Original subtitles

- Eh yo, Tommy! - Hm?

Looky here, man, check this out.

I'm your brother.

What's up, Cole?

Shut up.

Would you two stop fooling around, okay?

The guests will be arriving any minute.

Oh, why'd you care so much about throwing Martin and Gina

an engagement party anyway?

You always talking about how they gonna break up.

Oh, yeah, that reminds me.

Anybody want a part in this uh, divorce pool?

- Pam, now that's cold. - Mm-hm.

See, I don't believe this, Pam, it's sick.

There's 300 bucks in it already.

You're making me shit with it.

I thought so. I thought so.

Uh, uh, uh, baby, Gina, I need your help.

In a minute, Martin. So then what'd you do?

What? Uh-uh.

Uh-uh.

Ah-ah, Gina, baby, I don't know how to iron the shirt

I need your help.

So then, so, so what else did you do, girl?

No!

Ow! Ow!

- Oh, Gina, I burnt my hand! - 'Martin.'

Lisa-Lisa-Lisa, Lisa, girl

- I'll call you back, bye. - Ow! Ow!

Baby!

- Ow! - Oh, God!

Blow on it! Blow on it!

What happened, baby?

- I burnt my hand on the iron. - Oh, shoot.

I'm-I'm get some butter.

Would you, would you finish the shirt?

- Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. - Thank you.

- Martin.. - Ow, ow.

This thing isn't even plugged in.

That ain't the point.

The point is who was you talking to, Gina?

You know we got an engagement party to go to, baby.

- Now come on, get it up. - Hey, I was talking to Lisa.

Can you believe her man Benny

disappeared for two days

said he was at the 7-Eleven.

So, what's the problem?

Come on, Martin, he didn't spend the whole weekend there.

Hey, you don't know that, okay?

They got a lot of good magazines

up there in the 7-Eleven.

If I was married to Lisa

I'd got to the 7-Eleven too

for more than a damn burrito

I'll tell you that.

So you, uh, condone that?

Leaving your woman and not telling her

where you going, you just, you know condone that.

Oh, Gina..

Now, now, I don't condone it.

I understand it, but I don't

c-c-condone it, no!

Oh, you understand it?

Y-you know, what?

I'm not even gonna talk about it because I see

where this is going, okay? It's not even--

You know what, baby? You know what? You're right.

You are right, girl.

Why are we arguing like this on the night

of our engagement party, Gina, huh?

Because me and you, we are not like Benny and Lisa.

- We are here, baby. Here! - Okay.

- Okay. Hm-hm. - Huh? Alright.

Now, look here, um, when you iron this

iron the whole shirt

not just the front of it, like you do yours, alright?

And hurry up, because we are in a rush.

Come on, baby, let's go.

Okay, Tommy

you think I got enough chairs?

How many people are you expecting?

About 20.

Yo, I don't know why didn't let me invite my friends, okay?

Big Bone Brenda now

would've got naked for nachos.

You know what I'm saying? Wild, just..

This is not one of your house parties.

Cole!

This party is classy.

I say Jerome's in the house.

- Ah, Jerome? - Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Hey, why the hell would you ask a dumb question

Heady Riley?

Huh? It's a party, ain't it?

Everybody's talking about it

down at the bus station.

Ah, man, Macaroni Tony.

And Nappy Red.

Oh, they say it's the spot here.

- Cole, you told everybody? - Huh?

Uh, no, just Nappy Red.

Okay? I have no idea how Macaroni Tony found out.

- I don't know. - Stupid.

Watch it now.

Oh! Bubbly Brown Sugar.

Oh! Look at that.

If it ain't bad Pama Jama.

Girl, look at you..

Alright.

All stacked up

like some flapjack.

- Alright. Okay. - Whoo! Woah!

Come on over here and give Jerome a hug.

So we can make pigs in a blanket.

- No.. - Mrs. Butter-world!

Okay. Alright, Jerome.

Alright, how you doin'?

- Alright, okay. - Girl, you checked it out.

Don't do me like that.

You know, I've been chasing you for a while.

J-Jerome?

Man, if nothing else don't happen in my life..

- Yeah, yeah, that's wonderful. - I gotta have you.

E-e-excuse me, m-mister, mister, Romey Rome. Uh..

- Yeah. - Uh, see, this is, no offense.

Brother, but this here, Jerome

is-is a private, uh, private party

bro, bro.

Man, slow your row, please, man.

I'm over here!

I-I realize--

Here, looking like a

big ass glycerin ball.

Alright?

Now, young man over there

invited me and my nephew.

Wait a minute, Jerome, who's your nephew?

It's the D-O-G-G

'cause that'd be me.

I hope you don't mind me and the few of the home boys

from the Dogg planning on stopping through making your

party livelier than what it was.

Hell, yeah, Snoop! We mind!

It ain't that kind of party, bro.

you got to step.. and raise on out

it ain't that kind of party in here.

Pam, chill, okay?

Yo, it's just a few more brothers

Snoop, let 'em in, it's cool, it's all good.

Cole, this is my party!

Uh-uh! No, no!

Uh-uh..

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Okay, wait a minute, y'all!

This ain't that kind of party, y'all!

Hello? Y'all, y'all got to roll.

'Cause it ain't that kind of party, okay?

Did y'all hear me?

I said it ain't that kind of party!

Don't make me go to my purse!

You know what I'm saying?

This is a classy affair!

Don't make me get the captain!

Give me that, Jerome!

- Give me that, give me that! - Don't take away..

Gina, you know I was just

playing about the shirt, baby.

Come on, now, stop acting like a baby

and open the door, Gina.

I need to get my deodorant, thank you.

You sure do needed that

the funky style, why don't you play some stinky

music, funk boy.

You know what? Fine, Gina.

Fine!

You wanna act childish?

Fine, Gina, act childish.

But I'mma be a man about this

and I will apologize

like I always do.

Gina, Marty Mart

is sorry, are you happy now?

That's all you had to say in the first place

we could've been out of here and dressed a long time ago.

No! No, Gina!

You've been in there all that damn time

and you ain't dressed yet?

Why are you playing these games?

Girl, get in there, get dressed, let's go!

Don't tell me what to do!

You don't own me.

I get dressed when I'll feel like it.

Fine. Fine.

Baby, fine, take your time you know what?

Your man was just trying to help you out.

I mean, you know how long

it takes you to put on your make-up.

Correction, go through metamorphosis.

You are the most arrogant

pompous, jack ass in the world

I wish you would just.. No, don't even..

I'm not hearing you, I'm not hearing you.

Is there somebody in the apartment?

Oh, you gonna play those games?

Fine, Martin, I will say nothing to you!

And by the way that suit you're getting ready to wear

tonight, that's tacky, tackiest thing in the world.

- Whack! Whack-whack-whack-- - I'll tell you what.

When I'm finished with it I'll put it back

in your father's closet.

Fine! Fine! Fine! Martin!

And while you're in there get my father's clippers

so you can give your mother a shave alright, alright?

That was a good one! That was a good one!

You're gonna take that back. Why you gotta there?

- Why you gotta go there, Gina? - I'm not hearing you!

I'm not hearing you!

Is there somebody in this raggedy-ass apartment?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, but why you gotta copy?

Why you gotta copy?

That's why you ain't original enough to come up

with your own sentence like I do.

- La la la la la la la! - La la la la la la la!

Get away from me! Get away from me!

- La la la la la la la! - La la la la la la la!

Oh, man! But you got to listen to your uncle.

Snoop, okay, man.

Let me tell you something

I was in the music business myself.

See, when I was your age

I was a-a-a-a new walkman and showstopper.

I had this little harmonizer thing

that used to go like this, check it out.

Yeah.

Uncle Jerome, you know

I didn't know all them old love songs and things

I'd be rapping about a straight wheel, you know that.

Smart, why don't you talk it real.

I'll tell you what's real, Snoop Doggy Dogg

when the music stops

you gotta have something to fall back on.

That's why I got my PhD

in megology.

You see I'm mixin' five different languages.

Check it out.

First one is Spanish.

Second one, Chinese.

This all good, you know what I'm saying, but, uh..

I ain't going out like that

I keep my mind on my money

and my money on my mind.

- You know what I'm saying? - Ah, see, let me see.

Your, uncle.. Why, I've got to talk to you.

Now, listen, that's the problem

with you young gippa-gappas?

Let me tell you where I'm at with mine, huh?

You got to stop wearing your pants off your ass.

You got to dress like Romey Rome.

I'm a fashion statement, man.

Check it out, Jerome

no disrespect, uncle

but I don't love them clothes.

But you love them hoes, let me tell you something, Dogg.

Get away! Tommy!

Tommy, would you help me over here?

Oh, I can't help you

I'm getting my freak on.

Come on, daddy, like it like that, come on.

Whoo!

Girl, what is she..

Ew..

Ew. What?

What do you want?

I came to get my groove on.

Oh, wait a minute.

You're my favorite quarterback.

- Aren't you Warren Moon? - No.

I'm the other one Randall Cunningham.

- Good enough. - Well, alright.

Ah, say party over here.

Why are you always making us late, Gina?

- Me? - Yeah, you.

Who else am I talking to? Yeah, you, Gina!

Huh? Baby, you do this all the time.

It's because of you we missed the first two minutes

of "Jurassic Park," Gina.

By the time we got there the only brother

and he was dead, gone, rest in peace!

Oh, you want to go all the way back to "Jurassic Park?"

Fine, I can go back even further

I can go all the way back to "Coolie High."

Girl, "Coolie High," please.

We weren't even dating then.

I know, that's why I got to see

the whole movie you all up in here with your..

Well, Gina, you got to see it all.

Well, I guess the person behind you

didn't get to see it with that

kickball head of yours, huh?

I can't see, who's it staring?

Excuse me, lady, move your head

Move your..

Excuse me, thank you.

Yeah, well, you may not have seen it, Martin

but you damn sure heard it with those satellite dishes

you got stuck on the side of your head.

Gina, you ain't..

A ear joke, ha-ha.

How clever, Gina.

How do you come up with such original material?

Baby, let me tell you something.

When it comes to the ears..

...done heard 'em all.

Done heard 'em all.

Oh, Martin, please, and the big head jokes?

Please, that was brilliant.

Where are you gonna next, huh, where you gonna go?

You know what? I'll tell you where I'm not going

Ms. My-Mouth-Just-Got-Me-In

Trouble-Trying-To-Start With-The-Big-Dog.

I won't be going to that whack ass

engagement party, I'll tell you that.

Fine, Martin, because I don't want to go with you anyway.

Girl, I wasn't trying to go with you.

- Well, good. - Well, good then, Gina.

- You act just like little baby. - You make me sick.

Ooh! You make me sick.

Don't be slamming my door!

Ugh! Yeah, ugh!

You wanna slam! You wanna slam!

You wanna slam!

You wanna slam!

You wanna slam!

You wanna slam!

Looky here, Snoop

I sent you a job application

and my resume over six months ago

nobody's got back with me yet.

What's up with that?

We was busy, dawg. What you do, dawg?

I can rap and I can sing.

I can imagine to the world the joy that I could bring

but the first thing that you know I gotta do is

I gotta be down with Snoop Doggy Dogg

in the Doggy Dogg crew.

Yeah.

Count me out with all that barking, dawg.

I ain't come here for that

I mean business always happen

from 12 to 6, you understand what I'm saying?

I'm here to get mine only, if you don't mind.

Oh, well, what I'm saying here, man

is I'm straight out of trailer park, you know what I mean?

That's a whole other market that you ain't even

tapped into yet, huh?

Just think of it as a white project

on wheels, man.

You know what I'm saying?

Here's my demo tape

it's from the old school.

Eight track, alright?

You know what I'm saying?

Don't miss the boat.

You a ball player, man

you a ball player, let me rap to you.

Now look here

Romey Rome need your help, man.

I want to open up a rib joint.

But my money is funny

and my credit won't get it.

Now, I can put you on for $30,000.

- Man, I ain't got $30,000. - You're lying.

Okay, how about, $20,000?

- No. - Look here, Randall, alright.

Uh-uh-uh, 50 dollars and a full tip, come on, man.

I got to get my car out the impound.

Look, man, raggedy-mouth.

- All I came here to do-- - Raggedy?

- Raggedy mouth. - Raggedy mouth?

All I came here to do was to have a nice time

before I go to camp

so take your Jermaine Jackson perm

out of my face.

You don't know me, do you?

You better ask somebody I'mma tell you, man.

Let me tell you something, man.

You better watch your mouth

or you'll miss another season, huh?

Huh? Looking like, looking like

you don't done comb your hair

with a brick.

Hell, yeah.

Man, get outta my face.

I'm going to the boot! I'm going to the boot!

Damn, I got the.. I'm telling Dogg now!

I got wrecked!

Look at that..

Ah, what's up, Brother Man?

Nothin'.

Just chilling.

Heard through the grape vineyard y'all have some gumball

up over here so I just came by

to put me up a bowl.

What?

Uh, Brother Man, check this out here, man.

Look, I've been meaning to ask you something, okay?

Look, how come you never use

the front door like everybody else?

Talk to me.

'Cause that ain't the way I roll.

Okay, fine.

Uh, but, Brother Man

Gina doesn't have a fire escape

and we six flights up, what's up, come on?

Sometime a brother got to do

what a brother got to do.

- Psst. - Psst.

- Psst. - Psst.

Psst.

Hey, t-they pick up, did they?

No, nobody's answered. I think they already left.

- Okay. - Yo! All the brews gone.

- What? - Hold up, hold up, hold up.

Y'all don't need to trip, there's after party

at my crib, you know I'm saying?

Hold, hold on, but, Snoop

I thought you lived in LA, man.

I do, but I got some limos outside

and some planes at the airport.

Uh-uh, uh-uh!

Uh-uh, hold up!

Ain't nobody going nowhere.

Y'all gonna help me clean this place up

that's what y'all gonna do.

Snoop, I don't care who you are.

Listen, man, I know your mother done raised you right

so get to cleaning, come on y'all!

Move it, move it and put the carpet back.

Hey, Gina

let me tell you something.

I am not a little man, Gina.

Everybody else is just big.

Baby, you gonna take that back.

Not until you take back everything you said first.

Gina, why do I have to apologize

first all the damn time?

- You started it! - How did I start it, Martin?

Talking about I'm short, Gina

when I sit on the toilet my legs swing, huh?

No, no, that-that was only

after you said my bottom lip

was so big that if I pull it over my head

I could wear it as a beanie.

That wasn't right.

- G-G-Gina. - No. No.

Alright, alright, fine, fine

maybe I did say that, baby

but you know I didn't mean it.

Gina, I love your lips.

Why are you tripping?

Because Martin, when you said

that, um, about..

What'd you say?

You really like my lips?

Girl, you know, I love them soup coolers.

Blow the soup!

- I love your head handles. - You love my head handles?

- Girl, hm.. - Oh, honey.

Look at us, arguing over nothing

Pam is throwing us this engagement party

and we're not even there.

That's right, girl. Let's.. Look, look, look..

- Yeah. - Let's get dressed, huh.

And get over to our engagement party.

- Huh, huh, huh? - Okay.

Before I get people over there mad, girl

worried to death about us.

Martin, Martin, let's not argue over stupid things, okay?

Better yet

we haven't really made up.

Martin, no, no!

We don't have the time, we're late.

Gina, Gina, we already done wasted two hours

two more minutes ain't gonna make a difference, Gina!

- No, no! - Okay, fine.

I'll cut it down to 30 seconds.

- Hey! - Hey now!

Oh?

Oh, Martin, looks like nobody's even been here.

Yeah, well..

I guess they done got bored and went home.

Ah, look at this.

It was so bad, Pam had to make up a lie about her

Tommy and Cole going to another party

with Snoop Doggy Dogg in LA.

Argh! See, what I'm saying about your friend?

- Martin.. No, Martin. - She's your friend, okay?

Why does beedeebee gotta be like that?

Huh? That's why she don't have no man.

Always lying.

In some homes they call it fibbing.

Baby, if you ever fibbed to me I'mma have to leave you.

- Roscoe? - Brother Man?

No, baby I don't have a fire escape.