Original subtitles

Previously on emily owens m.D.: I like you.

I-I don't know, I don't see you like that.

Don't you recognize me? Emily: Do I recognize you?!

You were my tormentor, my nemesis.

I'm so bad with names.

Cassandra kopelson. From high school.

Anyone but cassandra.

She is awful!

I'm going to date your friend.

Do you bake? I'm thinking lemon bars.

So, you're friends with my daughter.

Chief dupre. Yes.

Whatever you did, you had good intentions,

Because that's just who you are.

I take it back. Ask her out.

In the year 2000,

There was a hotly contested

Presidential election-- and I'm not talking

About the one gripping the nation;

I'm talking about

The one gripping our debate club,

The west wilton wordsmiths.

After careful deliberation, I decided

To throw my hat in the ring-- but then,

A new student joined debate.

The fact that cassandra kopelson

Was way too pretty and way too cool

To be a debater was lost on my classmates.

So they voted for her, every last one of them.

I let it go.

I'd lost.

Accept it.

You lost.

Oh, will looks happy.

Good for him.

Ugh, who am I kidding?

I hate that she's making him happy.

So, I wanted to talk to you. Yeah? What's up?

Well, he... Me.

Says that I've been a little bit of

A bitch to you. I didn't say "a little bit."

The point is,

You guys are friends, and...

I like him, a little bit.

Not a little bit.

So I want things to be good with us,

And I'm really gonna make an effort.

Good.

Me, too.

Oh. Hey, sunny.

What a waste of time

Anything other than "dr. Bandari's a brilliant teacher.

It's such an honor to learn from her." I did.

You did what?

I wrote an honest critique of dr. Bandari in my evaluation.

Uh... I wrote that she's brilliant, of course,

But... I took issue with some of her methods.

I think that strength in a mentor is admirable,

To intimidate, some students are reluctant to ask questions,

And it impedes the learning process.

(titters)

Will: Hilarious, (laughing)

Owens. Fine, you're right, she's funny.

Okay, why are we laughing?

(laughing): Why wouldn't I offer... Constructive criticism?

(laughs)

Are you serious?

Oh, pits.

Uh... Uh, e-emily.

Once she reads it, she's gonna wonder who went negative.

She'll totally smoke you out. She gets them?

Yeah. They go to the chief, and then they go to dr. Bandari.

Excuse me.

Wait.

Wait. Dr. Owens, we need you in 512.

Um, yes. Can you just give me two minutes? I just have

To grab something. Yeah, no problem.

Okay, thanks.

I was kidding.

Hi. Kyle putnam.

Dr., uh, owens, was it?

Kyle putnam! He's kyle putnam!

Yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was, uh, y-you.

We need you to play interference, dr. Owens.

Got a patient who delivered about three months ago,

And she's suffering from a pretty bad case of postpartum...

World-famous pediatrician,

Published in every journal of consequence,

Speaking engagements all over the country.

...Past three months. Just in and out...

And rumor has it he's slept with half the hospital.

Why was she admitted? She wasn't.

Her baby was-- jake.

This time, there is something.

Three-month-old admitted with slight fever,

Unexplained abdominal pain and vomiting.

Now, I'm monitoring the baby,

But the mom is driving me crazy,

So I need you to keep her away from me.

Okay?

Oh, do you have the test results yet?

Because I was looking up jake's symptoms on this web site,

And it said that it could be

A heart condition or leukemia or a stroke...

She'll answer any and all questions you have.

Okay, but do you think that...

Dr. Owens-- all your questions.

Bonus points if you can get the mom on meds.

Early detection is really important

In disease, right?

Uh, yes, definitely, it is,

But we don't know that...

Um... Jake, is it?

We don't know that he has anything.

All the tests are still pending.

I didn't know if we should come back.

We've been to the hospital before,

But this time he's really sick. I mean, you even said

That he's really sick. He is.

He's been throwing up,

And now this fever... And when I look

On the internet, I see all these things...

I know, it's... It's awful.

And there's always a small chance that it's something serious, but there's

A much better chance that it's not one of those serious things.

And you're at the best facility,

And we're running all the right tests. I promise.

See? Look, he's doing that thing with his legs again now.

Man: Honey, come on, you can't focus on every little thing like that.

I mean... Kids, they move their legs.

Right, doc?

Has... Has he been doing that a while?

The mother never mentioned contortions to me.

In fact, she mentioned just about everything

Except for contortions. The husband thought it was normal baby stuff,

And she was so focused on cancer and...

I think that we should do an ultrasound...

Medicine should remain inaccessible.

...To check for intussusception. You know, we should invent

A private language for doctors.

You're in charge of that, dr. Owens.

Kyle: Yes, on the ultrasound.

Add it to the labs.

So, we're adding an ultrasound. I heard.

Um, also, I wanted to ask you about the attending evaluations.

I'm assuming you already gave them to the chief. Are you sleeping

With dr. Putnam?

God, no.

I...

No offense if you have. He can be

Very charming, and yes...

...I gave those evaluations to the chief.

Peace offering?

Thanks for telling me.

Yeah. Well, I figured, if you were free,

You might want to watch.

Nervous? The first cut's a big deal.

You know, it's funny, I thought I would be.

I'm not.

All right.

Make a diagonal incision on the abdominal wall

In the right lower quadrant,

Parallel to the edge

Of the external oblique muscle.

Good. Now dissect

Through the subcutaneous tissue.

If there's any significant bleeding...

Cautery. Got it.

He's just so freaking sexy.

No, please don't talk about...

It's funny, I was actually nervous

About sleeping with him the first time.

And there it is.

Thought it might be a letdown.

It's not.

Cool.

Oh, I know, I know,

It's weird that I'm talking to you.

(laughs)

But, um, well, I don't really

Have any girlfriends here yet,

And... Will wants us to get along, so...

Yeah, it's fine.

(clears throat)

We'll just take it slowly.

The whole friendship thing.

Cassandra: Sounds good.

(moans) I'm gonna go crazy on him tonight.

(beeping)

Okay, just say you haven't handed in your evaluation yet.

Someone must have been imitating your handwriting.

Yes. That's perfect. Good plan.

What am I saying? That is terrible.

That makes no sense.

Oh, thank god. I thought I was in trouble.

What are you doing here? What's going on?

I'm ready. Or at least part ready.

The other part's freaking out, but I thought I'd take advantage

Of the part that's ready. To come out to your dad?

I feel stuck-- I want to move forward. It's time.

Like you said. That's great. You have to tell me how it goes.

When I totaled my dad's car and made my friend mandy come with me to tell him, because

My dad's a proud guy, and I knew he wouldn't freak out

In front of mandy... I am not your mandy.

You're my mandy.

I am absolutely...

Emily: The evaluations. I have to get mine back.

Why? What did you write?

This crazy critique of dr. Bandari.

Oh, mandy.

I'm not mandy.

You are so mandy.

Listen, I'm really proud of you

For being honest with your dad, I really am,

But-- oh, this must be it--

You have to do it alone.

(door opens) dad.

We have to talk.

Dupre: You told?

No, I didn't. I didn't.

You didn't what?

Hmm?

The hospital fund-raiser. This case we were...

What? Nothing.

I was speaking with dr. Owens

About the hospital fund-raiser.

So, how come you said it was about a case?

Okay, this is freaking me out.

What's going on?

I should go. No, no, you're not leaving.

What's going on?

You're overreacting.

Are you sick?

No.

I'll call mom.

Tyra, stop. Mom will tell me.

I made a mistake.

What kind of mistake?

An indiscretion.

You mean... An affair?

Dupre: Dr. Owens saw me with...

The other woman.

It's over now.

It was a mistake, tyra.

I'm s...

Tyra.

Wait.

When did you see them together?

My first day.

I'm so sorry.

I...

(beeping) I feel terribly.

It's me, dr. Owens. Answer your pager.

(sighs) yes, okay. Sorry.

You took a few inches

Off your hair. Like?

Mm-hmm. Love.

Hi, peter.

Hi.

Peter: Mmm. They look scared.

Have you been mean, gina?

I am guessing they will be as glowing as always.

Dr. Owens, present.

Peter: Oh, no worries. I got it.

Male, 28, long history of coarctation of the aorta,

Open-heart surgery

At 16, and again at 17, balloon dilation at 17,

Two times at 19 and 21.

All performed by the highly esteemed dr. Bandari.

Admitted today to repair

The swelling of my aorta

Before it ruptures.

Oh, and I was also her first-- heart surgery.

Yeah, yeah, you never forget your first.

'course not. That means she'll take good care of you.

Well, it's in god's hands.

My hands. It's in my hands.

Through which god works. Woman: Be warned.

Gina: You think god's a micromanager.

No. But he has a plan.

Woman: All right, enough, enough.

No one is going to win.

Which is god's will, as well.

(peter chuckles)

Dr. John fitzgerald. Sorry I'm late.

Oh, so you're the guy

Who's done this crazy thing before.

Yes, but I will be breathing down his neck during surgery, I assure you.

Peter: They... Look confused.

Mmm. Always.

Peter has developed an allergy to anesthesia.

His reactions seem to get worse with each surgery.

What? Uh, then how will we...

I have successfully done the repair

Using an epidural to block the pain.

Awa... Awake during open-heart surgery?

You know, if you looked less shocked,

It might help with my nerves.

Sorry. Yes, of course.

It says here that fitzgerald's

One of three surgeons to do this procedure.

Apparently, he can perform end-to-end anastomosis in under seven minutes.

(phone rings) (laughs) you do realize this is a bad-ass case we're on.

Oh, totally.

Oh, I have to get this. Oh. Okay.

Wow, I think cassandra and I

Actually just had a normal conversation.

Maybe we can start over. Huh.

Didn't see that coming.

Looks like dr. Owens was right.

It iintussusception.

That sounds serious? Is it serious?

Let him explain it, hon.

Emily: Um... If you think

Of the small intestine like a sock,

It's supposed to be pulled up to your knee,

But in jake's case, it's pushed down to his ankle,

Obstructing his bowel-- so we just need

To stretch it out to its normal shape.

How? We give him a barium enema.

It's a minimally invasive procedure,

And in most cases, the problem's solved. You see that?

I told you not to worry.

Dr. Owens. Uh, you guys can go ahead

And pick up jake.

Call social services.

Emily: We all have faith in something.

What kind of abnormality?

God, science, our partner, ourself.

And... Why is shhere?

We need certain things to be true.

All our plans depend on it.

I'm a social worker. Sometimes this type

Of diagnosis can be difficult to process. Woman: What diagnosis?

What's wrong with jake?

Because, in the absence of that...

There's nothing wrong with your child per se,

But jake is an intersex child.

(jake grunts)

...Chaos... Externally, jake has

Male sex organs; internally, jake has female sex organs.

What?

How does that happen?

In about one percent of all births.

You can fix him, right? Do a surgery?

Kyle: If you decide to,

We can surgically assign a gender.

What do you mean, if? Of course we're gonna do it-- he's a boy.

Why wouldn't we?

The surgery to remove the male sex organs

Is more simple,

But the surgery to remove

The female organs could pose a significant risk

To jake's health.

Are you telling us we should turn him into a girl?

The decision is entirely yours.

But we would like to run

Some more tests to determine jake's chromosomal composition.

It'll help to shed some light on a prognosis

For gender identity. What are you talking about, gender identity?

The idea of male and female,

It's much more complicated than we originally thought.

We don't know yet how jake will identify.

How his... Or her brain

Will be wired. Kyle: Mapping jake's chromosomes

Might give us a better picture of who he or she may become.

This is crazy.

He's a boy.

(cooing)

Run the tests.

Just...

At least let them run the tests.

Consider yourself lucky, dr. Owens.

You may find yourself in a very interesting surgery soon.

Or you will, dr. Dupre.

My case got a little more complicated.

I'll need one of you to deal with the mother,

And the other to assist with the child.

Get her up to speed.

I'll read the chart.

Tyra, I am sorry.

You're not even gonna talk to me?

Can you run these labs down to dr. Collins?

I just got a page. Yeah,

Sure, okay.

What's going on with you and pits?

Nothing.

Come on, what did she do?

Actually, never mind. I keep forgetting.

What? Emily and I are trying out the whole friendship thing.

It's important to will,

And she actually helped me out with him, so...

What? Nothing.

(laughs) no. What's going on?

What do you know?

Will. I like that name.

Was I really your first, will?

You really were. Good.

You never forget your first.

Now, listen,

I got the runs.

Hope that doesn't scare you off.

Don't just stand there.

Join the party, sweetheart.

Emily: Sorry to interrupt.

These are for you. Thank you.

Good job in the o.R.

Will: Thank you.

So, about how many times

Have you been to the bathroom? Looks like

I got some competition, huh?

Oh, no, we're, uh... We're just friends.

On the can every other minute,

Feels like. She know it?

Dr. Collins, what's the likely diagnosis?

C-diff. In english, for the common folk, honey?

It's a bacterial infection that could be caused

When the antibiotics kill all the good bacteria

In your intestines.

And I'd agree. Just run the test to be sure.

Man: Like hell I can't. His name is jake.

We painted his room blue. He has a p... What if

He wakes up when he's ten and he feels like a girl--

Then what happens? What happens is,

He won't be a freak show, that's what happens.

Who wants some good news?

Sock's back at the knee.

His intestine's returning

To its original shape. (woman sighs)

That's great.

When will the chromosome tests be back?

Not for a little while.

Where are you going? We have a surgical meeting.

Oh, bandari's running 20 minutes behind,

So I'm gonna grab something to eat.

Oh. Great. I'll catch up on e-mails.

I'll see you there. Okay.

Page-turner?

(chuckling): Oh, yeah.

I'm guessing it's gonna end with my appendectomy patient

Getting a bolus of saline and then going home.

Or she'll just turn into a vampire.

For the record, I loved vampires

Before everyone else caught on.

Is this a point of pride? Mmm, just a fact

I am proud of because it happens to be true. So...

You and bram stoker, huh?

Pioneers of the genre?

(sighs)

See, that line

Really would have worked had you said polidori.

(whispers): Look it up.

Wha...?

So... Oh, I didn't see you there.

I was thinking...

About that barbecue place,

'cause I have never seen anyone inhale ribs like that.

Okay, okay, I told you I lost control for a minute.

You licked the plate. I didn't lick the plate.

I swept it with my finger. Which you then licked.

Mmm.

What's up?

I thought maybe it was time

To talk about things non-barbecue-related.

What... Kind of things?

Eight-to-ten-week things,

Depending on when you start counting.

Oh, when do you start counting?

Ten weeks ago. Got it.

Okay, sure, let's talk

About ten-week things.

(beeping) mmm.

Ah.

To be continued.

Couldn't be bothered to show up,

Dr. Owens?

Figure out what you missed.

What? I thought you said the meeting was pushed.

And I thought you helped me and will get together,

When, in fact, you told him not to date me.

Tyra told me.

So why'd you do it? Were you trying

To screw with me so I'd be off my game

And you could one-up me in front of bandari?

No. No, of c... Of course not. That's...

Stop. Stick to the plan.

You cannot let on that you have feelings for will.

She will destroy you if given that information.

I'm sorry.

No, you're not-- but you will be.

Here's what you missed--

I'm assisting, you're babysitting.

(clears throat softly) I'm s...

I'm sorry. Uh,

We're ready for you.

Honey, it's in god's hands.

I know.

I just hope god knows

How much I want you here.

Woman: I'm in hell.

Like I keep telling her-- my tush

Is on fire.

And not in a good way.

I know you're in a lot of pain.

We're just, um, waiting on the labs.

You got to give me something.

I'm up and down every five minutes.

I just had surgery.

Come on, cutie.

I'm an old lady. I can't take it.

(sighs) I'm sure it's c-diff.

Start her on loperamide and vancomycin.

Have you feeling better in no time.

(exhales)

C-can you see my heart yet?

No, not yet.

Peter: Wh-what's that smell?

As they cut, they burn the wound to eliminate bleeding.

Okay. Shouldn't have asked.

Weitlaner. Peter: Is that some kind of a knife?

Are they still cutting me open?

Yeah, let's focus on something else.

(exhales) well, open to advice.

Desperate for advice.

Well, uh, when I want to escape,

I think about julie andrews in sound of music,

On top of that mountain, just totally free.

(whirring)

Not working. Is that a saw?

Let's talk about hannah. Where did you meet?

Uh, in, uh...

In b-bible study.

And did you know right away?

W-well, we were, uh...

Both a little shy and...

Let's be careful retracting.

Multiple sternotomies will have left scarring.

So... You were both shy.

Uh, uh, right.

So it took way too long to ask her on a date.

(chuckles) best thing I ever did, though.

She's everything to me.

Fitzgerald: We have a bleeder. Cautery gun, please.

Peter: Bleeder? Wh-what does that...?

(mechanical whirring)

Peter? (rapid beeping)

Blood pressure's dropping. Beginning cpr.

(rapid beeping continues)

(steady beep tone) gina: Paddles.

Give me paddles.

Paddles.

Five joules.

Nurse: Charged and ready. Everyone clear?

Clear. (thump)

(rapid beeping continues)

Fitzgerald: He's been down a minute. We need some epi here.

Charge to ten. We're losing him.

Come on, peter. Charging at ten. Charged at ten.

Clear. (thump, whirr)

(rapid beeping continues) gina: Come on, peter.

Come on, come on, come on.

Clear.

Nurse: Total time for cpr is two and a half minutes.

Charge to 20. Charged at 20.

Clear.

(thump) again.

Clear.

(thump)

(sharp inhale)

(exhales)

(peter breathes, gags)

(relieved sighs)

(groans) what happened?

Suction, please.

You're gonna be fine.

(fluid suctioning)

When I asked her why, she said to ask you. (groans)

I just... Want this to end.

What's going on?

Tyra told cassandra that I asked you not to date her.

I know. I'm sorry. I feel terribly.

Especially considering what I have to ask you now.

Seriously?

Please don't tell her

About the crush part.

She thinks that I asked you

Just 'cause I don't like her.

(sighs)

(frustrated sigh)

You know, you really got to quit asking me to do all this stuff. I know.

This is the last time. I promise.

You ordered medication for dolores

Before her labs came back? It wasn't c-diff?

It was. That's not the point.

She was in a lot of pain, and I figured,

Since it was just loperamide and antibiotics,

Which wouldn't hurt... Procedures are there for a reason.

You wait for results, period.

I knew what it was. You didn't know. You guessed.

Which is how mistakes are made. I was right.

Mistakes are the reason people die. I didn't make a mistake.

Because you were lucky. No, the patient

Was lucky, because she

Was in pain and now she's not.

You're off the case.

(groans)

Stop judging me.

I'm not judging you.

Hmm. If I was, I'd be

Thinking that you should have waited for the results.

But you're not. Judging?

Yeah. No.

What was that all about?

Nurse: Your post-op is awake.

Were you scared?

(sighs) no.

Terrified.

(laughs)

Understandably.

Yeah, you know

At one point, it was almost like I blacked out.

What happened?

Um...

It was kind of a miracle, actually.

Your heart stopped...

And dr. Bandari brought you back.

I... I died?

You're gonna be just fine.

(loud breath)

(peter gasping) hannah: What's happening?

Honey, are you okay? He's hyperventilating.

We need oxygen. Just try and take deep breaths, okay?

I know this news can be a shock,

But everything is gonna be fine.

There was no damage, I promise.

(breathing steadies)

Two x chromosomes? What does that mean?

Kyle: That jake is genetically female.

However, when chromosomally female infants

Are delivered with male genitalia,

It means the infant was exposed

To abnormally high amounts of testosterone in utero,

And unfortunately, there's still no conclusive data

On what effects hormones have on the brain

At such an early stage of development.

So, you're saying you still don't know

What-what he is?

What are we supposed to do?

Gloria: Well, you can wait.

Allow your child to mature with both sex organs.

Jake will identify, and then you can do the procedure.

He'll be a freak.

Kate: He needs to be something.

He is-- he's a boy.

End of story.

He'll have the surgery now.

All right, we'll schedule it.

Please wait.

(gasps) the evaluation, I have to rewrite it.

No. (gasps) this isn't mine.

Hannah...

Peter?

What happened?

She had to leave the room.

She couldn't look at me after I told her.

After you told her what?

What's happening?

I've always known that when I die,

Something was gonna happen,

And I'm not talking

About white light or angels singing,

But something...

Deeper.

Warm and loving.

A, uh, julie andrews on the mountaintop moment.

But then you told me I died,

And everything changed.

Near-death experiences can be very unsettling.

Unsettling?

Everything in my life has been based on one fact,

That there is a god, that he has a plan.

But then I died, and there was nothing.

So maybe there is no god and maybe there is no plan.

I've never felt lost, dr. Owens.

My whole life, I've never felt...

Never felt lost.

(sighs)

What did you say to him?

What you told me to.

I... About a month ago,

You described a similar situation,

And you said to give a clear and concise answer

That emphasized the positive.

I wrote it down.

Okay, keep breathing.

You are on the mountain,

Leading seven delightful children in song.

You're an excellent student,

Dr. Owens.

Thank you.

She didn't mean it as a compliment.

Sorry.

And have you also heard me

Say that patients aren't textbooks?

You should've asked me.

He's a religious man.

He's had a near-death experience.

For all your supposed sensitivity,

You didn't think that might be traumatic?

I thought he would see it more like a miracle.

Well, apparently, you were wrong,

And you better fix it.

Sure, no problem.

I'll just prove there's a god.

No, I should've known that peter would react like that.

Off the record?

Always.

Dr. Bandari should've prepped you.

She's not always the best teacher.

Exactly.

That's what I wrote in my evaluation.

I said that she has a lot to offer,

But it's always delivered with so much negativity

That it's hard to process.

What about you?

You believe in god?

Please tell me you didn't really write that, did you?

Not really.

(chuckles)

I've actually been thinking about god a lot lately,

Since my mom got sick,

And I want to believe a higher power exists.

You? Yeah.

Sometimes.

I mean, this certainly wasn't my plan.

What plan is that?

I planned on being a together person,

Past all the crap, but I'm not past it.

I keep finding myself in the exact same situations,

And I don't know how to stop it from happening.

I gave up the illusion of control...

When was it?

Oh, yeah, about halfway through my first year as an intern.

Doctors can't plan, can we?

We just react.

The one thing you can control

Is how to react better.

So we learn from experience, right?

Next time, just do things differently.

Can I just say you are a much better teacher than dr. Bandari?

Hope you didn't put that in your evaluation.

Emily: You can say something. You can totally say something.

I mean, it's a little inappropriate, but...

What?

This might be

A little inappropriate.

That's okay.

Will knows that he screwed up.

He gets all defensive in the moment,

But then, right after, he knows that he screwed up.

Good to know.

Come on.

We, uh, got to get back.

(bell dings)

Tyra,

Can we...

Tyra, please wait.

I really don't care how sorry you are.

Good, 'cause I'm not.

I'm very, very sorry that you were hurt,

But I was

In an impossible situation.

You and I had just met, and your father

Is my boss,

And he is intimidating as hell,

And you, of all people, should know that.

So, how'd you go from "I'm sorry" to that?

Most times, when I'm in an uncomfortable situation,

My knee-jerk reaction is just to apologize,

And I'm trying to do something different.

And now's the moment when you apologize for telling cassandra.

(laughs)

You're forgiven.

So we're clear,

You're counting from dinner at arcadia?

Yes, I am counting from dinner at arcadia.

Could've gone nowhere.

Okay, look, I didn't want to have to get

All technical on your ass, but here's the deal.

Okay. You go on a date, and if it turns into a relationship,

You retroactively count from the first time you kissed,

Regardless of what your dating status was at the time.

So we're clear. Which means that

The eight- or ten-week question is actually predicated

On our relationship talk, which is still pending.

You make a good point.

So, can we just agree

To skip the talk and count retroactively?

We can do that, yes. Yeah?

Mmm. Okay.

If we weren't in a hospital right now, I'd be kissing you.

Just so we're clear.

Emily: If you don't want me here, I can go.

It's okay.

We met in bible study.

Yeah, he told me.

But I bet there were a lot of men in bible study.

You fell in love with him.

But if he's questioning his faith, then it's already gone.

Faith in god--

It's the basis of our life together.

And if we don't have that, I don't know what we have.

I might not be the best person to talk about god,

Considering, before today,

The last time I was in church was in college.

Maybe ninth grade.

But...

You guys talk about god's plan a lot.

Maybe peter

Questioning his faith

Is part of it, too.

(pager beeps)

(baby crying)

Fever's spiking and there's rectal bleeding.

Dr. Putman is on his way to the o.R.

Surgery? He needs surgery? I don't understand what's going on.

There's been a recurrence of the intussusception,

And we have to remove a segment

Of the intestine that's folded over.

Otherwise, there could be an infection.

Will he be okay?

Someone will be up as soon as there's news.

We'll do everything that we can.

Kate: When can we hold him?

As soon as the risk of infection subsides, but

Jake's gonna be fine.

When I was watching him being taken to surgery...

How can we put him through this again?

Risk losing him.

(coos)

We don't have to.

So, what, then?

We just... Leave him like this?

Part girl, part boy?

Kate: Till he's ready to choose for himself,

And that's the recommendation, right?

But what about... School?

I mean, kids, you know, they can be... Mean.

It's not the other kids' acceptance he'll need.

It's yours because you're his dad.

Dads can cast a pretty big shadow.

We got to give him a new name, then.

Something... Neutral.

So that if he

Indentifies... Girl,

It'll still work. (baby crying)

'cause you don't want to get involved

With new names when they get older.

Okay, we'll find a new name.

Okay.

(exhales)

Okay.

Okay, look, I don't know if god exists.

Or if she does, what she's like.

But that doesn't change the fact that I see miracles every day.

And you coming back from the dead,

That was a miracle.

How much did it kill you to say that?

(groans) you have no idea.

(laughs)

(quiet laugh)

Oh, well, I appreciate the effort.

What can I do?

(crying): Convince hannah not to leave me?

Hannah: I'm not.

I just needed a moment.

I'm here,

And I have faith in us.

(quiet sob)

I'm gonna leave you two alone.

Hannah: Go easy on that intern, okay?

She was helpful.

Gina: Oh...

I'll be sure to thank her profusely.

Hey. Micah put you back on the case? Nope.

I'm here as a visitor.

Dolores here is special-- she's my first.

Dolores: We're doing an extra lap

To celebrate my freedom from the can.

(laughs) I'll leave you to it.

See you tomorrow.

Bye.

Really, you two have never...?

Just friends.

Well, see, I don't believe men and women can just be friends.

Used to think I had some.

Over the years, slept with every last one of them.

(laughs) come on.

You never ever wanted to get horizontal with her?

Um... I knew it!

Once. Lay it on me, baby.

(clears throat) I was drunk. Classic.

And, uh, emily and I had been, you know, hanging out.

And I'd just broken up with this crazy girl.

Emily and I had such a great time, laughing,

Talking, whatever.

And I remember thinking when she left...

Why am I not dating her?

So you went after her,

Pushed her against a wall and screwed her.

(laughs)

Uh, no, I called her

And then I remember thinking, "well, this is a terrible idea.

I don't want to risk our friendship," so I deleted it.

But your version... Wow.

(exhales)

I am just so sick of it.

This whole dynamic.

You know what I'm sick of?

Your whole innocent act.

You're the one who's perpetuating this dynamic.

You hate me so much, you asked will not to date me.

No, that's not because I...

Be careful-- don't expose your weakness.

No, no, new plan.

React differently.

(exhales)

What? It's not because of what?

It wasn't because will is my friend; it's because I was...

Or maybe I still am in love with will.

And I told him that,

And he rejected me.

And when he chose you, it was incredibly painful...

Trying to get over him and seeing the two of you together.

I didn't think that I could handle it, so...

I asked him not to see you.

And I realized it was wrong,

And I took it back, but...

I'm trying not to apologize for things

That I'm not sorry for, but...

I am really sorry about that.

Well, at least you were finally honest.

Well, no apparent bleeding.

I saw emily go in, you came out.

She told me.

That she was in love with you and you rejected her.

Look, I didn't know you that long,

And emily and I had been friends for... No.

I get it.

You can make it up to me.

Yeah.

(gasps) but, uh,

Let's keep it professional at work.

Have a seat. I'm gay.

That's what I came here to tell you this morning.

And I've been so worried for so long about telling you

Because I was scared that I would disappoint you

Or you wouldn't accept me, but really,

And I don't really care what you think anymore.

Now I need a drink.

(laughs)

Sold.

We make all these plans about how things will turn out...

...But life happens,

Plans change, so we adapt.

We draw on strength we didn't know we had,

We give up any illusions of control,

And we deal head-on with problems that come our way.

I'll be right back.

Dr. Bandari.

I have been so stressed all day

About your evaluation, but you know what?

I stand by what I said.

Because it's how I feel,

And if you have a problem with... (coughs)

(whispers): I got yours back.

...Reading about

How brilliant of a teacher I think you are,

Then I'm sorry.

I'm not even going to ask, dr. Owens.

(quiet laugh)

Do you think she bought it?

No comment.

I mean, what the hell were you thinking?

Give that to me. Give it.

(laughs) "dr. Bandari's voice

Practically drips with condescension"?

I thought it was anonymous!

(laughs)

Unsatisfactory.

(both laughing)

Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org