Original subtitles

256.

That's how many days it's been since the doctor said I was completely clear of

my cancer.

It's funny, when I first got the diagnosis, all I could think about were

things that I hadn't done.

Guy diving, flying in a hot air balloon over Turkey, seeing the pyramids.

Then suddenly you beat it, and you tell yourself you're going to do all of these

things, but you don't.

Not enough money, can't take time off work, etc.

You fall back into the same routine, like it never even happened.

Like nothing ever changed.

Things did change.

And a near brush with death never really affects just you.

It affects those around you as well.

They say the first year of marriage is the hardest.

Throw in a diagnosis like I had, and it would have broken anyone.

Don't get me wrong, she was there for me.

Every appointment, every treatment.

My loving, devoted wife.

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

Oh.

Wow.

Is the doctor sure about that?

Wow. Okay.

Yeah, I'll call the doctor back for a follow -up appointment as soon as

possible. Thank you. Bye.

Babe, I just got a call from the doctor.

He said I'm in complete remission.

What?

I know I can hardly believe it either.

That's amazing.

I noticed the change in her the first day.

It was slow, gradual, but it grew every day.

I felt her pulling away.

The day that I got the call that I was announced cancer -free, you might as

have told her the finalists of the National Poker Championship.

Unfazed, uninterested, detached.

It was almost like she wasn't my wife anymore.

She was an empty shell of who my wife used to be.

To be honest, I'd resent me too.

But lately I've started wondering how much longer we can keep on living like

this.

Hello, beautiful.

I hope you're hungry.

I made your favorite.

I wish you would have told me.

I grabbed something at the cafeteria after my shift.

Oh. Well, I'm sure you wouldn't mind a glass of wine, then?

A glass of wine sounds lovely, actually.

This is the expensive bottle your parents bought us for our wedding.

What's the occasion?

Do we need a special occasion to celebrate?

We have a good life.

That's a good enough reason.

Yeah.

I guess you're right.

Babe.

I'm really trying.

And I'm not?

I just finished a 16 hour shift.

I'm sorry if I'm not a ball of energy.

I don't know what you expect from me, Cora.

I... What?

More about you?

When was the last time you actually asked me how I was?

I just wanted to read a book in the bath and go to bed.

But here I am.

Drinking. With you.

Trying.

Sorry. God.

Let me run you a bath.

I just wanted to do something nice for you. I didn't know.

So, how was your day, Irene?

You know what? Thank you so much. Lovely of you to ask.

Let me tell you about it. It started with a surprise phone call from the

Turns out our insurance does not cover your rehabilitation counselor.

Dr. Putrid Breath still thinks it's cute to call me honey and pick the hairs off

my scrubs.

Doris forced me to cover for Janice, though I did a double and walked up and

down the maternity ward until I got... Can we finally address the elephant in

the room?

You have completely checked out of our marriage.

I just did the shit from hell. I'm not doing this tonight.

You can't keep avoiding me anymore. I can't take it.

It's like me getting diagnosed with cancer drove a wedge between us.

Was it inconvenient for you?

Because it was a hell of a lot more inconvenient for me.

I love you.

I always have.

Why can't things just go back to the way they used to be?

The way they used to be?

I literally had to wait for you to die!

I had to wake up every day with the real - realization that I wasn't going to

have my wife within a year.

Thank you.

Oh,

my God.

Oh my gosh.

I'm asking you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh my god.

He's so fucking gorgeous from head to toe.

I feel like I'm gonna spoil you.

Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.

Mm -hmm.

Cancer that I had in my body months ago was killing her.

And what if it came back?

I knew that there was nothing more that I could do.

She may have loved me, but there was always going to be that fear in the back

her mind.

I couldn't live with myself watching her slowly die inside day by day.

Something needed to change.

If you would have told me three years ago that this is how it was going to

I would have laughed in your face and told you to fuck off right before I

on my old bike and drove off into the night to the next town.

Airport, please.

We always seem to think we're invincible when we're younger.

We're all unstoppable until someone comes into your life and changes it

irreversibly.

And no matter how hard you try, you never find anyone like them ever again.

When I had my first breakup in high school, my mother told me, Everyone will

enter your life as a season.

Sometimes you barely make it out and learn how to prepare for the next

But sometimes you grow and you enjoy the beauty that that season brings.

For me, the hardest, most beautifully vivid season was Antonella.