Original subtitles

Mm. Mm.

- Martin? - Hey.

Did you come up with a topic for your show yet, babe?

No, Gina. Baby, I'm stressing right now.

Look at me, Gina. Hmm. Look what I'm doing to myself.

Look what I'm doing to myself.

Martin, the thing isn't even lit.

That's because I don't allow no smoking in my house, Gina.

- Gina, Gina. - What?

Now is not the time to be criticizing me.

- What-- - I'm very explosive right now.

Boom! Very explosive.

'He's so crazy.'

- Hey, hey, y'all. - Hey, hey.

- What's going on? - What's up? What's up?

Hey, come on, let's go. Let's go.

- I'm ready to go eat. - Hey, we're ready.

That's Martin.

He's working on a topic for tomorrow's show.

Don't you know, yesterday he wasted two hours talking about

how McDonald's had no black characters.

Eh, eh, hey, hey, Ronald McDonald is a black man.

He's just light skinned.

You guys doing hunger talking--

- Whoo! - You got to eat.

- He got it. - Get going son.

You see, Martin, come on, baby, we're ready to go.

Y'all go ahead, okay?

I'm just gonna stay here

you know, work on my show.

Honey, baby, you'll get it.

No, baby, no.

I'm empty, Gina.

I am burned out, okay?

Think about my last three topics, Gina.

About McDonald's, ToeJam, sea monkeys, Gina?

Girl, I did a show on sea monkeys.

You work on that, my brother, we got to go.

'Okay, fine, thank you.'

You're just gonna walk out leave your boy hanging.

Thank you, friends.

But, Martin, we'd help you, but you never like

any of our ideas.

That's not true at all.

You guys have great ideas.

Most importantly, you are my friends, if not you, who?

- Oh. - Alright.

Alright, alright, alright.

Okay, look, you could do a show on the hole in the ozone layer.

Tommy, you go eat.

'Hey, yo.'

Uh, how about pork, the other white meat?

What's up with that?

Cole, you go with Tommy.

- You know, Martin, I was-- - No, no, no, no.

You shouldn't be speaking. No, no.

Give me here, baby, give me here.

Okay, um, people always like to hear about relationships.

Right, right.

Why don't you do something about

the first time we met?

Oh, come on, Gina.

First time we met.

What?

Ahh!

Ahh!

Yes, that is dope. That is a dope idea. Baby.

I don't know about that one, Gina.

I remember when you two

first met, and it wasn't all that.

Yes, it was, Pam.

I remember that night too. Shoot.

I walked in, Gina took one look at me, and..

She was in love.

Ha-ha.

I remember all the cuties were up on me that night.

Gina's just lucky I chose her.

- Oh, you chose me? - Oh, yes.

Wait a minute, we better get this story straight

before you go broadcasting some fantasy, okay?

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, Gina, it's not a fantasy.

I know what happened that night, which I'd like to hear.

- No. - No.

- Yes, yes. - 'We wanna eat.'

Yes.

That's right.

Now I remember that night well.

I walked in, and I was the man.

All the women were on me.

I was the Mac that night.

Damn, baby, you look good to me.

Well, thank you, baby. Thank you, baby.

Look here, baby, I should be on the guest list

on the M for Mac, baby.

- Ooh, yeah. - Pierre Mac.

I mean, can you dig it, baby? Can you dig it?

I can dig that, you just bring

your fine self on up in here, baby.

Say, listen, daddy, do you think if you're not busy later

you can drop by my pad?

Well, I gotta think about that, baby, alright?

But look here, you be cool, alright?

I mean, maybe we get together later

and wrap a taste on it, huh?

Huh, can you dig that, baby?

- Yes, I can dig it. - Can you dig it, baby?

- I can dig. - Okay, baby.

Umm, my, my, my.

Now I done tasted every flavor.

From French Vanilla to double chocolate moccha.

But tonight, I'm in the mood for some caramel.

I need a man.

Uh-u-u-uh, I'm tired of being by myself.

Come on, baby. Shh! Shh! Shh!

Not now, baby. No words, baby.

Don't get heavy on me, baby, okay?

Excuse me, baby.

You know, the first time I saw you, I wanted to touch you.

You have this incredible excitement about you.

I had those same good feelings the first time I saw you, baby.

So where do we go from here?

To the top, if you're not afraid, baby.

You see, baby, I wanna be everything to you.

You know, I wanna be your father.

I wanna be your friend.

I wanna be lover.

I wanna be your uncle, your aunt, your mama, your puppy.

But you gotta believe in me, baby.

You gotta believe that everything I ask you to do

this was best for both of us, baby.

I mean, can you dig that, baby?

Oh, wow!

I mean, can you dig that, baby?

Yes. Solid man, I can dig it.

Baby, well, bring it to me, baby.

- Oh, yeah. - Baby, can you dig it?

- Baby, can you dig it? - Yeah.

Yeah! That's how it was.

Gina was all up on me.

Whoa!

Oh. Sorry, Martin. Where was Cole and I?

As I recall, we were at the party too.

Well, I don't know about all that, brother.

I was too busy looking good.

Whoa!

So wait a minute.

Is that the story you're gonna tell on the show tomorrow?

That you just snapped your fingers

and I was so overwhelmed by the sheer magnificence of you

that I just came out running?

Most definitely, Gina.

You was all up in here with yours.

Martin, you stupid.

That is not what happened.

Would you explain it to him, Pam, please?

Okay, I saw the whole thing.

Now, Gina, Tommy, and I were at a very classy and private party

and then you two bombs barged in.

Get up.

Go. Go. You go in without me.

Take cover.

Okay.

Now in case y'all didn't notice, I'm on the run from the cops.

I need a hostage.

- Red bow. You. - Oh!

Come here. Come here, girl, you fighting me, huh?

You're a bad man. You're a very bad man.

Yes, I am bad. I'm bad. You have to wait.

You will like.. Oh, you fighting.

- Oh. - Ooh!

You like being little physical. You like.

Help!

See, now that's the truth.

I ain't got no reason to lie.

- Well, thank you, Pam-- - You're welcome.

For straightening that out for us.

Now what you need to do is go in the back

and straighten out those buck shots

in the back of your neck.

Girl, your hair so nappy, Wilson couldn't pick it.

Martin did not kidnap me, Pam.

That's right, Gina, you tell her.

Oh, you be quiet, super fly, your story was worse.

- Can we go eat? - Yeah.

- Please. - Definitely can.

Wait a minute, this is not settled.

Oh, yes, it is, Gina.

You see, Gina, I'mma tell my story, my way, on my show.

Now can we please be out?

No, we can't. Everybody sit down.

Come on, baby, Gina.

No one's going anywhere until we get the real story.

Sorry.

You know what, Gina? This is whack, okay?

I'm just gonna say what I'm gonna say anyway.

It's not the truth, Martin.

We have got to go

because there's nothing to eat here.

Cole, why don't you go floss?

Maybe you could get a meal out of that.

Alright, alright, alright.

You see, I really didn't wanna get in your business.

Really, I didn't.

But I'm too damn hungry not to, okay?

Now I was there, and I remember everything.

Come here, you handsome little devil.

Come on. Don't you feel it?

So what you sayin', Pam, huh?

I mean, a brother can have his dreams.

You better leave me out of your sick

perverted dreams, you moron.

You know, I am really disappointed in all of you.

Martin and I fell in love that night.

And if you just tell story like it happened and stop tryin'

to make yourselves look so good, it would be a beautiful story.

Okay, then fine, Gina, fine, okay? It's on you. Speak on it.

How'd we meet?

Okay.

I remember, I had a sense there's something really special

was gonna happen that night.

- Charles. - Yes.

Isn't it a wonderful party?

Perhaps, perhaps.

But, oh, look at this, domestic caviar.

Well, I hope they found a good discount.

Charles, a party isn't about the food, it's about the people.

Oh, yes, darling, I agree.

And they do seem to be the right sort, don't they?

I mean, they are rich people like me.

Oh, good God, look at the wind that blew in.

This is special delivery from a secret admirer.

'Name's Martin Payne.'

He's really shy.

- Excuse me a moment. - Oh, Gina, wait a minute, Gina.

Hi! Hi!

Come here. Come here.

Oh, come here. Give me your hand.

Give it to me. There you go.

Oh, what a good boy.

Watch your step, watch your step.

Thank you for the rose. It's beautiful.

Well, not half as beautiful as you are, miss ma'am.

But I've already said too much.

No. No. It's nice.

There's no need to be shy.

Yes, there is.

I mean, I just never met anyone like as beautiful, and neat

and swell as you are.

Well, I mean, when I look into your beautiful, shimmering eyes

it just makes me go..

Please, can I have one last look, please?

I can go dine now.

That is the most moving thing anyone has ever said to me.

Gina, Gina, what could you possibly want with this loser?

Look, I know everyone will look at him and see a shy

ineffectual male with a poor self-image

but I look deep inside, and I see a beautiful soul.

And as God as my witness, I will take this raw clay

of Martin Payne, and one day mold of great man.

Miss-miss-miss ma'am.

- Yes. - Would you mold me?

- Yes. - Could you mold me?

Oh, yes.

Oh, oh, oh, so let me get this straight, Gina.

You saying you fell for me because you think

I was acting like a punk?

No, Martin, because I think you were a shy, sensitive man.

- Punk. - Punk, yeah.

You know what? This is whack, Gina.

Shimmering eyes. No, no, baby. Ha-ha.

I must have said you had cross

or spackle or something in your eyes.

Oh, that's right, Martin.

And you play the saxophone

and I came gliding across the room.

Yes.

Well, who directed your fantasy, homie, sparkly?

Huh.

You know what, I thought I told you

to chill with your little buckshot ass.

Shut up.

Uh, can we please get back to my story

'cause it gets so much better.

No.

Hey. Hey. Hey, yo, shut up.

What the hell are y'all doing?

You just shut up and let me tell it, alright?

Like what? You know the truth.

Yes, I do, Martin.

You weren't all that fly.

Gina, Pam, y'all weren't either.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Hey, Cole.

Huh?

You need prayer.

Well, Tommy is the only one who doesn't have anything

to gain by lying.

Martin, this is a story you should use

on your show tomorrow because it's the truth, okay?

You, me, and Cole were hanging out one night, right?

We wouldn't be crashing this party.

Oh, whoa, whoa, wait a minute? Who is this?

I don't know, I haven't seen her before.

Well, I got to find out.

Look, you brothers, watch, look, and learn, alright?

Check me.

Umm-umm.

Excuse me.

No, no. Uh-unh.

Well...you should be thanking me.

I just saved you 100 calories.

Two hundred, if you include what's on your nose.

Oh, damn, oh.

Oh, can you help me out?

- There you go. - Oh, thank you.

Okay, look.

Well, that's embarrassing, huh?

Yeah.

But it's good though.

Well, we'll get that out away.

Listen, listen, listen. Your name is..

Gina Waters.

- Alright, Martin Payne. - Hi.

Look here, girl, we kind of hit it all day.

We like each other, don't we? Huh?

So let's cut through the drama.

- Uh-huh. - Thank you.

Welcome.

Let's cut through the drama

and get out of here, girl.

I got my vehicle out back.

Let's be out.

Okay, I'll go with you.

You will?

No.

Oh-ho, oh-ho, oh, okay. I like that.

You did a little joke, joke, joke, little whoop you go with.

Okay, you're funny. You're funny.

Hey, hey, I gotta go.

Hey, hey, look, look, baby.

I may need to jump later on.

It's gonna be a little tougher than I thought.

Uh, Martin, you think you could get that woman over

there to throw her drink in my face?

You know what, Cole? Shut up, man, alright?

Please, shut up. Time for plan B. That's all that is.

- Alright. - Watch me.

Okay.

- Excuse me, bro. - Yo!

Uh, you mind if I play it a little bit.

- Oh, go ahead. - Okay.

I mean I still get paid anyway.

Alright, my man.

Excuse me.

We kind of want to get this thing moving

this party jumping. You know?

I want to dedicate this song to the most beautiful lady

in the room.

It's a little something I wrote in title

The first time ever I saw your face, Gina.

Give me that.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I do parties, picnics, conventions.

Bar Mitzvah, I'm in the book.

Please, someone look me up.

Look here..

You see people bullying me up here.

Now, are you gonna give me your number or do I gotta go

back there and do a drum solo?

Give you my number?

- Yes. - I don't think so.

Here he is. He's the third one. Go ahead and try.

Hey, hey, hey. We don't want a scene, alright?

We're just gonna take you outside and bust you up.

Man. Damn, bro, you're kind of strong, ain't you?

Damn, okay, you don't have to put that muscle in it, alright?

Now check it, okay? I'm not with them, man.

I don't even know them, I'm with her, Gina.

Gina, is he with you?

Because if he's not, he's out of here.

Ye-yes, he's with me.

He's my--

- My cousin. - Man.

- My friend. - Man.

- I'm your man. - Man?

- My man. - My man.

- My man. - My man.

I know he's not with you.

Oh, yes, I am. Excuse me.

Look here, come here, girl, let's start playing.

Aye!

Urgh, aye!

How you like me now?

Okay, these other two got to go. You all got to get out of here.

- Wait, wait, wait. - Both you--

I appreciate it.

Hey, loves alright.

Your man.

I'm your man.

Hey, girl, you don't have to.. Look, babe, I didn't..

I'm sorry. I didn't. Umm.

Is it my breath or yours?

Yours.

And you see, that's the truth. That's the way it happened.

Ha-ha. I mean, I didn't choose her.

She didn't choose me. We just, uh, fell in love.

Hey, look here.

Well, tomorrow to continue, my all Gina week. Ha-ha.

I'm gonna tell you about the first time

I made her scream out my name.

Martin.

'Oh, Martin.'

Oh, Martin!