Original subtitles

So, Gloria, you think you can interview

Martin for the job?

Good! Okay, great, Gloria.

I-I think it'd be better if you call him.

No, no, no. Trust me.

You call him. Oh, and, Gloria.

I don't want him to know I did this, okay?

Okay, thank you. Bye.

Gina, what did you just do?

Um, okay, Pam, look.

I know Martin's not happy

and he should be doing something that he likes.

So I called Channel 51 and I got him an interview.

Aw, Martin's woman getting him a new job.

Oh, how about you go buy him a cute little outfit

to wear on the interview as well?

Hey, Pam, I don't want you to tell anybody

about this, especially Martin.

Tell anybody?

Girl, I'mma sing it out like Toni Braxton.

How y'all feel?

How y'all feel?

Martin! When was.. Oh, hey.

Hey, man. W-w-when was the last time you bought some groceries?

When was the last time you had hair, Tommy?

Man after eight hours of buffing floors

I'm not trying to feed your big no-job-having ass.

- Man. - Hey, lookie here, Martin.

Now that we're in the same union

yeah, we can go down into meetings together.

- Mm. - Like men. Yeah.

And if w-w-we need rides

you know moms could give us ride down there.

So, how is work, man?

- Ah, better than I thought. - Yeah?

It's coming along, you know. For the first time I'm happy.

You know, I mean radio stuff was cool

but show business ain't no way to make no living, man.

- That's true. - You know?

Now I got my time. You see what I'm sayin'?

I can think, plan for my future.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, a-a-and in 40 years, man, when we be cashing out pensions

oh, we gonna be livin' large, okay?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

$120 a week tax free.

That's right. That's right. That's a lot of money.

- Oh, yeah. - Whoo.

Yeah, let me..

What the hell was that all about, man?

Hello!

Yeah.

Yeah, this is Martin Payne.

Yeah, what?

Yeah. Y-yeah.

Yeah-yeah. You mean tomorrow?

Uh-huh. Uh, yeah, yeah.

I think I can make that.

Hey, well about time y'all found me.

Alright. Alright, then.

- I'm back. - What?

Martin Mar's back, man!

I'm gonna be on TV.

That was Channel 51 callin' me about an interview tomorrow.

Y'all know what that means?

I'mma have my own show.

Okay, okay. Wait a minute. W-wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Martin, hold on, bruh.

Now, you just said that

you had it with show business, right?

And don't you have to be at work in the morning?

I should be asking you that, brother.

Cole, talk to your boy with he's jealous ass. Eh, what? What?

Let me call that..

Let me call on the buffin' boss.

Yeah. Let me speak to the buffin' boss.

Yeah, buffin' boss. Martin Payne.

Yeah, about work tomorrow. Buff this.

Martin, I can't believe you just quit a job

and you don't even have another one.

Believe it, Baldie Savalas.

- Oh, yeah. - Alright, Martin.

What is so important I had to rush over here

at00 in the morning?

First, girl, let's get some food in you.

Get you some breakfast.

Okay, now.

Baby, I'm on my way back.

I got a new job.

A better job.

- You did? - Baby.

I'mma be hostin' my show on Channel 51.

That is great. They gave you your own show?

No, no, no.

Not yet, but they're goin' to.

You went in and talked to them?

No, no, no. Not yet.

But, uh, I'm going to.

What makes you think they're gonna give you your own show?

They called me.

Girl, all this time I've been thinking too small.

Huh, now I know why it's been taking me so long to break out.

Gina, radio is cool, but no.

This face...belongs on the tisuve.

Hello, how are ya?

What do ya want?

We talkin' about on-air Martin.

Don't you need some kind of audition tape?

- Audition tape? - Yeah.

Oh, w-well, w-w-what's a audition tape?

Oh, it's a sample of a show that you've done.

Sort of like a resume on tape.

Girl, please.

Oh, I don't need no audition tape, girl.

I've been on the air all my life.

I'm a natural, Gina.

Don't you get it?

They called me!

I know, Martin.

I just want you to be realistic.

Do I have to say it again?

No.

- They called me! - They called me!

I know.

Ooh, TV.

TV station.

This-this..

Ooh.

Wait a minute.

Ah.

Tonight, in the audience

we have Smokin' Joe Frazier.

Right over here Smokin' Joe.

Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I though you was the champ.

- Get off that stage. - Alright.

Don't you have any home trainin'?

- Who are you? - I'm Mr. Martin Payne.

I'm here to see Mrs. Rodriguez for-for the job.

She's in with a qualified applicant.

I don't know why she's seeing another applicant.

I mean, they called me.

Thank you very much.

And where could we get in touch with you?

You can catch me on the fifth floor.

Bruh-man, Bruh-man, Bruh-man.

What are you doing here, Bruh-man?

Nothin'. Just chillin'.

They gonna give me this J-O-B-B.

No, you are not here for this job.

Yeah. They called me.

Hey, how you do..

How you doing? I'm, I'm Martin Payne.

I'm Gloria Rodriguez. Nice to meet you.

Ooh. Oh, Rodriguez, huh?

Well, let me say.. Whazzup?

Or should I say..

Que pasa?

You speak Spanish?

Oh, well, you know

I do a little somethin' somethin', you know?

I like to keep up with my Latino brothers and sisters, you know?

Check it out, check it out. Ah..

Coma esta inste.

Um, uh..

El Lisa Lisa.

Menudo.

Rico Suave.

All that. All that.

Ah, that was just a little jokey joke.

El-joko.

- No. - El ha-ha.

What I'm looking for is an on-air personality

with a lot of edge for a new talk show.

Well, don't push me

'cause I'm close to the edge.

- Good. - Yeah.

Let's see your audition tape.

Whoa, whoa, wait. Um, audition tape?

No, no, I don't-I don't..

I didn't bring no audition tape.

If you don't have an audition tape

then we have nothing to talk about.

Did you, did you say audition tape?

You know what? I thought you had said, new edition tape.

That's my bad. That's my bad.

Ah, you know, what I did was

I think I had left the tape in my other pants.

I can bring that in for you next week.

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Payne.

But I have to make a decision by tomorrow afternoon.

Nice meeting you.

Psych! You know what?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Did I say that I was gonna bring the tape in next week?

Why am I trippin'? You know what?

I think I can get it to you tomor-tomorrow.

Right? Right? Zoom! Right there tomorrow.

Good. Then I'll see you at nine o'clock.

Okay, right. Right. I'll be here. Pronto!

Ah, Ms. Rodriguez. I'll be here, uh..

Menena.

That's..

Manana.

Oh, oh, okay. With the plural.

Sound like a plural, oh.

Callin' my boy Cole.

Cole! Yo, Cole.

Get everybody over to the house.

It's showtime, boy. Yeah.

I'm back in the business. Yeah.

Cole, what are you doing?

You look like you should be on TV, man.

Yeah, you think so?

Kinda like a low budget Montel.

- Gina, why are we doing this? - To help Martin get a job.

Just think about it, Pam, it's the first step

to me getting out of your apartment.

Y'all got to move your asses.

- Come on, y'all gotta go. - Okay.

No, no, now listen to this. Everyone, listen to this.

People, people, we are going right away.

I'm gonna need your help on this.

I need you to make this tape look like the perfect talk show.

All of you you can help me do this. Alright?

Gina, baby. You're my first guest.

Okay? I want a lot of energy from you.

I know. But, baby, I don't know.

I-I've never been on TV before.

I'm a little nervous, eh?

Yeah, but no, don't be nervous.

I mean, trust me. I'm with you, baby.

Okay? Hey, I'm gonna make you look good on this.

- Really? Okay. - Oh, real good.

- Tommy. - Yeah, yeah?

If Gina bombs I'm going straight to you.

I'm not gonna let her jam me up on this one, okay?

Alright.

Pam. Please.

Try not to look directly into the camera.

Okay?

I'm responsible for any damage to the lens.

Hey, babe, hey. Don't listen to him, you know?

You look good.

What..

Yeah, alright. Come on in. Ah, take your seats.

We're going right away, a lot of energy. Alright.

Come on in. Alright.

Cool. Yeah, come on in here.

- Ah, Martin. - Yeah, yeah.

Who are these people?

Ah, this is my studio audience, Tommy.

As soon as the word got out that I was doing a show.

Couldn't keep 'em away, man.

Yo, man!

I got you your audience. Now can I get my money?

And where's Oprah?

You know, you're asking a awful lot of questions

for a dollar. Okay?

Now sit your ass down and enjoy the show, okay?

Only got the equipment for an hour. Let's go. Let's go.

Got the equipment for an hour. Audience, I want you in it.

Tommy, I'mma need you behind the camera.

- I got it. I got it. - Okay, uh, Cole..

You getting everything together?

Yeah, yeah. S-speak out!

Take one!

Alright!

Well, alright.

What's happening? What's going on?

Welcome to the number one talk show, "Speak Out!"

Alright. I'm your host Martin Payne.

And my first guest

is a marketing executive on her way to the top.

Please welcome, Gina Waters.

'Gina!'

- Give her a round of applause. - Thank you!

- Gina-- - Hello, out there.

Well, we're glad to have you.

- Glad to have you. - Thanks.

Alright, well, um, tell us

a little bit about yourself.

Well, I have a master's degree

in public relations and I work at a firm--

Yeah, yeah, well, look, let's get to the good part.

At what point...did you decide

to become a shoplifter?

What?

I mean, it's-it's right there. I mean..

Don't-don't-don't deny it.

I mean, Ms. Waters..

I mean, don't deny it, Ms. Waters.

Okay? At what point did you become a shoplifter?

I mean, did gambling push you into it?

What drove you to doing the things that you do?

- Oh, my.. - Speak out!

A-are you crazy? Hold up.

Tommy, stop the tape.

Stop the tape right now. I'm serious.

- Wait. Wait, wait, wait. - Stop!

Is that your answer for everything, Ms. Waters?

Because in real life you can't just stop the tape.

Speak out. We gotta pay some bills.

We'll be right back.

- Clear! - Good. Great. Great.

You're doing great. Everyone loves you.

The audience's into it. I love what your doin'.

Martin, you are humiliating me.

I'm supposed to.

Haven't you seen all the other talk shows?

How else am I gonna compete with-with Gerard doin' 'em?

- Martin. You're tellin' lies. - What?

- Lies, Martin. - Well, what about..

What about when I lied for you

when you killed my mama's bird?

What about I lie for you when you down--

Alright, alright, Martin!

You just better tone it down, I swear to God!

- I am not-- - I'mma try to tone it down.

In five, four, three, two..

Well, we're back.

Well, we're back to "Speak Out."

Gina Waters.

Tell us a little bit about your marketing job.

Well, what I do is I work with different--

Are you stealing money from them, too?

What.. Uh?

What is it? You can't handle it?

You don't want people to know--

- Shut up! - Look at her.

She got cracked under the gun.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Ah, welcome back to "Speak Out."

My next guest is a expert psychologist on relationships.

Ah, he's also the author of a new book

called "Getting the Drawers."

Please welcome to the show. Tommy Strawn.

- Welcome to the show. - Thank you very much.

- Alright, alright. - Thank you.

- How you doin', doctor? - Just fine.

Alright. Got the drawers.

- He has the drawers. - That's right. That's right.

Well, ah, Dr. Tommy Strawn, please

tell me a-and my audience, and the audience out there

uh, uh, tell the world about your secret.

Oh, oh, Martin. I don't have any secrets.

I haven't any..

Why do you lie, man?

Don't be a liar. Okay?

Explain to the world. Okay?

About your addiction to phone sex. Speak out!

What you talkin' about man? What are you talkin' about?

Oh, man. Don't play dumb. Okay?

Alright, I'm holdin' here, right here

your phone bill. Okay?

Well, look, $700 charged to "9-7-6 Strokey Doke."

Huh? Speak out!

You a pervert, aren't you?

- A pervert? - A pervert indeed.

You know what? How do you live with yourself?

Get him outta here.

Get him off my set.

Ms. James.

Would you prefer to be called miss or mister?

That depends. Do you prefer Jack or Ass?

Very funny.

Okay, please just tell the people out there

about your life as a voodoo priestess.

Girl, just hold your tongue.

W-what is it?

Some kind of hocus-pocus magic?

"Hold your tongue."

What is that? Huh?

Look, you better watch your step

or I'mma shrink you, Martin.

Oops. Somebody beat me to it, webster.

Well, as you can see..

...voodoo women not only curse others

but by looking at her face they damn sure cursed their-selves.

I can tell by the hair on her forearm.

Oh, it's gonna be a full moon.

That did it. I ain't Gina.

Get off!

As you can see, uh, it got a little rough

when that female person later attacked me.

B-b-but other than that

uh, you gotta admit, Mrs. Rodriguez.

The tape is all.

All what? Child, please.

Bernice, you will get your chance

to be on my show next week.

Okay? Now, please.

Look, Mr. Payne..

- Your tape was entertaining. - Yeah.

But it's just not what I'm looking for.

I'm sorry. I'm gonna go with somebody else.

Wow. Right in my face you're gonna tell me, you're gonna go..

Okay.

You could have called me when I got home and..

Well, it was nice meeting you.

Very nice to meeting you.

Thank you, uh, for the interview.

Ha!

M-M-Mrs. Rodriguez, look, check this out.

So what?

I-I-I don't get my own show.

I'm cool with that.

I'm not afraid to start again

work my way up to the top.

I'm a hard worker.

I-I-I can prove it if you just give me the chance.

I know I can. Uh..

I mean, what can I say.

Look, I put this tape together in no time.

You know, I have one more opening.

How does Associate Producer sound to you?

What? Huh!

Let me, let me weigh my options.

Associate Producer.

Buffin' floors.

Associate Producer.

Buffin' floors.

I'mma go with Associate Producer.

- Good. - Yeah, yeah.

- You're also messenger.. - Uh-huh.

Caterer and security.

- Cool, whatever. - Welcome aboard.

- Thank you. - See you at nine o'clock.

Alright. Hey, hey. Hey, Ms. Rodriguez you alright.

So this goes with you.

Que pasa!

Oh-ho-ho.

Yeah. I'm in the TV.

-00 a.m. sharp. - Right.

And your first assignment

is to bring doughnuts for the crew, Mr. Producer.

Alright. Right on. Well, I'll see you in the morning at work.

Mrs. Doubtfire. Boop!

- Clank, clank. - Cling dang, dang.

Da-dang dang dang.

- Mm. - Mm.

- Mm. Ooh. - Whoo.

Baby, I wanna thank you for being there for me, girl.

You know, I couldn't done it without.

Well, actually, I could have, but I wanted to include you.

But no. Thank you, baby. Thank you. I appreciate that.

- Alright? - I know that.

- You know that? - I know that you love me.

I do love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Ha-ha. Muah!

- Oh, before I forget. - Yeah.

- I bought you.. - Mm-hmm.

A name plate for your desk.

No.

- No? - No.

I don't have no desk.

Oh, baby. That's okay. That's okay.

- Alright, good, I thought-- - No, no. It's no problem.

You can put it in your parking space.

No.

- No? - No.

I don't have no parking space. Yeah.

Uh, what's, what's your extension at, at work?

Let me think.

No.

I don't have no extension.

I don't even have no phone, baby.

I'll call you.

I'll give you a couple of quarters.

Okay. Alright.

- Congratulations, anyway. - I love you.

I love you. Come here.