Original subtitles

Are you bleeding anywhere?

I'm the one you call when shit goes wrong.

I am your best friend on your worst day.

And all of the shit you're about to see happen to a real, actual paramedic.

Somebody got to go to the hospital with that.

You'll pay for work, not mine.

ABC's police were ambulance before cruise.

Please be disturbing the peace.

Please be disturbing the peace.

Come on.

Police.

OD.

That's all y'all suckers.

Shit.

You want to get the stretcher?

Gladly.

Is she dead?

She's not dead.

I ain't.

Not dead.

What do we assess first?

ABC's.

There's these, um, airway, breathing, circulation.

Yes.

First thing.

That's what we check.

Do you understand that?

Yes.

ABC's.

Oh, man.

Go, go, go.

Do you know what the treatment is for a dirty needle stick?

Chemo.

Same as for a cancer patient.

72 hours flat on your back and puking.

A year's worth of HIV tests.

All right.

Now.

Oh, you killed your motherfucker.

I should mention at this point that you're all going to die.

Heart attack, car accident, murder, cancer, diabetic shock, pork in the

toaster, or peanut allergy, rich, poor, old, young.

Sometimes they don't find you for days.

You'll be dead too one day and sooner than you think, because guess what?

It all ends.

You're the movie of your life but when you're starring

in, one day that movie just ends and you're gone.

Remember what it was like before you were born?

It'll be just like that forever.

But sometimes, for the people like me, you get a little borrowed time.

Look man, first of all, I know you grew in there fucking fast.

God damn you fast.

I know who had a fucking gun.

I don't fucking kill this batch for this.

Yeah, shot at us.

You idiot.

You're one full-time gun.

You run.

Fucking ugly ass motherfucker.

Leave it on your ear man.

Randy man, you okay?

I'm fine.

It's gonna be all right, okay man?

We're not gonna let you die.

Seriously, you say that one more time.

I'm gonna punch you in the throat.

We never say that to a patient, ever.

Sorry.

What was that?

This is Narcan.

It kicks the heroin off of the narcotic receptors.

This one just paid a lot of money to get higher than

Jimi Hendrix, and we're about to take that away from her.

Like that.

Okay, um, you know what?

I wouldn't sit there if I were you.

Fine.

Because of the puke.

What the fuck?

What did she eat?

You stole my heart, motherfucker!

You're welcome.

You're life is safe.

Take you to the hospital now, ma'am.

Please take them down.

Settle down.

Hey, hey, calm down!

You need to calm down!

Oh shit!

We're out of strength!

Calm down!

Oh shit!

Oh no no no!

No no no!

Are you kidding me?

Shut me with a dirty meal!

You shit!

Hey, it's my break!

No!

No!

No!

I knew it!

I knew it!

No!

No!

Okay, hold it down!

You crazy man!

No!

No!

Oh shit!

Hey, sit down with the oxygen!

Freeze!

What are you doing?

No!

No!

I said get over here!

What happened?

What?

We administered oxygen?

Yes, and then the patient needed to be restrained, thereby possibly resulting in

some self-administered bruising.

Is that your medical opinion?

I'm sorry, what medical school did you go to again, doctor?

Not a doctor.

Sorry?

Not a doctor.

That's right!

You're not a doctor.

So what do you say we leave the diagnosing of the patients to the real doctors, huh?

I've got a dirty needle stick in the ambulance,

so if you'd please write me a prescription.

What a shit problem!

You are unbelievable!

Your time is a nice clean hospital.

Doctor, while I'm out there on the streets, bombing it on, having to kill,

it's smelling like a hobo, shat in my mouth!

And one day, I've been...

shot at...

thrown up on and strangled, and we still have... eleven hours left in the shift.

Have you guys seen this every day?

It's our job.

Your job sucks!

Yeah, this sounds real shitty when you say it like that.

You know, I can't go back on that any once, okay?

I quit.

Sorry, Mom.

Now there goes a future doctor.

That's bullshit!

You can't talk while I intubate it.

I see you've certainly put in your time as a paramedic.

Well, I imagine insurance sounds pretty boring,

but we do work under some pretty tight timetables.

How are you handling stress?

Well, I'm a paramedic.

So...

I'm always stressed.

So why are you choosing insurance?

Well, I think that with my many years of experience as a medical provider,

that transitioning to another kind of medical, or

healthcare field, I could bring beneficial experience.

Beneficial how?

Well, I think that being a paramedic is really important work.

And, you know, honesty, I got into EMS because I really wanted to help people.

But the reality is, we hardly ever help anybody.

We're just kind of a mop-up crew for the

worst tragedies in people's lives, you know?

And, man, I have seen stuff.

Dead bodies don't even register.

I've seen millions of dead bodies.

Body parts, I've seen arms and faces ripped off.

And, man, that image gets scarred into your

brain for the rest of your life, and I'm tired.

I'm tired.

I just, I show up to work first thing in the morning and my first thought is,

fuck everybody.

And given the opportunity, I would set fire on that ambulance.

Because it's broken.

Bruce, it's broken.

The whole system is fucking broken.

And it's sinking, and I'm out there with a thimble trying to bail it out.

If I make one mistake, someone could die.

And you want to know my experience?

I'm burning out.

I'm burning out.

I'm burning out.

I'm burning out.

I need the hell out of EMS.

Before I fuck up and kill somebody.

Uh, do you have any other questions?

22, are you 10-8 yet?

Negative.

Waiting on hospital paperwork.

Waiting on paperwork.

They are over there hitting on those nurses.

That's the bullshit.

22, get moving.

There you go, man.

Put that back there.

Oh, hey, Shanice.

Hey.

Hey, Randy.

How'd you enjoy your week off?

Oh, yeah, great.

All the fun of cancer without the cancer.

Yeah, I had a needle-stinkle once.

I remember.

The junkie behind the chicken place with the hair.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, I was riding with you.

That's right.

Listen, um...

Can you take me off the schedule?

Please.

You gotta cut down my hours.

Somehow, really, I'm in...

I'm in terrible shape, Shanice.

Shanice, listen.

I'm not okay.

Randy, I am sorry.

But I am sure to hear that I don't have anybody else.

So you're in 42 with Mike.

Come on.

Why are we sticking with Mike?

Because he's the only one that can put up with you.

You may not know this, but you're not very good at interpersonal relations.

And I hope that's not a shock to you, because you know what?

I've rolled with you for two years, but you break

most of these people within two or three months.

Oh, come on.

That's not true.

That's not fair.

Lots of people like riding with me.

But Kim, you like riding with me, right, Kim?

You do so like riding with me.

She likes riding with me.

Shanice, we're only gonna get a raise.

Oh, baby, I would love to give you a raise, and as soon as the government ups

our reimbursement, that's when you will get you a raise.

Oh, and by the way, Randy, you have another student.

No.

Uh-uh.

There's no way.

No.

You are senior.

You hit the student.

Is there another paramedic I should put them with?

Somebody better than you?

Nobody's better than me.

That's what I thought you'd say.

Oh, come on, baby, don't do it like that.

You know, I mean, it doesn't work.

But I'll get off just a second.

No, no, not p.m.

A.m.

I can get off just a second.

Very good.

You know, I need you for 45 minutes.

More than enough time.

You know?

Mm-hmm.

About 15 months.

You know, I like that.

Randy said, I'll cut you back.

Look at this old creaky bitch.

You know you ain't got like 10-somethings left.

You know what?

Don't start with me.

I haven't even had breakfast yet.

Mike, you gonna let me drive today?

Uh, no.

Okay, I drive.

You know that.

Come on.

No!

Come on.

Look, I will.

You heal.

Why do you want to accept that that's your order thing?

Look, we got a student today, too.

I know.

I'm hoping we can pull out before that dipshit shows up.

Dipshit's already here.

Oh, fuck what?

Poor Jessica.

Uh-huh.

Randy.

Hey, Randy.

Thanks for having me.

Hey, you know something?

You seem pretty smart.

I'll get you on the top of your pyramid of class and everything, ain't you?

Pretty smart.

I'm smart, too.

We can't recognize gang.

Okay.

Listen up.

We work a 24-hour shift from 7 a.m.

to 7 a.m.

You really want to spend 24 hours in this hot box with two sweaty dudes?

Yep.

You're going to see things that you can't un-see.

I'm sorry.

Did I make a mistake?

Because I asked you to set me up with the best because I want to learn from the best.

So, am I in the wrong truck?

Or... Okay.

All right.

You want to tag along fine, but here's what you're going to do.

Nothing.

You are going to do nothing.

You're going to touch nothing.

You are going to say nothing unless I instruct you to.

You understand?

This is not a democracy.

It's a dictatorship.

Okay?

What I say goes.

Period.

End of story.

All right, dictator.

Let's hit it.

What the hell?

We're supposed to be saving lives and you're getting a latte?

Hey, we don't get lunch breaks or bathroom breaks.

We've got 24 hours ahead of us.

We've got to grab what we can, when we can, and right now I am starving.

Hey, do you guys really have to bark like this?

I mean, take it up like three fucking spots.

We've parked that way in case we have to leave quickly in an emergency, sir.

You know what?

All you people do is tie a trap.

You know what I mean?

You should get a fucking real job.

How about that?

Hey, bitch, shit.

We do have a real fucking job.

What do you do with this plastic ass mane bag?

Kevin, I'll go back to rain on that motherfucker.

Chew out, man.

I'd like to cheer the fucker.

You cheer the fucker, asshole.

Yeah, you poor man.

I'm not chilling.

Fucking handlebar mustache, bitch.

Yeah, I'm sorry, mama.

Uh, coffee and a muffin?

No, you don't mind?

Two muffins.

One chocolate, one blueberry.

Two muffins, one coffee that is... 10.25.

Um... Free coffee for heroes.

Free coffee for firemen and policemen.

I'm a paramedic.

I'm a paramedic.

Sorry.

Oh, that's your boy Johnny.

He's wearing clothes today.

You know something?

I bet you he's not.

20 bucks.

20 bucks, or he's gonna be a good ass, Nicky.

Oh, no way.

20 dollars.

Bet you right now.

I'm in.

You're paying for my lunch today.

Because he's gonna be fucking badass.

Let's do this.

Let's do it.

Come on, big money.

Okay.

Hey, student of the year, what do you think?

You in?

Ball's in or out?

Ball?

I'm Satan, and his only message is out.

Ah, there you have it.

It's a draw.

Shirt, no pants.

What are you talking about?

That's bullshit, okay?

I can see his dick.

They qualify.

He's not naked.

How do you call that naked?

He's wearing his shirt.

Shirt, no pants.

It's like, uh... Winnie the Pooh.

I guess Winnie the Pooh got his dick up because I can see Winnie the Pooh's dick.

How do you bring him to his ass over here?

Leave this place!

Leave now!

I am Satan, and his only messenger.

Man, as greedy as fuck, you cannot be Satan and his only messenger.

Just pick one, okay?

Too many fucking jobs.

I'm Satan, and his only messenger.

Okay, you know what?

Have some breakfast.

But, leave people alone.

Lay low, okay?

I'm gonna poke the defibrillator up to your face.

Do you understand?

Hey, look, it don't matter.

Put some fucking pants on and get your ashy leprechaun ass removed.

Nobody wanna see that shit.

Satan goes!

County is Medic 42.

We are available.

No patient on scene.

Repeat, no patient on scene.

What are you hearing?

You're just debating your patient.

You can lose your license.

That is not a patient.

That is Johnny.

If he was actively schizo, he'd be pulling out his

hair and biting his lips until they've laid it.

That's what Johnny does when he's not on his meds.

Right now, Johnny's acting this way, because he's hungry.

Oh, he's hungry.

Yeah, the guy wagging his dick around.

Yeah.

He's hungry.

He wants us to take him into the ER, where they

have to give him a meal before they let him go.

Because the ER has no choice.

They legally can't turn anyone away.

Now, we could bring him in for his ER happy meal, but guess what?

There's a shit ton of paperwork involved.

So it's a lot easier for me to just skip the middleman and give him my breakfast.

And I'm starving.

So just to recap, your medical solution is muffins.

I sacrificed my delicious muffins for the good of humanity.

Mike, let's roll.

Why are you here?

Because I want to save lives.

Was that funny?

Save lives.

Do you think we saved lives?

Oh, now we just gave a dude muffins.

Yeah, I used to want to be a hero, but the fact is, we're not heroes.

The fact is that most of the calls that we get are bullshit.

The people that need us don't call, and the people that call don't need us.

People live, people die, you rarely make any kind of difference whatsoever.

This is a job.

Okay?

You clock in, you clock out, and at the end of the day, you go home.

That's it.

I don't think you really believe that.

No, I do.

I do.

I really, really do.

I do shit, too, if you want to last.

But you have people's lives in your hands.

How can you not care?

How can you not give a shit?

Caring is what kills you.

The fact is, most people on this job can't last a year.

They can't hack it.

And the good ones, the really, really good ones?

Five years.

Five years max.

That's all they can handle.

How long have you been doing it?

18 years, nine months.

All right, class president, this one's for real, so pay attention.

You're with me.

Grab the bag.

Don't touch anything.

Nothing.

Got it?

But then why am I... I'm scared.

I answer questions after the fact.

The window pun.

All right, head of our class.

What do we assess first?

Careway, breathing circulation.

Breathing, but it's rapid deep breaths.

Koozmalls?

Wait, am I right?

Ricky, get out the way.

What's going on here?

You got Koozmalls, possible broken everything.

What about you?

I'm lame with his little shit cover.

She's all right.

All right, grab your collar, will you?

Okay, I got you.

Get out the way.

All right, you grab me a non-rebreather.

You just said not to touch anything.

And now I'm asking you to touch a non-rebreather and bring it to me.

Wait, no, no.

Flaw, don't run!

You got this, hero.

Oh, shit, he's in good favor.

You, I need you to do CPR.

Now, let's go.

Go!

No, no, no, no, that's a good thing.

That's a good thing.

Don't stop, okay?

That means you're doing it right.

Yeah, I can fix broken.

I can't fix dead.

Come on!

Mom, are we going to shock him?

No, we're going to wax his chin.

Yes, we're going to shock him.

We're charging.

Hello, hello, hello.

We've got a approximately 40-year-old male, two-car MBA, restrained driver,

severe damage to the vehicle, 10-minute extrication, cruise malls at first,

but once we got him out, went apnic and beat bit, been

shocked three times last time I was on the drive here.

Now, asystolic.

Ready?

One, two, three.

Pupils are fixed and dilated, fractured right arm, and depressed skull fracture.

Hold, hold, hold, please.

He's asystolic.

You said it was traumatic.

Did you ever get a pulse back?

No.

No, no.

Time of death, 1029.

Oh, God, you got to be shitting me.

Is that mud?

Well, nice job, Dr. Randy.

Just track all the mud and bacteria you wanted in my ER.

What happened?

The doctor just called it, that's it?

Yes, that's it.

Dude was dead when he got there.

Okay, well, if you thought he was dead, then why did you make me do CPR?

Because nobody dies in an ambulance.

What do you mean?

It's an ambulance.

Nobody dies in the ambulance.

It's a legal nightmare.

Once we start working on you, we're not allowed to declare you dead.

Only a doctor or coroner can do that.

So even if he has zero chance of making it, even if we're just pumping blood

through the corpse, we cannot declare him dead.

Now, he can be dead before we show up, he can be dead once we drop him off,

but never, ever in between.

That doesn't make any medical sense.

It's not medicine.

It's health care.

Welcome to EMS.

No!

God damn it!

Stay!

No, girl!

Hate my daughter, you motherfucker!

God damn it!

Children can hear you.

Fine, good.

Do you have a dollar?

What I understand is, if you hate your job so much, why don't you just quit?

Because I like to eat, and I don't like to sleep in the gutter.

So get another job?

Like what?

Like airline pilot?

Listen, I've tried.

I am stuck here, okay?

Work at the hospital.

All I'm qualified to do is change bed bands and wipe asses.

My training doesn't mean shit here.

Go to med school?

Forget it.

Now, by the time I finish, it will be time for me to retire.

Okay.

Wait, what?

No, God!

I hate you!

No, no, no, God!

Okay.

Christ, you're like my heart's coming out of my asshole.

Hey, hey, what's the matter?

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I've never attacked?

No, just stop that guy.

Okay, so it's a panel guitar?

No, it's not.

Why don't you take some slow, deep breaths?

Uh, hello.

Paramedic.

Are you okay to walk like this?

I'm gonna be fine.

I just...

I just need some time.

You don't understand.

You know, when I was 13, my mom and my sister

and I went camping in the middle of nowhere.

And my mom really liked cold chicken, so we were eating cold chicken on the

picnic table with some potato chips, and my mom got a piece stuck in her throat.

And I didn't know the height and length or anything.

So right there, in that dumb campground, my mother died.

And I just watched.

That's why I'm...

I'm gonna tell you something that I wish someone had told me a long time ago.

Run away from this job as fast as humanly possible, or you will end up like this.

Uh, hello, this is Randy.

Okay.

Okay.

Do you think you can't believe it?

I'm not gonna get paid to fuck those kids.

You just don't need to worry to be fine.

Who the fuck am I?

Would you please stop?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

You're already doing great.

Ha ha ha ha!

I quit!

I got a new job!

I'm quitting!

That's it!

I'm done!

I'm done!

I got a new job!

I can't believe... I totally thought that I blew the interview, but, apparently,

they love my honesty, so that's it!

I'm out of here!

Shanice, you've been amazing, it's not you.

Really thanks to you.

The best supervisor, I'm really thank you.

I don't need to give you two weeks, do I?

I don't think I can stay here another two weeks.

I can't do two weeks notice.

Please, they need me to start on Monday.

Come on, please.

I can't believe it.

Honestly, I didn't know that I could feel happy.

Hello, are you still here?

Yes, I'm still here.

Can we read up on the rubber gloves, high poles, and normal saline?

Hang on.

Randy, I did not say you could quit.

And you have to finish your shift.

Excuse me.

Okay!

We arrive!

We arrive!

I love to smell nursing home in the morning.

How you doing?

Hmm, not for lunch.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Sorry?

This happiness is making me uncomfortable.

It's actually kind of freaking me out.

Yeah, it's a little unnerving.

Well, in eighteen more hours, I am done with EMS forever.

Uh, hi.

Hello.

What took you so long?

She really took us along.

We got here in six minutes.

That's two R&B zones.

Six minutes.

We can't get here faster than six minutes.

What the fuck do you think we got to tell her?

Uh, where's the patient?

Alright, look, just, just follow me.

This way.

Come on.

Let me give this up.

She's been having a little trouble breathing lately.

Defined lately.

Maybe what's your assessment?

Well, she's cyanotic, appears to have lividity in her professional opinion.

She's dead.

You've got to do something.

Do something?

What?

CPR?

She's dead.

Got a better chance of reviving the nightstand.

You've got to try.

No, we're not touching her.

Uh-uh.

Alright.

I'm getting the charge nurse.

You get the charge nurse if you won't use it.

Is the charge nurse a magician?

Because that's the only way this lady has come back alive.

With magic!

Waste of time.

Look at the new view she was dead.

No offense.

I am offended.

Hey, Kelly.

Medic 42?

Medic 42, this is County.

Go ahead.

Kelly, we need a coroner.

There was D.O.A.

on the scene, and we're dead about a paperwork.

Copy, 42.

Contacting coroner.

What do you mean coroner?

What's going on here?

Your patient is assuming room temperature.

I declared her dead.

The coroner is coming, and we are going to leave.

How do you know she's dead?

What are her vitals?

You won't know her vitals.

If you must know, zero pulse, zero blood pressure, zero respirations.

I'm all zero.

Would you like to know her blood sugar?

She was just fine when I checked on her a few minutes ago.

A few minutes ago, really.

Shake her hand.

Go over and shake her hand.

Do it.

I'm good.

Mike?

Look.

Look!

I'm dead.

Damn she cold.

You know why she's fucking cold?

Because this is ringing.

Because she's dead.

This type of stiffness, don't take a few minutes.

We talked for five or six hours.

You can iron your clothes on, that's how stiff she is.

Step us aboard.

Can I be honest with you?

You're probably the worst nurse I've ever fucking met.

This is totally unacceptable.

I'm calling your supervisor.

Oh, please do.

That would be hysterical.

In the meantime, I suggest you get Mrs. Pusselli on ice.

She's starting to add to the lovely aroma around here.

I smell good, people.

Hello.

Nursing home ladies screaming at me on the other line.

These people are idiots.

They had a patient there that was dead for hours.

You have got to deal with this mess.

It's my last day, Shanice.

It's not my last day.

If you finish your shit, we'll see if it's your last day.

Really?

Oh no, this is definitely my... I said what I said.

Fuck.

So Carol, if you were assessing that patient, would you classify them as a lie?

I see.

No, no, no, you're right.

I don't have a nursing degree.

I was trained as a paramedic.

Let me ask you something, Carol, since you deal with elder care.

My grandmother died 12 years ago at the age of 99.

We buried her next to my grandfather at that cemetery out by the airport.

You know what I'm talking about?

Let me ask you this.

If you and I were to go out there together right now and dig

up my grandmother's corpse, do you think you could revive her?

Because that makes about as much sense as what you're saying to me right now.

Your patient was dead, bitch.

And your people didn't realize it for five or six hours.

That is called meniligence.

Would you thought you'd just call 911 and cover your asses?

Is that it?

Well, how about you and I call your administrator and go over this incident

point by point and see which one of us still had a goddamn job by the end of the day?

Oh, you're suddenly okay?

We're clear now, Carol?

Great.

Well, if you have any more problems, my name is Shanice.

You call me immediately.

You got that?

Damn right.

God, I'm so hungry.

Mike, find the taco truck or something.

My stomach is eating itself.

I got you.

That's all you have to say.

You didn't really quit, did you?

Yeah, I did.

No, you didn't.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

Let me say this.

Okay.

Randy has been in this way too long.

Okay, AMS is not supposed to be working this long.

He's going to get out there in a real world.

What the fuck are you talking about?

I wouldn't know how to function out there.

I mean, you know how to function out there.

You did them right, I do.

Yeah.

I function well out there too.

Because I'm a normal fucking person.

I go home, I take a shit, then I take a shower, then I put them a coat,

then I pick up my lady, we go to dinner, then we come back home, and we fuck, okay?

That is called being a part of society.

You, on the other hand, would not survive one day in the real world.

Because he ain't did shit.

He don't do nothing besides this.

What last time you been on the date?

What was the last time you washed your fucking sheets?

No.

Where are you going to work?

I'm working in an insurance company.

What?

You don't work in insurance, please.

Man, you can't work in fucking Subway.

I can work, I can too work in Subway.

You got to deal with customers to work in Subway.

I can deal with customers.

Oh, you could.

I'm a customer.

Okay, you ready?

Yeah, I want a thing, you know, the bill.

Hello, sir, are you having a nice day?

I'm having a great day.

I'd like a sandwich for lunch.

Would you like a six inch or a foot long?

Okay, I want a six inch vegetarian, sir.

Okay, okay, all week with chicken.

Okay, that doesn't make it a vegetarian, sir, if you have chicken, though.

No, I would like, like I said, a six inch vegetarian, sir.

Only with chicken.

I'm sorry, sir, we can't do that because that's not a vegetarian, so.

Motherfucker, it is.

If you have chicken, if you have chicken on it, it is not a vegetarian.

That's not vegetarian.

There are rules here, sir.

There are rules.

Whatever the fuck I want, all right?

I want an orange panther with grape juice in it.

You can serve your own drink, sir.

Here's your cup.

Go to the drink station.

What type of racist shit is that?

Fuck that.

I'm calling corporate.

B-B-School, B-B-Corporate.

Hey, this dude ain't ready to work at the subway as an asshole, okay?

He trying to make me make my own fucking drink.

Also, this is the black man calling, so you know what that's about.

Back.

Fire.

Shit.

All right.

Well, you know what?

I'm not working at the subway, so win-win.

Back break, kid.

No, come on.

No, don't take it.

No, no, no, no, mate.

Wait.

Oh, man, that's a job.

42 is here.

Go ahead.

Yeah, I hope this patient is dead so I can eat.

I'm gonna be a taco.

Hey, hey, sir.

Sir, excuse me.

We just want to take a look at it.

Yeah, hey.

What?

Hey, sir, why don't you go ahead and get on the ground so we can help you out, okay?

Oh, come here.

Should I take my helmet off?

No!

No.

No.

No.

No.

You had a little too much to drink this afternoon?

Slow at all.

I'll be right back.

I'm gonna get the rest of you, quick.

Hold C-spine, please, madam.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Hello there.

My name's Randy.

We're gonna be taking you to the hospital today.

What's your name?

My name's Matt, or Matthew.

Hey, Matthew.

I'm just wondering if you... You and Randy call me Matt, actually.

Okay, Matt.

Matt, it is.

Any other pain anywhere?

It's like a little headache, but I don't think it's a big deal back.

Not a doc paramedic.

Can you tell us a little bit about what happened?

Uh, yeah.

I crashed my phone.

Oh, okay.

Okay, yeah.

We just want to hold you real still.

Real still.

I don't have to go to the hospital, do I?

Because I don't have insurance.

Matt, don't worry about that, okay?

They're just gonna send you a soul-crushing bill later on.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, I'm a nurse.

Excuse me.

I'm a nurse.

I saw the ambulance and figured you'd need help.

Let's get this helmet off.

You don't have to do that.

Lady, I don't want to be mean to you.

Could you remind me of my auntie?

But leave us the fuck alone.

Is this, like, a terror war or something?

I need you to bandage his eyes.

What's wrong with my auntie?

Eyes.

Both eyes.

Why are you the first one?

Not a democracy.

Both eyes.

This doesn't make any sense.

Why would I do that?

Both eyes.

And do you guys know what you're doing?

Because, like, it sounds like you don't agree.

Oh, we know exactly what we're doing.

Let him see out of his good eye.

Haggard!

Escort this lady out of my presence immediately.

What?

Out?

Let's go.

I'm not leaving my patient!

No, this is my patient!

Mine!

Sir, I'm just trying to understand.

Are you happy about both eyes?

What did I say?

Not in front of the patient.

Not in front of the patient.

D-tater, remember?

D-tater.

Yeah.

D-tater.

I can hear you guys.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Matt.

Mattie, 42-year-old, male.

Matt, you're conscious.

I'm not alert.

E-T-O-H on board.

Penetrating injury to his right eye.

As far as we can tell, no neuro involvement.

Vitals are stable.

No S-O-B.

Are there injuries detected?

Well, that wasn't interesting at all.

Because to me, what I'm seeing here is a stick in the eye.

What?

I'm sorry, sir.

Your eye, it's jelly.

Oh, man.

Well, I can sew it up and I can give you an eye patch.

That's the best I can do for you, though.

You can thank your friends and EMS.

I did everything right.

Get out of my ER.

My guy's a dick.

No, no, no.

This is a big... No, no, no.

Wide-balled eyes is a perfectly reasonable question.

Listen, our patient is very confused, and he needs

to know that we know what the fuck we're doing.

Stop asking questions in front of him like a fucking five-year-old.

Hey, you know what?

I came here to learn from you, because I thought you would still need to teach me.

I said you could be all this bullshit about how Daniel

lives doesn't matter, because you are dead inside.

You are everything I don't need.

I mean, what kind of... Are you dated?

Are you with the tough guy?

What's wrong in the eyes?

The brain.

Right.

And do we want that stick moving around carving up the brain?

No, we don't.

We do not.

Right?

How many eyes do we have?

Come on.

How many eyes do we have?

We have two.

Do they work independently?

Yeah.

Or when I move, the other one follows.

You have it, Daniel.

How far does that stick back there?

We don't know.

Is it digging up the brain?

We don't know.

Our job is to stop the trauma and get him into the ER as soon as possible.

Listen.

The problem I'm in an accident scene, is everyone is so

amped up in full of adrenaline, they get tunnel vision.

They're just looking at the one problem.

They're not seeing the big picture.

Our job, while everyone else is freaking out, is to take a deep breath,

step back, and see the whole thing.

You're right.

Sorry?

You're right.

I didn't think about that.

Thank you.

Uh... Okay, uh...

And I shouldn't have questioned you for the patient.

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

Are we good?

Yeah.

Yeah, we're good.

Could I

get a burger before I drop down?

Now, did you put that dipshit in this place?

No.

Because he was right and I was wrong.

Okay, look, Randy could be an asshole sometimes, you know.

Okay, yes, he's an asshole all the time.

But there's nobody else I would ride with other than him.

Jesus!

What the hell, man?

What are you... You're in the bar.

The pedestrians have the right to be almost killed me, dude.

You don't end up like that.

Oh, you're still a bad ass.

Get out!

Hey, hey, hey.

Can we go?

Please?

I'm hungry.

Okay.

Now, let's go feed this motherfucker.

Stop!

Okay.

What?

What you doing is fucking disgusting.

I'm hungry.

What you mean you're hungry?

You don't see just putting shit in your mouth?

You're eating like a fucking Pac-Man.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't even want to eat that one.

You do... I don't lost my appetite watching you eat.

Are you sure that I'm going to have a real lunch hour?

One hour.

Every single day.

I'm going to work with you nine to five.

I'm going to go home with you guys.

I'm... Excuse me.

Are you an ambulance driver?

I've had it.

Okay, wait.

Can I just have a few more questions?

Can I just have like ten more minutes and

then I'll answer whatever questions you have.

One thing super quick.

What's the worst thing that you've ever seen?

Why do people always ask me that?

I mean, I get that there's a morbid fascination, but...

I mean, why do they ask me that?

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?

Do you want to think about that right now?

I sure don't.

I have seen some terrible things.

I know things that you do not want to know.

I know what brains smell like.

Brains have a distinct smell.

Do you know that?

Sometimes I smell it when I come out of the ambulance.

And I know, right then and there, you better watch my step.

I'll slip and fall in some poor dead soul's memories.

Do you know what's in there?

A dead two-year-old.

She got decapitated by the seatbelt upon impact.

Do you want to look in there?

Do you want that image seared into your brain forever and ever?

Well, someone's got to look inside.

Someone's got to have that image in their brain for the rest of their lives.

I'm not somebody.

That's not even the worst thing I've seen.

We get a call.

Unknown medical.

Neighbors complaining about smells.

Go to the apartment, meet the woman.

She seems totally normal.

Apparently, she's suffering from postpartum depression.

So I ask her, where's the baby?

Where is the baby?

Sure enough.

There it is.

In the microwave.

And its face was like melted cheese.

Oh my God.

That is the worst thing I've ever heard in my life.

I know.

I ordered it medium rare.

Come on.

Come on.

Hey, come on.

Don't be like that.

You want the dough?

Do I hear chicken sandwich?

Are you going to finish that?

So, there wasn't actually a baby in the microwave.

See, that's what it is.

You still in Utah, it is.

And you ain't seen shit yet.

Like, nothing.

Not at all.

You still got all that resiliency.

You got the emotional reserves in the bank.

You got all that in there.

When bad shit happens, you still got that cushion inside.

But when you've been doing this long enough, you run out of those reserves.

But you keep doing it.

Oh, hell no.

Shit, I'm going to law school in six months.

What?

Yeah.

Why law school?

You know who gets fucked overboard in anybody in this country?

Hard-working people.

Hard-working people.

That's a pretty good example of my mom.

She passed two years ago of cancer.

And two years before that, she went to the

hospital because she knew something was wrong.

You know, they checked her out.

The insurance covered that.

They diagnosed her.

The insurance covered that.

But when it came to actually helping her, they

told her she didn't have the right policy.

She did her best.

She was calling the insurance company and arguing and fighting.

But as she was doing that, the cancer spread.

And she died.

But even about the doctors at that point, she needed a lawyer.

Look, I want to help people.

That's why I became EMS.

You know, it want to make a difference.

And I don't feel like that's what we're doing, man.

Also, I would love to not make minimal wage anymore.

I'm broke as fuck.

I'm thinking about this shit harm and warming up later.

I don't have a goddamn thing.

You know, it's nighttime now, so it's... I think it really weird.

Weird.

Weird.

Shit, man.

It's the president.

This is what happened last time.

So that is why we got to get him in the ambulance

peacefully, or he will get the living shit out of us.

But he sounds like he needs to be in a psychiatric facility.

No, no, no, no, no.

He's a sweetheart, man.

He don't mean any harm, you know?

That's usually when he's on his meds now.

His office meds are a different story, plus it's the end of the month.

And what happens at the end of the month?

Well, look, the system give him 20 pills a month, right?

But it's 30 days in a month.

What have you been trying to do with those other 10 days?

He loses his shit.

Who actually makes it to the end of the month?

Sometimes he don't.

Right now we're lucky people.

So we're not calling P.E.

No, but look, Charlie is a 6'6 black man with mental health issues.

Would you call the police?

It might kill the lights.

We don't want to set him off any more than he already is.

I'm the President of the United States!

I hate the end of the month.

Hey, you have all your teeth?

Yeah.

Then you're going to want to stay about... Oh, I don't know.

That far back?

All right, come in.

All right, look.

You all ready?

Ready?

Okay, I'm going to knock it.

Secret Service!

Hey, Mr. President, little old girl.

Secret Service, man.

We're here to evacuate you and take you to the White House.

We're about the First Lady and the Vice President.

We're going to send a second chopper.

We're not leaving anyone behind.

Okay.

It's time to see the Secret Service.

Sir, please, please, come, come, come, come.

Come on.

Stay low, stay low.

Watch for snipers, sir.

Right this way, sir.

Right this way.

Here we go.

No.

No.

It's the chopper.

Hey, show him it is the chopper, late.

It's the chopper, it's right here, sir.

Right this way.

Come on, man.

It's good.

All right.

We got to move the present to way behind, sir.

Shit.

Hey, hey.

Officer, excuse me.

We've got this totally under control.

Okay, this is a patient of ours.

We're having an episode right now.

There's no reason to panic a lot.

We're just kidding.

We've got to call.

Just back up, all right?

We've got to call.

We've got to check in on that.

Calm down, all right?

Just back up.

Back in.

Just relax until we get you.

I know you are, but you've got to stay calm down.

I'm the President!

I'm the President!

I'm the President!

Calm down now!

Back up!

He's not a danger!

Calm down!

Calm down!

Calm down!

Calm down!

Calm down!

Mr. President,

I see you, okay?

I see you and I got you.

But you've got to calm down, okay?

I won't give you anything to happen to you.

I won't let nothing happen to you.

Just calm down.

Okay?

Okay.

Hey, as you can see, he's calmed down, okay?

I'm EMS.

The ambulance right there.

I know where we got him, okay?

He just happened to have an episode today.

All right?

Put the guns down, all right?

Please.

Hey, look at me.

Thank you.

This way.

She's going to belt you in, okay?

We can't take off until you get you belted in, okay?

I'm going to probably do the same.

I'm going to probably do the same.

I'm going to probably do the same.

Kid, you can do the IV.

I can't get it.

I'm going to probably do the same.

I'm going to probably do the same.

Randy, can you do me a favor, maybe keep the president calm for a little bit?

Yeah, I'm on it.

Kelly, ER is Medic 42.

Can I get a physician up?

Copy.

Stand by.

Doctor's permission to administer a sedative.

This is Doctor Serrano, one.

Doctor Serrano, this is paramedic Randy.

Currently inroads to your facility.

An emergent psychiatric patient was uncontrollable to see and actively

fighting the restraints of blood pressure, 172 over

100, seeking two milligrams of atropine for sedation.

Atropine?

Yeah, for sedation.

Atropine?

Do you mean ativan?

Are you trying to kill your patient, paramedic Randy?

Ativan, yes, ativan.

Two milligrams for sedation.

ETA, ten minutes.

Wonderful.

Try not to murder anyone on the way.

You have to be Serrano.

Fuck!

Shit, you scared me.

Please, give me a fucking break.

Hey, you know there are three other hospitals in this area.

Why don't you drop your patients to one of them, huh?

It's a busy night and not up to you.

You take care of what?

One patient at a time?

I've got 25 full beds in there, man.

I've got a waiting room with an eight hour wait.

I've got an emergency coach going off upstairs, constantly.

I've got an administration that won't hire enough staff.

And simultaneously tell me that I've got to be fucking nicer.

I've got to be nicer and I've got to be faster.

This whole building is on my shoulders, man.

And now, now I've got to take time to fix your mistakes.

I've got a better idea.

Maybe you take your bullshit patients somewhere the fuck else.

You'll excuse me.

I've got to go back to never being done.

Alright, here we go.

Can you handle the heat?

I've got it, playboy.

Come on, man.

Ow!

Oh

Yeah, you think that's not a home run.

You didn't even make it to the sidewalk.

The gutter is a home run line.

Shut the fucker home run.

Don't get your haters.

No, this is crazy.

We've been doing this silly shit for three years now.

You going to miss me?

We're going to see each other.

We'll hang out.

What are we doing right now?

This is work.

This is not hanging out.

This is EMS shit, man.

I don't know shit about you.

We don't even talk like that.

What type of shit you want me to ask you?

How's your mom doing?

If your line is being tended to, if you have a line, I don't even know if you.

..

If you don't have a line, and I don't know, what else?

Damn, man.

You're just co-workers, man.

You act like I'm your best friend or something.

Come on.

Oh shit, I'm your best friend.

I have a lot of friends.

A lot of really good friends.

Damn it, I'm his best friend.

I know my best friend.

Jerry's my best friend.

Jerry's my cousin.

That's why we don't run.

Excuse us, coming through.

Excuse us.

Thank you.

What happened?

You got hit with a line drive right in the chest and passed out.

Are you his father?

Do you know if any medical problems problem us?

Is the AED shocking?

Yeah, twice now.

Do you wake up at all?

No.

Let's hold CPR.

Okay, he's in VF.

Charging?

Okay, clear?

Clear.

Okay, Mike continues CPR.

How long was he down before you started CPR?

We thought he just had the wind up.

How long exactly?

I don't know, maybe a minute.

Okay, that's good enough.

Oh, oh, oh.

We got a pulse.

It just hurt.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, buddy.

What's his name?

He might be Vicente.

Vicente, hey, my name's Randy, and we're going to be taking care of you, okay?

I can't hurt him.

Hey, there's no easy way to say this, Vicente.

Your heart got hit with a baseball, and it stopped.

That's why your chest hurts.

In the exact millisecond, your heart got hit just as it was contracting.

It's like the ball reached out and sucker punched your heart.

It's a one in a million chance.

As a matter of fact, after all this, I would go buy a lottery ticket if I were you.

I'm not going to die.

You're with us now, and our job is to keep you healthy.

Okay, so just lie there, and relax.

Keep your finger over 60.

Okay, it's not a bad start.

You're going to feel a little sting.

You're going to get an IV started.

One, two, three.

Okay.

Now, you're having any trouble breathing?

Oh, my chest hurts.

You're going to pain anywhere else?

No, really.

You have any medical problems?

No.

You want any meds?

Have any allergies?

No.

How old are you again?

11.

Are you married?

No.

I get it.

You're not ready to settle.

You want to play the field.

You want to keep your options open.

The commitment is scary.

I get it.

I'm with you.

Pound it.

Boom.

Okay, I'm going to call the hospital.

You just lie there, and relax.

I'm going to die.

You're going to be all right.

Promise.

County ER, Medic 42.

County Medic 42, en route to your facility.

Emergent with 11-year-old patient postcardiac arrest due to a vegetable to the chest.

Patient with down core approximately a minute before receiving CPR.

Two shocks by AED, one by me.

A patient is in sinus attack.

Conscious alert, oriented times 3, blood pressure 90 over 60.

ETA approximately 7 minutes.

Medic 42 clear.

So you quit the baseball player, huh?

What position did they have your plan?

Start CPR.

ETA clear.

Charging.

Clear.

Clear.

Patient

is back in cardiac arrest.

ETA 2 minutes.

Just a hand in.

Okay, we're good.

Excuse us.

What was his off pressure?

About 20 breaths a minute.

He was fine.

11-year-old child, male hit in the chest with a baseball.

Shocked 3 times, became alert and conscious 3 times.

Back in the V-fib, he was D-fib at 200, 1 milligram of epi.

Shocked again, second milligram of epi.

He's currently a systolic.

Do we have a name?

Uh, Jacinte.

That's all we can win.

You got half a day?

Great work.

I thought you'd want to know.

Your patient didn't make it.

Thanks, Collette.

Yeah, that sucks.

You were great with him, Randy.

No, I wasn't.

Collette, you didn't make a single mistake.

It's not your fault.

You did nothing wrong.

I made a big fucking mistake.

I told the boy he was gonna live and he died.

It's a rookie fucking move and I knew better, but God damn it, he just kept

asking and asking.

That boy died.

But I was gonna save him.

I had to live with that for the rest of my life.

And that's why we build a wall.

Not to keep people out, but to keep shit like that inside.

This job breaks everybody.

All we want to do is save your life.

Oh, shit!

Some of you, don't make it easy.

You should be dead five times over.

No matter how many times you brush with death, you refuse to die.

Others of you, we do everything right.

They can't die on us anyway.

We see you struggling.

They can't deny you service.

But they can bankrupt you.

Wait, we're the blister.

We carry you on our backs, every one of us.

And you crush us a little more every day.

Until you grind us down to a numb.

This is all part of the job.

So you deal with it.

You compartmentalize it.

You eat shit and shove it down, down, down until

one day you wake up and you say, you know what?

Fuck the patients.

Fuck the nurses.

Fuck the doctors.

Fuck this ratty-ass hospital.

Fuck all the blood and shit and puke.

Fuck your documentation!

Fuck the bakers.

Fuck the bullshit calls.

Fuck every shoplifter who got caught and pretended to pass out.

Fuck the fire department.

Fuck the PI ones.

Fuck this bullshit pay.

Fuck me.

Fuck you.

Fuck this job.

Except the kid who just wanted to play baseball.

Except they have the work.

You don't have to sign it.

Randy, please don't go out like this.

Just leave him without even finishing your last shit.

Don't go out like a chump.

Mike, turn on the lights.

Randy, come over to you.

You know I can't do that, man.

Let's forget a couple.

Come on, man.

All right.

One last time.

You answer that now.

You let another crew handle it.

You know what?

Drop your power.

What the fuck?

I don't know where you live.

How are you?

This is sad.

This is a matter of 42 responding.

What the hell?

Let's roll her on three.

One.

Two.

Okay, baby.

How'd you get so lucky, huh?

Yes, she does.

No, no.

Stop.

Listen, this is a 30-something-year-old woman, a head-on collision.

She is not level one criteria.

Do you have any idea how expensive a level one criteria is?

Any idea, you idiot?

She's not even incubated.

You got her bad?

What the hell is that?

That patient is dying, asshole!

Now listen to my report.

Listen, I will be having you kick your ass and put you in a van right next to her,

but you need to listen to my report!

How about this?

How about instead, I call your supervisor and we sell this right now.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Excuse me?

Who are you?

This patient just went apneic three times

with no gag reflex on the way to the hospital.

She's got a skull fracture.

She meets all level one criteria.

Because last time I checked, when a patient goes apneic with no gag,

their GCS goes down to three.

Right?

And I just watched this paramedic fight like hell to save this woman's life while

caring for her child and on to incoming traffic at the same fucking time.

And all I see you doing is standing there like a fucking asshole with your dick in

your hand arguing with him about this patient who is dying, your patient.

And if you refuse to treat her, you'll lose your goddamn life.

Who are you?

I'm Dr. Romero.

I'm your new resident.

Oh shit.

Well, Dr. Romero.

I look forward to working with you.

We're going to have so much fun.

Get the patient.

Okay, look.

You need to tell me.

You're a doctor.

Resident, but yeah.

You told us you were a paramedic.

No, I didn't.

You said that.

I just didn't correct you.

You first said that.

That's what you said.

When we first met you.

Why would I?

I'm a doctor and I'm a paramedic.

Hey, doctor, what's your face?

Grab a bed pan.

Come with me.

We're going to have so much fun.

Whoa.

Good news.

The patient's going to live.

I mean, usually once we drop them off, it's not a problem

anymore, but it's good to know she made it, you know?

Yeah.

Way to throw yourself under the bus, doctor.

Serana's going to make your life a living hell.

No, I never want to be that kind of surgeon.

That's what the ghost is doing.

She should have died.

She would have died at my care.

Right now I'd be telling that family that their mom is dead.

You know, I thought I'd come out here today and I'd

make the paramedics and see what you do, how you work.

And I know you're sick of your job.

I know you worked out.

I know you think you don't make a difference.

You made a difference today.

You did.

You saved her life.

And you saved her family.

You're the kind of doctor I want to be.

I'm a doctor.

If I ever need savings, then I hope I do this.

Okay,

one of those is for Mike.

I'll do more.

That is a gift from the cruise.

This is breakfast on us.

This match and a cruise shipped in and they

heard you told Dr. Serana to go fuck himself.

So this is a little bit harming you.

Wow.

Now, get out of my substation, civilian.

Keep

your password safe.

If you have any trouble at all, call IT right away.

If you have any trouble with them, call me right away.

Now, to access the forums for the pre-authorization day.

Have you guys ever seen anyone choke to death?

You get the fist right under here and then it's just straight back.

Oh!

Surrounding is the worst way to go.

Absolute worst way to go.

Best way to die?

Decapitation.

What are you still doing here?

Oh, is that it?

That's it.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Hi.

Hi.

So...

Well, as it turns out, your closed-out paperwork was never properly filed.

Thanks.

Hey, maybe I can thank you properly sometime.

Take you out for lunch.

Alright.

And you will be in truck 42 with Mike today.

That's right.

That's right.

Listen, man, you gotta let me drive this one.

You know the rules.

Okay, I will.

You hear.

Come on, that ain't shit change.

Yeah, the system is still broken, but what am I supposed to do, quit trying?

I'm no hero, but the truth is I only feel alive when you're about to die.

See you out there.

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