turned back on, man.

I just stood up for what I believed in.

That's it. That's just me.

I don't blame you, man, I mean

I don't believe them trying to raise your rent $500.

Man, if it had been $500, I'd have moved, you know..

Well, 5% is still a little steep.

- That;s a lor of money. - It is a lot of money.

Five percent? Are ya crazy? Please.

- Girl, we talkin' five dollars. - What?

Uh, what? Martin?

You.. you put us through all of this for five lousy dollars?

Man! That's cheap, man!

Man, you short and you stingy!

I froze my butt off for five dollars?

I don't like the way the barrage is comin' at me.

It's like the wrath.. No, I mean, y'all are..

It-it's like the wrath is comin' down on me!

You know what? I'll be a man! Be a man!

I been waitin' to say this all year.

And I'm gonna say it, huh, and this is a good time!

Get to steppin'!

Steppin'.

Don't even try it, as cold as it is out there

I ain't goin' nowhere!

Oh, you ain't gonna step out, huh?

You ain't gonna step out? Well, hustle man got burgers!

Come on, man, you gotta let us in there, Martin!

Martin! Martin! Stop playin'! I live here too!

Well, you live out there right now!

Martin!

Riff it, riff it.

Y'all ever see that in the movie theaters?

Where they go, "The audience is listening"?

- Damn. - That brother talkin' about na?

There would be one brother, "No, I ain't seen that."