Original subtitles

♪ What is, what is, what is the future? ♪

♪ Welcome to the world of tomorrow! ♪

You people make me sick!

Hi, Bender.

All happy and cozy.

How are you two so perfect for each other?

-Aw, it's not so complicated. -Yeah.

-We're just so different. -We're just so similar.

What?!

You think we're similar?

Well, sure. We're like two bats in a belfry.

No, we're not.

We have completely different personalities,

and they complement each other.

-Opposites attract. -Uh-huh, uh-huh.

I'm takin' note of the exact moment I lost interest.

I'm lookin' for somethin' a lot shallower in a relationship.

Let's hit da club!

The Hip Joint? Oh-ho! I haven't been there in ages.

Me neither. We're so similar in that way.

That place sucks burps.

We're going someplace hotter.

Down, please.

You know the password?

Uh, no. Let's just leave.

Sorry. You can't leave unless you know the password.

Haw-haw!

Oh, it's unbearable!

I didn't say stop.

Ow!

Phew.

Good thing those spikes retracted at the last second as far as I know.

Ah, welcome, old friends!

What are we drinking tonight?

Oh no, it's the Robot Devil!

Can I get a Flaming Navel?

That'll be $10. Two straws?

No, we have completely different tastes.

I'll have, uh... the Flaming Navel.

That's the same thing I got.

It is? Then, uh, no umbrella for me.

That'll be 10 more dollars

for the same total amount of liquor!

Welcome to Hell.

Alright! Time to start hittin' on people.

Hey, you there!

-Who, me? -Who, me?

Yeah! You single?

-I'm afraid not. -I'm afraid not.

Ugh... oh.

Hey, isn't that Barbot? The Bronze Bombshell?

Oh, mama!

I've always wanted to put the moves

on a world-famous whatever she does, if anything.

Don't wait up!

Can I help you?

Yeah, uh, I'm here to hit on Miss Barbot.

Miss Barbot is a professional celebrity.

She doesn't see just anyone.

Oh, she'll see me.

I doubt it.

Hey, baby. Is it hot in Hell... or is it just you?

Is somebody talking words?

I, I thought I heard, like, a word noise.

Many ladies say my noises are loud, but deadly.

It sounds like a squ-wirrel or something.

Someone throw it a hot wing.

Man! It's like she can't even see me.

I can't see you.

My neck joint doesn't tilt down that far.

Hey, wait a second.

Am I... short?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, wait.

Short? Yes.

I thought you said smart.

I thought I was one of the tallest guys in the world,

and now it turns out I'm short?!

Oh, lordy-loo. If you want to be taller,

why not just use your extendo-legs?

Don't you think I've thought of that?!

-Yes. -Well, I didn't!

But I can only do it for a few seconds

before my stabilizers give out.

Whoa, whoa!

I'm pathetic.

I'll understand if you've lost all fear of me.

Aw, nonsense, robot.

You make up for your small size with a big personality.

-You sure do. -That's right.

-Really? -No.

You were actually correct for once.

Statistically, short men earn 12% less

and are 23% less respected.

Cork it, stumpy! I'm docking your pay.

Husband! You forgot somethin'!

My manwich! Thank you, dear.

You probably couldn't see it up on that not-very-high shelf.

Aw, see that, Bender?

LaBarbara's way taller than Hermes,

but it doesn't get in the way of a happy marriage.

That's my job.

And look, Bender,

-Leela and I are exactly the same height. -Completely different heights.

You think we're the same height?

-I think whatever you think. -I don't think you do.

Who cares? We're talkin' about me, and I hate being short!

I have had it up to...

...here!

Well, schmuckily, there's an easy way to deal with this.

You just need to dress tall, like Scruffy.

Vertical stripes. Mm-hmm.

Dang! That's the tallest short guy I've ever seen.

-Ladies. -Hello, handsome.

Goodbye, Bender.

Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop!

Bubblegum, can I ask you somethin'?

Sure, Bender.

You know my good friend, Wembanyumyum?

It's Wembanyama.

-Wembanyoyo? -Eh.

Nice to meet you down there.

What's on your mind?

Well, I've recently always wished I was tall.

What's it like?

Bender, the true measure of a man

is not his physical stature.

Not when you're short, it ain't.

Being tall does have some downsides.

I mean, sometimes women are into you just for your height.

Really?

And people just assume you're great at basketball.

Even if you are!

Life up here is legit rough, my friend, but it's cool.

-Damn cool. -And not that rough.

The point is, you need to be happy with who you are.

Which can be difficult for short guys.

But, hey, keep trying.

Thank you.

I knew I could count on basketball players.

I understand now that I need to love myself

for who I am.

Or...

So what do ya say?

You make me taller in return for my... immortal soul?

Come on, Bender.

You've sold me your soul six or seven times already!

I'm swimming in soul IOUs over here!

Oops, I forgot my IOUs. Will you accept an IOIOU?

Forget it. I'm through torturing souls anyway.

I've moved into a new, much more evil business.

Have you heard of... health insurance?

Sure. It's a basic right of everyone in our society,

except humans.

I simply have one of my in-network physicians

peddle you a prescription...

...and voila!

Robot growth pills to treat your chronically normal height.

Neat. And is there a catch, O' King of Lies?

Your copay is three cents,

but I'll bill your insurance $27,000!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are these steroids?

Don't be absurd. Steroids can't affect gears and circuits.

I feel stupid for askin'.

These are D-roids, digital steroids.

Don't take D-roids if you're allergic to D-roids.

Side effects include

dry, rusty eyes, droid rage,

antenna shrinkage, loose or watery bricks,

athlete's ass...

...various deliciously ironic consequences,

and frequent death.

Ask your devil if D-roids are right for you.

Questions?

Yeah. Are D-roids right for me?

I don't know, Bender. Are you sure you wanna do this?

Oh yeah! Come on, baby!

Eat that thing! Woo!

That's what I thought.

Go, Bender! Go, Bender! Go--

Uh-oh.

Which concludes our mandatory seminar on robot harassment.

It's too bad Bender wasn't here.

He loves harassing people.

Say, where is the robot?

Up here, dummy!

Ow!

Hey, I've always wanted to hit my head on a doorway,

and now I can.

Wow!

I take back everything I ever muttered

about you being a short jerk.

I'm 40% taller!

Bender, you nincombot! Don't tell me you took D-roids!

Okay, I won't. Hey, everyone else!

I took D-roids! Now come on!

Let's have an office basketball game for the first time ever.

That's right. I'm slam dunkin'!

Woo! I'm not fittin' in an airplane seat!

Yeah! I'm givin' out awkward crotch hugs!

I bet I can't even stand up under that fan.

Told ya!

Hello, ladies. Notice anything taller about me?

Taller, sure, but nothin' else about you changed.

Wanna catch a movie later?

Oh, so now you're interested,

but yesterday you rejected me

'cause I didn't meet your "unrealistic physical standards"?!

Well, listen up, missy!

I'll pick you up at eight!

President Calculon.

We have evidence of a scandal so scandalous

that the mere sight of it will blow the lid off everything!

That's a hell of a big lid.

Show me this shocking evidence.

'Scuse me! Make a hole.

Suck in that gut, and... okay. I think these are our seats.

Uh, maybe those. Hang on, lemme check the tickets.

Hang on, looking... Lemme see this...

Oop, wrong movie.

-The robots have to go! -No, you shut up!

Hang on. I looked but not carefully.

Let me see that evidence again.

Yo, take off the hat after I punch it off.

I mean, before I punch it off!

This is discrimination, sir!

What do you have against people of height?

Barbot? Oh, my gosh!

Uh, you wanna go out sometime?

Hey, hey, she's already got a boyfriend, and he's outta town.

Ah, come on.

Let's just settle this like gentlemen and switch dates.

You callin' me a gentleman?!

Let me see that evidence a third and final time.

Do you recognize the individual who initiated the altercation?

Alta-whuh? I think you've mistooken me

for someone who knows vocabuloni.

-The guy that started it. -Ohhh...

That's him!

The one with the tall.

Mwah!

Barbot, over here! Who's the new squeeze?

I'm actually not sure.

The name's Bender.

How do you spell that?

Uh... B? No, wait. D?

No, E.

"Hot plus tall equals sexy?"

Well, you can't argue with the math.

Ugh. Barf me with a spork.

It's so shallow. They'll never have what you two have.

Which is what, exactly?

We seem to have lost track of how we function as a couple.

Yeah. Are we the type who complete each other's--

Sentences? No.

We're two different people

-with different things to say. -Different things to say.

You're both short and you're both idiots!

Barbot and I are the new "It" couple.

Here we come! Everybody look!

Nice to meet you, Miss Barbot.

What are you two love birds up to today?

Well, I had a big audition, but it got canceled.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Because they already cast me based on just look at me.

I'm starring in the new Godzebo movie!

-Wow! -Well, congratulations!

-That's amazing! -Mazel!

Godzebo? Don't you mean Godzillow?

They couldn't get the rights to Godzillow,

so the writers invented an all-new

and completely original monster named Godzebo!

H-He's a lot like Godzillow.

And will you be joinin' us for work today, Bender?

Hell no! I'm needed on the set.

-I don't think you are. -See you next month!

Ow! Still got it.

Places, everyone! Places.

Quiet on the set so you can hear me yelling!

And, where's our monster?!

Getting into costume.

Wow. Movie magic.

Hey Barbot, check it out. He's eating me!

No, Godzebo, don't eat me!

Ooh!

That's a whole lotta lizard.

What, what, what, what, what, what?

And... action!

Oh, isn't he just the most tallest-est?

-Hey, hotshot. -Huh?

I don't remember this being in the script I didn't read!

Cut! We'll have to shoot it again.

We can't. That was our last Tokyo.

Uh, then change the title to "Godzebo Versus Mecha-Godzebo."

Next shot!

Okay, you're injured, you're gorgeous,

and a big, stupid iguana loves you for no reason.

That's your motivation, nothing!

Just look up and act towards the tennis ball!

Action!

Okay, that's it!

Hey, hey, there we go.

Coming soon, a love story

as big as Godzebo is large.

Whoa!

Didn't we used to have a roof?

Uh, friends, you might wanna look at the TV.

-An ad for soup? -Yes. I'm so hungry.

We interrupt this soup

to bring you a special report.

Brought to you by... soup!

Your kids deserve it, after what they did.

A colossal mecha-monster is laying waste

to New New York City.

That's all. Now, back to soup.

Sweet Colossus of Calabah-sas!

Bender's droid-rage is out of control!

What are we gonna do?!

And also, isn't it pronounced Calabasas?

Alas, I'm afraid we're down to our last two hopes.

Begin with the first of the two.

A doomsday device.

Just a small one. We don't want too much doom.

No! You can't kill Bender!

That's right. We can't.

Because he's too damn big.

That's why we need a counter-monster.

We'll drop the doomsday device in the depths of the Pacific

to awaken Godzooka from his ancient slumber.

-You mean Godzebo? -He means Godzillow.

I mean Godzooka!

The actual space dinosaur those fictional characters are based on.

But unlike them, he defends our cities.

Doesn't Godzooka only defend Tokyo?

I think he'll go where the action is.

You mentioned two last hopes, Professor.

What's the other one for when this one fails?

Ah, yes.

Uh, due to Bender's ungainly size and droid-addled brain,

he's lost all coordination.

Fry, Leela,

you'll need to get inside him and take manual control.

Is that even possible?

Probably not. Ta-ta!

Prepare to drop the device!

Uh... okay. I feel pretty prepared.

Drop the device!

But don't drop it yet.

We need to put a little distance between ourselves and--

What's up, guys? Don't forget to like and subscribe to--

Take a picture. It'll last longer.

Here, you can use my camera.

Ugh! Ew!

I love you, Bdeedr!

Duh...

-Now! -Wait, when? Ow!

Helps! Who will saves us from this rams-paging robot?

Huh?

Ah! Ah!

Wow. Who woulda thought Bender's head was completely empty?

I guess everyone.

It's Godzooka!

Oh, thank God! He's here to save us from Bender.

We are Bender! Quick, we need to take control.

It's a two-pilot setup.

You work his left side, I'll work the right.

Each of us using our unique,

wildly different fighting styles.

Ow!

Fighting separately isn't working!

We need to act as one unified force!

But there's two separate controllers.

Why would they design it that way?

Because it looks cool. Del Toro out.

Somehow we have to be two wildly distinct individuals

and one perfectly unified force at the same time!

It's just stupid!

Well, everything's stupid when you're in love.

-Ah! -Ow!

We thank you, Godzooka-San,

for saving our humble megalopolis from that iron jerkwad.

We'll see about that.

I'm rooting for you...

...left-side guy!

Hiya!

And, cut! That's a wrap, people! We'll write it in editing!

Bender Rodríguez, for saving our city

from that off-brand reptilian menace,

I'm proud to present you with this manhole cover

on a leftover Pride banner.

Wait... wasn't Bender the bad guy?

Oh, loosen up, Amy.

Thank you, Mayor Poopenmeyer.

And to Godzooka, my noble adversary...

...who I easily beat up

with almost no effort,

let me simply say this:

You're dead and I'm tall!

Aw, man! The D-roids wore off!

And yet the butt rash is permanent!

Bite my itchy metal ass!

Sorry the tall thing didn't work out, Bender.

You ever consider getting fat instead?

Briefly, but then I realized I have something better

than physical size.

Right on, shorty. You've got confidence.

Confidence is for losers.

What I have is overconfidence.

Is that you, Bdeedr? Where are you?

Down here, baby. Deal with it.

Ooh! Mm!

Now come on. Let's go back to my place.

I need you to change a light bulb.

Oh!