Original subtitles

[ ♪ ]

Rayyan: Customs,

- Here we come. - Oh, God.

What? Did you forget something?

No, I think I have that leg thing. You know,

The thing that you get, The deep vein thing,

And boom, next thing you know, you're dead?

Oh, a gunshot wound.

No, no, you know, the thing you get on planes.

Airsick?

No, I'm serious. The thing you get, like a clot,

- from sitting too long. - Oh, yes, sitting for hours on end.

- Yes. - Dwelling on the pain.

- Yes. - It's called hypochondria.

No, Rayyan, I'm serious.

Honey, you don't have deep vein thrombosis.

That's it. Deep vein thing throbbing. How do you know I don't have it?

Um, because one, you're not a hundred.

And two: you stretched like 50 times.

Oh, did I do that too long? I could have pulled something.

[ Child laughing ]

Six months traveling through Africa and the Middle East

with visas from Morocco and Lebanon. The purpose of your trip?

- Visiting family. - Excellent honeymoon.

Uh, both, really.

You see, we were on our honeymoon, but then her dad decided...

Look, look, here's the deal: my mom and dad split up

because my dad decided to stay in Lebanon because he's Lebanese.

- But he's not a suicide bomber. - I see.

Why would you say that?

What? Not all Muslims are terrorists, you know.

What my wife is trying to say is that we did change

our tickets because we had to cut short our year-long honeymoon

because of her parents' divorce.

She just felt she needed to be closer to her mother.

I can speak for myself. And, before you ask,

My husband doesn't make me wear this hijab. I choose to wear it.

OK. Well,

Congratulations on your marriage, and welcome home.

That's it? You don't have any more questions for us?

Actually, I do have another question.

Are you sure you're just back from your honeymoon?

Sounds to me like you've been married for a while.

Oh.

Thanks.

[ ♪ ]

Little Mosque on the Prairie SO6EO1 Home Again

Sync and corrected by Kiasuseven www. addic7ed. com

[ Singing in foreign language ]

Amaar: Finally we get to relax

- in your... our... home. - I can't.

- I gotta go see my mom. - This toast is toast.

Ah.

You know, your mom begged us not to cut the trip short.

She said she's OK.

Of course that's what she'd say.

Maybe you should see her before you decide she's a mess.

No, I know my mom. I know what she needs.

If you weren't so beautiful and I didn't love you so much,

- I'd call that disgusting. - Two percent milk?

- You know I like skim. - I'm sorry, they had a limited

selection at the airport.

Two percent tastes like you're drinking liquid fat.

And of course we wouldn't want to clutter our fridge

- with two milk cartons. - Oh, honey,

if you put the coffee mugs like this,

you can fit way more in.

You know, I have loaded a dishwasher before.

- But not correctly. - I think this is what they call

"irreconcilable differences".

[ ♪ ]

You're back!

Ah, shoes. Shoes.

You're back! You're...

You're at prayer. Right. I respect that. Would never interrupt.

Almost done?

No, guess not. We, uh, we all missed you.

[ Amaar praying ] What? Oh, right. Talking to heaven.

Really admire your dedication and focus and...

flexibility. Sorry. I'll... I'll be quiet. Quiet.

Oh, you should come by for some tea when you're done.

Why am I talking? I'm incorrigible!

Still... I'm still talking! Still talking!

[ ♪ ]

[ Knocking at door ] Hi, Ann.

Look at you!

Oh, I want to hear all about your honeymoon.

Every sordid detail; in fact, only the sordid details.

Well, actually, I just came here looking for my mom.

I went by your house, but she's not there.

- She's staying with you, right? - Of course.

Every morning she makes me waffles and strawberries.

Of course, she doesn't actually make the strawberries;

She picks them from a tree in the garden.

- She's not staying with you, is she? - How'd you know? Waffles?

- The strawberry tree. - Interesting.

That means she's staying at the house by herself with all those memories.

If I said "strawberry vine", would that have worked?

I really want to help her.

So how did you get through your divorces?

Alcohol.

That won't work.

More husbands? Nah, it's too soon for that.

Oh, there's a divorce support group I sometimes go to.

- They're meeting today. - Perfect! What a coincidence.

Not really. We meet every day.

- That's weird. - Why is it weird?

We're divorced everyday.

[ ♪ ]

I will tell you why he's back:

to march right in and be Imam again.

You don't know that. Here, have a digestive.

- It'll calm your stomach. - Ooh, yummy-yum-yum.

Salaam alaikum.

- Hey, hey! - Walaikum assalaam.

There he is. Ah-ha-ha.

- How was the trip? - Oh...

- Amazing. Yeah. - Good. Yeah.

- OK. - Why did you cut it short?

To come back and challenge me?

- Nice to see you too, Baber. - He thinks you want your old job back.

Baber, you've been Imam. I've been Imam. We don't need to go through that again.

- Say what you mean. - I mean you should stay Imam.

Meaning?

- Meaning: you should stay Imam. - I'm glad to hear that,

because him and I, we have a little running/backgammon tournament going on.

Mostly backgammon. Very little running.

So you two are getting along?

No, no, no, we just agree to disagree.

I must say, it's working out surprisingly well.

I understand that he will be thrown into hellfire forever.

And you, my friend, will burn in the fires of hell.

Wow, this is wrong on so many levels,

so I'm gonna leave you now. Catch you later, guys.

So, what do you think of this "I'm fine not being Imam" nonsense?

Uh...

Yeah, I think you need to watch him like a hawk.

- Yeah. I'll get my binoculars. - Go get your binoculars.

[ ♪ ]

Rayyan: I thought you said you were staying at Ann's.

I tried, but you have no idea what it was like.

The dancing, the drinking, the screaming.

It was even worse when she had people over.

But here, with all the memories?

I love your dad, but he could drive a person crazy.

You said "love", not "loved". You're not over it.

You're still wearing your wedding ring.

I'm fine. At night

I get to watch all the late- night TV your father hated.

Hey, if you want to know anything about home gyms,

ultra-light vacuums, Hijammies...

- What are Hijammies? - Part hijab, part jammy, all comfy.

You know, Mom, if you're not sleeping, insomnia is a sign of depression.

Rayyan, do I look depressed?

Ann told me about this divorce support group.

Listening to those sad stories would probably just make me

- even lonelier. - Just come and stay with us.

Grown-ups do not live with their mothers...

Except for your father, of course.

- Just till you get back on your feet. - I'm on my feet,

And my feet are staying right here.

If you don't come and move in with me, I'm moving in with you.

That is no way to start a marriage.

OK, great, so you'll come move in with us,

and we'll go check out the divorce support group together.

[ ♪ ]

No one will have any idea

- as to what I am up to. - Oh, yeah, you blend right in.

I have been waiting half an hour to talk to my Imam.

It's due to the extreme business of my schedule.

Very busy, very busy.

- Why do you have binoculars? - Omar, you cannot presume

to understand the complexity of an Imam and his many insecurities... duties!

Omar, you know, my office is always open,

if you want to... bat for the other team.

I mean... the other religion.

He could be a while. Get a sandwich or something.

[ ♪ ]

This is so awkward. We know everyone here.

Rayyan, Rayyan. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- You're not divorced, are you? - No, of course not.

Oh, phew! 'Cause that would be devastating

and I would not try to take advantage of that at all.

I'm here to support my mom.

All right, everyone, gather around, gather around.

Make yourselves at home... though you can't stay here.

[ A few people laugh ]

Hey, guys. Karl here.

Long-time divorcee, first-time divorce-counsellor.

Let us all open our hearts to the new

and the now. That means say hi.

All: Hi, Karl.

- Welcome to our SAADD meeting. - It's not sad yet.

S- A-A-D-D. Surviving After A Devastating Divorce.

Still, that sounds depressing.

No, it's SAADD with two A's and two D's. It's not even a real word.

Let's get started. Sarah,

I find it super interesting that you mention being depressed.

No, that's not what I said.

But it's what I heard, so you need to respect that.

Is it possible you're in a state of denial?

Sarah, Rayyan, this is a safe place.

A haven, if you will. A harbour in the sea of life.

- A nest... - We get it! "'Nkay?"

Well, excuse me for living!

I like to emphasize for clarity. Nothing you say leaves this room.

Oh, he's not kidding. Nate's story

about dressing up like a superhero

for three years after his parents' divorce...

[ People laughing ] He was 22!

[ Laughing ] But we only make fun of him in here.

Right. Sarah, what would you like to share with us

about your marriage or your ex-husband?

There really isn't anything I want to share.

Sometimes it's helpful to vent.

For example, when my wife left me, I shredded her clothes with a knife.

What I should have done was talk to her.

Come on, Sarah, spill. What annoyed you the most about old Yas, huh?

For example, my wife didn't like who I stacked the dishwasher.

So when she left, I got my own dishwasher.

Her name was Veronica, and, boy, was she stacked! Ha! Ha! Bring it in.

It's the little things, really... the gambling debts,

the other men, the other women,

the older men, the younger women.

You'd think these things don't matter.

But they add up.

There must be one thing that bothered you about your ex.

I've got a whack of things about the guy that bugged me.

Me too! Me too!

Not now, not now. It's Sarah's turn.

Um... well, I don't know.

The, um, the way he drank milk out of a carton.

That was cute, though, wasn't it?

Well, at first, but then it just got gross.

That's it, Sarah. Dig deep. Garden out your grief.

You're a garden hoe.

Amaar: So after

we got to see the markets, we finally got to go

to the beaches of Morocco.

So, what are your plans now that you have returned?

Uh... wait and see what happens.

Tell us more about your pilgrimage.

It was not a pilgrimage; it was a honeymoon.

Yes, but we did get to see the city of Zerhoun.

The Holy City of Zerhoun?

That's very fitting for... an Imam.

Amaar is not the Imam.

Well, you know, he is in here.

[ ♪ ]

- Ziggy... - Amaar's plan is working!

I overhead him at Fatima's. He was talking about

- a holy city! - Holy city!

I've got to tip my hat to Amaar. That is downright Machiavellian.

- What else did he do? - Let's see.

He went to the grocery store, spent 17 minutes at the flower shop,

said hello to Nate, and then...

- He went home. - What does that tell you?

That he is of no good.

Sure, or that maybe he bought flowers and wants to make dinner for his wife?

- That's whathe would want you to think. - You're right. It's too simple.

His sneaky sneaking will not work. Mercy Mosque is my mosque!

I lead the prayers and I give the sermon.

The sermon! I completely forgot to prepare!

No, no, no, don't worry. Just do what I do:

Recycle an old one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you just have to update the pop-culture references.

You know, Shawn Cassidy becomes Justin Bieber, and so forth.

You are an evil genius, my friend!

Go on. You're making me blush.

[ ♪ ]

[ Door opening ]

[ Rayyan sighs ]

- Salaam alaikum. - Walaikum assalaam.

There's my beautiful bride.

How was the divorce group?

Ooh, there's something I never thought I'd say.

- It was good. Oh.

Uh... What did I do wrong?

Nothing.

- It's perfect. - Really?

Wow, you should go to this group more often.

No, I'm just kidding. How's your mom?

A mess. It was pretty clear from the group that she shouldn't be alone

right now, which is why she's coming to stay with us!

Actually, she's gonna be here any minute, which will be great.

It'll be kind of fun, like when she was chaperoning us.

Ha! And to think we could be in Marrakech right now.

[ Insects chirping ]

- Ah... - Well,

I have run out of things to talk about,

so I'm gonna get ready for bed. Rayyan?

Yeah. Uh, let me just get Mom settled in.

You know what, maybe I should just go home.

What? No, Mom. We agreed upon this.

Amaar and I want you here. Don't we, honey?

- Sure. - Great. Good. See? Everyone's happy.

OK. Well... well, don't worry. I did bring my earplugs.

What for?

{ Advertisement }

[ ♪ ]

So, will I see you guys at the SAADD meeting

- this afternoon? - I'm not going.

Come on, Mom, give the group a chance.

- Remember what Karl said? - "Please come back.

Promise you'll come back. You're all I've got. "

Before that. Just come!

Oh, look at the time. I'm late for a meeting. Gotta go!

[ ♪ ]

Baber's always with his Christian buddy, you know,

having tea and biscuits instead of doing his job.

- Would you like me to talk to him? - You be Imam.

No, I don't think so. That is not part of the plan.

- You give talk after prayer? - Baber gives the same one every week.

Just like Thorne. Recycling old material is bad form.

And they weren't even good the first time. And he gets all those sayings wrong.

It's so distracting!

He does have some annoying habits. Uh... OK.

I will think about it.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Imam.

- Oh, you're welcome. - Thank you.

I will see you at the mosque, inshallah.

- Goodbye, Imam. - You have colourful cushions. Goodbye.

- Amaar? - Salaam alaikum.

- Walaikum assalaam. Is my mom here? - Uh, no.

Oh, I really need to talk to her. She won't go back to that group. Although...

if she doesn't want to go to the group, I would always just bring the group to her.

- Yeah. - Honey... what would you say...

if I decided to become Imam again?

- I thought you decided not to. - No, I did, but...

Baber has been annoying the congregation.

Yes, I know how they feel about him.

That's why I pushed my dad to bring you here.

I thought it was because I was the Imam of your dreams.

Yeah, and then I woke up.

- Right. - And I realized

that you are the better Imam in every way.

[ ♪ ]

Rayyan. Yeah, I found her in her office.

OK, see you later.

Phew! Baber...

- Working on your sermon, I see. - Trying.

Excellent. Listen, Baber, I was wondering

if you would mind me giving a talk later after prayers.

You're telling me face-to-face that you're going to go

behind my back and steal my Imamship from under my feet?

Is that a yes or a no?

[ ♪ ]

Welcome back, everyone, 'nkay?

I would like to thank you all for not divorcing me... from the group.

- Hi, all. - What are you doing here alone?

Can forbidden fantasies really come true?

My mom won't come back to the meeting,

so I was wondering if we could take the meeting to her.

Oh, my God, we could totally stage an intervention.

Field trip!

Interventions make me sleepy. Let's do it.

Wait, wait, before we go,

I would like to do a centring exercise.

Fred: What?

- Nate. - Whatever.

Ann: Come on, move it.

Na-na-na-na-na-na. Fill the belly.

Ra-na-na-na...

- Wait for me! - Would you quit it?

I'm the leader. Hold on.

No pushing. Come on. Single file.

- Ugh... - Hi.

Karl: OK, front row. I get front row.

Rayyan, what's going on?

You wouldn't come to us, so we had to come to you.

Rayyan, listen to me. I'm OK!

How can you be? Everything is messed up. Dad left.

Sarah, how do you feel about what Rayyan just said?

Your husband abandoned you.

I feel like I'd like to be alone with my daughter.

Sometimes the group dynamic adds a measure of safety to interactions.

That's what my ex said when she wanted to spice things up,

but in this case it's actually true.

What he's saying is we've come to save you from yourself.

You were married for 31 years. How can you just be OK?

[ Snoring ]

[ Mumbling ]

- It's much worse than I imagined. - What, your rash?

Oh, no, the Imam thing. Right.

He said he wants to give a talk after prayers tonight.

- And you said yes? - What choice did I have?

- Say no! - I didn't think of that. Oh, it's all over!

Yeah, yeah, you're probably right.

I'll miss you. How about some backgammon, hmm?

No, wait, ethical dilemma.

If we play, I'll win because you're upset.

Hmm. Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm...

- Yeah, let's play. - My brief

but great Imamship will be nothing more than a brief memo

in the history of Islamic civilization.

- Oh, come on. - Leave me to my pain.

Fine. I'll play with myself.

[ Dice rolling ]

You know, you and Yasir always seemed so good together.

None of us saw the rotting cesspool underneath.

- Cesspool? - Too soft?

Rayyan, could I talk to you alone for a minute please?

Mom, you know, it's OK to grieve.

Dad left us for Lebanon and Grandma.

We're never gonna be a family again.

We are a family. You will always be his daughter.

And you will always be my daughter.

- But don't you miss Dad? - You miss him, sweetie, don't you?

I really do. And I don't understand why you're not upset.

No, I was upset.

But I'm not anymore; you are.

Yeah, of course I am.

If you guys can't make it work,

What chance do Amaar and I have?

- Well, 50% anyway. - Sweetie,

it's not a bad thing. I mean, I know it's not a great thing,

but we had 31 great years together.

You and Amaar are gonna make a wonderful marriage.

I'm sure of it.

That's beautiful.

Please leave.

[ ♪ ]

You all know Amaar.

I know you all like him better than me.

[ People murmuring ] But I will not be one to eat sour bananas.

And I assure you that I will not make a scene

as I leave this job.

And now... with tears in my eyes,

I welcome your new old Imam, Amaar.

[ Applause ]

Thank you, Brother Baber.

You kow, when I came to Mercy five years ago,

it was my calling to serve this community as your Imam.

It's true, Brother Baber can be difficult.

Sometimes he doesn't listen, and he can be paranoid.

I saw your plot right from the start.

But ultimately Baber Siddiqui is a good man

- and a very good Imam. - Hmm?

So now it is my calling, and in fact our calling,

to be a part of Baber's congregation.

And I will wait for Allah's plan to reveal itself for me.

Brother Baber, the mimbar is yours.

[ Baber chuckling ]

I've always loved him.

You're right, it is. I am the Imam.

And you are always welcome to come and talk about what a good Imam I am.

Why?

[ ♪ ]

There we go. The last of Yasir's things.

Does it feel good to get him cleared out?

Yeah, it does. It feels great. A little sad, but great.

Mom, I'm sorry. I tried to bulldoze you,

and I didn't meant to make things worse.

- I'm sorry too. - For what?

Well, I was just so busy being fine, I didn't know you weren't.

You know, for what it's worth, that group really helped.

Really? Was it the talking? The sharing?

- The chanting? - No.

Just knowing I never have to go back.

{ Advertisement }

[ ♪ ]

Wow!

- Is this for me? - Yes.

And take a look at this.

Rayyan, you don't have to do that.

I don't want all these little things to build up between us

so that they fester like some little boil

that you don't even notice until it's so big it's ready to pop.

Thanks, doc, now I'm really ready for breakfast.

Oh, wait. You need one more thing.

What more could I want? This looks great.

You got two percent!

Enjoy your liquid fat.

Look at us. We have two milks now!

What can I say? I'll do anything for love.

[ ♪ ] [ Lyrics in foreign language ]

Subtitle by: Kiasuseven