All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S01E08.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track4_[eng]

flash cars and Nanny Pat's
sausage plait.

But while the tans you see might
be fake,

the people are all real although

some of what they do has been
set up

purely for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way is
Essex."

- Shut up!

- I mean, you've always
wanted your own bar.

- Always.

- Did you dance with me?

- You danced with other geezers.

- He's just so jel at the
minute.

- Everyone's getting jel.

- This is professional.

What's going on between you and
Mark?

- I don't really care about him.

- Are you joking?

- Never have I once said
I'm gonna get back with you.

- Are you actually lying
to yourself or to me?

- Can you see my knickers?

- Yeah!

- [Mark] I tell you what,
you are looking hot.

- Mark, fuck off.

[Mark laughs]

I am not wearing this fucking
outfit.

Yeah, I ain't wearing it.

- Why not?

- 'Cause I ain't wearing it.

- Listen, you know you gonna be

centre of attention everyone's
gonna

- Mark! I'm not going
to an opening of bar,

Halloween dressed as fucking
Cinderella.

- You're not trying to say
you're

trying to dress up like
Cinderella,

you're the bride of Dracula.

You will pull all the birds
wearing that, I promise you.

- The only fucking person
I'll pull is Harry.

[Mark Laughs]

- No, they'll all be going
[laughs]

no, they'll all be
going, "this looks sick,"

'cause you've actually made an
effort.

Boys who don't care about their
appearance

and try and make an
effort, that's what people

would know.

- I ain't wearing this
just to keep you happy.

- All I need you to do is one
favour

and, you know, dress up like
that.

- How are you gonna get
these finished in time?

- Dunno, mate.

[James chuckles]

- It's opening in a couple of
days.

- Lola are performing,

I've asked Lydia if she can work
for me

'cause I'm short of bar staff
this week.

Is that alright, yeah?

- Yeah.

- [Mark] Yeah?

- Yeah, if you really need her

- It's gonna be fine,

I bet Lauren turns up as well.

- What about Lucy?

- I want Lauren and Lucy
to be able to get on.

- Mark, I ain't wearing this.

- You're such a pussy!

- And just keep your
mouth nice and relaxed.

That chin up, good.

Now turn towards me a little
bit,

chin up a little bit, good.

And just keep all the shoulders
relaxed.

Good.

Yeah, perfect!

- Amy, you look so beautiful

- You look lovely.

I love your makeup like that.

- Do you?

- Yeah, do you like it?

- [Amy] Yeah

- I do like it.

- I'd never had it though.

- I think it's 'cause you've
not got the fake lashes on

and your eyebrows are defined.

- Harry, would you like to do it

- What modelling?

- Cover your boobs.

- A naked shoot covering down
below.

- Oh, no.

- I think you'd do so well
at that, don't you think?

- What, standing there like
that?

- That is you, Harry.

- On the front cover of "Men's
Health."

- Or "Gay Times."

- I bet they'd love that.

- They would!

- They would, I just think

you need to put a bit of weight
on.

- Definitely.

- What are you up to later?

- I need to talk to Kirk really.

- Really? Where are you gonna
go?

- Just have a bit of dinner.

I just need to talk to him.

I don't know where we are,
what's happening between us.

- Where you stand.

- I don't know where I stand
with him.

- To be honest, what I think

Kirk's looking for is closure
from you.

I think he wants you to turn
around and

- What's closure mean?

- He wants to be finalised.

He wants to know, I think he
wants

to hear from your mouth,
"I want to be with you."

- And only him. That's what I
wanna do.

- At the end of the day
you know you've got us,

you know what I mean, so

- I can't snog youse two, can I?

- Oh, shut up!

- She probably doesn't realise

that she's doing any
harm, She's just dancing!

Listen, Kirk, she's dancing with
someone.

And, she's got to accept it
if a girl comes up to you.

It can't be

- But she wouldn't.

- Yeah, but it can't be all your
way.

You've got to talk to her about
it.

- Yeah, I did.

- Listen to me, just trust her.

- You're having a go at
me, I did until that night.

I still trust her in a way,

but it hurt me, that night.

- Just calm your jealousy down.

- I'm never gonna
apologise for being jealous

'cause I think it proves that I
care.

- Jealousy, Kirk, can break
a relationship up as well.

[phone rings]

- Hello.

- Hi, Sam.

- Hello.

- How are you doing?

- I'm fine, thanks, you?

- What have you been up to?

- I'm just with Amy,

she's on like a test shoot for
an agency.

- Oh good, so I can kill
two birds with one stone.

Obviously you know, I'm
opening my bar this week,

and, you know, I really
want you to be a part of it

and come and work for me.

- Why are you asking me to work
for you?

Why can't you just ask Lucy
or Lauren to work for you?

- You know you're gonna do it,

so why are you even saying no?

- What?

- Let's just quit the arguing.

- It's a big Halloween night as
well,

so obviously fancy dress.

- Yeah, but I wanna
actually go to the night,

I don't actually want to work on
it.

- So you are supporting me,

you wanna be on my night,

'cause you know it's gonna be
the best.

- No, oh come on.

That's where everyone's going,

it's not 'cause you're there,
you idiot.

- I need obviously you and Amy

to work if that's alright.

But, just let me know obviously

when you have a chance, yeah?

- Will we get free drinks all
night?

- 'Course you will.

- Well, I'm gonna think about
it, I'm not gonna say yes,

I need to speak to Amy about it
first.

- I'll take that as a yes.

Alright, bye, speak to you
later.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Who was that?

- Mark.

- What happened?

- She gonna do it?

- She's saying,

"I'll talk to Amy and I'll let
you know."

- Trying to play hard to get.

- She's doing it like 100%

- Good, so that's sorted.

What else have we got to do?

- Got a paintbrush?

[James chuckles]

- I'll only do it if you do it
with me,

I ain't doing it on my own.

- How much is he giving us?

- He's like, "Oh, well,
we can confirm that."

- Oh whatever.

- And I was like, free drinks
and wine

and he was like, "Yeah, cool."

- What, 20 quid then?

- Yeah, exactly [laughs]

- And then he'll forget to pay
us

at the end of the night, don't
think so.

- I am definitely not doing it
on my own.

- Honey, I've got Kirk,
I've gotta talk to him.

- Oh no, can't you do the
Kirk thing another night?

- I'll meet you after.

- And then I said,

"I'll let you know,"

he said,

"I'll take that as a yes then."

- Oh, whatever, get over me.

- [laughs] Get over me!

- I used to have this diary

and I used to write at the
bottom of

every single entry every day,

"Please, God, let me be a a pop
star,"

like everyday, and if it happens

it'd just be like the biggest,

happiest thing in the whole
world.

- We'll be screaming, I can't
wait.

- My dreams

- What's the next thing you're
doing

- We're singing at Mark's bar
opening.

Are you gonna come?

- Don't know.

- Hard isn't it?

- Is he still managing you?

- I don't know, it's not
really been going very well

and this stylist's got a team
who

he wants to manage us
and it sounds wicked.

Like at the minute it's
literally

make or break for Lola, so it
needs to be sorted out now.

- Alright, Nan?

- Hello Mark, alright?

- How're you doing?

- Alright, thanks.

Doing your ironing as usual
[laughs]

- I need as much done for me as
I can.

I'm so stressed.

- Yeah, I bet you are.

- Where you been?

- Down the bar, yeah

- You seen anything of Lauren?

- I was speaking to her the
other night

and she was just telling me, you
know,

she wants to move on and that's
it now,

blah, blah, blah, you know,

I've gotta let her move on.

I'm moving on myself,
I'm seeing someone else.

But just to hear Lauren actually
say,

"That's it, I'm moving on."

You know, to hear them words is
so hard.

If I'm still in a pickle
about letting her go,

and I'm still worried about
letting her go

I still do think about
her, does that not mean

I still love her?

- It's time I think the two of
you

should split up and, you
know, if that's what you want.

You've got a nice girlfriend,

let her find someone else.

- Also, I don't want Lucy
to be in the middle of it.

'Cause I like Lucy, she's a nice
girl

and she's good looking and I do
like her.

- If you let her go, I mean, you
might not

get another one like her.

- No, I'm not gonna let Lucy go.

- But then you can't have two.

[theme music plays]

[atmospheric music plays]

- How are you?

- How are you?

- I'm well, how are you?

- Thank you

[upbeat music plays]

- You alright, babe?

- What are you doing?

[Amy laughs]

- So, I'm going to Mark's night
tonight.

Do you think I look all right?

- For a fancy dress party yeah.

[Amy laughs]

But this is supposed to be a
meal

sorting things out and
you turn up like a witch.

- Do you forgive me now?
Are you normal with me?

Not getting jel no more?

- No, you know what,

I'm sorry for the way I come
across but not for the reasons.

And you know I'm a jealous
person

- Arg is my friend.

- But it's not that, he's not

the only person that you
danced with that night.

- Well then you should have
a proper ugly girlfriend,

someone who just don't
care about themselves

- It's not even that

- You can't have a
relationship then, can you now?

- I brung my mum up to see ya.

I brung her all the way up the
party to introduce her to ya

- I've spoken to your mum, she
went to me,

yeah, "Kirk's just really
sensitive."

- I am, so you should understand
that.

I'm insecure with myself
as it is, you know...

- Why would you be insecure
with yourself though Kirk?

I aint, I aint had a
life that yous have had,

you know I grew up with a
completely different life,

you know I'm not used to all
this.

- But that doesn't mean
that you can be jealous.

- No I am, that's how
I come across you know,

I will never stop being jealous,
never,

and it is a bad thing, but
I've never been able to do it,

I've been like it since I was a
kid.

- Well then you're not going
to have a girlfriend are you?

- Hello.

- How you doing?

- Good thank you, your make up
looks good.

- How you getting on?

- Not bad.

- You look nice.

- Thanks.

- Good outfit.

- Before I carry on working
and before if I wanna work

for you again I just want to
get a few things off my chest.

- Go on.

- And the, the fact that I am
quite pissed off with you now.

- Right.

Not because I'm jealous

and not I don't want you to be
together,

its just like I'm just being
human, it's just how I feel.

If you want me and you to be
friends,

then I'm fine being friends,

then stop the texting and
then when we're together,

don't like give mixed signals

and try and kiss me and cuddle
me

- All right.

- Well I'm still you know...

- Well do you know what I mean?

- I'm still friendly with you,
you know.

- Yeah but that's it,
that's what I'm saying,

so do you want to be my friend
or is it more than friends,

because you, when we're
together,
you can't help yourself.

- No I appreciate that.

I am sorry that you do feel
a bit hurt about things,

because obviously I
didn't mean it for that.

- You all right, you all
right Sam. How are you?

- Good thank you.

- Mark.

- How are you doing?

- Yeah good thank you.

- Anyway I've got to go
so if you need anything

let me know yeah, Luc I'll
see you in a minute babe.

- I'll see you in a minute.

- What were you guys talking
about then?

- I was just saying to him like,

I know that you and Lucy are
together now, and I said that,

and I feel like I can't
have a go at you or Lucy,

because me and you were
never a thing, I said,

but two weeks ago, you
was still seeing Lucy,

don't text me.

- Was this when we were
seeing each other then?

- I don't know because
neither of you told me

you were seeing each other,
do you know what I mean,

so that's how.

- Yeah.

- That's why I don't
know what I am saying,

I said to him, well this
has got to stop then.

- So would you say, would you
say tonight,

would you say tonight he's
come up and flirted with you?

- No because I've been
working on the door.

- What do you think he would
have done

if I wasn't here tonight?

- I really don't know, I...

- Hi ladies.

- Hello.

- We have some important
people here this evening.

Universal really like, but
what they want you to do now is

to come to a decent management
company.

What we can offer you is this,

ok it includes releasing a
single,

and getting into the top ten,
if not top five in two weeks.

- What in two weeks.

- We are gonna take you on a
full PR week,

red carpets, premiers, chat
shows,

singing your song,
performing, all of next week.

We want to shoot a video.

[Jessica screams]

- I'm gonna cry.

- Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God.

- But you have 24 hours
to make a decision.

Now I know Mark's your brother,

and I love him and I
will marry him one day

but it's ultimatum time kids.

This is on the table for
you, you have 24 hours.

- I've never been given
such an amazing opportunity.

- You deserve it girls, you
deserve it.

- Thank you.

[Jessica screams]

- Oh look at you.

- All right babe.

- Yeah you, hi Kirk.

- Hello, you look nice.

I will let yous have a chat,

I'm gonna have a little look
around

- All right then. See you in a
bit.

- I see you in a bit all right.

- See you in a bit Kirk.

- Honey you look gorgeous.

- So do you, love the outfit.

- How was the door
today, I'm so sorry babe,

I literally was with Kirk

and I really was like regretting
it.

- You let me down.

- I'm so sorry.

- You let me down.

No do you know what its fine,

but then like I had to talk
to Mark, he was like how's it

all going and that was my
only, that was my only like,

agghh, and then when I was
talking to Mark Lucy walked
over,

and I just think that if
there wasn't Lauren there

or wasn't Lucy there,

maybe there could be something
with me and him but its not.

- No.

- And it never will be because
of that.

- At the end of the day Sam,

you both are so attracted to
each other.

- Yeah.

- But you're gonna change
that do you know what I mean.

- I'll have to find myself
someone new.

So then how did your date
go with you and Kirk?

- Do you know what it
started off quite bad

but we had such a laugh

we spoke, but let's see what
happens.

- You love him.

- No.

- For the time being, fuck
Kirk; fuck Mark, its me and you.

- We're out on the pull.

- To be honest with you Lucy I
think

you've handled yourself
gracefully

and I think you've gotta
just ignore her now,

don't let it ruin what you two
have got,

do you know what I mean?

- Ahhh thanks Arg.

- Listen to Date Doctor Argent.

He can't hold a relationship
down himself.

[all laugh]

- Ah mate, oh are you
all right though yeah?

- Actually yeah no I'm fine, I'm
fine.

- Right I understand why
you're a bit upset about

the fact that you know, I don't
want you to feel like that,

and also I want to apologise
you know for the other night,

you know Essex Fashion Week,

I never meant to walk
down that aisle with her,

you know I was standing

- The aisle?

- Whatever it's called,
you know the runway.

I was proud of her when
she done that so you know

I don't mind walking down the
catwalk, the runway with her.

All right so lets just forget
about it,

lets move on forward, hopefully
I've got Lauren's word.

She said, "I'm not going
to cause no more arguments"

And we'll take it from there,
yeah?

- So what do you really
think about this bar then?

- You know what, you know
the effort that he's put in

is good but I think it's
a bit of a shithole,

it's like a big room, no
honestly, the toilets are shit.

Honestly I went to wash my hands

I thought the sink was gonna
fall off,

I really did, they're
the old toilets still,

I swear they're

[upbeat music playing]

- What's happening Kirky.

- Hello mate, how you doing?

- Good mate, just
getting, grabbing a drink,

do you want one?

- No I'm all right, I'll
get you one, don't worry.

- Yeah.

- I didn't know you was coming.

- You know what I wanted to
see the competition, you know,

you know I was killing
myself, to come down,

but to be honest mate you've
done some good work you know

but I spoke to Sam and I was
pissed off that you took her

but she said that she's
coming back to Sugar Hut

- Really.

- And I didn't ask her, I didn't
ask her.

- That's all right I can replace
her.

- But you know what I really
think you've done good,

you know.

- Oh thanks Kirk, no listen I
appreciate you coming along,

even though, even if it was
for you know competition

- No to be honest, I
think you've done good,

I think you've done good.

- I've got a option for ya.

- What's that?

- I've got a boxing event

- Yeah.

- In about a week or two.

And I've got to find a fight,

someone my sort of size my sort
of weight.

- Oh mate.

- And I think you know,
what do you reckon?

- I've sort of done the old
fighting stuff and that before,

I used to be a kick-boxer.

- Well if you used to fight
I've got a bit of a challenge

under my belt.

You know what sod it, who ever
wins, wins.

No honestly, the best man
wins you know what I mean.

- No honestly mate, good
luck with the bar mate,

honestly you know.

Its all good mate, all the best.

- Yeah thanks a lot.

- Now where's my drink?

- Well to boxing, to Mark and
Kirk.

- Cheers.

[atmospheric music]

That's a drink, that is ain't
it.

[music plays]

- Bloody hell, about time.

- You've done really well.

- Launched my bar what you
know I've always wanted,

I was there to support you the
other night

'cause I know that
you've always wanted that

and you're not even here,
what's all that about?

- I am here, I'm sorry but I
just,

I went for dinner, but I've got
to go now,

so I'm going to go out in a
minute

but I thought I would pop in and
say hi.

- Well at least you've made the
effort.

What do you reckon of the bar
anyway?

- No it looks really good.

Really nice, Successful?

- Yeah, tired.

- What are you dressed as?

- Dracula.

- You don't look it!

I was expecting a long cloak.

- Yeah obviously that was on.

- And then, the white face.

Have you got a bruise?

No it's face paint,
someone painted me earlier.

- I just popped in, I've
gotta go now anyway.

- Yeah well, see you later on,
yeah?

See you later.

[atmospheric music]

- You all right Lyds?

- How are you?

- So did you enjoy the other
night?

- I did until I saw you.

- But, no, that's all right, its
my fault

- I didn't mean to be horrible
I was just really angry

but I was thinking about it

and obviously since I've been
home

it's really difficult and I'm
like sitting at home by myself

and I just want to call you and
be like,

"Oh Arg come around."

- Why don't you call me then?

- Because I don't want
to be one of those girls

that just takes a boy back
even though they cheat on you.

- I know but I'm... I'm not a
cheater,

I've honestly never done it to
you before

and I would never ever do it
again.

- I know, I don't believe you
did.

- You don't?

- I'm sorry but I've really
missed you.

- Obviously I've missed you so
much,

you know that don't ya?

- Oh yeah.

- Yeah course I have, I don't
know I just,

I just hope like maybe

you will give me a chance,

maybe I can take you out like

and see how it goes from there.

- I'd love that.

- Honestly?

- I'd absolutely love it.

- So do you reckon
we'll get back together?

- I hope so.

[music plays]

- What's wrong?

- Are you joking?

You've got lipstick all over
your cheek

- Well that's from kissing
a thousand girls hello.

- Anyway, I don't get
what you spoke about,

I don't really care to be honest

- I can tell you right now,
I've got nothing to hide.

- No, no.

- I'll tell you right now.

- But you, you've sorted
everything out,

you've had a couple of chats
with her at the fashion show

but yet you still feel the need
to go

and have a chat with her
right in front of me.

- I was at the bar and she
came up to me and said,

"Hello, sorry I'm late, well
done with what you've done,

it looks lovely."

I've not done nothing wrong.

I spoke to Lauren yeah,
she's my ex girlfriend,

She knows that

- Yeah but the thing
is, the thing is Mark,

I know this and I know you've
been together for a long time

and you're gonna talk to her
and see her when you're out

but its just not on.

- Hang on a minute, hang on a
minute.

- It just mugs me off, I'm
sitting with my friends

no no, I'm sitting with my
friends

and you're there chatting
to her right in front of me,

don't come to see me afterwards.

- To be fair, you say
we keep having talks,

we've had two talks in months,

right the two talks are this,

me congratulating her on her new
job...

- Well what was that about?

- Let me finish, let me finish.

- Her saying a couple of weeks
ago

that you stayed round her flat
or

- If she said that, I
haven't heard her say that.

- She said it to you,
you never, you never,

you never said no when she said
it to you.

- Stayed round her flat,

she moved out of her
flat three months ago.

I've only been seeing you
for three weeks, four weeks.

- It's really hard to
trust you, it really is.

- Right well you've got my word,

I promise you now I am
not gonna see anybody

behind your back.

You're too good for that

- Okay, well, we've just
gotta to draw a line...

- Of you and her talking all the
time

- Fair enough.

- I can't sit there and watch it
anymore.

- Okay, and I'm happy to do
that.

Take my word for it?

- Promise?

- Promise you.

- All right, all right.

[Lucy chuckles]

[atmospheric music]

[fire siren]

- Shit.

- Hi, mate.

- Bloody hell.

- Don't look good does it.

- No it don't look too good
mate.

- It's only this part, the
other, up there's fine.

- Literally just this area,
yeah?

- Yeah. I can't believe it.

I just woke up and heard the
fire brigade,

and its', it's on fire.

- It's gutting ain't it.

But you know what I mean,
if you need any help,

if there's anything I
can do, I'm here for ya,

you know what I mean Mark.

- Oh cheers mate.

Well let's go down and sit
at the other part of the bar

because you know it ain't so
depressing.

- Oh this is shocking though,
ain't it?

- Yeah.

See at least as I say this bit
over here

it's not so bad is it.

- No, it's all right.

- A little bit of dust on the
ceiling but

- Anyway at least the fishes
survived.

- Nemo's still there.

- Yeah [chuckles] and
the old crystal frame.

- I will come back, and
I will pick myself up,

because you know everything
happens for a reason in life so

- At least just one little
section

which can be sorted and you'll
be ready to go next week.

- It was a very very bad
Halloween for me.

- [Narrator] Next time on
"The Only Way is Essex."

Can Mark bounce back from
his Halloween nightmare?

Has Amy finally given Kirk the
brush-off?

And who stole Nanny Pat's cherry
off the top of the trifle?

Who knows they're real people...

- I aint wearing this
just to keep you happy.

- [Narrator] and anything can
happen

on "The Only way is Essex."