Original subtitles

'Those were tonight's numbers'

'but still no winners.'

'That means our next drawing'

'will be worth more than $2.5 million.'

Told you, I don't play.

It's like another five dollars worth of tickets down the drain.

Five dollars? Tried twenty. That was my haircut money.

That's what's bad luck. I wouldn't had no luck at all.

You know what? Y'all killed me.

Y'all ain't gonna win no lottery.

Tommy, you got a better chance at growing a shag.

Shut up.

- Right back through here, okay? - Leave him.

And you, Pam, you know damn well you need to be saving your money

to get yourself out of that kennel.

Cole, you got better chance at flippin' Janet Jackson.

That's what you get.

Oh, really? Is that the word on the street?

Okay, lotto machine, now open. $2.5 million.

Move outta my way.

Look at here, Martin.

How about loan your brother a dollar?

Cole, didn't you hear what I just said about the lottery?

Yeah, yeah, damn the lottery. I'm going to call Janet Jackson.

Yo, wassup?

How y'all feelin'?

Yo, wassup?

How y'all feelin'?

'Okay, so, what were those numbers again?'

26, 12, 22, 19, 4, 15. Well, alright!

That's what friends are for. Alright, bye.

Pam, who were you talking to?

Oh, that was Deion Ward from the psychic hotline.

She was giving me my lucky numbers.

You know, she says somebody put roots on me.

Pam! You know what?

This lotto stuff is driving you crazy.

Deion said you would say that.

For real?

Oh, man, you should have seen me. I was here, Gina.

Oh, I was shaking 'em just like Jordan, Gina, oh.

Yeah, and we retired him just like Jordan.

Did you get the tickets, Tommy, did you get the tickets?

Baby, I got your tickets. There you go.

Pam, I can't believe you still playing the lottery.

Oh, laugh now, little man.

You're gonna be even smaller when I'm looking down at you

from my penthouse.

Because when I get this money

you ain't get nothin', nada, zilch.

Martin, no, no, brother, a man is only as big as his dreams.

Yeah, well, you keep hanging out with Pam and all your dreams

are gonna turn into nightmares.

Oh, y'all keep talking about winning a lottery.

I mean, Tommy, what would you do if you won?

Quit your job? Oops, my bad.

Yeah, 'cause he ain't got no job. We know already.

You'll be like, hey girl, now I know why we're together

'cause we're here, Gina, we're seeing eye to eye.

Psych, Tommy, there.

No, seriously, I mean, Cole

you wouldn't even know what to do if you had $2.5 mil.

Uh, I'd give half to moms, half to Big Shirley.

Other half, I keep for myself.

How y'all sound, man?

You can't get something for nothin'.

This is America, if you want something

you gotta work hard for it.

At least that's what they say.

You know what, my baby is right.

And when he's right, he's right. Y'all better listen to my man.

No, no, no, well, let me take one more jab at it, okay?

Baby, jab on.

Ain't no such thing as a free ride.

Well.

And, Pam, you should know that most of all.

How much money you charge 'em kids

to trot you around the park?

Alright, everybody, get your tickets out.

Tonight's the big night.

Nipsey, the tips tonight are great.

So that means I don't have to pay you this week, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

It works out for the both of us, huh?

Huh? Yeah, it sounds crazy.

Hey, Martin. You betting tonight, man?

Yeah, I'm betting, Nipsey.

I'm betting none of these fools

win a damn thing.

That's what I'm betting.

You know, when I win the lottery tonight

I'm gonna buy me a nice big beach house.

Just me and Denzel Washington.

Hey, Denzel Washington?

- Uh-- - Hey, yo, what's up?

You're gonna be there too, baby.

Denzel will just be serving us drinks. Naked.

Maybe I should have bought some more tickets, huh, Tommy?

You know, y'all are bugging.

You're throwing away all your hard earned money.

You know what, baby?

I'm really glad that you stuck to your principles

and didn't get involved in all this.

- One, two, three. - Thank you.

- You better make me some money. - Hold up, Gina.

Gina, I thought you said we weren't involved.

No, I said I'm glad you didn't get involved.

But don't worry, if I win I'll break you off a piece.

Fine, fine.

I guess there's nothing left for me to say, but good luck.

- Thank you. - Good luck.

Okay, I see how you want to play it now, Martin.

- He want to wish us good luck. - Yeah.

Martin, we can see right through you.

You just want to get next to the winner, so you don't miss out.

Let me tell you something, Tommy.

I know the value of a dollar.

I buff floors.

Uh, well, so I delivered mail.

I even worked at Hoochie Burger, flipping burgers, Tommy.

Okay, I represent the working man

and I don't have money to throw away, thank you.

Quiet, here goes the numbers.

'Tonight's winning numbers are 18, 22.'

- 22. - '14.'

- 14. - '6.'

- 6. - '4.'

- 'And 56.' - Damn.

All your hopes, all your dreams, gone down the drain.

Ah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Woo-woo-woo-woo!

Woo-woo-woo-woo!

Oho! Aha!

Martin, what is going on?

I won! I won!

I play one ticket and I won that lottery.

Two and a half million.

We won! My baby won! My baby won! We won!

- Baby, we won! - Oh, I do.

'Yes, make sure, make sure to you too. Uh-huh.'

Listen, home shopping chump. Yeah, give me two of everything.

Uh-huh.

I want a gold pool, stick, to speed boat, all that.

Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. Ouch! How long have you been doing it?

Hey, Martin, don't forget to get that a StairMaster

for Big Shirley, yeah.

Yeah, give me a StumpMaster for Big Shirley.

Yeah, alright, and I want it delivered right away.

Thank you. Alright.

Woo-woo!

Let me see. Let me see.

Ah, yeah, I like it. I like it.

See, ain't got the dirt up under the nail.

That's nasty. Nasty.

Okay, let me take care of you.

Yeah, yeah, cool, I'm there.

Well, I got my ear. Gimme about it here.

Okay, cool. Alright, take a little big.

Get on out of here. Alright, go on.

Go on, go on outta here. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.

Listen, y'all may wanna be on standby 'cause later on

I might need to shape up, okay?

Alright.

Alright. Yo what's up, man?

- What's up? - Yo, look at here.

Give it here. Alright, now.

Hey, why don't we go back to our old high school and buy it?

You know what I'm saying?

Ah, Cole, that's funny. I like it though.

But you know what? I ain't got time.

I ain't got time in London, Paris or Africa.

Oh!

- Boom shaka-laka. - What is that? Boom shaka-laka.

Hi, babe.

Martin, where did you get all this stuff?

Well, baby, you know, just went out

and brought me a little something, something.

That's awesome. Thanks.

Sweetheart, I can't believe

you're spending money we don't even have yet.

Gina, that's money in the bank.

What is you talking about?

I'm a millionaire.

If I want something, they just put it on my tab.

And don't you worry, girl, 'cause on Monday I get pizaid.

I know, that's right, boy. Come Monday we're gonna be pizaid.

Cole, Cole, I said I, not we, okay?

Get-get the sugar daddy out of your ear. Flick 'em.

Yeah, alright.

- Okay. - Alright.

Sweetheart, I just think we need to slow down a little bit.

I mean, let's-let's pay for the wedding

and save the rest for a rainy day.

Okay, cool. Cool, you're right.

Then I guess I gotta take back what I bought you.

You don't need this.

- Let me see it. - I thought you don't want it.

I thought you don't want it. Now you don't mind.

Look at you, huh?

Oh, Martin.

- Yeah. - Oh, baby!

- Yeah. - A cashmere coat?

- That's right. - Sweetie, oh.

And Donna Karan shoes.

Oh, these are bad, Martin.

Well, I don't know if they're Donna Karan

or Don King or Don Kennedy.

But it's all good, Gina.

It's all good and it's all yours. Ha-ha.

- Martin, baby. - Yeah, baby.

What I'm gonna tell you is--

Get the shoe. Pick up the other shoe. Yeah.

Those are Donna Karan.

You don't, you don't let one shoe stay on the floor.

- Baby. - Yeah, baby.

What I meant to say is we're rich and rollin', baby.

Yeah, that's right. That's what I was tryin' to tell you.

That's why I go out and buy all this.

What's up?

Look at you looking as good as you wanna look.

Alright, what's this thing? I like it. I like it.

What's that?

What's happen?

Oh, you went to gym, bro?

Ouch!

I can hurt you. Well then, get off me!

So how you doing, Scrappy Doo?

Scrappy Doo? Did you hear what he called me? Scrappy Doo.

I love it when you call me Scrappy Doo.

What, you want me to do another one?

Please do it. Let me--

Okay, okay, another one.

In this-in this ear. In this ear.

What you doin' here, Nappy Longstocking?

You know what I'm saying?

Get off me! Get off me!

So, did you get the check yet, bro?

Oh. No, not yet.

But when I do, I'm gonna be sure to invest in you.

- Oh, really? - Sure.

Fine Clydesdale like you.

I'll have you in the derby in no time.

Just bugging, girl, ride them. Bug them, ride them.

Bug them, ride them.

Martin!

All in there. Rolling.

Martin, why don't you stop?

No, no, no, that's okay, Gina. That's okay.

I love it when he's like this. I'll be over here.

Yeah, you just stuck over there.

Martin! Martin, look.

I test drove those cars like you wanted me to, right?

You know, I think-I think I like the Ferrari the best.

What? How-how's the engine? Is it, rum-rum?

No, it is better than that. It is rum-rum-rum-rum-rum.

Is it? Alright.

Okay, well, do you want you a Ferrari?

I say you want you a Ferrari?

Hell, yeah, I want me a Ferrari.

Alright. That's what I'm talking about.

Well, I tell you what. You go get me one.

You go get you a Ferrari.

Ah, Cole...do you want your Ferrari too?

Sure, you're right.

Alright, everybody gets a Ferrari.

My boys get Ferrari.

- Yeah. What? - Oh, oh, oh, my bad. Come on.

Now, you know Big Shirley ain't gonna fit in that Ferrari.

You know what?

- We can drop the top. - We can drop the top.

Grease her sides, and slide her right in.

- Yes! - Yes.

Alright, cool, man. I'm with that. I'm with that.

- That's cool. - Okay. Okay.

Now that I have everybody here, I got something for y'all.

- Gather up. - Oh, shut up. shut up.

Somebody dab me. Am I hot?

- Okay. Okay. - Step back.

Let him sit down. Easy, easy, easy.

Alright. Yeah.

No, no, give me, give me a little room.

No, no, you can slide in.

It's just your breathing was all on my neck.

Alright. Come on in.

Everybody sit on back.

We're back.

- I'm gonna tell you like this. - Okay.

I shouldn't get y'all nothing after the way

y'all treated me at Nipsey's.

- What? No. - No, no, no.

- That was Tommy. - No, no, no.

Tommy was really upset that day. And he didn't know how to--

See. See when y'all thought y'all were gonna win the lottery

that's when y'all started treating me all nasty.

No, he's crying.

Alright, don't fight. Don't fight. Don't fight.

Now alright.

But you know what? I'm a bigger man than that.

- I'm putting that outta-- - You're much bigger.

And-and-and-and very, very good looking might I add.

That was good, Pam.

Well, you may add that.

Now they say money can't buy friends.

Money is, you know is the root to all evil.

But guess what I say. But guess what I say. I say they lie.

- Hell they lie! - They damn lie!

- Now.. - It's just a lie.

I wanna give y'all something.

And I wanna do this in random order.

- Okay. - So here we go.

I'm gonna take it out here.

I'm right here.

No, passed you. Right here.

And there you go.

Alright. Alright.

Amen. Okay, alright.

- What is it, baby? - Oh, my damn.

What? Show.

A check. A check for $2000!

Woo! Baby!

Man, I don't-I don't-I don't know what to say, man.

Except...what time the bank close? Let me go!

Okay. See what do we got here.

It's me. It's me. It's me.

No, no, no. You need to calm down.

You need to calm down. We're going here.

Yeah.

Woo.

Oh, this is my biggest payday ever.

'What is it?'

Ooh, I ain't seen this many zeros

since Big Shirley stepped on the scale.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Whoo!

You know what?

I know that we've had discrepancies in the past

but, Martin, you know, this is so good to have you as a friend.

Girl, go ahead.

I mean, you've been with my woman for while.

Why shouldn't I? You know, I better stop doing this thing.

- That's so nice of you, baby. - You didn't. No, you did.

What is this?

A gift certificate.

Good for one week

at Mr. Murray's House of Body Waxing.

Martin, how could you?

- What do you mean how? - Sweetie?

What you mean how could I, Gina?

Ah, it's Pam, that's well over $2000 worth of work.

Look up on her neck, and see--

Get off. Get off.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Damn.

All the money in the world ain't gonna make me

kiss up to you anymore.

Tommy, Tommy. Here we go.

See you later, you little paratrooper, you.

Baby, I don't know about this.

I don't-I don't want our friends to feel alienated.

What, Gina? No, baby, it ain't like that. Look.

- Cole, Cole! - I'm serious. I'm serious.

- Hold on. - Are you alienated?

No, I'm a Baptist.

Where have you been? You are late.

I'm late because I got it like that. Plain.

Don't you push me, Martin.

Woman, why would I push you? I'm not trying to get no hernia.

That's it. You are done at Channel 51.

Uh-huh, well, frankly, you don't make me..

No, nevermind, 'cause tomorrow I collect my riches.

Now leave me alone.

Looking like a chia pet and glasses. Get on--

Who are you talking about? Who are you talking to?

- Get on outta here. - Look at you in that jacket.

- Well, then go. - You got in the salvation army.

Don't you talk to me, uh-huh.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi. - Martin.

What is all this about?

Oh, that's just Bernice.

Oh, Miss Rodriguez, I rolled up on a lot of money.

Yeah, yeah, Miss Rodriguez, I won the lottery. Yes.

- You won the lottery? - I'm rich.

Oh, Martin, that's terrific.

No, money. Oh, oh, oh.

Hey, wo. No, no, that's my money.

That's my money, not your money. My money. That is my money.

Oh, but, Miss Rodriguez, I gotta tell you, I owe you.

'Cause you took a chance on me when I was asked out.

So if you will have me, I wanna collect my $2.5 million

right here on Channel 51.

Come on. Talk to me. Tell me something.

- Oh, I like that. - You like that?

I'm gonna call the lottery people right now.

Okay.

The common man accepting

his millions on the job.

That's right. That's right.

See, I won't forget my roots.

That's right. I'm a simple man.

I'm a common man.

Now, Miss Rodriguez, the money won't change me.

Money won't change me at all.

Coming through. Coming through.

Oh, hello.

Baby, let me help you get down. Here, watch your step.

Now come on. Ha-ha.

- Yeah, what's up? - Hi.

- Baby. - Yeah?

- The jackets? - Now don't worry about that.

Get used to it, Gina, 'cause this is all part

of being rich.

All this money we've gotten.

Now I know what Oprah goes through every day.

Pose, baby, pose.

Alright, bye-bye now. Excuse me.

- Oh, baby. Baby, time to go. - I gotta go. Thank you.

Time to go. Watch your step.

Gina, this is the moment we've been waiting for, girl.

- Oh, baby, I'm so nervous. - We get ready to get paid.

You hear me? Don't be nervous.

Cash rules everything around. Dollar-dollar bill.

- Ooh, that's fine. - You hear me? Here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press

something most unusual happened here today.

I'm happy to announce the biggest tie ever

in the history of the lottery.

Biggest tie?

A 300-way split. Congratulations to you all.

Wait a minute!

Wa-wa-what does this mean?

It means you get a big fat $50 a year before taxes, chia pet.

Still living large?

Well, here's your slice of the American pie.

Okay, next!

Oh, I tell you what's next.

Your ass wooping is next.

Well, look, I appreciate that.

Yeah, well, she didn't mean it.

Yeah, well, thank you.

I'm telling you I appreciate it. Alright.

Baby, that was the lottery man.

He's gonna drop the charges.

No, baby.

He said he, you know

he understands people just get

like that, you know, when there's a lot of money involved.

Yeah, I mean, I went nuts.

Yeah, I know, but he said his neck a little sore

but you know, put some..

- Ooh! - Oh, baby.

Baby, how we make out, honey?

Okay, well, let's see. Let's see.

I-I took back the StairMaster, the pool table, the motorcycle

elephant man's bones.

I'm gonna call Michael will see if he want to buy those back.

Other than that, I say..

Ah, we're still about $1000 in the hole.

- Ouch. - Ouch. Ouch.

But you know what? You know what?

I'm not-I'm not gonna hang my head low. Nah, nah.

We just got to make our millions the hard way, that's all.

I ain't gonna hang my head down. I ain't gonna put my--

At least we got to be millionaires for the day.

That's it. That's it.

- We felt it. What it was like. - We felt it.

Hey, hey, put the head up. Put it up, alright?

- Yes. - Don't let nobody drop it.

- I'm not going to. - I love you.

I love you. Goodnight.

- Hey, keep your head up. - I will.

We're not gonna hang our head down.

No, we not.

Hey, baby, let me see how you're gonna put your head up.

Um, put your head up.

- Keep it up. - Goodnight.

Martin, is everything alright out there?

Yeah. Everything's fine, baby.

And you?

I'm fine.

Me too.