Original subtitles

Yeah, yeah.

Nipsey, give me the usual.

I just got finished schooling some of these young punks

in my ji-jitsu class.

- You know, that's right. - That's right, yeah.

Dragon Fly.

Can I get that Christmas bonus you promised me, man?

Silence. Silence!

I got your money.

But I ain't givin' it to you, punk!

As a matter of fact, Nipsey, give everybody a drink on me

except this punk, huh?

Man, you gotta stay out of the comic book, man.

Comic book? Comic book?

Hey, come on, man, you're breaking up my place.

Get off of me, stickums.

You understand? It's on.

Hai! Hai! Hai!

Hai!

Hai!

Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai!

Hai! Hai!

Hai! Hai! Hai!

Hai!

Hai! Hai!

Come no, come on.

Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai!

Hai! Hai!

You have a Merry Christmas, Dragon Fly.

And a Happy New Year to you, too, pal.

Yo, what's up?

How y'all feel?

Yo, what's up?

How y'all feel?

- 'So, Martin.' - 'Yeah?'

How're things down at the TV station?

It says Mrs. Rodriguez is out of town.

Oh, shoot, Tommy, everything is fine.

You know she got her niece, uh, Maria running things.

Oh, man, she respects me for my talent.

Why you think I got my own Christmas special, ha? Ha?

So, what you got playing, man?

Well, I plan on doing a family thing, Tommy.

That's why I want y'all down here, especially Gina.

I appreciate y'all coming out helping me with the decorations

and all that, but, uh, check this out.

I'm thinking about giving Gina her Christmas gift on the air.

- Is that right? - Yeah, yeah, check it.

- Tell me what you think? - Oh, my God.

- Yeah, you like that? - That is bad, man.

- She's gonna love it. - Yeah, yeah.

That's what I thought, I-I think she will.

I think she will.

We got your gifts wrapped.

What y'all get for us?

Pam, come on now, I already have my gift.

- I got my man, alright? - Yeah.

I really don't need that diamond tennis bracelet

that's on sale at Tasha's jewelry store

third window from the left, I don't need it.

You don't need it?

Well then, baby, you're gonna have

a very Merry Christmas, baby.

- Really? Ahh! For me, Martin? - Yeah.

Yeah, because I ain't getting you that.

You're not getting that, you're not getting that at all.

Ah, y'all, y'all ain't gonna believe this.

- I was jacked. - What?

What did they do? Did they take the pacer?

They jacked me for my clothes.

I was just chilling at the bus stop, right?

A-and this kid, you know he rolled up on me

and like, "Take everything off"

That's a really sad story, Cole.

Yo, look, I'm sorry to hear that, man

I know they caught you with a boot across your chest, man.

But you alright, you alright.

Look, y-you still coming down the station a little later?

No, no, man. I-I'm still a little nervous.

I'm still a little shaken up, I'mma chill right here.

- Y'all-y'all go ahead. - Alright. Okay.

Hey, Martin, be careful out there, man.

It's real out there.

Okay, well, uh, you gonna miss a good show.

My Christmas show gonna be the bomb, man.

I'mma, yeah, I'mma have dancing poetry, what, um..

Shoot I got even BeBe and CeCe Winans

they-they-they thinking about stopping by

doing a little something some, yeah.

- BeBe and CeCe gonna be there? - Oh, yeah, yeah.

BeBe and CeCe gonna be there.

Maybe I will check out your wack little show.

Rudolph, please.

You just mad because they won't let you play

in any reindeer game.

Five, four, three, two..

Well, well. Thank you, thank you very much.

Happy holidays to everyone.

And welcome to a very special Word On The Street Christmas.

I'm your beloved host Martin Payne.

Y'all know me, y'all know me.

And joining me is my guest host

give it up for my fiance Gina Waters.

Hello, Merry Christmas! Seasons Greetings!

- Happy Kwanzaa! Feliz Navidad! - Yeah, yeah.

Before we can start out, I wanna introduce some friends

in the audience, uh, the brother with the Christmas ornament head

is my boy Tommy, give it up for Tommy.

And sitting next to him, I'm sure you all know Blitzen.

Give it up for Blitzen!

- That's right, that's right. - What's up?

To start the show, we're gonna go back to the motherland

for a very special moment, Kwanzaa moment

with the Bookers, give it up for the Bookers.

Greetings, the first principle of Kwanzaa is Umoja

which means unity.

In this you should strive for unity

in your nation, your community

and especially your family.

Family, well, if you believed that

you wouldn't have stayed out gallivanting all night long.

You don't bring that up on TV--

Where else I will bring it up?

This a better time than ever..

Wait, wait, wait, guys, this is Christmas

this is Kwanzaa! Respect the holiday!

Come on, man, what are y'all, y'all on TV.

Look, look, please, sit-sit-sit down.

Sit down, you don't blow your chance on TV

by arguing over umoja. Umoja.

Baby, introduce our next guest.

Because the Bookers, you know, they just--

Next, next, we're gonna enjoy the rhythmic stylings

of the Dancing Johnsons.

You better be dancing, girl.

Hey, man.

Oh, they bad! Oh, they bad!

They bad, they bad, they bad, y'all, they bad, they bad!

I gotta tell you this thing gives me all emotion

when I see good dancing like that

because you just don't see good dancing like that today.

Oh, oh, they bad. Oh, they bad.

Oh, man, forget them!

Where's BeBe and CeCe at?

Yeah!

You want BeBe and CeCe.

Get her up, BeBe and CeCe.

Oh, I'm sorry about this, CeCe, I got this.

I know I asked them to get Santa down here

but damn the sleigh just got here. Hold on.

Now what's up, Santa? Are you crazy?

We-we-we on live. What's up?

I'll tell you what's up. I hate this time of the year.

That's what's up, Bruh-man.

Now I know what it is.

No, you gotta deal with them on the calm level.

He's alright, he's like, alright.

Now listen, okay, I think you better

reach back down in your bag of jolliness, okay?

And bring out some ho, ho, ho.

No. No, no, no, you better do as I say.

Or else I'll turn this Christmas into the Fourth of July.

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

As you can see, I am fully strapped.

I can go here, take one or two of out..

...or I can go here and blow us all up.

'Cause I ain't got nothing to lose.

- Alright, now, uh-- - No.

Baby, I'mma have to do this, okay?

And you gotta understand as a man

I got to handle this!

Okay, somebody's got to tell him.

Right now, uh..

Ah, now, now, now.

T-t-there's no need for innocent people to get hurt.

I mean all you-you-you need is one hostage.

Generally in a hostage situation they only want-want one

you know, because other people just get in your way.

Ah, uh, so why don't you let everybody else go--

- No. - No, baby. And, uh, keep Pam.

- You're gonna keep me? - No, I don't want her.

See, my wife left me, and I, and I lost my job

and I ain't going nowhere till I get 'em both back!

E-e-excuse me, B-B-Brother Claus

um, this is between you and Martin.

You know what I'm saying? Not me.

So, so, you know what, I gotta go visit my aunt

because she got some fierce candy yams and, uh, uh..

You haven't had your hair rolled up

with a stick of dynamite, baby?

Tommy, you better get them.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on.

You don't know, man. Wait a minute.

- Tommy. - Hold on!

- No, no, no, no. Now, daddy-- - Tommy.

Daddy gonna handle this. You hold these, baby.

He's talking about my woman..

You don't talk to my woman like that, man.

- Who the hell are you? - I'm her beautician, daddy.

I'm her..

Hold up. He handles..

Handle your business, daddy.

I'm in control.

And right now..

Oh, see, right now I want BeBe and CeCe

to sing me a little song.

Ah, BeBe and CeCe Winans

I think we got a-a little request.

No, no, no. Don't. Now, don't y'all play me.

You come right here, babe, right here

and sing that little song and sing it right.

Sing it.

There you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whoo.

CeCe, you're so fine.

'Ah, I don't, I don't wanna answer that--'

You, you answer that phone.

- No, no. - Come on, come on.

- Look, hold on. - And don't get cute.

- Alright. Come on. - Tommy, swing on.

Okay, okay, hold, okay, well, hold your horse.

- Answer the phone. - Okay.

Well, don't slam me on it

on the thing now.

Alright, okay? Easy, easy.

Yo, Martin, what's up, man? It's me Cole.

Yo, I'm watching your show, this is a funny episode, boy.

Thank you, Cole, but this, not now, it's not a good time.

Um, okay, look, I know you kind of busy and all, right?

I was wondering if I could have the last little swallow

the juice you left in the fridge.

Cole, not now, alright?

Well, how long you planning on saving a juice, man?

Listen, Cole, now I'm not playing, this is serious!

This is not a joke, okay?

Brother Claus is right here

and he said ain't nobody going nowhere

till he gets Sister Claus, alright?

If you don't get it we all done.

Hold on, I think he wants to speak to you.

Yeah, yeah. Find my baby, clown.

Find his baby, clown.

Okay. Later, Cole. Get her down here now.

Damn, Brother Claus.

Sister Claus must got you worked.

I'm not gonna say it again

if I don't get what I want in half an hour--

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're gonna blow us all up.

Santa, you've been talking that yack all night.

You done messed up my Christmas and my hair.

Yeah, you made me late for work.

Oh, shut up, man, you probably a-ain't got no job.

Now, look, Brother Claus, uh, uh, we got somebody out

trying to find Sister Claus, okay?

I don't know what we can do about your job.

There's not really much we can do.

I don't even fill out applications

but I-I think we got something you might like a little better.

Uh, uh, Maria, c-come-come tell him

what we was talking about

when you had told me about the things

that you probably could do..

Oh, yeah, that's right

If you, if you give us

the exclusive rights to your story

we'll pay you for your first interview.

And then after that, after that we-we talk about movie rights.

Yeah, you're right, you're right.

'Brother Claus it's 5-0

'there's somebody here to see you.'

'Now stay cool because we're sending 'em through.'

No tricks.

Hey, Martin, look, I found that lady you was asking me for.

Is this her?

Oh, baby.

Rufus, what the hell you doing up here

messing up these people's Christmas?

Oh, look, baby.

Times is hard and-and I-I wouldn't bring no money in

so I had to do what I had to do

to give you a Merry Christmas, babe.

By hijacking a TV station?

Oh, baby, see..

Oh, uh, we're on TV.

I done all this for you and you are worried about getting on TV?

Oh, baby, I'mma, I hold all these people hostage--

Ho-h-hold on.

Ah, uh, uh, Brother Claus Rufus

l-let me handle it, okay?

Ah, Sister Claus?

- Sister Claus? - Huh?

Oh, yeah. Hey, how are you?

Um, I don't know if you know, Sister Claus

but t-this man really loves you.

Yo, I don't know, he was all in Ms. CeCe's face to me.

- I let you-- - Oh, oh, baby, he right.

I-I love you, baby.

See? See what, see what he feels about the love for you?

Okay, Peaches, I love you too.

Oh, uh-uh, but don't touch me because you got the bomb on you.

Oh, baby, these are Rufus Jr.'s toys

it ain't even real.

Hold up. Hold up!

You had us hemmed up all night

and these ain't even real?

Tommy, drop him.

Take his chin, Tommy.

Baby, look at that, that is the Christmas spirit.

Now, that is love, honey. Look at that.

No, it ain't love, Gina, that's crazy! Huh!

He had us hemmed up all night and this ain't even real.

You can take the pin out of this thing and just throw that.

Oh, uh, hey, man, t-that one ain't no toy

that's live, you got a few seconds..

You goin', your show gonna be the bomb for real.

- Baby, I got it! I got it! - Got it, got it.

- I got it! - Got it. Ugh! Oh! Got it.

This the last Christmas show I'm coming to.

This is ridiculous. I never in my life--

My baby saved my life once again.

She got it. She saved me.

I wanna thank you for joining me on my wonderful..

Excuse me, baby.

My wonderful Christmas special.

Join us next year, same time same place.

BeBe, CeCe, take us home.

Say it, sing it, tell it.

Ah, baby.

Yeah.

- Me! Me, me, me, me! - That's for you.

I-I wanted to give it to you on the air

but, uh, you know, because of the bomb situation I couldn't.

I understand. I, can I open it?

- Open it, open it. - It's 12 o'clock.

Ah-ha, hit it.

Martin, oh, it's tennis bracelet

You said you didn't get it for me.

I got it.

- Girl.. - Love you.

Don't be beating me up.

Well, that's what Christmas is for.

- That's what it's about. - Hey, Martin.

Yeah, yeah.

Ah, why don't we go on the back

so I can let you unwrap your gift.

I mean, I got my gift..

Well, why do we have to take it to the back?

Why what's up?

We can just go right up

under the Christmas tree.

Oh, boy, under the Christmas tree?

Now, I just don't know about that one here.

You know about it. I'm about to take you there.

- I'll take you. - Uh-huh, I'll take you there.