Original subtitles

Shikha, listen.

Laila has already reached the office.

- Hold on. Hold on. - We can do it! What?

Who is Laila?

Dylan, this is very important.

This has everything you need to know about David and the business.

Everything. Just refer to it.

You just have to charm Laila the same way you charmed all of Gugi's friends.

This is an office. But consider it your stage.

You'll be able to do it, right?

Don't worry. I always have a trick up my sleeve.

Oh, God

Oh, sorry.

We'll cancel the meeting.

Why are you panicking? This is a one-off.

- It won't happen again. - Give me your phone.

- Phone. - We'll take photos of this.

- Okay... - Okay. Here. Phone.

- This... - This isn't a smartphone!

Is a person smart only if he has a smartphone?

Okay. Yeah.

What are you doing?

If you get stuck at any point, read from here.

And if the phone gets locked, the passcode is 1311.

- 1311. - 11.

- Yeah. - 1311.

- Read it. - Yeah. "One..."

Can we make it bigger? It's too small.

Cancel the meeting!

- We'll say that David had a heart attack. - Heart attack?

Is Laila Indian or Eastern European?

- Lay-la or Laila? - Dylan, I will start crying.

Please don't be like one of those actors who incessantly ask questions.

It's my job. I have to prepare myself.

Laila. Laila.

We'll say that it's a Delhi-belly situation.

- Laila. - The foreigner got an upset stomach.

- Laila. - Diarrhea from eating Indian food.

- Say that he's got diarrhea. - Laila...

Laila.

Yes?

- Hi, Laila. - Laila.

Laila, I am David.

Jones. I've been waiting for you.

Ms. Laila.

So, coffee? Tea?

Me?

Coffee.

Coffee.

Sugar?

After all, why would a person as sweet as you ever need sugar?

Tissue.

Better?

Better.

So, Laila, I believe you are quite hands-on.

I prefer a light touch.

More than a light touch, you seem to have a mysterious allure.

There is no sign of you on the internet, news, or legal systems.

But still, you found me.

These girls also keep telling me

that I should have more of a presence on social media.

But I believe a real artist shouldn't try to be seen,

rather, he should find a way into people's hearts.

Artist?

I mean, this isn't business for me.

I think of it more as an art form.

If you have such a philosophical outlook,

why don't you fund their company yourself?

He wants us to be self-made...

So, tell me, Mr. Jones.

What made you leave this very important life of yours and come here?

And, that too for merely two crores?

Well, two crores is a very big amount.

I only need five lakhs.

Hold on.

I am sorry. I will have to take this.

Mr. Jones, I can read your messages.

- No need to tax yourself. - Thank you.

Please. Please.

So... where were we, Laxmi?

Laila.

Of course. Laila. How dare I forget that name?

Forgive me.

You were saying you only need five lakhs?

I did need only five lakhs.

And with that five lakhs, I established my business worth crores.

But the first five lakhs were the most difficult.

Similarly, this sum of two crores is just as difficult for them.

And the answer to your question is tax.

I don't want to exist on the tax map of certain regions.

I am sure you understand.

Forget all that.

The most critical factor to consider in business is its people.

According to me, you are the perfect person

in every way.

Laila.

You are absolutely right.

I am a good judge of people and their intentions.

So I have strict policies against fraud, cheating, and cons.

No tolerance.

Nobody wants to work with frauds.

Are you a fraud?

I mean, I consider you a friend and not a fraud.

And I also believe that I am a great fan of yours.

Because what you have achieved on your own merit,

and you continue to, is commendable.

You are generous with praises.

Will I get answers to my questions now?

I want a fixed repayment plan.

Are you interested in Excel sheets or excellence?

As far as numbers are concerned, our financial wizard Anahita is there.

Right?

And Shikha must have explained our marketing master plan to you.

Of course.

And obviously, you have not called me here for my striking jawline.

You see, Laila,

like you, I also don't trust anybody so easily.

I am wise about the world.

- Were all my decisions correct? - Absolutely not.

But I am nothing in front of these girls.

I am zero, zilch.

The kind of passion, drive, and ambition they have,

I have not witnessed it before.

You asked me why I am not investing.

Because I have already invested in them.

I believe in them.

Now we have to see whether you will invest.

Not in their business...

but in them.

You're a smooth talker, Mr. Jones.

This kind of business isn't my usual style.

But there are special rules for special people.

Because their passion, perseverance, and purpose are quite apparent.

But the icing on the cake is the fourth quality.

Your jawline.

It's quite captivating.

Laila, O Laila!

Now that we have become friends,

I have a favor to ask you.

Two crores at the interest rate of 15 percent

for one year.

This way, we'll get to meet again.

Deal?

Deal.

But I have one condition.

Until the paperwork is completed,

don't run away to Patagonia just yet.

Because I'll keep dropping by,

and we'll keep seeing each other.

Your wish is my command.

But first,

let's make some beer.

Yes!

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Oh. So gorgeous!

O Laila

Oh, my.

It's done.

- Was it okay? - It was too good.

This was as stressful as my board exams.

Had we not been in such a state of panic,

we would have definitely gotten exposed.

I've got to go home now.

I have to go home.

Home sweet home.

Please transfer five lakhs to my account. Okay?

- David. - But, Dylan...

Dylan. Dylan sir. Brother.

We need some more help from you.

Please.

My companion

My eternal partner, all day long

I find myself telling stories That begin with you

My eternal partner, all day long

Life is nothing but the moments I spend with you

My eternal partner, all day long

I find myself telling stories That begin with you

My eternal partner, all day long

Life is nothing but the moments I spend with you

Wow.

Mak, you have found such a beautiful place.

It's quite lovely.

So much better than the photos, Shakes.

Yeah. They don't do any justice.

Dylan, you are a lucky chap.

Home sweet home.

Hello. Hello.

What do you mean by home sweet home?

We had discussed only one meeting.

You shouldn't have flirted so much then.

Now she is smitten by you.

But that was David Jones. It wasn't me.

Exactly. You are a method actor.

So, you will finish what David Jones has started.

- What is in this? - Very smart. Very smart.

You told me it's a role of a lifetime.

But it's become a role for a lifetime.

Dylan, it's a great opportunity for you.

Your career's greatest improv.

You'll reject it? So easily?

Priorities. Fine.

But how can I leave my home alone? It will miss me.

I have never done that.

This is not home.

You are getting it all wrong.

Sit. Come.

Sit for two minutes.

When a soldier leaves his home and goes to the border,

is he really leaving his home?

Or is he saving it?

The salary will be good.

No bank. No builder. No hassle at all.

The dreams that both of you are showing me,

can you put it in writing?

- Yes. - Yes.

- Here. - Of course! Mak.

We solemnly swear to

honor this contract.

Anahita.

Shakes.

Here. I will also sign.

Okay.

No. No. No, Dylan!

You can't do that. You...

As long as you are in Delhi, you have to live as David Jones.

Okay? Completely.

Full-time.

What do you mean?

I mean, this style is the method of method acting.

You must know that.

Don't worry.

Take this.

This has everything. All contacts.

There's a taxi app. If you feel hungry, you can order food.

And if there's any problem at all... group chat?

No. Call us.

It's not a problem. We are there for you.

Anytime you need us, we will be here.

No, but this is a smartphone.

- I... - You are the smartest.

Come on. Don't be very naughty. Okay?

You will be just fine. Okay?

Make yourself at home.

- Bye, Dylan. - Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Home sweet home.

Hey, hey Here we go

- My buddy is my business partner - Here we go

I have such a buddy

My buddy is my business partner

Each moment is going to be merry

Each moment is going to be merry

Sir, consider this brewery as your home.

Here we have our smaller fermentation unit.

That's our Uni fermentation unit.

The best decision is to shift all your production here.

Business partner

My buddy is my business partner

Here we go

This is not a honeymoon hotel. This is my office.

I need it for my meetings.

It's just for a few days. Please.

Our office is almost ready.

I will conduct the meeting on the road then.

Dylan. Dylan. Dylan, this is for you.

I'll pass.

I know, it can be better.

I will try again. I am going to perfect it.

No, no...

My buddy is my business partner

I have such a buddy

My buddy is my business partner

Each moment is going to be merry

For our marketing...

we need like a really big star.

Yeah. Big star.

So I was thinking we will make a small batch

of Jugaaro mineral water.

Like surrogate advertising.

Then he or she, whoever the star is, can promote it.

You know what, Anahita. I have it.

- Yes, Firoo? - You could fully sponsor a fashion show.

A fashion show now!

What planet are you guys on?

I mean, money?

Yes. I just remembered.

You can't afford a showstopper.

Never mind.

Continue with this.

You are saying we can't afford a star, right?

Yes.

- We can't even try? - No.

So I will have to think of something else.

Yes. Absolutely. No questions asked.

- Oh, man! - Means...

It's Jugaaro.

It's a great idea. But we really don't have money.

I know.

- There. There. - Not joking.

This is how the body should flow. Look at this.

If you do it like that, it will look vulgar.

If you stand before me and do it... I mean, what are you even doing?

We don't have a star.

But we can make one.

David freaking Jones.

No freaking way.

Three pigeons have made their nest in my house.

If I don't return home in the next two weeks, they will take over.

Dylan, you are too much.

We can even lay down our lives for you.

Life, no. I just need to go back home.

Just one small thing before that.

No. No.

Just one.

No. No. No.

Girls. Girls.

Are you ready? Presenting to you the new and only...

The Jugaaro takeover.

I am so proud of you.

Get into it!

Speaking of conspiracy, my aunt is out on a morning walk.

And she's found this public art.

So it's on footpaths, it's on buses, it's in marketplaces...

-And it just showed up overnight? - Overnight!

It's become a trend in Delhi that you have to go and stand

and do something in front of it.

It looks like they're doing a "J."

Is it a "J"? I thought it was an "L."

It's a "J" and it looks like a man.

The "J Man."

The J Man?

Rich people just wanna be famous. So, why isn't he showing his face?

Because, dude, he's coming out of really fancy cars

and he's wearing these really fancy suits. So obviously this guy is like loaded.

Do you think it's some Bollywood person trying to make a comeback?

What about cult leader?

- Who is the "J" man? - Who is the "J" man?

- Comment down below who's "J" man. - Yeah.

What is this all about?

Perfect.

Ms. Director.

- I am ready for my close-up. - Oh. Okay.

Let's get into it.

Wonderful

Why are you smelling it?

This is fake beer.

That's how ads are shot.

Or else by the tenth take, you would be all...

You know?

- We don't want that now. - Madam,

- I am a one-take artist. - All tipsy.

- Wow. - Okay.

We will see.

- Let's do this. - Ready? Okay.

And action.

You said my name. You remembered me.

Greetings to all of you from David Jones.

Do you know why I am in India?

To tell you about the greatest gift that India has given to the world.

Ayurveda? No.

Zero?

No.

Butter Chicken?

Well, close, but not quite.

The greatest gift that India has given the world

is... Hack.

So that's why I bring to you

Jugaaro Beer.

Without a hack,

nothing is possible.

IMAGINE J MAN JUST WALKS INTO INDIA GATE ONE DAY

THE INTERNET WILL GO CRAZY

So, this was my hack.

Now, you, you and you.

Show me your hack.

If I like your hack,

I will personally gift you a case of Jugaaro.

So, would you like to meet me?

- Perfect. - Cut.

Finally, girl.

- Was it good? - Very Nice!

Good one, Dylan.

We finally know who "J" man is.

It's David Jones and this is the most viral marketing I've ever seen.

It's absolutely insane.

I'm like wow!

O beautiful girl I roam around just for you

The "What's your Jugaad?" campaign is something they're doing

and it gives you a chance to meet him and some of the hacks,

I'm not going to lie... very sexy.

Yeah! And the other ones...

a little weird.

There's no gas.

But Sahil has come up with a great hack.

See this, this is our hack.

"What's Your Jugaad?"

Hey, guys. This is my friend.

She missed her train,

and couldn't find a cab.

So this is her hack.

What do you think of her hack?

#What'sYourJugaad?

This is my husband's sleeping hack.

Go, Jugaaro!

I love that.

Here's my dad's hack for beating the heat.

I never get sleep on the plane.

So this is my hack.

Can't chop onions without crying.

So here's my hack!

O beautiful girl I roam around just for you

The local guys are fighting to impress you

Every day I drive through your lane

And you keep watching me from your rooftop

From far away, your eyes aim At me full of emotion

- So this is her hack. - Sir,

Jugaaro has got 500K followers.

They are making hilarious reels.

Can't chop onions without crying.

So here's my hack!

Jugaaro.

Cute.

It's just social media hype.

Their cheap Jugaaro cannot harm me.

The beer that we are trying today is called "Jugaaro".

One of the followers actually sent me these two bottles

and asked me to review it for my channel.

But before I try, one interesting thing is

that the image on the bottle has a slight resemblance to me.

With the long hair, the mustache.

Little bit of that medley, Pablo vibes.

Lets try this Jugaaro Beer.

Bit citrusy on the nose, a bit of acidity, let's taste it.

Has that very creamy feel.

That citrus lingers on, it has a long finish.

With a fruity, lemon kick in the end.

It's like a premium craft beer.

Price is equivalent to a lager.

Kudos! You'll have made a good beer.

Do you have Jugaaro?

Jugaaro? Sorry. It hasn't been launched yet.

Oh. When is it going to be launched?

No idea, ma'am.

Soon.

We will be launching soon.

Okay! Thank you.

BOBBY WE WILL KILL IT!

Guys, all set?

Guest list in order?

- It's all sorted. - Superb.

- Sartaj, drinks. Are they chilled? - It's all sorted.

Excellent.

Guests are going to be arriving soon.

Let's be ready.

- Hey, Makujina. - Kabir.

- What's up? - Everything under control?

Always.

Are you good?

I don't know why I am feeling nervous.

Stressed for your baby?

- Nothing like that. - Really?

Don't worry.

Both of us have planned everything.

It's looking good.

Baby, this is a lot.

I can't thank you enough for this.

Of course. Your dreams are my dreams.

- Thank you. - God!

This is so cheesy. Kabir, please, get a room, you guys.

Hey!

You look amazing.

- Thank you. - Excited?

Firoo.

What's up, dear?

You guys are reaping the reward of my hard work.

Your hard work?

Graphics.

Rent-free office.

- Guts, Anahita. - Shut up.

Savor the moment. I can't believe we are actually doing this.

Let's savor the drinks as well.

Oh. So, you can look good.

If you try.

Anyway!

Meet you later, darling.

All of them have come to taste our Jugaaro?

We've made it this far.

Everything will go smoothly from here.

Do I look okay?

Does my hair look oily?

I can change.

No. Don't change anything.

Bobby, Anahita, let's take a picture.

Come. Come. Before I get mobbed.

Yeah. Come on.

Come.

Amazing, Bobby. Suit and all.

Is it your wedding suit?

Let me click a photo. Photo.

Alright.

Great.

What's this? It's like islands and all.

Come closer.

Put your arm around her, man. She won't bite.

Anahita, don't bite.

Okay. Alright.

Jugaaro.

Okay!

That's it. Amazing!

Memories.

- Yes? - Sir, Selfies.

Okay. Come.

Let's go there.

Are you ready for the grand launch

of your favorite craft beer brand...

Jugaaro?

I mean, y'all don't know this.

But I chose this name.

So it's my favorite.

So, are the paps here?

They were the first ones to come, ma'am.

- Oh, nice - Oh! Great. Okay, inform PR, yes?

- I will. - I want lots of photos everywhere.

Shakes, looking goo-- Oh!

- That's Malini Mathur! Blue dress. - Where?

Oh! She wasn't even willing to hear our pitch.

She is heading towards us.

Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

I am Malini.

Anahita. Lovely to meet you.

- This is Shikha. - Shikha.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

What you girls have pulled off here is very interesting.

- Thank you. - Thank you. Thank you so much.

And your marketing campaign... genius.

- That's all her. - Genius.

Thank you.

I am very excited to see if Jugaaro lives up to the hype.

Only the product can convert the hype into legacy.

And we are very sure of our product. So...

- We are super excited. - Yeah.

Why don't you call me sometime?

We would love to.

- Good luck, girls. - Thank you.

- Have fun. - See you soon.

Laila.

Shikha.

Thank you for coming.

- It's a grand launch. - Yes.

You've learned pretty quickly that

in order to earn money in business, you need to spend money too.

I can see that.

Where is David?

Where have you hidden him?

Ever since the launch started, there has been no news of him.

- He is in the green room. - When will I meet him face-to-face?

He is going to go on stage now. So...

I will send him if he is free.

Yes? See you soon.

It will be your favorite in some time too.

Because the iconic David Jones is about to arrive.

We'll have to be a little patient for that.

So enjoy your mocktails.

The beer will flow shortly.

- All set. - You don't need to worry this time.

The prompter will be in front of you.

You just have to read it while emoting.

You are an actor. I don't need to tell you that.

Only read what is written.

Don't add anything else.

- No improv. Got it? - No improv.

You got this.

And now, what I have been waiting for.

After the speech comes the beer.

You have to take a sip with some swag.

- And say, "Jugaaro!" - Jugaaro!

Yeah?

This is real beer.

- I can't have this. No. - He's joking!

- Funny. - Good joke, Dylan.

Guys, it's not a joke. I am serious.

I am a recovering alcoholic.

- You are what? - What?

I've been sober for 20 years.

I haven't even touched alcohol.

- What? - I cannot drink this.

I will get sloshed. From David, I will turn into Dylan.

If I drink, there will be a big problem.

For you, for me, for all of us.

Dylan, why do you always drop a bomb on us at the last moment?

You guys never asked me.

We are a beer company.

You are the brand ambassador.

What is the need to ask you?

Hello. Do all cricketers and actors consume tobacco?

- Come on, man! - There is no connection between

the brand and the artist's habits.

What he said is quite profound, but the timing is wrong.

- This is bad... - You guys made me a brand ambassador.

I came here for one meeting with Laila for one day.

That was the deal.

You guys made me stay here for months.

- How is it my fault? - So is it our fault?

Guys, everybody outside is ready to drink.

If they don't get beer, they will literally drink my blood.

Firoo, you go out. You tell some jokes.

Just handle it. Come on. Get going.

Why do I have to do everything?

- Okay. Okay. We have five minutes. - Yes.

We have to arrange a fake beer

and pack it in our real bottle.

- Hold on. - Bobby, ginger ale.

The way we used it in the ad.

- Guys. Guys. - Ask Sartaj to get it.

- Yes? - Yes?

We have a problem.

- Now what? - What problem now?

Oh, my God. Seriously.

Shit.

This Walia's such a cockroach.

Just keeps emerging from anywhere.

- Sartaj! How will this work? - Bobby.

What is your problem? Don't you understand?

- Is it sorted? - You will kill me.

Guys, what is going on? Is it done?

- Jugaaro! - You explain it to him.

Please do it fast, guys.

- We don't have any more time left. - Hurry up, guys.

- Come on, hurry. - Okay. Wait.

- Yes. - Look...

- Pour it! - Not a bad idea.

- I have poured fake beer... - Yes.

and I have sealed it.

Now watch this.

- It's flat. - So?

It doesn't pop.

What?

- If beer doesn't pop, it's a flop. - What?

He has got a point. It is part of the experience.

But we don't have any time for this experience.

- We have to do it the right way. - The beer needs to launch--

Wait. I'll sing for you.

Jugaaro! Jugaaro!

- Come on, hurry! - Guys, what are you doing?

People are crying after hearing Firoo's jokes.

- Let's go. - We'll drink alcohol

- Guys, there is no time now. - Let's do it.

It's done. That's it.

- Please. - We're running out of time. Quickly.

He is the brand ambassador.

- Have to think of something. - I know, Shakes. But it's our only option.

- Hello, ladies. Girls. - Don't you understand?

I will do it.

Really?

- What? - What?

Dylan, it's okay. You don't have to do it.

I will drink beer.

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together,

for the future of craft beer.

The trailblazing J Man. Mr. David Jones!

Alright, ladies and gentlemen.

Girls and boys.

Now, the moment all of us have been eagerly waiting for.

The birth of our baby...

Jugaaro.

I know the way in which you have all

shown acceptance and love for me.

You will show the same acceptance and love for Jugaaro.

So, let's hear it for...

Jugaaro!

Jugaaro!

Live Jugaaro. Drink Jugaaro.

What's your Jugaad?

- Jugaaro! - Jugaaro!

- Jugaaro! - Jugaaro!

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Yes.

Finally.

The great Mr. David Jones.

- Wow. - Nice to meet you.

Have we met before?

You really look familiar.

I travel a lot. I meet many people.

So I don't think we have met before.

- Excuse me. - Hold on. Hold on.

What's the hurry?

Yes.

Now I remember who you remind me of.

This larger-than-life personality.

This adventurous style.

This jet-set-go lifestyle.

Caught you.

What do you mean by caught me?

There is a lot of difference between real business,

and social media hype.

A person might try hard to copy,

but there can be only one Vikram Walia.

Oh... Vikram Walia. I...

The name strikes a bell. Vikram Walia. Vikram Walia. Excuse me.

You see, an overload of information.

I make notes and keep references.

So don't mind.

Vikram Walia.

Oh, yes. Found it.

Vikram Walia.

Owner of Silver Tusk.

Idiot. Cunning. Cheater.

He makes sewage water. Stole Sunjoy's recipe...

Hey.

How can you take somebody's phone?

Excuse me?

- Hello, excuse me? - Hey...

- Thank you. Thank you for coming. - Thank you.

- Thank you. - Thank you. Thank you so much.

- Thank you. - Girls, don't get angry.

I think I screwed up. He snatched the phone from my hand.

- Who does that? - Phone?

What?

Yes. I have some fans who want to take pictures. Excuse me.

If I want, I can crush you right now.

But I took pity for the sake of my old friend, Sunjoy.

He was my friend.

He had decency.

Dignity.

Grace.

You don't have any of his qualities.

In fact, you are nothing like Sunjoy.

Nothing at all.

Good.

His grace...

You took advantage of that.

If a daughter doesn't learn from her dad's mistakes,

then it's not just a faux pas,

it's foolishness.

And I have learned this one thing.

In order to defeat a bully, you have to become a bully yourself.

Bully?

We plucked the millet ear tenderly

Twisted it off the stalk gently

The millet grain

Twisted it off the stalk gently

We plucked the millet ear tenderly

Sir, ma'am, one photo, please?

Sure.

Twisted it off the stalk gently

We plucked the millet ear tenderly

Ready for a fight, sweetheart?

I thought you would never ask.

Twisted it off the stalk gently

People try to clash With me like they're hyped up

Now look, my name is known In every street

These guys don't really know me closely