Original subtitles

Attention, students, this is Principal Mullins.

Staircases at school will hence forth

be replaced with waterslides.

Awesome!

I'm gonna bring my pool noodle.

Gotcha.

Lawrence?

Oh, that's one of those...

What is that?

It's my new invention.

Oops.

It's my new invention:

the Voice Modulator 9,000.

It can make you sound like anyone you want.

I've programmed in Principal Mullins' voice

and a few others.

That's so cool.

So no pool noodle?

Freddy's a way better skater than me.

I could never shred like him.

Yes, I can! Shut up!

Make me.

Yeah, well, maybe I will, Tomika.

Wait...

Hey, dudes and dudettes,

I wrote a song about Halloween.

The chords are F#, D, A and E.

Got it? All right.

That's it.

L Train, give me some spooky organ.

Nice!

That's it, let's rock!

♪ There's a chill in the air ♪

♪ Something there in the shadows ♪

♪ What you see right now makes your heart stop cold ♪

♪ Is this a nightmare or a dream? ♪

♪ Clock strikes 12:00 everybody scream ♪

Yeah!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Dancing with the undead ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ It's good to be alive ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Don't go losing your head ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Gotta party like a zombie tonight ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Dancing with the undead ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ It's good to be alive ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Don't go losing your head ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Gotta party like a zombie tonight ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪♪

And as you can tell by that song,

I am super pumped for Halloween tomorrow.

Halloween... that's happening.

My mom's been working on my Jack Black costume for weeks.

She doesn't really know what he looks like.

What are you gonna wear, Zack?

This.

That's a terrible costume.

Unless your costume is

"boring guy who doesn't know how awesome Halloween is."

In which case it's genius.

Unfortunately, Principal Mullins

banned Halloween at Travis Prep.

What?!

You can't ban Halloween.

Halloween is like rock-'n'-roll!

It belongs to the people!

And there's candy.

We'd love to celebrate Halloween

but all we get is the stupid Fall Harvest Festival.

The highlights are a speech from Principal Mullins

and a contest for best gourd.

The prize is a pizza party

which Clark's class always wins.

The worst part is he can't even eat cheese.

He just rings the grease into his mouth.

You can't just give up on Halloween!

You're kids!

It's your sacred duty to dress up and stuff your face

with candy until you puke.

Barfing up candy corns is just a...

sweet, sweet dream, Mr. Finn.

Do not give in to authority.

Some very wise men called the Beastie Boys

once said,

"You've gotta fight for your right to party."

And by "party" they meant "trick-or-treat."

Would it kill you to reference Katy Perry just once?

Yes!

What I'm trying to say is

you gotta enjoy it while it lasts

'cause you get to a certain age

where going house to house and asking for candy is

"creepy," or "inappropriate"

or "it's not Halloween."

Put your back into it, men.

Do you think they hand out pizza parties

for splotchy squash?

Hey, Freddy.

Are you ready to lose your third

Harvest Festival in a row?

No one cares about the stupid

Harvest Festival but you, Clark.

Everyone else likes Halloween.

Face it, hairdo,

as long as Principal Mullins is in charge,

there'll be no Halloween here.

Ma'am, you're obviously sick.

You need to go home.

Yes, I'm sick.

Sick of you hovering, Vice Principal Sternhagen.

I've never taken a sick day

and I'm not gonna start

the day before my Harvest Festival speech!

You know, if your mucus is green,

you should seek medical attention immediately.

According to whom?

According to the "What Color Is Your Snot?" chart.

I have never felt better in all my...

Yup, it's green.

Ugh, that came out of me?

Ugh, fine, fine, I'll go home.

Mr. Sternhagen, wipe your face.

You look disgusting.

As acting principal, I'll keep a firm grip

on discipline while you're gone.

You're 12, Clark.

Mr. Sternhagen will be acting principal.

Yes!

In your face, Clark!

Keep it together, Arnold.

This is not a drill.

Ooh... got him right in the gourds.

♪ Stop telling me to read between the lines ♪

♪ It all adds up to one thing ♪

♪ Five, four, three, two, one ♪

♪ If you think you're gonna lose your cool ♪

♪ Well sometimes you gotta break the rules ♪

♪ Hey show me what you know ♪

♪ Give it up to rock-'n'-roll 'cause we ain't gonna stop ♪

♪ If you're feeling like you're getting schooled ♪

♪ There's an answer right in front of you ♪

♪ Hey show me what you know ♪

♪ Give it up to rock-'n'-roll 'cause we ain't gonna stop ♪

♪ Hey are you ready to rock? ♪♪

Are you sure we should be doing this?

It seems kind of shady.

You heard what Mr. Finn said.

Every kid deserves a Halloween.

I say we go for it.

Hmm.

Now that I hear myself say it, I'm on board.

Acting Principal Sternhagen, how may I help you?

This is Principal Mullins.

Oh!

Hello, ma'am.

I was just busy breaking children's spirits.

My turn.

Cancel the Harvest Festival.

Instead, tomorrow the school will celebrate Halloween.

I want spooky decorations

and all the kids trick-or-treating.

But I thought you-- No "buts."

And no more best gourd contest.

Now it's scariest Halloween contest.

Winning class gets the pizza party.

I thought you hated Halloween.

Just do as I say.

Now hop on one foot.

And say "boing" every time you hop.

Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing...

Now quit messing around and get back to work!

You think he bought it?

Wait for it.

Attention, students,

the Fall Harvest Festival is canceled.

Tomorrow Travis Prep will officially celebrate Halloween. Yes! Yes!

You think Mr. Finn would be okay

if he knew we tricked Sternhagen?

Halloween!

I think he'd be okay.

I can't believe we're actually gonna have

Halloween at school. I know.

It's like Christmas came early.

In the form of Halloween.

Well, well.

What do you want, Clark?

Let me finish.

Well.

I can't wait to beat you and feast on all that

pizza and glory.

Even though he's lactose intolerant

and cheese gives him diarrhea.

Boom!

Shut it, Holden.

Our zombie walk is going to be epic.

Well, our class is building a super-scary haunted house.

Yeah, it's gonna kick your zombie walk's undead butt!

Your haunted house is gonna stink worse than

Clark's bathroom after yogurt night.

You're uninvited to yogurt night.

Come on, people, we can do this.

Tomika, you're on guts and maggots.

Zack, blood-curdling screams.

Lawrence, rotting corpses.

And, Freddy... cupcakes.

This thing looks sick!

But is it good enough to beat Clark's class?

It will be

because... Tomika's got the most

spine-tingling finish in Halloween history--

the spider drop.

True.

I did it at home last year

and my grandma's still scared to hug me.

Hello, pizza party.

Only on candy per trick-or-treater.

Yes, but I'm famous TV and film star Jack Black.

Skadoosh.

One.

I don't know, Lawrence.

It looks scary.

Nothing to worry about, snuggle bunny.

We just wanna see how well it works on a fresh victim.

I probably shouldn't have said "victim."

Okay, I'll help but I don't wanna go in alone.

Where have you been?

Gettin' my treats on.

Pro tip: avoid Mr. Yolan's class.

He's giving out toothbrushes.

What am I supposed to do with that?

Mr. Finn, would you be so kind as to accompany

my lady on her walk through our haunted house?

Me?

Go in there?

As a modern dude

who's a big believer in girl power,

I would never wanna discourage

this strong, confident young woman

from forging her own path.

Thanks but I scare easy.

I'd feel better if you went in with me.

Great!

Ahh! Bats!

It's okay, Mr. Finn, they're not real.

Ahh! Fake bats!

Bob for an apple, my dearies.

Uh, you go for it, Mr. Finn.

Nice try.

I'm gonna stick my face in there

and something creepy is gonna pop out and scare me.

Well, Summer, sorry.

Nothing's gonna scare--

Die, earthlings!

Take her, not me!

I didn't mean it, Esme.

I would never let anything happen to you.

Take her, not me!

Again... my bad.

I can see the light through the cobwebs.

Oh... thank goodness.

It's finally over.

Oh!

That spider was the size of a vehicle.

Oh, you were really scared, Mr. Finn.

What, who, me?

It was too dark in there

to see which one of us was screaming.

It was him.

Tomika, love the spider drop at the end.

I didn't see it coming.

You guys did a great job.

Thanks.

I'm gonna go spread the word.

There is no way we can't win.

She's right.

There's nothing scarier than our haunted house.

Why are you guys screaming?

We tricked Sternhagen.

Principal Mullins never really approved Halloween.

Why didn't you guys tell me you faked Principal Mullins

approving Halloween?

We were just doing what you told us to.

You said we had to fight for our right to trick-or-treat.

Oh, that does sound like something I would say.

Why am I so darn inspirational?!

She's gonna kill me.

Mr. Finn!

You never told me you had

such a handsome twin brother.

We may be okay.

Principal Mullins, shouldn't you be home in bed?

Oh, I took some very strong cold medicine

so I could do my speech

and usually it makes me a little loopy

but I feel just fine now, Tomika.

I'm Freddy.

If you say so, Tomika.

We need to get her out of here

before she notices...

everything!

♪ Just like a white-winged dove ♪

♪ Sings a song sounds like she's singing ♪

♪ Ooh baby ooh, ooh ♪♪

She may have taken too much cold medicine.

She definitely took too much cold medicine.

I could swear I just saw a wolfman.

No, that was Glenn.

He's just Canadian.

Oh, right, of course.

Why don't you rest up awhile, Principal M?

Listen, guys, just now we got lucky,

but when Principal Mullins' cold medicine wears off,

we're all gonna be busted.

But we're this close to beating Clark.

And winning the pizza party.

And having a real Halloween.

And beating Clark.

I'm competitive.

Look, we could race to take all the decorations down

and pretend like this never happened,

or we could really go for it

and keep Mullins busy enough

to have the greatest Halloween of all time!

What do you guys say?!

Yeah!

How do we do that, Mr. Finn?

No idea.

I'm a big-picture guy.

Summer?

Principal Mullins wants to give a speech,

so... let her.

Your Earth logic does not compute.

Bleep-blorp.

We fake an assembly.

Mullins can give her speech in the auditorium.

Yeah, while everybody else keeps secretly

celebrating Halloween.

If the whole school is celebrating Halloween,

then who is she giving a speech to?

You think this will really fool her?

Hit the lights, Zack.

Got it!

Whoa, it looks like a real audience from up here.

Skinny but real.

Add some sound effects and we're golden.

Lawrence, Lawrence, Lawrence, Lawrence!

Oops, wrong button.

That's what I play when I workout.

Whoa, I can't see a thing.

This is the perfect--

I'm okay!

He's not.

Okay, Tomika, all set.

Just get Principal Mullins to the stage

and get back to the haunted house

as fast as you can.

We can't win the contest without you.

Got it.

Over and out!

Hello, Principal Mullins.

Who's excited for the Fall Harvest speech?!

This girl.

That's why I was screaming.

Let me just fix you up a little bit.

Oh. There you go.

There's a pretty principal.

Now let's just put this special

cold and flu bag over your head.

Oh.

Ah... this just feels like a regular shopping bag.

Oh no, it's prescription.

That makes sense.

Oh!

Ah!

It's a packed house.

Knock 'em dead, ma'am.

Oh, you're not going anywhere, young lady.

I need a helper to wave the corn husks.

I really can't, I-- Oh, that's fine.

I'll just get someone out of the audience.

No!

Husk me, woman.

Students of William B. Travis Prep,

please welcome your principal,

Rosalie Mullins!

Solemn as the corn husks

waving in autumn's amber.

Wave the husks.

Now, this is what I call a topnotch Halloween spectacle.

So we're winning the pizza party?

Well, it wouldn't be fare to say

until I judge the last class.

But yes.

He's planning to give Clark the pizza party.

We've gotta get Tomika back.

There's no time.

We may as well face it, it's over.

Not yet.

I have a plan.

Will someone please walk in front of me?

And the wind blows the leaves through...

Wow, what a finish!

But I wasn't-- Oh, look.

The crowd's going wild.

Oh!

Oh, thank you.

You're so kind.

I'll make sure Principal Mullins gets to her car.

Just run, you might still get there in time. Okay.

All right, I just saw perfection

so you're gonna have to dazzle me.

Right this way.

If you dare!

Yikes, bats on strings.

My house has real bats, but nice try.

Bob for apples, my dear!

No thanks.

You should get that cackle checked by a doctor.

Die, earthling!

Ugh.

I see they don't use breath mints

on planet boring.

Oh, brooding teen vampire.

My poodle's got scarier fangs.

Oh fantastic.

An empty space where nothing happens.

Amateur hour.

I'm a spider.

Out of my way!

Rah!

Ah, spider web!

Got ya.

You've been "spidered."

Well, I vowed to give the pizza party

to the class that scared me the most

and since I just soiled my tunic,

Mr. Finn's class wins.

But we worked really hard at being zombies.

Holden even bit a guy.

We deserve that pizza, not these losers.

Losers?

Eat my web.

What in the name...

of William B. Travis is going on here?!

Principal Mullins!

But I saw you drive away.

Well, I forgot my cold and flu bag.

I can't drive home without that.

Look, Principal Mullins,

the kids just wanted to celebrate Halloween.

You are on very thin ice, Mr. Finn.

Um, you must be mistaken

'cause I'm famous actor...

... Jack Black.

What?

That's an odd way to greet

the president of the school board.

Oh, uh, Mr. Kincaid, what an honor.

Yes, it is.

I'm calling because I heard there was

a Halloween celebration at your school.

Yeah, I was just trying to get to the bottom of--

And I wanted to commend the person

who thought of it.

I hear it was a huge success.

Success.

Oh, that would be me.

All my idea.

Now, I want next year's Halloween event

to be even better.

Whatever you say, Mr. Kincaid.

Or can I call you Charles?

Huh, you can't.

This is the best Halloween ever!

Totally! It rocks.

Bleep-blorp.

I never thought there'd be anything better

than Halloween candy,

but, Halloween pizza, I love you.

Ah, trick-or-treat! Ahh!

Happy Halloween, guys.

Happy Halloween.