Original subtitles

Um, people, people, let's go.

- Let's keep it tight. - Morning, mister producer.

Hey, what's happenin', baby.

Whoo!

Um, you wanna.. Okay, um--

- Martin, why you so nervous? - Yeah.

Uh, Gina, today's the first day at the station

that I produce a live show, Gina.

My doughnut gettin' days are over, baby.

I got to rise to the occasion. No mistakes allowed.

We goin' on live.

- Martin, you'll be fine. - Yeah.

We'll all be over at Nipsey's watching the show.

And when your name comes on the screen associate producer..

...we gonna go off!

Yeah. Yeah. You right.

I probably shouldn't worry, right?

- No. - Girl..

Hey, what's gonna happen next?

Maybe they give me my own show on Fox?

Nah, they ain't ready for me yet.

We're going in three minutes and we're gonna be live.

Dr. Trickle, we're gonna be goin' in

just a couple of minutes.

'Gonna be ready for ya.'

Excuse me, sir.

- I'm looking for-- - Not now!

I! Um..

Man, it wasn't me, man.

I was set up.

I plead the fifth dimension, bro.

I gotta warrant for the arrest of a Dr. Richard Trickle.

Wait a minute, you can't do that.

We have a show to go on

and he's our host.

Well, he's my prisoner. He's going to jail.

I-I got it, Ms. Rodriguez. Uh-uh..

Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, p-p-partner.

- Officer, w-what's the charge? - Polygamy.

Eight wives on three different continents.

- Come on, let's go, buddy. - Damn.

Making a lot of house calls, ain't ya, doc?

Oh, no, what are we gonna do?

We can't stop the show. We're on live.

I have to find someone to do this interview.

- Martin. - Hmm?

You've been on the air before.

You're gonna do this interview.

- Me? - Oh, God!

But remember, y-you said

but remember, you said..

Just get on there.

Y'all said something about my tape.

- You didn't like what I.. - In five, four, three, two..

Ah...yeah!

Yeah, wassup and what's happenin'?

Uh, before we get started

I'd like to give a quick shout-out to my girl, Gina.

What's happenin', baby? Ha-ha!

I'm Martin Payne, your relationship expert

and welcome to "Word On The street."

I'm sittin' in for Dr. Trickle.

I'm here with my first guests, the Bookers.

Bookers, please

tell us about your relationship.

I hate him.

I think he's a lyin', cheatin'

no good, two-faced bum

and I don't want no parts of him.

That's why I'm sleepin' with your girlfriends.

- You what? - And that ain't the half of it.

I'm sleeping with your cousins, too.

Bam! All of 'em!

Oh, that's it! That's it!

No! No!

No, sister, no!

Sister, no!

Calm down! Hold on!

Okay, now, y'all hold on.

Calm down. Sit down.

Come on.

Come on, calm down, sit down, hold on.

Man! You actin' like..

Come on, sister, put your shoe on.

You act like you hate each other.

You can't be like that.

You gotta be friends first.

I'm-I'm gonna say that one more time.

I say you gotta be friends first.

Well, I guess we never really thought

about that 'cause see, you know, when--

Mrs. Booker, please chill!

I got this now.

You had your turn.

My mission is to get you guys going well.

Let me do this.

Okay? I got it.

I'm gonna step down, do ya mind?

- 'Jump off.' - 'There you go'

You know, I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you.

Friendship is not what you say.

It's what you do!

I, uh, I say, love and labor

go hand in hand.

It's, uh, because we're here to help them, you know?

You know, if you can't keep a relationship together

then what are you here for?

I always believe..

...be friends..

...and be real

and everything will work out fine.

I'm the love doctor. Get outta here.

Yo, man.

Is it like that? Is it like that?

Ha-ha-ha! What's happenin'?

Saw you on the tube, Martin You were hot.

Thank you. Like the smile.

Is it like that? Alright! Alright!

- Oh, hey, Martin. - Yeah.

I saw this guy on TV tonight

that looked just like you

except he was a doctor.

Right on. Right on.

- Right on. Ah-ha! - My love doctor! Ha-ha!

Baby, how did you wind up gettin' on the show?

Well, let's just say if anybody else gets arrested

I'm the man. Ha-ha!

Well, you were great, man. I didn't know you had it in you.

Thank you, Tommy. Thank you.

He was alright.

Jealousy will get you nowhere, Pam-zilla.

Whatever. Come on.

Let's get some more hot wings.

Nah, don't--

- Martin, I wanna talk to you-- - No, no, no.

No, bro. Let me get.. Man, real quick, real quick.

Somebody now. You know I've been workin', so..

What y'all need?

Come on, man. Yeah! Lookie here.

- Give me a sip of that. - Okay.

- Mm. Mm. - Mm.

- Okay, look. - Ah.

- Love doctor. - Yeah?

Big Shirley got a little weight problem, man.

Lately she been lettin' herself go.

Snacks galore.

Help a brother out.

Okay, hold on.

Well, Cole, see, I got three words for you.

- Okay? - Lock the fridge.

- Lock it. - Okay?

Also Big Shirley has a 3-year-old, don't she?

- The youngest one? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Three-year-olds should not be eating

whole chickens, Cole.

- That's heavy. - No, man.

Big Shirley's heavy. Okay?

Now, go handle your business. I'm a love doctor.

- Get on outta here. - Alright. Alright.

Okay? Ha-ha!

- Uh, m-my turn yet? - Mm.

Oh, uh, you need this radler?

Alright, 'cause I've been here all day.

I understand.

Let's try to tighten it up. Okay.

I just feel, I feel like I'm stuck in this cycle, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Meet a woman, doesn't work out

and I'm back in the clubs lookin' again, man.

All I'm left with are the drawers.

Uh..

Well, Tommy, I'll tell you what I always tell my public.

Y-you need a woman you could trust.

A woman who's your friend.

Didn't you see my show? Didn't you watch the show?

There is this one sister that I want to get with but..

...I don't know how to approach her.

Are you straight up with her?

Yes.

Ah, this is, uh..

Okay, let me think.

Bam, um, this is what you need to do.

Okay.

You need to tell her how you feel.

And if she's a friend

she'll be right there for you.

Now get on outta here. I'm the love doctor.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, Pam, you better hurry up, you gonna be late for your date.

Mm, that's right. I hate to eat and run.

But just in case he's cheap

you don't mind if I take this?

- Yeah. - Alright.

- And listen, uh.. - What?

I'll give your bag back tomorrow.

Peace.

Ah! Mm-mm. Uh, baby. Baby.

You about ready to go?

Ha-ha. Your man a little tired.

I'm about ready to go home, unwind, girl.

Blah.. You know what I'm sayin'.

What about Tommy, baby? Look at him. He looks lonely.

Why don't you invite him over?

Didn't you get the code word? I said "Unwind."

Me and you. I was hoping to cap my good day off with a little--

Martin, just go ahead, you know?

Okay, fine.

Um, Tommy

Gina had wanted me to ask you

if you, you wanted to come over to the crib.

But if you're busy, feel free to say no.

Oh...Gina..

...I'd love to come by.

Okay, Tommy. He accepts.

Yeah, he accepts. Alright, cool. It's cool.

Why don't you just start the car, baby?

That'll help me out.

Hey, Martin, how you doin', man?

Hey, hey, wassup, Nipsey?

Hey, I saw you on the TV tonight, man.

- Yeah. - You's, you's the man.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

Right, but, uh, look, man.

I'm havin' a real serious woman problem.

No, you not, Nipsey.

All you gotta do is listen

to the love doctor, alright?

Now remember, when it comes to love

you can't do it alone.

- It takes two to tango. - Right.

Now, do what you gotta do. Get on outta here. Alright.

- Hey, give everybody a beer. - Yeah, yeah.

Ah-hah!

Right, all of you.

Hey, hey, hey, Martin. Hey. Hey, Martin.

Who's gonna pay for that beer?

Oh, uh, put it on my tab.

Yeah. Give 'em one beer.

Sip and pass. One beer, sip and pass.

'Baby, I'll be home soon.'

'Two consecutive life sentences'

'it ain't that bad.'

'Oh, Jeffrey. I'll be waiting.'

There is nothing' like a good love story. Ha-ha.

Ah..

I've gotta get up early in the morning.

Yeah...me, too.

I'm tired.

Well, what's up with you, Tommy? What you about to do?

Oh, I ain't got nothin' to do. I'm off tomorrow.

I'm sorry.

Mm.

Say, I, hey, no, I'll get that. Relax.

Thanks.

Hey, hey.

Do you know that I stood outside that concert

waiting for that punk Keith, and he never showed up?

Gina, I cannot take this anymore.

Why can't I find at least a half-decent man?

Don't you have mirrors at home?

Not now, Martin!

- I don't wanna hear it. - I'm tryin' to help you out.

- It ain't about.. Listen.. - I don't wanna hear it.

Okay, she's looking for a man.

Whatever. Whatever.

Fine. Okay, fine. I'm out of it.

Here, Gina.

Here's your bag.

Why don't you just stay here tonight?

It's getting kind of late, okay?

No, thank you, I just wanna go home

and lay in my own bed.

Uh, Pam, you know..

...I'm-I'm about to leave.

I'll can give you a ride home.

Oh, sure. That would be nice.

Good.

- Uh, Martin. - 'Yo.'

Uh, thanks for the movie.

- Bye, Gina. - U-uh, Tommy, hold on.

Baby, I got some concerns. Hold on.

Uh...uh..

You wanna take Gina's mace?

What do I need mace for, Martin?

In case you needed to calm her down, man.

Ain't no man ever been that close to her apartment before.

- She get you here-- - Goodnight, Martin.

Goodnight. Goodnight.

- Come on in, Tommy. - Thanks.

I just can't believe he stood me up like that.

It just never works out for me.

Well, I understand.

You know, Pam

a lot of men don't appreciate a good woman, you know?

Hah! You got that right.

I mean, we search all over for a soul mate

friend, someone to spend our time with

when all the time, the most beautiful

most precious things

are right under our noses

like a sweet-smelling rose.

That was beautiful, Tommy.

Hmm.

Word?

Word.

- Mm-mm-mm. - Mm-mm-mm.

We can't do this.

Not like this.

- Hey, you're right. - See? I'm right.

Like this.

So..

...what's on your mind?

You.

You know, uh, last night really surprised me.

You mean what I said?

Mmm, no, no, baby.

It wasn't what you said.

So where do we go from here?

Well, I think we should

get to know each other a little better

and take it to another level, you know?

'Cause our friendship is very important to me.

- Okay. Okay. - 'Mm-hm.'

Okay, I can deal with that.

Now, we can slow this down

as long as we don't stop.

- Do you hear me? - Um-hmm.

Okay, because I've been thinking

about this for a long time, now.

And so have I, you know?

Just if we remember one very important thing.

This relationship of ours is our business, okay?

Martin and Gina don't have to know anything.

I'm way ahead of you, alright?

- Oh, okay. - I understand.

- Cool. - Okay.

And I will see you tonight at Martin's.

I got you, baby.

- 'Hey, Tommy..' - Yeah.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Sorry.

Uh-uh, bro.

I thought you said we were gonna go half

on that headboard we broke.

C-Cole, I'm the love doctor, man.

Okay, trust me on this.

I'll send you the bill. Thanks, Cole.

Alright. Whoo!

Martin, don't you think you're takin' this

love doctor thing a little bit too far?

Too far? No, Gina. That's what I do, baby.

I help people.

Now let me help myself.

I gotta use the bathroom.

Woo!

- Hi, Gina. - 'Hi.'

Uh, Me and Pam didn't come here together.

We just happened to get here the same time by coincidence.

Uh-huh. Y'all ready to go to Nipsey's?

- Alright. - Yeah.

Whatever. Look, let me get my coat, and I'll get Martin.

- Oh, oh, oh, no problem. - Okay, get your coat.

You know, Martin is really goin' a little bit too far

with this love doctor thing.

He's driving me nuts. Y'all gotta help me.

I'm serious.

What's wrong with y'all?

Nothing.

Well, anyway, he has got to be stopped. I'm serious.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh! Come on, y'all!

Both ends of the couch?

- I'm not stupid. - What?

Girl, you gotta tell me what.. Aah!

You gotta tell me what happened, girl.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute. - Tommy, way to go, boy.

- That's what I'm talkin' about. - Wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

- Look, Gina, shut up. Shut up! - What?

If you open your big mouth to Martin

I swear, I'mma kill you!

That's right. Even though it was his idea.

Say what?

- What are you talkin' about? - Wait a minute.

- The love doctor set y'all up? - Huh?

- Oh, this gonna be good. - Wait a minute.

This gonna be good! Hah!

Wait! Wait! What are you talkin' about?

Somebody let me know what's going on.

Alright, alright, look

I asked him for some advice, okay?

Now he didn't know he was hookin' me up with you.

I just told him it was a close friend.

Oh, man! Oh!

So the love doctor

hooked up his best friend and his worst enemy.

This is gonna be too good.

Gina, please. Just don't say anything. Gina!

- Martin! Honey! - Gina!

Come here. I wanna talk to you.

Please! Please! Gina, please.

- Whoo! - Ah.

Comin' out feelin' about ten pounds lighter.

Ha-ha! What's up?

I'm sorry, I didn't even know y'all was out here.

Y'all about ready to go?

Wait, wait one minute, love doctor.

Isn't this just great, nice and cozy

all of us goin' out together, like on a double date?

No, no, no, Gina.

It ain't a double date.

It's just me, you, Tommy and Marmaduke.

But don't worry, maybe one day the love doctor

will hook you up with somebody.

You be my greatest challenge.

Love doctor never fails.

Hey, look, you're gonna have to relax

on the insults, alright?

You see the way he came at me?

That mean I better go here. Whoo!

- Did you see him? - Waa-ha-hah!

- Did you see him? - Waa-hah!

Yo, baby, did you see him?

Relax! Ha-ha! Whoo!

Damn, Tommy, I mean you actin' like this is your woman

or something, Lou Gossett.

Martin, there's somethin' that I wanna tell you.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Tommy.

Let me get my camera. This is a Kodak moment.

'Gina!'

Gina, I ain't in no mood to take no pictures now.

- Um, Martin. - Yeah.

Remember, uh, that sister I was talkin' to you

about getting together with.

Yeah, yeah. Did you take the love doctor's advice, huh?

You do what I told you to do?

- Oh, yes, I did. - Yeah. Yeah.

And I want you to know that it's all because of you

that I got this special woman.

You know what, boy? Aah!

I'm happy for you, man.

If it looks like I'm getting emotional

'cause I'm happy for you.

You feelin', are you feelin' what I'm feelin'?

You feel a calm, don't you, like me and Gina? You calm, huh?

You got somebody that got you.

Don't you feel it?

When do I meet her, man? I wanna meet her, man.

Sooner than you think, Martin.

Um, um, Martin, th-that special woman..

N-not now, baby.

...is Pam.

No!

No!

No!

Martin, calm down.

You're gonna get your pressure up

and you're gonna pass out again.

Get me the National Guard

the Guardian Angels.

Somebody got to get 'em apart.

You know, I certainly hope you learned

your lesson from this one

because I don't know how many times I have told you

over and over..

Over and over--

Alright, Gina, alright. See.

'Cause now you're gonna start rubbin' it in on me.

Okay, baby, that's it. I'm through. Okay?

The love doctor has lost his license.

- I don't want it no more. - Good.

I don't want it no more.

Wassup, love doctor.

That advice you gave me was all wrong, doc.

I told Big Shirley what you said

and she came down on me hard.

Shoot! What did she say, Cole?

She didn't say nothing!

She just came down on me.

Man, she came down on my whole right side.

I mean, Mart, she went here on some wrestling move.

I mean, like whoop-whoop

whoop-bang!

- Cole, I'm sorry. I did-- - Martin, this has gotta stop.

- Look at poor Cole. - Baby, I know--

- Look what you did to, Cole. - Cole, I'm sorry.

I didn't know Big Shirley would go up in the air

pause, and fall on him.

- I didn't-- - It's a shame.

But that's it, baby. I'm through.

- I don't want it no more. - Let this be the end of it.

- I'm.. That's it.. - Love doctor, you are the man.

- Wassup, Nipsey? - It does take two to tango.

I want you to meet Pina and Colada.

Oh, Lord. It only takes one.

Now, now, now, baby, no.

What am I talkin' about? Did I say I was goin'?

Girl, I ain't goin' nowhere.

- Mart-- - The love doctor back.

No! No, Martin! Look at Cole!

No, damn, Cole. He'll be alright. Look, man.

Y-you wanna take Gina's mace?

Mace?

You lose something over there?