Original subtitles

Cheer up, Shorty. This is the year of the Scot.

Year of the Scot, my ass.

More like the year of the screw up.

Shorty, I tell you, she's out there.

Nessie's out there someplace. I'd bet my last jug of Scotch on it.

- Oh, you will, huh? - Yeah.

You know just enough about this crap to make an ass out of yourself,

but I don't have to go with ya.

This was going to be the big big score wasn't it Rick?

We were going to come to Scotland and bring back Nessie.

When no one's been able to do it for fourteen hundred years.

We begged, we borrowed, we stole every piece of gear we could get our hands on,

and all we got was a lot of Scots talking about their bloody ancestors.

Hell, even the broads here don't put out.

Unless you ask 'em to marry you.

Jesus Christ, look!

All right!

She's going under.

Ready to go?

That you, professor?

Hi, hi. Is that our new Nessie watcher?

The very same.

It's Spencer Dean, from the University of Texas.

- He already asked for you. - Good, good.

I'll be right over. Just let me tie this gear down.

Where the devil is Shorty?

Shorty won't be coming back.

What the hell do you mean by that?

Ah, forget him. We hit the jackpot, man.

Yeah. We're rich, Pratt, you hear me, you silly son of a bitch? We're rich!

Red, we've been through some nasty times together, you and I,

but I think this monster business is really getting to you.

I ain't crazy, Pratt, now you listen up.

We found Nessie's lair down there, Shorty and me.

Uh... First we seen her,

then we went down there and we found her and a whole lot more.

There's a couple of dead Nazis and a bomb or something.

You know: World War Two stuff.

And then the monster come after us.

Then it got Shorty.

But we got the whole cart, man. We got something better than Nessie herself.

We got her egg! How about that, huh?

I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

All we get around here are tour buses and Nessie detractors.

A little scientific banter would be very welcome right now.

Even from a Yank.

Well, with your reputation, I think I'll leave the science to you.

And as for the Yank, the best I can do is Houston, Texas.

You're too modest.

All of us here have been following your experiments with side scan sonar.

We're very interested to find what it can do here.

Let's have a look at the boat.

That should last until morning, and after that we'll have to get some more.

What I'm concerned about now is how we get it out of here.

How about if we just drive it the hell out of here?

Are you crazy man? The slightest vibration and you destroy the embryo,

and there goes your golden egg.

Oh, right.

I just hope the membrane is still intact.

- What are we going to do? - Pray, Red.

Pray! That is, if you still remember how to pray.

You look tired, lad. Get some rest. I'll take the first watch.

OK.

I've told you about some of the seasonal oddities who frequent Loch Ness,

but the one that takes the cake is the mad Scotsman of Killiecrankie Island.

He lives there in the ruins of Killiecrankie Castle, a hermit.

He was a piper with the Glencoe guards.

You Americans would say he's "off his rocker".

Dangerous?

What would you say about an old man who plays out battles long since forgotten?

Who has a collection of old weapons he guards like a mother hen?

They say he even talks to Nessie.

Well now, heh heh, I am impressed.

Isn't it amazing what money can do?

A gift to the school, courtesy Bandera Oil. Big Texas outfit.

Aye. You know, there was a time when I resented the royal family

with their country places and their horses and such,

until somebody told me how many people they employed.

A lot of good has to come out of that.

There was a time I was angry about the oil profits.

Then the school got this grant,

and I got the most expensive toy a scientist could ever have.

Where do you plan to start scanning the loch?

Well I was about to ask you that.

I don't even know what the water rules are here.

The man who lives over there might just have the answer.

- Is he a friend of yours? - Aye. Jack Stuart.

He knows this loch like his own bathtub. He grew up there, in the old manor.

Crusty old bird. A throwback to medieval Scotsmen.

An endangered species, I might add. I just hope he likes you.

There's two things I want to warn you about:

It was Stuart who took one of the early photographs of Nessie -- the silhouette.

- With the Kodak? - Aye, with the Kodak.

He was called a crank for a quarter of a century.

There's the manor.

But the negative was documented as authentic, not a fake.

True, but the crazy Scot image stuck,

so he turned his back on what he called: "Vile man."

However if he takes to you, he just might show you the trophy room.

You said there were, er, two things you wanted to warn me about.

His Kathleen. A little on the feisty side.

She doesn't like... Yanks.

It's unlocked!

Ah didnae I say it was open, but I said it was unlocked.

Ne'er been locked against man or beast.

If it were unlocked and you meant me harm, you'd only go by window.

So if your business be peaceful, make your face known.

- Ah, George! - Jack Stuart.

I want you meet a new colleague of mine from the United States -- Spencer Dean.

Oh, another Nessie watcher?

Good God in heaven, don't you Americans ever give up?

You never did.

You know, the young man's right Jack.

I, er, I built a fire in the trophy room.

Forty-some odd years, I've seen 'em come and go.

Aye, Jack. Aye.

The summer people.

Expensive gear, their boats and their platforms,

The cost of which would feed an army. And for what?

You see that? That on the mantle?

That's me Kodak.

The Kodak which cost one pound ten.

The Kodak what took the first picture.

It's printed in all the books, and without royalty I might add.

For thirty years they called me a fraud.

Now, Jack Stuart, if you will just calm down.

I want to tell you about my friend here.

He has come with new revolutionary sonar equipment.

It's the one thing that will help us to find Nessie.

To find her, eh? To help find her?

And what are you going to do when you find her?

Put her in a sideshow? A freak to be laughed at?

Do you have an answer for that?

Yes, I do have an answer for that, sir.

There are a lot of people who would exploit Nessie

for what Americans call "the fast buck".

But for fourteen hundred years,

people have been seeing Nessie, or rather, a whole family of Nessies.

And some of these people have been dedicated scientists,

like Dr Sanderson here.

We think that she should be studied if she is to be protected.

If she is to be preserved.

Preserved?

Preserved? It sounds like you want to pickle her in vinegar.

Away with yer. Away with yer.

We want to keep her alive as you do. Alive and free right here in Loch Ness.

Nessie is the greatest unsolved mystery of our time.

They call her a monster.

What is a monster? It isn't easy to achieve monster status.

We need your help. That Nessie out there could be the last.

The way you put it makes a man want to reach for the elixir of life.

Kate! Kate!

Wouldn't you like to find Nessie?

Aye, before I die.

There be guests here who need attention.

What he means is, he's found another excuse to break open another bottle.

Kathleen, I want you to meet...

How was your name, lad?

Spencer.

Mr Dean is a Yank from the States.

Is it true, Mr Dean, that Americans go to the picture house more than once a month?

And spend a lot of time looking at magazines of naked women?

Yes.

O you'll take the high road, and I'll take the low road,

and I'll be in Scotland before you,

but me and my true love will never meet again,

on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

O you'll take the high road, and I'll take the low road,

and I'll be in Scotland before you,

but me and my true love will never meet again,

on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

And this?

This be a sketch by a medical student

who saw Nessie the same year I snapped the photograph.

Reliable source to my mind.

But that animal's out of water. It's crossing a road.

Aye, and it was not the first sighting on land, or the last.

What of it, Mr Dean?

Nessie is amphibious. There was nae doubt in my mind.

Pratt!

Help! No! Pratt! Not me! Pratt!

Get me out of here! Pratt!

Pratt! Come on!

No! No!

Stop! Pratt, get me out of here!

Pratt, you bastard!

Pratt! Come on, Pratt!

...marry her, the bonnie lass from Scotland.

She did, she did, she married me, me bonnie lass from Scooot-laaaand.

Let's start it again.

She did, she did, she married me, me bonnie lass from Scooot-laaaand.

You asked me where I would look if I had your fancy scans and sonars?

Well, for one, avoid the bay.

And I wouldn't hunt for Nessie where the river end comes into the loch.

All you'll find there is salmon.

Start at the mouth of the River Farigaig.

Farigaig.

She asked me to marry her, me bonnie lass from Scotland.

She did, she did, she married me, me bonnie lass from...

Imagine me, if you will. The professor who gets the last laugh.

To hold in my hand the very synthesis of the mystery of life.

People from all walks of life trying to snare you

and they'll come by the car loads to wherever I dictate.

For it is I, Professor Pratt,

who'll write the last thesis on the Loch Ness Monster.

And they'll pay... Aye, they'll pay dearly.

It looks very much like a PBY.

World War Two. There's been one found here before, but it is not one of ours.

The war office in London might be very interested in this.

The train to London stops at Drumnadrochit.

With your permission I would like to put these tracings on board.

We could have a response in a matter of hours.

Be my guest. It's only paper.

Well, it's not Nessie, but we could have a significant find.

Well, do we hit the port?

Aye, lieutenant. Full ahead.

I figure we've been violating curfew for about six hours.

Port it is, before they throw us off the loch.

Come and get it. Eat it before it eats you.

Brad, what are you doing in here?

Will you get out of here? Everyone's going to know what you're up to.

Well I'm up to it, all right.

I've been up to it ever since the beginning of this tour.

Everyone's worrying about ham and eggs right now.

What better time?

Fran...

Ow. No.

Hey!

Very happy to see our Romeos could take time out to have breakfast with us.

Wouldn't want you to run out of steam.

Body culture's very important.

But just so we don't neglect the mind entirely,

we do try to arrange for lectures from time to time on our tour.

We are camped on the most famous lake on the entire globe,

so perhaps you'll all be happy to hear that we've arranged

for a fireside talk this evening, with Dr George Sanderson.

In your eagerness, I know you must all be asking: "Who is Dr George Sanderson?"

He's only the most famous marine biologist in the United Kingdom.

Lecture's six o'clock pronto, and that means six o'clock.

Well, top o' the morning to yeh.

I said "top o' the morning to yeh". Why didn't you answer me?

- They say that in Ireland. - Would you settle for a salute?

I'd settle for a proper hello, if you wouldn't be too American.

Hey wait. Hello, good morning, lovely weather we're having.

Look. It's a beautiful day, I was just about to take the boat out,

and I would love for you to be my guest.

Me, get on that monstrosity?

Careful, now. Any mention of monsters is taboo.

I've never been on the loch without a chaperone, and I don't like fast boats.

Do you mean to tell me that you have never had the wind tear up your hair?

A stinging spray so fine it makes you shut your eyes?

Did you know that you could actually have a race with the sun?

Or the moon, for that matter?

Take the wheel. Take the wheel.

- I've got to tell yeh. - What?

I don't swim.

- What? - I cannot swim.

Hold her steady. Right there. Hold her steady.

I think I just made contact with Nessie.

I'm sorry.

Alright, no more pranks.

I'm sorry, I just couldn't let this one get by.

It is real blood. It's purely for scientific reasons.

You see, we have to find out what is not in the lake,

to make sure that the sightings are not seals or sharks.

So we trail fish, or blood, which is better.

These canisters are loaded with blood, and they're designed to

explode or leak at a certain depth, because of the pressure.

If there are any seals or sharks, they'll follow that scent.

Then we just echo sweep the same area, till we get a strobe shot.

- Spencer Dean? - Yes?

We're worlds apart, you and I. Worlds apart.

Do you ever wear a dress?

Yes, for a church wedding, or when a girl has a devil in her.

- Me, for the pictures. - The pictures?

What the English seem to call the cinema.

Oh, how about shorts? How about walking shorts?

I could never bring meself to pay full price for half garments.

Besides it's sinful.

Sinful?

A girl should know ne'er show that much thigh, except to her betrothed,

and then only after the vow.

Well, I can see I have to have you back before dark.

But there'll be no dark, mister.

No dark?

Or at least not for hours.

The light from the Highland sun tarries close to midnight.

It's a blessing for the God-fearin' and the working class.

Not so for the people in your country, with their pagan ways.

Grandpapa says Americans love the dark better than the light

because their ways are wicked.

Worlds apart. Worlds apart.

You're all pretty familiar with the home of the beastie.

So we'll go quickly through those facts.

Your Miss Stowall has told me that you've been around most of the loch,

and you know that it is 22 miles long and about 970 feet deep.

New sub echo soundings enable us to sketch a 30-foot creature,

Moving about four hundred and eighty feet below the surface of the loch

and travelling at about seventeen miles per hour.

These photographs that you've been looking at were proven genuine,

by the space administration in the United States

and the British Museum of Natural History.

Otters and manatee have been offered from time to time as possible candidates.

An otter can go 800 feet down and take its oxygen from the surrounding waters.

But, they are not aquatic.

We come closer with the seal, but for one thing.

They bring forth theur young on the land and ice floes.

The monster could be an invertebrate, without a backbone. A worm if you must.

Dead end here. They simply don't get big enough.

Is Nessie a reptile?

The no vote say the lake is just too cold.

Forty-two degrees, and reptiles don't like cold water.

Particular species could have adapted themselves to this low temperature.

Now, this, is a good thought.

Reptiles have become mammals,

and some turtles have a remarkable adaptability to change of temperatures.

That brings us to the closest thing the scientists can agree on.

An amphibious reptile,

similar to the Plesiosaurus.

Features corroborated by the sighting:

flippers, a hump, long neck, likes salmon, is twenty feet or longer,

believed to be a fast swimmer,

and gives birth to its young in the water both as pups and as eggs.

Perhaps the strangest of all forms could be swimming out there in that loch.

And we have watched them for fourteen hundred years.

Hey professor!

You have a question?

How does the Loch Ness monster get it on?

I mean, if there's only one out there, how do they make babies?

Professor, isn't it true that some sea slugs are hermaphroditous?

Aye, that's true.

Many are spontaneous hermaphrodites,

that is, they function as both male and female.

Yeah, but how do they get it on?

The coupling cannot be called, in the vernacular, "a quickie".

I've made sonar slices of the aircraft from every angle,

and what appears to be the tracings of the ancient campfire sites

found by Dr Kleinhinge in 1957.

This Furuno gear is light years improved over the old method.

They must be daft.

What would anyone be doing with a campfire down there?

Oh, there's nothing mysterious about that.

They've been read by sonar before.

Just not with this clarity.

You see, when the loch was lower -- much lower --

Hunters of that time built fires here and cooked food.

Like, um... like the first McDonald's.

MacDonalds?

The MacDonalds from Stevonshire?

Glory be. Will wonders never cease?

Boy, I hope not, but until they do,

I think we'd better return to the real world and a very angry grandfather.

I'm not sure about activity here.

This must be a cave. Possibly a whole series of caves.

Oh, God damn it.

Never use profanity on the loch. It's bad luck.

Kathleen, this is no time for your Highland superstition.

We are tracing the last real mystery on this globe.

Well I'll not stop warning against using the Lord's name in vain.

I was not taking God's name in vain.

I was merely asking God to damn the fact

that our strobe cameras cannot reach that depth.

We've got to stay here and get this until we can get a strobe shot.

One of the legends of the loch is that it never gives up its dead.

What do you mean by that?

The waters of the loch, as I told you, are cold.

Therefore also acidic, and there is not much bacteria.

That means there is little vegetation.

As a result, anything that dies --

it could be a person, it could be the beastie --

When they go to the bottom, they do not rot,

and form gases that cause them to bloat and rise to the surface.

Instead, the bodies just sink to the bottom of the lake.

They become covered with mud or silt,

of which there is a great deal on the bottom.

And this is the legend: the loch never gives up its dead.

Snake, aaah!

All right, right. That's enough for the night. It's now fun and games.

You see. Wouldn't that be something? Naked in a room in an old castle?

But how do we get out there?

Well, we could steal that boat.

Be out and back before anyone would know.

Come on!

But they say that the old man is mad. A crazy weirdo.

Oh come on now, you don't believe that crap do you?

Every goddamned castle in Scotland is supposed to have an old ghost.

It's just like your Loch Ness monster.

Just another way of separating the tourist from his bucks.

Then let him watch. Maybe he'll learn a few things.

Are you sure ye've no seen or heard from her?

Ne'er a word? All right, thank yeh.

You say I should not be worried? O' course I should be worried!

Kathleen has ne'er been away after dark.

Only to the pictures, and 'tis not the last Saturday in the month.

Oh, that devil in young men, I should know...

Daughter, I know I swore before you passed on

that I would look after your baby.

But what could an old grandfather do?

The world is not the way you left it.

I'll tell yeh about the future.

During the last years, I ne'er went beyond good Scotch whiskey...

And that just to keep away the chill.

Platform one, this is wet bottom. Come in.

Platform one, this is wet bottom. Come in.

Twenty-four hours -- I find what he's been searching for for years,

and I can't even raise him on the horn.

You don't need this.

Ah. I'm cold, Brad.

Hell, I'll keep you warm.

I don't know...

Sure you know.

Got a little surprise.

Ulp. Eurgh.

So pretty.

What's wrong?

Fran: I... I don't know. Brad: Sure you know.

They're coming through the meadow, sir. Shall we hold our fire?

Let me at them, sir. Remember Glencoe, the water slaughter?

- Fran! - Uhhh, at the rocks, at the rocks.

I'm going to tear their neck-turns out.

Damn it!

There you go again.

Kathy, this is serious.

So was my upbringing.

OK. Now be careful, and hurry. After all, I'm responsible for you.

I can take care of meself, thank yeh.

I know that. All the same, I'd like to see you in a dress.

Cold. Brad, it's cold.

Oh, it's cold. It's cold.

Aaaaaaah!

It's all right. Here, lie down lassie. Here.

It's all right. It's all right. Cover her up. You'll be all right.

- Brad. It's got him. Brad. - Easy, lass. Easy.

There's a bag under my flashboard. Go get it. Cover her up.

Look, we're on to you Fran, the guy just wanted to split.

So what? Throw you in the drink?

That's enough out of you. This girl has experienced or seen

something very horrible, and I for one believe her.

Now, leave us alone. Leave us alone.

Now that's all right. Cover her there. Keep her warm. Easy. Easy.

The monster's got Brad. He's dead. He's dead.

- Calm down. - It's all right, lassie.

No... No... He... He...

I don't want her oversedated, now.

We need to know what happened. There'll have to be an inquiry.

This trip hasn't been the most pleasant for her.

Brad's been very persistent and he has threatened to leave several times.

Well, that being the case you'll want to go to Prestwick airport tomorrow.

It's not very far. This girl ought to be with her family right now.

Thank you, doctor. I'm in total agreement with you.

Here. Give her one of these in about an hour. That will make her sleep.

I'm going back to the platform and try to raise young Dean by radio again.

Platform one to wet bottom. Can you hear me?

Platform one to wet bottom. Can you hear me?

Platform one to wet bottom. Come in, please.

Platform one to wet bottom. Come in, please.

You know, you're my ticket out of here, lassie.

Now mind, you. You do what you're told you won't be harmed.

I'm not like those two bastards I hired to help me with this project.

Stupid Red, and that bad American humour of his.

Twenty-five thankless underpaid years, lecturing,

trying to teach young people like yourself about the world around them.

Were they ever interested in the natural sciences?

No, their only interest was copulation.

Their only scientific concern; not to have babies.

Well, now I've hit the jackpot. A way out.

Think of the possibilities, lassie.

Fourteen hundred years,

They've been trying to find some solid proof that Nessie was out there --

a good photograph, a flesh sample -- anything to prove that she was there.

They knew she was there. I knew it.

Now I'm the one that's got her.

It'll be light soon.

The embryo is strong enough to stand the shock now, so we'll travel in daylight.

Shall we interrogate them?

No, they'll only be suspicious. Let them go.

Have the station closed, and post two sentries here.

Right, sir.

Wake up, Jack. Jack, wake up, do you hear?

I'm looking for Dean.

Have you seen him? We're very concerned.

Dean, is it?

Is it Dean you're concerned about?

Well how about mah granddaughter?

I know nothing about your granddaughter.

All I know is we've been trying to reach Dean by radio and I can't raise him.

Oh, I'll raise him, by damn.

I'll raise him to the highest steeple in Drumnadrochit until he's dead.

I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for everything, but

there have been other incidents and we have to work together to clear them up.

Winifred?

Mrs Carey.

Aye, aye. This is George Sanderson. I'm calling from the Stuart manor.

Yes, yes. I want you to put me in touch with the constable.

Yes.

The what?

Whose orders?

But woman, we are part of that emergency.

I need to talk to someone in authority.

Yes, yes.

Thank you.

That's peculiar.

Peculiar?

What's more peculiar than what's been going on here?

Telephone central has orders to keep the lines free and clear for the military.

I've been cut off.

Lassie. Do you cherish your health?

Now listen carefully. I'm a failed man, but...

when the failed man sees one last chance to grab the brass ring,

he becomes a desperate man.

Now you kick this van or try to get attention in any way...

I won't hesitate to use this gun. Do you understand?

Yeah?

Morning, gentlemen.

Gentlemen, I'm familiar with your weapons, and correct me if I'm wrong,

but I don't believe you've removed your safety.

Don't make a move now!

Oh, God! Nooo!

Help me! No, please!

There you are, Jack.

Do you think they eloped? Americans do that, you know?

Young Dean is very capable, and I don't want you worrying about that anymore.

- Derek? - Sir?

I believe your loyalty to our commanding officer

is matched by my long friendship to Gregory.

If his lordship should go to hell, I'd be the first to get burned.

Good show. I thought as much.

And ours is a delicate mission, Derek.

Very shortly, I think we're going to have a sticky wicket

when it comes to our commander's long service to the crown.

- Right, sir. - Well then.

At the lookout piers, and close by the tower's base,

there's a tradesman by the name of Nicholson. Alex Nicholson.

Her runs a small shop. Rents all kinds of equipment, especially diving equipment.

Now, there's nothing particularly remarkable about this man

outside of the fact that he happens to be an expert deep diver.

And he's familiar with the old line of work, Derek: Explosives.

He has quite a nasty history when it comes to lending his talents for profit.

Quite a dossier: Military desertion, several counts of larceny, petty theft...

He makes and sells harpoon gear, which is, of course, quite illegal here.

And he appears to be quite good at it.

So taken all round, I wouldn't be at all surprised

if from what I understand, Nicholson is the exact man we're looking for.

Now, um, I don't think it will take too much persuasion to enlist his support.

Just do what you have to do, but remember this:

The secret of Luftwaffe B97 is to remain precisely that. Secret.

I'll get it, Jack. I'll get it.

Good morning. Is, er... Jack Stuart here?

He is, sir. Come this way.

Thank you, sir.

No, your eyes don't deceive you Jack.

Laughton!

Tell me, is it you?

It's been nearly forty years.

Ooh, and a colonel now?

What is it? Still special services?

Still the same, sir.

Ah. Then it was you that ordered the clamp put on the telephone.

Colonel, there's a lot going on around here that I don't know,

and a lot that you don't know.

Perhaps we'd better compare notes?

I'll second that motion, sir.

You know, I should like very much to meet the man who took these scans.

They're extremely sophisticated. Sensitive.

Well,

I suppose I could, as the Bard once did, pose the question: "Are we all met?"

Alex? Alex?

Some bloke in uniform out there. Thinks he's here for you.

Biopsy harpoon.

You know, I'd say that a piece of Nessie's flesh

is worth almost as much as the old girl herself.

You are Alex Nicholson?

You wore out your welcome in the States.

Moved over here and got yourself a cosy little home in Scotland,

and a cute little Scottish lass.

I have a matter of mutual benefit I wish to discuss with you.

What you Britishers call "Great Expectations", huh?

Remarkable. Absolutely remarkable.

Well gentlemen, this is a red letter day for all of us.

You found your monster, and we found ours.

Luftwaffe B97.

Leave it to an Englishman to call Nessie a monster.

A beastie, maybe. A myth, a wild thing, but not a monster.

Where in God's name hae yeh been, girl?

In my room, of course, like any dutiful granddaughter.

But I waited all night for yeh. I were out o' mah wits with concern.

You waited up until the decanter was empty.

You were dead to the world when I came in.

'Tis nae the first time.

Colonel, we're very pleased that you found your Luftwaffe B... whatever-it-is,

but we are scientists. You can understand our elation.

What young Dean has found is the lair of the Beastie.

That's where our interest lies.

Only fitting and proper that it should, sir.

Well, now.

You are all entitled to an explanation, I suppose, and I'm prepared to give it.

The aircraft,

lying there in the silt of Loch Ness, was one of Hitler's propaganda planes.

But it overshot London with its leaflets, and came to rest there, in the bay.

Intelligence has reconstructed the situation as follows.

The date: November 7, 1940.

The time: About midnight.

You are lying.

What?

You are lying.

It was October 6th, and the plane did not overshoot London,

and it was not a propaganda plane, and it was not carrying leaflets.

It was carrying high explosive hardware.

Mines destined for the shipping lanes.

You can talk about your intelligence all you want,

but I saw that plane go down,

and I have devoted much of mah life to finding out the facts behind it.

And now I'm gonna tell them,

before my wild thing there puts me in an early grave.

Why have you not spoken up about this before, sir?

Withholding that kind of information in Time of War?

Especially for a man of the service?

Why, that could be treason before the crown.

Truth! Treeeea-son!

What do these things mean to you?

Your whole reason for being here is a smokescreen

to cover up the indiscretion of a fellow officer.

Who cannot afford the blemish on his new knighthood.

Letters, and papers, and trips and enquiries.

Even my son made a trip to Germany, God rest his soul.

Matters at the time were desperate for the British.

Hitler's savage U-boat attacks had driven the convoys from America

into the North Atlantic, and here into the North Channel.

Jerry conceived a grand plan to mine the North Channel with explosives.

Operation Juggler began with one plane here in occupied in Norway,

across the North Sea,

down the Caledonian Canal, the River Ness, to Lochend.

The plan was to move through the loch

and into the North Channel with the mines.

But, here at Ben Norris, our story took a different turn.

The British have always used the loch for training,

and at the time there was an anti-aircraft station here,

manned by one Donald Gregory.

You know him now as Sir Gregory;

Member of Parliament, Knight of the realm.

This night, when Luftwaffe B97 crossed Ben Norris,

there was no one at the post.

Young Gregory was at Inverness, coupled with a lady of the evening,

and bombed out o' his mind with a hundred proof.

Dewar's I believe it was.

Our story doesnae end there.

Being born to the manor has its advantages.

Influence of the highly-placed is formidable.

British intelligence leaked a story to the Germans

that the young man at Torr Point

had blown the bomber out of the sky.

Göring had to abandon his plan to mine the North Channel,

and young Gregory began his steady climb to knighthood.

There's the marker, that buoy. The cross-hatch was right.

We're just below Torr Point, opposite Dores.

It's pretty deep here. I can't be down very long.

With these plastics you'd better not be. The timer is irreversible.

Once she's set, she goes in forty-seven seconds.

But the important thing is this, better hear me.

This is your story: You were testing a new and your biggest biopsy harpoon.

You thought you saw a large, aquatic animal.

A sea horse or seal. Anything. Doesn't matter.

You fired. You saw the explosion. You got out fast.

How can you be sure the plastics will explode those mines?

They're forty years old.

Those aren't rugby balls down there.

The shell is two and a half inches of German steel

made by the Krupp munition works.

That's the one thing they did right.

All right, suit up.

What we're faced with is a few thousand pounds of explosives,

lying at the mouth of Nessie's lair.

Oooh, ah dinnae think the Colonel's concerned too much about the explosives.

He's made a provision for that.

His concern is that no one ever discover

that the skin of that aircraft is unblemished.

No anti-aircraft, no hits,

no tail assembly blown off, no wingtips missing.

Well now...

Spencer Dean, I have a lot to tell yeh and it's not about that plane.

It's about Nessie. I want you to promise you won't leave without me.

Gentlemen, gentlemen. You may indulge yourselves in these fantasies as much as

you wish, after my driver returns, but until then, please, spare me.

And just where did your driver go, colonel?

It's all academic now.

I imagine in another few minutes,

Hitler's B97 and your precious Nessie will be rubble.

Not even a footnote in history.

Spencer Dean, I'm asking you without question to follow me.

It's Nessie's egg.

Ha ha. Oh, forgive an old man's indulgence.

I was just thinking of the different pathways men choose for themselves.

You, George, the scientist who would find Nessie.

Analyze her, scrutinize her, cut her up.

Write your technical papers and explain her all away.

All in the interest of science.

Perhaps that's good.

And you, colonel, destroy her,

to hide your dark and shameful secret.

Me? Well...

I suppose I would leave her be,

and not let her mystery unravel for another fourteen hundred years.

Aye, Jack Stuart.

You are an endangered species.

So what is the sum of it all?

Your fancy Lord Gregory will retire to his place in Kent, and your professors

and your classrooms

will have all the parts of Nessie they need for their microscopes.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Spencer Dean?

We're not so far apart, you and I.

New evidence on the existence of a population of large animals in Loch Ness,

remove the stigma of crackpot from any scientist, or group of scientists,

who wish to investigate the biological phenomena of Loch Ness.

After the bomb, mankind is near extinction and robots take over,

creating a master race of bionic beings.

By the first of next month, we will outnumber the humans.

- With human-like passions... - I love you, Esme.

And superhuman strengths...

You are a robot.

Can anyone stop their mechanical mayhem?

Creation of the Humanoids.

This man is possessed by an evil brain from another planet.

Its mission: to rule the universe with its awesome powers.

It'll make the atomic bomb look like a firecracker.

The entire world is at the mercy of this perverted cerebrum.