All language subtitles for The.Mystery.Cruise.2013.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[Dog barking]

Don't worry, Lulu!

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

I'll have you back home
to mama by nap-time.

[Yelps]

[Moaning in fear]

Run, run, as fast as you can,

you can't catch me,

I'm Alvirah Meehan!

Well, outrun this, lady!

[Screams] Regan!

[Groans]

[Gasps in relief]

I know, she's pushing her luck.

Jack, unless you wanna tell her.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Chicken.

Thanks for sending a car
to pick the creep up.

I'll see you tonight.

Look at you.

Cass, relax.
Look, she's fine.

No, Alvirah.

She's perfect.

Say thank you, Tallulah.

Thank you, Alvirah, for saving me.

You and your partner, Regan,

you're the best private
eyes in all of Manhattan.

Oh, it's nothing.

Kidnapping, dognapping,
it's all in a day's work.

Right, Regan?

Well, there are just no words.

I don't know what Lulu and I

would have done...

[Wryly]
Yes, isn't she helpful?

Well, I know we settled on 20, Alvirah,

but seeing I was prepared

to pay a million-dollar ransom...

50 grand for a dog?

And precious member of her family.

That's very generous, Cass.

Made out to the Meehan & Reilly

Detective Agency

as directed.

There is no 'Meehan and
Reilly Detective Agency.'

- We have a bank account.
- We do?

How else would we
cash the check?

I also ordered
the matching stationery.

[Cass]: Well, that settles it then!

Say the word,

and I will make
this new crime shop of yours

the talk of the town.

[Gasps] Oh, I have
a lead on a smashing

pocket listing for you uptown.

Don't dawdle.

I'm going to take care
of some business.

No. No, no,
no, no, you don't.

We have to discuss
this, Alvirah.

But Cass said!

I know what she said.

But just because we've solved
a couple of cases together

doesn't mean that
we should become partners.

What, even if we call it

the 'Reilly and Meehan
Detective Agency?'

Even then.
It's too dangerous.

But we did good today.

We got lucky today.

What happened to
stick with the plan?

Your cross-my-heart promise
to wait in the car?

Willy got hungry.

I sent him to get a quick nosh,

and that's when I spotted

our dog-napper.

He had Lulu,
and she was right there.

I'm sorry, Alvirah...

Come on!

But the way that you operate,

leaping before you look,

sooner or later

I'm gonna get to you
two seconds too late,

and you're gonna get dead.

But you're never late,

and that's what makes us
so good together!

Admit it, we were destined
to be partners in crime,

ever since Willy's toothache

and your dad's dental phobia
brought us together,

which, need I remind you,

led to us both saving
your kidnapped father.

No, you needn't remind me.

But that was a fluke,

and no reason to think about
opening a P.I. agency.

I've got $50,000 reasons
that say otherwise.

And I'm happy to take

my half of the reward,

but then you've got
to promise me,

matching stationery or not,
you'll close that account.

[Sighs heavily]

Look...

Having good instincts
for spotting trouble

doesn't mean that you're
prepared to handle it.

Just once, I'd like to spend
our time together as friends,

instead of...

Pretend private eyes.

We do lots of things as friends!

Oh, like that boat cruise
we're taking next week

to celebrate
your mom's new book.

You and me,

playing 1870s dress-up crime-busters,

that is pure fun!

And I'm holding you to it.

I promised Jack

this murder mystery boat cruise

was all play, all the time...

[Quietly]
And that goes double for you.

We'll be partners yet, Regan Reilly,

just you wait and see.

♪ ♪

On behalf

of my beautiful wife, Nora Reilly,

it is my honor to welcome
you lucky winners

for a three-day cruise

around the magnificent
San Juan islands,

aboard the luxury yacht,

"The Taconite"

where you will celebrate,
and also play a part in,

Nora's latest masterpiece
of mayhem and murder,

"The Mystery Cruise."

You know, when I look at all of you

in your mystery
game costumes, it's...

It's truly a dream come true!

[Applause]

We're going to be departing
in just a few minutes,

so whenever you're ready,

please come on
aboard "The Taconite"!

[Quietly]
This is Ivy Pickling,

she's playing the reporter.

Thanks for joining us, Ivy!

We look forward
to your inside scoops.

Oh! [Chuckles]
Of course. Thank you.

[Quietly]
Here's your detective.

A widower, name's Ted Cannon.

- You must be Ted?
- Yeah.

I'll bet nothing gets past you.

It's an honor.

This could only be
Hans and Greta Dietz,

your tourists from abroad.

Mr. and Mrs. Dietz!

All the way from Switzerland!

Willkommen.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for picking me.

This is the thrill of a lifetime!

[Chuckling awkwardly]

And he is?

I'm, uh, well, I'm not really sure.

But maybe the banker?

Seaman York reporting for duty,

A.K.A. "Stowaway."

First name, Casper.

And my dear wife, Serena.

"Society belle"
and all around good sport.

I know you!

Mayfair Books, London, right?

Guilty as charged.

I was at your signing last year,

but nothing can top this.

By all means, sneak onboard!

Aw...

Willy, welcome.

Hi.

One of you
is gorgeous, by the way.

[Laughing]

Do you know any place
on the ship where you can...

I certainly do.

The card games
is on the poop deck, Willy.

That's Willy "Maverick" Meehan,

breaker of hearts and winner at cards.

But you knew that.

[Chuckling]

If Regan should happen to ask...

Card room's the last place you'll be.

See, I knew there was

an extra-special reason
I loved being your son-in-law.

[Gushing and sobbing]

The schoolteacher, Mom?
Really?

And yet she's
the 'dance hall girl'?

Hey, you're not Nora's biggest fan.

Well, she's got you there, kiddo.

Shall we?

But doesn't 'number one kid'
count for anything?

Huh?

Pops...

[Sighs]

♪ ♪

The players in and out of the game

are listed here,

and the clues to be uncovered

are noted there.

And these add up to what exactly?

Why, the intricacies of Nora's game.

It's ingeniously elegant, actually.

Each day, we'll receive

a new set of chapters chock full of leads,

while the final chapter,

which reveals the
murderer's true identity

will be held back
until our journey's end.

As we all learned
in chapters one through five,

which we received with
our tickets and invitations,

tonight, one of us will be murdered,

and the first among us

to uncover their motive

and expose the killer

will take home the grand prize,

unless, of course,

they accuse the wrong player of murder,

in which case,

[snaps fingers]
They are out of the game.

Good evening.

Oh, good evening.

Can you imagine it, Greta?

Having the entire
Nora Reilly collection,

all autographed first editions.

Ja.

Would it not be wonderful?

No matter what, Hans,
we must win!

Ja.

First time at sea, eh?

Um... how'd you know?

Oh, that's how I make my living.

Of course, you're playing the detective.

I've never done
one of these things before.

Role-playing and all.

Yeah, me neither.

[Chuckles]

It's Alvirah Meehan!

A simple cleaning lady from Queens.

After winning $40 million in the lottery...

...became a part-time
reporter for "The Globe,"

thanks to her ability
to uncover crime

wherever she goes...

Her most popular stories
detailing the adventures

of her favorite
street-smart private eye...

[Gasps]
Regan Reilly!

The P.I. whose mother
is a mystery writer...

...and a father who owns funeral homes...

...who is often quoted as saying...

"When dinner talk in the family home

is about murder and mayhem...

...what else are you
going to be when you grow up?"

And who else would you marry

but crack NYPD detective
Jack Reilly.

No relation, mind you.

[Together]:
"Meehan and Reilly..."

And we're all in the same murder mystery!

[Chuckling in disbelief]

That's some get-up

you're flouncing about in there, missy.

I hope it doesn't offend

your school teacher sensibilities.

I'm planning on doing
the cancan in it later.

I'll be sure to book a ringside seat.

You do that.

[Quietly]
I can't seem to find

a certain gambler,

and I don't mean Willy.

[Nora]: There's my favorite sailor,

and right where I knew I'd find you.

"My soul is full of longing

for the secret of the sea..."

"And the heart
of the great ocean...

[Together]: ...Sends
a thrilling pulse through me."

"Though nothing fills this heart

like the passion
I have for thee."

Okay, Longfellow,

time for the gambler
to go to work.

Go? I'm just
getting warmed up.

[Chuckling] Luke...

Yes, darling?

You are incorrigible.

Well, now, it appears
I have lost my way.

Pardon me, you wouldn't
happen by any chance

to know where a gambling man
could find a card game

around here?

Caspy! Sorry,
he's a bit tipsy.

Darling, mind your step.

How about you two?

Good evening.

Schnell! Liebling!

[Hans]: We get to toot the ship's horn!

If at first you don't succeed...

Yeah, again.
With gusto.

Come on, folks, don't be coy.

How can I interest you
in a game of chance?

You can't win if you don't play!

"Pickling" like "pickle,"

but drop the "E"
and an "I-N-G."

It was nice to meet you,
Miss Pickle-ling.

The pleasure's all mine.

[Giggles in delight]

No need to thank me, ma'am.

As an old Navy corpsman,

I am fully qualified
to play your doctor.

Excellent.

[Sighs with satisfaction]

So this is what heaven looks like.

Tell me about it.

Crispy, greasy...

And the food's good, too.

[Laughter]

All right, all right,
I hate to interrupt you two,

but are we playing poker
here or what?

Take it easy, skinny.

I raise you $20.

Hoo! Too rich for me.

All right, I'll see your 20 to call.

Two pair, 10 high.

Oh, that's a great-looking hand.

It's a shame it has to lose to me.

I'm not gloating.

It's a full house.

And a pleasure doing
business with you.

Stand back.

[Sighs wistfully]

Isn't this view

every bit as inviting
as I said it would be?

As beautiful
as my bride, Serena.

Bride?

That was five years ago.

Every day's a honeymoon with you, Love!

Happy anniversary.

More champagne, darling?

I rather think I've had enough.

Oh, no, there's no such thing

as too much bubbly.

Oh...

[Laughing]

To happiness

and long life.

Stop!

Where is it, you dirty double-crosser?

I swear, I don't have it.

Oh, but I know you do, you lying rat.

But you made one fatal mistake,

and that was to leave the man
whose murder you framed me for

alive!

That's impossible!

I shot him.

Three times in the back.

But with his dying breath,

"Left Hook" Louis
begged me to avenge him,

and I am here to do just that.

Now, where is the map to
Left Hook Louis' lost gold mine?

I don't know.

If I knew where it was,
I'd tell you, honest.

[Scoffs] Honest?

You wouldn't know honest
if you married it!

Now, you step back!

Whoa!

[Whispering] Let go!

[Whispering] What?

You're supposed to let go.

Oh, yeah! Sorry.

[Gasps, then giggles]

It tickles.

Luke... [whispering] Stop it.

[Gasps dreamily]

Look.

Look.

Isn't the moon lovely tonight?

Ouch.

"Ouch?"

Come on, you're killing me here.

I'm trying to murder you.

Okay, fine.

[Screams]

[Bottle smashes]
[Commotion inside]

Serena? Serena?
What is it?

It's nothing, Caspy.

[Casper]: I say!
Did you hear that?

Good lord!

The game's afoot
and we're missing it!

Come on.

[Screams in horror]

I guess this makes
the gambler our victim.

Indeed.

Cross him off...

Gang way, gang way.

Excuse me.

Ah.

Hmm...

Hmm.

Hmm.

This man is dead.

[Everyone gasps]

Stabbed in the heart.

And the murder weapon
appears to be missing.

Caspy, forgive me,

but I've had all the excitement

I can take for one day.

Go play some cards, enjoy yourself.

I'm going to catch up
on my beauty rest.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

[Applause]

Thank you.

Aw.

I was good, wasn't I?

Fantastic.

Marvelous, marvelous.

Um, I say,

did you ever stumble upon
that aforementioned card game?

No, but that is an excellent idea.

Darling, would you mind if I...

Go on, enjoy your poker game.

Thank you.

This way.

You're sure off to a great start, Mom.

The mystery is a total blast.

Really?

Absolutely.

I especially loved the way
that dad got into his part.

He was cute, wasn't he?

And you make a sensational
dance hall girl.

What?

Oh!

Thank you, Nora.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I have things to prepare for tomorrow.

I'll see both of you bright and early.

Bye.

Okay, Alvirah, what's up?

Nothing's up.

I can almost hear
those wheels grinding

in that busybody brain of yours.

[Scoffs] There is nothing up.

Just, I should have
eaten something

at the mixer.

Now I got a headache, and...

[Sighs]

As if you didn't know,
a murder to solve.

Oh.

And since you must
have lessons to prepare

for your new schoolroom,

I bid you adieu.

Ah, ah, ah!

But I could use a bite, too,

and seeing the galley
is open round the clock,

my dear dance hall girl,

why not join me for a snack

before I bid you adieu
to solve this mystery?

Perfect.

Hmm.

What do you mean

"where was I when
the gambler was murdered?"

I don't see that as
any of your concern,

unless of course you're
formally accusing me...

Not at all.

I just happened to notice
that you were late

to the party.

Which to me, would indicate

that you were there
conveniently early.

Which is when we need
to wake up tomorrow,

so if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna call it a night.

Yeah, me too.

You want the last bite?

Nah, kill it.

They're splitting up.

I can see that.

Of course you can.

What I mean is, are they splitting up

because they know we're tailing them

and are forcing us to make a choice,

or are they splitting

to throw each other
off their own tails, or both?

We could split up to follow 'em.

[Stammering]

I'm thinking let's stick with Regan,

and not because I think she's the killer,

but because she's a pro

and has the skills to crack this case,

while Alvirah, though also skilled,

relies more on luck,

and seems too obvious a
choice to have that part.

I like it.

Wait.

[Sighing]

I guess we debated a...

[Together]
A little too long?

[Laughing]

Well...

Pick this up in the morning?

Yeah, that...
That sounds good.

[Chuckling shyly]

Good night.

Good night.

I can't believe
the joy of tooting the horn

came at such a cost.

To miss the murder.

[Sighs] Yeah, but
who could know these things?

I should have known, Hans.

Me!

So, my sweet Alvirah

plays the lottery like it's a calling,

and there's me, a poor plumber...

A great plumber, but a poor one...

Happy to have three
nickels to rub together,

and she's out there
spending two of 'em,

rain or shine,
on a sucker's game,

which, of course
I complain about,

until she wins the big jackpot.

[Sighs]

Okay, she hits everything
she ever wanted,

which, of course,

she never lets me forget about.

[Chuckling fondly]

Well,

seeing as you've experienced
the windfall of good fortune,

perhaps this won't
sting quite so much.

Aces over.
Appears to win again?

It seems that one can be lucky in love

and lucky in cards, eh?

For you maybe.

Me, I'm done with the cards part.

I, too, am past
my quota for punishment.

What do you say we make things
a little more interesting

and maybe, uh, double the odds

for the next few hands?

I'm all played out.

[Sighing]

As am I.

Oh...

Whoa.

You okay there?

[Moans unsteadily]

I'm afraid the excitement of the evening

has rather taken its toll.

Well,

seeing as I have no
one left to deal to,

why don't you let
me give you a hand

back to your cabin?

Ah, bless you.

You're most kind.

You sure you can handle this?

Mm. Of course.

Besides, I think those eclairs

have your name
written all over them.

I thought they did...

Okay, we'll see you tomorrow.

Come on, let's get you to bed.

Well, maybe just one.

These look pretty good.

Hey...

What are you doing out here?

Just hoping you'd show up.

Is that so?

Well, you got me.

[Sighs wearily]

What?

What aren't you telling me?

Okay, look, don't even think
about rubbing it in...

[Chuckling] Oh, ho...

But, well,

being out here on the water,

so quiet and relaxing,

just you, me and the night sky...

It has its pluses.

Oh, so all that complaining that you did

before we left home,

and I quote,
"do we have to go on this cruise

with a bunch of nuts

playing dressed-up crime-busters?"

And how I had to remind you

that you were married
to one of those nuts, and now...

Now you have the nerve...

Okay, yes, yes, I admit it,
I like the boat.

[Chuckles]

But more important, I love
the joy that you being here

brings to your mother.

Well, you keep talking
like that, Mr. Reilly,

and you just might get

to walk this teacher
home from school tonight.

Oh, really?

I like the sound of that.

[Chuckling]

[Muffled protests]

No, no, do come in!

Serena, darling!

Allow me to introduce
the kind gent

who...

Serena?

Serena?

Serena?

Uh... oh.

It appears that my dear wife

has stepped out for
her evening constitutional.

Well, I look forward to
meeting her another time, then.

Indeed. Yes.

- Good night.
- Good night,

and thank you so much again.

My pleasure.

...a piece of champagne bottle

I now fear indicates

that while I was in the act of committing

my pretend murder...

- Let go!
- What?

You're supposed to let go!

[Alvirah]: There was an
actual premeditated murder

underfoot overhead.

Of course, it took me
a moment to realize

what I think I saw...

[Bottle smashes overhead]

[Alvirah]: Or heard...

As the shattering glass
grabbed my attention.

However, as the dance hall girl,

I had to take
the gambler's wallet,

which held "Left Hook" Louie's map,

and then quickly exit the
scene of the crime...

...as I had to hide the knife

before anyone spotted me.

But once I gathered my thoughts...

I just knew that Serena
had to be in the act...

of hitting her husband
with the champagne bottle

and pushing him overboard...

when Luke's...

[Luke screams inside, bottle smashes]

...dying scream threw her off her game,

causing her to drop the bottle
and cut her finger...

...evidenced by
the bloody glove

I witnessed later
in the salon...

...leaving me in a quandary,

as with no hard proof,
it's only speculation.

Caspy...

Forgive me,

but I've had all the excitement
I can take for one day.

...and if I dared to share
my suspicions with anyone,

especially Regan,

I run the risk
of ruining Nora's mystery game

on nothing more than
a half-baked hunch.

And to do that

after she trusted me
with the honored role

of the murderer,

and Regan insisted on us

just being friends
on this trip...

[Cabin door opens]

[Willy groaning]

You ate too much, didn't you?

Yes. Maybe a little.

A little?

Well, let's see.

Oh, we have fried shrimp...

Well, fried shrimp is fried.

...fried oysters, French fries,

cocktail sauce,

and eclairs...

I'm guessing a dozen.

Good guess.

Go.

[Shushing]

I will fix you a bicarbonate.

[Snoring]

With all due respect...

I was only asking
if they might be...

Misplaced, so you said.

And I can assure you
that I gave my cabin

a very thorough search,

as my missing cufflinks

hand-engraved 24 karat gold

were a treasured gift
from my sainted mum.

"The Taconite" has a very
sterling reputation.

One, I'm afraid to say,

that is clearly in danger
of being tarnished.

[Regan]: Anything we can do here, Mom?

[Nora]: I hope that's not necessary.

[Captain]: Well, whatever the cause may be

for this misunderstanding,

any loses anyone might
incur are fully insured.

Caspy, your tea.

So,

this rogue skips free to Nick again?

No one is suggesting that.

Darling,

it's going to get cold.

Well...

- I should hope not.
- Agreed.

I only feel that...

Only!
There can be no "only."

My good sir,

never forget

that we are Nora Reilly's
most loyal readership.

Why, we would revel
in the challenge

of bagging this filcher!

Caspy...

You know how you get

without your
morning pick-me-up.

Oh. Yes, yes,
thank you, darling.

Of course, of course.

And this thievery,
if that's what it is,

is certainly troubling.

"Troubling?"

No.

Right is right,

and wrong is wrong,

and this wrong!

Seriously?

Seriously!

What?

Serena, darling, it's just a cup of tea.

[Crowd murmuring in shock]

I couldn't help it, Alvirah.

You know I've got a mouth on me.

Yes, and you were "only eatin'

as the cards were fallin' again' ya."

I know my limit.

You might, but this
"Maverick" character?

Him I'm not so sure about.

So, how many times

do you have to check on this knife

you stashed, anyway?

All right...

There you are.

Oh!

Thank you.

Thanks.

And who else do we have?
Oh, yes.

[Regan]: Okay, if Dad's
passing out chapters,

and Alvirah's not
the first in line...

Okay, I wondered
how long it would take

before you got hooked into this.

What are you talking about?

I'm just making an observation.

Sure, sure.

Come on, come clean,
you know you want in.

I'm only playing to keep Mom happy.

Yeah.

But you know you want to win.

I don't care about winning.

Honey.

[Sighs] Okay,
I'd hate losing to Alvirah.

- What, so you think that she...
- Is the murderer?

No.

Mom would never make
such a cut-and-dried choice.

Unless you consider
that Alvirah, in that role,

provides the perfect cover.

Just saying.

Hmm.

[Willy]: 30 years,

and you really think
I wouldn't notice, Alvirah?

You've had the happy gait
of a Nora Reilly murderess

ever since you got the
costume and the travel packet.

And you know what?

That's the way it should be.

The truth is,
nothing makes me happier

than seeing you get
this much joy out of it.

Really, Willy?

Even if I keep you up
all night reading?

Well, that I hate, but...

[Laughing]
No, even then.

Anyhoo, do you think

Serena really was going to
bump off her husband

with that champagne bottle?

Oh, no, that was just
to knock him out.

Oh, sure, sure,
and then over he goes.

Mm-hmm.

You know what,

you're really good at this stuff, Alvirah.

Then why am I stuck on what to do?

Why can't I just trust my intuition?

Because Nora gave you a plum part,

and even if there's
no real trouble afoot,

you'll mess things up for no reason.

Not that you asked,

but sometimes, it's best

for you to just stick to being
in one murder mystery at a time.

Sometimes, you're pretty smart.

As you are beguiling, dear lady.

[Groans] Oh, brother.

Go! Go play.

And don't forget,

don't be late tonight
for our date tonight to the...

[Luke]: Grand dance ball,

where all are welcome to dine
and dance the night away!

Until then,

happy reading and happy sleuthing!

Did you see, in chapter 12?

I know,

we've got to find Left Hook
Louie's missing pouch.

Hans. Hans!

They have already
deciphered the next clue.

We must beat them to the beutel.

Ja, but I haven't had my strudel.

Strudel?

I'll make you the best strudel

when we win.

Now, let's go. Let's go!

Well, sweetheart,

I'm off to take
my post-breakfast nap,

which will soon be followed
by my after-lunch nap.

That's fine, dear,

but sometime today,
when your eyes are open,

please speak with the captain.

So you are worried about this?

If it becomes
a distraction, yes.

For the game to work,

players have to suspend their disbelief.

A real crime spree
will unravel everything.

You know, busting bad
guys is what we do.

No, no, no, you're on vacation,

and I have years
of hand-holding to draw on.

And I have a mystery to attend to.

I'll see you two tonight.

So, school's back in session?

You don't mind, do you?

No, no, I'm good, teach.

I think I'll just grab
one of those naps

your daddy's hoarding.

Bye.

[Typing rapidly]

Go ahead, ask me anything.

I have nothing to hide.

Other than this?

I did not hide that knife.

You sure knew where to look for it.

I had a hunch where it might be.

Didn't see any reason
to clue you in.

Unless you put it there

and this is one big smokescreen?

Are you accusing me?

Why, are you accusing me?

[Together]: No!

Good.

Then I suggest we put the knife
back where we found it,

and see who might turn up
to claim it.

Works for me.

Partner.

[Ted]: All anyone knows

is that "Left Hook" Louis'
pouch was found.

They don't know it was by us

and they don't know what's in it.

Now, that's an advantage
we're going to lose

when the next chapter comes out.

Bingo.

And as it was filed with gold nuggets,

it follows Nora's habit...

...incorporating non-fictional events

into her fabulous works of fiction.

Bingo again.

Nora knows

and expects us to do
a little digging to know

that boats often
ferried gold miners

up and down the west coast,

including the San Juan islands.

As Louis was a miner,

we need to deduce
how he and the gambler

were connected

if we hope to I.D.
whoever killed the gambler,

and for the win,

find what could only be a map

that the gambler must
have stolen from Louis,

leading us to Louis' mine.

That's a triple bingo.

Yeah.

[Laughing]

[Sighing]

Feels so delicious

to be out of that itchy costume.

And thanks to a very bad guess

who the killer is,

finally out of that silly game.

Not much of a Nora Reilly fan?

No, I'm only here for the hubby.

He's playing the stowaway, hmm?

Oh, uh, something like that.

Frankly, I find the whole
mystery genre a bore.

Well, I think it was great

the way he stood up to
the captain this morning.

Seems like a good man.

[Dryly] Isn't he, though?

Still, one would think

a career diplomat
and married to me

would have found Vienna, Paris, or Rome

more apropos

for celebrating one's
fifth wedding anniversary.

It was Ivy.

She found the pouch.

You're off to a great start.

I'll take four, please.

And one for me.

Check.

That finishes me.
Bet's to you.

Well...

I shall raise you five large.

And I shall...

See that five large

and call you.

Well...

Three lovely ladies.

Well, gents, now you know

what four dancing dandies look like!

[Laughing]

And this, gentlemen,
is what retreat looks like

whilst one still has
one's shirt.

Right behind you.

You're not quitting, too,

are you, Willy?

You're on a winning streak.

The cards love you!

Well, I promised Alvirah
I... would be on time.

Although I guess I could
play a couple more hands.

Now you're talking.

[Chuckling]
All right...

[Pianist plays soothing dinner music]

"The Taconite" sure is a beauty.

Yes, I like to think of her

as a floating museum.

She is all that and more.

Why, thank you.

Please, don't wait anymore.

Go ahead, eat.

He'll get here.

I am officially grounding Willy
when we get home.

You can do that?

Okay, you know what,

I'll go round him up.

That way, we can all have
a nice quiet, relaxing evening.

Thank you.

Yeah.

It's not like you don't
have him well trained, too.

Caspy, you're wasting hot water.

I'm so enjoying Nora's book,

I hate to tear myself away.

Honey...

We're running late for dinner.

I'm sorry, Alvirah,

really, I am.

Not half as sorry
as you're gonna be

when she's standing here.

Here, let me help you with your tie.

I messed up, Jack.

Oliver really played me.

I lost way more than I planned.

Worse than Alvirah will forgive.

The crook even took my watch.

What, you're positive he cheated?

This isn't you having losers' remorse?

I know he did, I just don't know how.

[Sighs]

Okay, but, look,

we gotta put a pin in
this for now, all right?

I'll run this Oliver
first thing in the morning.

[Distant thud and yelp]

Oh, blimey!

[Serena]: Caspy! No!

Your husband was lucky
to have only grazed his head,

but as he did suffer
a mild concussion,

and you can never be
too careful,

it's best he rest
here overnight.

[Grumbles]

[Serena]: I'll keep
an eye on him.

- Okay?
- Thank you.

[Sighs]

I can't tell you what it means
to get this off my chest.

I'm happy to help.

But with social media,

all it takes is one report
of something being stolen,

and there goes your 4-star rating.

And if this gets out,

then I'm really sunk.

Well, I've got to
get back to the bridge.

Thanks for looking into this for me.

I'm not going to find
these showing up for sale

online, am I?

Not that you would do that.

It reminds me of Nora's book.

"The slip and fall killer!"

Exactly!

First thing that came to my mind.

Yeah, me too.
I guess we have...

...murder on our mind?

[Laughing together]

Only in this case, thank goodness,

the poor man isn't, you know...

But when you add up
the bar of soap,

a couple on vacation,

the similarities to the book are...

Eerily coincidental.

Excuse me.

I need to talk to you.

Sure, I just want to grab a nosh.

Talk now, nosh later.

Come on.

All right, you got me.

Thank you, Willy.

I'm afraid that
my intuition was right.

Do you, uh, like to dance?

[Chuckles awkwardly]
Oh...

I'm not sure I remember how.

My wife was the one who could
always get me out there

on the dance floor,

no matter how big of a
fool I made of myself.

So, you're married?

Uh, widowed.

Uh, you?

Never found the right guy.

Oh.

[Chuckles awkwardly]

Some night, huh?

Quite a day, too.

Yup.

[Sighs heavily]

A lovely affair.

Lovely.

[Laughs awkwardly]

[Alvirah, thinking]:
I should just confess,

admit I'm the mystery cruise murderer...

[Regan, thinking]:
I should just lie,

tell her I'm the mystery cruise murderer.

[Alvirah]: I should stop playing this game

and share my hunch about Serena with Regan.

[Regan]:
Maybe that would get Alvirah to tell me

what she's not telling me.

[Alvirah]:
But I promised Regan

I wouldn't ruin our vacation,

so I'd better not.

[Regan]: Maybe it's better
to leave well enough alone.

So, you two are still out here,

waiting for someone
to come for that knife?

Regan, I'm going to bed.

Alvirah...

Willy ate more than his eyes could hold.

Enough to land in the infirmary.

And, no.
No, I did not lecture him.

Right now he's more afraid of seeing you

than anything I could possibly say.

And that is my report.

Good night, ladies.

Good night.

Good night.

[Sighs heavily]

My leg's asleep.

Okay.

Watch your head.

[Yawning and shivering]

[Snoring]

What are you doing!?

I'm making my husband comfortable,

not that it's any of your concern.

That's not what it looks like to me!

Who do you think you are?

Help!

This man needs help!

What's going on here?

That's what I'd like to know!

Please, make sure he's breathing.

I gave him something to rest,

and he's fine.

Well, I'm certainly not fine.

I'm warning you, captain,

you keep this crazy woman
away from my husband.

Honey...

[Alvirah, whispering]:
Regan... Regan!

[Knocking insistently]

Regan!

[Knocking]
Regan!

[Rapid knocking persists]

[Sleepily] Honey... Honey, the door.

What?

Someone's at the door.

[Groaning]

[Alvirah knocking insistently]

Coming, coming, coming, coming, coming...

[Whispering] Regan!

It's for you.

What?

It's for you.

[Groaning groggily]

[Alvirah whispers]:
Hey, come here!

[Regan]: What?

[Alvirah]: Come on!

[Regan]:
Okay, hold on a second.
Hold on a second.

This is the map I got off the gambler.

It shows the secret location

of Left Hook Louis'

lost gold mine.

Pretty cool, huh?

Of course, Nora being Nora,

it's in French.

Well, if you pulled me
out of bed to translate this,

you're out of luck.

No.

Not exactly.

I got you up to tell you

that, one,

I am the murderer
in your mother's mystery game,

and two,

and yes,

I am crossing-my-heart

and promising...

That I wouldn't say this if I wasn't sure.

We've got a real murderer on this boat.

What?

Mm-hmm.

And then,

when I went to check on Willy,

who was under order

to stick by Casper until I relieve him,

I caught Serena trying
to suffocate Casper

with a pillow!

An almost perfect murder,

as his death would likely be dismissed

as the tragic result of his concussion!

Okay, okay, okay, hold up.

Because what you don't know is

how I noticed how
off you were acting

at the crime scene
of the murdered gambler...

I wanted to tell you then!

...but you didn't want to spoil the game.

- Which I totally...
- Exactly.

And Serena?

Mm-hmm?

When you add in
how she went off at breakfast

over that cup of tea...

Making me wonder what was in it.

Not to mention how flippant
she was about her anniversary?

Not nice.

Not nice.

But what's most disturbing...

Is if she really wants Casper dead,

and we can't prove it
in the next 24 hours,

is that when they get back home,

we won't be around to stop her
from murdering that poor sap.

So, what do we do?

We get serious.

We prove she's the would-be killer

you believe her to be.

We stick by her husband at all times...

[Smacks fist]
And bust her before we dock.

"We?"

Yes, Alvirah.

We.

Jack and I made a no-work deal,

so we're gonna keep this between us

while I reach out to my sources

for the skinny

on this Serena.

While they're doing what they do,

I'll cozy up to her,

and try and uncover
whatever evidence we can use.

All right, what do I do?

What's my job?

To do what you're doing.

Keep your head in the game,
only with Casper close at hand.

That's all?

Don't undersell it.

By you staying active in the mystery,

you can honor your
obligation to Mom and her fans

and keep Serena
from being alone with Casper

without alerting her.

Yes... you betcha.

Serena may not have wanted

to come on this trip,

but she saw this game
as an advantage,

a ready, convenient distraction
for her murderous plan.

The more comfortable she feels,

the more likely she is to strike again.

We need her to try
to make a move now,

while we're here to stop her.

You know,

that map being in French

may be our best break yet.

Do you have any nines?

Two.

[Chuckles]

This game's not hard.

Queens?

Go fish.

So, the captain told me

there was quite a
commotion last night

with our wives, what?

Oh, that little dust-up? No.

Alvirah's Irish,

it comes naturally to her.

Dust-up?

I heard it was
more like a donnybrook.

Any fives?

Aw... go fish.

[Laughs]

All I can say is,

if Serena had acted like that

before we got married,

I'd have insisted on five dog years,

not five human years,
for our pre-nup.

[Snaps cards down]
Hah-hah!

I heard what you said

to that big mouth
husband of yours,

who told my Willy

that no matter who I hurt,

or how dirty I had to play,

I was out to win this
game at all costs!

I said no such thing.

Oh, so I'm supposed to believe

that Willy made up
your trashy talk?

You listen to me, missy,

you stay out of my way,

in this game, and on this trip!

You got it?

[Gasping in shock]

[Sighs] What a...

...busybody!

And that's being kind!

Well, aren't you two doing well.

[Giggling]
Thank you.

It's counterfeit, all right.
And it's good, too.

So, what, someone's been
passing these in the card room?

I'm afraid so.

And not to talk out of school,

but I kind of...

Well, I, uh, bragged to the captain

that you were NYPD's head
of Major Crimes division...

And you said I'd look into it.

And I will.

But, look, can we, uh,
keep this between us?

Regan and I sort of have
a no-work pact going, and...

Say no more.

When it comes to Regan,
well, I always say...

"Why borrow trouble?"

Exactly.

[Casper laughing]

And a very good day to you, sir.

Same to you...
Whoa.

[Chuckles]

Willy!

[Quietly]
Where is Casper?

Relax, he's right there.

I haven't let him out of my sight.

[Sighs in relief]

When the captain told me
that he released you two,

and I couldn't find you,

I've never run so fast in my life,

and in this get-up...

Hey, Willy?

Uh, you ready?

Oh, I, uh...
We're gonna...

Go, go.

Ah, listen.

Casper had a pre-nup with the wife

that kept her out of his millions...

Yeah, his millions, okay...

That just expired,

if you take my meaning.

I got it.

Go.

[Regan chuckles]

Oh, you know the type.

Their life isn't all that exciting,

so to fill their empty
spaces, they have to...

Make your life miserable?

Been there, took care of that.

Really?

[Chuckles]

Oh, believe you me.

Any woman who thinks

she can stick her nose
into my business,

is going down.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

[Cell phone chimes]

[Sighs] The hubby.

You know how needy they can be.

[Sighs in sympathy]

[Shutter clicks]

[Cell phone rings,
Alvirah sighs in frustration]

[Regan]: I got her picture and sent it off.

How are things on your end?

Good.

I'm just about to put
"Operation Casper" into motion.

All right, well, the secret service

is usually pretty quick
at getting back to me,

so while we're waiting
for them to weigh in

on these counterfeit 20s,

let's take a look

at the card room's security footage.

Really?

Yeah.

Psst!

Hey, let's say we give 'em the slip

and see what we can do together?

Righto!

Come on.

See how the mauese run for the kaese?

What mice and cheese?

Them!

We must choose who to follow.

I know who we must follow.

It is the dancing hall girl, Alvirah!

- Alvirah?
- Ja.

Don't be silly.

Okay, if it isn't Alvirah,

then why has this stowaway,

who has barely played the game,

all of the sudden
stuck like glue to her, hmm?

He knows something!

That's why he's been laying in wait.

Barely playing...

Hmm?

Like glue...

[Gasping] It's not Alvirah!

- Huh?
- No!

It's Casper!

What?

He's our murderer!
After him!

This way, this way, Hans!

Honey...

[Sighs in relief]

Oh, that was a close one!

It was?

Sure! Why do you think
I pulled you in here?

I couldn't very well let you
fall into their clutches.

Into whose clutches?

[Sighing] Come here.

Move your feet.
Go, Hans, go. Go!

[Whispering] Those two.

They've been following
you two everywhere.

Yeah, that's right.

Somehow, they must have learned

that Alvirah and I found
Left Hook Louis' map,

and that there's only
one man onboard

who can interpret it.

Oh, me?

Yes.

[Ted]: For the guys left in play,

I have either Casper or Hans.

[Ivy]: Same here.

They're both equally likely.

What about me?

I'm not a suspect?

[Laughs]

Unless you have an evil twin.

Considering you were
standing right beside me

when the murder went down?

Well then, how do you explain

the fact that you're
still the top suspect

on my list of femmes fatales?

A femme fatale?

[Giggles]

[Laughing] Don't be silly.

What about Greta, you have her?

I do.

I also have Regan.

Regan is Nora's daughter.

What, do you think
that disqualifies her?

Not by itself, it's just...

Nora never pens the obvious suspect.

Regan Reilly is the only one playing

who's a real private eye,

one of the best in the business.

She's taken down some
of the nastiest bad guys

the world has to offer.

Nora would know

that casting her as the murderer

would be about playing her against type,

which is pretty obvious.

I see that more as a misdirect.

Hmm, I might, too,

if she wasn't also married
to a hotshot detective,

which makes her
even more obvious.

The main reason

I think Regan isn't our killer

is because her best friend, Alvirah Meehan,

is the world's most
famous amateur sleuth

and Nora Reilly's biggest fan.

You're not suggesting that it's Alvirah?

Hmm, that's the big question mark.

Too obvious?

Too devious.

Because if Nora cast Alvirah

as the murderer,

then she made the
most obvious choice of all.

We have to go back to the board.

Hmm...

My French is un peu rouille...

But I believe

I can translate this.

However,

thrilling thought it is
to be part of your team,

I must admit I am a bit wary
of your sudden alliance.

Well, after staying up all last night,

trying to decipher this map,

we knew that it was
partner or perish.

Pun intended.

Oh.

You see, once we learned

that you were
an international diplomat,

we figured if anyone could
parlez-vous francais

and crack this...
[Snaps fingers]

It's you.

Hmm, well.

Crack it, I shall!

[Cell phone rings]

Oh, excuse me.

Yeah. Jack Reilly.

What? Oh, no, no, no,
it's a perfect time.

Yeah, thanks for
getting back to me so quickly.

Uh-huh.

Sure, sure.

Identity thief.

Stole a winner's ticket, costume...

Well, sometimes, you get lucky.

Yeah, I know, right,
what are the odds?

All right, I'll email you a current picture

so you know who to greet
when we dock in the A.M.

Okay, thanks for your help.

Willy...

Say hello to our counterfeiter

and our card cheat.

I don't trust men with hair.

You're the...

I really think we should warn him.

About what?

That we suspect his
wife's trying to kill him?

The FBI's running the picture
I emailed them of her

through their next gen
identification system,

and whoever she is
won't be secret for long.

But if...

No. No, buts.

[Quietly]
Without solid evidence,

Casper is just as likely
to hurry back to Serena

and tell her what
the crazy ladies said.

Then the only thing
that we can count on

is her waiting till she gets back home

to kill him without our interference.

Okay, if you look right here
at the cuff of his sleeve,

you'll see it.

All right, this is what allows him

to make sure he controls the game.

I'm such a sucker.

[Sighs] No, Willy, you're not.

This guy's a career con man.

He's hit one casino
and card room after another,

always assuming
another identity,

always playing the happy loser

while using counterfeit bills

as he builds up trust,

and then he cleans folks out.

Unless we stop him.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Only one way to find out.

It's the bloody handprint, all right.

It's too small to be a man's

so our murderer is a woman.

[Chuckling awkwardly]

Which eliminates Casper and Hans

and has me thinking this just might be...

[Together]: Greta!

Eureka!

The mark for Left Hook Louis' gold mine!

Now all I have to do

is track the longitude and the latitude

and the bounty will be ours!

Cracking, eh?

[Both, unenthusiastically]
Cracking.

[Quietly]:
Okay, once more, what's the plan?

I take first watch,
don't argue why,

you'll take the second,
so he doesn't die.

And no getting out of the car,

if you get my meaning.

We stick with the plan
no matter what.

[Whispering]: Now, he's
going to go to his room

to dress for
the farewell dinner,

and we can't stop him.

But if we sense anything hinky,
we're going in to get him,

and we go in as a team.

Stay. First watch. Team.

Good.

Now go change.

And wear sensible shoes.

It could be a long night.

Remember what they told us
when we were kids, Greta,

it's not about whether you win or lose,

but how you played the...

Look, don't say it, Hans, please.

You know what
a sore loser I can be.

They find the pouch,
they find the knife.

They find everything.

[Growls in frustration]

And if I can't find
the clues in this chapter,

then I...

Very exciting.

I've got it!

[Snaps fingers]

So, what do you think, Willy old boy,

you think you're ready
to do what I taught you?

That scallywag

is about to receive
his comeuppance,

compliments of the Jack Reilly
school of card palming.

[Laughs]

Ow.

Okay, we're on pins and needles.

Where's Left Hook Louis' lost loot?

You are both
going to delight in this.

Left Hook Louis' mine
is a mere five miles

from where we're going
to dock tomorrow

at the end of the mystery cruise,

so...

Though we have yet
to identify the killer,

as the lucky caretakers of the map,

at least we've uncovered the motive.

[Chuckling in delight]

Gads!

Where has the day gone?

As I am past due joining my dear Serena

for our farewell affair,

we will have to adjourn
for a brief intermission.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

Okay, we've got 12 hours left

before we dock,

and Casper's beyond
our reach to protect him.

Now, you make sure he makes
it to his room in one piece

while I get changed and...

You call those sensible?

I call them fashionably sensible.

[Dryly] Really?

[Sighs in disapproval]

[Crowd murmuring and chuckling]

Well done.

Thank you.

Okay, the more we've talked about it,

the more we know it can't be Greta.

Which means, despite
all the reasons we listed

why it shouldn't be them,
it leaves us with...

Regan...

Or Alvirah.

But which one?

[Hissing] I don't think it's a good idea.

You grab it.

No, you grab it!

But I said it first.

You volunteered me first.

Same thing.

Read 'em and weep, boys.

What? Don't go away.

What, don't you want a
chance to win your money back?

[Chuckling]

Forgive me for interrupting, sir,

but I think you've
inadvertently taken my seat.

Why, Willy, what a nice surprise.

I thought you said
you'd lost your last hand?

Once again, sir, you're in my seat.

You're welcome to it.

[Cell phone chimes]

[Sighs nervously]

"I take first watch, don't argue why,

you'll take second, so he doesn't die."

Stay. First watch. Team.

Aw...

What do I do, what do I do,
what do I do, what do I do?

What do I have?

Ah!

[Whispering] Casper?

Casper?

Casper?

Casper? Ooh!

[Muffled grunts]

Oh! Casper!

Are you okay?

[Muffled protests]

[Slams door]

How nice of you to drop in.

[Whispering] Alvirah!

[Knocking] Hello?

Hello?

[Knocking insistently]
It's time to go!

Hey.

Oh, it's you.

[Coughing weakly]

Stay back.

You don't want to catch this,

it's a killer.

Oh, it's a shame you're feeling so punk.

You know, I ran into Casper

this afternoon,

and we made plans
for us all to grab a cocktail

before dinner.

Oh, well, Caspy already left.

Funny,

he never mentioned meeting for drinks.

Hmm.

Well, don't let me spoil your fun.

Have a lovely evening.

Caspy, dear,

I'm so sorry if you're uncomfortable.

[Muffled protests]

I'd hoped to kill you

like all my other husbands,

suddenly and without warning.

That was before Miss Noseypants interfered.

Making it impossible for me to cash in

as the grieving widow.

Your discomfort doesn't
bother me one bit.

You and that lying Regan Reilly.

Nothing would please me more
than throwing you two overboard,

but, sadly,

my survival must take precedent

over such instant gratification.

[Moaning in protest]

Oh, stop complaining.

I wasted five years of
my life on this marriage.

[Casper gulps]

At my age, do you think
five years grows on a tree?

[Mumbling threats]

[Laughs]

Well, of course, I'm going
to get away with it, silly.

I always do.

Why, by the time your partner finds you,

I will be row, row...

♪ Rowing my boat ♪

♪ Far, far, away ♪

♪ Escaping now, escaping now ♪

♪ To kill another day... ♪

[Giggles]

[Hushed] Go, go!

I'm moving my feet!

Not fast enough!

So, do you have any children?

Yeah, two.

Both in college.

One on the east coast and one out west.

You have a beautiful family.

Thanks.

We see each other every
summer and all the holidays,

that is when they're not skiing

or traveling, or with friends.

When they're this age,

you don't see them
half as often as you'd like to.

[Sighs nervously]

Would you care to dance?

There's... no music.

I know.

That way, I don't have to
worry about staying on the beat.

[Chuckles]

Yeah.

Madame.

Monsieur.

[Giggling]

[Laughs]

Aren't you a little...

Under-dressed?

Have you seen Alvirah?

No. Why? What's wrong?

[Sighs] Nothing.

Regan.

No, nothing, really.
I just need her to...

Look, if you see Alvirah,
tell her I said to stay put.

Now, do you really want
to open that box, Pandora?

But I smell...

Trouble.

What else is new?

Look on the bright side,

with that pair up to... whatever,

you'll probably have
the plot for your next book

by the end of the night.

[Laughs]

[Banging insistently on door]

[Whispering] Alvirah!

[Banging on door]

Alvirah, are you in there?

[Knocking and rattling lock]

[Winding window latch]

And I'll, uh, raise a hundred.

Not with these.

Well, Oliver, in or out?

I'm in.

I'll see your hundred and call.

Two pairs, queen high.

Two pairs king high.

Well, that's it for me.

[Willy]:
It's not it for me.

Would you pass those cards over?

My pleasure.

Just bust it.

- Bust it open.
- No!

It's bad enough that we stole it.

Borrowed.

Shame, Greta!

Hans!

[Sighs]

Detected, Greta.

Back. We must take this
back to the captain

before we suffer further shame!

[Muffled cries]

[Mumbled] Regan!
[Muffled pleas]

Okay, come here.

Ah!

Hurry up, she's getting away!

She's stealing a lifeboat! Go! Get out!

Okay, here.
Okay, okay!

Get out!

- Be careful.
- Ooh! Ow!

Oh, that didn't touch you.

I can't find my satchel.

But doesn't it have the...

Sets for chapter 21.

Yes.

I thought I had it with me.

Nora, you don't think...

Someone would actually cheat

to learn who the
mystery game murderer is?

I know I had it in the salon.

That's where I've been
storing all the chapters for you.

Well then, that's where we should look.

Oh, I hope there's no trouble.

You're right.

It's gotta be...

Her, I know.

But why rush it?

Don't you think we should?

No. Yes. No.

[Laughing] Me too.

[Giggling]

We could always pick this up later.

We could.

Right where we left off.

Or better yet...

Find out where this might take us?

- On...
- One...

- Two...
- Three...

[Together]:
We formally accuse...

Nora was just here.

Well, you know what that means.

Exactly.

If we can't find Nora...

We have to do our accusing face-to-face.

I'll call that

and raise you...

10,000.

Well, I think this
would cover your 10 large.

Four lucky sevens for the win.

Ollie...

I know you'll correct me if I'm wrong,

but in poker, nothing beats a royal flush.

You're a cheater.

It takes one to know one.

What's really gonna sting is, I'm a cop,

and you're under arrest.

It's not here either.

I'm so sorry.

Well, let's not
jump to conclusions.

Captain, perhaps you...

Hold on, what do we have here?

We formally accuse the dance hall girl...

...of murder!

- Look what we found!
- Look what I've stolen!

Look at this!

[Everyone gasping in shock]

I'm suspicious about this money.

[Shouting and commotion]

[Arguing]

[Everyone talking at once]

Quiet!

[Everyone talking at once]

[Casper shouts] Quiet!

[Room falls silent]

My wife,

she's a murderer.

[All murmuring in confusion]

[Casper]: No, a real murderer!

So that means Alvirah was right.

So Regan must...

Watch him.

[Everyone murmuring in unrest]

[Shouting angrily]

Regan, I'm coming!

Serena!

Get away from her!

[Yelps]

[Screaming]

Here! Grab hold!
Let me help you!

No.

I can't, I'll fall!

Don't be a fool, Mona, don't be a fool.

Or is it Lola?

It's Ethel.

Well, Ethel,

if the propellers don't get you,

the freezing water will.

Now let me help you!

Police!

Shut it down.

[Engines stop chugging]

What did I tell you?

Fashionable and...

Sensible.

Hey, what are you doing up here?

I've been looking everywhere for you.

I'm sorry, Regan.

What are you talking about?

I did it again.

I didn't wait in the car.

Or should I say "storage room."

Alvirah..

No, I almost got you killed.

You saved my life.

No...

I did what I always do,

and that's getting lucky because of you.

You were right.

I have no business being...

In your business.

No.

No, I was wrong.

And I'm the one who needs to apologize.

Me telling you to ignore your gift,

and that's what you have,

a gift for spotting trouble

even before it happens.

All I know is,

thank goodness you got out of that car.

Look, we dodged a real...

Black widow.

I mean, the way I see it,

it would be a crime not to open up

a detective agency together.

Partner.

[Chuckling]

♪ ♪

So?

Isn't it every bit as fabu
as I promised it would be?

Every bit.

Come on, Regan, be a big girl

and admit how much you like it.

It's beyond "fabu."

[Cass]: I know!

Tallulah liked it so much

we almost decided to use it
for her and her poochy friends

for their playdates.

Didn't we, sweetie?

Anyway,

we're just thrilled

that you love your new space

for the Meehan & Reilly
Detective Agency.

The Reilly & Meehan Agency.

Not according to your door.

Anyway,

I've been uptown and down,

making sure that anyone
involved with anything

they're desperate to keep off page six

comes to see you at
your one-stop crime shop!

[Lulu barking]

Yes, it is, Lulu.

It is time for our afternoon nappy.

[Whimpers]

Goodbye!

Thanks, Cass.

[Sighing]

[Sighs]

[Telephone rings]

Meehan & Reilly Detective Agency,

this is Alvirah Meehan.

How can we help you?

Mm-hmm?

Oh, my goodness.
Go on.

Oh! I'm listening.

Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪