All language subtitles for Only.Murders.In.The.Building.S05E04.1080p.WEB.H264-ETHEL

Lester likened all the tenants
to birds, his favorite hobby.

And you were the cuckoo chick!

The neediest bird
of all, a taker.

The taker?

Mabel, what's the first
word that comes to mind

when you think of me?

-Oh, narcissist.
-What the hell?

Oh, my God.

Mabel Mora?

Althea?

Actually, it's THĒ now.
I shortened it, T-H-Ē.

Something's not adding up.

Well, I guess it wouldn't
hurt to take a little peek.

We're doing an autopsy?

A meat cleaver to the
chest. Maybe cocaine?

I got it! Money amounts.

"Brown-headed cowbird."

Maybe these are code names.

There might be a game
tonight. We have to go.

Lester and Nicky
have both been here.

You're gonna get us killed by
a bunch of murderous mobsters.

They're all billionaires.

This isn't the mob. This
is the new mob of New York.

How does it feel to be
worth a billion dollars?

If I'm honest, not
as good as it felt

to win my first hundred
dollars on a perfect bluff.

That was the day I fell
in love with parlor games,

and with winning.

I was five years old when I
first beat my father at chess.

Before that, I thought he was
the smartest person in the world.

Broke my heart to
learn that I was,

that no one would beat me
for the rest of my life.

What fun is that?

The problem for most rich people
is that there's no amount of money

that can make 'em
stop wanting more.

Money's a game, and
they love to win.

I know people see me as a rich guy,
but I barely even think about money,

which is why I'm so normal.

Alright, good.

Take that. Throw the ball.

Go get it.

It's great getting
out with the pup.

He can't find it. Go get it.

Not a typical Saturday night.

I think our days of typical
nights here are behind us.

Let's be fast about this.

Are we going to talk about...

-What was that?
-Maybe a rat?

Who's in here?

Why are the richest people
in the world in our basement?

And did they kill our doorman?

Find out next season on...

Oh, I'm taking a panorama.

Jay Pflug has a bandaged
nub, and we have a finger.

I don't think it's a huge leap to
assume that our finger goes on his nub.

Oh, he's definitely a suspect.
At the least, he was involved.

Maybe the cleaver that
was in Nicky's chest

also chopped off Jay's finger.

And Lester was down there.
Maybe he saw something

-he shouldn't have.
-Hello.

What the hell?

I'm LESTR.

Aw, look how moved everyone is.

Meet our new
doorman. We named him

after the dead one, in tribute.

L-E-S-T-R.

Logic Engineered
Secure Tenant Robot.

Those words don't even
make sense together.

They're trying to trick us
into thinking it's a tribute

-instead of the rise of the machine.
-That's true.

My greatest challenge is my
unsettling effect on humans.

Well, I've seen The Terminator,
so I'm on Team Machine.

As the keeper of the building's secrets,
the board hired me to train LESTR.

This is so sad. A robot doorman.

The beginning of the
end of old New York.

No!

See, the machine will just handle
things like deliveries or reminders.

Thanks to the
union... my union...

there will always be a
human face at the door.

Just, hopefully this human.

He's right. We couldn't
get rid of him.

I just need to scan everyone's
iris and fingerprint.

That thing's not getting
anywhere near my irises.

Alright, I'm gonna
get my hair done.

God knows why, since
nobody ever notices.

What's happening to our
sweet little murder building?

Yeah. Things are changing fast.

-Are you doing toe raises?
-Yeah, I do toe raises.

I've never seen
you do a toe raise.

Have you ever seen me brush
my teeth? I do that too.

I took Winnie's doggy
Ritalin, stayed up all night,

-and basically solved this.
-You two are a lot for me today.

-Vince.
-What are you doing here?

And look at you with two eyes.

Hiya, guys. Lester and
I were birding buddies.

So, Oliver invited me up
here to decode the ledger,

figure out which one of
the birds was playing cards

-on the night that he died.
-You birded with Lester?

Well, he was the expert,

I just followed along
to keep him honest.

He had a knack for turning
a robin into a bushtit...

...if you know what I mean.

No one has any
idea what you mean.

Well, he was an optimist.

Very good at life,
but not so at birding.

But I miss him. I miss
our days in the park.

Sit, sit.

Okay.

Oh-ho, wow!

An Oliver Putnam murder
board. Love the sari.

Yeah, from my '70s
Rajneesh days.

Please let that be a hash stain.

That's a lot of work.
Oliver, what happened to you?

Well, I thought about what
you said to me the other day

when you complimented
me. What'd you call me?

-Self-centered narcissist.
-Yes, that... that was it.

Anyway, I heard it.

So, last night, as I lay
there thinking about myself...

the strangest thing happened.

I suddenly thought about you

and how you always
make the murder boards.

So, I thought to myself,
I'll do it, for you.

Bravo, Oliver. Bravo.

-What growth.
-Okay.

We did solve one mystery:

why Lester wrote down
the player's names

using a secret bird code.

They're the most powerful
people in the world.

He was scared of them.

Somebody be recordin', because I
am about to get birdie with it.

Per Lester's notes,

the gaming parlor usually
hosted a whole flock of birds.

But last Saturday,

there were only five.

Now, first, Nicky.

He is the Brown-headed cowbird,

known for their mafia-like
retaliatory behavior.

Oof! Okay, 'kay, 'kay,

you don't have to do the calls.

Well, it sounds like
a mobster, doesn't it?

Next, Jay Pflug, heir
to the Pflug fortune,

maker of Pflug faucets, which
gave everybody lead poisoning.

So, they founded Pflug Pharma,

which invented a medicine
to cure lead poisoning.

Made billions.

He branded himself as, uh, this
black sheep philanthropist,

but the guy is a monster.

His last nonprofit funneled
money to guerrilla groups.

The terrorists,
not the primates.

L-Let's... let's
keep it on birds.

He's the Eurasian Jay.

I, too, get my bird on.

Okay, lotta new colors on you.

Anyway, since the Jay
bird is missing a claw...

No, I'm sorry, I'm done.

He's missing a finger,
so, it's obviously...

No, no, no. We're not done.

Bash Steed.

AI genius, longevity freak.

Way older than he looks,
but no one knows how old

because he owns the internet.

Now, I have to find
out how old he is.

He is the kākāpō.

They are known to live up
to 90 years in the wild.

And finally, Camila White.

Lifestyle queen, hotel magnate,

duchess of cashmere.

You can buy a candle that smells
like the inside of her nose.

She is the queen of decor.

The bowerbird, maker
of beautiful nests.

Ah!

Okay, anyways, there's a
finger in Charles's freezer

and we have a suspect
missing a finger.

So, how do we get to Jay?

-We let him know we're onto him.
-Ahh.

Yes.

And while we here at Only
Murders in the Building

aren't pointing
fingers just yet...

...we're wading into the dangerous
waters of both old mob and new.

Uber rich powerbrokers

who don't have to break an
arm to get what they want.

They just write a check.

No one writes checks anymore.

We already have some ideas
about who has a partial hand

in these two deaths, so
don't miss season five.

This is so good.

Oh, we're definitely
gonna hear from him.

He'll wanna defend himself.

Post, young one!

I do wish we'd worked
in the word "phalange."

Okay, for the last time, Charles,
phalange-thropist is not a good pun.

That's funny.

-To you.
-Mm.

Oh, my God, hi!

Althea... THĒ.

Um, this is Oliver.

-Oh, hello. How are you?
-Hi. Cute pillows.

Yes, I'm bequeathing them to
young Mabel for her new apartment.

That is so kind of you.

I mean, I could buy myself pillows,
it's just, these are vintage Missoni.

THĒ! Hi!

Howard Morris.

That's THĒ.

-Uh, hello, Howard.
-Hi.

THĒ is the number one
most downloaded artist...

...for 13 weeks in a row.

Here's her current hit.

♪ Oh, that's cute ♪

-♪ You're thinking 'bout me all day ♪
-Oh, excuse me, pardon me. Ah!

Glamorous! Okay.

Oh, my God, stop it!

Wait, why did it stop?

Oh, I'm just...
I'm just kidding.

Anyway, Mabel, how are you?
How's your little podcast going?

Great. We dropped our season
five teaser a few days ago.

Their listens are 24% lower

than their season four teaser.

Oh, did you all hear the new
podcast Drunk Sluts Do Murder?

Oh, my God, yes.
I love the sluts.

-Do people say "slut" again?
-Sluts do.

Did you hear the one where
they play strip beer pong

-with the forensics expert?
-Beyond.

Drunk Sluts Do Murder

are ranked 19 spots higher
than Only Murders...

No. No, don't feel bad.

Don't feel bad. It's just
'cause Wondify is, like,

shoving the sluts down
our throats, you know?

It's so hard to get noticed
when you're indie, right?

We actually just signed
a huge deal at Wondify.

So, be prepared to have
us down your throats, too.

We did?

I mean, I... I still
can't believe it.

That is amazing! Oh my God,
so you know what you need?

You need my publicist.
He's so intuitive.

He's psychic, and
he's a hired assassin.

But you did not hear
that from me, okay?

Bye, Howard! Bye, robot.

-Bye, girl!
-Bye, girl.

So, I lied, but maybe
that's not a bad thing,

because now I'm sending
in this kick-ass pitch,

and they'll offer us
a podcast deal, right?

I mean, there's already
a movie about us,

and I... I'm, you
know, just shocked

that they haven't come
to us already, you know?

Mabel, why did you do this?

Okay, fine.

Althea and I were each other's
only friend in middle school.

I trusted her with everything.

And we'd make these
stupid little videos

where we'd play these
characters, Sunny and Cloudy.

Sunny was optimistic.
Cloudy was, well, cloudy.

-And you were Cloudy.
-No, I was Sunny.

Oh, so that's the joke.

-What do you mean?
-Uh, just continue.

Anyway, then when Zoe died...

Zoe... is a familiar name.

Oliver, Mabel's
friend. The roof.

Oh, from season one!

Oh, my God, that was so sad.

Yeah, well, I... I
wasn't doing that great.

I stayed here for the
summer and depressed.

And then, when I went home,
Althea had completely changed.

She had made all new friends
and turned everyone against me.

I kind of spiraled and spent
the rest of high school

in my room with Tumblr.

That's a pornography site.

Not anymore. They ruined it.

Well, now, the person who has
turned me off having friends...

...is here at number one

while we are 32, and...

Um, are my old-men friends
texting while I trauma dump?

Jay Pflug just sent us a video.

Hey, podcasters,
heard your teaser.

Sounds like you have some thoughts.
I'll be by at 7:00 to clear things up.

Oh, shit.

Om...

A billionaire is
coming to dinner.

Champagne, caviar, Godiva.

This is what you're serving
a billionaire for dinner?

No, no, no, we
don't serve dinner.

We serve salty sweets
to make him thirsty,

then offer him nothing
to drink but bubbly.

He'll get blackout and tell
us everything. This is my way.

Yes, let's get a possible murderer
hangry and drunk. Great plan.

If you invite someone over at
7:00, you have to serve 'em dinner.

It's a rule of society.
And that's why I brought...

What is that, the Magna Carta?

No, it's my great-gran's
recipe for duck à I'orange.

It's a billionaire's delight.

Charles, no one needs your
17th-century old lady food

and outdated social rules.

Do you know how many billionaires
I've entertained here?

Well, technically none,
but plenty of millionaires,

which were the
billionaires of the '80s.

Alright, we are interrogating,
not entertaining.

Ah, yeah, but you need
one for the other.

This is one of the
richest people on Earth.

He wants courses.
Many, many courses.

-Etiquette is not dead.
-I think etiquette died

four months after the
internet was invented,

and that guy's head went
into an elephant's ass.

Ah, well.

He's early. He's
an early bird.

Okay, okay.

Oh, Jay, welcome. Come in.

I come bearing gifts.

-Ah.
-Never show up empty-handed.

Though, I'm a little handicapped,
if you don't mind grabbing that.

Oh-ho. Beer, how generous.

Ah, stoked to meet you all.

One of the reasons why I play cards here
is because it's the murder building,

and that is all because of you.

Well, we give a lot of
credit to the murderers.

Say, so, uh, what has you playing
cards in our famous Velvet Room?

You know, I started
a few months ago...

Man, I knew I was
being followed.

Good evening. Camila White.

Oh, isn't this an assaulting
amount of everything?

Better.

Oh, my goodness.

Jay, is that you?

-I had no idea you'd be here.
-Mm-hmm.

Well, I heard the podcast, and
it seemed like these people

thought you were involved
in the mob killing.

Camila White,
charmed. Camila White.

Oh, dear God. A plum plaid.

So, I'm here to
clear Jay's name.

Fuck off, Camila, I'm
here to clear my name.

You were worried about
what I'd say about you.

That is certainly not true,

and I don't like the ugly use
of words that end in hard Ks.

Shall we begin again?

Softer consonants?

Our host brought
four chocolates.

Hello. Sebastian Steed.

No... I'd invite you in
if I had more chocolates.

Oh, my God. You're spying on us.

Of course he is, he
owns the internet.

Just stopping by
for a drink, Bash?

No. I'm here because
they're investigating you.

Naturally, I've been
having you followed.

I knew you'd try
to pin it on me.

Thanks for your
robot-like honesty.

You're welcome.

Well, we're really
having a party here.

Please, have a seat.

Whoo!

Who needs champagne?

Oh, I'll have a '97 Bordeaux.

-I don't think I have that.
-Oh, truly,

any '97 Bordeaux will do.

I don't have any'97 Bordeaux.

So, I'm noticing three of the
richest people in the world

are here in our little building.

I'm top three, they're top 20.

Sebastian, on many
lists I'm four.

Uh, the point is that you
all seem a little nervous

about what our little
investigation has uncovered.

No one's nervous.

We're all here for
one reason. Yeah?

Yes. To give you the opportunity

to keep us out of your podcast
before we sue you for libel.

Libel, wow.

Let's... let's just turn
down the temp a tad,

and, uh, let's
nibble some caviar...

Oh.

Oops. I'm so sorry.

There really wasn't very much.

It's not libel to say we found you
sniffing around a murder scene.

What do you mean?

The news said that
the body was found

hanging from a rack in
his own dry cleaners?

Yes, I... I don't know why
you're even looking into this.

I mean, my people say you
do murders in the building.

It's an odd business model,
this "in the building" rule.

Your metrics would
improve with a wider net.

Bash, always be talking metrics.

Well, the dry cleaners
is on the street level,

so technically, it
is "of" the building.

Listen, nobody
wants to sue anyone.

We just can't have our names
tied to secret card games

-and dead mobsters, you know?
-Mm.

My stock crashes,
and tens of thousands

of indigenous weavers go hungry.

Because she fires 'em.

Yes, why else would
they go hungry?

So, the three of you knew the
"Dry Cleaning King of Brooklyn"?

The dead mobster? Not at all.

I know he owned
the gaming parlor.

The mobby shit's always been part
of what makes the place so cool.

What's there to investigate?

A mob hit is very open and
shut. Won't be your best season.

Well, we're also investigating
the death of our doorman.

Did you know him?

I mean, there was a guy
who always covered the door

for the Saturday games.
Uh, gray mustache?

That was Lester. It was
ruled natural causes

because of a fall.

Yes, falls are the leading cause
of injury deaths in the elderly.

-You two, be careful.
-Our Pilates instructor says we have

-the gait stability of 46-year-olds.
-It's true.

If you're serious
about age-reversal,

you have to consider
plasma replacement therapy.

I own a stable of
teen plasma donors.

We have reason to believe that Nicky
died last week when Lester died.

There were signs that
Nicky was frozen.

Someone hid his body to make it
look like they were unrelated.

Oh, you got your
hands on the body.

Wow.

I mean, can you admit that

on a podcast? That's
a felony, right?

I'm sure they went to the
authorities immediately.

Mm.

Mm-hmm. Um, you know what,
let's get you some more caviar.

-Mm. Absolutely.
-Let's get it, I think there's more caviar

-in the kitchen.
-I'm good.

-We definitely have bologna.
-And, uh,

I think there's
a fresher bottle.

Okay, okay, okay, I was
not prepared for all three.

Are they making veiled
threats or being charming?

I can't tell.

Let's split them up and see what
they say about Jay's finger.

I'll take Jay because
we're not old.

And Charles should take Bash
because they're both, well,

what we used to call
"the weird kid."

Aw.

Camila! I... I just have
a few more questions.

Can I give you a tour?

Fine.

If you can stop yelling,
a tour before dinner.

Dinner! I said we need dinner.

Of course, a party
at 7:00 means dinner.

Thank you, Bash! Gimme a hand?

If the servants don't mind.

Oh, the servants
aren't gonna mind.

Beer?

So, Jay...

How'd you lose the finger?

How'd those two old guys
become your best friends?

Nice.

So, how well do you know Jay?

Have you... have you two been
playing together for long?

All I know about Jay

is he has a tantrum like
a toddler when he loses...

-Ooh.
-...which is tragic and amusing.

I'm sorry, but every room

-in this house needs me.
-Oh.

Are those the Statler and
Waldorf balconies on your wall?

Ha! Well, I'm... I'm
a theater director.

So, you thought, "I should put
theater directing on my walls"?

Well, but, the... the beauty of
this place is really its stories.

Uh, like my ex-wife,
uh, loved these drapes,

so I fought to keep
them out of spite.

Not necessarily
my finest moment,

but, uh, not all the
stories in here are great.

Well, this looks great.

This is great. It's my new wife.

And she moved in... to all this?

Uh, well, n... Uh, not yet,

but, uh, you know, I mean...

I love duck à I'orange.

During the war we only
had duck at Christmas.

Oh, and... and
which war was that?

"Three sprigs of
parsley." Uh, I'll chop.

Haven't cooked in decades.

So, you haven't used a...
a cleaver in a while.

You know anybody else who
might have used a cleaver?

-Anybody?
-Isn't it interesting?

None of us will leave
behind written recipes.

Future generations will just
have bookmarks on chef robots.

Yeah, it's, uh...
it's true, it's sad.

You know, the... the
times are changing,

especially for us old guys in
our... How old did you say you were?

That depends on the organ.

Charles, wallowing takes
six years off your life.

Dorothy Parker told me
that. She took my virginity.

Point is, you're only old if
you don't change with the times.

You know, technology's
helped me stay young.

But reinvention is the real key.

Yeah, that... it... it takes
a lot of energy keeping up.

Yeah, it does.

Every time I've put a wife in
assisted living and had to start over,

I've had moments of
doubt that I could do it.

But I did.

And you can.

Well, thank you.

Now, how much orange zest
goes in great-gran's...

Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

My great-gran is gone!

It's gone.

No!

How much orange zest

is in Charles-Haden Savage's
great-gran's duck à I'orange recipe?

There are
one-and-a-half teaspoons

of orange zest in that recipe.

How did it know that?

Show me Charles-Haden Savage

making duck à I'orange.

That sounds like a
lot of zest, Brazzos.

I'm zesty, Regis.

Yes, you're a
multi-talented guy.

I admire guys like that, that
could do more than one thing.

I just revel in it.

Probably in ten minutes, something
unbelievable is gonna happen.

Why do I think it's gonna be
me making your duck à I'orange?

Well, Regis, because
you're psychic.

We're gonna take
a commercial break

and make it happen
in the next segment.

I forgot I did that.

My great-gran lives on.

Thank you.

This is why I do what I do.

In the right hands, technology should
keep the past alive, preserved,

like I'm preserved every night
floating in my tank of collagen.

-I also had a sad home.
-Ah.

My first one.

A young girl with a
deep love of beauty,

born to a casino magnate and
his former showgirl wife,

raised amidst a sea of hot pink

in Reno.

Eww, so sorry.

The moment I turned 18,

I moved... to Connecticut.

-Oh.
-Leaving that home

jump-started my mission
to beautify the world,

and it turned me
into a billionaire.

And I started with nothing.

So, are... are you
saying that Loretta and I

should start fresh?
Get a new place?

-These bones are remarkable.
-Ah.

You just need to
change everything.

So, uh, come on, the finger?

I gotta know.

The only crime I'm guilty of is
being an embarrassing nepo baby

who's trying to do some good
with his ancestors' blood money.

Yeah, and how's that going?

I started my own
nonprofit, hired a CEO,

a friend of mine I trusted,
who then took all the money.

Everyone thinks I'm a swindler,

but really, I'm just shit
at knowing who to trust.

I'm sure it'll happen again.

Then, why keep trying?

Because I wanna prove to everyone
that I'm not a... fuck up.

Are you aware of the
pop sensation THĒ?

Uh, the "The" girl? Yeah, why?

She is someone I
incorrectly trusted.

She couldn't be
more frustrating,

and I... I can't stop
wanting to impress her.

So, I lied and said we were
getting a deal at Wondify,

and we aren't.

So, now I have to try
to make that happen.

I'm sure it won't.

And I hate myself for that.

♪ Wish that you were me, bet
you wish that you were me ♪

I will literally kill you.

She wrote that, I
feel like, about me.

It's really good. It's catchy.

I was playing with these
bozos the night Nicky died,

but I did not kill anyone.

So, what happened
with your finger?

Just another bad decision in
a long line of bad decisions.

While we have a quiet moment,

I wanna help you make sure you
stay out of our little story.

But what happened
to Jay's finger?

Fine.

The night Lester died,

Nicky showed up
with this cleaver.

Wa... Was he mad at
someone? Maybe Jay?

He was livid and raving
about the film "Goodfellows"?

He had an inordinate
amount of white powder

under his nose.

I'd call it a Snow White white,

or perhaps a
Santa's beard white.

He was nuts.

He was gonna hit someone.
I tried to stop him.

I mean, Bash is
covered in baby skin,

but he's pretty old.

Well, I tried to calm him down,
but Jay had to be the hero,

and so Nicky... "chh!"...
chopped off his finger.

I obviously left
because of the mess.

And also, it's rude to be the
last to leave a party, so...

I told Jay not to escalate, but
chop-chop. Then we all ran out.

There wasn't time to look for
it, which is why I went back.

It'd be nice not to have a
finger floating around, ya know?

You didn't happen to see
it in there, did you?

Okay. Duck à I'orange

is ready in two
hours and 45 minutes.

-Who's hungry?
-I don't eat after 11 a.m.,

but have we answered
all your questions?

Well, yes, I learned that
Nicky chopped off Jay's finger,

and then Bash, Camila,
and Jay ran out.

-Yeah, that's what Jay said.
-And Lester and Nicky

were still alive, so...

Huh, look at you two not
lying to pin it on me.

-You do care.
-Case closed.

And now that we've
cleared this up,

I trust I won't hear my
name on future episodes.

Okay, duck à I'orange in
two hours and 44 minutes.

Ah. Next time.

Forgot I have some friends coming
over to do some rock climbing.

Mabel...

thanks.

It was a really nice talk.

Touching food
again was pleasant.

Enjoy the remodel.

Wait, what remodel?

Wow, this really is much better.

How did we not hear anything?

She's a home decor witch!

This is better.
The hot glue fumes

from my apartment
jump-started my hangover.

Does champagne expire?

Oh, you should really
lay off the alcohol.

Uh, Bash says it
inflames your enzymes.

Now, which war would
you think was going on

when Dorothy Parker was
in her sexual prime?

First sexual prime, or second?

How crazy is it that we have Jay
Pflug's finger in your freezer?

At least we figured that out.

So, we're gonna
believe these three?

Oh, please, Camila is no killer.

Although, I felt like I was
spending a couple of hours

with a cross between Ann-Margret and
Nanette Fabray, so I almost died.

Jay didn't do it.

He was just trying
to protect everyone.

He's, um... sweeter
than I expected.

Mabel...

did your eyelashes just flutter?

Oliver, Jay makes Mabel's
eyelashes flutter.

No, I'm n... Shut up,
I'm not fluttering.

It's just maybe we should
give him his finger back.

Crushing on a suspect, Mabel?

This is really a
Charles storyline,

-isn't it?
-Ugh.

If both of you couple up,

that leaves me birding with Vince,
or getting a drink with a robot.

Oh, my God, you guys,
Wondify wants to sign us.

They said that they
would love to have us

come see the studio and become
part of the Wondify family.

-Your email worked!
-You're kidding.

Oh, take that, THĒ.

Whoa, wish that
you were us, bitch!

Whoa, I didn't mean
for that to come out.

Wish that you were us, ma'am.

-I'm very excited.
-Me too.

Welcome, OMITB!

Congratulations, you have
a beautiful baby podcast.

Oh, we're so excited.

Let me give you a tour,
okay? I love the stripes.

-Oh, thanks.
-It's fab.

Some of our smaller
studios are that way.

Oh, you're gonna love this.
Those are the Drunk Sluts.

Such champs, recorded
seven episodes today.

Oh my God...

You're killin' it, ladies!

-Hi!
-Ah!

Okay.

-This is your studio.
-Whoa. What?

Oh, really?

-Okay.
-Yeah.

Oh, my God.

-Yeah. Mm-hmm.
-Thank you. Oh, water.

Hello, how are you?

-Oh, your camera operator.
-Hi.

-Your engineer.
-Hi.

-Hi.
-Look at the awards.

-It's insane.
-Okay, uh, this'll do.

Okay.

So, per the contract,
we'll relaunch you

with a month-long stint
on our welcome page.

-Uh-huh.
-I told your lawyer between makeup lines

and elder safety devices, you're
an advertising juggernaut.

Well, the timing
couldn't be better.

I mean, considering who
we're investigating,

we could use a little
extra firepower.

And it's a cast of
characters you dream of.

You know, an... an
adulterous mob wife.

Sebastian Steed and Camila
White running for their lives

after a mobster chops
off Jay Pflug's finger.

Incredible. Just one thing...

Sorry. Guys?

Which way do your
pointers curve?

They point away from each other.

-Huh, never noticed that.
-Yeah.

Jay lost his right finger.

The finger we have curves left.

That lying piece of shit.

-This isn't his finger.
-So, who... Whose finger is it?

You mean, they were lying when
they told us what happened?

They had gotten their
stories straight.

Someone else was in
the room that night,

someone that Lester didn't
put in his little bird ledger.

Well, I'm ready to
start recording.

I'm gonna take that
little nepo baby down.

Wow, what a twist.

Just keep in mind the restrictions of
the corporate machine we have here.

Sorry? What restrictions?

Well, per the contract
you just signed,

you're unable to podcast about
management of the company.

Conflict of interest.

And we have new majority
stakeholders as of very recently.

Um, who?

The easiest way to win a game

is to make your opponent
think they're playing

a different game entirely.

-I confided in Jay.
-They joined forces.

They're all dirty.

While focused on that game,

your opponent may give
you just what you need

to win the real prize.

Oh God, don't worry.

If eliminating those three takes
the teeth out of this story,

your deal can be rolled to
any other podcast ideas.

You know, you're family now,

and will remain exclusively
so for three years.

By the time they realize
what you've done...

game's over.