Original subtitles

[? upbeat theme music playing]

[glass shatters]

[? theme concludes]

[? suspenseful music playing]

[metallic tiptoeing footsteps]

[tiny feet retracting]

[Bender grunts]

[metallic clank]

[? suspenseful music continues]

The perfect crime.

A pitch-black night,

-an unsuspecting victim... -[Hyper-Chicken snoring clucks]

...and a master burglar known only as, "The Cat."

[quietly] It's me, Bender.

[snoring clucks]

[Bender quietly giggling]

Ah!

Cock-a-doodle-what-now?

[Bender yelps]

Whoa-oh-oh, oh! [screaming]

[continues screaming]

[thuds loudly]

[cracking]

Man, what the hell ruined The Cat's pitch-black moonless night?

[? mysterious music playing]

[? news theme plays on TV]

News flash.

A new flash has mysteriously appeared in the sky.

Reports indicate the intense glare is visible throughout the known universe.

And let me add that it is not helping my hangover!

[Morbo groaning, head pulsing]

[Linda laughs]

Even scientists have no idea what it is.

I know exactly what it is!

[grunts weakly]

[remote clatters]

It's been theorized, but never before observed.

[TV shatters]

A white hole!

So, no one knows what it does?

I know exactly what it does!

It's the precise opposite of a black hole.

Instead of sucking everything in, it blasts everything out.

Energy, matter, time- the big three.

And no one knows why?

I know exactly why!

Oh. No, wait, I don't.

Well, I think it's because it wants attention.

Why would you think that?

[? ominous music playing]

Ha, ha! Ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!

Huh... huh... huh...?

[Kirk] Ah...

[wings fluttering]

I think it means "attention."

Oh, right, right, right, right.

[white hole whooshing]

[The Great Inviter] Greetings, Universe Six.

[all gasping]

Six?

[The Great Inviter] We of the outer realms have opened this white hole...

Told ya!

[The Great Inviter] ...as a portal that you may join

the other 12 or so universes

in bearing witness to the greatest event that can be witnessed...

Somethin' about my ass? [giggles]

[The Great Inviter] ...the birth of a new universe.

[all] Whoa.

Congrats.

[The Great Inviter] You must choose a group

of your worthiest representatives.

If there are eight or less sentient beings in your universe,

you can all come.

Otherwise, figure something out.

[white hole whooshing]

My friends,

I can think of no finer crew to represent our universe.

But we'll need to persuade the President of Earth

in language he'll understand.

[? upbeat music playing]

Look, I'm touched and flattered by the size of this pile,

and I'd love to send you on this mission,

but there's a problem.

Gotcha.

-[grunting] -[coins jingling]

Um, no backsies,

but I'm afraid this is one of those rare problems

that can't be solved with bribery.

-Rosemary! -[Rosemary] [over intercom] Yeah?

Send in the Secretary of Space.

And, uh, cue his theme song.

[? fanciful whistling theme song playing]

Bubblegum Tate!

Farnsy, my man!

[hands smacking]

So, why can't I go?

You're just too dang old.

You take that back!

Why, if I weren't so old, I'd cider your apples.

It's simple physics, Prof.

You're right, it's so obvious!

The white hole is shooting chronitons in all directions.

Mm-hmm. It's the Larry Bird of holes.

The local time acceleration must be immense.

Anyone approaching it would age substantially.

Right on.

And as it is, you might drop dead

before the end of this sentence...

Was that a period or a comma?

Ellipses, dig?

We need some young blood for this mission,

comma...

so, we have selected these members

of the Sunnyside Middle School Model U.N. Team

to represent our universe.

Fine, upstanding youngsters.

Not a hippie or commie among them.

Gee whiz!

We'll try our very best to make everyone proud.

Ooh, I hate her so much!

That should have been me!

Now, your journey will be long.

But not as long as the long-lasting taste

of Charleston Chew!

-[fireworks popping] -[cheering and applause]

-[? inspiring music playing] -[applause continues]

[whimpering]

[rocket fires, takes off]

[rocket zooming]

[cheering and applause continue]

-[loud crashing] -[crowd gasping]

Well, that was quick.

[? dramatic sting]

Boo!

Little girl, tell us of the wonders you witnessed.

Gee whiz.

By the ship's clock,

we had been traveling for 80 years

when it all went to hell.

The winds of time blew against us like a hurricane

and forced us back to Earth.

Our bodies withered and our lives wasted.

[Professor gleefully giggles]

We must have underestimated the chroniton flux.

Bender, give me somethin' to write on.

-[fast scribbling] -Ooh! [chuckles] Oh yeah.

A little to the left.

Huh, according to those assulations,

it is possible to reach the white hole.

Maybe, but it would take the most powerful rocket ever built,

and a crew in stone-cold storage

for 10 million years.

Make it so!

I'll be proud to lead the mission.

My life will have meaning after all.

-[coughing, choking] -[body thuds]

Aw.

I'll take her wallet to remember her by.

And thus,

I was named leader of the greatest adventure

in the history of the universe.

Sure. Uh, why not?

[howling] Aroooo!

[? thrilling music playing]

[announcer] This Week in the Universe!

Dateline Sol 3.

Corners are being cut and expenses spared

to build the largest rocket ever conceived

in record time!

And what's this cherry on top?

Why, it's the Planet Express ship, whose heroic crew

will serve as our emissaries

to the historic birth of a new universe.

[chuckling] And, yes, Scruffy's going, too.

The stars called and Scruffy said, "A-yup."

-[? grand music playing] -[cameras clicking]

-[door thuds] -[? music stops]

The ship should hold out.

But for us to survive such a long journey,

we'll need to be frozen in carbonara.

[button clicks]

[goo gurgling]

Ooh, I've never been frozen in that before.

What's that, the litter box?

[Professor] It's an advanced 3D bio-printer.

It will create temporary copies of us

to deal with any routine maintenance or emergencies.

I doubt there'll be any emergencies.

-[flames whooshing] -[screaming] Emergency!

Ah, the carbonara is approaching absolute zero.

I'll put the champagne in to chill for our arrival.

[bottle sloshing]

Well, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Just relax and lie down in your ice coffins.

[all whimpering, groaning]

See you in 10 million... [gargling] years.

[mechanical whirring]

[slab thuds]

[? suspenseful music playing]

[ramp whirring]

[metallic clanging]

[crane whirring]

[headless body of Agnew grunting] Three... two... one...

[big grunt]

[lighter clicking]

-[fireball blasting] -Whoas!

??

[? grand music playing]

[mechanical arm whirring]

-[flames crackling] -Godspeeds, space travelerses.

[? dramatic music playing]

[energy warbling]

[? mysterious music playing]

[clock ticking]

[ticking speeding up]

[clock hands whooshing]

[spring breaks]

[dripping, plops]

[buzzer blares]

[printer whirring]

[? dramatic music playing]

[ding]

Mm-hmm.

[hologram chiming]

Welcome into existence, Scruffy Number One.

You are a temporary duplicate of the original Scruffy,

created for a single critical mission.

That so?

You have all of Scruffy's skills,

all his passions and desires.

Tell me somethin' I don't feel burnin' in my loins.

But the ship's hull will only shield you briefly from the time flux,

so you must act quickly.

What is this vital mission for which I've been created?

You see that leaking pipe over there?

[dripping]

Yeah. I'll get around to it after my break.

You don't get a break. You'll be dead in five minutes.

This mission kit contains all the equipment you'll need.

Ta-ta!

[chewing loudly]

[lights clicking]

Scruffy Number One leaves this world

a little better than he found it.

[choking]

[bones clattering]

[? mysterious music playing]

[printer whirring]

Welcome into existence, Fry Number One.

You have been created for a single critical mission.

What is it?

Scruffy Number One left the lights on.

Okay... let's see what I have to work with.

[mechanical whirring]

[thumping]

[clicking]

It's been an honor.

-[choking] -[bones clattering]

[? dramatic music playing]

[workers chattering, buttons beeping]

[inhaling deeply]

Main booty separation in three...

two...

[graphics clanking]

-[rusty squeak] -Uh-oh!

-[monitor beeping] -[workers gasping]

[alarm blaring]

It's hung up on the rim!

Is Amy okay?

What's- Who- What's happening?!

Rocket separation failure!

We're gonna need more cigarettes!

-[inhaling deeply] -[alarm continues blaring]

[error code beeping]

[alarm blares]

[printer whirring]

[ding]

You better have a damn good reason for calling me into existence!

The release hook on the rocket booster has failed.

You need to unbend it at once!

I'm a replicant.

I don't take orders from a hologram.

You must!

It's our only hope of saving the originals.

[? soft, poignant music playing]

[choking up] I'll do it.

For him.

Be warned.

Once outside the ship's cladding,

you'll age at a fantastic rate.

Everything I do is fantastic, baby.

[Bender scat singing]

[hinges squeak]

[chanting] Go Bender! Go Bender,

go Bender, go Bender, go Bender!

-[speaking slower] Go Bender, go Bender. -[joints cracking]

-[rusty squeaking] -[elderly voice] Go Bender, go Bender.

[straining] Go Bender...

[weakly] Go Bender.

[muttering] Go Bender.

[metal squeaking]

Go-

-[thrusters blasting] -[Bender Number One groaning]

[groaning over monitor]

That is one dead hero.

What's that for?

-[groaning] -[bones clatter]

This.

My life's work is complete.

-[groans] -[bones clattering]

My life's work is complete.

-[groans] -[bones clattering]

No infinite loops on Scruffy Number Four's watch.

-[choking, groaning] -[bones clattering]

[wind whooshing]

[? mysterious music playing]

[calculator keys clacking]

Divided by 28 cents per kiloton...

-[keys clacking] -[sighs]

I can't believe I was brought into existence

just to calculate mileage depreciation.

[chuckling] But I'm glad I was!

My Manwich!

[choking, groaning]

That's it? My whole existence was just to open a can of sandwich?

[Amy Number 31] Oh, quit complaining.

I keep getting created just to cheer people up

before they disintegrate.

[horn blowing]

It works!

[both laughing]

[both groaning]

[? mystical music playing]

[energy warbling]

[gooey mass splats]

[wiper whirring]

[splatting]

[alarm blaring]

-[printer whirring] -[ding]

-[alarm continues] -Whoa!

It's a swarm of space salps.

Living creatures attempting to feed on the ship!

You're right!

Amy Number 61, man the harpoon station!

Leela Number 15, evasive action!

Me Number Four, collapse into a pile.

-[groaning] -[bones clatter]

[? dramatic music playing]

Die, you whatever-you-are!

[harpoon blasts]

[rope whooshing]

[glass shattering]

[Leela Number 15 screaming]

I'm on it!

[? dramatic music continues]

[duct tape ripping]

[screaming]

-[duct tape ripping] -[? music stops]

Thank you, Fry Number 27.

[smooching]

I got printed by accident.

Is it cool if I stand here and eat some yogurt?

I've got it!

[horn blowing]

[groaning]

To kill the salps, we'll electrify the hull.

Hit me!

[electricity buzzing]

[salps sizzling and popping]

It worked!

[crew cheering]

And all thanks to me, Bender Number Three.

I demand a raise!

You got it! Three... two...

-[all groaning] -[bones and metal clattering]

[Bender Number Three] I'm the greatest!

[? dramatic music playing]

[energy whooshing]

[yogurt gurgling]

[? dramatic sting]

[printer whirring]

What up?

Uh, you left your yogurt out a million years ago.

Good, I'm hungry.

That's weird. Where's the yogurt?

-[baby cooing] -Oh, here it comes.

What a cute little-

[screaming]

[yacking]

-A-yup. -[yogurt blob slurping]

[? eerie music playing]

[? ominous music playing]

[? dramatic music playing]

[energy zapping]

[ding]

[hologram chiming]

Welcome into existence, Zoidberg Number One.

You've been created for a single critical mission:

to save the real crew members who we care about.

You don't care about me?

Not even a little.

Now, all replicants receive a uniquely customized mission kit.

I didn't get a kit.

You don't need a kit.

Your mission only requires your appetite.

That I got! What's on the menu?

A , uh... certain quantity of yogurt.

Such small portions.

[? ominous music playing]

[yogurt blob growling, devouring]

[printer whirring]

-Wow, look at all that yogurt. -Wow, look at all that yogurt.

Yum, let me at it!

You're not even done printing!

I've got a stomach and a mouth,

what else does a guy need?

[slithering and squelching]

[whimpering]

[Zoidbergs chomping]

-[yogurt goop splattering] -Oh! Oh! Ooh!

-That was 600 pounds of yogurt! - [Zoidbergs slurping]

No wonder I'm still hungry.

[pincers clamping]

-[chomping and devouring] -[Zoidberg replicant] Oh, no, no, no, no.

Dear God!

[slurping]

[in deep voice] Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.

-[printer whirring] -[ding]

[? suspenseful music playing]

Where are ya, ya filthy mudbug?

Right here.

-[lights click] -Where are you?

[Hermes Number 38] Right here. Oops.

[Zoidberg Number 4 roaring and chomping]

-[? horror music playing] -[Hermes Number 38 whimpering]

[? music stops]

Feh, too spicy.

-[mechanical stomping] -[yelps]

This is for Hermes Number 38.

And a couple of Frys!

[clomping]

Die, you-

-[mini-Zoidberg screeching] -[Leela Number 92 screams]

-[mech-suit thuds] -[laughing maniacally]

I'm unstoppable!

[coughing and wheezing]

Who's laughing now?

[laughing]

[coughing]

-[groaning] -[bones clattering]

[Hologram Professor] Hologram Professor's log.

Millions of years passed,

most of them exciting,

as our frozen heroes slumbered bravely toward glory.

And at last,

we crossed the reverse event horizon.

[ship zooming]

[? epic music playing]

[alarm clock bell ringing]

[lights zapping]

Good news, disposable maintenance copies!

[duplicate crew cheering]

Wait, disposable?

Thanks to the efforts of temporary duplicates

like you and your predecessors,

our precious crew has survived

to reap their glorious reward.

As the final disposables,

you shall have the honor of defrosting them

and wiping them down.

Everything went exactly according to plan.

-[bone cracking] -[Leela yelps]

[? horror sting]

[all exclaiming]

Exactly according to plan.

[? dramatic music playing]

[whirring]

[shuffling, clicking]

[bones crunching]

Each of you is tasked with waking up your original,

then bathing them and anointing them in fragrant oils.

[Fry Number 330] Alrighty.

Huh.

Ooh! Imported wattle cream.

[? wondrous music playing]

Before we wake them up,

could we maybe just take a teensy peek at the new universe?

Certainly not!

Now work those lotions.

The real crew will want to look sharp

for their triumphant departure on the Shuttle Bubble.

The Whuttle Wubble?

[? grand music playing]

[duplicate crew marvel in amazement]

Neat!

And after they leave, what'll we do?

Why, crumble to dust as usual, of course.

But don't worry,

once our heroes bear glorious witness to the newborn universe,

the white hole's expulsive force will propel them home

almost instantly

to bask in the fame and adulation.

And wealth, don't forget the wealth.

Wow, we should all be very honored.

I'm truly proud that I and...

four others like me

have kept this epic schlep running smoothly.

For millions of years, we preserved these champions

that they might attain their moment of glory.

[? soft, poignant music playing]

The hell with them!

[overlapping angry agreement]

Why should they get all the credit

after my Frycestors slaved and shirked for millions of years?!

-[cork pops] -A toast to us,

the real heroes!

Uh, now, just a minute.

That champagne is for the originals.

-You can't- Ow! -[electricity warbling]

-[gulping] -We did the work,

we deserve the glory!

[both slurping]

I mean, technically, we didn't do the work,

but we still deserve the glory.

On their behalf.

[overlapping agreements]

We deserve it.

Move your duplicate butts, people!

We're aging fast.

Live fast and die old,

that's what I always say.

To the unknown!

The only thing worth knowing about.

[gulping]

[? exciting music playing]

We'll take it from here, meatsicles.

[grunting]

[ship zooming]

??

[? mystical music playing]

[The Great Inviter] Welcome, Universe Six-ers.

[duplicate crew] Ooh!

[all] Ah!

Before such beauty, my ass weeps.

[? mystical music continues]

[? music stops]

[The Great Inviter] That everybody?

[? upbeat music playing]

[hammering]

-[hammer thumps] -[groaning angrily]

Ooh, here they come!

[ship zooming]

[Morbo groaning]

The universe waits breathlessly

for the return of our intrepid heroes.

John Williams,

play the Oscar-worthy theme you wrote for the occasion

that sounds just like everything else you ever wrote.

[mechanical arm whirring]

[? epic band music playing]

[air brakes screeching]

[steam hissing]

[? epic music continues playing]

[slab thudding]

-[loud thud] -[? music stops abruptly]

[crew groaning]

Tell us, ambassadors, of your marvelous experiences.

-Spare no detail. -[Leela yawning]

Sock it to us.

Uh, okay, we will.

When do we leave?

You're already back.

-We are? -I'm back, baby?

[crowd murmuring]

[quietly] Mr. President,

I'm afraid something went horribly wrong.

We have no idea what happened because we never even woke up.

Shut up and take your medals!

[? epic band music resumes playing]

[crowd applauding]

[crowd cheering]

[? epic music continues]

[white hole whooshing]

[energy zapping]

??

[? fanfare playing]

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