Original subtitles

Mr. Finn, you can't give me a detention.

Principal Mullins caught you on the roof

throwing water balloons at unsuspecting children.

And while that's hilarious...

as a teacher, I had no choice.

But we were both throwing water balloons off the roof.

That's why I had no choice but to blame it on you.

Notice anything different about me?

You're wearing your mom's car?

No, it's my new invention for laser tag.

It's called "Stealth Armor."

While I'm wearing it, I'm undetectable.

Where'd Lawrence go?

- I have to sit down. - This stuff weighs a ton.

Okay, I got this.

Oh!

Need some help there, L-train?

- No, don't help me. - I need to do this myself.

Just ignore me.

Don't even know you're there, Larry.

Guys, check this out.

That's awesome.

But it needs to be filled out.

Hm...

How about something like this...

Oh, that's great.

The Austin Music Fest is coming up

and it's our best chance to get our stuff to Mick Bronson.

That's right.

If we have the right song to give him,

it could be our big break.

No pressure, guys...

but it better be the greatest thing you've ever written.

How about this?

That's sweet.

Then I was thinking the chorus could break like this.

- Wait a minute. - I just remembered.

I built in a power booster.

Nope, that's the smoke screen.

Okay, your first day of detention.

Have you learned your lesson?

Yeah, when your teacher says,

"Hey, dude, you wanna go drop water balloons

off the roof with me?"

Say no.

Hm, I didn't say "dude," I said "brah."

What kind of animals leave garbage on the ground?

- Dewey Finn, for one. - This has your name on it.

But that can't be mine.

My empty yogurt container's

on the floor of my van where it belongs.

Look.

Hey, this is one of my goat yogurts

from the teachers' lounge.

This is serious. Someone stole this from me.

Did you do it, Freddy?

Me? No!

Well, I'm just sayin' you've kinda

got a bad reputation lately, with detention and everything.

It was your idea.

Okay, your alibi checks out.

All right, it's time to get hardcore.

I know exactly what to do.

Leave them a sternly- worded note?

No, I'm talking about one of those

bank robbery booby traps.

When the thief opens it, boom,

blue dye all over his face.

Then you'll know who's been stealing your yogurt.

Freddy, Travis Prep teachers aren't little kids.

They're reasonable adults.

- Excuse me? - Excuse me, Miss Mendoza?

That's my book.

It doesn't seem to have your, uh, your name in it.

It was on my desk.

Well...Ahhhhh!

Want it back now?

Okay, it's on, Janice!

Oh!

Who you lookin' at, Goldilocks?

That, uh, booby trap idea is starting to look better.

♪ Stop telling me to read between the lines ♪

♪ It all adds up to one thing ♪

♪ Five, four, three, two, one... ♪

♪ If you think you gotta lose your cool ♪

♪ Or sometimes you gotta break the rules ♪

♪ Hey show me what you know ♪

♪ Give it up to rock 'n roll ♪

♪ 'Cause we ain't gonna stop ♪

♪ If you're feeling like you're getting schooled ♪

♪ There's an answer right in front of you ♪

♪ Hey, show me what you know ♪

♪ Give it up to rock 'n roll ♪

♪ 'Cause we ain't gonna stop ♪

♪ Hey, are you ready to rock? ♪♪

Hey, Summs, almost ready.

Okay, but you guys have been at this for two days,

and I wanna go to the mall.

The pet store just got a fresh batch

of puppies and I'm starving.

Wait, those two things are totally unrelated.

Zack, the laser tag tournament's today.

We've gotta get there early to practice.

- You practice? - We'll be done in a second.

Yeah, we're trying to come up with some lyrics for our song.

They say you've gotta write what you know.

Okay, well, what about this?

♪ You're a goofy-footed rail-grinding girl ♪

♪ Who takes life for a 720 whirl ♪

Yeah, I'm not sure who's gonna relate to that.

All the left-footed skater girls in secret bands.

That's pretty universal.

Uh, not as universal as my superhero song.

Check it.

♪ Dressed like a dolphin without any fear ♪

♪ But under your mask there is cheer ♪

That's ten-times worse.

And what superhero dresses like a dolphin?

The Blowhole!

Ewwwww!

Tomika, we really should get going.

Yeah, Zack, you can work on this later.

- We've got lasers to tag. - Hold on.

Yeah, what about a hot dog song?

- Nah, let's try gerbils. - What is happening?!

I can't believe Zack just blew me off.

It's as if he thinks laser tag is just a game.

Well, Tomika blew me off.

Now I have to go to the mall alone.

Why don't you come with me?

No way.

Hear me out. It's fun.

Plus, I really need someone to fill in for Zack,

and Freddy has detention.

Well, I don't know anything about laser tag.

I'll try to explain it to you.

You play tag with lasers.

- It sounds dumb. - No thanks.

They have pretzels the size of my butt.

Again, no thanks.

Winner gets a ribbon.

I'm in!

I'm looking at a list of the most popular songs,

and they're all about love.

Okay, well, let's just listen to a love song

to get the hang of it.

Okay, um...

Here's one of the biggest love songs of all time.

♪ My love ♪

♪ There's only you in my life ♪

♪ The only thing that's right ♪

♪ My first love ♪

♪ You're every breath that I take ♪

♪ You're every step I make ♪

♪ And I... ♪

♪ I want to share ♪

♪ All my love ♪

Give it to me!

Okay.

Okay, let's write one of those.

They stole my yogurt again.

It's like no one cares about my colon.

Look, I still say we should set up a booby trap.

No, let's use our brains.

What do we know about this criminal?

Well, we know he likes goat yogurt.

Yes, and that he has access to the teachers' lounge.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Here, run this through the database.

What database?

Oh, I forgot that part.

Make a database.

Guys, I'd like you to meet Summer.

Summer, this is Ali, Billy and Gordo and,

you know the Beyoncé to my Jay Z, Esme.

We are the Lawrencians.

Um, we actually took a vote and we're the Photon Rebels.

The name isn't important.

I promise you guys are going to love Summer.

Hi!

Did he promise you butt-sized pretzels?

Yes.

That's how he gets you.

- Okay, Lawrencians. - Photon Rebels!

Whatever.

Oh, fun!

Remember, we have to lure the enemy in,

so, it's crucial that we work as a team

- and that you only go-- - All right! Let's do this!

Summer Hathaway!

Wooo!

I don't love her so far.

So, uh, how'd the research go?

Oh, it turns out a lot of love songs are about kissing.

Maybe we should start with a kissing lyric.

Okay...

kissing song.

Well, what about this?

♪ Your lips are my key to paradise ♪

♪ Like pizza--wish I could grab a slice ♪

Is that any good?

It did kinda make me sick.

That means it's working.

Do you think kissing really does make people fall in love?

Hm...maybe.

I wonder when I'll have my first kiss?

Oops!

Well, that was sooner than I expected.

So, should...should we talk about--

- The what? - The song.

- Yes, the song. Good. - Great idea.

Um, you were figuring out what it was like

- to be in love. - In love?

For the song.

Wow, is that the time?

Oh, well, my mom's making kissed roast.

She said to be home by kiss 30. Oh!

Yeah, I...I have a thing to do, too,

so, let's totally get back to the song-song soon.

- I'm so into it. - You are?

Me, too! Nothing's on my mind more.

It is?

Well, bye, pal.

Later, buddy.

I come in peace.

Lawrence?

- Um, can we talk? - Sure.

When you first told me about laser tag,

I thought I would hate it.

But it turns out it is so Zen.

Eat lasers, dirtbag!

Yeah, there's an inner peace about you.

- The thing is that-- - Get down!

Ow!

Watch your flank meat.

Okay.

Look, I was hoping you'd, you know,

be more of a team player.

- What? I'm doing great. - I'm points leader.

Yeah, but our team is losing,

and if you'd just play with us,

we could all win.

I'm sorry, Lawrence,

I like being a lone wolf.

It's so freeing.

I didn't wanna resort to Plan B.

- Cuckoo! Cuckoo! - What are you doing?

- It's my secret signa-- - I mean, nothing.

Summer, come back to the team,

or we're gonna be forced to take you out of the game.

I can't believe you turned on me.

Now you know how it feels.

- Who all are your friends? - You are.

Where I come from, friends don't blast friends.

- I'm telling you-- - she "like" likes me.

That makes no sense.

Who would like you?

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm just saying no one would kiss you on purpose.

Now don't you feel better?

No! You're hurting my feelings.

I just want things to go back to the way they were

before Tomika was chasing after me.

Just in case-- I brought this.

What's that?

Skunk juice.

One spray and I'll smell so disgusting

no one will ever come near me.

But I only wanna use it as a last resort.

I think you should just pretend the kiss never happened.

- You think that'll work? - I don't know.

Why'd you do that?

Do what?

You just spit lemonade all over my face.

- No, I didn't. - You totally--

- Oh, I get it. - Get what?

That could work.

Plus, I got her some chocolate milk

as a peace offering.

Look, there's only one way to solve this.

Kiss all your friends.

That way, you're on an even playing field.

I'm ready.

Hold it for five seconds or it doesn't count.

I'm not going to kiss you.

Now whose feelings are hurt?

Uh, what's going on?

- Well, we were supposed to have the sixth grade Mozart Festival,

but Gary the Janitor has the only key to the auditorium

- and he's out sick. - Hmm...

well, if it's helpful,

I know a guy who can get into any lock.

- A locksmith? - Not professionally.

I'll call him.

Mind...mind if I join you?

Why would I mind?

What's that?

Oh, this?

This is just my new headgear.

My orthodontist said I only have to wear it during school,

and after-school songwriting,

and certain lunches.

Oops. What was that?

My term paper on Shakespeare.

Oh.

My back really hurts or I'd pick it up.

You gonna pick it up?

Nah, I'll just write another one.

Look, I just wanna say that I'm glad we're friends--

just very special friends,

and I got you a little something

to show you how much I like being your friend.

No, no need for gifts, really.

I just wanna get back to the songwriting.

Me, too.

I think this thing you and I are doing

is making something magical happen.

No, no, no magic.

I have no choice.

Breath spray?

Skunk mouth!

We're pinned down.

We're never gonna get out of here.

We're gonna lose the tournament for sure.

When I first started blasting people with lasers,

I never knew I'd be blasting my heart.

I'm so bummed, I can't even eat this pretzel.

- Well, I'd be happy to. - Back off, Billium!

- I'm sorry, guys. - I let you down.

You don't have to be the Lawrencians.

We should be the Photon Rebels.

It doesn't matter what we're called.

Only the winners get their names on the scoreboard

and we're toast.

Move in, guys. Let's finish them.

It's been an honor serving alongside you.

We feel the same way.

So, what's the plan, guys?

Summer, what are you doing here?

It turns out I'm not a lone wolf after all.

Maybe we can win.

- What changed your mind? - You did.

I don't wanna win if it means hurting you.

Thanks, friend.

Summer, you crazy kid, what did you do?

I did it for you.

I'm so c-c-cold.

Lawrence, you should have told me to bring a sweater.

I should have done a lot of things.

I think this is it for me.

Ooh, I'm back!

- Let's go, Photon Rebels! - Not Photon Rebels.

We took another vote.

Lawrencians!

Mr. Finn, can I talk to you?

Sorry, Tomika, this is detention time only.

I could break a window and come back.

Ah, just sit down.

You can't get in trouble when you're with me.

Seriously?

I don't know how to say this,

but I think Zack might be in love with me.

Really?

You're probably just imagining that.

He started writing me love lyrics,

then he bought me gifts, and then he kissed me.

Yep, that's love all right.

Congratulations.

No. Ew.

I don't want him to love me.

I just want us to be friends--like before.

Then just tell him.

Look, I know it's hard,

but until you're truly honest,

you'll never get the results you want.

But what if he stops being my friend completely?

You've gotta take a chance.

Look at me.

People were stealing my goat yogurt,

and I wrote them a very honest note.

And?

Someone corrected the spelling,

but still, I got my yogurt.

Mr. Finn, wait!

Don't...open...that.

Maybe next time lead with "Don't open that," mm-hm?

Zack?

Zack!

What candle through yonder window breaks?

Tomika?

Zack...

I have to tell you what's in my heart.

Oh, man, don't make this weird.

I don't love you.

I'm not worthy of you. What?

I don't love you.

Really?

Yes.

I'm sorry.

I don't love you either.

You're just saying that.

No. Seriously.

I don't have any feelings for you at all.

But you kissed me.

- No, you kissed me. - I was bending down.

Me, too.

So, we really don't love each other.

Not at all.

You've made me the happiest girl in the world.

I'm walking on air.

This means we can be friends again.

And finish the song.

Well, you'd better get outta here.

That window you broke activated the silent alarm.

Oh!

You know, you were my first kiss.

You were mine, too.

That's kinda nice.

Yeah. We'll have that forever.

If it had to be a friend,

I'm glad it was you and not Freddy or Lawrence.

Goodnight. Goodnight.

Parting is such sweet--

Gotta go.

♪ When I saw you from across the room ♪

♪ I hoped you would stay there ♪

♪ Boom boom ♪

♪ And the first time we ever met ♪

♪ Wasn't much to remember ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ When they say it's meant to be ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ They're not talkin' 'bout you and me 'cause ♪

♪ This is a lot of things ♪

♪ Friendship and all it brings ♪

♪ But I I thank the skies above ♪

♪ For one thing that we're not ♪

♪ This isn't love ♪

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ This isn't love ♪

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ I'm not weak in the knees ♪

♪ My heart's not skipping a beat ♪

♪ Some worlds collide ♪

♪ But you and me we're better side-by-side ♪

♪ This is a lot of things ♪

♪ Friendship and all it brings ♪

♪ But I I thank the skies above ♪

♪ For one thing that we're not ♪

♪ This isn't love ♪♪

[cheering, applauding,

I told you that...

Good day, gentlemen.

I think we know who's been stealing the yogurt.

It's her, right?