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[waves crashing]
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[upbeat music playing]
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♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
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♪ Bottoms up, Bavarian style ♪
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♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
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00:00:21,423 --> 00:00:24,804
♪ Bottoms up, Bavarian style ♪
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♪ I propose a toast ♪
♪ To our fellow men ♪
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00:00:28,719 --> 00:00:32,199
♪ Faithful and true ♪
♪ Except now and then ♪
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00:00:32,223 --> 00:00:35,502
♪ I propose a toast ♪
♪ To our fellow men ♪
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♪ Faithful and true ♪
♪ Except now and then ♪
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00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:42,409
♪ When he sees a pretty lass ♪
♪ He's sure to pinch your ass ♪
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♪ While he's guzzling beer ♪
♪ He's watching legs and tits and rears ♪
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♪ He likes to hear the girlie squeal ♪
♪ Every time he cops a feel ♪
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00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:54,521
♪ But of course, he'll never cheat ♪
♪ Unless the Fräulein's in heat ♪
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00:00:54,545 --> 00:00:58,112
♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
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00:00:58,136 --> 00:01:01,606
♪ Bottoms up, Bavarian style ♪
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00:01:01,630 --> 00:01:05,099
♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
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00:01:05,123 --> 00:01:08,893
♪ Bottoms up, Bavarian style ♪
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00:01:08,917 --> 00:01:12,486
♪ I propose a toast ♪
♪ To our fellow men ♪
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00:01:12,510 --> 00:01:16,018
♪ Faithful and true ♪
♪ Except now and then ♪
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00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:19,614
♪ I propose a toast ♪
♪ To our fellow men ♪
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00:01:19,638 --> 00:01:22,716
♪ Faithful and true ♪
♪ Except now and then ♪
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♪ When in flirting he indulges ♪
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♪ His leather shorts
start showing bulges ♪
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♪ And he'll try for some caresses ♪
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♪ Underneath
the Fräulein's dresses ♪
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♪ But that's as far
as he'll explore ♪
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♪ Unless the maiden asks for more ♪
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♪ Then how can he defy her? ♪
♪ He's honor bound to satisfy her! ♪
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♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
♪ Bottoms up, bottoms up ♪
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♪ Bottoms up, Bavarian style ♪
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[Narrator] When the story
starts like this,
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you know you're in trouble.
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[tires screeching]
35
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[man yelling]
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Holy shit!
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You stupid bastard, you!
38
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:03,223
You fucking dummkopf!
39
00:02:03,705 --> 00:02:05,405
- Pardon.
- What?
40
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,894
Please forgive me.
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00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,396
I'm sorry. Fill it up
with the cheap stuff, please.
42
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[tires screeching]
43
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[mooing]
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Do something, make them move!
45
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Ha, you think I can speak cow?
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Hurry up or we'll miss
the Professor.
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- Damn it, drive around them!
- [honking]
48
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Going far?
49
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,715
Never mind, just please fill it!
50
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[Sally] I said pull around the cows,
not around the mountain.
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[Heiner grunting]
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00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,712
Ugh, you're absolutely useless!
53
00:02:36,736 --> 00:02:38,479
The Professor's gone by now.
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[Heiner] Shucks, this never
happens to James Bond.
55
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[Sally] Quick, Heiner, there he is!
Bring the rifle, hurry up!
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[whimsical dramatic music]
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[Heiner] Don't worry,
I'll get him this time.
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While you're watching,
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00:03:00,492 --> 00:03:02,923
think you could pull that car
back on the road?
60
00:03:02,947 --> 00:03:04,827
Well, don't just stand there,
can you do it?
61
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,130
You're not supposed
to shoot at animals.
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00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,765
He's not shooting at animals.
63
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,800
- At what, then?
- At a man.
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00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:13,593
Oh, all right then,
but no animals.
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00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:18,598
Come on Hilda, back to work.
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[suspenseful music]
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Come on, hurry, Hilda.
I wanna see him shoot a man!
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00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:34,896
Hey, come on, come on.
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00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,016
That's it, that's--
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[gunshot]
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00:03:37,541 --> 00:03:39,217
[can clanging]
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00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:43,783
Darn you, I missed!
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00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,196
Oh, sorry.
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00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:46,793
Why don't you try again?
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[Heiner] I will.
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00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,098
- [Sally] Thank you, my good man.
- You're welcome!
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- [Professor] Please, hurry!
- Ah, shut up, asshole.
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00:03:57,116 --> 00:03:59,882
- Huh, what did you say?
- I said I'm almost finished.
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[suspenseful music]
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00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:06,613
- [gunshot]
- [Professor yells]
81
00:04:09,085 --> 00:04:12,385
Hey! What's the matter?
Have you got hemorrhoids?
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00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:13,987
No, I'm shot!
83
00:04:14,806 --> 00:04:17,190
Please, here, here, take this.
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Microfilm.
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A new... discovery.
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00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:24,786
Gasoline...
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made from...
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[expires] cow manure.
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00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,107
Oh, oh. Hey, don't die.
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00:04:34,131 --> 00:04:36,608
- No, no, no!
- [air hissing]
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00:04:36,989 --> 00:04:39,913
Oy, shot in the hemorrhoids,
killed like a dog!
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00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,788
Oh, oh...
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The microfilm,
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00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:46,887
No, ah! There it is!
95
00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:49,036
Microfilm.
96
00:04:51,915 --> 00:04:54,433
[upbeat music]
97
00:05:10,121 --> 00:05:11,499
You've got to help me!
98
00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:13,989
He's been shot!
Murdered, murdered!
99
00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:16,681
Just come--
Come and see for yourself, please!
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00:05:16,705 --> 00:05:17,987
Of course he's dead!
101
00:05:18,011 --> 00:05:19,719
No mistake, I'm sure!
102
00:05:20,116 --> 00:05:21,822
The corpse is driving away!
103
00:05:23,293 --> 00:05:26,193
Stop! Stop!
Come back here you corpse!
104
00:05:27,017 --> 00:05:28,995
Will you listen?
See? He's driving off!
105
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,716
You're full of shit!
I'm not crazy.
106
00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:32,975
Damn microfilm,
107
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,001
now he's gonna jerk my hose off!
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00:05:36,912 --> 00:05:38,805
He... God, the pump!
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00:05:39,117 --> 00:05:40,923
Stop fooling with me, Xaver.
110
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He's pulling my hose
down the road!
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00:05:44,119 --> 00:05:46,578
It's your job, Xaver,
get down here!
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What? For Christ sake,
he hung up.
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Ah, shit.
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[whimsical music]
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[Narrator] I knew
this could only mean trouble.
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Come in.
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Do you mean come in or push in?
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It makes no difference to me.
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[in Italian] Oh, so beautiful...
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00:06:30,327 --> 00:06:32,392
What a beautiful bottom
I've found.
121
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,595
But not now,
I must milk the cows.
122
00:06:36,118 --> 00:06:37,689
Oh, that's marvelous!
123
00:06:37,713 --> 00:06:40,198
And after them you can milk me!
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00:06:40,222 --> 00:06:42,301
[mellow music]
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00:07:00,116 --> 00:07:02,576
You see how easily
we could have killed you, Professor?
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00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,405
You're lucky it was
a knockout dart.
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00:07:04,429 --> 00:07:06,393
I hope we've taught you
a lesson.
128
00:07:07,188 --> 00:07:09,095
Give us the formula now, okay?
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00:07:09,912 --> 00:07:11,598
I don't have the formula.
130
00:07:13,326 --> 00:07:15,608
Well, in that case,
dear Professor,
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00:07:15,632 --> 00:07:17,091
you leave us no choice.
132
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,306
We'll have to kill you.
133
00:07:19,843 --> 00:07:22,509
Well, then you have a real problem,
you see...
134
00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:25,099
for if I am dead,
then the formula is also dead.
135
00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:26,998
You're getting me mad,
Professor!
136
00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:28,369
[clicking tongue]
137
00:07:28,393 --> 00:07:30,881
Now, look. Tell me
where the formula is.
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Where's the formula?
I'll break your head!
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00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,988
Where is it?
140
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,323
Oh, is she cute!
141
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:38,390
Huh?
142
00:07:39,004 --> 00:07:41,885
Concentrate, man.
The formula, the formula!
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00:07:41,909 --> 00:07:44,791
How can I think of formulas
with a naked woman prancing about?
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00:07:44,815 --> 00:07:47,100
Knock it off, Professor,
you're too old for that.
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I want that formula.
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00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:51,905
I haven't got it.
147
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:55,408
- Where did you hide it?
- Take care of the car, I'll handle it.
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00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:57,629
Okay.
149
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,513
[Sally] Dear Professor...
150
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,504
[Professor] Yes, luscious bite?
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00:08:02,528 --> 00:08:04,891
Herr Professor, darling.
152
00:08:04,915 --> 00:08:06,629
Professor, you're my type.
153
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,911
Intellectual men arouse me.
154
00:08:09,817 --> 00:08:12,399
Would you like me
to stroke your slide rule?
155
00:08:12,423 --> 00:08:14,136
Yes! Go ahead!
156
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,628
I will if you...
157
00:08:16,618 --> 00:08:18,788
Oh, for you anything.
158
00:08:18,812 --> 00:08:20,289
Mm-hmm.
159
00:08:20,313 --> 00:08:22,989
And the formula?
You'll tell me where it is.
160
00:08:23,013 --> 00:08:24,326
Positively not.
161
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,267
Mm, but, Professor...
162
00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:27,320
No, no!
163
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It's just a little formula.
164
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:31,680
For me?
165
00:08:31,704 --> 00:08:33,313
But it's just not with me.
166
00:08:33,811 --> 00:08:34,814
Where is it?
167
00:08:35,119 --> 00:08:37,417
I don't have it
with me now, really.
168
00:08:38,219 --> 00:08:41,509
But let's not worry
about a silly little formula.
169
00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:43,990
What did you do?
Hide it at the station?
170
00:08:44,395 --> 00:08:46,578
Hide it? With that mad fool?
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00:08:46,602 --> 00:08:48,783
[laughs] I wouldn't do that.
172
00:08:48,807 --> 00:08:50,573
I am not that silly.
173
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:54,000
The formula is hidden
where you'd never, ever look for it.
174
00:08:55,221 --> 00:08:57,203
And I'll never tell you where.
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00:08:58,188 --> 00:09:00,119
We'll see about that.
176
00:09:02,987 --> 00:09:05,220
- Lock him in the trunk.
- Right.
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00:09:07,021 --> 00:09:08,615
[Professor yelling]
178
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:11,584
God damn it,
where did he throw it?
179
00:09:11,608 --> 00:09:13,486
Oh, oh, it could be valuable!
180
00:09:14,294 --> 00:09:16,783
Here, microfilm,
here, microfilm...
181
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,313
Come to Sandy.
182
00:09:19,257 --> 00:09:21,394
Ah, it makes synthetic petrol.
183
00:09:21,418 --> 00:09:24,197
If I find it, maybe it's worth
a million!
184
00:09:24,636 --> 00:09:26,573
All right, Sandy,
you must think a little.
185
00:09:26,597 --> 00:09:28,302
Where in this place
would you hide?
186
00:09:28,326 --> 00:09:30,003
You just wait, I'll find you.
187
00:09:30,809 --> 00:09:34,007
The murderers! The formula!
They want the formula!
188
00:09:34,326 --> 00:09:35,399
[man yells]
189
00:09:35,423 --> 00:09:38,178
They'll kill me, unless, unless...
unless I get 'em first!
190
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:39,412
My god!
191
00:09:39,671 --> 00:09:41,514
Stupid bloody ladder, shoot!
192
00:09:43,287 --> 00:09:44,217
[grunts]
193
00:09:44,704 --> 00:09:46,786
- Mein Führ... huh?
- Mein who?
194
00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:48,891
You want me to wash your socks?
195
00:09:48,915 --> 00:09:50,190
I've done harm.
196
00:09:50,809 --> 00:09:51,825
Xaver!
197
00:09:52,395 --> 00:09:55,208
Xaver, I didn't mean it! Wake up!
198
00:09:55,498 --> 00:09:58,198
It was a mistake, wake up!
199
00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:02,122
[panting]
200
00:10:03,294 --> 00:10:05,505
- Here, Xaver.
- I'm washing them! I'm washing them!
201
00:10:05,529 --> 00:10:07,095
- That's enough water!
- Are you all right?
202
00:10:07,119 --> 00:10:08,984
- Stop! Stop it, stop it!
- I'm sorry.
203
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,815
I thought you were
the murdering spies.
204
00:10:10,839 --> 00:10:13,885
That water went past my mouth,
up my nose and everywhere.
205
00:10:13,909 --> 00:10:15,500
What do you think you are doing?
206
00:10:15,524 --> 00:10:17,089
You want some whiskey
for a little chaser?
207
00:10:17,113 --> 00:10:19,319
Oh, I might,
a little tiny taste,
208
00:10:19,343 --> 00:10:22,947
but just for
medicinal purposes, that's all.
209
00:10:25,704 --> 00:10:27,081
Here! Here!
210
00:10:27,105 --> 00:10:28,427
- Drink this.
- Thank you.
211
00:10:31,019 --> 00:10:32,699
- Huh, it's nice.
- Mm-hmm.
212
00:10:34,429 --> 00:10:36,091
Hey, give me that bottle back!
213
00:10:36,115 --> 00:10:38,479
Now, come on, please don't drink
the whole freaking bottle.
214
00:10:38,503 --> 00:10:41,674
A man's been murdered
and you finished my favorite schnapps!
215
00:10:41,698 --> 00:10:43,990
Ah yes, because I just need
this bottle for my evidence.
216
00:10:44,014 --> 00:10:46,012
- For Christ's sake.
- You don't suppose I drink this
217
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:48,091
just because I wanted
a drink of whiskey, do you?
218
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:50,302
Here, hold this
while I find my pencil.
219
00:10:50,326 --> 00:10:52,318
Hmm, let's see.
Murdered, you just said.
220
00:10:53,395 --> 00:10:55,289
- Okay, but, it's awful.
- Just a minute. Wait.
221
00:10:55,313 --> 00:10:56,899
- It happened over there.
- Just a second, I just--
222
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,191
- Dropped my pencil.
- Where?
223
00:10:58,215 --> 00:11:00,093
- On the ground, you fool!
- I can't believe this.
224
00:11:00,502 --> 00:11:01,682
You lose your pencil
225
00:11:01,706 --> 00:11:02,990
when you're supposed
to be finding clues!
226
00:11:03,014 --> 00:11:04,597
Oh, oh, there's still some left.
227
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:07,600
Ooh...
228
00:11:09,988 --> 00:11:11,947
[Xaver] Ah, here it is,
I found it.
229
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,509
So did I. Hm!
230
00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:15,909
- What did you find? Tell me!
- Uh, uh, the formula!
231
00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:18,888
- What's with this formula?
- [stuttering]
232
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,468
say, for Pete's sake,
that automatic!
233
00:11:21,492 --> 00:11:23,371
Stick that heater in there
before you shoot us!
234
00:11:23,395 --> 00:11:25,885
Oh, it's not loaded.
I'll show you it's not loaded.
235
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,520
- See there?
- [gunshot]
236
00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:30,990
[gulps]
237
00:11:33,705 --> 00:11:37,197
Ah, it feels so good to be milking
both of you this way.
238
00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:39,999
[both moaning]
239
00:11:40,602 --> 00:11:43,092
- [Kuhhirtin] Faster! Faster!
- Oh, what's this?
240
00:11:43,116 --> 00:11:45,305
I think there's something
strange going on here.
241
00:11:46,323 --> 00:11:47,957
I think I'll go and look.
242
00:11:47,981 --> 00:11:50,210
It might be those crooks
of Sandler's.
243
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:51,711
And what is this?
244
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,913
- [Tino] I'm coming, I'm coming!
- Halt!
245
00:11:53,937 --> 00:11:56,316
- [cow mooing]
- [Tino yelling in Italian]
246
00:11:58,602 --> 00:11:59,992
What's this all about?
247
00:12:00,016 --> 00:12:01,664
It's a ménage à trois, idiot.
248
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,923
Don't swear at me,
you foreigner.
249
00:12:03,947 --> 00:12:05,792
I saw you both
screwing that cow.
250
00:12:06,322 --> 00:12:08,716
So? It's a bi-sex with a bison.
251
00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:10,578
We're all consenting adults.
252
00:12:10,602 --> 00:12:12,074
How about doing it inside?
253
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,700
At home? Behind closed doors?
254
00:12:13,724 --> 00:12:16,297
We've tried, but the cow,
she's too big for the door.
255
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:18,678
Aha, now you admit
that you're a pervert, huh?
256
00:12:18,702 --> 00:12:20,303
[curses in Italian]
257
00:12:20,327 --> 00:12:23,303
We know how to deal
with people like you around here.
258
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,819
Yeah, give me your passport.
259
00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:26,993
My passport? It's missing.
260
00:12:27,017 --> 00:12:28,681
Aha! You're probably a spy!
261
00:12:28,705 --> 00:12:31,117
- Now, who are you spying for?
- A spy, me?
262
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,473
[laughs]
263
00:12:32,497 --> 00:12:35,578
- I'm an American-Italiano.
- Yeah, yeah, that's right, mafioso.
264
00:12:35,602 --> 00:12:37,666
It makes no damn difference
to me, you hear?
265
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,576
Ah, but my friend has passport,
I'll call him!
266
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,408
- Emil, come on out!
- What's up, Tino?
267
00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,497
- Don't ask questions. Come right here!
- Come here.
268
00:12:44,521 --> 00:12:47,200
- Hope he's got it, otherwise it's prison.
- Yeah, sure, I'm coming now.
269
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,990
- And what seems to be the big problem?
- I'll tell...
270
00:12:52,014 --> 00:12:53,406
[funny music]
271
00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:56,109
- Mm?
- Nothing, nothing.
272
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:59,398
Heh, heh.
I'll, I'll, I'll see you later.
273
00:13:01,085 --> 00:13:03,583
[both laughing]
274
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,303
- How was the milking girl?
- Oh, I never found out!
275
00:13:07,327 --> 00:13:09,819
I was interrupted
as I was about to cum!
276
00:13:09,843 --> 00:13:11,473
I'll have to try again tomorrow.
277
00:13:11,497 --> 00:13:12,986
When's my turn, Tino?
278
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,573
Take it easy, I'll find you one.
279
00:13:14,597 --> 00:13:16,987
Leave it to me to find the one
big enough for you, huh?
280
00:13:17,011 --> 00:13:18,707
I'll let you know when I do.
281
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,194
[lively music]
282
00:13:24,608 --> 00:13:26,883
- Here's your beer, Franz.
- Thanks, Zenzi dear.
283
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,295
How about a little action now?
284
00:13:28,319 --> 00:13:30,091
Will you quit that, Franz?
I'm working, please.
285
00:13:30,115 --> 00:13:31,989
Can't you get off work
for a little fun?
286
00:13:32,013 --> 00:13:34,573
Or let's see if we can
do it here this way, huh?
287
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:36,816
Yeah, but you need
a Zenzi special.
288
00:13:38,807 --> 00:13:41,120
- [groaning]
- [laughing]
289
00:13:47,714 --> 00:13:49,282
[Narrator] Sherlock Holmes said,
290
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:52,098
"Always look through the local paper
for suspects."
291
00:13:52,884 --> 00:13:54,200
And there's one now.
292
00:13:54,774 --> 00:13:56,803
Zenzi, hold on, wait a minute.
293
00:13:57,395 --> 00:14:00,575
I want something to eat.
Uh, blue plate and a beer.
294
00:14:00,599 --> 00:14:02,197
- Okay, Sandy.
- The boss, where is he?
295
00:14:02,221 --> 00:14:04,010
- He's over there.
- Oh yeah, thank you.
296
00:14:06,088 --> 00:14:07,113
Huber!
297
00:14:07,809 --> 00:14:09,116
Who did that?
298
00:14:10,323 --> 00:14:12,695
- Sandler, what are you doing?
- Shh, I'll tell you,
299
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,487
but you must keep it a secret.
300
00:14:15,014 --> 00:14:17,099
- You must keep it a secret.
- Mm-hmm, a woman.
301
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,379
Huber...
302
00:14:18,703 --> 00:14:20,569
- We could become rich!
- Rich!
303
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,096
Not so loud,
someone could be listening.
304
00:14:24,019 --> 00:14:25,998
Spies are everywhere
around here.
305
00:14:26,702 --> 00:14:29,102
You-- You must promise me
not to tell anyone.
306
00:14:29,806 --> 00:14:32,073
- Don't I always keep our secrets?
- Hm.
307
00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:34,307
Now, for instance, I didn't
tell your wife about your mistress.
308
00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:35,806
Shut your mouth!
309
00:14:36,812 --> 00:14:38,911
- [Man] Fräulein, another beer, please.
- Okay.
310
00:14:39,602 --> 00:14:40,913
[gasping]
311
00:14:41,294 --> 00:14:44,417
You're so anxious,
you can get your spaghetti yourself!
312
00:14:45,396 --> 00:14:46,886
This is somebody's order.
313
00:14:58,395 --> 00:15:00,600
There you are, now you can
place your order, mister.
314
00:15:00,909 --> 00:15:02,902
I would expand this hotel,
315
00:15:03,498 --> 00:15:05,314
I could get some
happy hookers, too!
316
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,888
Now, just a second,
we'd better check out some things,
317
00:15:07,912 --> 00:15:09,992
but I haven't got
the right equipment.
318
00:15:10,016 --> 00:15:12,371
So, perhaps your projector
would work.
319
00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:13,989
You want my still projector?
320
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:18,961
I'm talking about a tiny little
piece of microfilm.
321
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,690
- Fooey!
- Why do you say that?
322
00:15:20,714 --> 00:15:23,122
[Huber] I'm not getting mixed up
with any of your dirty films.
323
00:15:23,146 --> 00:15:25,467
[Sandler] I'm talking about microfilms,
not beaver films.
324
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,094
I know how you make your money.
325
00:15:27,118 --> 00:15:29,097
Now please,
give me that soup plate.
326
00:15:29,121 --> 00:15:31,890
I'm saying it's
a little microfilm
327
00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:34,200
containing a formula
worth millions.
328
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,202
- It'll make gas from crap.
- It what?
329
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:38,371
I'm telling you, from bullshit,
it makes gasoline!
330
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:39,482
How so?
331
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,716
Huber, this product
will be revolutionary.
332
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:44,888
- Think of that.
- Sounds good, let me see it.
333
00:15:44,912 --> 00:15:46,130
You don't expect me
to show it to you here.
334
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,644
Here's your dinner, Sandler.
335
00:15:47,668 --> 00:15:48,720
Thank you.
336
00:15:48,744 --> 00:15:50,716
- Wait a minute, that's not yours.
- Just put it down, thanks.
337
00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:53,196
Ahem, listen, I'm going to
make you a proposal, okay?
338
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,989
Your kid has a projector
for enlargements, right?
339
00:15:56,013 --> 00:15:57,611
You make it available
and we're in business.
340
00:15:57,635 --> 00:15:58,992
Sure, okay we can do that.
341
00:15:59,016 --> 00:16:00,998
- Good.
- Where is this formula?
342
00:16:01,022 --> 00:16:02,196
[Sandler] Leather shorts.
343
00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:04,619
- Leather shorts?!
- Keep it quiet!
344
00:16:04,643 --> 00:16:06,303
I've told you, spies.
345
00:16:06,327 --> 00:16:07,976
I pinned it inside.
346
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,102
If they try to find it,
they'll have bad luck.
347
00:16:10,607 --> 00:16:12,572
Wait, that's my food.
348
00:16:15,291 --> 00:16:16,609
[bell rings]
349
00:16:20,912 --> 00:16:22,299
Why are we stopping here?
350
00:16:22,323 --> 00:16:23,957
This is as nice a place as any.
351
00:16:23,981 --> 00:16:25,923
Maybe we can find some women
and have some fun.
352
00:16:25,947 --> 00:16:27,954
We haven't got
much money left, you know?
353
00:16:27,978 --> 00:16:30,990
Emil, have I ever let you down?
The girls will treat us.
354
00:16:31,014 --> 00:16:33,196
There must be a piece for you
and a piece for me.
355
00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:34,717
Oh, I don't believe it.
356
00:16:34,741 --> 00:16:35,918
Don't worry about it.
357
00:16:35,942 --> 00:16:39,584
First, I know, I can find a way
into those Bavarian bushes.
358
00:16:39,608 --> 00:16:41,801
- You think you can.
- What do you think?
359
00:16:43,707 --> 00:16:44,804
Mm-hmm!
360
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,585
Oh?
361
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,111
Just my bag, come on,
give me a coin.
362
00:16:53,705 --> 00:16:55,214
Our very last mark.
363
00:16:57,505 --> 00:16:59,385
Now we got nothing left.
364
00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:01,675
Don't worry.
365
00:17:01,699 --> 00:17:04,164
Isn't it beautiful,
this lovely landscape?
366
00:17:04,188 --> 00:17:06,990
[Emil] Sure, great, but what
are we gonna do, eat the land?
367
00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:09,371
[Tino] Don't worry,
if things go as I planned,
368
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:12,398
we will soon be frolicking
in that bush garden.
369
00:17:13,189 --> 00:17:14,984
And just look at all
those Bavarian bushes.
370
00:17:15,008 --> 00:17:17,679
Yeah, nice,
but we can't eat those bushes.
371
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,226
You'd be surprised.
372
00:17:29,597 --> 00:17:31,772
Look at that, a man could find
all he wants
373
00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:33,671
in this wonderful country.
374
00:17:38,088 --> 00:17:39,892
Hey, look what we found.
375
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,394
Mm?
376
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,895
Oh?
377
00:17:44,091 --> 00:17:45,700
Empty, nothing.
378
00:17:47,512 --> 00:17:49,101
Now what do you suggest?
379
00:17:50,882 --> 00:17:53,205
Hey, look, some Bavarian bush
right there.
380
00:17:55,017 --> 00:17:57,209
Hey, need a good bush whacker?
381
00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:04,984
Uh-huh, watch this.
382
00:18:07,429 --> 00:18:08,923
Hey, hey, hey!
383
00:18:08,947 --> 00:18:11,190
[whimsical music]
384
00:18:12,607 --> 00:18:13,993
Signorina, I'd like to give
385
00:18:14,017 --> 00:18:16,092
your lovely Bavarian bush
a feel, okay?
386
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:17,308
Get stuffed, runt!
387
00:18:17,332 --> 00:18:19,785
Oh, please, I'm enthralled
by your Bavarian bush.
388
00:18:19,809 --> 00:18:20,716
I must have it!
389
00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:22,702
[yelling]
390
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,705
Sorry you flipped over me, kid,
but no thanks.
391
00:18:26,807 --> 00:18:29,809
- Have any more ideas, Tino?
- Of course, let me think.
392
00:18:30,191 --> 00:18:33,212
Oh, now I'll show you
what's gonna make us rich.
393
00:18:34,707 --> 00:18:36,115
[Huber] Oh, in there?
394
00:18:36,139 --> 00:18:37,998
[laughing]
395
00:18:38,022 --> 00:18:39,773
Laugh, go ahead.
396
00:18:39,797 --> 00:18:42,257
I'll bet I could show those spies
a few things.
397
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:44,916
- Is that it?
- Put it in.
398
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:48,694
[Huber] Oh?
399
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,296
Mm...
400
00:18:51,188 --> 00:18:54,000
It seems a bit complicated,
do you understand it?
401
00:18:54,395 --> 00:18:55,405
Do you Sandy?
402
00:18:55,429 --> 00:18:58,104
Hmm, might be chemicals.
403
00:19:00,121 --> 00:19:03,233
Could the pharmacist read it,
or the doctor?
404
00:19:03,257 --> 00:19:05,399
Hm, and our millions?
405
00:19:05,423 --> 00:19:08,414
They will shrink if we cut in
the doctor and the pharmacist.
406
00:19:10,195 --> 00:19:12,095
Hid it in a pair
of leather shorts.
407
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,020
But which pair
of leather shorts?
408
00:19:14,608 --> 00:19:15,893
I've been thinking, you know?
409
00:19:15,917 --> 00:19:18,891
Ah, don't think too hard,
you may strain your scrotum.
410
00:19:19,598 --> 00:19:21,360
Okay baby, what's your plan?
411
00:19:23,257 --> 00:19:25,598
I think best in bed,
you know that.
412
00:19:26,714 --> 00:19:28,501
Especially while I'm screwing.
413
00:19:28,813 --> 00:19:30,992
Are you up to it, super agent?
414
00:19:31,016 --> 00:19:32,473
Well, I don't mind balling,
415
00:19:32,497 --> 00:19:34,507
when it's for
a good purpose, Sally.
416
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,117
- [upbeat song starts]
- [moaning]
417
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:43,804
♪ It's in the air ♪
418
00:19:43,828 --> 00:19:46,474
♪ Everyone's having an affair ♪
419
00:19:46,498 --> 00:19:50,702
♪ They all lose control in Tyrol ♪
420
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:56,504
♪ The wenches are doing ♪
♪ some fabulous screwing ♪
421
00:19:56,528 --> 00:20:01,297
♪ In the horny old town of Tyrol ♪
422
00:20:01,321 --> 00:20:03,798
[yodeling]
423
00:20:08,704 --> 00:20:12,111
♪ Yes, love is so great in Tyrol ♪
424
00:20:12,135 --> 00:20:13,412
[Sally moans]
425
00:20:13,987 --> 00:20:16,103
♪ It must be the town ♪
426
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,680
♪ Each boy and girl go down ♪
427
00:20:18,704 --> 00:20:21,854
♪ They all lose control in Tyrol ♪
428
00:20:21,878 --> 00:20:25,091
[Sally] I'm thinking! I'm thinking!
Oh, I'm thinking!
429
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,495
♪ Everyone's giving head ♪
430
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,095
♪ In the horny old town... ♪
431
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,882
Hey Zenzi, what are you doing?
432
00:20:31,906 --> 00:20:33,899
Shh, they're screwing.
433
00:20:33,923 --> 00:20:35,113
Oh yeah?
434
00:20:36,395 --> 00:20:38,804
- [Sally] It's coming! It's coming!
- [Heiner] So am I.
435
00:20:38,828 --> 00:20:40,906
Get away, you pervert!
Stand back!
436
00:20:40,930 --> 00:20:44,210
♪ Love's so great in Tyrol ♪
437
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,311
- [Sally moaning]
- [upbeat music]
438
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,123
[yodeling]
439
00:20:59,671 --> 00:21:01,794
- Hey, Lois!
- Oh, hi, Claudia.
440
00:21:02,464 --> 00:21:05,680
♪ Yes, love's the game in Tyrol ♪
441
00:21:05,704 --> 00:21:08,300
What's wrong, Lois?
What happened?
442
00:21:08,812 --> 00:21:10,290
Oh, Claudia...
443
00:21:10,314 --> 00:21:12,474
your uncle said
we shouldn't meet anymore.
444
00:21:12,498 --> 00:21:14,470
- [Claudia] The old fart.
- You shouldn't make fun of him.
445
00:21:14,494 --> 00:21:15,783
But he is an old fart
446
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,612
and he has no right
to keep us apart.
447
00:21:17,636 --> 00:21:19,993
After all,
we're practically engaged.
448
00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:23,015
I know how you feel.
There's no place for us to meet.
449
00:21:23,774 --> 00:21:26,094
Poor boy, just get the ladder
450
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,127
and come up to my room
tonight, okay?
451
00:21:28,151 --> 00:21:29,785
And what about your uncle, huh?
452
00:21:29,809 --> 00:21:31,193
We don't have to worry
about him,
453
00:21:31,217 --> 00:21:33,407
because his friends
are taking him out tonight.
454
00:21:33,431 --> 00:21:36,164
All right, but if I'm ever found
inside your bedroom,
455
00:21:36,188 --> 00:21:37,897
then we're both in big trouble.
456
00:21:38,704 --> 00:21:41,500
Oh don't worry, hun,
I'll be waiting up for you.
457
00:21:43,326 --> 00:21:44,703
[chuckling]
458
00:21:45,599 --> 00:21:46,906
[whistling]
459
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:57,510
Well, did you get any ideas?
460
00:21:57,534 --> 00:21:59,097
Uh-huh.
461
00:21:59,121 --> 00:22:01,787
- What? For instance.
- You'll see soon enough.
462
00:22:02,707 --> 00:22:03,977
[Sandler] Claudia!
463
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:06,783
- Hey, Claudia!
- [Claudia] Yes, uncle?
464
00:22:06,807 --> 00:22:08,998
- Get my pipe tobacco!
- [Claudia] Okay.
465
00:22:09,022 --> 00:22:10,884
I'll be in the hotel,
in the bar.
466
00:22:10,908 --> 00:22:12,698
[Claudia]
I'll bring it right down.
467
00:22:16,222 --> 00:22:18,103
Uh-huh, just fits my plans.
468
00:22:18,912 --> 00:22:21,006
Hurry up,
it's time to go to work again.
469
00:22:23,912 --> 00:22:26,812
You're thinking wore me out,
I think I'll take a nap.
470
00:22:28,326 --> 00:22:29,615
[dog barking]
471
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:37,878
It's miserable.
472
00:22:38,791 --> 00:22:40,836
Not one decent shot
of a nude woman.
473
00:22:42,912 --> 00:22:44,680
It looks like the hairs
on Huber's ass
474
00:22:44,704 --> 00:22:46,094
and it means as much to me.
475
00:22:46,118 --> 00:22:47,112
What?
476
00:22:49,188 --> 00:22:50,724
But Sandler is right.
477
00:22:51,115 --> 00:22:54,496
It really makes about as much sense
as my bottom.
478
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:55,908
It's all Greek!
479
00:22:57,016 --> 00:22:59,097
Would one of you men
like to take a better look?
480
00:22:59,121 --> 00:23:00,613
Not at your bottom.
481
00:23:01,121 --> 00:23:02,729
I think I know.
482
00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:06,073
Mm-hmm.
483
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,688
You were pretty close
about Huber's ass.
484
00:23:10,288 --> 00:23:12,591
Yeah, except it's cow shit.
485
00:23:16,878 --> 00:23:17,897
Huber?
486
00:23:18,393 --> 00:23:19,288
Yeah?
487
00:23:20,219 --> 00:23:21,426
Bring a beer.
488
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:28,091
[whimsical music]
489
00:23:43,221 --> 00:23:44,890
- [loud crack]
- [dog barks]
490
00:24:07,602 --> 00:24:10,416
[Claudia] Oh, finally!
I thought you'd never get here.
491
00:24:12,017 --> 00:24:13,886
[humming]
492
00:24:26,947 --> 00:24:29,267
Look out, sweetheart,
here comes a man.
493
00:24:29,291 --> 00:24:32,304
[Claudia] And what a man,
what a man.
494
00:24:32,912 --> 00:24:35,088
[Sally] Get ready, he's coming.
Now, now!
495
00:24:35,112 --> 00:24:37,209
[Claudia] I am ready,
come, come!
496
00:24:39,567 --> 00:24:41,821
Is this what you planned,
a threesome?
497
00:24:41,845 --> 00:24:44,267
Oh my god, Lois,
I thought he was you!
498
00:24:44,291 --> 00:24:45,678
He climbed into my bed!
499
00:24:45,702 --> 00:24:47,405
You expect me
to believe that nonsense?
500
00:24:47,429 --> 00:24:48,923
That you couldn't
tell the difference
501
00:24:48,947 --> 00:24:51,602
between this little piece
of stinkin' garbage and me?
502
00:24:51,626 --> 00:24:53,292
[Heiner groaning]
503
00:25:03,401 --> 00:25:06,405
♪ Oh my darlin' ♪
♪ Oh my darlin' ♪
504
00:25:06,429 --> 00:25:08,813
[Man] We're trying to sleep!
Shut up, you bastards!
505
00:25:08,837 --> 00:25:10,908
[men singing drunkenly]
506
00:25:12,916 --> 00:25:14,712
[grunting] I'll get you!
507
00:25:14,736 --> 00:25:16,982
So long, baby,
don't forget where we left off!
508
00:25:17,740 --> 00:25:19,396
♪ Oh my darlin' ♪
509
00:25:19,420 --> 00:25:22,388
♪ Oh my darlin' Clementine ♪
510
00:25:22,412 --> 00:25:24,590
[yelling]
511
00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:29,468
- Bravo, bravo!
- Are you a pole vaulter?
512
00:25:29,492 --> 00:25:31,612
That's the way I used to
visit Anna when I was young.
513
00:25:31,636 --> 00:25:33,799
[all laughing]
514
00:25:34,054 --> 00:25:36,299
- That's an exit to be proud of.
- Bravo!
515
00:25:36,323 --> 00:25:37,923
Maybe she has time for me.
516
00:25:37,947 --> 00:25:40,095
If she does,
I'll show her a real man.
517
00:25:40,405 --> 00:25:41,582
[shouting]
518
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:44,270
Still another one,
she's got 'em all jumpin'.
519
00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,511
- You're her uncle.
- Right.
520
00:25:45,535 --> 00:25:47,302
And as a guardian
you're not worth a shit.
521
00:25:47,326 --> 00:25:48,714
I'm pleased to meet ya!
522
00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:52,378
You didn't even know
they came from your niece's room.
523
00:25:52,402 --> 00:25:53,485
[laughing]
524
00:25:53,509 --> 00:25:55,677
Down in her roomey, room, room,
525
00:25:55,701 --> 00:25:58,590
she goes bang, bang, bang,
boomey, boom.
526
00:25:58,614 --> 00:26:00,486
Shut up, you stupid chump.
527
00:26:00,510 --> 00:26:02,098
♪ Oh my darlin' ♪
528
00:26:02,222 --> 00:26:04,396
♪ Oh my darlin' ♪
529
00:26:04,705 --> 00:26:07,420
Shh, you'll wake my wife up.
530
00:26:08,121 --> 00:26:11,803
[low voice]
♪ Oh my darling Clementine ♪
531
00:26:12,806 --> 00:26:17,614
♪ Oh my darling Clementine ♪
532
00:26:17,638 --> 00:26:20,097
♪ You are lost and... ♪
533
00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:22,114
What's going on here?
Where's my Josef?
534
00:26:22,704 --> 00:26:25,965
Your husband's going up a ladder
to your niece's bedroom.
535
00:26:25,989 --> 00:26:26,992
[cackling]
536
00:26:27,016 --> 00:26:29,305
My husband is what?
He must be crazy drunk!
537
00:26:29,329 --> 00:26:31,090
Go get him, Anna!
538
00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:32,891
Ooh...
539
00:26:35,392 --> 00:26:38,687
[drunkenly]
Ah, you're promiscuous, uh-huh?
540
00:26:38,711 --> 00:26:40,785
So any man'll do.
541
00:26:40,809 --> 00:26:43,090
I saw them, I saw them!
542
00:26:44,002 --> 00:26:45,404
Yeah, uh-huh...
543
00:26:46,498 --> 00:26:47,995
and I don't like it.
544
00:26:48,319 --> 00:26:51,478
Your men just sneak
in and out, huh?
545
00:26:51,502 --> 00:26:53,399
Seems you don't know
where to stop.
546
00:26:53,423 --> 00:26:55,514
But they climbed in
though the window.
547
00:26:55,814 --> 00:26:57,116
What could I do?
548
00:26:57,619 --> 00:26:59,272
[gasps] Josef!
549
00:26:59,296 --> 00:27:00,576
How can you do this?
550
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,721
The town!
This'll finish us here!
551
00:27:03,294 --> 00:27:04,402
[giggling]
552
00:27:04,426 --> 00:27:06,788
She thinks you and me...
553
00:27:06,812 --> 00:27:08,794
[Anna shrieking]
554
00:27:10,257 --> 00:27:11,547
Oh my god...
555
00:27:12,898 --> 00:27:14,099
Geronimo!
556
00:27:15,019 --> 00:27:17,198
What's happening,
the ground is moving!
557
00:27:17,222 --> 00:27:18,609
Somebody stop the ground!
558
00:27:18,633 --> 00:27:21,197
He's an outright cad!
Look at that miserable dummkopf!
559
00:27:21,221 --> 00:27:22,992
Never set foot in here again!
560
00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:24,409
Cover yourself, Claudia.
561
00:27:24,981 --> 00:27:27,000
[upbeat music]
562
00:27:39,911 --> 00:27:40,705
Yuck!
563
00:27:42,188 --> 00:27:43,895
Ah yoo-hoo! [giggles]
564
00:27:45,911 --> 00:27:47,699
Hey, how 'bout you and me, eh?
565
00:27:48,498 --> 00:27:49,909
Know that man?
566
00:27:51,911 --> 00:27:55,307
Uh-oh, he was dead!
Shot in the hemorrhoids!
567
00:27:55,914 --> 00:27:57,585
So help me god...
568
00:27:58,109 --> 00:28:00,913
Just thinking about it,
I pissed in my pants.
569
00:28:03,154 --> 00:28:05,299
He was at you gas station, right?
570
00:28:05,323 --> 00:28:06,923
Yeah, uh-huh.
571
00:28:06,947 --> 00:28:08,520
And he gave you some film.
572
00:28:09,393 --> 00:28:11,092
Yeah, but I threw it away
573
00:28:11,116 --> 00:28:13,192
and he drove away
without paying me.
574
00:28:13,909 --> 00:28:15,894
Ah, but dead men don't drive.
575
00:28:17,393 --> 00:28:18,697
Where is the film?
576
00:28:21,187 --> 00:28:23,785
You want me to prove it? Huh?
[hums]
577
00:28:23,809 --> 00:28:25,683
I haven't got any film.
578
00:28:25,707 --> 00:28:29,274
I'll show you every part
of my beautiful body.
579
00:28:32,326 --> 00:28:35,314
It's not there, see?
You know what's inside.
580
00:28:36,981 --> 00:28:38,016
Balls!
581
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,820
It's thrilling,
it takes the breath away.
582
00:28:43,125 --> 00:28:46,095
♪ If you're here
there's no use in crying ♪
583
00:28:46,119 --> 00:28:48,957
♪ If she's small
take dead aim at the center ♪
584
00:28:48,981 --> 00:28:51,819
♪ If you keep a-pushin' and tryin' ♪
585
00:28:51,843 --> 00:28:55,405
♪ She'll spread out
and allow you to enter ♪
586
00:28:55,429 --> 00:28:57,303
Pretty thing, come to me!
587
00:28:57,327 --> 00:29:00,200
I've got what you need, see?
588
00:29:00,224 --> 00:29:02,097
Where is the formula?
589
00:29:02,121 --> 00:29:04,711
[giggles] Okay, I'll tell you...
590
00:29:04,735 --> 00:29:06,601
I've hidden it...
591
00:29:06,625 --> 00:29:09,513
in a pair of leather pants,
but which pair?
592
00:29:09,537 --> 00:29:12,297
Or maybe I hid it
in your clothes, let's see.
593
00:29:12,321 --> 00:29:14,102
[loud boing]
594
00:29:14,126 --> 00:29:17,089
Let's show... each other.
595
00:29:19,301 --> 00:29:20,892
[Rooster] Any cock'll do!
596
00:29:33,295 --> 00:29:35,381
[mellow music]
597
00:29:40,915 --> 00:29:42,481
[Rooster] Will my cock do?
598
00:29:50,602 --> 00:29:51,911
Ciao bambina!
599
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,912
[chuckling]
600
00:29:58,991 --> 00:30:00,098
Oh!
601
00:30:02,605 --> 00:30:03,702
Grazie!
602
00:30:05,404 --> 00:30:06,704
[speaking Italian]
603
00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:09,509
Mm-mm!
604
00:30:09,533 --> 00:30:11,295
And what have you been doing?
605
00:30:11,319 --> 00:30:13,296
- Screwing like a head.
- How was it?
606
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,903
Eh, not too bad.
Ah, but you know women...
607
00:30:15,927 --> 00:30:18,095
She got temperamental
at me, so...
608
00:30:18,119 --> 00:30:20,717
You never quit.
Wasn't once enough?
609
00:30:20,741 --> 00:30:22,876
Not enough to get us
this bread and bacon.
610
00:30:22,900 --> 00:30:23,989
Come on!
611
00:30:26,812 --> 00:30:28,917
[humming happily]
612
00:30:33,294 --> 00:30:34,678
Well, I guess that's fair,
613
00:30:34,702 --> 00:30:36,509
at least I'll get
some food out of it.
614
00:30:36,533 --> 00:30:37,602
Wow...
615
00:30:39,104 --> 00:30:40,904
what a loaf of bread.
616
00:30:45,396 --> 00:30:47,012
- Here you are, Emil.
- Thanks.
617
00:30:55,914 --> 00:30:57,022
- Here.
- Oh.
618
00:30:57,046 --> 00:30:58,602
Oh? Is that all?
619
00:30:59,508 --> 00:31:01,293
Well, I'm the one
that did the balling.
620
00:31:03,296 --> 00:31:05,297
[crickets chirping]
621
00:31:15,092 --> 00:31:17,008
Thanks for keeping our secret.
622
00:31:17,032 --> 00:31:19,411
But of course I kept it!
My millions are at--
623
00:31:20,387 --> 00:31:22,780
Do you think I'm the type
that would tell a secret?
624
00:31:22,804 --> 00:31:25,780
- Where is my formula? I need it.
- [grunting]
625
00:31:25,804 --> 00:31:28,995
I left it at
the drugstore laboratory...
626
00:31:29,019 --> 00:31:30,689
and maybe it's not secure.
627
00:31:31,598 --> 00:31:34,292
Those nasty spies,
it's possible they'll kill us!
628
00:31:35,016 --> 00:31:37,512
[grunting]
629
00:31:37,536 --> 00:31:39,920
[Professor]
Oh, you're very strong.
630
00:31:39,944 --> 00:31:41,522
Uh-huh, yes!
631
00:31:41,546 --> 00:31:43,885
But listen,
there's muscle up here
632
00:31:43,909 --> 00:31:46,368
and in my arms also, huh?
I'm strong everywhere.
633
00:31:46,392 --> 00:31:48,098
I'll show you,
let me demonstrate.
634
00:31:48,122 --> 00:31:49,789
[Professor] I'd appreciate it.
635
00:31:49,813 --> 00:31:52,200
It's okay, lean forward
and I'll untie you.
636
00:31:52,224 --> 00:31:54,267
- Do you know where the drugstore is?
- [Professor] Yeah.
637
00:31:54,291 --> 00:31:55,923
You go there and wait for me.
638
00:31:55,947 --> 00:31:58,316
I'll get my clothes and join you,
and please wait.
639
00:31:59,401 --> 00:32:01,386
Don't move an inch
you understand?
640
00:32:01,811 --> 00:32:03,588
You leave and they'll kill you!
641
00:32:04,291 --> 00:32:06,101
Oh no,
they wouldn't kill me again.
642
00:32:06,125 --> 00:32:08,193
Yes! They sure would shoot you.
643
00:32:08,711 --> 00:32:09,995
Shoot, yeah.
644
00:32:10,809 --> 00:32:12,286
Remember...
645
00:32:12,310 --> 00:32:15,168
I have the formula,
that's what they're after.
646
00:32:15,192 --> 00:32:18,618
Do you think you could translate
a little bit of it?
647
00:32:18,642 --> 00:32:20,305
Uh-huh, that's easy.
648
00:32:21,016 --> 00:32:22,908
[Professor giggling]
649
00:32:24,094 --> 00:32:26,480
And when you do,
we'll keep it for us.
650
00:32:26,504 --> 00:32:27,812
[giggles]
651
00:32:28,513 --> 00:32:30,612
[suspenseful music]
652
00:32:47,188 --> 00:32:48,509
Sally, look out!
653
00:32:48,533 --> 00:32:50,717
[Sally] Stop him!
Don't let him get away!
654
00:32:50,741 --> 00:32:52,204
[groaning]
655
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,605
[whimsical music]
656
00:33:04,710 --> 00:33:06,217
[Xaver] Halt, halt!
657
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,402
- Stop there in the name of the law!
- Xaver! Am I glad to see you.
658
00:33:12,464 --> 00:33:15,198
You're just in time,
I'm escaping from the spies.
659
00:33:15,222 --> 00:33:17,299
That makes no sense,
you should be ashamed.
660
00:33:17,323 --> 00:33:19,164
No sense?
The Professor will prove it.
661
00:33:19,188 --> 00:33:21,500
- Phone him at the drug store.
- Why at least don't you have underwear?
662
00:33:21,524 --> 00:33:23,887
You're a disgrace!
You shouldn't be out in public!
663
00:33:23,911 --> 00:33:26,705
I'm trying to tell you,
they stole my clothes!
664
00:33:26,729 --> 00:33:28,785
I'm warning you
one more damn time,
665
00:33:28,809 --> 00:33:31,097
if you don't get dressed quickly,
I'm gonna lock you up!
666
00:33:31,121 --> 00:33:32,785
I said my clothes were robbed!
667
00:33:32,809 --> 00:33:35,474
You're under arrest now, Sandler.
Do I make myself clear?
668
00:33:35,498 --> 00:33:37,369
Perfectly, but you'll have to
catch me first!
669
00:33:37,393 --> 00:33:38,516
Halt, halt!
670
00:33:38,540 --> 00:33:40,612
- Come back here, you. Come back!
- I'll see you around. Bye!
671
00:33:40,636 --> 00:33:42,267
You just wait till I get you.
672
00:33:42,291 --> 00:33:45,196
♪ All the girls keep running
after the hot rod ♪
673
00:33:45,220 --> 00:33:48,098
♪ Around him they all
like to flock ♪
674
00:33:48,122 --> 00:33:51,164
♪ To the wenches
he's just like a sex god ♪
675
00:33:51,188 --> 00:33:54,026
♪ He rules all his chicks
like a cock ♪
676
00:33:54,050 --> 00:33:55,405
♪ We love the hot rod ♪
677
00:33:55,429 --> 00:33:56,888
♪ He's the young fountain ♪
678
00:33:56,912 --> 00:33:59,687
♪ All the wenches
fight to be drenched ♪
679
00:33:59,711 --> 00:34:01,094
[giggles] Look at him go!
680
00:34:01,118 --> 00:34:03,208
Eh, he looks crazy. Mm.
681
00:34:04,807 --> 00:34:06,812
Good morning, ma'am. Oh, uh oh.
682
00:34:07,878 --> 00:34:09,897
[whimsical music]
683
00:34:17,396 --> 00:34:19,113
Halt, I see you!
684
00:34:20,326 --> 00:34:22,193
Stop, I said, stop!
685
00:34:22,813 --> 00:34:25,421
Stop! I'm coming to get you.
686
00:34:27,905 --> 00:34:28,900
[groans]
687
00:34:36,914 --> 00:34:38,510
Aw, shit. Stop, Sandler!
688
00:34:38,534 --> 00:34:41,091
I'm gonna get you
if it's the last thing I ever do.
689
00:34:41,115 --> 00:34:43,021
[yells] Ow! Goddamn it.
690
00:34:45,813 --> 00:34:47,118
Oh no...
691
00:34:49,888 --> 00:34:51,723
Sandy, where are you going?
692
00:34:53,088 --> 00:34:55,493
That bastard, I'll bet
he's been screwing in the bushes.
693
00:34:56,395 --> 00:34:57,899
I'll fix him.
694
00:35:04,195 --> 00:35:06,686
Son of a bitch never gives up,
I'll hide in the house.
695
00:35:06,710 --> 00:35:08,482
Oh no, that'll be
the first place he'll look.
696
00:35:08,506 --> 00:35:10,108
I'll hide behind the wood.
697
00:35:19,084 --> 00:35:20,685
- [loud thump]
- [gasps]
698
00:35:21,505 --> 00:35:22,887
[groans]
699
00:35:24,990 --> 00:35:26,623
[groaning]
700
00:35:28,713 --> 00:35:31,510
Oh, Xaver, how'd you
put your clothes on so fast?
701
00:35:31,534 --> 00:35:33,780
Aha! Your husband is cuckoo...
702
00:35:33,804 --> 00:35:36,277
and ma'am it seems to me
that you're a bit mixed up
703
00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:37,879
and peculiar, too.
704
00:35:37,903 --> 00:35:40,479
I think I should
arrest you also, ma'am.
705
00:35:40,503 --> 00:35:42,194
Ah, but I made a mistake.
706
00:35:42,218 --> 00:35:44,371
I thought you were
that no good husband of mine.
707
00:35:44,395 --> 00:35:46,487
That bastard,
I'll pluck out his eyes
708
00:35:46,511 --> 00:35:48,677
and bash his head in
if I get my hands on him.
709
00:35:48,701 --> 00:35:51,612
- Ah, he's not here then?
- No, he's outside flaunting it.
710
00:35:51,636 --> 00:35:53,385
Excuse me,
I'd better try and stop him.
711
00:35:56,216 --> 00:35:57,510
- Aha!
- Oh.
712
00:35:57,534 --> 00:35:58,878
- Hi, Xaver.
- Oh, hi, Sandler.
713
00:35:58,902 --> 00:36:00,191
Now, let me tell you
what has happened.
714
00:36:00,215 --> 00:36:02,993
Not now, I've gotta catch a lunatic
that's running around naked.
715
00:36:03,017 --> 00:36:04,423
Uh, so...
716
00:36:07,817 --> 00:36:09,887
Aha! Now it's you
that's freaked out, too bad.
717
00:36:09,911 --> 00:36:11,992
- [gasping]
- [clears throat]
718
00:36:12,016 --> 00:36:14,510
Now, what was the cop
doing in the house?
719
00:36:14,534 --> 00:36:15,996
Can you explain that?
720
00:36:16,020 --> 00:36:18,507
This time you damn stupid fool,
you've really done it.
721
00:36:18,531 --> 00:36:20,576
Appearing in front of the whole town
naked, how dare you?
722
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,779
You won't believe this,
but I was kidnapped by spies.
723
00:36:22,803 --> 00:36:25,198
Don't tell me you were kidnapped,
you philanderer.
724
00:36:25,222 --> 00:36:26,472
I know what you're like,
725
00:36:26,496 --> 00:36:28,195
you were up to your old tricks,
you reprobate.
726
00:36:28,219 --> 00:36:30,430
Scaring all the young girls
by taking off all your clothes!
727
00:36:30,454 --> 00:36:33,708
- No, there really are two spies!
- You expect me to believe that story?
728
00:36:33,732 --> 00:36:37,092
Come! Come on.
Get inside, you. Get inside!
729
00:36:37,116 --> 00:36:39,898
[Sandler] Ow, my ear!
Let me explain, come back here!
730
00:36:40,291 --> 00:36:42,890
Anna! Anna!
Unlock the door, Anna!
731
00:36:42,914 --> 00:36:44,592
Oh, Anna, please!
732
00:36:44,616 --> 00:36:47,205
Don't go away!
Don't leave me here! Come back!
733
00:36:48,497 --> 00:36:50,675
Mommy, you can't leave me here!
734
00:36:50,699 --> 00:36:52,598
Listen, come home!
735
00:36:52,622 --> 00:36:55,085
[sobbing]
Mommy, please come back!
736
00:36:55,109 --> 00:36:57,198
[whimsical music]
737
00:37:00,809 --> 00:37:02,687
There's a lot of
leather shorts out there.
738
00:37:03,296 --> 00:37:04,989
[Sally] Well, we'll have to
go through them all
739
00:37:05,013 --> 00:37:06,990
until we find the pair
with the microfilm.
740
00:37:07,014 --> 00:37:09,594
Most of them are at the inn.
That should make it easier.
741
00:37:10,602 --> 00:37:12,647
Where the hell is my costume?
742
00:37:12,671 --> 00:37:14,891
God damn it,
I know I brought it with me.
743
00:37:14,915 --> 00:37:17,819
It isn't here and I needed it
to mingle with the locals.
744
00:37:17,843 --> 00:37:20,201
This would never happen
to Brigitte Bardot.
745
00:37:20,225 --> 00:37:21,594
Oh yeah?
746
00:37:21,618 --> 00:37:23,484
And Sean Connery
wouldn't just stand there,
747
00:37:23,508 --> 00:37:25,710
he'd put his head to work
and get me a costume.
748
00:37:28,505 --> 00:37:31,303
Well, how about
this little number Sally, huh?
749
00:37:31,327 --> 00:37:32,584
I'm sure it fits.
750
00:37:33,257 --> 00:37:35,097
[giggling]
751
00:37:35,121 --> 00:37:37,095
I'm supposed to be waiting
on tables outside, you fool you.
752
00:37:37,119 --> 00:37:39,025
Pretend I'm your order
and eat me up!
753
00:37:39,049 --> 00:37:41,292
- You'll have to catch me.
- [both giggling]
754
00:37:42,921 --> 00:37:45,029
Now comes the best part,
the dessert,
755
00:37:45,053 --> 00:37:46,888
and the dessert is me.
756
00:37:46,912 --> 00:37:48,600
And here's another piece.
757
00:37:49,085 --> 00:37:50,854
That's nice, but I hope it fits.
758
00:37:50,878 --> 00:37:53,026
You can make anything fit,
I should know.
759
00:37:53,050 --> 00:37:54,405
Oh, very funny.
760
00:37:54,914 --> 00:37:56,957
[both giggling]
761
00:38:01,393 --> 00:38:03,990
[humming]
762
00:38:04,014 --> 00:38:06,084
- Here.
- That's fine, now I'm ready to go.
763
00:38:06,108 --> 00:38:08,615
Oh, but you're always
ready to go, liebchen.
764
00:38:08,639 --> 00:38:09,988
- Come here.
- Ooh.
765
00:38:10,012 --> 00:38:11,990
[both giggling]
766
00:38:13,091 --> 00:38:14,030
Get ready!
767
00:38:14,891 --> 00:38:17,412
[cheerful traditional music]
768
00:38:32,505 --> 00:38:33,900
Let me tell you something,
769
00:38:33,924 --> 00:38:35,992
you're not gonna be dancing
with anybody tonight.
770
00:38:36,016 --> 00:38:37,926
- Screw you!
- I'm telling you!
771
00:38:39,194 --> 00:38:41,407
- Uh-huh.
- What do you think you're doing?
772
00:38:41,431 --> 00:38:42,591
Stop it!
773
00:38:44,774 --> 00:38:46,913
- Stop!
- Oh, come on, Claudia.
774
00:38:46,937 --> 00:38:49,194
A bush in the hand
is worth two birds on the loose.
775
00:38:49,218 --> 00:38:50,895
Get away, you creep!
776
00:38:50,919 --> 00:38:52,697
[laughing]
777
00:38:54,911 --> 00:38:57,001
- Just a little more.
- Stop it, you laundry freak!
778
00:38:57,025 --> 00:38:58,703
Fresh air's good
for little beavers.
779
00:39:04,309 --> 00:39:06,311
[upbeat traditional music]
780
00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:15,017
- [applause]
- [cheerful song starts]
781
00:39:41,464 --> 00:39:43,715
I wonder, how do we find
the formula in this crowd?
782
00:39:44,292 --> 00:39:47,018
Oh, I've got the whole thing planned,
see you around.
783
00:39:54,605 --> 00:39:56,198
[Claudia] Come on, Sepp,
let's dance.
784
00:39:56,222 --> 00:39:58,997
Anything you say, honey,
I've been waiting for this chance.
785
00:40:05,188 --> 00:40:07,305
[giggling] Wee!
786
00:40:13,497 --> 00:40:14,628
[Lois] Bullshit!
787
00:40:16,050 --> 00:40:18,016
[Claudia giggling happily]
788
00:40:26,812 --> 00:40:29,418
That's her, Tino!
That's the girl I want for me.
789
00:40:29,809 --> 00:40:32,897
There you go again,
she's too hot for you.
790
00:40:37,497 --> 00:40:39,095
What do you think you're doing?
791
00:40:39,119 --> 00:40:41,506
I know how to stop you.
You're embarrassing me, poof!
792
00:40:41,912 --> 00:40:43,409
Fräulein, give me that.
793
00:40:45,991 --> 00:40:47,412
[shrieking]
794
00:40:50,567 --> 00:40:51,681
Hey!
795
00:40:51,705 --> 00:40:53,484
[groaning]
796
00:40:54,126 --> 00:40:55,854
I've heard about you, faggot.
797
00:40:55,878 --> 00:40:57,440
Why don't you go back
to the city where you came from?
798
00:40:57,464 --> 00:40:59,891
- Fuck, you're so masculine.
- I'll let you feel my arm.
799
00:41:12,405 --> 00:41:14,595
[rooster singing]
800
00:41:14,919 --> 00:41:16,808
[Claudia]
What a cock-a-doodle-oo, wow.
801
00:41:18,401 --> 00:41:20,473
And there really is
a professor, it's true.
802
00:41:20,497 --> 00:41:22,407
He arrived today.
Where did you hide him?
803
00:41:22,431 --> 00:41:23,992
In the cellar of my pharmacy.
804
00:41:24,016 --> 00:41:26,267
There's nothing to worry about,
he's perfectly safe down there.
805
00:41:26,291 --> 00:41:28,607
- I hope so.
- Hey, doctor! Hey, doctor!
806
00:41:29,387 --> 00:41:31,405
Come! I'm in an awful fix.
807
00:41:31,429 --> 00:41:32,885
My old lady put me behind bars.
808
00:41:32,909 --> 00:41:35,493
I see you're under house arrest
and you make a good prisoner.
809
00:41:35,517 --> 00:41:37,209
- [laughing]
- You don't say.
810
00:41:37,233 --> 00:41:39,385
Oh fuck, get me outta here.
811
00:41:39,409 --> 00:41:41,499
You'll see the key,
it's up over the jamb.
812
00:41:41,810 --> 00:41:43,929
[upbeat traditional music]
813
00:41:52,220 --> 00:41:54,614
If you want a girl,
you gotta dance around here.
814
00:41:54,638 --> 00:41:57,993
You gotta give them the sweet talk,
then you have to ram it in.
815
00:41:58,017 --> 00:42:01,196
When she says no,
just ram it home and she's happy.
816
00:42:01,220 --> 00:42:04,097
It would have been easier
to get laid at a rock festival.
817
00:42:04,121 --> 00:42:06,090
Yes, but only with the peasants.
818
00:42:07,981 --> 00:42:09,405
You wait for me here.
819
00:42:13,257 --> 00:42:15,576
Ciao bellissima!
You have gorgeous legs.
820
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,603
Let me feel your Bavarian bush.
821
00:42:17,627 --> 00:42:19,380
[yells in pain]
822
00:42:19,404 --> 00:42:20,805
[laughing]
823
00:42:22,407 --> 00:42:24,408
My finger! My finger!
Somebody take it off of me!
824
00:42:24,432 --> 00:42:26,510
Bastard, you should be
ashamed of yourself!
825
00:42:26,534 --> 00:42:28,813
You see? That's what you get
for being so fresh all the time.
826
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,516
[whimsical music playing]
827
00:42:36,716 --> 00:42:37,922
[sneezes]
828
00:42:39,602 --> 00:42:41,059
Christ almighty.
829
00:42:41,083 --> 00:42:43,294
Where's my plate?
I must find it.
830
00:42:43,981 --> 00:42:46,097
- Oh, ah...
- [crunching noise]
831
00:42:48,154 --> 00:42:49,783
And I was so hungry, too.
832
00:42:49,807 --> 00:42:51,903
You can still suck, Xaver!
833
00:42:51,927 --> 00:42:53,992
[laughs loudly]
834
00:42:54,016 --> 00:42:55,782
You'll be more popular, too,
with the boys.
835
00:42:55,806 --> 00:42:57,909
Don't make fun of me
or I'll run you in.
836
00:42:58,395 --> 00:43:01,026
In fact, I think you're the one
who's been stealing dentures.
837
00:43:01,050 --> 00:43:02,080
Say "ah."
838
00:43:02,704 --> 00:43:03,884
"Ah."
839
00:43:03,908 --> 00:43:05,585
That's it, "ah."
840
00:43:05,609 --> 00:43:06,713
Thank you!
841
00:43:10,222 --> 00:43:13,491
Say, not a bad fit
for cheap teeth, hm?
842
00:43:19,498 --> 00:43:20,798
[loud fart]
843
00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:31,303
[Man] Hey, what the fuck
do you think you're doing?
844
00:43:31,327 --> 00:43:34,812
Give me my pants you goddamn
pervert shithouse thief!
845
00:43:35,497 --> 00:43:37,815
When I get out of here
I'm gonna kick you a new asshole!
846
00:43:38,088 --> 00:43:40,140
[upbeat music playing]
847
00:43:44,398 --> 00:43:47,592
Huber, will you stop serving beer?
You must come with us.
848
00:43:48,222 --> 00:43:50,440
You've got these two,
why do you want me?
849
00:43:50,464 --> 00:43:51,957
Use your head, we're partners.
850
00:43:51,981 --> 00:43:54,305
The Professor's waiting for us
in the laboratory.
851
00:43:54,329 --> 00:43:56,486
- The manure professor?
- Not so loud.
852
00:43:56,510 --> 00:43:58,612
Hey, shut your mouth,
just remember the formula.
853
00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:01,097
Be sure you keep it well hidden.
854
00:44:01,121 --> 00:44:02,819
And listen,
don't tell anyone where it is.
855
00:44:02,843 --> 00:44:04,302
It's in my leather pants.
856
00:44:04,326 --> 00:44:06,310
Come on, let's go, get moving.
857
00:44:07,291 --> 00:44:08,894
Thank you for the pictures.
858
00:44:08,918 --> 00:44:11,306
How would you like
to have some fun baby, huh?
859
00:44:11,330 --> 00:44:13,998
- Taking photographs?
- No, we'll fuck.
860
00:44:14,022 --> 00:44:16,998
- I'm better at it than he is.
- I've got the biggest one in town.
861
00:44:17,022 --> 00:44:19,677
- Mine's much longer than his.
- Mine's a hell of a lot harder.
862
00:44:19,701 --> 00:44:21,592
Why don't you measure us all?
863
00:44:22,809 --> 00:44:24,888
Okay, but I'll only take
on the largest.
864
00:44:24,912 --> 00:44:26,680
How do you propose
we have this contest?
865
00:44:26,704 --> 00:44:27,990
Yeah, tell us!
866
00:44:28,014 --> 00:44:30,578
Ah well, now boys,
you just move back there,
867
00:44:30,602 --> 00:44:32,091
and drop your drawers
868
00:44:32,115 --> 00:44:35,106
and whichever one of you
has the biggest one gets me.
869
00:44:35,707 --> 00:44:36,821
Pants off!
870
00:44:36,845 --> 00:44:38,716
Ouch, it's caught in my zipper.
871
00:44:38,740 --> 00:44:40,233
Get buttons next time.
872
00:44:40,257 --> 00:44:41,405
Wait until you see
this one, honey.
873
00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:42,785
Measure me, I'm ready.
874
00:44:42,809 --> 00:44:44,623
- He's got a disease!
- Hey, look at me!
875
00:44:44,647 --> 00:44:46,017
You'll faint when you get
a look at my sausage!
876
00:44:46,041 --> 00:44:47,988
Wait for me! My pecker's
still caught in my zipper.
877
00:44:48,012 --> 00:44:48,786
Tough shit!
878
00:44:48,810 --> 00:44:50,488
[Claudia] My, you're all hung
like young bulls,
879
00:44:50,512 --> 00:44:51,777
I'll take you all on,
880
00:44:51,801 --> 00:44:53,297
but you'll have
to catch me first!
881
00:44:54,605 --> 00:44:56,401
- Come on, let's get her!
- Let's get her!
882
00:44:56,425 --> 00:44:58,095
[all shouting]
883
00:45:00,396 --> 00:45:02,308
- Get the hell out of my way!
- [woman screams]
884
00:45:02,332 --> 00:45:04,723
- What if Anna sees you?
- Mind your own business.
885
00:45:04,747 --> 00:45:07,102
That dumb cunt wouldn't know
where to find me anyway.
886
00:45:07,126 --> 00:45:08,177
Excuse me!
887
00:45:08,201 --> 00:45:10,408
Certainly. Hello, cutie,
enjoy yourself!
888
00:45:11,416 --> 00:45:13,177
Those guys'll fuck her blind.
889
00:45:15,404 --> 00:45:17,715
Wait, that's the spies.
After them!
890
00:45:20,815 --> 00:45:22,822
Our pants, we've been robbed!
891
00:45:22,846 --> 00:45:25,407
Okay, who's been robbed?
Move on, move on!
892
00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,568
Bugger off, Xaver!
Go give out a parking ticket.
893
00:45:27,592 --> 00:45:29,193
Come on! She went that a way!
894
00:45:30,714 --> 00:45:31,896
Those are mine!
895
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,887
Get outta the way, shitkicker,
you're coming with me!
896
00:45:36,911 --> 00:45:39,617
- Stop that man, he's a sex fiend!
- Isn't everybody in this movie?
897
00:45:39,641 --> 00:45:41,305
[grunting]
Let me get my panties.
898
00:45:45,191 --> 00:45:47,967
[grunts]
You're wasting your time...
899
00:45:47,991 --> 00:45:49,575
You're not my type!
900
00:45:49,599 --> 00:45:51,306
- Get in the car.
- You're hurting me!
901
00:45:51,330 --> 00:45:53,017
[groaning]
902
00:45:58,501 --> 00:46:00,691
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
Now I've got you.
903
00:46:00,715 --> 00:46:02,306
[Claudia yells]
904
00:46:02,330 --> 00:46:03,995
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my ankle.
905
00:46:04,019 --> 00:46:06,578
- Uh-huh! Got you, you spy!
- Let go of me, you fat pig!
906
00:46:06,602 --> 00:46:08,599
You won't get away
this time, cutie.
907
00:46:08,623 --> 00:46:10,903
- I'm gonna turn you over to the police!
- Get away from me you tub of lard!
908
00:46:10,927 --> 00:46:13,097
- They shoot spies, don't they?
- Get off me, fatso!
909
00:46:13,121 --> 00:46:14,588
Help! Rape!
910
00:46:14,612 --> 00:46:16,295
Help! Rape!
911
00:46:16,319 --> 00:46:17,996
You dirty old man,
you stop that!
912
00:46:18,187 --> 00:46:19,996
Get off that girl!
913
00:46:20,020 --> 00:46:21,584
I'm gonna get mad
and I'm coming!
914
00:46:21,608 --> 00:46:23,617
Hey Sandy, sock it to her!
915
00:46:23,641 --> 00:46:25,416
- What's the matter with you?
- Hello, Anna.
916
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,095
Are you going crazy?
917
00:46:27,119 --> 00:46:28,501
First you're running
around naked
918
00:46:28,525 --> 00:46:30,262
and now you're raping a girl
in broad daylight!
919
00:46:30,286 --> 00:46:31,498
- I'll lock you up again, now.
- I'm innocent!
920
00:46:31,522 --> 00:46:32,990
You march straight back
to the house!
921
00:46:33,014 --> 00:46:35,984
Uh, madam, madam,
there's been a misunderstanding.
922
00:46:36,008 --> 00:46:39,405
I think you ought to shut your mouth
and mind your own business.
923
00:46:39,429 --> 00:46:41,198
If you know what's good for you.
924
00:46:42,810 --> 00:46:45,681
- Are you out of your mind?
- Look! She's getting away! Let go!
925
00:46:45,705 --> 00:46:47,306
Are you completely mad?!
926
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,995
Stop this car, you lousy creep!
927
00:46:50,019 --> 00:46:51,809
- Wait till my uncle gets you!
- Sit down.
928
00:46:56,497 --> 00:46:58,303
Wait, where is she?
929
00:46:58,327 --> 00:46:59,392
- Follow me.
- What?
930
00:46:59,416 --> 00:47:00,885
- She went that-a-way!
- Let's get her!
931
00:47:02,298 --> 00:47:03,893
[Sandler]
She's headed for the barn!
932
00:47:03,917 --> 00:47:05,408
She ran that way.
933
00:47:05,432 --> 00:47:08,201
- Okay, you guys over there.
- Where did the man go?
934
00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:09,894
We'll get the man later,
come on.
935
00:47:12,396 --> 00:47:14,396
[Claudia panting]
936
00:47:19,203 --> 00:47:20,403
[Claudia grunts]
937
00:47:22,222 --> 00:47:23,929
Well, now that we're here...
938
00:47:24,708 --> 00:47:26,620
we can spend our time resting,
939
00:47:26,644 --> 00:47:28,196
unless you'd like
some hanky-panky.
940
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:31,065
Hanky-panky bullshit,
haven't you balled me enough?
941
00:47:31,089 --> 00:47:33,684
And now you might be
different, maybe.
942
00:47:34,121 --> 00:47:36,233
We've had enough
of you gangsters here.
943
00:47:36,257 --> 00:47:37,776
I'm not a gangster,
944
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,926
I'm an independent agent
for industry.
945
00:47:39,950 --> 00:47:42,822
Oh yeah? You expect me
to believe that story?
946
00:47:42,846 --> 00:47:45,996
Just promise me you won't run away
and I won't need to tie you.
947
00:47:46,020 --> 00:47:47,213
No shit.
948
00:47:48,191 --> 00:47:50,510
But I did enjoy
screwing you last night.
949
00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:52,203
You can only think of sex.
950
00:47:58,498 --> 00:48:00,411
You weren't any good anyway.
951
00:48:17,298 --> 00:48:19,096
This might make a good weapon.
952
00:48:19,798 --> 00:48:21,499
Agent 69, please come in.
953
00:48:22,222 --> 00:48:23,901
Agent 69, please come in!
954
00:48:24,195 --> 00:48:25,102
Take that!
955
00:48:25,126 --> 00:48:26,368
- What the hell?
- Hey, it's raining rice.
956
00:48:26,392 --> 00:48:27,684
Who's getting married?
957
00:48:27,708 --> 00:48:28,783
Take that, too!
958
00:48:28,807 --> 00:48:30,708
- Now it's apples.
- Must be an Italian marriage.
959
00:48:30,732 --> 00:48:32,097
[Sandler] I never thought
our act was that bad.
960
00:48:32,121 --> 00:48:33,411
And take these, too!
961
00:48:34,429 --> 00:48:36,405
- Now it's raining onions!
- Italian apples.
962
00:48:37,412 --> 00:48:39,363
[Sandler] Oh, let's go fellas,
let's get off stage.
963
00:48:39,387 --> 00:48:40,782
What's happened
to these young people?
964
00:48:40,806 --> 00:48:42,130
No respect for their elders!
965
00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:45,589
Stop already, they didn't throw
anything at us at the Aria!
966
00:48:46,119 --> 00:48:47,681
Okay, stop it already!
967
00:48:47,705 --> 00:48:50,026
The producer said we've gotta eat
these props for lunch!
968
00:48:50,050 --> 00:48:51,819
[loud crashing]
969
00:48:51,843 --> 00:48:53,573
[Sandler]
Come on, let's go, let's go!
970
00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:55,512
Super Dick, come in.
971
00:48:55,536 --> 00:48:57,401
Super Dick,
there are these men bugging me.
972
00:48:57,425 --> 00:49:00,094
Super Dick speaking.
973
00:49:00,118 --> 00:49:03,267
If it's that gas station attendant,
I have his niece hostage.
974
00:49:03,291 --> 00:49:06,203
So, did you listen
to what's coming down?
975
00:49:06,227 --> 00:49:08,312
Okay men, quickly,
close the door.
976
00:49:11,605 --> 00:49:14,518
Okay, agreed,
but don't hurt my niece.
977
00:49:14,912 --> 00:49:16,275
I'll do anything!
978
00:49:16,299 --> 00:49:19,812
And tell that gangster
I wanna speak to my niece,
979
00:49:19,836 --> 00:49:20,891
to Claudia!
980
00:49:20,915 --> 00:49:22,181
How horrible!
981
00:49:22,205 --> 00:49:24,405
How about letting me speak to her
on that thing there?
982
00:49:24,429 --> 00:49:26,897
Please, I've got to talk to her,
let me talk to her!
983
00:49:26,921 --> 00:49:28,878
Okay, I'll get her.
984
00:49:39,091 --> 00:49:40,299
Hello up there,
985
00:49:40,323 --> 00:49:42,408
you're uncle says
he wants to speak with you.
986
00:49:42,432 --> 00:49:45,216
Okay, I hope you got
a good look at my bush.
987
00:49:47,084 --> 00:49:48,686
That's the last
time you'll see it.
988
00:49:49,294 --> 00:49:51,722
[Claudia] Hurry, uncle,
this guy's gonna eat me for lunch!
989
00:49:52,288 --> 00:49:55,408
Claudia, I'm coming
with my friends, hold out!
990
00:49:55,432 --> 00:49:57,894
- I really am coming.
- You and your sex jokes.
991
00:49:57,918 --> 00:50:00,486
I didn't mean that, I mean that
we're coming to help, Claudia.
992
00:50:00,510 --> 00:50:02,197
- Where is the place?
- At the Gamson Elms.
993
00:50:02,221 --> 00:50:03,500
- Enough!
- [groans]
994
00:50:05,323 --> 00:50:09,049
Okay, I'm expecting
that you turn Sally loose, you hear?
995
00:50:09,073 --> 00:50:10,680
And the formula with her.
996
00:50:10,704 --> 00:50:13,615
Look, the microfilm
belongs to us, clear?
997
00:50:13,639 --> 00:50:15,813
Let's not do
anything hasty, fellas.
998
00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:18,302
It's worth millions.
999
00:50:18,326 --> 00:50:20,088
Remember, she's gonna be
your daughter in law.
1000
00:50:20,112 --> 00:50:21,779
Well, yeah,
but this is more important.
1001
00:50:21,803 --> 00:50:23,587
Oh, up your bladder!
1002
00:50:23,914 --> 00:50:25,777
Listen to me...
1003
00:50:25,801 --> 00:50:28,814
you two go to the Professor
and keep the formula safe.
1004
00:50:28,838 --> 00:50:29,888
We'll go get Claudia.
1005
00:50:29,912 --> 00:50:30,884
- Yeah, beautiful plan.
- Yeah.
1006
00:50:30,908 --> 00:50:32,196
Get moving men.
1007
00:50:32,605 --> 00:50:34,498
I've still got a trick or two
up my sleeve.
1008
00:50:34,914 --> 00:50:36,901
- And they think I'm stupid.
- Maybe they're right.
1009
00:50:37,707 --> 00:50:40,804
So, let's get you cute ass inside
and make a little love.
1010
00:50:40,828 --> 00:50:43,407
Forget last night 'cause I'll never
fuck you again, never again!
1011
00:50:43,431 --> 00:50:44,808
[door rattling]
1012
00:50:45,193 --> 00:50:47,100
Come on, Claudia, knock it off.
1013
00:50:47,124 --> 00:50:48,680
Be a sport, honey.
1014
00:50:48,704 --> 00:50:51,515
Open the door, remember how sweet
it was last night?
1015
00:50:52,498 --> 00:50:54,218
Open the gosh darn door!
1016
00:50:55,505 --> 00:50:57,788
Do you think this will stop me
you crazy twit?
1017
00:50:57,812 --> 00:50:59,684
Open this darn door!
1018
00:50:59,708 --> 00:51:02,288
- Hey Lois, come here!
- Hey, Lois! Stop! Stop!
1019
00:51:02,312 --> 00:51:03,996
Your sweet Claudia's
being held prisoner.
1020
00:51:04,020 --> 00:51:06,198
Yeah, she's being held
at the Gamson Elms.
1021
00:51:06,222 --> 00:51:07,509
- Can you get there quickly?
- Hurry.
1022
00:51:07,533 --> 00:51:08,612
The others aren't coming,
we're going back
1023
00:51:08,636 --> 00:51:09,607
to guard the Professor!
1024
00:51:09,631 --> 00:51:10,801
[all yelling]
1025
00:51:11,740 --> 00:51:12,791
Come along!
1026
00:51:12,815 --> 00:51:14,267
Ah, this is the easiest way
to get there.
1027
00:51:14,291 --> 00:51:15,306
You're right.
1028
00:51:15,912 --> 00:51:18,614
- It's operating, she can sit on my lap.
- What's the matter with my lap?
1029
00:51:18,638 --> 00:51:20,543
Look, it's my idea,
so she'll sit on mine--
1030
00:51:20,567 --> 00:51:22,094
[Sally] See you later, alligator!
1031
00:51:22,118 --> 00:51:24,200
Look what's happening!
We gotta try and stop her!
1032
00:51:24,224 --> 00:51:26,402
[Sally] Ta-ta, ta-ta! Ciao!
1033
00:51:26,426 --> 00:51:27,918
- Don't just stand there.
- What? Oh.
1034
00:51:27,942 --> 00:51:30,210
- Go after her!
- Stay there, stay there...
1035
00:51:30,234 --> 00:51:31,422
I got you.
1036
00:51:33,710 --> 00:51:35,480
Come on!
What are you waiting for?
1037
00:51:35,504 --> 00:51:37,960
- Come on! Come on!
- Oh shit, I'm coming.
1038
00:51:37,984 --> 00:51:40,798
- Get in the chair, you dumb fuck!
- Oh yes, a chair!
1039
00:51:40,822 --> 00:51:42,399
[grunting]
1040
00:51:52,910 --> 00:51:54,167
[chuckles]
1041
00:51:54,191 --> 00:51:56,802
Now, my little chickadee...
1042
00:51:56,826 --> 00:51:59,194
I'm sure to grab on to you!
[giggling]
1043
00:51:59,218 --> 00:52:00,509
Yes, naturally.
1044
00:52:00,533 --> 00:52:02,229
We'll catch up, yeah!
1045
00:52:04,016 --> 00:52:06,490
Faster, Huber!
We'll catch up with her!
1046
00:52:20,912 --> 00:52:22,707
Who was that? Evil Knievel?
1047
00:52:29,293 --> 00:52:31,347
[whimsical music]
1048
00:52:43,708 --> 00:52:44,995
Are you ready now?
1049
00:52:45,608 --> 00:52:46,797
I know you love me.
1050
00:52:46,821 --> 00:52:48,513
- Leave me alone, you bastard!
- Don't deny it.
1051
00:52:48,537 --> 00:52:49,888
I know you're crazy about me.
1052
00:52:49,912 --> 00:52:51,668
Stop pretending.
Come here, Claudia.
1053
00:52:51,692 --> 00:52:55,030
The other girl means nothing.
I'm yours alone my dearest!
1054
00:52:55,054 --> 00:52:56,573
Fly me to the moon!
1055
00:52:56,912 --> 00:52:59,109
[loud clattering]
1056
00:52:59,815 --> 00:53:01,678
Aw, my sweet
gentle little girl...
1057
00:53:01,702 --> 00:53:04,014
Wait for me!
We'll run away together, ouch!
1058
00:53:04,038 --> 00:53:06,311
- I love girls who play hard to get.
- [Claudia yells]
1059
00:53:06,335 --> 00:53:08,473
[laughing]
Got you, my little bird!
1060
00:53:08,497 --> 00:53:11,102
- Get away, you damn asshole!
- I love you madly.
1061
00:53:11,126 --> 00:53:13,323
- Come on, don't be coy.
- [Claudia grunting]
1062
00:53:13,347 --> 00:53:15,168
We'll slide down
the cellar door together,
1063
00:53:15,192 --> 00:53:16,794
just the two of us
my delicate one.
1064
00:53:16,818 --> 00:53:18,416
Can't you take a hint?!
1065
00:53:20,196 --> 00:53:22,221
Don't try to escape, Fräulein!
1066
00:53:22,245 --> 00:53:24,687
It won't do you any good!
We'll catch you anyway!
1067
00:53:24,711 --> 00:53:26,198
Fat chance, you slob!
1068
00:53:26,222 --> 00:53:27,992
We'll get you. Come on, Huber!
1069
00:53:28,016 --> 00:53:30,411
We'll get you before
we get to Gamson Elms!
1070
00:53:30,435 --> 00:53:32,197
Come back here, hey!
1071
00:53:32,221 --> 00:53:34,995
Hey, hey, hey! It's got me!
1072
00:53:35,019 --> 00:53:37,102
Hey, let go! Let go! Help!
1073
00:53:37,126 --> 00:53:38,887
Help! No, wait, help!
1074
00:53:38,911 --> 00:53:40,783
Look, she's getting away, Sandy.
1075
00:53:40,807 --> 00:53:42,986
Huber you've gotta help me.
I'm stuck, help!
1076
00:53:43,010 --> 00:53:45,821
- Where do you think you're going?
- Help me! Help me!
1077
00:53:45,845 --> 00:53:48,392
- [Sandler screaming]
- Wait for me, I'm rushing!
1078
00:53:48,786 --> 00:53:50,194
Come back here, Sandler!
1079
00:53:50,218 --> 00:53:52,296
I can't come back there.
Do something, idiot!
1080
00:53:53,013 --> 00:53:54,698
- You come here!
- Oh!
1081
00:53:54,722 --> 00:53:56,500
[grunting]
1082
00:53:57,605 --> 00:54:00,304
Hurry! You gotta help me!
I'm afraid of high places!
1083
00:54:00,328 --> 00:54:02,682
♪ There's a damsel
running in the grass ♪
1084
00:54:02,706 --> 00:54:05,198
♪ With gigantic titties
and a very gorgeous ass ♪
1085
00:54:05,222 --> 00:54:06,885
♪ I must light her fire ♪
1086
00:54:06,909 --> 00:54:09,819
♪ I'll play with her nipples
till she's burning with desire ♪
1087
00:54:09,843 --> 00:54:12,592
♪ I'll act cool and smart
and the fun will start ♪
1088
00:54:12,616 --> 00:54:15,319
♪ Oh-la-ree, oh-la-ra ♪
1089
00:54:15,812 --> 00:54:17,767
[grunting] Oh, my darling.
1090
00:54:17,791 --> 00:54:19,423
I know you didn't mean that.
1091
00:54:20,193 --> 00:54:22,693
Hey be careful with that,
you'll hurt yourself.
1092
00:54:23,086 --> 00:54:24,895
Round and round we go, whoops!
1093
00:54:27,502 --> 00:54:29,199
That's not the gun you want.
1094
00:54:29,607 --> 00:54:31,750
And now we are one, my love.
1095
00:54:32,207 --> 00:54:34,016
[Claudia grunting]
1096
00:54:39,709 --> 00:54:41,488
♪ I'll roll her titties
up and down ♪
1097
00:54:41,512 --> 00:54:42,989
♪ There'll be no undressing ♪
1098
00:54:43,013 --> 00:54:46,026
♪ I'll take off her gown
and look into her eyes ♪
1099
00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:48,848
♪ Shove my hand
right between her thighs ♪
1100
00:54:48,872 --> 00:54:51,698
♪ We'll be in the raw
laying on the straw ♪
1101
00:54:51,722 --> 00:54:54,409
♪ Oh-la-ree, oh-la-ra ♪
1102
00:54:56,397 --> 00:54:58,300
- Come here you. Get on!
- Go!
1103
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,599
- I don't ride with motorcycles.
- It sure beats walking, get on.
1104
00:55:03,395 --> 00:55:05,509
Okay then, get going. Move!
1105
00:55:08,906 --> 00:55:12,097
Help me! Help me!
I'm getting airsick!
1106
00:55:12,121 --> 00:55:14,311
Oh good,
I'm coming in for a landing.
1107
00:55:14,335 --> 00:55:16,581
Ah, thank god. Terra firma.
1108
00:55:16,605 --> 00:55:18,816
I'm coming, Sandy, don't worry!
1109
00:55:19,222 --> 00:55:22,612
I'll save you, hang in there!
Hang in there!
1110
00:55:25,119 --> 00:55:27,097
What a relief,
now I can get off this thing.
1111
00:55:27,121 --> 00:55:28,785
Now maybe I can get some help.
1112
00:55:28,809 --> 00:55:30,680
Hello? Huber, it's okay!
1113
00:55:30,704 --> 00:55:32,198
Now, let's just get this loose.
1114
00:55:32,222 --> 00:55:35,303
Oops! Who turned out the lights?
If I could only find the button!
1115
00:55:35,327 --> 00:55:37,501
[echoing]
Help! Is there anybody in here?
1116
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,789
Help, help!
Is there anybody in there?
1117
00:55:41,813 --> 00:55:44,617
If there's anybody in there,
shut this damn thing off!
1118
00:55:44,641 --> 00:55:46,598
Oh my god, shit!
1119
00:55:46,622 --> 00:55:49,201
Oh, motherfucking,
goddamn son of a bitch!
1120
00:55:49,225 --> 00:55:51,682
Why? Why did I ever
buy these silly pants?
1121
00:55:52,088 --> 00:55:54,585
Piss on it! Next time,
I'll take the fucking bus!
1122
00:55:55,119 --> 00:55:56,887
Hurry, Huber! Hurry!
1123
00:55:56,911 --> 00:55:58,582
Get ready to jerk me off!
1124
00:55:58,606 --> 00:56:00,389
I don't wanna go up again!
1125
00:56:01,884 --> 00:56:03,780
How come you didn't
get off at the station?
1126
00:56:03,804 --> 00:56:05,996
Because, you fucking idiot,
I like it here!
1127
00:56:06,395 --> 00:56:08,995
Now, come on!
Stop asking me dumb questions!
1128
00:56:09,019 --> 00:56:10,302
Just get me down!
1129
00:56:10,326 --> 00:56:12,515
Oh, what have I done
to deserve this?
1130
00:56:12,539 --> 00:56:15,293
- Hold on, Sandy, I'm coming, I'm coming!
- Hurry, she's getting away!
1131
00:56:15,317 --> 00:56:17,196
Getting away? She's gone.
1132
00:56:17,220 --> 00:56:19,798
Forget it, nevermind.
1133
00:56:19,822 --> 00:56:21,078
I've had it.
1134
00:56:21,605 --> 00:56:23,612
Piss on it, go on home.
1135
00:56:23,636 --> 00:56:25,236
I'm happy. I'm happy!
1136
00:56:25,260 --> 00:56:27,305
With friends like you,
who needs enemies?
1137
00:56:27,329 --> 00:56:30,510
It's very easy for you down there,
but what about me up here?
1138
00:56:30,534 --> 00:56:32,366
But you don't care about me,
I'm a bird!
1139
00:56:32,390 --> 00:56:34,313
I'm a big ass bird!
Next, I'll lay eggs!
1140
00:56:34,337 --> 00:56:36,630
Cluck, cluck! Cock-a-doodle-doo!
1141
00:56:37,121 --> 00:56:39,426
[panting and groaning]
1142
00:56:41,708 --> 00:56:44,785
♪ I'll keep diddling
the wench all day ♪
1143
00:56:44,809 --> 00:56:47,681
♪ In the hottest,
most passionate lay ♪
1144
00:56:47,705 --> 00:56:49,336
♪ And when my blimp goes limp ♪
1145
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:53,895
♪ I'll roll her over and say
"Please, let me get hard again" ♪
1146
00:56:53,919 --> 00:56:57,036
♪ Oh-la-ree, oh-la-ra ♪
1147
00:56:57,294 --> 00:56:59,896
Come on, grab me quick!
Huber, grab hold of my legs!
1148
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:01,575
Slow down! Slow down!
1149
00:57:01,599 --> 00:57:04,371
Oh, what the hell, forget it.
I like it up here anyway.
1150
00:57:04,395 --> 00:57:07,279
I'll fly to Capastrano,
you go on home. Go on!
1151
00:57:07,303 --> 00:57:11,102
♪ Up we go
into the wild blue yonder flying... ♪
1152
00:57:16,815 --> 00:57:18,201
Aw, huh!
1153
00:57:20,506 --> 00:57:22,618
I'll show her,
two can play at it.
1154
00:57:22,642 --> 00:57:24,720
[Claudia moaning]
1155
00:57:24,744 --> 00:57:26,513
We'll show them
they're not so great.
1156
00:57:26,537 --> 00:57:27,697
Come here!
1157
00:57:28,708 --> 00:57:30,113
Oh!
1158
00:57:31,503 --> 00:57:33,917
What are you-- Stop it!
1159
00:57:34,291 --> 00:57:36,186
- What do you think you're doing?
- Come on, we'll show 'em.
1160
00:57:36,921 --> 00:57:38,680
[Cow] What the hell
are they doing lying down?
1161
00:57:38,704 --> 00:57:41,130
Put me down you goddamn,
motherfucking machine!
1162
00:57:41,154 --> 00:57:44,305
Hold it! I said put me down,
goddamn it!
1163
00:57:44,329 --> 00:57:46,384
Huber, help!
1164
00:57:46,408 --> 00:57:49,299
Get me off this damn thing!
I'll get killed!
1165
00:57:50,085 --> 00:57:52,095
Huber, stop this god damn thing!
1166
00:57:52,119 --> 00:57:53,684
Well, why didn't you push
the stop button?
1167
00:57:53,708 --> 00:57:55,205
- What?
- The stop button!
1168
00:57:55,229 --> 00:57:58,099
How the hell could I push it?
For Christ's sake, you go push it!
1169
00:57:58,123 --> 00:57:59,924
Have you got shit for brains?
1170
00:57:59,948 --> 00:58:01,612
[Sandler screaming]
1171
00:58:01,636 --> 00:58:04,405
- Sandler you're safe?
- Land, beautiful land, thank god.
1172
00:58:04,429 --> 00:58:06,615
- Did you break anything?
- I think I broke my ass.
1173
00:58:06,639 --> 00:58:08,470
You shouldn't be
doing things like that.
1174
00:58:08,494 --> 00:58:10,407
You're too old to learn to fly.
1175
00:58:10,431 --> 00:58:12,305
Grow up,
you'll get a heart attack.
1176
00:58:12,329 --> 00:58:14,091
Up there everything
looks lovely.
1177
00:58:14,115 --> 00:58:15,402
What do we do now?
1178
00:58:15,426 --> 00:58:17,990
The spies, I saw the spies.
Come on, come on!
1179
00:58:18,014 --> 00:58:19,796
- I'm coming.
- Let's get them, hurry.
1180
00:58:20,189 --> 00:58:22,599
Just what the doctor ordered,
take one.
1181
00:58:23,993 --> 00:58:25,411
What if they have a gun?
1182
00:58:25,435 --> 00:58:27,308
Well, we'll stick 'em,
they'll be surprised.
1183
00:58:27,332 --> 00:58:30,130
We'll go get Claudia and then
haul ass back to the Professor.
1184
00:58:30,154 --> 00:58:31,711
- Let's go!
- Come on!
1185
00:58:34,989 --> 00:58:36,789
I'll show him who's
the better peasant pumper
1186
00:58:36,813 --> 00:58:38,582
around this freaking place!
1187
00:58:38,819 --> 00:58:41,385
Let's show him our speed.
Hmm? How about that?
1188
00:58:43,298 --> 00:58:44,821
There they are, get down.
1189
00:58:45,707 --> 00:58:47,112
Okay, come on.
1190
00:58:50,294 --> 00:58:51,393
Aha!
1191
00:58:51,417 --> 00:58:52,618
Ah, shh.
1192
00:58:52,642 --> 00:58:54,574
Here, look. I'm gonna put
this hat on the fork
1193
00:58:54,598 --> 00:58:56,605
and maybe they'll take
a crack at it.
1194
00:59:03,988 --> 00:59:05,108
Phew.
1195
00:59:06,019 --> 00:59:07,888
- They didn't shoot.
- They're just laying each other.
1196
00:59:07,912 --> 00:59:09,172
What?
1197
00:59:09,196 --> 00:59:11,789
- Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.
- We'll stick 'em in their damn asses.
1198
00:59:11,813 --> 00:59:13,559
You go around there,
I'll go this way.
1199
00:59:13,583 --> 00:59:15,617
[whimsical music]
1200
00:59:21,293 --> 00:59:22,993
Stop it this instant, you rapist.
1201
00:59:23,717 --> 00:59:25,295
[Sandler] You oughta be shot!
1202
00:59:25,612 --> 00:59:26,897
This shagging...
1203
00:59:26,921 --> 00:59:28,899
we can't put up with you
acting this way!
1204
00:59:29,395 --> 00:59:30,957
You oughta be
ashamed of yourself.
1205
00:59:30,981 --> 00:59:32,578
I'm mature enough
to fend for myself.
1206
00:59:32,602 --> 00:59:34,614
So stop all this bullshit.
Go fuck off.
1207
00:59:34,638 --> 00:59:36,229
Now, that's enough.
1208
00:59:37,607 --> 00:59:38,675
Hmm...
1209
00:59:38,699 --> 00:59:40,506
You know, she's got
some good points there.
1210
00:59:40,530 --> 00:59:41,891
[Anna] Hmm!
1211
00:59:41,915 --> 00:59:44,893
And there's a second point,
it's between your two legs.
1212
00:59:44,917 --> 00:59:47,117
And that's the thing
that starts your problems.
1213
00:59:47,714 --> 00:59:48,785
Just like a house cat.
1214
00:59:48,809 --> 00:59:51,305
Well, you go around
trying to hose strange dames,
1215
00:59:51,329 --> 00:59:52,612
prone-boning whatever you find.
1216
00:59:52,636 --> 00:59:54,368
Suppose you tell me
what I'm guilty of?
1217
00:59:54,392 --> 00:59:56,893
- You know very well what I'm saying.
- You have no respect.
1218
00:59:58,605 --> 01:00:00,096
[groaning]
1219
01:00:01,017 --> 01:00:02,599
It's time to shove off.
1220
01:00:03,112 --> 01:00:04,801
I'll be at the bar with the boys.
1221
01:00:07,602 --> 01:00:09,718
And, and--
And you stay in your room!
1222
01:00:09,742 --> 01:00:10,728
[Claudia] No.
1223
01:00:10,752 --> 01:00:12,411
Now, you obey me!
Stay in the house!
1224
01:00:12,435 --> 01:00:13,794
[Claudia] No!
1225
01:00:13,818 --> 01:00:14,753
Yes!
1226
01:00:14,777 --> 01:00:16,012
[Claudia] No!
1227
01:00:16,809 --> 01:00:18,615
Anna, will you talk to her?
1228
01:00:21,317 --> 01:00:22,996
When are you going to stop this?
1229
01:00:23,020 --> 01:00:26,490
Your problem is you will never
find a husband this way.
1230
01:00:26,947 --> 01:00:30,815
If you don't get your head in order,
I'll stick you in a cloister.
1231
01:00:31,821 --> 01:00:34,582
Don't lay that on me,
they wouldn't have me.
1232
01:00:34,606 --> 01:00:36,716
Well, you're in love with Lois.
1233
01:00:36,740 --> 01:00:38,783
Yeah, but there's no way
he'd marry me now.
1234
01:00:38,807 --> 01:00:40,408
Ah, he'll forgive in a minute.
1235
01:00:40,432 --> 01:00:42,405
Just use a little
enchantment on him.
1236
01:00:42,809 --> 01:00:44,130
Yes but how?
1237
01:00:44,154 --> 01:00:46,306
The same way I bagged
your dear uncle.
1238
01:00:46,330 --> 01:00:48,407
You know, he didn't want me
either at first.
1239
01:00:48,431 --> 01:00:50,514
Well then, you must
tell me your secret.
1240
01:00:51,322 --> 01:00:53,094
[Anna] Dance and fuck.
1241
01:00:53,118 --> 01:00:55,101
[men laughing cheerfully]
1242
01:00:55,125 --> 01:00:57,597
I drink to you all,
meine herren. Ja!
1243
01:00:57,621 --> 01:00:59,089
- There's mud in your eye!
- Down the hatch!
1244
01:00:59,113 --> 01:01:02,192
And after we're rich, professor,
maybe we'll form a sheikhdom.
1245
01:01:02,809 --> 01:01:04,401
Hmm, sheikdom, good idea.
1246
01:01:04,425 --> 01:01:06,296
And then we'll sell all the gas
to the Americans.
1247
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:08,509
They already buy our shit.
[laughs]
1248
01:01:08,533 --> 01:01:10,890
And by the time
the Arabs find out...
1249
01:01:10,914 --> 01:01:13,003
we'll all be as rich
as Rockefeller!
1250
01:01:13,027 --> 01:01:15,005
[all laughing]
1251
01:01:16,398 --> 01:01:19,309
Oh boy, we'll build ourselves
a harem here.
1252
01:01:19,986 --> 01:01:22,788
Listen Doctor, when Huber drops in
for a piece of ass,
1253
01:01:22,812 --> 01:01:24,887
we'll grease up the goat,
he'll never know the difference!
1254
01:01:24,911 --> 01:01:26,996
Believe me, I'm so thankful,
meine herren...
1255
01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:30,987
You have saved me from the hands
of those unscrupulous people.
1256
01:01:31,602 --> 01:01:33,476
Are you sure you
locked up the suspects?
1257
01:01:33,500 --> 01:01:34,785
You bet your sweet ass.
1258
01:01:34,809 --> 01:01:36,569
We've got to get out
and get the formula back
1259
01:01:36,593 --> 01:01:38,923
or the company will have us
cleaning toilets again!
1260
01:01:38,947 --> 01:01:41,099
- Uh-huh.
- Can't wait to blow this hick town.
1261
01:01:41,123 --> 01:01:42,684
Yeah, that's all right with me.
1262
01:01:42,708 --> 01:01:45,785
I'd like to get out of this sewer
and back to Berlin.
1263
01:01:45,809 --> 01:01:46,854
Yeah.
1264
01:01:46,878 --> 01:01:48,019
Unbelievable.
1265
01:01:50,257 --> 01:01:52,473
Think of something, Super Dick.
1266
01:01:52,497 --> 01:01:55,388
I've done everything I can possibly
think of to do, you smarty.
1267
01:01:55,412 --> 01:01:57,714
You got any good ideas?
Go and try 'em out.
1268
01:01:58,807 --> 01:02:00,884
Aw, you poor little boy.
1269
01:02:01,703 --> 01:02:04,287
Watch this and see
what a woman can do.
1270
01:02:04,707 --> 01:02:06,582
What are you gonna do,
give a little head?
1271
01:02:06,606 --> 01:02:08,391
[knocking] Lois! Hey, Lois!
1272
01:02:08,912 --> 01:02:10,594
I have something to give you.
1273
01:02:11,085 --> 01:02:13,496
If you let me out of here
I'll give you a hand job.
1274
01:02:13,989 --> 01:02:16,099
[Lois] Be still
and shut your big mouth.
1275
01:02:16,607 --> 01:02:19,679
Ha ha... I guess you didn't make
a very good impression on him,
1276
01:02:19,703 --> 01:02:21,204
hot pants.
1277
01:02:21,228 --> 01:02:23,033
Kiss my ass.
1278
01:02:23,814 --> 01:02:26,710
You women think your bodies
can get you anything, ha!
1279
01:02:27,296 --> 01:02:30,198
I hope in the next war
the Americans have you Italians.
1280
01:02:30,222 --> 01:02:31,375
What are you talking about?
1281
01:02:31,399 --> 01:02:33,196
I do all of the work
and you foul it up.
1282
01:02:33,220 --> 01:02:35,401
You haven't got me
a piece of ass yet, have you?
1283
01:02:35,425 --> 01:02:37,320
Hey there! Hello, handsome.
1284
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:41,377
Please, help me,
I'm locked up here.
1285
01:02:41,401 --> 01:02:43,372
That is the one I want.
1286
01:02:43,396 --> 01:02:44,623
What did I tell you?
1287
01:02:44,647 --> 01:02:47,397
I have solved the problem,
I did it, watch me.
1288
01:02:47,711 --> 01:02:49,720
Buongiorno, signorina!
1289
01:02:49,744 --> 01:02:52,302
I'm locked in here,
could you get me out?
1290
01:02:52,709 --> 01:02:54,614
I'd be sweet to you both.
1291
01:02:54,638 --> 01:02:56,896
You bet your life I can do it,
signorina.
1292
01:02:56,920 --> 01:02:58,013
Come on.
1293
01:03:00,707 --> 01:03:01,700
Come.
1294
01:03:02,810 --> 01:03:04,113
A-lay-oop!
1295
01:03:07,607 --> 01:03:09,000
Up we go.
1296
01:03:10,191 --> 01:03:11,636
A little higher.
1297
01:03:13,816 --> 01:03:15,769
[Sally] Do you happen to have
a hacksaw with you?
1298
01:03:15,793 --> 01:03:17,086
- No.
- How come?
1299
01:03:17,110 --> 01:03:18,895
Then rip the bars out.
1300
01:03:18,919 --> 01:03:20,305
[Tino grunting]
1301
01:03:20,329 --> 01:03:22,299
You don't seem to be
strong enough to do it.
1302
01:03:22,708 --> 01:03:25,502
[in Italian]
Not me, but my friend does, eh?
1303
01:03:26,918 --> 01:03:28,090
[grunting]
1304
01:03:31,712 --> 01:03:33,993
Listen Emil, it's now your turn.
1305
01:03:34,017 --> 01:03:35,647
Well, I've done
everything I can do.
1306
01:03:35,671 --> 01:03:37,403
Listen to me,
get up on my shoulders,
1307
01:03:37,427 --> 01:03:38,680
I'll lift you up.
1308
01:03:38,704 --> 01:03:40,016
[Emil] Yeah, sure.
1309
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:41,985
[grunting]
1310
01:03:43,915 --> 01:03:45,673
Hurry, I'll get a hernia.
1311
01:03:46,097 --> 01:03:48,119
[whimsical music]
1312
01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:50,526
- [grunting]
- [bars creaking]
1313
01:03:55,917 --> 01:03:58,303
Oh, my hero!
1314
01:03:58,327 --> 01:04:00,614
I'm Emil, what's your name?
1315
01:04:00,638 --> 01:04:02,505
- Sally.
- [Emil] Easy does it...
1316
01:04:03,018 --> 01:04:05,804
Be careful Sally, there we go.
1317
01:04:07,310 --> 01:04:08,411
[Sally] Oh!
1318
01:04:09,915 --> 01:04:11,614
Ah, thank you so much.
1319
01:04:11,638 --> 01:04:14,017
- [Emil] You're welcome, Sally.
- [Sally] Here's a kiss for you.
1320
01:04:14,705 --> 01:04:17,102
But... [cursing in Italian]
1321
01:04:17,126 --> 01:04:19,198
- What is this? An escalator?
- Bye bye!
1322
01:04:19,222 --> 01:04:20,296
Come on!
1323
01:04:23,091 --> 01:04:24,694
[Tino grunting]
1324
01:04:27,191 --> 01:04:28,798
She's certainly ungrateful.
1325
01:04:29,326 --> 01:04:32,094
Yeah, maybe she wasn't
the right girl after all.
1326
01:04:32,118 --> 01:04:34,203
[upbeat music]
1327
01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:43,099
♪ She's got the sweetest fanny
in town ♪
1328
01:04:43,123 --> 01:04:46,405
♪ Her bottom
is sheer perfection ♪
1329
01:04:46,429 --> 01:04:49,405
♪ Even the bull
can't keep it down ♪
1330
01:04:49,429 --> 01:04:52,489
- Hi Lois, what you doing?
- Go away and leave me alone.
1331
01:04:53,326 --> 01:04:56,579
♪ She goes ruck, ruck, ruck
and a chuck-a-luck ♪
1332
01:04:56,603 --> 01:04:58,099
♪ She drives them crazy
grinding... ♪
1333
01:04:58,123 --> 01:05:00,084
- You don't love me anymore.
- I told you to let me alone.
1334
01:05:00,108 --> 01:05:01,498
We're finished.
1335
01:05:02,809 --> 01:05:05,400
Aw, come on, Lois,
show it to me.
1336
01:05:07,088 --> 01:05:09,305
- Come on. That's not very nice.
- Is it still there?
1337
01:05:09,917 --> 01:05:11,107
We're finished.
1338
01:05:11,709 --> 01:05:12,802
Uh-huh.
1339
01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:18,998
♪ She's got the sweetest fanny
in town ♪
1340
01:05:19,022 --> 01:05:20,016
A pity.
1341
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:22,893
♪ All the Dickies and Peters
start jumping... ♪
1342
01:05:22,917 --> 01:05:23,909
[Lois] Claudia!
1343
01:05:24,916 --> 01:05:26,513
[Claudia] What do you want?
1344
01:05:26,537 --> 01:05:28,513
- What an ass.
- [Claudia] Well, Lois?
1345
01:05:28,537 --> 01:05:30,093
You're not really leaving?
1346
01:05:30,605 --> 01:05:33,512
I've only been warming up
the oven for you, my dear.
1347
01:05:33,536 --> 01:05:35,479
- How 'bout it?
- That's different.
1348
01:05:35,503 --> 01:05:36,677
[Claudia] Come and get it!
1349
01:05:36,701 --> 01:05:38,401
[both laughing]
1350
01:05:38,994 --> 01:05:40,785
You weren't kidding,
you're really ready!
1351
01:05:40,809 --> 01:05:42,806
[Claudia] I just loves
hot sausages!
1352
01:05:43,712 --> 01:05:44,796
Someone told me
1353
01:05:44,820 --> 01:05:46,898
in people don't pay
their garbage bill in Poland...
1354
01:05:46,922 --> 01:05:48,211
then they don't get any!
1355
01:05:48,235 --> 01:05:49,194
[laughing]
1356
01:05:49,218 --> 01:05:51,014
And also all their dogs
get flat heads
1357
01:05:51,038 --> 01:05:53,116
from chasing parked cars!
[laughing]
1358
01:05:53,140 --> 01:05:55,807
I feel sick, meine herren.
I'm going to throw up.
1359
01:05:57,220 --> 01:05:58,388
Excuse me.
1360
01:06:00,188 --> 01:06:01,785
Just don't do it on me.
1361
01:06:01,809 --> 01:06:04,093
I think I'll go check
on the spies.
1362
01:06:05,114 --> 01:06:07,098
Boy I'll be a millionaire.
1363
01:06:07,122 --> 01:06:08,716
You? Me!
1364
01:06:09,217 --> 01:06:11,105
You? We're all in!
1365
01:06:14,293 --> 01:06:15,593
Let me tell you...
1366
01:06:17,006 --> 01:06:18,408
I got a secret.
1367
01:06:18,432 --> 01:06:20,109
Don't tell me that nonsense.
1368
01:06:22,290 --> 01:06:25,233
I'm Polish,
and I'll remember this, Doc.
1369
01:06:30,191 --> 01:06:32,388
[Claudia] Give it to me, harder.
1370
01:06:32,606 --> 01:06:35,305
[moaning] More sausage.
Now you're...
1371
01:06:35,329 --> 01:06:36,693
Please excuse me.
1372
01:06:38,599 --> 01:06:40,797
[Claudia] Faster Lois,
sock it to me.
1373
01:06:41,119 --> 01:06:42,899
What's this? With Claudia?
1374
01:06:43,985 --> 01:06:45,001
Lois!
1375
01:06:45,025 --> 01:06:46,617
Aw Xaver,
we're only playing Doctor.
1376
01:06:46,641 --> 01:06:47,403
Lois!
1377
01:06:47,427 --> 01:06:48,578
- Shame!
- Don't yell at me.
1378
01:06:48,602 --> 01:06:50,097
Shameless floozy.
1379
01:06:50,121 --> 01:06:52,709
While you're doing that,
the spies could be getting out of here!
1380
01:06:54,609 --> 01:06:55,999
They have escaped!
1381
01:06:56,023 --> 01:06:57,413
While you two were fornicating,
1382
01:06:57,437 --> 01:06:59,296
the spies have gotten out
and you didn't even look!
1383
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:01,017
I'm holding you responsible!
1384
01:07:02,124 --> 01:07:03,407
I had 'em locked up there.
1385
01:07:03,431 --> 01:07:05,092
Yeah, that instrument
of the devil there,
1386
01:07:05,116 --> 01:07:06,375
that's the cause
of the whole thing.
1387
01:07:06,399 --> 01:07:07,879
- I'm gonna smash it!
- [loud boing]
1388
01:07:07,903 --> 01:07:09,273
Smashed!
Now, what do you think of that?
1389
01:07:09,297 --> 01:07:10,515
Heh, it was yours.
1390
01:07:10,539 --> 01:07:12,407
Mine? Don't get fresh
with the law.
1391
01:07:12,431 --> 01:07:14,085
Go inside, go!
1392
01:07:14,109 --> 01:07:15,783
You too! Come on, let's go!
1393
01:07:15,807 --> 01:07:18,101
Move it, move it, move it!
Show some respect for the law.
1394
01:07:20,778 --> 01:07:23,306
Nobody has any respect
for the law around here.
1395
01:07:23,985 --> 01:07:25,722
I might as well give the alarm.
1396
01:07:25,746 --> 01:07:28,405
Hurry baby,
the sausage isn't cooked yet.
1397
01:07:28,429 --> 01:07:30,513
I hope the oven's still warm.
1398
01:07:31,326 --> 01:07:33,196
Xaver's so dumb,
it took him five minutes
1399
01:07:33,220 --> 01:07:35,164
to figure out what
we were doing.
1400
01:07:35,188 --> 01:07:37,286
[both chuckle]
1401
01:07:40,608 --> 01:07:42,410
[Claudia] Honey,
tell me something.
1402
01:07:42,434 --> 01:07:44,267
[Lois] Anything baby.
1403
01:07:44,291 --> 01:07:46,618
[Claudia] Do you always screw
with your socks on?
1404
01:07:46,642 --> 01:07:49,411
[all cheering]
1405
01:07:49,435 --> 01:07:50,822
[Doc] Bottoms up!
1406
01:07:50,846 --> 01:07:52,997
[cheerful traditional music]
1407
01:07:57,609 --> 01:07:58,605
Bottoms up!
1408
01:08:01,403 --> 01:08:04,788
Hey! Xaver just told me
the prisoners have escaped.
1409
01:08:04,812 --> 01:08:07,016
So? Come on, let me see.
1410
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:10,019
- The Professor's in danger!
- Oh my god, the formula!
1411
01:08:10,398 --> 01:08:12,789
He shouldn't be alone,
we gotta protect him.
1412
01:08:13,119 --> 01:08:14,791
Hey, wait for me!
1413
01:08:14,815 --> 01:08:17,293
Oh fellas, wait! The act
hasn't even started yet!
1414
01:08:17,912 --> 01:08:20,104
Forget about them sweetheart,
let's ball.
1415
01:08:20,128 --> 01:08:21,893
- [laughing]
- Why not?
1416
01:08:21,917 --> 01:08:24,031
[both laughing]
1417
01:08:24,055 --> 01:08:25,510
When am I gonna get laid?
1418
01:08:25,534 --> 01:08:28,923
Everybody in this movie screws
everyone else except me.
1419
01:08:28,947 --> 01:08:31,411
Just be patient.
You'll get yours, too.
1420
01:08:31,435 --> 01:08:34,474
I'm running out of time,
we're in the eighth reel already.
1421
01:08:34,498 --> 01:08:36,305
Ah, you'll get a shot at it.
1422
01:08:36,329 --> 01:08:38,411
There, there she is.
1423
01:08:38,435 --> 01:08:41,026
[romantic music]
1424
01:08:44,708 --> 01:08:46,620
You wait here
and I'll be right back.
1425
01:08:46,644 --> 01:08:48,691
[whimsical music]
1426
01:08:55,498 --> 01:08:57,100
[feet tapping]
1427
01:08:58,296 --> 01:09:01,114
- [speaking Italian]
- Oh no, no, no! I don't want to!
1428
01:09:01,138 --> 01:09:03,306
Leave me alone,
you nasty little midget!
1429
01:09:04,817 --> 01:09:06,809
[Tino] Let me feel
your Bavarian bush.
1430
01:09:07,194 --> 01:09:09,098
- [Blonde girl] How's this.
- Oh, mamma mia!
1431
01:09:10,498 --> 01:09:11,814
[Tino choking]
1432
01:09:14,017 --> 01:09:16,017
[romantic music]
1433
01:09:21,090 --> 01:09:22,790
Mm-hmm...
1434
01:09:39,705 --> 01:09:41,310
[coughing]
1435
01:09:46,121 --> 01:09:47,825
What is all this bullshit?
1436
01:09:47,849 --> 01:09:49,106
It's bullshit!
1437
01:09:50,286 --> 01:09:51,787
It really is!
1438
01:09:53,016 --> 01:09:55,043
[liquid bubbling]
1439
01:10:02,194 --> 01:10:04,200
It needs a little
something more.
1440
01:10:07,603 --> 01:10:09,505
Do you happen
to have some pepper?
1441
01:10:10,220 --> 01:10:11,496
Pepper?
1442
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:13,788
That's all it needs now,
is pepper?
1443
01:10:13,812 --> 01:10:15,912
Nein, that's only for this.
1444
01:10:24,817 --> 01:10:25,812
Ow!
1445
01:10:26,915 --> 01:10:28,491
Watch the noise, stupid.
1446
01:10:28,915 --> 01:10:30,793
What do you think
they're doing out there?
1447
01:10:31,293 --> 01:10:33,305
They're guarding
the drug store, jackass.
1448
01:10:33,329 --> 01:10:35,298
Gosh! Then the Professor
must be in there.
1449
01:10:37,711 --> 01:10:40,085
Wait, there's nobody
guarding the back door.
1450
01:10:40,109 --> 01:10:42,099
Doc, you go
around the rear, quick!
1451
01:10:42,123 --> 01:10:43,206
Okay, chief.
1452
01:10:43,230 --> 01:10:44,395
Yes, you go!
1453
01:10:44,419 --> 01:10:46,108
I'm in charge here,
don't you forget that.
1454
01:10:47,191 --> 01:10:49,200
Now we know
where the Professor is hiding.
1455
01:10:49,224 --> 01:10:50,998
How do we get the formula?
1456
01:10:51,022 --> 01:10:52,415
I don't know.
1457
01:10:53,019 --> 01:10:54,411
I have to think.
1458
01:10:54,435 --> 01:10:56,522
[whimsical music]
1459
01:11:01,191 --> 01:11:03,092
[Heiner] I guess I know
what that means.
1460
01:11:03,812 --> 01:11:06,204
I wish you could think on your feet
like everybody else,
1461
01:11:06,228 --> 01:11:07,997
instead of on the flat
of your back.
1462
01:11:16,088 --> 01:11:19,109
- Once more into the breech.
- [breathing heavily] You said it.
1463
01:11:22,094 --> 01:11:23,890
[Professor] Ah yes,
I thought of how to make
1464
01:11:23,914 --> 01:11:25,691
gasoline out of bullshit
1465
01:11:25,715 --> 01:11:27,687
when I worked for
the Pentagon in Washington.
1466
01:11:27,711 --> 01:11:29,417
[dripping noise]
1467
01:11:36,500 --> 01:11:38,995
Well, I'll be a chimpanzee,
it works!
1468
01:11:40,022 --> 01:11:40,897
Phew!
1469
01:11:40,921 --> 01:11:41,788
[chuckles]
1470
01:11:41,812 --> 01:11:43,587
It stinks in here, like a...
1471
01:11:43,611 --> 01:11:45,902
Like a refinery!
1472
01:11:46,671 --> 01:11:49,305
Yeah, we're almost
finished actually.
1473
01:11:49,713 --> 01:11:51,785
It must boil a little longer.
1474
01:11:51,809 --> 01:11:53,109
Ah.
1475
01:11:53,133 --> 01:11:56,198
And then, of course, we must add
a few more ingredients.
1476
01:11:56,222 --> 01:11:57,890
Isn't this very expensive?
1477
01:11:57,914 --> 01:11:59,918
I found that the path to riches
1478
01:11:59,942 --> 01:12:02,782
often requires that the seeker
invest a little bit of money.
1479
01:12:02,806 --> 01:12:04,510
Yeah, of course, that's right.
1480
01:12:04,534 --> 01:12:06,789
And what'll we call it?
It has to have a name.
1481
01:12:07,911 --> 01:12:10,092
Oh? "Horseshit regular."
1482
01:12:10,116 --> 01:12:12,195
Heh, heh, heh.
There is also Horseshit--
1483
01:12:12,219 --> 01:12:14,197
- [Sandler] Oopa!
- Don't touch that!
1484
01:12:14,605 --> 01:12:16,309
- Stupid!
- Woah, woah, woah...
1485
01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:18,401
Hey Professor, I promise,
1486
01:12:19,533 --> 01:12:21,368
I promise,
I'll never do it again!
1487
01:12:21,392 --> 01:12:23,907
[Heiner grunts] I'm tired.
1488
01:12:27,707 --> 01:12:29,412
Have you got an idea yet?
1489
01:12:31,917 --> 01:12:34,091
Oh, it's almost come.
1490
01:12:34,515 --> 01:12:36,688
[moaning]
1491
01:12:42,194 --> 01:12:43,593
[chickens clucking]
1492
01:12:44,794 --> 01:12:46,195
Oh...
1493
01:12:48,291 --> 01:12:50,900
- I've got a big idea.
- [Heiner] Thank god.
1494
01:12:54,914 --> 01:12:56,806
[suspenseful music]
1495
01:13:03,607 --> 01:13:05,618
Halt! Where do you think
you're going?
1496
01:13:05,642 --> 01:13:07,817
The Professor ordered some eggs.
1497
01:13:09,398 --> 01:13:11,636
Eggs, now he wants eggs?
1498
01:13:12,464 --> 01:13:13,489
Blegh!
1499
01:13:14,017 --> 01:13:15,305
Fresh eggs.
1500
01:13:15,329 --> 01:13:17,407
Mother, come, you can go in.
1501
01:13:17,431 --> 01:13:18,854
[Sally] Thank you.
1502
01:13:22,119 --> 01:13:24,099
[dripping noise]
1503
01:13:25,893 --> 01:13:29,405
Now that I'm a millionaire,
I'm gonna buy a Cadillac.
1504
01:13:30,429 --> 01:13:32,289
It smells like money. Ha, ha!
1505
01:13:32,313 --> 01:13:34,861
Please, do you want
to blow us all up?
1506
01:13:34,885 --> 01:13:37,135
Professor,
I just wasn't thinking.
1507
01:13:37,159 --> 01:13:39,998
Pardon me, please,
here are your eggs.
1508
01:13:40,022 --> 01:13:41,902
- Shh! Go away, lady!
- Go lady, go!
1509
01:13:42,293 --> 01:13:44,921
I can't be bothered,
wait over there, over there.
1510
01:13:50,813 --> 01:13:53,672
Amazing, the most plentiful thing
in the world is bullshit
1511
01:13:53,696 --> 01:13:55,898
and we make it into gas!
Isn't it marvelous?
1512
01:13:57,019 --> 01:13:58,601
Professor Schweinstein!
1513
01:13:59,710 --> 01:14:02,180
It just takes a little
of this pure, um...
1514
01:14:02,204 --> 01:14:04,204
uh, pure, uh...
1515
01:14:04,228 --> 01:14:06,411
Glyphin! Gryphon!
1516
01:14:06,435 --> 01:14:10,032
Right, then runs it
through kind of, uh, glass.
1517
01:14:10,056 --> 01:14:11,213
A refinery.
1518
01:14:11,237 --> 01:14:12,304
Menagerie.
1519
01:14:12,328 --> 01:14:15,584
The bullshit then makes
pure gasoline.
1520
01:14:15,608 --> 01:14:18,825
[Sally] You crazy old farts!
You're burning the formula!
1521
01:14:18,849 --> 01:14:21,203
The, the, the formula!
1522
01:14:21,227 --> 01:14:23,164
The formula, you stupid bastard!
1523
01:14:23,188 --> 01:14:24,493
There goes our millions!
1524
01:14:25,298 --> 01:14:28,397
No need to panic, meine herren.
We're not defeated yet.
1525
01:14:29,093 --> 01:14:32,816
Und hier, meine herren,
we have the first half liter of...
1526
01:14:33,612 --> 01:14:35,306
Super odor-line!
1527
01:14:35,330 --> 01:14:37,750
With this sample I can
reconstruct the formula
1528
01:14:37,774 --> 01:14:39,000
any time I want.
1529
01:14:39,024 --> 01:14:41,410
- [Sandler] Bravo!
- Thank you, thank you.
1530
01:14:41,434 --> 01:14:43,079
Oh, the bottle, catch her!
1531
01:14:43,103 --> 01:14:44,990
Where the hell do you think
you're going? Come back here!
1532
01:14:45,014 --> 01:14:46,196
She's escaping!
1533
01:14:46,220 --> 01:14:47,817
- She's the spy. Catch her!
- She's getting away, hold my muffler!
1534
01:14:47,841 --> 01:14:49,685
Here, here!
Take this to the cleaners.
1535
01:14:50,300 --> 01:14:52,688
[upbeat music]
1536
01:14:53,405 --> 01:14:54,590
[Professor]
Which way did she go?
1537
01:14:54,614 --> 01:14:56,292
- [Sandler] We've got to catch her!
- [Pharmacist] I don't know!
1538
01:14:56,316 --> 01:14:58,693
- [Sally] The spies went that-a-way!
- Come on, hurry!
1539
01:14:58,717 --> 01:15:00,596
[Professor]
This is a catastrophe!
1540
01:15:01,200 --> 01:15:02,831
I think she went this way.
1541
01:15:02,855 --> 01:15:04,400
- Hey!
- I'll go get Doc!
1542
01:15:04,424 --> 01:15:06,728
Wait a minute, that looked like
the spy to me! Let's go!
1543
01:15:06,752 --> 01:15:08,894
Boy, when I catch her, I'm gonna
break her god damn neck.
1544
01:15:08,918 --> 01:15:10,102
There you are!
1545
01:15:10,126 --> 01:15:11,907
Ah! Ah, good.
1546
01:15:13,020 --> 01:15:15,111
We'll head her off at the pass.
Vámonos!
1547
01:15:15,606 --> 01:15:17,279
[Xaver] Huber, follow me!
1548
01:15:17,812 --> 01:15:20,816
Wait, which cleaners
did you want me to take this to?
1549
01:15:25,412 --> 01:15:27,223
[panting]
1550
01:15:31,981 --> 01:15:33,584
Super Dick...
1551
01:15:33,608 --> 01:15:35,786
I'm afraid the formula's been
completely destroyed.
1552
01:15:35,810 --> 01:15:38,401
You'll find in front
of the drug store, a bottle.
1553
01:15:39,093 --> 01:15:40,893
It's a sample of the gasoline,
1554
01:15:40,917 --> 01:15:43,710
I'll meet you at the car,
ten four.
1555
01:15:45,498 --> 01:15:47,097
Aha! Halt!
1556
01:15:47,121 --> 01:15:49,196
You stay there or I'll shoot!
1557
01:15:49,220 --> 01:15:51,113
[farting loudly]
1558
01:15:52,429 --> 01:15:54,789
Oh my god, what happened?
I think I shit in my pants.
1559
01:15:54,813 --> 01:15:56,685
How am I gonna
explain this to my wife?
1560
01:15:57,424 --> 01:15:59,797
[giggling and moaning]
1561
01:16:01,257 --> 01:16:03,692
[Claudia] Oh, Lois,
what a sensuous mouth you have.
1562
01:16:03,716 --> 01:16:05,494
[Lois] The better
to eat you with, my dear.
1563
01:16:05,518 --> 01:16:07,785
[Claudia] Oh, Lois, what a big
screwdriver you have!
1564
01:16:07,809 --> 01:16:10,199
[Lois] The better
to screw you with, my dear!
1565
01:16:10,912 --> 01:16:12,489
Oh, excuse me...
1566
01:16:12,513 --> 01:16:14,103
is there another way out?
1567
01:16:14,127 --> 01:16:15,609
Oh, thank you.
1568
01:16:17,089 --> 01:16:20,128
[Claudia] Oh Lois, give me more.
1569
01:16:20,152 --> 01:16:22,127
[moaning loudly]
1570
01:16:24,914 --> 01:16:26,914
[moaning intensifies]
1571
01:16:29,326 --> 01:16:31,287
Sounds like feeding time
at the zoo.
1572
01:16:32,809 --> 01:16:35,391
- Good morning, uncle.
- Lois, knock it off.
1573
01:16:35,914 --> 01:16:37,393
All you two do is hump!
1574
01:16:38,599 --> 01:16:40,633
[suspenseful music]
1575
01:16:42,798 --> 01:16:44,798
[all yelling]
1576
01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:47,703
[Doc] We'll make sure your balls
are in a sling, thief!
1577
01:16:48,671 --> 01:16:51,107
Come back, you mother-grabbing
formula thief!
1578
01:16:52,298 --> 01:16:53,785
[Pharmacist]
The cleaners was closed!
1579
01:16:53,809 --> 01:16:56,001
I saw this one on television.
Stand aside,
1580
01:16:56,025 --> 01:16:58,802
you've gotta be sure that the rope
is low to the ground,
1581
01:16:58,826 --> 01:17:00,197
that's important.
1582
01:17:00,221 --> 01:17:03,792
Oh, I see, that's very clear,
and then what?
1583
01:17:03,816 --> 01:17:05,582
When the spies come you pull it.
1584
01:17:05,606 --> 01:17:07,123
[screaming]
1585
01:17:07,147 --> 01:17:08,591
[Professor cursing in German]
1586
01:17:08,615 --> 01:17:09,992
Jesus, Sandler, what stinks?
1587
01:17:10,016 --> 01:17:12,094
[Professor] That's my odor-line!
1588
01:17:12,512 --> 01:17:14,797
[Professor] Why don't you try
the Chinese laundry?
1589
01:17:19,612 --> 01:17:20,704
I've got it.
1590
01:17:20,728 --> 01:17:22,789
Good, let's get to the car,
make it quick!
1591
01:17:22,813 --> 01:17:25,107
Goddamn it, here come the fuzz!
We've gotta hide!
1592
01:17:26,018 --> 01:17:27,116
The boat!
1593
01:17:29,708 --> 01:17:32,781
- We missed them, it's your fault again.
- Well, what do you propose?
1594
01:17:45,091 --> 01:17:48,197
Hmm, that's too much,
a boat with legs.
1595
01:17:49,986 --> 01:17:51,411
The espionagers.
1596
01:17:51,435 --> 01:17:54,003
Hey, you!
Come back here or I'll shoot!
1597
01:17:56,814 --> 01:17:59,723
Come, amore. Subito.
I want to feel your Bavarian bush.
1598
01:17:59,747 --> 01:18:01,785
But you don't need a girl
anymore for your friend.
1599
01:18:01,809 --> 01:18:03,684
Is not for him, it's for me!
1600
01:18:03,708 --> 01:18:06,447
Oh, it's for you?
That's something else then.
1601
01:18:06,471 --> 01:18:07,917
Let's go scopare!
1602
01:18:07,941 --> 01:18:10,894
I've heard you Italians
are mad, passionate lovers.
1603
01:18:10,918 --> 01:18:12,992
This is my gas per scopare!
1604
01:18:13,016 --> 01:18:14,506
I don't know how to scopare!
1605
01:18:14,530 --> 01:18:16,302
It's easy, I'll show you,
cara mia.
1606
01:18:16,326 --> 01:18:18,203
Get in and take off you pants.
1607
01:18:18,227 --> 01:18:20,612
[Girl] With your crude manners,
you must get slapped a lot!
1608
01:18:20,636 --> 01:18:23,005
[Tino] Si, but I also get
scopare-d a lot.
1609
01:18:23,029 --> 01:18:25,040
[suspenseful music]
1610
01:18:25,398 --> 01:18:26,809
Here, take it.
1611
01:18:34,298 --> 01:18:36,896
- [Sandler] Here they come, stop 'em!
- [Xaver] That car's under arrest!
1612
01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:38,302
[Huber] We've got 'em now,
they're trapped!
1613
01:18:38,326 --> 01:18:39,780
[Professor] Xaver, you're the law,
do something!
1614
01:18:39,804 --> 01:18:43,008
[Tino yelling in Italian]
1615
01:18:43,032 --> 01:18:45,321
- [all yelling]
- [tires screeching]
1616
01:18:51,919 --> 01:18:53,295
Stop, stop, I said!
1617
01:18:54,398 --> 01:18:55,923
There goes our millions.
1618
01:18:55,947 --> 01:18:57,512
The rotten bastards.
1619
01:18:57,536 --> 01:18:59,064
We lost our millions.
1620
01:18:59,088 --> 01:19:00,647
Maybe it's all for the good.
1621
01:19:00,671 --> 01:19:03,132
I've always liked the village
the way it is anyway.
1622
01:19:03,156 --> 01:19:05,204
All that money would cause
a lot of trouble here.
1623
01:19:05,228 --> 01:19:06,107
Who cares!
1624
01:19:06,131 --> 01:19:07,786
This means I'm going to
have to go out
1625
01:19:07,810 --> 01:19:09,812
and filter the formula again.
1626
01:19:10,091 --> 01:19:13,543
It's concentrated, which means
that it's highly explosive.
1627
01:19:13,567 --> 01:19:14,817
Shit, goddamn it!
1628
01:19:15,396 --> 01:19:18,587
And to think we came so close!
We almost had a million!
1629
01:19:18,611 --> 01:19:20,716
[Heiner] Super Dick and Agent 69
to Mission Control.
1630
01:19:20,740 --> 01:19:22,094
Microfilm has been destroyed,
1631
01:19:22,118 --> 01:19:24,130
returning with synthetic
sample of gasoline.
1632
01:19:24,154 --> 01:19:26,200
Our secret is safe
from competing oil companies.
1633
01:19:26,224 --> 01:19:28,197
Returning for bonus, ten four.
1634
01:19:28,774 --> 01:19:31,198
[explosion booming]
1635
01:19:32,998 --> 01:19:35,404
[both coughing]
1636
01:19:41,636 --> 01:19:43,412
And what do we do next?
1637
01:19:44,191 --> 01:19:47,378
Well let's see, I guess it's time
for me to do a lot of thinking.
1638
01:19:47,402 --> 01:19:48,884
Gee whiz now.
1639
01:19:49,396 --> 01:19:52,102
Why not? There's nothing else
to do anymore.
1640
01:19:52,126 --> 01:19:55,309
Leaping lizards, Sally!
Wasn't that a big enough bang for you?
1641
01:19:55,333 --> 01:19:57,097
[Sally giggling]
1642
01:19:57,121 --> 01:19:58,894
[Heiner] Oh well,
here we go again.
121032
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