Original subtitles

Pistons-Bulls.

Damn, half court.

In front row!

- Half court. - Front row!

- Hey, Pistons-Bulls. - Half court.

- Front row. - Hey, Pistons-Bulls.

Alright, hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Yo, yo, yo, hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Yo, man, this tickets are macadocious.

- 'Yeah.' - How'd you get them anyway?

Well, you know I had the cheap seats

so I switched those

with the radio giveaway.

- Martin. - Ah?

Oh, man, it's not right. It's dishonest.

Come on, man, I mean, even I wouldn't do that.

I guess you're right, I mean, you know people work hard

to call into the radio station.

I mean, it's hard to get through sometimes.

I feel bad.

- I'm over it now. - Me too!

- Piston-Bull. - Half court.

Hey, go, Martin, Pistons-Bull, right-on.

- No, no. - The roof's on fire.

What?

Party over here.

Whoo!

Gina, why are you cleaning up Martin's apartment?

Well, I have to stay there too, Pam.

You wouldn't catch me cleaning up after no man, okay?

Well, how do you handle it with your man, Pam?

Oh, I forgot.

You don't have one, do you?

See, you really didn't have

to go there, Gina.

Hey, hey! We still on for tonight?

Oh, yeah, Martin and the guys have gone to the game

and I've never seen them so excited, Pam.

Before I forget, could you please hand me

the tickets off the table.

Okay, no problem.

There aren't any tickets here, Gina.

Yeah, Pam, they're right there.

No, they're not.

- See. - Wait, wait. Okay.

Wait. Wait. Wait

Oh! Oh, my God, Pam, I think I threw them away.

Martin gonna kill you.

Oh, my God! The trash bag, Pam.

Girl, you better find those tickets.

Alright, the bag is stuck in the shoot.

- You can see it? - I think I could reach it.

Alright. Wait a minute. I'll hold it.

Okay. Wait a minute. Let me lift you up.

- Just hold my legs. - Alright, just watch my nails.

Watch my nails. Wait.

I got your feet. Alright. You alright?

- Yeah. - Alright. Damn!

Broke my nail.

Um, you see that?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Gina.

Okay, watch the outfit, watch the outfit.

Oh! Oh!

You okay?

Are you okay?

- I'm sorry. - So..

Looky, look.

Sheneneh, don't start with me, please.

Little Miss Trash Dig.

Well, I guess the recession

has got to you too, huh?

- Sheneneh! - Alright.

Go crawl back into your hole, okay?

We're busy looking for something, now.

Okay?

Look, Gina, we're gonna have to search the dumpster

for the Pistons tickets.

Okay. Come on. Let's go. Walk ahead.

Well, well, Pistons tickets.. For tonight's game?

I got piston tickets front row.

Look, Sheneneh.

Girl!

Okay, look, Sheneneh

I will do anything for those tickets, okay?

- You said anything? - Yes, anything, please.

Ah! Well, okay.

Well, what I want here

I hear she's songstress

She's likes to sing, she likes blow.

What I want her to do is sing one of my songs.

I want her to sing

"Old McDonald had a farm"

facing the wall, now.

- What? You must be crazy. - You heard me.

You wanna tell me to get down on my knees

and crawl like I was a dog

and you lost your dog and I ain't no dog.

Face the wall and sing

"Old McDonald had a farm."

The wall.

I want the wall.

- I want that-- - Old McDonald's!

- I want the tickets. - You want the tickets?

Can you help me out, Pam? Oh, thanks a lot.

I'm really beat.

Now!

Get your vocal skills together.

Do you need practice first?

Do you need it?

Thanks, thanks, Pam.

Now get to blowing.

Cut!

You don't believe that.

You don't feel that.

- With soul. - Thank you.

Stop it! Stop! Stop it!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

- Wait a minute! - What?

Look, Sheneneh, keep Pam out of it.

I'm the one who wants the tickets.

Let me do something. Make me do something.

Oh, please. Alright. Okay.

Alright, I always heard you come in a hallway, "Oh, stop it.

"Oh, stop it.

Break it out!"

I guess you don't want to mess with me

'cause you know what a good ass

whooping feels like, don't you?

But you know what?

That sounds like an interesting idea.

Let me think about that for a moment.

Alright, well, that mean

I mean, I could kick both of the ass.

Yeah. I mean, well, you should.

Ah!

- Okay, Gina, I got it. - Alright.

You work in my shop this morning.

Sheneneh Sho' Nuff Hair Saloon.

And you can have those tickets.

Oh, no, Sheneneh. Work for you?

I don't think that's a very good idea.

Three, two, one.

A-a-and off.

- Deal is off. - Come on, Sheneneh.

Get out of my face.

Sheneneh!

Gina, don't even worry about her.

I know where we could get the ultimate hookup, okay?

Come on.

Pam, I'm gotta take a bath.

Pam, I'm cold, and we're in a alley.

Gina, he is coming, okay?

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

So what's the matter?

I mean, you can't call nobody.

I called you about the tickets this morning, didn't I, Jerome?

Oh-oh, so that's it, huh?

You only call on the Jerome around

when you need somethin', is that it?

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, you're our friend, Jerome.

- Oh, your friend? - Yeah, yeah.

- You sweet on your own? - Huh?

Y'all sweet on your own?

- Come here, girl. - No, we don't even say that.

Oh, you look darling, you.

- Okay. - Lord, have mercy.

Look here!

Now that I got you all in the mix..

...why don't we go on down

to the motel, say now?

Jerome! Jerome!

- Ah, what? - Jerome!

The tickets, baby. The tickets.

Oh, alright, I-I guess it's business before pleasure, huh?

- You got it! - Hmm.. Mmm..

You got 'em. You got 'em.

I can't believe you have them, Jerome.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on, dear.

What? What? What? What?

You done forgot my name?

My name is Jerome.

I got everything from Tickets.com.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm an old Mac from way back.

One of the original players..

...from the Himalayas.

Okay, now, here's what we do.

Alright, now check this.

When you get there, you go to gate number seven.

Okay.

- Macaroni Tony will let you in. - Got it.

When you get in, okay, don't be lollygagging.

Don't be sitting down at the concession stand

talking to the fat man, okay?

You just smile and float.

Float. Float. Oh..

Hey, okay, I'm too smooth to be embarrassed.

So, check that out. Here you go.

- Alright. - Thank you.

Thank you so much, Jerome.

You saved my life. Thank you so much.

Alright, give me, give me little of that.

See, I told you.

- Wait a minute. - Yeah.

Wait a minute.

Jerome, these tickets are from 1973.

Jerome?

- You said 73? - 'Yeah.'

Now you don't take the wrong back.

'73 was my year. Ah!

That's when I first learned to chill

in my coupe de ville

when I used to dig in my scene

of my Gangster Lee.

Say, where's my money?

Oh, oh, oh.. You-you-you don't take the wrong back.

You don't take the wrong back.

Oh, you don't take the wrong back.

Girl, you better give me those

those might be collector's item, you know.

Come on, Pam, you and your hook up.

Man, Jerome, I thought you would come through.

Come on. Wha-what?

Junk in the trunk.

Junk in the trunk.

Ooh, girl.

You sure is swollen

You oughta fight Joe Collin.

Oh, oh.

Well, look who came crawling

back on her ashy little knees.

What you need? Some lotion.

Why don't you just spit it down?

- Sheneneh, look. - What? What? Yeah.

I'm gonna make this as fast as possible

because this is not easy for me, okay?

Okay.

I'm working at your shop this morning

for the basket ball tickets, okay?

Pronounciate.

I thought you.. Aren't you a college student?

Pronounciate.

I will work in your shop--

Ah, not with an attitude.

Again.

I will work in your saloon this morning

for the basketball tickets, okay?

- No. - No?

See, the price has gone up since this morning.

- See, I need you the whole day. - The whole..

Wh-wh-what? The whole...day.

Okay. Oh, hey.

- Okay. - Alright.

B-b-but.. Whoa-whoa. Wait a minute first.

Unh-unh, na, na. Okay.

You ain't gonna be working at my shop

looking like any, okay?

Alright?

You gotta have

a professional look.

Ah, Rhodesia, Rhodesia.

Rhodesia, come-come here for me.

- What do you need, Sheneneh? - Look here.

Keep an eye on the new girl, okay, because I don't trust her.

I don't like her and she don't like me, okay?

She's just here working off her debts, okay?

- Okay? - Alright, no problem.

- I got your back. - Alright.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, Sheneneh!

Can you make me look like this?

Laquita?

I ain't no plastic surgeon, okay?

Don't be bringing me no picture of Whitney Houston

because you're not Whitney Houston.

You're not even Bobby Brown, okay?

Oh, look, I'm sorry, okay?

Now what you do is, make it your prerogative

bring me a picture of Flavor Flav and we'll talk.

Okay?

Girl, you so crazy!

Yes, I'm so c-r-r..

Gina, alright, I'm here to help you out

any way I know how, okay?

You-you okay?

Girl, am I okay?

Pam, look at my hair.

Look at it.

Well, maybe if it is not bad at all.

Are we sitting down

Little Miss Lazy Dukes?

Ooh, there it is!

Sweep. Sweep, okay?

It's one motion. Sweep, okay?

Sheneneh, I did not come here to sweep, okay?

Let me do something like what Rhodesia is doing.

Oh, please, okay?

Now that takes skill. That is hard work, okay?

Oh, oh, wait. Sheneneh, look.

- Wha-- - I-I have done hair before.

Picking Pam's buckshots don't count, okay?

Okay, okay, okay, fine. You wanna do something?

- Yeah. - Okay, shampoo Laquita.

- Fine. Good. - Laquita! Laquita!

Alright, time for your shampoo, girl.

Alright, now, you do know how to shampoo, huh?

I mean, you do wash your own hair, don't you?

- Yes, I do. - Okay.

At least I don't have to take mine off to wash it.

Oh, sure.

Oh, oh!

Oh!

Excuse me, Laquita

I got me a little insubordination here.

I need some privacy.

You might wanna watch your map

if you want those tickets, Gina

because you don't have them yet.

Okay? Okay?

Now get the shampoo

lather it up, sud it up.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

- Hi, how you doing? - I'm fine, babe.

What are you going to done today?

Oh, I want a bob weave with some, um

burgundy finger waves

and some glitter.

Are you sure that's what you want?

What are you saying, I won't look good?

Oh, no, no, I'm not saying that.

It's just you know, burgundy finger waves.

Excuse me.

Sheneneh!

Who is this girl you got working on my hair cut?

'Cause she is tripping.

Oh, no, I was just saying--

Ah, ah, you are not saying nothing.

- Sheneneh, I am out of here. - What?

I'm going to Juanita's Bumper Curl.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Laquita.

- Ah-ah! - Laquita.

Laquita, you were one of my best customer.

Unh-unh, when that booty girl

is gone, I'll be back.

Laquita, but you're regular here.

- You are regular here. - 'Unh-unh.'

I knew I shouldn't have

trusted you with my customer.

Sheneneh, I was just trying to help.

Help me into the poorhouse?

Okay, okay, do you know anything about pedicure?

- Yeah, I do. - Okay, then do Myra's pedicure.

Myra, your feet, babe.

Okay, time to do your feet.

- Oh, fine. Okay. - Oh.

Pam! Pam! What are you doing?

You're supposed to be helping me?

I'm just getting my nail fixed, Gina.

You broke it when you fell down the shoot.

I cannot believe you. I cannot..

You know what, you're not a friend.

Would you get over here?

I want my pedicure.

My corns is fixin' to pop.

- One minute, alright? - The feet.

The feet.

- Okay. - Oh!

Oh, you..

Okay, Myra.

Hi. How you doing?

Okay.

Um, why don't you take your shoes off

so we could get started.

They are off.

Now, be careful of that raw patch

on my big toe.

And see that corn?

You got to file that corn down

'cause I can hardly dance.

Sheneneh!

Girl, what are you doing?

You don't like file that.

- I-I.. - Oh, my goodness!

Oh, please, okay?

You gotta go to work on my Myra's feet.

- Hm-hm. - Ah, yeah.

Ooh, Sheneneh. Oh, I love it.

Oh!

Oh!

Gina, go fetch me a diet cola.

It's hot up in here.

I'm a little parched too, could you bring me a pop?

Thanks!

Oh sure, Pam, I bring you a pop.

No, no, don't get up. You stay right there.

Foot it all. Stay.

- Okay? - She sure got a attitude.

You telling me?

Here!

Thank you!

Ooh. Hm.

Boy!

This ain't no damn diet soda.

What are you trying to do

raise up my blood sugar?

Sheneneh!

This girl is trying to kill me.

Oh, Lord, have mercy.

Sugar!

Are you trying to kill Myra?

I-it's a bit.

M-Myra, look, please. Okay?

Forgive her, okay, because she is new.

I got a cheat from the halfway house, okay?

Unh, unh, wait a minute, Sheneneh.

I said I would work for you

but I will not be disrespected, okay?

Oh, yes, you will.

- What? - If you want these.

Aha, aha, brought you back

to reality yet now, didn't I, miss college girl?

Miss Bourgeois.

Sheneneh. Sheneneh, break it up?

We just ran out of neutralizer.

I will go to the beauty supply store, okay?

You do me a favor while I'm gone.

Count the days on the calendar

and make sure they're all there.

I mean, can you handle that?

Oh!

Bourgeois, grab Ms. Jetson from underneath that dryer

and sit her in that chair.

Look, I got to get my perm.

I can't sit here all day.

I got mans waiting to see me.

Oh, I can do your perm.

No, no, Gina. Don't touch it.

Don't touch anything.

Come on, Myra, I can do your perm.

It's about time, honey.

Okay, Myra, I'll be back for you.

Did you get your soda?

I'll get it for you. I'll check you in a minute.

I got your change, girlfriend, I got your change.

Oh, no!

I don't believe it.

No, this heifer is not running my shop.

- Gina? - Yeah.

What are you doing behind my register?

Girl, I was just giving a customer her change.

See, Sheneneh, I told you I could do it.

I even gave Myra her perm, girl.

Sheneneh! Sheneneh! I did not know she was doing that.

I thought she was just giving her shampoo.

What?

You..

...gave Myra a perm

without neutralizer?

Oh, I forgot. Oh, my God, I forgot.

The neutralizer.

My.. M-M-Myra?

Oh! Am I almost done, Sheneneh?

I got to get home to season my gizzards.

Oh, Myra, you know, girl

you come here all the time.

You love it here 'cause Sheneneh do the hair and all.

Oh, Myra.

Oh, Myra.

Oh!

Oh, Myra.

What? What? What is it?

No!

Myra!

Oh, oh, um, um, um..

Rhodesia, go get the polaroid.

I gotta take the picture of this.

- Oh. - Oh, is it that nice?

Myra, it is gorgeous, Myra.

You are gonna turn heads.

- Oh! - That's for sure.

Oh!

Look, look, Myra

I know it takes your breath away, right?

- A bald? - No..

So is Grace Jen.

She's gorgeous.

Uh, uh, uh..

- Sh.. - Sinead O'Connor.

Yeah, she is fierce, girl.

- Oh, yeah. - Oh! Eartha Kitt.

She ain't bald.

You don't know Eartha like I do.

Okay?

I look Eartha Kitt right now?

Better than Eartha.

Work it, work it, girl, work it.

Bonjour!

I'm sorry about Myra.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

She was toe up

from the floor up.

Oh, I damn near threw up.

Oh!

Oh, my goodness.

But you would do it alright

at the end there.

Thank you! Sheneneh, you know what?

I completely misjudged you.

You're okay.

Yeah, well, that's nice. Okay, here's your tickets. Okay?

You better get going because they start in two hours.

- The game starts. - Oh great. Thank you.

- Okay? Alright. - Whoo! This is Bulls-Pistons.

I free you up. Come on, out.

First row!

Ah-ah, these are Martin's tickets.

You know what?

I found those in the hall.

I thought they might be yours

but I forgot to ask.

Oh, well.

- All's well that ends well. - What? No, no.

- Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. - Wait. No, no--

We're closed.

Sorry, we are closed.

Gina, you'll make me miss the game.

Ooh, hey, hey, hey, look here, baby.

Alright, where you've been?

I got you a note, okay?

I gotta go. Talk to you later, alright?

Hey!

You look different.

Did you get a new dress?

Look, we'll talk on it later.

Oh, my goodness.

No, he didn't.