Original subtitles

- [Narrator] This programme contains flash cars,

big watches, and false boobs.

The tans you see might be fake

but the people are all real.

Although, some of what they do has been set up

purely for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way is Essex:

- What's a vajazzle?

- I've got nothing against Lauren but

your relationship is a joke.

- Can we just get this straight?

I'm not showing Mark my vajazzle.

- Its so funny! Fucking mugs, both of you!

- You're all right, Lauren?

- The name is Amy. To be honest,

it looks a little bit like her.

- How are you, darling?

- Of course he said his wife is all right,

you've got fake boobs and you look really nice.

- If you don't ever want to be with me again,

walk away right now.

[upbeat music]

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

- Oh no.

- [Woman] Oh my god honey, that's so nice.

- Oh my gods.

- [Mark] What is she doing?

- In underwear? Are you serious?

- She looks fucking 19 stone, the div.

- Mark, don't be nasty.

- Why would you even bother though?

- [Old Woman] You've been with her for a while, haven't you?

- [Mark] If I was to get back with her

I was thinking about making it proper

and proposing to her,

so it's not just a relationship.

- [Old Woman] What do you really want though, Mark?

- Its so funny! Fucking mugs, both of you!

[Lauren inhaling] [laughing]

- [James] You all right, Lauren?

- [Jessica] Oh no, can't actually watch.

- [James] Oh shit, that makes me look

like a horrible person.

[dramatic music]

[sniffling]

- I don't know how I could physically...

Even if he said to me,

right, "Let's be together."

But how can I? I'll never be happy.

- Then you've got to move on Lauren.

[dramatic music]

- Apparently she's been saying "I've not spoke to Mark"

"I don't want to call him anymore, I'm moving on."

She reckon she ain't messaged me or anything

since Sugar Hut.

- Yeah? Has she messaged you then?

- What do you think? Its Mark Wright, Arg.

- Well, look at this text.

- "I love you, I'm hurting so much."

- What did you say back?

You didn't say nothing back?

- I just said "I know babe".

- "I know babe"?

- She can't let go, so.

- Neither can you!

- True, true, I'll back you up on that.

- What do you reckon of this motor anyway?

- I like it.

- Is it good enough for me, shades on,

pulling round the King William?

Birds outside. [laughing]

Question I'm asking, is it a bird magnet?

- I think so, I think it is.

- Saying that, I sound like an arrogant bastard.

I could probably be in a Skoda

and still nick birds, couldn't I?

- [Realtor] Okay, so this is the lounge.

- Very nice!

- Your dining room in here as well.

- Love it!

- It's 1800 pounds a month.

- Oh, wow.

- There's a lot of faces in here,

you've got a lot of footballers living next door.

Loads of sports personalities around here.

So, I'm sure you'd fit in all right.

- Yeah. [laughs]

I could see you having a few parties in here then.

- I love it so much, Lauren. - Yeah, it's really nice.

- Okay, well then I'll leave you to have a look around.

And give me a shout if you need me.

- Thank you!

Oh Lauren, I love it so much!

- And I, its just too expensive.

- I know.

- It really is a lot.

- I haven't seen no other flats like this.

I think it's so pretty. - I know.

- Do you know what, it's so much better than Mark's flat.

- Really? Have you spoke to him since the other night?

- I don't even want to speak to Mark anymore.

- Really? - No, I really don't.

- Promise?

- Promise, I can't be bothered with it.

I'll be friends with him but its just so...

It's like a fresh start now.

You know, I really ruined myself the other night.

That's not me.

I can't be with someone who makes me

that person that I don't like.

- You'll be fine, and then you'll just see what happens.

- Yeah, and hopefully a new man.

- Oh gods.

- Yeah, can you imagine?

- So did you have a good night the other night?

- Hm.

- [Laughing] She can't talk, can she?

- It's a bit difficult.

- Why don't you start writing, Sam?

[Sam mumbling]

Sorry, say that again?

- Could you write in down please Sam.

[giggling]

What's that, Sam?

I didn't quite get that.

- Oh, she's going to write something.

- [Harry] Oh the pens out, the pens out.

- The pens out.

Look at the aggression of the pen.

- [dentist laughing]

- [laughing]

- [Harry] Would you like your teeth whitened?

- Yeah, I'm gonna see how Sam's goes

and I'll have mine done after.

And hopefully, like, if I do get a bit of modelling..

- You'd be a good model.

- Think so?

- Course you would.

- [Amy] Sam write something.

Oh it tingles?

Sam, what tingles exactly?

- Her vagina.

[Amy laughing]

- I really like this flat.

I really can see myself living here.

- Its absolutely stunning, I love it so much.

Its just so hot.

- Are you talking about the flat or the estate agent?

- The flat! No I love it, I really do.

- I've got an interview later, haven't I.

- Oh of course you have!

What's it for again?

- Its like, Events on Essex Fashion Week.

- Oh, that'd be so good!

- I know, so I'm working with two twins, so.

- Oh really?

- Two guys.

I'm so nervous about it though. Really nervous.

- Really?

- Its really weird, and I'm in limbo obviously.

Cause where I, everything is gone now,

I've moved out of that flat.

I'm not working at the minute.

So everything's about to start again.

- Like you've gone through that big divorce.

- I know, but obviously if I get the job,

we can afford this flat.

- Yeah, no, definitely.

- So job first, then flat,

then I'll be back to old me again.

- [Lauren] Hi!

- Hi, my name's Adam.

- Nice to meet you. Lauren.

- Simon.

- Nice to meet you!

- [Adam] Take a seat, don't be too nervous.

- I am!

- Um, have you heard of London Fashion Week?

Have you ever attended?

- London, yeah.

I've never heard of Essex Fashion Week.

- This is what we wanna try to do.

- [Lauren] Right, okay.

- We want it to be something that we're gonna start

and hopefully we'll continue every year.

- [Simon] Yeah.

- Yeah, okay, sounds interesting.

- [Simon] Yeah, and we are looking for a personal assistant.

Someone who can organise the events

and kind of be there for our peace of mind as well.

So, just to start off, just to break some ice,

if we were able to provide you a magic lamp

with three wishes, which three wishes would they be?

- They would be, at the moment,

I'm really looking for a new career,

that would be one.

Sort of be happy in what I'm doing, and everything.

Get a new flat, get a new car,

then obviously, when I'm ready,

settle down and get married. [laughs]

- Good, awesome.

I've got a stapler, it's blue, one of my favourite colours.

- Yeah.

- I want you to sell me this stapler.

- Okay, right.

- There's no right or wrong answer.

Obviously you've been put on the spot, so no right or wrong.

- Okay, Wow! [laughing]

You want this, don't you?

Okay, a stapler, everyone needs a stapler.

Obviously, you work with paper everyday.

It's a great colour.

I think blue it's really cool, like a very nice colour.

It can go for girls and boys,

so it's, you know, universal.

So yeah, but I think it's a great price.

- Can you give me a discount?

- Um yeah definitely, if you can buy more than one,

then definitely we can come to some compromise in price.

- Excellent. I think you did really well there.

- [laughing] Hope so!

- That was good, that was really good.

- Can I see in the mirror please?

- Of course you can Sam, hang on a sec.

There you go, have a look.

- [Amy] How good do they look babe?

- Oh god they're really white aren't they?

- [Harry] Aw they look so nice Sam.

- They do look really good actually.

They feel a bit sensitive.

- You are looking hot!

- Do I?

- You look like, someone like Melinda Messenger's teeth.

- Do I?

- Yeah. - Thank you.

- Honey, smile. [laughing]

- [Harry] Beautiful.

- You know I've been thinking for the last couple days

I see something advertised,

I think you should go speed dating.

- Shut up Mark, I ain't going speed dating.

- [Mark] Why not?

- You've got no chance.

- Why not? Everyone in there is single girls.

- I'm not going speed dating.

I don't need to go speed dating to nick a bird Mark.

- Ooh. I probably know all the birds there anyway.

- Yeah, you've probably been through them all.

- Nah. [laughing] There must be one there I don't know,

and I'll join in with you.

- What if Sam and Lauren are gonna be there?

- I'll tell ya, if Lauren's there,

I'll walk in, I'll drag her by her hair

and throw her right back out the door.

[laughing]

- Mark and I are hosting a speed dating night.

- Do we get little name tags?

- Yeah, name tags, you'll get to know people.

But it might, even if things between you and Amy

don't materialise,

you might end up meeting someone that you like.

- Yeah, but I still don't wanna see her

chatting up a geezer.

- Listen, it takes one to know one.

You're the biggest flirt I've ever met.

- Yeah I know, but -- [laughing] I'm sorry.

- I'd love it if you could come.

- Well I'm gonna come to chat up a few girls, you know,

but I don't wanna watch her chat up a few geezers.

I saw her, but that's so selfish innit?

No no, I mean she can do it,

but I don't wanna watch it.

- You just want that geezer to be you and no one else?

- Yeah.

- Come, let's practise mate, let's practise chat up lines.

You must have seen some.

- I ain't got no chat up lines,

you give me one.

- I don't tend to need them to be honest but,

like I'm about to sound like an idiot but,

you know you must have,

be able to have one.

- I haven't got a chat up line,

I've never used a chat up line in my life.

- Come on then, practise on me,

I'm a girl.

Sit down, pretend I'm her,

what are you gonna say?

- Um, dunno just, you alright? What's your name?

- Susie.

- Alright Susie, my name's James,

um, I dunno, I just ask her questions --

- Stop, stop.

If you say that, I promise you now,

she'll get up quicker tan you can fart,

she walks right outta the shop.

And she'll not be coming back. [laughing]

I'll tell you what, since you keep being a pussy,

just do it, I'm gonna time you.

I'm gonna put you on the spot now.

Ready? - Um....

- Is that how you're gonna start? Um, yeah?

- Lemme just relax.

[sighing]

- So far she's looking at you thinking,

"this geezer must be dumb or something."

- I dunno Mark, I dunno what to say.

I just chat to them, my name's Arg,

I sing at New Bar. [laughing]

And that's it.

- Alright, okay, I'm Susie from Chigwell,

so tell me a bit about yourself.

You've got about a minute left now.

The best looking bird is about to skip

onto a good looking fella, and you've lost her.

Because all you've said is um, um, um, and laughed.

- Um, you alright Susie?

Mark, I dunno what to say.

- Yo know what, if that rings

and you ain't said nothing to excite me --

- I've never done speed dating --

- I'm sitting back done there, you're doing it on your own.

- I've never done speed dating before,

I dunno how this works.

- You know just, picture you chatting up a girl.

You know, I'm Arg, you look nice,

you've got lovely eyes. Be confident.

Talk to me.

- What's the name first?

- You know what, you're a complete plum.

I'm ringing it, I'm sitting down.

[timer ringing]

- There you go.

- Amazing, you got the job?

- I know, I'm really happy, I'm so excited.

That little step has made me feel like me again,

do you know what I mean?

I feel like, independent, I've got my independence back.

- Get back the old you.

- Exactly.

I just wanna move on now with everything.

- You know what, I heard about the other day,

there's a speed dating event.

- Oh, don't.

- I know, I know but, c'mon,

it could be a laugh.

If could be funny.

You don't know who you're gonna meet either.

It could be a laugh.

- Oh I know, it's a bit soon for me.

I don't know.

- Yeah.

- We could go as spies.

Who's there? Imagine if Mark was there, haha!

[laughing drowns out talking]

- Alright Mark.

- What's happened mate?

- What's all this, moving out?

- I dunno what to wear tonight.

- I think you've gotta stand out,

I think you gotta walk in there straight away, bang.

We've gotta Essex you up as well.

I.e. bright pink.

So, bright pink, what else you got?

That looks like you're going skiing,

so we'll keep that one out.

[laughing]

I reckon this polo shirt, 'cause it's casual but,

it's also a nice colour, brings out your tan,

you going for a bed later?

- Yeah. - Yeah, perfect.

Show me your chest.

- Uh, no.

- I can see hairs come popping through the top.

- Hang back, well I'll do the polo top button up.

Alright I'll do it later, I'm not doing it now.

- Take that then, put it in your pocket,

because you'll end up forgetting and going there

looking like a gorilla.

What you doing about eyebrows and all that?

I got a plucker down there if you want it.

- Don't need to pluck my eyebrows Mark.

- Nah? - Nah.

- I think that you should, they look like slugs.

- Shut up, you're the one with the unibrow.

[laughing]

- Ain't got a unibrow, you knob.

Pair of converse, you're going in there,

I'm Mister Argent, I don't care,

I'm Mister Essex, see me.

- I really looking forward to tonight,

I'm pretty nervous really.

- I think it's just gonna be really funny.

I'm looking forward to it.

- It's gonna be hilarious.

- I know, isn't it?

- Who's going?

I've heard that Kirk's going.

How awkward.

- What you gonna talk about?

Like, have youse had a row? Or, youse alright?

- No, it's speed dating,

you've gotta talk about yourself ain't you.

- Yeah, they just go -- - Hi, I'm Amy,

I'm Amy, do you know me?

- Yeah like, if we go there and we know people,

everyone's gonna know everything about us anyway.

- What do you do? I'm a doctor.

Should we talk, no, that's a good one,

a politician. So what's going,

no, you work for the Lord of Parliament.

- Lord of Parliament, I don't think that's gonna be

very believable I'm sorry,

I'm in a mini-dress.

Long blonde hair.

- You never know, don't judge a book by its cover.

I work for Tony Blair.

- He's not --

- He's not Prime Minister is he?

- He's not Prime Minister anymore.

- I work for,

- Don't worry. - George Bush is another one.

- America, it's not him anymore either,

it's Obama isn't it.

- Oh, course it is, look at you!

You can get away with it, working for Parliament tonight.

- Yeah maybe. I do tend to watch the news in my mornings.

- Do you?

- Do you know like, when you're just having breakfast,

and it's on in the background, and I think

just passing, I don't actually listen but --

- You know what though, it's so clever I think,

to watch the news.

- It does probably help.

Especially when we're trying to change our jobs,

and be like politicians.

- Yes. Politicians. [laughing]

Yes, all the way.

[upbeat music]

- Piss off.

- You're missing one hair, do you want it?

- Nah, bollocks.

- Do you wanna go there with one hair

different eyebrows to another?

- Alright, I'll just do it myself.

- You ain't gonna see just the one little --

- I'll do it myself Mark!

Ah, fuck off.

[laughing]

I swear to god.

- What are you scared about?

- Right, I ain't doing it again.

[upbeat music]

♪ Face cream

♪ Keeps you young

- That's it.

- You sure?

- Now you look like a bird magnet son, look.

- Don't feel like one.

- Liven up. [slapping]

Get ready with your first set of drinks.

[laughing]

- What about if Lauren's there?

- Oh god, don't even start me on that.

The thing like, that just,

just really really annoys me,

it just the fact that the other night she was going mad,

and like, effing and blinding and to be honest,

I haven't even really said or done anything

which I shouldn't have done.

Just having a drink at the bar with Argent as well,

it's not like it were a double date.

Do you know what I, I mean a date.

- But at the end of the day, I think she knows

she's made herself off.

- Yeah, definitely.

- She knows that, so.

- She does but, guarantee she won't say anything,

or she won't even apologise.

So like, do you know what I mean?

- It's out of order.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ I found out, you're going out with him ♪

♪ Going out with, going out with ♪

♪ You will not believe the state I'm in ♪

♪ Going out with, yeah she's going out with ♪

♪ I can tell I'm just no good for you ♪

♪ Oh, I can tell I'm just no good for you ♪

[gentle synth music]

[upbeat synth music]

- You alright pet?

[upbeat synth music]

- Hello.

[upbeat synth music]

- You alright Lauren?

Aw, there she goes.

Silent treatment for 24 hours.

[muffled group chatting]

- [Mark] Can't believe she's here.

Aw, she's already giving me a dirty look.

- What, dirty look?

- She's given me a dirty look.

- I wanna know if she's come here for a drink,

or if she's come here to speed date.

Well you ain't come here to speed date, have ya so?

- I know, but she's a single girl.

Tryna move on, so let her do it.

But I will be walking out, I don't wanna watch it.

- You ain't let her move on, Mark.

- [Mark] Huh?

- You ain't gonna let her move on.

- We'll see.

- Standard, taking the absolute piss out of me once again.

- Lauren, how am I taking the piss outta you?

- Fuck off.

- Seriously.

- So much worse now, trust me.

- Just 'cause I'm talking to a female.

- No it's not, you're just taking the absolute fucking piss.

- [Mark] How? - 'Cause you are.

- What have I said wrong?

- 'Cause you are, it's just so annoying.

Why you standing here for? You are.

- Have I taken the piss out of her once?

- Yeah, once.

- Absolute fucking piss, get a life.

- I haven't taken the piss out of you once.

- Lauren, Lauren, he ain't take the piss out of you once,

I promise ya.

- A loser, why are you here?

- So why are you here? - Why are you here?

- [Mark] I'm not speed dating --

- I'm going for a drink with my mates.

- [Mark] Are you speed dating?

- Might do, dunno.

- Think someone's desperate. [laughing]

- Not as desperate as you, clearly.

- [Mark] I'm not speed dating, and you are --

- Clearly. - [Arg] That's desperate.

- All my life, it's one big embarrassment.

- No.

- Yeah, I'm a bit like, like a bit ditzy sometimes.

- Love Essex girls, that's what Essex girls

are all about though.

- Yeah, that's what I'm saying, you like our accent?

- I love everything,

you're so glamorous, you know how to dress,

- [Amy] Yeah.

- You're down to Earth, with your fake tan

and hair extensions, I love it all me.

- [Amy] It's all natural.

- I love it all, me.

- I am natural.

- [Mikey] Naturale.

- I've got, this hair.

- [Kirk] Amy, you gonna be good?

- Shut up.

- You best behave yourself, I'm being serious.

- [Woman] Now now, children.

- It's speed dating, so shush.

- I'm being serious though.

- [Amy] So, um,

- What that your ex or something?

- Yeah.

- [Mikey] Is he getting upset or what?

- He's getting a bit jel.

But listen, this is me and your conversation,

not me and Kirk's conversation.

But you are lovely, you are,

I get on really well with you.

- Well, you're stunning babes.

- Really?

- And you're really nice, down to Earth, genuine.

- I'm normal, like people look at me and think

"oh, fucking look at her".

But I'm so normal, and down to Earth.

I've got a good mum and dad, it's all I want.

- Yeah.

[single loud whistle]

- Alright guys, can you mark your score sheets

and move onto the next person.

[kissing]

- You're gorgeous.

- [Mikey] See you later babes.

- Quick, pretend I'm a sort.

- My name's James, what's your name?

- Uh, Lucy.

- [Arg] You alright Lucy?

- [Mark] Where you from?

- I'm from Woodford Green, where you from?

- I'm from Brentwood.

Listen, what'd you do for a living?

- What do I do as a living?

I'm a professional singer,

I'm a nightclub promoter as well.

- Save it, I like it. It's good.

I'm gonna leave you to it, she's gonna be coming over.

- Mark, don't.

- Alright?

- Alright.

- What you doing?

You look really nice.

You do.

Talk to me.

How rude are you!

- Why you shouting over, from there

saying "what you doing?"

- You're getting a bit too flirty.

- Shut up, what and you're not?

- Flirted once.

Honestly I really don't like being horrible to you,

and I don't wanna argue,

I wanna take you out and like, serious.

Yeah?

- Alright?

- [Woman] Yeah, you?

- Yeah, nice to meet ya.

- [Woman] Lovely to meet you to.

What's your name?

- My name's James, what's yours?

- Chantelle, nice to meet you.

- Sorry, what's your name?

- Chantelle.

- Chantelle, nice to meet you. You alright?

- Hello James, I'm alright. Are you alright?

- Yeah, I've never done this before,

I'm gonna be honest with you.

- No me neither, it's fine. [laughing]

- Bit nervous, I don't really know what to say to be honest.

- Why have you got a tan, been on holiday?

- I just come back from Marbella.

- Aw, did you? I love it there.

- Yeah, I was out there for a few months,

I was singing in different bars and --

- You were singing?

- Yeah. - You sing?

- Yeah, it's what I do for a living.

- Sing to me.

- [laughing] I'm not singing now.

- [Chantelle] Why?

- But yeah, that's what I did out there,

but it was alright, I enjoyed it,

and I come back now.

- So, are you gonna go back there next year?

- Might do, I'm not too sure.

- That's cool.

- I've got some bad memories from Marbella, so.

- Really? Why, like what?

- Well, I dunno, me and my bird sort of broke up out there.

So, I had to come home early, and she stayed out there.

- That why you're speed dating?

- That's why I'm speed dating, yeah. [laughing]

- Where you gonna take me?

To your house, for a sleepover?

- I wanna, wanna ask you to take you out,

but it feels cheesy saying it.

I wanna take you, we go like to the zoo,

- To the zoo? What the fuck?

[laughing]

- That's me Amy, take it or leave it.

- Why you take me to the zoo for?

- To have a nice day.

We get to walk around and talk to each other.

We ain't sat down and spoke --

- What, and look at bloody whatever, animals?

- [Kirk] The way you say it,

it sounds embarrassing, it really does.

- Hold my hands.

If you are determined to do this, I'll do it.

- Yeah?

- Are you or not? 'Cause you better tell me now,

you can't bum me off.

- Now right, this is it.

This is where we see what's going on, yeah?

- [Amy] Yeah.

- What you've got to understand,

if I get with you, I want you

and no one else.

- Okay. - Yeah?

You are so pretty though.

You honestly are.

- [laughing] What about you, what do you do?

- At the moment, I work at a gym.

But I wanna do glamour modelling but,

I'm gonna have a boob job.

I'm getting liposuction as well.

- Fuck, you don't need that do you?

- Basically, what they're taking all the fat out

my legs, which just grows,

and put it in my boobs.

- Shut up.

- No, but it's a natural one.

- Why you doing that?

- That's what everyone says but,

that's what I wanna do.

[single loud whistling]

- [Man] Lauren.

- Hm?

- Come and say hello.

- I've said hello.

- Come and say hello.

- Why?

- Lauren, it's a female, who cares?

- It's not about that, it's what I've said

you take the absolute piss once again.

- Why you talking across the room?

- It's fake, you're just so fake.

- Why you talking across the room,

come here. - It makes me laugh.

- If you don't come here, I'm gonna want to walk away.

- Yeah?

- Why do I take the piss?

Because I was talking to a girl who I know?

- I don't care about her,

I don't care about you.

- So what you doing here? - Nothing.

- You don't know what you're talking about,

you don't care about me, nothing like that,

so, what? - Nothing.

- So, chuck down the middle, see you later?

- I -- - I know we're not together.

how about you were saying about literally,

you're going off now, you're independent.

I'm independent, say it again.

- Well I am independent -- - Say it right now.

- I've been independent for how long?

- Say it right now, do you want it?

- Yes.

- [Mark] Yeah? - Yep.

- [Mark] Okay, cool. - Okay.

You just act so different,

that the person I fell in love with

is not the person I met, the person standing in front of me.

- Right now, you wanna move on,

and you wanna get away from here.

- Right now, yeah.

But I don't know, in a couple months time.

- In a couple of months,

do you really think I'm gonna be here?

- Yeah. - Do you think?

That I'm gonna be here?

- Yeah. - Okay, we'll see.

- Because I know you'll realise.

- We'll see. Realise what?

- What you've lost.

- But I've lost you like, three months ago.

- Okay yeah but, you've not lost me because I'm still,

I don't speak to anyone else,

I've never been on a date, I haven't moved on.

- So you're gonna go on a date now then?

- Well, I'm gonna start moving on.

I've never done.

- Okay.

Does that mean I can go on dates now?

- Do what you want.

- So --

- Yeah, but you've done the damage --

- Answer that question -- - I've never done the damage.

- [Mark] Answer that question one more time.

- Yeah. - Yes or no?

- But that's up to you.

It's up to you, let me say something right,

let me say this is how it is.

We broke up, right, stopped seeing you.

I didn't go on a date or anything,

because I still cared about you.

I've got more respect,

but I can't tell you what to do.

You know what I mean? That's up to you.

If you don't care about me anymore, move on.

- That's a bad answer.

See you later.

♪ Little girl goes school

- Oh god, I'd have rather have killed myself

than marry that boy, I'll tell ya.

- Girls, would you like a drink?

- Nah, I'm alright thanks.

- No? - Uh, yes please!

[laughing]

- What would you like? - Can I have white wine?

- Sure, are you single by any chance?

- I've just come out of a long term relationship.

- Oh really? Did it end sour?

- Um, kind of.

No it's alright, we're still friends.

- Just that you're still friends.

- Yeah.

- So there's no chance of him asking you out?

- Uh, no. [laughing]

- I'm very straight-forward, honestly.

- Yeah, you are.

[upbeat acoustic music]

- [Narrator] Next time, on The Only Way Is Essex

Will Kirk and Amy stay loved up? [synth flaring]

Can James ever get to pull an Essex bird? [synth flaring]

What happens when Amy and Sam get wet and wild?

Who knows? They're real people,

and anything can happen on The Only Way Is Essex.

[louder upbeat synth music]

♪ You make me wanna

♪ You make me wanna

♪ You

♪ You

♪ I feel alive

♪ I feel alive

♪ You

♪ You