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ANIMAL CRACKERS
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"I'm committing suicide because I'm
broke and alone in the world. Tot�."
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"UNPAID GAS BILL"
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"STRYCHNINE"
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But then you are not a mirror?
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Me? No!
I'm one who looks like you.
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Or rather, it is you who look like me.
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- Even in your voice.
- You too?
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Bicarbonate.
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Strychnine.
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Excuse me.
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Wait!
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Are you in a hurry to commit suicide?
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Would you mind waiting a few days?
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If I wait, it won't be a suicide.
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- Why?
- Because I would starve to death.
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I kill myself exactly to avoid starvation.
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I propose a deal.
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Do you want to gain
ten thousand lire in two days?
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Come to my house and let's talk.
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Meanwhile, read this letter.
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"Dear Tolomeo, kisses.
Your aunt Heloise.
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PS. I forgot to tell you that
according to the will, if you're not
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married with my niece Ninetta
before noon the day after tomorrow,
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five million lire will be donated
to the hospital for crazy animals."
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"CRAZY ANIMAL SANATORIUM"
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You and your husband have already seen
with what affection we treat animals here.
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00:04:10,029 --> 00:04:12,328
- Certainly.
- If you knew how they love us!
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Look how affectionate this dog is.
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You know why it yelps?
For fear that I hurt my foot.
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Oh, what a wonderful example!
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- Don't speak, idiot!
- Damn.
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- And here is the hammerhead.
- Please.
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Here is the hammerhead.
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It's depressed because
it has no goal in life,
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00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:36,523
as there is no nail-fish.
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00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:39,043
Do you see this beast?
Bring it here.
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Who knows why, it's fixated
that its wife betrays it.
39
00:04:42,405 --> 00:04:45,046
But here we can help.
Take it.
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00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:53,978
This patient is an ox obsessed with
the idea that his wife is unfaithful,
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00:04:54,048 --> 00:04:56,751
so every night he enters
through the window.
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This poor dog forgot his name.
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He's our amnesiac.
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00:05:09,196 --> 00:05:12,329
We have a monkey who fancies herself
a great pianist,
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because she alone
can play with four hands.
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These monkeys spend the night like this,
convinced they're asleep.
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We also have these monkeys who think
themselves to be the clinic's doctors,
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and that we are the monkeys.
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00:05:54,527 --> 00:05:57,774
This other monkey believes
himself to be William Tell.
50
00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:08,318
We try to treat our patients well,
even when it comes to food.
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00:06:16,889 --> 00:06:19,741
Some will get drunk,
but, as a punishment,
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we put them to fasting,
or to bread and coffee.
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You see this?
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It is a sleeping drug for our
neurasthenics suffering from insomnia.
55
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And this one is for hypochondriac birds.
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00:06:35,316 --> 00:06:39,963
- I see, another sleeping drug.
- No, a "singing drug."
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A drink we give to songbirds
who no longer want to sing.
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Wonderful!
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You hear that? Right now they are
under the influence of that drug.
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Delightful!
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So you can bring your horse
here with full confidence.
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00:07:20,188 --> 00:07:21,316
Sure, ma'am.
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00:07:21,436 --> 00:07:24,981
- Stupid as always!
- Goodbye, ma'am, thank you very much.
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- Goodbye.
- I'll escort you.
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00:07:26,942 --> 00:07:28,620
- Come on.
- Come on.
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00:07:30,202 --> 00:07:33,683
Good morning. Sorry to have
kept you. Have a seat.
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You will understand how anxious
we are about getting the inheritance.
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00:07:38,605 --> 00:07:41,744
I told you that everything is in order.
Look.
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00:07:41,814 --> 00:07:46,272
All you have to do is wait two days,
unless, of course, the Baron...
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00:07:47,557 --> 00:07:52,282
Oh! Good morning!
Sit down, please, Director.
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00:07:52,584 --> 00:07:53,979
It's not dangerous.
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00:07:54,049 --> 00:07:58,008
It believes itself to be the clinic
director. Better not to contradict.
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00:07:58,128 --> 00:08:01,355
- Good morning Director!
- Good morning!
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00:08:01,475 --> 00:08:03,241
Good morning, Director!
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00:08:04,336 --> 00:08:08,683
- So, you said? - I said, unless
the baron returns and marries the girl.
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00:08:08,753 --> 00:08:12,753
There's no danger. We know that
the Baron has a very jealous mistress,
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who keeps him abducted.
The inheritance will be ours.
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00:08:15,685 --> 00:08:18,894
I rejoice for ye gentlemen,
I regret for the other party.
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00:08:18,964 --> 00:08:21,014
As for me, I don't give a hoot.
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00:08:28,862 --> 00:08:31,183
- So, you understand now?
- No.
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00:08:31,352 --> 00:08:32,943
It is the third time that I explain.
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00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,213
You will pretend to be me,
Baron Tolomeo De' Tolomei.
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00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:38,992
But you don't have the mole!
84
00:08:39,332 --> 00:08:42,689
I do have a mole ...
but not in my face.
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Tolomeo!
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Tolomeo!
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Damn! It's her!
Luisa! Maria Luisa!
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00:08:50,510 --> 00:08:54,634
She woke up! Ah!
Quick! Quick!
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00:08:56,266 --> 00:08:59,430
Meanwhile, get dressed.
We'll fix the mole later.
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00:09:00,785 --> 00:09:02,400
Tolomeo, who are you talking to?
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00:09:03,932 --> 00:09:05,790
Quick, quick! By Jove!
92
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:27,292
- The mole is spot on.
- Tolomeo, Tolomeo!
93
00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:32,323
Open, open! Open right now!
You are with a woman!
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00:09:33,836 --> 00:09:36,595
Open now!
- Quick! Hide yourself in there!
95
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Stand still and do not move!
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00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,041
Who did you talk to?
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00:09:45,244 --> 00:09:48,793
Me? .. No one.
I recited verses, listen:
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"Stand still and do not move,
if not, you can't improve".
99
00:09:54,549 --> 00:09:57,505
Oh, really? You can't fool me.
We shall see!
100
00:10:08,772 --> 00:10:11,442
Oh! Give me that letter!
Immediately!
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You're getting married!
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00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,610
You're getting married!
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00:10:26,444 --> 00:10:29,860
Ah, but you won't do it,
or I swear I'll kill you!
104
00:10:30,119 --> 00:10:32,920
But I'm not going.
You know that I love you.
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00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,940
For the next two days
you won't leave the house!
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It is useless to try to escape.
You will depart with me, okay?
107
00:10:42,981 --> 00:10:46,575
Oh, no! Oh yes!
I'm not moving, I stay here!
108
00:10:53,726 --> 00:10:58,054
- No, I'm staying here.
- Meanwhile, you will be my prisoner.
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New Mithridates!
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I'll drag you in chains to adorn
the triumph of a barbarian queen.
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00:11:06,383 --> 00:11:08,895
But if I ask no better
than to stay with you!
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00:11:08,965 --> 00:11:12,774
You know, I love you. I adore you.
I love you so.
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00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:14,878
Lulu! Lulu?
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00:11:15,392 --> 00:11:17,552
Look at me.
I'm your "Bubi".
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00:11:19,788 --> 00:11:23,637
Really? You really mean it?
You swear?
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00:11:23,707 --> 00:11:25,737
- Yes, I swear.
- Yes!
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00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,968
I'll get dressed and we go out.
118
00:11:31,571 --> 00:11:32,921
Baron: take this!
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Be less stupid,
or I lose the inheritance.
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00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:41,115
- But I will gladly replace you!
- You haven't understood anything!
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It is you who has to stay at
"Villa Bella" for two days.
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I thought I had to stay with the lady.
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Oh, no!
I'll replace myself, with the lady!
124
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,940
Meanwhile, you leave. The day after
tomorrow I'll come for the wedding.
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00:11:55,013 --> 00:11:56,063
You accept?
126
00:11:57,866 --> 00:11:58,867
All right.
127
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:00,688
No!
128
00:12:01,142 --> 00:12:03,192
Here are 1,000 lire in advance.
129
00:12:03,443 --> 00:12:07,243
So, I'll go and replace you immediately
with your beloved cousin!
130
00:12:09,803 --> 00:12:10,821
Bye!
131
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:16,214
She loves to sing while playing the harp,
but is incapable to sing or play,
132
00:12:16,284 --> 00:12:20,161
so she'll pretend to sing
while I play a disc of a famous singer.
133
00:12:20,231 --> 00:12:21,610
Quick then, come on.
134
00:12:24,390 --> 00:12:27,092
- Oh, God! It's the wrong side.
- Turn it, fast!
135
00:12:27,596 --> 00:12:28,653
Hurry!
136
00:13:15,398 --> 00:13:19,441
Fabrizio, you know how long I've waited
for this telegram? A whole year.
137
00:13:20,004 --> 00:13:22,861
Exactly.
How did you guess?
138
00:13:23,433 --> 00:13:27,004
You know, Fabrizio,
you really have a "second sight".
139
00:13:27,523 --> 00:13:32,057
And you know who sent it? Baron Tolomeo,
my nephew, who will soon be here.
140
00:13:32,772 --> 00:13:36,014
How happy my niece will be!
She awaits the Baron with open arms.
141
00:13:36,413 --> 00:13:38,252
Ah, Ninetta, you're here.
142
00:13:38,686 --> 00:13:42,916
So, we agree?
You will marry me, won't you, dear?
143
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- Maybe.
- Maybe!
144
00:13:45,182 --> 00:13:49,092
What do you mean "maybe"?
Still thinking of that dreadful Tolomeo?
145
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A year after he disappeared?
146
00:13:51,088 --> 00:13:54,527
You know well he was around
to attend to his horse competitions.
147
00:13:54,597 --> 00:13:58,877
Oh, yes? Here are his horse competitions!
Look, look!
148
00:14:04,815 --> 00:14:06,048
Have you seen?
149
00:14:06,549 --> 00:14:08,956
You don't know him, you came recently.
150
00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:12,423
He's noble, majestic, handsome!
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00:14:12,616 --> 00:14:13,659
Ninetta!
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I have good news.
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I don't want to see him!
I do not want to ever see him again!
154
00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:31,573
Let him return to his women!
155
00:14:34,444 --> 00:14:38,458
You see, Fabrizio?
She is happy! Fully happy!
156
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:48,436
He's only coming for the inheritance!
How I hate him!
157
00:14:49,381 --> 00:14:52,071
Yes, it's the fire of love!
It's fire!
158
00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:55,395
Listen to me, dear.
Seek comfort in my arms.
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00:14:55,804 --> 00:14:57,259
Leave me alone!
160
00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:05,058
Oh, God! She's dying! She's dying!
Water, water!
161
00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:16,207
- Excuse me, Miss Ninetta?
- Water! Water!
162
00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:21,179
It's fire!
163
00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:25,458
- Water, water!
- Water, water!
164
00:15:26,374 --> 00:15:27,947
- Water!
- Water?
165
00:15:28,278 --> 00:15:29,858
- Fire! Fire!
- Fire?
166
00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:32,104
- Water! Water!
- Fire! Fire!
167
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:35,402
- Water, water!
- Fire, fire!
168
00:15:35,472 --> 00:15:37,472
- It's fire..
- Water! Water!
169
00:15:37,696 --> 00:15:40,002
- Fire! - Water!
- Water! Water!
170
00:15:40,489 --> 00:15:43,983
- Fire! Fire!
- Water! Water!
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00:15:46,008 --> 00:15:47,258
You're on fire!
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00:15:47,494 --> 00:15:49,491
Oh, you naughty girl!
173
00:15:52,047 --> 00:15:56,665
Oh, Tolomeo, dear!
She's so happy for your return.
174
00:15:57,586 --> 00:15:59,957
Yes, I'm happy.
175
00:16:00,609 --> 00:16:02,959
I waited for this moment since years.
176
00:16:03,778 --> 00:16:05,601
I'm glad you came,
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00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:08,788
so that I can shout just
one word in your face:
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00:16:09,347 --> 00:16:10,864
Scoundrel!
179
00:16:13,391 --> 00:16:18,761
Miss, you've called the Baron
Tolomeo De' Tolomei a scoundrel?
180
00:16:19,393 --> 00:16:22,502
Yes, exactly!
181
00:16:25,169 --> 00:16:26,469
All right, then!
182
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:37,326
And you did not notice any
symptoms before the madness?
183
00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:41,084
- Well, I'll tell you...
- Let me talk. You know nothing.
184
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:46,115
This horse, after the death
of his mare, has lost his mind.
185
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:50,938
It's dangerous to mount. He does follies!
Want to see how he jumps?
186
00:16:51,058 --> 00:16:52,308
No, no, thanks.
187
00:16:53,261 --> 00:16:55,983
Hereditary defects among his ancestors?
188
00:16:56,053 --> 00:16:58,606
- Well, I think ...
- Shut up, fool!
189
00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:02,285
He is the son of the famous Amphitryon.
190
00:17:02,405 --> 00:17:04,491
Are you sure it's his son?
191
00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:06,618
In this matter you never know...
192
00:17:06,688 --> 00:17:09,299
He always has to say something,
this moron!
193
00:17:09,839 --> 00:17:13,338
Excuse me,
could I leave here my wife too?
194
00:17:14,627 --> 00:17:16,353
Ah!
Slap him!
195
00:17:16,646 --> 00:17:18,223
- Slap him!
- Me, ma'am?
196
00:17:18,293 --> 00:17:20,883
Slap him!
This man is taking liberties!
197
00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:23,464
- Me? No, believe me!
- It was him.
198
00:17:23,534 --> 00:17:26,589
No, ma'am, it was Libertine, our crab.
199
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:30,701
But I cannot allow this!
I shall slap him!
200
00:17:34,796 --> 00:17:39,405
But this is weird! No one is safe here!
- Don't move... That's it!
201
00:17:39,606 --> 00:17:40,714
One moment.
202
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:47,041
We are ruined!
The damn Baron Tolomeo has come!
203
00:17:47,562 --> 00:17:50,835
Calm down.
Don't despair.
204
00:17:51,859 --> 00:17:56,765
We must proceed with caution.
Watch him and keep me informed.
205
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:05,994
Now that it's all settled,
let's drink to your happiness.
206
00:18:07,256 --> 00:18:10,398
I won't drink.
I'll never marry him!
207
00:18:10,692 --> 00:18:12,843
Well! Alright!
208
00:18:13,888 --> 00:18:16,359
This is the happiest day of my life.
209
00:18:17,854 --> 00:18:21,220
So the wedding is scheduled
for after tomorrow at noon.
210
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,762
Word got out that the Baron
has come for the wedding,
211
00:18:33,832 --> 00:18:36,674
and the whole town is here below,
to pay homage.
212
00:18:36,744 --> 00:18:38,432
- May I?
- Even June!
213
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,457
Ninetta?
214
00:18:40,881 --> 00:18:41,925
Ninetta!
215
00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:12,735
- They are awaiting you.
- Me?
216
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:31,731
A challenge to a duel! That we have the
honor to bring on the part of the Duke.
217
00:19:32,178 --> 00:19:35,338
Me? A challenge?
A duel? Me?
218
00:19:35,572 --> 00:19:38,292
Due to slap you gave him six months ago.
219
00:19:38,412 --> 00:19:41,800
- No, no, no, you can't go ...
- No, no, please, let them.
220
00:19:42,076 --> 00:19:46,761
How beautiful these girls are!
Watch! Watch!
221
00:19:48,238 --> 00:19:52,827
Look at this, and this too.
What do you bring here?
222
00:19:52,947 --> 00:19:56,126
- Pick one, pick one!
- Melons? What a beautiful melon!
223
00:19:56,246 --> 00:19:59,111
- Take, take.
- Thank you. See you soon.
224
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:02,890
Thank you. Thank you.
What beautiful melons!
225
00:20:06,511 --> 00:20:08,205
Please tell us, Baron,
226
00:20:08,325 --> 00:20:10,635
where we can meet with your seconds,
227
00:20:10,755 --> 00:20:13,734
in order to set the time,
place and weapons.
228
00:20:14,392 --> 00:20:18,771
Decide: saber, sword or gun.
229
00:20:19,147 --> 00:20:21,108
- I've decided.
- Which one?
230
00:20:22,118 --> 00:20:24,174
Him the saber, and me the gun.
231
00:20:24,443 --> 00:20:26,169
This is no time to joke!
232
00:20:26,887 --> 00:20:30,231
- Tell us where we can meet
with your seconds. - Baron!
233
00:20:30,568 --> 00:20:31,768
Wait a minute.
234
00:20:32,188 --> 00:20:34,646
Gentlemen, one moment.
Excuse me.
235
00:20:37,918 --> 00:20:40,046
Agreed, then.
After tomorrow.
236
00:21:03,256 --> 00:21:05,391
- Baron!
- Well, what do you want?
237
00:21:05,511 --> 00:21:07,084
It is about that IOU.
238
00:21:07,154 --> 00:21:09,454
- What IOU?
- 10,000 lire. - Right!
239
00:21:09,586 --> 00:21:12,389
I have no small change.
Come after tomorrow.
240
00:21:12,509 --> 00:21:15,433
- What time?
- At any time, but after tomorrow.
241
00:21:15,503 --> 00:21:18,985
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- See you soon. - Good evening.
242
00:21:33,861 --> 00:21:38,699
They've all gone to bed,
because tomorrow will be a hectic day.
243
00:21:38,819 --> 00:21:41,238
- What? - Hectic.
- Ah, hectic!
244
00:21:41,308 --> 00:21:44,951
- If I may, I'll escort you to your room,
Baron. - Please go ahead.
245
00:21:58,303 --> 00:22:00,602
- At what time the saddle?
- What?
246
00:22:00,722 --> 00:22:04,172
At what time do you want
the horse ready tomorrow morning?
247
00:22:04,527 --> 00:22:06,751
The Baron will make a nice gallop.
248
00:22:06,871 --> 00:22:08,588
Me? Perish the thought!
249
00:22:09,289 --> 00:22:12,981
- Why do you say that?
- Because the Baron is a great horseman.
250
00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:15,479
So, what time?
251
00:22:15,788 --> 00:22:17,244
For after tomorrow...
252
00:22:17,314 --> 00:22:20,821
I mean... for yesterday...
I mean, for the usual time!
253
00:22:28,711 --> 00:22:31,697
Damned Baron!
A horseman as well!
254
00:22:32,234 --> 00:22:34,253
What are you saying?
Are you crazy?
255
00:22:34,323 --> 00:22:36,970
Understood.
In the morning he will take a ride.
256
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,890
We'll send the crazy horse.
257
00:22:38,965 --> 00:22:41,313
The Trojan horse... I mean...
258
00:22:41,587 --> 00:22:43,944
- How do we make him mount it?
- Quiet.
259
00:22:44,014 --> 00:22:48,263
With an injection it will become
a lamb first, and then a lion. Yes.
260
00:22:48,626 --> 00:22:51,190
On horseback... On horseback!
261
00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:48,500
Baron, the horse is ready.
262
00:24:53,777 --> 00:24:58,494
Oh, my God! On horseback... On horseback!
Oh, Mom, what will I do?
263
00:24:58,823 --> 00:25:02,591
I do not know how to ride.
I do not know how to ride.
264
00:25:02,885 --> 00:25:04,885
How can I go horseback riding?
265
00:25:05,014 --> 00:25:08,462
I need an idea. A horse, a horse.
No, no, no!
266
00:25:12,806 --> 00:25:13,827
Yes!
267
00:25:50,170 --> 00:25:51,828
They come, they come!
268
00:26:10,577 --> 00:26:12,408
Try to lie down, Baron.
269
00:26:18,402 --> 00:26:20,663
Tolomeo. Tell the truth, dear:
270
00:26:20,952 --> 00:26:22,652
you're not feeling well.
271
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:26,651
Fabrizio!
272
00:26:26,941 --> 00:26:27,985
Fabrizio!
273
00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:30,750
Call three or four doctors immediately.
274
00:26:33,702 --> 00:26:34,945
How do we do?
275
00:26:35,524 --> 00:26:37,590
What are you feeling, Baron?
276
00:26:40,935 --> 00:26:45,186
- Baron Tolomeo is sick.
- He needs to be "cured", huh?
277
00:26:45,256 --> 00:26:47,869
I trust you go with some colleague and...
278
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:48,999
you know.
279
00:26:49,850 --> 00:26:51,462
I'll take care of it.
280
00:26:52,507 --> 00:26:55,110
It is an extraordinary case, you know!
281
00:26:58,836 --> 00:27:00,080
Incredible!
282
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:04,346
Let's try this.
283
00:27:05,204 --> 00:27:07,054
It's always the same thing!
284
00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:12,610
Shall we raise him?
Pull him up.
285
00:27:19,527 --> 00:27:22,011
It is really an atrophy from sports!
286
00:27:22,081 --> 00:27:24,665
Yet they say he's a great horseman!
287
00:27:24,785 --> 00:27:28,635
But you'll see, after the cure
the passion for horses will return!
288
00:27:28,705 --> 00:27:29,955
And tomorrow...
289
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:35,169
Let's put him on the bed and try
the system of "rational disarticulation."
290
00:28:52,901 --> 00:28:53,986
Enough!
291
00:28:54,487 --> 00:28:55,672
Enough!
292
00:28:56,447 --> 00:28:57,573
I am healed!
293
00:28:57,804 --> 00:29:00,078
Bring me the horse immediately.
294
00:29:00,632 --> 00:29:01,703
The towel!
295
00:29:17,540 --> 00:29:18,542
Tolomeo!
296
00:29:18,612 --> 00:29:20,378
How are you?
- Very good.
297
00:29:20,448 --> 00:29:21,540
Oh, good!
298
00:29:21,822 --> 00:29:25,122
One moment, one moment!
He is charged with electricity.
299
00:29:25,648 --> 00:29:28,035
Distinguished colleagues, watch.
300
00:29:53,810 --> 00:29:57,111
When it comes to riding,
Tolomeo is always the first.
301
00:29:58,473 --> 00:30:00,304
Mother! How do I do?
302
00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:02,230
Oh, the glue!
303
00:30:09,522 --> 00:30:12,766
Tolomeo, hurry!
We've been waiting for an hour!
304
00:30:32,837 --> 00:30:34,737
Good morning!
Good morning!
305
00:30:34,918 --> 00:30:36,160
How darling!
306
00:30:42,515 --> 00:30:43,619
Baron...
307
00:30:55,835 --> 00:30:57,527
The Baron's horse.
308
00:31:09,738 --> 00:31:10,924
Easy, easy.
309
00:32:04,272 --> 00:32:05,272
Look!
310
00:32:17,072 --> 00:32:20,077
Extraordinary!
Bravo! Bravo!
311
00:32:37,608 --> 00:32:38,625
Hey, you!
312
00:32:38,695 --> 00:32:39,700
Take this.
313
00:32:43,376 --> 00:32:44,426
Incredible!
314
00:33:02,659 --> 00:33:03,659
Jump!
315
00:33:11,576 --> 00:33:15,024
- What's he doing?
- What a rage! Go to the roof you too!
316
00:33:15,094 --> 00:33:17,442
Me on the roof? You're crazy, dear.
317
00:33:17,512 --> 00:33:20,934
Go! I can't stand the triumph
of that obnoxious Tolomeo!
318
00:33:21,004 --> 00:33:25,072
I don't want to go and I won't go,
on the roof. Look at that!
319
00:33:32,222 --> 00:33:33,263
Bravo!
320
00:33:33,783 --> 00:33:35,750
But enough now, come down!
321
00:33:37,896 --> 00:33:39,373
Damn!
322
00:33:40,607 --> 00:33:42,380
- Very good!
- Bravo!
323
00:34:07,978 --> 00:34:11,778
Mind you. If you aren't able to do
at least this, I won't marry you!
324
00:34:12,138 --> 00:34:14,954
All right! I'll try.
Come on!
325
00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:25,719
Run, run! The horse has become skittish!
It ran away!
326
00:34:26,180 --> 00:34:27,330
But, Ninetta!
327
00:34:31,273 --> 00:34:32,788
Oh, poor lady!
328
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,953
She's been bumped off, instead of him! ???
329
00:34:53,003 --> 00:34:54,876
The inheritance is ours!
330
00:34:58,461 --> 00:34:59,788
Let me through.
331
00:35:18,421 --> 00:35:20,888
Help!
332
00:35:21,659 --> 00:35:23,798
Help!
333
00:35:31,739 --> 00:35:34,139
- She's there! Save her!
- Calm down.
334
00:35:35,674 --> 00:35:37,480
Help!
335
00:36:43,307 --> 00:36:44,502
What now?
336
00:37:05,151 --> 00:37:06,754
Thank you, my savior!
337
00:37:07,126 --> 00:37:09,408
Oh, but you bleed! Are you hurt?
338
00:37:09,655 --> 00:37:12,197
Nothing... Trifles!
339
00:37:22,213 --> 00:37:24,629
Well? You don't hate me anymore?
340
00:37:25,779 --> 00:37:30,535
But I... I never hated you.
Only, I believed you didn't love me.
341
00:37:31,302 --> 00:37:36,295
But now, after what you've done,
I feel that I really love you.
342
00:37:38,494 --> 00:37:44,048
Ninetta, but then you haven't forgotten
the Baron Tolomeo De' Tolomei?
343
00:37:44,271 --> 00:37:45,283
No.
344
00:37:48,358 --> 00:37:49,467
All right.
345
00:37:50,636 --> 00:37:55,795
I don't understand. I even gave up my wedding to follow you ???
346
00:37:58,313 --> 00:38:01,457
Where are you going?
You won't leave this house without me!
347
00:38:01,577 --> 00:38:04,527
- New Mithridates! I'll drag you in...
- Stop!
348
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:08,440
I like you thus, my barbarian queen!
Don't move.
349
00:38:11,515 --> 00:38:15,103
I've waited years for this pose
to get a good photograph.
350
00:38:15,389 --> 00:38:20,843
Come here. Like this.
Here, like this. Good.
351
00:38:21,524 --> 00:38:24,068
Grind your teeth the way
that you alone know.
352
00:38:24,138 --> 00:38:28,291
Bare your claws, o my tiger,
my panther, my puma!
353
00:38:28,944 --> 00:38:29,956
What?
354
00:38:30,952 --> 00:38:31,952
Puma!
355
00:38:32,022 --> 00:38:33,024
Oh!
356
00:38:41,959 --> 00:38:43,161
Are you done?
357
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:45,919
But, can I move?
358
00:38:49,046 --> 00:38:50,222
Hurry!
359
00:38:57,383 --> 00:38:58,434
Swine!
360
00:39:07,475 --> 00:39:09,759
Tolomeo!
Tolomeo, come here!
361
00:39:17,198 --> 00:39:19,290
Where did he go?
Tolomeo!
362
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:32,489
Get out of the way!
363
00:39:33,367 --> 00:39:34,473
Tolomeo!
364
00:39:36,870 --> 00:39:37,805
Damn!
365
00:39:59,931 --> 00:40:01,317
So, you understand?
366
00:40:01,437 --> 00:40:03,563
- But how can I hide in the wardrobe?
- Oh, the patience!
367
00:40:03,633 --> 00:40:07,124
- If someone finds out?
- I'll take care of it. - All right then.
368
00:40:07,194 --> 00:40:08,753
Whew!
Wait!
369
00:40:10,299 --> 00:40:11,704
- Here.
- Thanks!
370
00:40:12,373 --> 00:40:14,241
This time we've got it!
371
00:40:15,002 --> 00:40:18,416
- So we must abduct the baron
for 24 hours. - Very well.
372
00:40:18,486 --> 00:40:20,678
This way the term for
the wedding will expire.
373
00:40:20,748 --> 00:40:24,293
Then they can marry if they want.
But the inheritance, no.
374
00:40:24,483 --> 00:40:28,233
Here, take this sleeping drug,
and give it to the Baron tonight.
375
00:40:28,532 --> 00:40:31,335
So that the hitman can act freely.
376
00:40:31,826 --> 00:40:33,526
And so we'll get marr...
377
00:40:37,241 --> 00:40:41,235
You know I don't allow you liberties
before the success of our venture.
378
00:40:41,305 --> 00:40:44,041
- But a small advance!
- I don't give advances.
379
00:40:44,111 --> 00:40:47,360
- At most, I could give you an IOU.
- What?
380
00:40:47,623 --> 00:40:50,280
A promissory note.
At three months date.
381
00:40:50,463 --> 00:40:53,713
I wouldn't want to have to
endorse this IOU to others.
382
00:40:54,181 --> 00:40:58,017
Come on, if you'll know how to do,
tomorrow we'll own the legacy.
383
00:40:58,302 --> 00:40:59,454
And then...
384
00:41:02,553 --> 00:41:05,694
Oh, it's our little leaper turtle!
385
00:41:07,066 --> 00:41:08,466
Pretty, isn't she?
386
00:41:11,337 --> 00:41:14,239
So, what remains for me
is to abduct the Baron!
387
00:41:14,732 --> 00:41:16,207
"SLEEPING DRUG"
388
00:41:17,971 --> 00:41:20,813
Here's the hitman who will kidnap
the Baron during his sleep.
389
00:41:20,883 --> 00:41:23,060
- Did you take the sleeping drug?
- Yes.
390
00:41:23,130 --> 00:41:25,122
Hitman! Hitman! Come here.
391
00:41:25,242 --> 00:41:28,046
Come, I said! Don't always be afraid!
392
00:41:28,166 --> 00:41:31,103
You've been doing this job for years!
Come on.
393
00:41:31,224 --> 00:41:33,941
So, now, go, and take action.
394
00:41:34,172 --> 00:41:36,306
- Go ahead.
- Come on, move.
395
00:41:41,417 --> 00:41:42,617
Just a moment.
396
00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:46,261
Just a moment...
397
00:41:47,263 --> 00:41:48,366
Stay there!
398
00:42:03,839 --> 00:42:05,195
Do you understand?
399
00:42:05,265 --> 00:42:08,718
Wait here.
I'll go to administer the sedative.
400
00:42:11,848 --> 00:42:15,051
I've insulted you,
and you remained indifferent.
401
00:42:15,598 --> 00:42:19,586
I told you that I love you,
and you stayed indifferent all the same.
402
00:42:20,241 --> 00:42:23,591
- You don't you believe in my love!
- Oh no! I do, I do.
403
00:42:24,717 --> 00:42:28,192
You say it with such little enthusiasm.
Want me to swear it?
404
00:42:28,262 --> 00:42:29,360
No, please!
405
00:42:29,991 --> 00:42:32,339
Confess! You think of another woman!
406
00:42:33,216 --> 00:42:34,821
Look, right now...
407
00:42:35,725 --> 00:42:37,132
Right now..
408
00:42:37,411 --> 00:42:40,636
- I was thinking just of a man.
- A man?
409
00:42:41,079 --> 00:42:43,579
Yes, of a guy who... tomorrow morning...
410
00:42:44,337 --> 00:42:46,699
will come for the wedding.
Ouch!
411
00:42:47,775 --> 00:42:50,595
Since when you're back
you seem someone else.
412
00:42:50,665 --> 00:42:52,658
No, I swear. I'm still the same.
413
00:42:52,728 --> 00:42:54,534
No, you're more likeable!
414
00:42:54,804 --> 00:42:57,304
Well, now I really feel that I love you.
415
00:42:59,227 --> 00:43:01,277
What I don't like is your mole.
416
00:43:01,347 --> 00:43:04,047
As to that, just a sign
and I'll remove it.
417
00:43:04,447 --> 00:43:08,029
No! Are you crazy? You know
you can die by tearing off a mole?
418
00:43:08,151 --> 00:43:11,070
For your love, I'll face even death!
419
00:43:19,166 --> 00:43:21,868
- What were you thinking right now?
- I can't tell you.
420
00:43:22,126 --> 00:43:23,128
Tell me!
421
00:43:23,289 --> 00:43:25,726
Don't insist, Ninetta, I can't tell you.
422
00:43:25,796 --> 00:43:27,570
I want to know what you thought!
423
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,367
Heavens!
I thought of you.
424
00:43:29,437 --> 00:43:32,264
Me? Really?
What were you thinking of me?
425
00:43:32,334 --> 00:43:36,555
I thought: Now she'll ask what I think
and I don't know what to say. There!
426
00:43:43,537 --> 00:43:45,733
I was right, Baron Tolomeo returned.
427
00:43:45,803 --> 00:43:48,953
Good. Tomorrow morning
I'll be here for the ceremony.
428
00:43:49,073 --> 00:43:53,192
Remember, madam, that
the fatal term expires at noon sharp.
429
00:43:53,312 --> 00:43:57,456
By that time the ceremony will be over,
and the legacy will be ours.
430
00:43:57,576 --> 00:44:03,038
I rejoice for you, I regret for the other
party. As for me, I don't give a hoot.
431
00:44:04,770 --> 00:44:08,487
- And the notarial instrument is ready?
- The notarial instrument?
432
00:44:08,853 --> 00:44:11,639
The... nota... rial... instru...ment...
433
00:44:12,034 --> 00:44:15,285
# The notarial instrument
will be ready for tomorrow.
434
00:44:15,355 --> 00:44:18,116
# The notarial instrument
will be ready for tomorrow.
435
00:44:18,186 --> 00:44:20,858
# What - is - this - that's - in my chest?
436
00:44:20,928 --> 00:44:23,699
# What is this that's in my chest?
437
00:44:23,819 --> 00:44:29,097
# It forces me to always croon,
un-inten-tion-ally!
438
00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:30,867
# It forces me to croon!
439
00:44:30,972 --> 00:44:33,570
# It's not suited to a law man!
440
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,208
# In the closet there's a hitman!
441
00:44:36,328 --> 00:44:39,116
# Many people have the mortgage...
442
00:44:39,325 --> 00:44:42,018
# The mortgage, the mortgage...
443
00:44:42,088 --> 00:44:44,954
#- Oh, what egregious mistake!
- Oh, how I want to sing!
444
00:44:45,024 --> 00:44:48,024
#- They no longer marry!
- Oh, the strange frenzy!
445
00:45:01,753 --> 00:45:05,809
# Oh, I'm in a dream of love!
446
00:45:06,056 --> 00:45:09,774
# My heart is burning!
447
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,960
# It makes me suffer...
448
00:45:24,413 --> 00:45:28,510
# I'm preserving for you...
449
00:45:28,670 --> 00:45:32,686
# a kiss of love...
450
00:45:32,956 --> 00:45:36,950
# I cannot forget you.
451
00:45:42,130 --> 00:45:45,241
Tomorrow morning I'll leave...
452
00:45:46,118 --> 00:45:47,348
Forever.
453
00:45:48,482 --> 00:45:49,499
Yes ..
454
00:45:49,785 --> 00:45:51,485
I'll dress as a groom...
455
00:45:51,651 --> 00:45:53,827
like that... as a make believe.
456
00:45:55,725 --> 00:45:57,162
For pretense...
457
00:46:03,090 --> 00:46:05,171
No, don't cry, my love!
458
00:46:06,064 --> 00:46:09,192
I'll stay near you in my heart...
459
00:46:11,245 --> 00:46:12,495
You understand?
460
00:46:12,802 --> 00:46:14,755
No?
You see?
461
00:46:15,458 --> 00:46:17,608
Now it's you who doesn't respond.
462
00:46:47,882 --> 00:46:50,132
- Good night, Baron.
- Good night.
463
00:47:39,221 --> 00:47:41,783
Oh, if I were the baron!
464
00:47:53,019 --> 00:47:54,127
Well, bye!
465
00:50:15,108 --> 00:50:16,337
Victory!
466
00:50:16,751 --> 00:50:19,215
Done?
Abducted?
467
00:50:19,335 --> 00:50:22,353
No, it is no longer necessary.
He's in my hands!
468
00:50:22,991 --> 00:50:25,870
Trust me,
this marriage will not take place.
469
00:51:17,169 --> 00:51:19,377
You can't enter.
She's getting dressed.
470
00:51:19,447 --> 00:51:22,934
I'd like to see her before going...
before getting married.
471
00:51:23,004 --> 00:51:25,936
You'll have plenty
of time for that later!
472
00:52:17,424 --> 00:52:18,430
Hey!
473
00:52:18,815 --> 00:52:22,866
Five minutes and I'll be with you.
Five minutes! See you.
474
00:52:24,463 --> 00:52:26,511
- Do we wait?
- We wait!
475
00:52:45,495 --> 00:52:47,865
- Everything went well?
- More than well!
476
00:52:47,935 --> 00:52:51,138
Instead I had a hard time
getting rid of that woman!
477
00:52:53,284 --> 00:52:54,750
For you. Take it.
478
00:52:55,162 --> 00:52:57,962
Thank you, Baron.
Ready for anything you ask.
479
00:52:59,051 --> 00:53:00,060
Thank you.
480
00:53:01,892 --> 00:53:06,329
Wretch! What have you done?
My stovepipe with eight reflections!
481
00:53:21,491 --> 00:53:23,098
- You wish?
- How, "you wish"?
482
00:53:23,168 --> 00:53:25,597
Reparation with arms!
For the grave offense that...
483
00:53:25,667 --> 00:53:28,992
Just today that I'm to marry? Go to hell!
It's crazy!
484
00:53:30,264 --> 00:53:31,765
Should we slap him?
485
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,633
- Let's consult the chivalric code!
- Come on!
486
00:53:40,568 --> 00:53:43,334
His reflection with eight stovepipes...
487
00:53:43,700 --> 00:53:44,982
Oh, come on!
488
00:54:02,339 --> 00:54:04,718
- Oh, here is! Good morning!
- Good morning!
489
00:54:04,788 --> 00:54:07,301
I want some flowers for
Miss Ninetta at Villa Bella.
490
00:54:07,371 --> 00:54:08,434
How many?
491
00:54:10,203 --> 00:54:13,151
- For ten thousand lire.
- Oh, Finally!
492
00:54:15,573 --> 00:54:18,436
This is for you.
Good day.
493
00:54:26,917 --> 00:54:30,167
What are you doing here, Baron?
Come with me to Villa Bella!
494
00:54:30,237 --> 00:54:31,737
Well, I wanted to...
495
00:54:39,691 --> 00:54:42,647
Come on, come on.
All is ready for the wedding.
496
00:55:21,065 --> 00:55:25,113
- I see! The mole is fake!
- What are you doing? Are you crazy?
497
00:55:26,609 --> 00:55:31,949
- Lout! Rascal! - Excuse me, Baron !
- Moron! Cretin! - I don't understand...
498
00:55:37,658 --> 00:55:39,087
- Good morning!
- Good morning!
499
00:55:39,157 --> 00:55:40,519
- Hello!
- Hello!
500
00:55:40,589 --> 00:55:42,891
- Hello ! - Congratulations!
- Thank you.
501
00:55:43,355 --> 00:55:44,493
Goodbye!
502
00:55:46,526 --> 00:55:49,283
- Mamma mia!
- Stay calm.
503
00:55:49,902 --> 00:55:52,002
I did not come to make scandals.
504
00:55:52,967 --> 00:55:55,867
But at the precise moment
when you get married,
505
00:55:56,016 --> 00:55:57,699
I will let drop this bomb.
506
00:55:57,769 --> 00:56:00,219
- A bomb! You are crazy!
- This way...
507
00:56:00,482 --> 00:56:03,124
- we will all blow up!
- Hush, wretch!
508
00:56:03,548 --> 00:56:04,560
Wait.
509
00:56:05,501 --> 00:56:07,726
- Congratulations!
- Thank you.
510
00:56:08,937 --> 00:56:11,919
- Come away, I'll explain everything.
- There's nothing to explain.
511
00:56:11,989 --> 00:56:13,339
I'm staying here.
512
00:56:13,746 --> 00:56:18,007
- Do as you think best. - What will you
do with that bomb? Don't play with bombs!
513
00:56:25,025 --> 00:56:27,235
Yet, this morning he had no mole!
514
00:56:41,495 --> 00:56:46,065
- Who's there? - You don't have it!
You don't have it! - I have it, I have it!
515
00:57:05,004 --> 00:57:07,467
- A gift for the Baron.
- How pretty!
516
00:57:07,587 --> 00:57:10,029
For me? Thanks, honey.
517
00:57:13,963 --> 00:57:15,105
Allow me...
518
00:57:47,869 --> 00:57:50,452
How dare you?
Scoundrel!
519
00:57:54,749 --> 00:57:55,851
Lout!
520
00:57:57,082 --> 00:58:00,831
How could I be wrong? Yet,
this morning he didn't have the mole.
521
00:58:00,901 --> 00:58:01,901
Well, I...
522
00:58:32,191 --> 00:58:34,812
Baron, are you mocking us?
Take that!
523
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,329
And these are our seconds!
524
00:58:59,438 --> 00:59:03,900
It's no use trying to hide.
Remember that I have it here.
525
00:59:04,104 --> 00:59:05,556
- What?
- The bomb.
526
00:59:05,626 --> 00:59:06,615
The bomb?
527
00:59:06,685 --> 00:59:08,133
It's a time bomb.
528
00:59:08,910 --> 00:59:10,782
It will blow up at noon sharp.
529
00:59:10,852 --> 00:59:13,283
- Mamma mia!
- In just a few minutes.
530
00:59:13,576 --> 00:59:17,115
Good heavens!
Can't we set it at 1 and 65?
531
00:59:17,185 --> 00:59:19,158
No hassles!
If you marry, I...
532
00:59:19,278 --> 00:59:22,825
But I'm not here to get married.
I'm here to... You understand?
533
00:59:22,895 --> 00:59:24,995
- So you insist, huh?
- No! No!
534
00:59:38,562 --> 00:59:42,648
- Who is that weird guy?
It wouldn't be the groom? - No, no.
535
00:59:44,409 --> 00:59:46,818
And Tolomeo?
Where is Tolomeo?
536
00:59:55,564 --> 00:59:57,966
You, look for the baron, immediately.
537
00:59:58,343 --> 01:00:00,163
Just missing this mishap!
538
01:00:00,233 --> 01:00:03,111
- Are you a relative?
- No! I'm ravenously hungry!
539
01:00:03,181 --> 01:00:06,695
And if the groom doesn't come,
the refreshments won't be served.
540
01:00:12,237 --> 01:00:16,720
- He can't be found? Good!
- He can't be found? We made it!
541
01:00:35,379 --> 01:00:37,552
- Baron! Baron!
- The bomb!
542
01:00:37,835 --> 01:00:41,430
- What? - The bride is waiting.
Is this the time to play ball?
543
01:00:41,500 --> 01:00:43,529
Here!
Excuse me.
544
01:01:03,510 --> 01:01:06,323
Come on, come on, Baron !
Enter!
545
01:01:09,359 --> 01:01:11,759
- Oh, here he is!
- Come on!
546
01:01:13,479 --> 01:01:16,939
- But! There's two of them!
- Two of them!
547
01:01:18,643 --> 01:01:19,859
They are two!
548
01:01:28,927 --> 01:01:30,227
I must be dizzy.
549
01:01:31,318 --> 01:01:32,468
I have double vision.
550
01:01:43,385 --> 01:01:46,350
Aha! Here he is, the impostor!
551
01:01:46,726 --> 01:01:49,526
He doesn't have it.
He doesn't have the mole!
552
01:01:54,025 --> 01:01:55,095
Gentlemen!
553
01:01:55,413 --> 01:01:57,746
This man is my fianc�!
554
01:01:58,681 --> 01:02:01,120
In order to marry his cousin
and get the inheritance,
555
01:02:01,190 --> 01:02:03,940
he made himself be
replaced by a look-alike!
556
01:02:04,564 --> 01:02:06,364
Now we'll settle accounts!
557
01:02:06,446 --> 01:02:07,895
Oh God, the bomb!
558
01:02:57,090 --> 01:02:58,340
It won't start!
559
01:03:00,780 --> 01:03:02,230
Why won't it start?
560
01:03:05,530 --> 01:03:07,147
Wait, I'll try myself.
561
01:03:20,133 --> 01:03:21,707
Miss Ninetta...
562
01:03:26,963 --> 01:03:29,710
Yes. It's me the impostor.
563
01:03:30,818 --> 01:03:34,394
And now...
now that you know everything...
564
01:03:35,817 --> 01:03:37,161
do you hate me?
565
01:03:47,359 --> 01:03:50,012
Look what happened
right on the wedding day!
566
01:03:50,082 --> 01:03:52,082
The fatal term is now expired.
567
01:03:52,210 --> 01:03:55,410
So, unfortunately,
all the legacy goes to the clinic?
568
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:59,455
Undoubtly, since the natural son
of the testatort was never found.
569
01:03:59,525 --> 01:04:02,227
As is known,
he was abducted from his cradle.
570
01:04:02,297 --> 01:04:05,613
One moment! You said :
"Was abducted from his cradle"?
571
01:04:05,733 --> 01:04:09,769
I was kidnapped from the cradle!
I'm a foundling. Dad was a foundling.
572
01:04:09,839 --> 01:04:11,670
All my ancestors were foundlings.
573
01:04:11,740 --> 01:04:14,179
Do you have the other half of this medal?
574
01:04:14,469 --> 01:04:15,625
Certainly!
575
01:04:38,346 --> 01:04:40,807
Now you won't escape me anymore.
576
01:04:41,748 --> 01:04:44,448
Come with me,
I'll drag you as my prisoner.
577
01:04:46,788 --> 01:04:49,188
But then, you must also have a mole...
578
01:04:53,716 --> 01:04:55,957
Oh, blessed be the mole!
579
01:04:56,027 --> 01:05:01,426
I rejoice for you, I regret for the other
party, as for me, I don't give a hoot!
580
01:05:28,993 --> 01:05:30,950
A bomb! A bomb!
581
01:06:01,349 --> 01:06:02,371
That's it.
582
01:06:18,676 --> 01:06:21,130
END
583
01:06:21,250 --> 01:06:24,590
Eng subs by edam17 & knappen @KG
September 2013
44360
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